Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO): Stephen Hawking Extended Interview

John Oliver talks to Stephen Hawking in the first installment of the Last Week Tonight’s new “People Who Think Good” series. They cover such topics as parallel universes, artificial intelligence, and Charlize Theron.

Across the broad expanse of history, there've been billions upon billions of idiots,

as well as a handful of smart people. We interviewed some of the latter group

for our ongoing series: Great Minds. People Who Think Good.

This week's people who thinks good: Stephen Hawking.

Professor Stephen Hawking is a pioneering physicist, international best-selling author,

and a popular guest character on The Simpsons.

[Stephen Hawking:] "If you are looking for trouble, you found it."

[Principal Skinner:] "Yeah. Just try me, you... Oh!"

His breakthrough work on black holes and string theory is considered hugely important

by anyone who pretends to understand it.

[Stephen Hawking:] An expanding universe does not preclude a creator.

I traveled to the Department of Applied Mathematics and Theoretical Physics at Cambridge University

to speak with one of the world's greatest living minds.

First off, congratulations on being the first subject of our Great Minds series.

Be honest, is this single greatest honor you have ever received?

Yes.

Good. It's a little hard to read your tone of voice.

When you say that, are you being sarcastic?

Yes

I thought so.

If there is one thing you want people to understand about your work, bearing in mind that most people

will never understand anything about your work, what would that thing be?

Imaginary time.

People think it's something you have in dreams

or when you are up against a deadline.

But it's a well defined concept.

Imaginary time is like another direction in space

It's the one bit of my work science-fiction writers haven't used,

because they don't understand it.

Idiots. People are such idiots, because presumably, to my mind, you're simply talking about the theoretical

measurement obtained from real time by a [?] rotation of pi divided by two in a complex plane

where "t" equals "i" times "t". It's not that difficult to get your head around.

Let's talk about artificial intelligence. In a recent op-ed column, you said —and I quote—,

"Success in creating artificial intelligence would be the biggest event in human history.

Unfortunately, it might also be the last."

Are you saying that robots are going to destroy humanity?

And, is that a scientific argument, or the pitch for an amazing movie?

Artificial intelligence could be a real danger in the not-too-distant future.

It could decide improvements to itself and outsmart us all.

I know you're trying to get people to be cautious there,

but why should I not be excited about fighting a robot?

You would lose.

Well, ok, for a start, we don't know that, do we? We don't know that for sure.

'Cause what could a robot do that I couldn't then fight back by simply just unplugging him, right?

There's a story that scientists built an intelligent computer

The first question they asked it was,

"Is there a God?"

The computer replied, "There is now."

And a bolt of lightning struck the plug

so it couldn't be turned off.

Holy shit, that's the most terrifying story I've ever heard.

Yes.

Hold on! Who is talking to me right now?

Is it you, or is it the sentient computer pretending to talk on your behalf?

It's me.

Yeah, but how do I know that, professor?

Because, if computers had become sentient, what better way to convince people they hadn't

than by coopting the voice of the most intelligent man on the planet?

You're an idiot.

Yeah, but who's saying that, Stephen? You, or the machine?

Both of us.

Ok. Allright. That's actually quite reassuring.

In 2006 you said, "In a world that's in chaos politically, socially, and environmentally,

how can the human race sustain another hundred years?"

A month later, you said, "I don't know the answer. That's why I asked the question,

to get people to think about it, and to be aware of the dangers we now face."

So, it's now been eight years since then.

No pressure, but, have you come up with an answer yet?

I still don't have an answer.

At least the chance of nuclear annihilitaion has diminished.

But there are plenty of other dangers out there.

Ok, that's pretty depressing, professor, because —if I can explain this to you—,

you're the smartest man on Earth. So, if you can't come up with an answer, we are completely fucked.

Moving on. Sure, you're book-smart, Hawking, but are street-smart?

I'll give you a hypothetical. You're a mid-level drug hustler. You control around 12 city blocks.

One of your suppliers, Tito, was supposed to meet you behind the warehouse at midnight

to give you half a kilo of medical-grade cocaine.

Tito shows up late, but he doesn't have the drugs.

He says he was jumped, but he looks high. What's your move, Hawking?

I don't do drugs.

Yeah, you know what? That's actually the smartest possible answer,

because all drug kingpins know that you don't do your own shit.

Yes.

Well played, Hawking, well played.

You've stated that you believe there could be an infinite number of parallel universes.

Does that mean that there is a universe out there where I am smarter than you?

Yes. And also a universe where you're funny.

Look, if you're so smart, what number am I thinking o...

13.

It was 13. I was thinking of 13.

Ok, that was a lucky guess. What am I thinking right now?

That you've been a huge disappointment to your family.

I wasn't thinking that. Why would I think that?

I'm trying as hard as I can, why is that so hard for them to understand (hypothetically)?

I wasn't thinking that.

Let's do some quick yes or no questions.

Are the following things technically possible?

Life on other planets. Is that theoretically possible?

Yes.

What about a Schwarzschild worm hole?

Yes.

Ok, what about this: me going on a date with Charlize Theron?

No.

What? Not at all, in no universe?

No.

In none of the infinite universes does that happen?

No.

It's completely beyond the bounds of scientific possibility, is what's you're saying?

Yes.

A quick follow-up question. In any of those potential universes, am I the one rejecting her,

and that's why it doesn't work out?

No.

You do realize that typing your response is difficult for me, correct?

Ok, sure, yeah. I'ts just that I'm trying to play this out.

Because I just want to see if there's any hypothetical hope...

No.

It doesn't matter. But never say never.

Ok. If time travel were possible, would you want to go back in time and refuse to do this interview?

Yes.

You truly are an incredibly smart man.

Stephen Hawking, that you so much for your time.