An Antidote to Dissatisfaction

Everybody is familiar with the feeling
that things are not as

they should be,

that you not successful enough,

your relationships are not satisfying
enough

that you don't have the things you crave,

a chronic dissatisfaction that

makes you look outwards with envy

and inwards with disappointment,

pop culture, advertising and social media

make this worse by reminding you

that aiming for anything less that your

dream job is failure, you need to have
great

experiences constantly,

be conventionally attractive,

have lot of friends

and find your soulmate

and that others have

all of these things and

are truly happy

and of course a vast array of

self-improvement products

implies that is your fault for not

working hard enough for yourself.

In the last two decades

researchers have been starting to
investigate

how we can counteract these impulses

the field of positive psychology emerged

the study of what makes life worth living

while conductive behavior therapy

was developed to change negative feelings;

scientist began to ask

why are some people happier and

more satisfied than others?

and are there ways to apply what

they are doing right

to the rest of us?

In this video we want to talk about

one of the strongest predictors

of how happy people are,

how easily to make friends

and how good they are at dealing with

hardship.

An antidote to dissatisfaction
so to speak:

Gratitude

While gratitud may sound like another

self improvement trend preached by

people who use hashtags

what we currently know about it is based

on a body of scientific work and studies.

we'll include them in the description

gratitud can mean very different things

to different people in different context:

it's a character trait, a feeling, a
virtue and a behavior

you can feel grateful towards someone

who did something for you

for random events like the weather

or even for nature or faith

and it's wired into our biology.

How gratitude connects us

to each other

the predecessor of gratitude is probably

reciprocity,

it likely evolved as a biological signal

that motivates animals to exchange things

for their mutual benefit

and it can be found in the animal kingdom

among certain fish, birds or mammals,

but specially in primates.

When your brain recognizes that someone
has done something nice to you

it reacts with gratitude to motivate you
to repaid them

this gratitude makes you care about others

and others care about you.

This was important because as humans
brains

got better at reading emotions

selfish individual were identified and
shunned

it became an evolutionary advantage to
play well

with others

and build lasting relationships,

for example:

if you were hungry and someone else

showed you where to find tasty berries

you felt gratitude towards them

and a bond to return the favor in the
future

a drive to be pro-social

when you repaid them, they feel gratitude

towards you

this brought your ancestors close together

and forged bonds and friendships

so, early forms of gratitude where

biological mechanisms

that modified your behavior towards
cooperation

which helped humans to dominate the earth,

but over time

gratitude became more than just an impulse

to play fair

the consequences of gratitude.

Scientists found that gratitude stimulates

the pathways in your brain involved in

feelings of reward, forming social bonds,
and interpreting others intentions.

It also makes it easier to save and
retrieve

positive memories

even more gratitude counteracts negative
feelings and traits

like envy and social comparison:

narcissism

cynicism

and materialism

as a consequence,

people who are grateful, no matter what
for

tend to be happier, and more satisfied

they have better relationships

and easier time making friends.

They sleep better,

tend to suffer less for depression,

addiction and burnout

and are better dealing with traumatic
events.

In a way, gratitude makes it less likely
that you'll fall into

one of the psychological traps modern
life has set for you

for example, gratitude measurably counters

the tendency to forget and downplay
positive events

If you work long and hard for something

actually getting it can feel daft and
empty

you can find yourself emotionally
back where you started

and try to achieve the next biggest thing,

looking for that satisfaction

instead of being satisfied with yourself

or, imagine being lonely and wanting

to have more friends.

you actually might have someone

or even multiple people who want to hang
out,

but you might feel that this is not enough

that you're a loser and feel bad about
yourself.

So, you might turn down their attempts to
hang out

and become more lonely.

if you feel grateful for your
relationships instead

you might accept invitations

or even take the initiative.

the more often you risk opening up,

the higher the chance of solidifying
relationships

and meeting new people.

in the best case, gratitude can trigger

a feedback loop.

positive feelings lead to more pro-social
behavior

which leads to more positive social
experiences

that cause more positive feelings.

This is a common experience after serious
hardship

like chemotherapy, for example:

life can feel amazing after a crisis is
over

the smallest things can be bottomless
sources of joy

from being able to taste

to just sitting in the sun or chatting
with a friend

objectively, your life is the same or
maybe even slightly worse than before

but your brain compares your present
experiences

with the times when life was bad

and reacts with gratitude.

So, in a nutshell

gratitude refocuses your attention

towards the good things you have

and the consequences of this shift

are better feelings and more positive
experiences

while it is great to know these things

is there actually a way for you to feel
more of it?

How To Make Your Brain More Grateful?

The ability to experience more or
less gratitude

is not equally distributed

you have what's known as trait gratitude

that determines how much you are
able to feel it.

It depends on your genetics, personality,
and culture

this discovery made scientists wonder

if they could design exercises that
change your trait gratitude

and lead to more happiness.

Let's start with important caveats:

It's not yet entirely clear to what
degree gratitude can be trained

or how long the effects last

there are no magic pills for happiness

Life is complicated.

On some days, it feels like you're in
control of yourself

and, on others, you feel like you're not.

And this is okay.

Also, sometimes pursuing happiness can
make you more unhappy

if you put too much pressure on yourself.

Gratitude should also not be seen
as a solution to depression

or a substitute for professional help.

It can only be a piece of the puzzle.

It's not the solution to the puzzle
itself,

the easiest gratitude exercise,
with the most solid research behind it

is gratitude journaling.

It means sitting down for a few minutes,

one to three times a week,

and writing down five to ten things you're
grateful for.

It might feel weird at first,

so start simply.

Can you feel grateful for a little thing?

Like how great coffee is,

or that someone was kind to you.

Can you appreciate something
someone else did for you?

Can you reflect on which things or
people you would miss if they were gone

and be grateful that they're in your life?

We're all different,

so you'll know what works for you.

And that's it, really.

It feels almost insulting,

like things shouldn't be that simple.

But in numerous studies,

the participants reported more happiness

and a higher general life satisfaction

after doing this practice for a few weeks.

And, even more,

studies have found changes in brain
activity

some months after they ended.

Practicing gratitude, may be a real
way to reprogram yourself.

This research shows that your emotions
are not fixed.

In the end, how you experience life

is a representation of what you believe
about it.

If you attack your core beliefs about
yourself and your life,

you can change your thoughts and feelings,

which automatically changes your behavior.

It's pretty mind-blowing that something
as simple as self-reflection

can hack the pathways in our brain
to fight dissatisfaction.

And, if this is no reason to be more
optimistic

what is?

Being a human is hard,

but it doesn't need to be as hard.

And, if you actively look,

you might find that your life is much
better than you thought.

If you're curious and want to try
out gratitude,

we made a thing.

Please note that you don't need to buy
anything from anyone to practice

gratitude, all you need is paper, a pen,
and five minutes.

Having said that, we've made a Kurzgesagt
gratitude journal,

based on studies we've read,

conversations with experts,

and our personal experiences with
gratitude over the last year.

It's structured in a way that might make
it a bit easier

to get into the habit of gratitude
journaling.

There are short explanations and
reflections to mix it up

and make it more interesting.

We've also made it as pretty as we could.

This video continues the unofficial series

of more personal, introspective videos,

from optimistic nihilism to loneliness
and now gratitude.

We don't want to be a self-help channel,

so we'll keep this sort of video at
roughly one per year.

We hope they're helpful to some of you.

Thank you for watching.