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Everybody is familiar with the feeling
that things are not as
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they should be,
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that you not successful enough,
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your relationships are not satisfying
enough
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that you don't have the things you crave,
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a chronic dissatisfaction that
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makes you look outwards with envy
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and inwards with disappointment,
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pop culture, advertising and social media
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make this worse by reminding you
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that aiming for anything less that your
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dream job is failure, you need to have
great
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experiences constantly,
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be conventionally attractive,
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have lot of friends
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and find your soulmate
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and that others have
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all of these things and
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are truly happy
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and of course a vast array of
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self-improvement products
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implies that is your fault for not
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working hard enough for yourself.
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In the last two decades
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researchers have been starting to
investigate
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how we can counteract these impulses
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the field of positive psychology emerged
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the study of what makes life worth living
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while conductive behavior therapy
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was developed to change negative feelings;
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scientist began to ask
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why are some people happier and
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more satisfied than others?
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and are there ways to apply what
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they are doing right
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to the rest of us?
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In this video we want to talk about
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one of the strongest predictors
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of how happy people are,
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how easily to make friends
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and how good they are at dealing with
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hardship.
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An antidote to dissatisfaction
so to speak:
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Gratitude
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While gratitud may sound like another
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self improvement trend preached by
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people who use hashtags
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what we currently know about it is based
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on a body of scientific work and studies.
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we'll include them in the description
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gratitud can mean very different things
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to different people in different context:
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it's a character trait, a feeling, a
virtue and a behavior
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you can feel grateful towards someone
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who did something for you
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for random events like the weather
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or even for nature or faith
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and it's wired into our biology.
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How gratitude connects us
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to each other
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the predecessor of gratitude is probably
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reciprocity,
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it likely evolved as a biological signal
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that motivates animals to exchange things
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for their mutual benefit
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and it can be found in the animal kingdom
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among certain fish, birds or mammals,
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but specially in primates.
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When your brain recognizes that someone
has done something nice to you
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it reacts with gratitude to motivate you
to repaid them
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this gratitude makes you care about others
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and others care about you.
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This was important because as humans
brains
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got better at reading emotions
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selfish individual were identified and
shunned
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it became an evolutionary advantage to
play well
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with others
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and build lasting relationships,
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for example:
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if you were hungry and someone else
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showed you where to find tasty berries
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you felt gratitude towards them
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and a bond to return the favor in the
future
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a drive to be pro-social
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when you repaid them, they feel gratitude
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towards you
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this brought your ancestors close together
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and forged bonds and friendships
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so, early forms of gratitude where
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biological mechanisms
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that modified your behavior towards
cooperation
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which helped humans to dominate the earth,
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but over time
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gratitude became more than just an impulse
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to play fair
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the consequences of gratitude.
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Scientists found that gratitude stimulates
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the pathways in your brain involved in
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feelings of reward, forming social bonds,
and interpreting others intentions.
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It also makes it easier to save and
retrieve
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positive memories
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even more gratitude counteracts negative
feelings and traits
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like envy and social comparison:
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narcissism
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cynicism
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and materialism
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as a consequence,
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people who are grateful, no matter what
for
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tend to be happier, and more satisfied
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they have better relationships
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and easier time making friends.
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They sleep better,
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tend to suffer less for depression,
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addiction and burnout
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and are better dealing with traumatic
events.
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In a way, gratitude makes it less likely
that you'll fall into
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one of the psychological traps modern
life has set for you
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for example, gratitude measurably counters
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the tendency to forget and downplay
positive events
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If you work long and hard for something
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actually getting it can feel daft and
empty
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you can find yourself emotionally
back where you started
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and try to achieve the next biggest thing,
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looking for that satisfaction
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instead of being satisfied with yourself
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or, imagine being lonely and wanting
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to have more friends.
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you actually might have someone
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or even multiple people who want to hang
out,
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but you might feel that this is not enough
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that you're a loser and feel bad about
yourself.
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So, you might turn down their attempts to
hang out
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and become more lonely.
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if you feel grateful for your
relationships instead
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you might accept invitations
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or even take the initiative.
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the more often you risk opening up,
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the higher the chance of solidifying
relationships
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and meeting new people.
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in the best case, gratitude can trigger
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a feedback loop.
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positive feelings lead to more pro-social
behavior
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which leads to more positive social
experiences
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that cause more positive feelings.
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This is a common experience after serious
hardship
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like chemotherapy, for example:
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life can feel amazing after a crisis is
over
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the smallest things can be bottomless
sources of joy
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from being able to taste
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to just sitting in the sun or chatting
with a friend
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objectively, your life is the same or
maybe even slightly worse than before
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but your brain compares your present
experiences
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with the times when life was bad
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and reacts with gratitude.
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So, in a nutshell
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gratitude refocuses your attention
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towards the good things you have
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and the consequences of this shift
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are better feelings and more positive
experiences
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while it is great to know these things
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is there actually a way for you to feel
more of it?
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How To Make Your Brain More Grateful?
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The ability to experience more or
less gratitude
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is not equally distributed
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you have what's known as trait gratitude
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that determines how much you are
able to feel it.
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It depends on your genetics, personality,
and culture
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this discovery made scientists wonder
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if they could design exercises that
change your trait gratitude
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and lead to more happiness.
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Let's start with important caveats:
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It's not yet entirely clear to what
degree gratitude can be trained
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or how long the effects last
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there are no magic pills for happiness
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Life is complicated.
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On some days, it feels like you're in
control of yourself
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and, on others, you feel like you're not.
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And this is okay.
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Also, sometimes pursuing happiness can
make you more unhappy
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if you put too much pressure on yourself.
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Gratitude should also not be seen
as a solution to depression
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or a substitute for professional help.
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It can only be a piece of the puzzle.
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It's not the solution to the puzzle
itself,
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the easiest gratitude exercise,
with the most solid research behind it
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is gratitude journaling.
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It means sitting down for a few minutes,
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one to three times a week,
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and writing down five to ten things you're
grateful for.
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It might feel weird at first,
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so start simply.
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Can you feel grateful for a little thing?
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Like how great coffee is,
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or that someone was kind to you.
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Can you appreciate something
someone else did for you?
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Can you reflect on which things or
people you would miss if they were gone
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and be grateful that they're in your life?
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We're all different,
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so you'll know what works for you.
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And that's it, really.
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It feels almost insulting,
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like things shouldn't be that simple.
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But in numerous studies,
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the participants reported more happiness
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and a higher general life satisfaction
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after doing this practice for a few weeks.
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And, even more,
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studies have found changes in brain
activity
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some months after they ended.
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Practicing gratitude, may be a real
way to reprogram yourself.
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This research shows that your emotions
are not fixed.
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In the end, how you experience life
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is a representation of what you believe
about it.
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If you attack your core beliefs about
yourself and your life,
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you can change your thoughts and feelings,
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which automatically changes your behavior.
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It's pretty mind-blowing that something
as simple as self-reflection
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can hack the pathways in our brain
to fight dissatisfaction.
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And, if this is no reason to be more
optimistic
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what is?
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Being a human is hard,
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but it doesn't need to be as hard.
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And, if you actively look,
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you might find that your life is much
better than you thought.
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If you're curious and want to try
out gratitude,
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we made a thing.
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Please note that you don't need to buy
anything from anyone to practice
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gratitude, all you need is paper, a pen,
and five minutes.
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Having said that, we've made a Kurzgesagt
gratitude journal,
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based on studies we've read,
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conversations with experts,
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and our personal experiences with
gratitude over the last year.
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It's structured in a way that might make
it a bit easier
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to get into the habit of gratitude
journaling.
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There are short explanations and
reflections to mix it up
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and make it more interesting.
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We've also made it as pretty as we could.
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This video continues the unofficial series
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of more personal, introspective videos,
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from optimistic nihilism to loneliness
and now gratitude.
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We don't want to be a self-help channel,
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so we'll keep this sort of video at
roughly one per year.
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We hope they're helpful to some of you.
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Thank you for watching.