The walk from "no" to "yes"
-
0:00 - 0:03Well, the subject of difficult negotiation
-
0:03 - 0:05reminds me of one of my favorite stories
-
0:05 - 0:07from the Middle East,
-
0:07 - 0:10of a man who left to his three sons 17 camels.
-
0:10 - 0:13To the first son, he left half the camels.
-
0:13 - 0:15To the second son, he left a third of the camels,
-
0:15 - 0:17and to the youngest son, he left a ninth of the camels.
-
0:17 - 0:19Well three sons got into a negotiation.
-
0:19 - 0:21Seventeen doesn't divide by two.
-
0:21 - 0:23It doesn't divide by three.
-
0:23 - 0:25It doesn't divide by nine.
-
0:25 - 0:27Brotherly tempers started to get strained.
-
0:27 - 0:29Finally, in desperation,
-
0:29 - 0:32they went and they consulted a wise old woman.
-
0:32 - 0:34The wise old woman thought about their problem for a long time,
-
0:34 - 0:36and finally she came back and said,
-
0:36 - 0:38"Well, I don't know if I can help you,
-
0:38 - 0:40but at least, if you want, you can have my camel."
-
0:40 - 0:42So then they had 18 camels.
-
0:42 - 0:45The first son took his half -- half of 18 is nine.
-
0:45 - 0:48The second son took his third -- a third of 18 is six.
-
0:48 - 0:50The youngest son took his ninth --
-
0:50 - 0:52a ninth of 18 is two.
-
0:52 - 0:54You get 17.
-
0:54 - 0:56They had one camel left over.
-
0:56 - 0:58They gave it back to the wise old woman.
-
0:58 - 1:00(Laughter)
-
1:00 - 1:02Now if you think about that story for a moment,
-
1:02 - 1:04I think it resembles
-
1:04 - 1:07a lot of the difficult negotiations we get involved in.
-
1:07 - 1:09They start off like 17 camels -- no way to resolve it.
-
1:09 - 1:11Somehow, what we need to do
-
1:11 - 1:14is step back from those situations, like that wise old woman,
-
1:14 - 1:16look at the situation through fresh eyes
-
1:16 - 1:19and come up with an 18th camel.
-
1:20 - 1:22Now finding that 18th camel in the world's conflicts
-
1:22 - 1:25has been my life passion.
-
1:25 - 1:28I basically see humanity a bit like those three brothers.
-
1:28 - 1:30We're all one family.
-
1:30 - 1:32We know that scientifically,
-
1:32 - 1:34thanks to the communications revolution,
-
1:34 - 1:37all the tribes on the planet, all 15,000 tribes,
-
1:37 - 1:40are in touch with each other.
-
1:40 - 1:42And it's a big family reunion,
-
1:42 - 1:44and yet, like many family reunions,
-
1:44 - 1:46it's not all peace and light.
-
1:46 - 1:48There's a lot of conflict,
-
1:48 - 1:50and the question is,
-
1:50 - 1:52how do we deal with our differences?
-
1:52 - 1:54How do we deal with our deepest differences,
-
1:54 - 1:56given the human propensity for conflict
-
1:56 - 1:58and the human genius
-
1:58 - 2:01at devising weapons of enormous destruction?
-
2:01 - 2:03That's the question.
-
2:03 - 2:06As I've spent the last better part of three decades,
-
2:06 - 2:08almost four,
-
2:08 - 2:10traveling the world,
-
2:10 - 2:13trying to work, getting involved in conflicts
-
2:13 - 2:16ranging from Yugoslavia to the Middle East
-
2:16 - 2:18to Chechnya to Venezuela,
-
2:18 - 2:21some of the most difficult conflicts on the face of the planet,
-
2:21 - 2:23I've been asking myself that question.
-
2:23 - 2:25And I think I've found, in some ways,
-
2:25 - 2:27what is the secret to peace.
-
2:27 - 2:30It's actually surprisingly simple.
-
2:30 - 2:33It's not easy, but it's simple.
-
2:33 - 2:35It's not even new.
-
2:35 - 2:37It may be one of our most ancient human heritages.
-
2:37 - 2:40The secret to peace is us.
-
2:40 - 2:42It's us who act
-
2:42 - 2:44as the surrounding community
-
2:44 - 2:46around any conflict,
-
2:46 - 2:48who can play a constructive role.
-
2:48 - 2:51Let me give you just a story, an example.
-
2:52 - 2:54About 20 years ago, I was in South Africa
-
2:54 - 2:56working with the parties in that conflict,
-
2:56 - 2:58and I had an extra month,
-
2:58 - 3:00so I spent some time living
-
3:00 - 3:02with several groups of San Bushmen.
-
3:02 - 3:05I was curious about them and about the way in which they resolve conflict.
-
3:06 - 3:08Because, after all, within living memory,
-
3:08 - 3:10they were hunters and gatherers,
-
3:10 - 3:12living pretty much like our ancestors lived
-
3:12 - 3:15for maybe 99 percent of the human story.
-
3:15 - 3:18And all the men have these poison arrows that they use for hunting --
-
3:18 - 3:20absolutely fatal.
-
3:20 - 3:22So how do they deal with their differences?
-
3:22 - 3:24Well what I learned
-
3:24 - 3:27is whenever tempers rise in those communities,
-
3:27 - 3:30someone goes and hides the poison arrows out in the bush,
-
3:30 - 3:34and then everyone sits around in a circle like this,
-
3:34 - 3:37and they sit, and they talk, and they talk.
-
3:37 - 3:39It may take two days, three days, four days,
-
3:39 - 3:41but they don't rest
-
3:41 - 3:43until they find a resolution,
-
3:43 - 3:45or better yet, a reconciliation.
-
3:45 - 3:47And if tempers are still too high,
-
3:47 - 3:49then they send someone off to visit some relatives
-
3:49 - 3:51as a cooling-off period.
-
3:51 - 3:53Well that system
-
3:53 - 3:56is, I think, probably the system that kept us alive to this point,
-
3:56 - 3:58given our human tendencies.
-
3:58 - 4:01That system, I call the "third side."
-
4:01 - 4:03Because if you think about it,
-
4:03 - 4:06normally when we think of conflict, when we describe it,
-
4:06 - 4:08there's always two sides --
-
4:08 - 4:10it's Arabs versus Israelis, labor versus management,
-
4:10 - 4:13husband versus wife, Republicans versus Democrats.
-
4:13 - 4:15But what we don't often see
-
4:15 - 4:17is that there's always a third side,
-
4:17 - 4:19and the third side of the conflict is us,
-
4:19 - 4:21it's the surrounding community,
-
4:21 - 4:23it's the friends, the allies,
-
4:23 - 4:25the family members, the neighbors.
-
4:25 - 4:28And we can play an incredibly constructive role.
-
4:28 - 4:30Perhaps the most fundamental way
-
4:30 - 4:33in which the third side can help
-
4:33 - 4:36is to remind the parties of what's really at stake.
-
4:36 - 4:38For the sake of the kids, for the sake of the family,
-
4:38 - 4:41for the sake of the community, for the sake of the future,
-
4:41 - 4:44let's stop fighting for a moment and start talking.
-
4:44 - 4:46Because, the thing is,
-
4:46 - 4:48when we're involved in conflict,
-
4:48 - 4:50it's very easy to lose perspective.
-
4:50 - 4:52It's very easy to react.
-
4:52 - 4:55Human beings -- we're reaction machines.
-
4:55 - 4:57And as the saying goes,
-
4:57 - 4:59when angry, you will make the best speech
-
4:59 - 5:02you will ever regret.
-
5:02 - 5:05And so the third side reminds us of that.
-
5:05 - 5:07The third side helps us go to the balcony,
-
5:07 - 5:10which is a metaphor for a place of perspective,
-
5:10 - 5:13where we can keep our eyes on the prize.
-
5:13 - 5:16Let me tell you a little story from my own negotiating experience.
-
5:16 - 5:19Some years ago, I was involved as a facilitator
-
5:19 - 5:21in some very tough talks
-
5:21 - 5:23between the leaders of Russia
-
5:23 - 5:25and the leaders of Chechnya.
-
5:25 - 5:27There was a war going on, as you know.
-
5:27 - 5:29And we met in the Hague,
-
5:29 - 5:31in the Peace Palace,
-
5:31 - 5:34in the same room where the Yugoslav war crimes tribunal
-
5:34 - 5:36was taking place.
-
5:36 - 5:38And the talks got off to a rather rocky start
-
5:38 - 5:40when the vice president of Chechnya
-
5:40 - 5:43began by pointing at the Russians and said,
-
5:43 - 5:45"You should stay right here in your seats,
-
5:45 - 5:47because you're going to be on trial for war crimes."
-
5:47 - 5:49And then he went on, and then he turned to me and said,
-
5:49 - 5:51"You're an American.
-
5:51 - 5:54Look at what you Americans are doing in Puerto Rico."
-
5:54 - 5:57And my mind started racing, "Puerto Rico? What do I know about Puerto Rico?"
-
5:57 - 5:59I started reacting,
-
5:59 - 6:02but then I tried to remember to go to the balcony.
-
6:02 - 6:04And then when he paused,
-
6:04 - 6:06and everyone looked at me for a response,
-
6:06 - 6:09from a balcony perspective, I was able to thank him for his remarks
-
6:09 - 6:12and say, "I appreciate your criticism of my country,
-
6:12 - 6:14and I take it as a sign that we're among friends
-
6:14 - 6:17and can speak candidly to one another.
-
6:17 - 6:20And what we're here to do is not to talk about Puerto Rico or the past.
-
6:20 - 6:23What we're here to do is to see if we can figure out a way
-
6:23 - 6:26to stop the suffering and the bloodshed in Chechnya."
-
6:26 - 6:29The conversation got back on track.
-
6:29 - 6:31That's the role of the third side,
-
6:31 - 6:33is to help the parties to go to the balcony.
-
6:33 - 6:36Now let me take you for a moment
-
6:36 - 6:38to what's widely regarded as the world's most difficult conflict,
-
6:38 - 6:40or the most impossible conflict,
-
6:40 - 6:42is the Middle East.
-
6:42 - 6:45Question is: where's the third side there?
-
6:45 - 6:47How could we possibly go to the balcony?
-
6:47 - 6:49Now I don't pretend to have an answer
-
6:49 - 6:51to the Middle East conflict,
-
6:51 - 6:53but I think I've got a first step,
-
6:53 - 6:55literally, a first step,
-
6:55 - 6:58something that any one of us could do as third-siders.
-
6:58 - 7:00Let me just ask you one question first.
-
7:00 - 7:02How many of you
-
7:02 - 7:04in the last years
-
7:04 - 7:07have ever found yourself worrying about the Middle East
-
7:07 - 7:09and wondering what anyone could do?
-
7:09 - 7:11Just out of curiosity, how many of you?
-
7:11 - 7:14Okay, so the great majority of us.
-
7:14 - 7:16And here, it's so far away.
-
7:16 - 7:19Why do we pay so much attention to this conflict?
-
7:19 - 7:21Is it the number of deaths?
-
7:21 - 7:23There are a hundred times more people who die
-
7:23 - 7:25in a conflict in Africa than in the Middle East.
-
7:25 - 7:27No, it's because of the story,
-
7:27 - 7:29because we feel personally involved
-
7:29 - 7:31in that story.
-
7:31 - 7:33Whether we're Christians, Muslims or Jews,
-
7:33 - 7:35religious or non-religious,
-
7:35 - 7:37we feel we have a personal stake in it.
-
7:37 - 7:40Stories matter. As an anthropologist, I know that.
-
7:40 - 7:43Stories are what we use to transmit knowledge.
-
7:43 - 7:45They give meaning to our lives.
-
7:45 - 7:47That's what we tell here at TED, we tell stories.
-
7:47 - 7:49Stories are the key.
-
7:49 - 7:52And so my question is,
-
7:52 - 7:54yes, let's try and resolve the politics
-
7:54 - 7:56there in the Middle East,
-
7:56 - 7:59but let's also take a look at the story.
-
7:59 - 8:01Let's try to get at the root of what it's all about.
-
8:01 - 8:03Let's see if we can apply the third side to it.
-
8:03 - 8:06What would that mean? What is the story there?
-
8:06 - 8:08Now as anthropologists, we know
-
8:08 - 8:11that every culture has an origin story.
-
8:11 - 8:13What's the origin story of the Middle East?
-
8:13 - 8:15In a phrase, it's:
-
8:15 - 8:184,000 years ago, a man and his family
-
8:18 - 8:20walked across the Middle East,
-
8:20 - 8:23and the world has never been the same since.
-
8:23 - 8:25That man, of course,
-
8:25 - 8:27was Abraham.
-
8:27 - 8:29And what he stood for was unity,
-
8:29 - 8:31the unity of the family.
-
8:31 - 8:33He's the father of us all.
-
8:33 - 8:35But it's not just what he stood for, it's what his message was.
-
8:35 - 8:38His basic message was unity too,
-
8:38 - 8:41the interconnectedness of it all, the unity of it all,
-
8:41 - 8:44and his basic value was respect,
-
8:44 - 8:46was kindness toward strangers.
-
8:46 - 8:49That's what he's known for, his hospitality.
-
8:49 - 8:51So in that sense,
-
8:51 - 8:53he's the symbolic third side
-
8:53 - 8:55of the Middle East.
-
8:55 - 8:58He's the one who reminds us
-
8:58 - 9:00that we're all part of a greater whole.
-
9:00 - 9:02Now how would you --
-
9:02 - 9:04now think about that for a moment.
-
9:04 - 9:07Today we face the scourge of terrorism.
-
9:07 - 9:09What is terrorism?
-
9:09 - 9:12Terrorism is basically taking an innocent stranger
-
9:12 - 9:15and treating them as an enemy whom you kill
-
9:15 - 9:17in order to create fear.
-
9:17 - 9:19What's the opposite of terrorism?
-
9:19 - 9:21It's taking an innocent stranger
-
9:21 - 9:23and treating them as a friend
-
9:23 - 9:26whom you welcome into your home
-
9:26 - 9:28in order to sow and create understanding,
-
9:28 - 9:31or respect, or love.
-
9:31 - 9:33So what if then
-
9:33 - 9:36you took the story of Abraham,
-
9:36 - 9:38which is a third side story,
-
9:38 - 9:40what if that could be --
-
9:40 - 9:43because Abraham stands for hospitality --
-
9:43 - 9:46what if that could be an antidote to terrorism?
-
9:46 - 9:48What if that could be a vaccine
-
9:48 - 9:50against religious intolerance?
-
9:50 - 9:53How would you bring that story to life?
-
9:53 - 9:55Now it's not enough just to tell a story --
-
9:55 - 9:57that's powerful --
-
9:57 - 9:59but people need to experience the story.
-
9:59 - 10:02They need to be able to live the story. How would you do that?
-
10:02 - 10:05And that was my thinking of how would you do that.
-
10:05 - 10:07And that's what comes to the first step here.
-
10:07 - 10:09Because the simple way to do that
-
10:09 - 10:12is you go for a walk.
-
10:12 - 10:15You go for a walk in the footsteps of Abraham.
-
10:15 - 10:18You retrace the footsteps of Abraham.
-
10:18 - 10:21Because walking has a real power.
-
10:21 - 10:24You know, as an anthropologist, walking is what made us human.
-
10:24 - 10:26Walking, it's funny, when you walk,
-
10:26 - 10:28you walk side-by-side
-
10:28 - 10:31in the same common direction.
-
10:31 - 10:33Now if I were to come to you face-to-face
-
10:33 - 10:36and come this close to you,
-
10:36 - 10:39you would feel threatened.
-
10:39 - 10:41But if I walk shoulder-to-shoulder,
-
10:41 - 10:43even touching shoulders,
-
10:43 - 10:45it's no problem.
-
10:45 - 10:47Who fights while they walk?
-
10:47 - 10:50That's why in negotiations, often, when things get tough,
-
10:50 - 10:52people go for walks in the woods.
-
10:52 - 10:54So the idea came to me
-
10:54 - 10:56of what about inspiring
-
10:56 - 10:58a path, a route --
-
10:58 - 11:01think the silk route, think the Appalachian trail --
-
11:01 - 11:03that followed in the footsteps
-
11:03 - 11:05of Abraham.
-
11:05 - 11:07People said, "That's crazy. You can't.
-
11:07 - 11:10You can't retrace the footsteps of Abraham. It's too insecure.
-
11:10 - 11:12You've got to cross all these borders.
-
11:12 - 11:14It goes across 10 different countries in the Middle East,
-
11:14 - 11:16because it unites them all."
-
11:16 - 11:18And so we studied the idea at Harvard.
-
11:18 - 11:20We did our due diligence.
-
11:20 - 11:22And then a few years ago, a group of us,
-
11:22 - 11:24about 25 of us from about 10 different countries,
-
11:24 - 11:26decided to see if we could retrace the footsteps of Abraham,
-
11:26 - 11:29going from his initial birthplace in the city of Urfa
-
11:29 - 11:32in Southern Turkey, Northern Mesopotamia.
-
11:32 - 11:35And we then took a bus and took some walks
-
11:35 - 11:37and went to Harran,
-
11:37 - 11:40where, in the Bible, he sets off on his journey.
-
11:40 - 11:42Then we crossed the border into Syria, went to Aleppo,
-
11:42 - 11:44which, turns out, is named after Abraham.
-
11:44 - 11:46We went to Damascus,
-
11:46 - 11:48which has a long history associated with Abraham.
-
11:48 - 11:51We then came to Northern Jordan,
-
11:51 - 11:53to Jerusalem,
-
11:53 - 11:56which is all about Abraham, to Bethlehem,
-
11:56 - 11:58and finally to the place where he's buried
-
11:58 - 12:00in Hebron.
-
12:00 - 12:02So effectively, we went from womb to tomb.
-
12:02 - 12:05We showed it could be done. It was an amazing journey.
-
12:05 - 12:07Let me ask you a question.
-
12:07 - 12:09How many of you have had the experience
-
12:09 - 12:11of being in a strange neighborhood,
-
12:11 - 12:13or strange land,
-
12:13 - 12:16and a total stranger, perfect stranger,
-
12:16 - 12:19comes up to you and shows you some kindness,
-
12:19 - 12:21maybe invites you into their home, gives you a drink,
-
12:21 - 12:23gives you a coffee, gives you a meal?
-
12:23 - 12:25How many of you have ever had that experience?
-
12:25 - 12:27That's the essence
-
12:27 - 12:29of the Abraham path.
-
12:29 - 12:31But that's what you discover, is you go into these villages in the Middle East
-
12:31 - 12:33where you expect hostility,
-
12:33 - 12:35and you get the most amazing hospitality,
-
12:35 - 12:37all associated with Abraham.
-
12:37 - 12:39"In the name of father Abraham,
-
12:39 - 12:41let me offer you some food."
-
12:41 - 12:43So what we discovered
-
12:43 - 12:46is that Abraham is not just a figure out of a book for those people.
-
12:46 - 12:49He's alive; he's a living presence.
-
12:49 - 12:51And to make a long story short,
-
12:51 - 12:53in the last couple of years now,
-
12:53 - 12:55thousands of people
-
12:55 - 12:57have begun to walk parts of the path of Abraham
-
12:57 - 12:59in the Middle East,
-
12:59 - 13:02enjoying the hospitality of the people there.
-
13:02 - 13:04They've begun to walk
-
13:04 - 13:06in Israel and Palestine,
-
13:06 - 13:08in Jordan, in Turkey, in Syria.
-
13:08 - 13:10It's an amazing experience.
-
13:10 - 13:12Men, women, young people, old people --
-
13:12 - 13:15more women than men, actually, interestingly.
-
13:15 - 13:17For those who can't walk,
-
13:17 - 13:19who are unable to get there right now,
-
13:19 - 13:21people started to organize walks
-
13:21 - 13:23in cities, in their own communities.
-
13:23 - 13:25In Cincinnati, for instance, that organized a walk
-
13:25 - 13:27from a church to a mosque to a synagogue
-
13:27 - 13:29and all had an Abrahamic meal together.
-
13:29 - 13:31It was Abraham Path Day.
-
13:31 - 13:33In Sao Paulo, Brazil, it's become an annual event
-
13:33 - 13:35for thousands of people to run
-
13:35 - 13:37in a virtual Abraham Path Run,
-
13:37 - 13:39uniting the different communities.
-
13:39 - 13:42The media love it; they really adore it.
-
13:42 - 13:44They lavish attention on it
-
13:44 - 13:46because it's visual,
-
13:46 - 13:48and it spreads the idea,
-
13:48 - 13:50this idea of Abrahamic hospitality
-
13:50 - 13:52of kindness towards strangers.
-
13:52 - 13:54And just a couple weeks ago,
-
13:54 - 13:56there was an NPR story on it.
-
13:56 - 13:58Last month,
-
13:58 - 14:00there was a piece in the Guardian,
-
14:00 - 14:03in the Manchester Guardian, about it --
-
14:03 - 14:06two whole pages.
-
14:06 - 14:09And they quoted a villager
-
14:09 - 14:12who said, "This walk connects us to the world."
-
14:12 - 14:15He said it was like a light that went on in our lives.
-
14:15 - 14:17It brought us hope.
-
14:17 - 14:19And so that's what it's about.
-
14:19 - 14:22But it's not just about psychology;
-
14:22 - 14:24it's about economics,
-
14:24 - 14:26because as people walk they spend money.
-
14:26 - 14:29And this woman right here, Um Ahmad,
-
14:29 - 14:32is a woman who lives on a path in Northern Jordan.
-
14:32 - 14:34She's desperately poor.
-
14:34 - 14:37She's partially blind, her husband can't work,
-
14:37 - 14:40she's got seven kids.
-
14:40 - 14:42But what she can do is cook,
-
14:42 - 14:45and so she's begun to cook for some groups of walkers
-
14:45 - 14:48who come through the village and have a meal in her home.
-
14:48 - 14:50They sit on the floor.
-
14:50 - 14:52She doesn't even have a tablecloth.
-
14:52 - 14:54She makes the most delicious food
-
14:54 - 14:57that's fresh from the herbs in the surrounding countryside.
-
14:57 - 14:59And so more and more walkers have come,
-
14:59 - 15:01and lately she's begun to earn an income
-
15:01 - 15:03to support her family.
-
15:03 - 15:06And so she told our team there, she said,
-
15:06 - 15:09"You have made me visible
-
15:09 - 15:11in a village where people were once ashamed
-
15:11 - 15:13to look at me."
-
15:13 - 15:16That's the potential of the Abraham path.
-
15:16 - 15:18There are literally hundreds of those kinds of communities
-
15:18 - 15:21across the Middle East, across the path.
-
15:22 - 15:25The potential is basically to change the game.
-
15:25 - 15:27And to change the game, you have to change the frame,
-
15:27 - 15:29the way we see things --
-
15:29 - 15:31to change the frame
-
15:31 - 15:34from hostility to hospitality,
-
15:34 - 15:37from terrorism to tourism.
-
15:37 - 15:39And in that sense, the Abraham path
-
15:39 - 15:41is a game-changer.
-
15:41 - 15:43Let me just show you one thing.
-
15:43 - 15:45I have a little acorn here
-
15:45 - 15:47that I picked up while I was walking on the path
-
15:47 - 15:49earlier this year.
-
15:49 - 15:51Now the acorn is associated with the oak tree, of course --
-
15:51 - 15:53grows into an oak tree,
-
15:53 - 15:55which is associated with Abraham.
-
15:55 - 15:57The path right now is like an acorn;
-
15:57 - 15:59it's still in its early phase.
-
15:59 - 16:01What would the oak tree look like?
-
16:01 - 16:03Well I think back to my childhood,
-
16:03 - 16:05a good part of which I spent, after being born here in Chicago,
-
16:05 - 16:07I spent in Europe.
-
16:07 - 16:09If you had been
-
16:09 - 16:11in the ruins of, say, London
-
16:11 - 16:14in 1945, or Berlin,
-
16:14 - 16:16and you had said,
-
16:16 - 16:18"Sixty years from now,
-
16:18 - 16:20this is going to be the most peaceful, prosperous part of the planet,"
-
16:20 - 16:22people would have thought
-
16:22 - 16:24you were certifiably insane.
-
16:24 - 16:28But they did it thanks to a common identity -- Europe --
-
16:28 - 16:30and a common economy.
-
16:30 - 16:33So my question is, if it can be done in Europe,
-
16:33 - 16:35why not in the Middle East?
-
16:35 - 16:37Why not, thanks to a common identity,
-
16:37 - 16:39which is the story of Abraham,
-
16:39 - 16:41and thanks to a common economy
-
16:41 - 16:44that would be based in good part on tourism?
-
16:45 - 16:47So let me conclude then
-
16:47 - 16:50by saying that in the last 35 years,
-
16:50 - 16:52as I've worked
-
16:52 - 16:54in some of the most dangerous, difficult and intractable
-
16:54 - 16:56conflicts around the planet,
-
16:56 - 16:59I have yet to see one conflict
-
16:59 - 17:02that I felt could not be transformed.
-
17:02 - 17:04It's not easy, of course,
-
17:04 - 17:06but it's possible.
-
17:06 - 17:08It was done in South Africa.
-
17:08 - 17:10It was done in Northern Ireland.
-
17:10 - 17:12It could be done anywhere.
-
17:12 - 17:14It simply depends on us.
-
17:14 - 17:17It depends on us taking the third side.
-
17:17 - 17:19So let me invite you
-
17:19 - 17:21to consider taking the third side,
-
17:21 - 17:23even as a very small step.
-
17:23 - 17:25We're about to take a break in a moment.
-
17:25 - 17:27Just go up to someone
-
17:27 - 17:30who's from a different culture, a different country,
-
17:30 - 17:32a different ethnicity, some difference,
-
17:32 - 17:35and engage them in a conversation; listen to them.
-
17:35 - 17:37That's a third side act.
-
17:37 - 17:39That's walking Abraham's path.
-
17:39 - 17:41After a TEDTalk,
-
17:41 - 17:43why not a TEDWalk?
-
17:43 - 17:45So let me just leave you
-
17:45 - 17:47with three things.
-
17:47 - 17:50One is, the secret to peace
-
17:50 - 17:53is the third side.
-
17:53 - 17:55The third side is us.
-
17:55 - 17:57Each of us,
-
17:57 - 17:59with a single step,
-
17:59 - 18:02can take the world, can bring the world
-
18:02 - 18:05a step closer to peace.
-
18:05 - 18:07There's an old African proverb that goes:
-
18:07 - 18:09"When spider webs unite,
-
18:09 - 18:12they can halt even the lion."
-
18:12 - 18:14If we're able to unite
-
18:14 - 18:16our third-side webs of peace,
-
18:16 - 18:19we can even halt the lion of war.
-
18:19 - 18:21Thank you very much.
-
18:21 - 18:23(Applause)
- Title:
- The walk from "no" to "yes"
- Speaker:
- William Ury
- Description:
-
William Ury, author of "Getting to Yes," offers an elegant, simple (but not easy) way to create agreement in even the most difficult situations -- from family conflict to, perhaps, the Middle East.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDTalks
- Duration:
- 18:24
Krystian Aparta commented on English subtitles for The walk from "no" to "yes" | ||
Krystian Aparta edited English subtitles for The walk from "no" to "yes" | ||
Krystian Aparta edited English subtitles for The walk from "no" to "yes" | ||
TED edited English subtitles for The walk from "no" to "yes" | ||
TED added a translation |
Krystian Aparta
The English transcript was updated on 11/9/2015.