2018 12 09 LH EN 11th 12th training of the OI br Pháp Lai

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Good morning

dear Thay dear sangha, Today is the 9th,
Sunday, the 9th of December, 2018.

We are in the Assembly of Stars
meditation hall in Lower Hamlet,

and this is the last of the Dharma talks

before the end of our three month
retreat together .

So I feel a special sense of

speaking to that.

Most of us have been here
for the three month retreat together.

We've been

those of you who came

to Plum Village for three months
have experienced

going through ups and downs.

And maybe,

some of the time you wondered,
'Why did I come?'

I don't know. Excuse me.

It's a loud blow.

(Laughter)

Maybe you felt, 'Yeah, I'd be better off

in a cave somewhere'.

Maybe in the Pole, or somewhere,

in some mountain.

When we practice together,
we really

have to meet each other,

and get along together.

If we don't get along together,

because we are living together 24/7,

it really shows up.
It is difficult to stay calm and to enjoy.

So actually, a lot of the practice that
you've been learning these three months

is how to live in harmony,
how to get along.

How to practice loving speech,

but also you have to communicate
when there is a difficulty,

but with loving speech.

How to let go

of your preference
and maybe of your irritation.

How to see the other person
is also suffering.

Maybe see that

try to understand them
so you can let go of judgment.

And we have practices, like Beginning Anew
that we do regularly.

We do that formally, we sit down

and practice expressing gratitude,
noticing the good things in each other,

and also expressing when we have a regret
towards each other.

It is very renewing practice.

We had - It is also,
we call it the season of Shining Light.

So because we see each other,

we are rooming together, eating together,
working together,

we see each other and we have
something called the sangha eye.

Because, ourselves, if we are just
practising alone,

there is a number of things that we miss
from practising in a community.

One is that because
we are not interacting,

things don't maybe come up
in the same way.

So when we are interacting we get to see
ourselves,

but also we have blind spots.

And so the it's very helpful for us,
for the people we trust,

we open ourselves up,
we allow ourselves to be

open to receiving their view about us.

And that view is expressed
with all of the love and appreciation also

for the whole of us
not just pointing to the difficulty.

So we also practice this
in the three months retreat,

shining light on each other's practice,

in order to help the other person
have more freedom,

more growth in themselves,
and more happiness.

Sometimes it can be a bit scary

to allow ourselves

to have people share like that.

I've known people run away.

But when they allow themselves to
they only experience the love.

I'm sure there are
some exceptions to that.

Sometimes people can get hurt also,
and then we also have compassion

that we are learning the practice.

So living together is
a practice in itself.

And in a sense, it is -

you can say that
learning to live together,

learning to get along is also the fruit
of the practice.

Thay has said, brotherhood, sisterhood,
there is no religion

that is higher than that.

So we are generating
brotherhood and sisterhood.

We are going in that spirit.

There was a Harvard study

done, it was one of the longest ever
studies, 75 years.

It is still going on, I think.

And they interview
and get also self-information

from standardised groups of men
in the States.

Essentially the point is that

they were looking to see
what are the conditions

for happiness and health

looking right through the life.

And what they found was
if you want to know

what makes a happy octogenarian,
that means, if you are 80 years or over,

because these groups they've been
following since they were boys,

and now they are in their 80's.

You look back when they are 50 years old,
which is my age,

you can determine whether

the conditions that seem to be common,

like the ones that are happy,
the ones that are healthy,

the result is only one factor.

It is not how much cholesterol
in the blood,

it is not many things you might think,

but the one factor that comes out

is those people report that they have
good relationships.

Relationships they can trust.

And that seems to be

an essential requisite for a happy life.

So in community,we are blessed with having
.many deep connections to each other.

There is a lot of trust of each other
in the community,

which allows us to be open,
and allows us to be

free to express.

And, of course, relationships,

when we talk about relationships,

what came to my mind when I
heard about this study is,

what about the relationship
we have to ourselves?

Do we trust ourselves?

This must also be important.

And the relationship we have to society,
to Mother Earth.

This must also count
as a relationship.

And it is also clear
we know from our experience

That to the extend that we are
in a good relationship with ourselves,

our relationship with others goes well.

And when our relationship with ourselves
is not so good,

we find, things seem
to get reflected to us.

The sangha is like a hall of mirrors.
We keep seeing ourselves reflected.

So when we have a difficult interaction,

it's always helpful to ask
what is going on in me

that is connected with
that difficult interaction,

as well as, you know,
because there is a tendency maybe

to blame or put it on the other person.

We may see interesting things
when we do that.

We may see that,

'Ah! This reaction I had in the meeting,
or in this interaction,

brought about
quite a strong emotion in me.

It seems a bit more than,

kind of disproportionated
to what actually happened.

Why did I get so angry?

Why did I feel so anxious?'

I myself found myself in a situation
where some anxiety and fear came,

and it started actually that anger.

I was,

I was feeling somehow slightly let down
about something, and then

this anxiety came.
And I ask the question to myself,

what does this remind me of?

I should ask it to my store consciousness.
What does this remind me of?

I just waited for something to come,

and I suddenly had an image of myself
in kindergarten.

A memory that I didn't have before.

It is not one I could remember,
but it's suddenly a flash

of waiting to be picked up.

But my mother was late that day.

And there was a fear in me, I guess.
And it was amazing how that

I made the connection just
by asking that question.

So it allowed me to, just having
that interaction with the other person

allowed me to touch something
that needed healing.

And the healing is maybe a continuous

path of healing that we are on.

We are not going to heal
everything overnight,

or with one insight.

But we, each time we have a small healing,
we get more energy and more confidence.

And we feel, wow!
Okay, this is a good path.

And actually,

just understanding ourselves,

understanding that this is
where it is coming from,

in a sense it can help so much

knowing that we have a practice
that also embraces

ourselves in that moment,

embraces maybe the little boy,
the little girl in us,

when we see that coming up,

we recognize that there is
some suffering there relating to that age

when we were very young,

we have the opportunity to embrace,
to smile and with our solidity,

that we generate through the practice,
we can breathe with that emotion.

So knowing we have a path,

we have a lot of kind of

we have happiness and we have
a sense that the suffering

doesn't need to be so much now,

because the biggest suffering
is not having a way, having a path.

So we have a lot of gratitude also
for having the practice.

Even before we've applied it, but when
we apply it, and we get the experience,

every time we are so grateful.

I also had an opportunity in this winter,
this three month retreat,

we don't call it the winter retreat now
because for the very first time

is more the autumn period. I also had
an experience this three month retreat

of connecting with my 14 year old in me.

And, yeah. At that time
when he felt very isolated

and not enjoying school,
and feeling

pretty in a bit of a hostile environment
he found.

And I knew, I know about this time, and I
know t somehow shows up in my interactions

but I took sometime to try to talk
with the boy. And he showed up.

And I, he said,

he asked, I asked, 'Would you like
to spend time with me?

Now I'm an adult'. And he said,
'You are too busy'.

(Laughter)

'You got too many things going on.

And I cause you
all sorts of problems anyway,

so I don't want to cause you
any more problems.

I don't want to take up your time.'

It was very fascinating
to hear this response.

And actually, it gave me quite
some insight into myself.

Because, of course, that is part of me.

So I share that because

it is part of our journey
that we are on to

heal all the parts of ourselves.

Inside as well as outside.
Inside we also have a kind of sangha.

Different voices.

And we also need to bring harmony to
those different voices inside ourselves.

But when I was deciding to become a monk,

I remember

the Dharma teacher
from the UK Martin Pitt,

he gave me that advice, he said,
'In making the decision,

check with your internal sangha, and
make sure everybody -'

So it's a real sangha, a real decision.

Because there are
these many voices in you.

Some other voices of doubt,
I had to say, 'Please, I hear you, but

we've touched something deeper
than doubt at this moment',

and the doubt had to agree.

The Christians say, the doubting Thomas.

So,

isn't a fascinating journey, isn't it?
The spiritual path.

And we do it together.

And somehow, being together as a community
brings so much joy and insight,

it is so rich.

Some others are going away,
going back to the real world.

I always find slightly ironic
to use that term,

because it seems like out
in the real world

is where people are busy, very busy,
running away from reality.

Whereas the idea here in Plum Village
is we touch reality

within us and in nature.

But we go back out, and
we want to maintain our practice.

One of the things we need to draw on is
the connections we made here,

to keep them in our heart, and know

when we think we are isolated,
and all around out there,

remember that is not true.
Because the connections we make

that are real,

they are not subject to dissolving simply
because we are in a different place,

they are non local.

So we always remember
the sangha has our back.

They are behind us.

People visualize it in different ways.

Connected with the Harvard study
I mentioned,

loneliness is the biggest killer. That is
a medical fact, that loneliness kills.

And we are so blessed that we don't -

We have so many conditions
to not be lonely

through the practice of
being there for ourselves,

and learning how to be there with
other people and the connections we make.

The relationships we make.

Because even you can be in a relationship,
you can be in a family,

you can be with many people,
but, as the 14 year old boy,

in a boarding school,
lots and lots of people.

They are not dissimilar to Plum Village's.
Living in a dormitory,

sharing rooms. But I felt isolated
and lonely at that particular time.

So it's not exactly
that you are next to people

that you don't feel lonely.

It can also be that you can feel lonely
even in Plum Village.

Again, if you

somehow are not in good relationship
with what is going on in you.

And in those cases, where
that is happening in Plum Village,

the encouragement is to stay.

And you may feel
you don't have

your smile anymore.

I'll always remember reading

Thay saying,
'The dandelion keeps your smile.'

You know, the flower you see all alone,
it has your smile for you.

And like so in the sangha we can feel

not doing well, but we should try
to become aware

that there is a lot of love

and care. People are giving us space,
but they care.

And sometimes the care comes
in a way we don't want,

maybe somebody comes into our space,
and tries to shake us up a bit.

And we don't want that.

Maybe it wasn't so skilful of them.

But nevertheless we can recognize it
as good intention, as care.

So we may have taken different themes
for this three month period,

as well. I know some of the brothers in
Upper Hamlet were studying the Anapanasati

for instance.

Some brothers were studying
the 40 tenets of Plum Village.

The Manifestation Only teachings
was one subject I was engaged with.

And I think many other topics.
But them all, somehow,

connect to the same point

of how to come into relationship
with myself, to be there,

and really understand what is going on
in my body, in my mind.

And see my nature of interbeing.

And Thay has said that even just
practising the first 4 of the Anapanasati,

awareness of the breath,
awareness of the body,

we touch all of the other aspects,

because of the nature of interbeing.

So in connection when we are
just aware of our body,

as we really realize that,
oh, here is my body

and I'm really get to be in my body,

experiencing it with the breath,

I also naturally become aware
of my feelings.

They are part of what is going on,

and there is a correspondence in the body.

And also mental formations,

perceptions and consciousness.

I remember,

yes, we'll have one sound of the bell.
Thank you.

(Bell)

(Bell)

I was just reflecting

that one of the earliest winter retreat

I can recall, I can't remember
specifically which one it was,

but Thay said at the very opening talk
of the retreat,

'This retreat as an opportunity

and we should practice to be there
for every mental formation

as it arises.'

And this was,

I just remember being astounded
by the possibility of that.

Every mental formation that will arise,
I will be there,

and embrace, and take care, and recognize.

And I guess that was
a very wonderful thing to set

as an aim for myself.

To try to be there for what is going on.

Always being aware
what mental formations come and go

and watching the impermanence of them,

and watching them in relation to
what is happening in me,

around me.

And in my interactions.

But we sometimes get forgetful and lost,
so just like on the cushion,

we recognize and
we have to keep coming back.

One of the themes
of the three month retreat

has been the 14 mindfulness trainings.

And the ones that were left to me
to share about

were concerning

right compassion and action, it has to do
with right livelihood, reverence for life

and generosity.

So it is 11, 12 and 13.

The 14 mindfulness trainings,

Thay wrote then in 1964.

And it seems to me
they are as relevant today

as they could ever had been.

They were written
in the time of the Vietnam War.

And they have been revised.

So we try to make them more and more
relevant and skilful, appropriate

to our time and with the insight
that we have.

Ethics

is a big subject, and in a sense,

the trainings, be they
the 5 mindfulness trainings or the 14,

they are a contribution to what we hope
is a good contributions to a global ethic.

And they don't need to be

religious or include Buddhist -

Kind of, things specific to Buddhism.

They can be put into the language that
is for anybody can feel comfortable with.

But hopefully, they are universal.

They speak to the universal.

And they are about

they are about love,

they are about the actions
and interactions

that come about when we are

coming from a place of true love.

True love we know
has a number of ingredients.

True love has brotherhood and sisterhood,

kindness in it, loving kindness.

It has that friendship element.

Spiritual friendship,
being there for each other.

True love also has compassion.

We really can have empathy
for the other person,

but we don't get overwhelmed
by the suffering,

so we can truly be there.

Even when somebody is suffering,
we can maintain our stability

and be there for that person
and help them.

True love also has joy.

Without joy, we can () so ().

Joy is something very important.

And it arises
from unusual places sometimes.

Sometimes it is the joy that comes
when we are able to

be there with our suffering in such a way
that we think, oh!

This is a kind of joy,
because I get to be with -

I'm in the most important place,
where I need to be.

And there is a sort of
underlying joy to that,

even though you are maybe
experiencing the suffering.

So I'm using that example to show
joy doesn't always show up,

it's not always what we think
in terms of excitement, joy,

although expressions of joy and smiles
is also

very good.

I said to a brother before I came
to the talk this morning,

'I need to have a laugh before I go.'
I need to generate that joyful energy.

Sometimes we need to -

Sometimes I think of something funny
just to generate that joy.

But the real joy coming from friendship,

from insight,
from our mindfulness practice,

that is a very deep kind of joy.
And we need that.

And then there is inclusiveness.

We include all that is in us and
we take care of what is going on,

but we don't set up
an internal battle field.

So even we see part of ourselves
is seemingly

causing us suffering, maybe
doing something which brings us -

makes us feel ashamed,
or it is a bad habit,

or we've spoken to somebody in a bad way,

we somehow have to still have compassion
for that part of us too, and say,

Okay, I accept.

I accept everything that is there,
I love and accept myself just as I am.

I know that there are
causes and conditions

for why it is like this right now.
Maybe I'm frustrated with myself.

I also accept my frustration with myself.
Okay, I'm frustrated with myself.

So whatever is there, you say, Okay,
I get it. If you are there,

you are there for a reason.
And I accept you.

It doesn't mean we have to be
again overwhelmed, or pushed,

but we accept and we smile to that.
An d we try to generate stability

so we can be with that part of ourselves
without being carried away.

And so too with our relationships
with other people,

and when we get frustrated and upset
with other people,

to have this capacity to include and
to stay with, to be there for each other.

And there is

in the Discourse on Love, we are invited
to extend our love to all beings

across the entire cosmos.
It's very grand.

A new chant that Thay Phap Linh
has been doing with a group of us

is on the CD, a new chanting CD.

I'm very embarrassed with the video
they made to go with that, by the way.

I don't know if anybody saw it, but
I got very self-conscious seeing myself,

To look like very, very sincere.

Anyway, on this chant,

there is the line,
'showing love and concern for

as for our very own family'.

So bringing that spirit of
being concerned for

anybody we meet

as if they were our own family.
That is the spirit.

And it's not totally beyond our capacity.

We know when we are in a good place
we can have that openness of heart.

There is a quote I heard about

a husband whose wife came back
after being on a Buddhist retreat.

And the husband was asked, 'Sorry,
have you seen any change in your wife

since she came back? - Yes, she is in love
with the whole universe,

but nobody in particular.'

(Laughter)

And I think that ment

we have to be careful to just be
in this place of thinking about

the grand love for everything, but then
we don't actually apply it to

what is this relationship
going on right now.

Yes, I can't deal with this one, but,

(Laughter)

I love - I feel so much for
all the suffering in the world,

but I can't deal with you.

So that is also why a sangha is important.

We meet the - It is where the rubber hits
the world, hits the real, we rub it.

The expression is, the chopsticks we use,
to clean chopsticks

you get a bunch
and you rub them all together,

rub and then clean them individually.

It is a good image.

Yes, I was going to share something.

I have emailed Christiana Figueres.

She is the lady
that brought together 195 countries

for the Paris Climate Change Agreement.
Do you remember her?

She has been to Plum Village
quite a few times,

and she has spoken quite a few times
to young Wake Up groups

that were here
when we had a Wake Up retreats.

She has come with her daughter.

And she loves Plum Village.

But when she was doing the work,

I emailed her to just check
if she was Okay that I share this story.

Because when she was
in the middle of her work

of bringing together these countries

for the Paris, they call it,

is it COP 21? Yes.

COP 24 is going on right now in Poland.

So it is a momentous thing
that she achieved, and it sets,

gave everybody quite a sense of Okay,

at least these countries coming together,

there is a certain sangha harmony
in the world to take climate change

as an issue to really do something.
And it was a great start that was -

In all of the other previous times,
we couldn't get to the starting block.

So it was a wonderful thing
she was able to achieve,

and she did it with Thay's teachings.
And she practised listening.

She said that was the main factor
that helped to get to that.

This listening to really understanding
what was the situation,

what was the obstacles
for these countries,

be they Saudi Arabia, China, etcetera.

But there was a period in that build up
of five years leading up to

2015 Paris,

when she had a crisis,
a personal crisis.

And she was in Bonn at that time,
in Germany,

and she somehow, miraculously
found out about Plum Village.

She knew nothing before
about Plum Village.

And she knew she needed to go somewhere.
She was very, very -

Yeah, in a crisis.

And she found the EIAB,
our centre in Germany, it was close enough

and she made an emergency booking.

And she just went.

Nobody knew who she was.
She said to us that it saved her.

It really saved her.

And that the Vietnamese sisters,
with their kindness, that were there,

she was staying in the sister's place,
they don't know what they did for me.

They didn't know who I was. She is a
retreatant. What else do you need to know?

It's probably good sometimes
we don't know who is here.

I may get scared.

(Laughter)

But it-

So just the simple kindness,
and the joy,

was enough to support and
get her back into a good place.