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2018 12 09 LH EN 11th 12th training of the OI br Pháp Lai

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    Good morning
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    dear Thay dear sangha, Today is the 9th,
    Sunday, the 9th of December, 2018.
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    We are in the Assembly of Stars
    meditation hall in Lower Hamlet,
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    and this is the last of the Dharma talks
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    before the end of our three month
    retreat together .
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    So I feel a special sense of
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    speaking to that.
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    Most of us have been here
    for the three month retreat together.
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    We've been
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    those of you who came
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    to Plum Village for three months
    have experienced
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    going through ups and downs.
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    And maybe,
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    some of the time you wondered,
    'Why did I come?'
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    I don't know. Excuse me.
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    It's a loud blow.
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    (Laughter)
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    Maybe you felt, 'Yeah, I'd be better off
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    in a cave somewhere'.
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    Maybe in the Pole, or somewhere,
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    in some mountain.
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    When we practice together,
    we really
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    have to meet each other,
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    and get along together.
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    If we don't get along together,
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    because we are living together 24/7,
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    it really shows up.
    It is difficult to stay calm and to enjoy.
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    So actually, a lot of the practice that
    you've been learning these three months
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    is how to live in harmony,
    how to get along.
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    How to practice loving speech,
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    but also you have to communicate
    when there is a difficulty,
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    but with loving speech.
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    How to let go
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    of your preference
    and maybe of your irritation.
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    How to see the other person
    is also suffering.
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    Maybe see that
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    try to understand them
    so you can let go of judgment.
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    And we have practices, like Beginning Anew
    that we do regularly.
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    We do that formally, we sit down
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    and practice expressing gratitude,
    noticing the good things in each other,
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    and also expressing when we have a regret
    towards each other.
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    It is very renewing practice.
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    We had - It is also,
    we call it the season of Shining Light.
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    So because we see each other,
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    we are rooming together, eating together,
    working together,
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    we see each other and we have
    something called the sangha eye.
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    Because, ourselves, if we are just
    practising alone,
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    there is a number of things that we miss
    from practising in a community.
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    One is that because
    we are not interacting,
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    things don't maybe come up
    in the same way.
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    So when we are interacting we get to see
    ourselves,
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    but also we have blind spots.
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    And so the it's very helpful for us,
    for the people we trust,
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    we open ourselves up,
    we allow ourselves to be
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    open to receiving their view about us.
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    And that view is expressed
    with all of the love and appreciation also
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    for the whole of us
    not just pointing to the difficulty.
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    So we also practice this
    in the three months retreat,
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    shining light on each other's practice,
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    in order to help the other person
    have more freedom,
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    more growth in themselves,
    and more happiness.
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    Sometimes it can be a bit scary
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    to allow ourselves
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    to have people share like that.
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    I've known people run away.
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    But when they allow themselves to
    they only experience the love.
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    I'm sure there are
    some exceptions to that.
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    Sometimes people can get hurt also,
    and then we also have compassion
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    that we are learning the practice.
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    So living together is
    a practice in itself.
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    And in a sense, it is -
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    you can say that
    learning to live together,
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    learning to get along is also the fruit
    of the practice.
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    Thay has said, brotherhood, sisterhood,
    there is no religion
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    that is higher than that.
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    So we are generating
    brotherhood and sisterhood.
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    We are going in that spirit.
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    There was a Harvard study
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    done, it was one of the longest ever
    studies, 75 years.
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    It is still going on, I think.
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    And they interview
    and get also self-information
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    from standardised groups of men
    in the States.
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    Essentially the point is that
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    they were looking to see
    what are the conditions
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    for happiness and health
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    looking right through the life.
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    And what they found was
    if you want to know
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    what makes a happy octogenarian,
    that means, if you are 80 years or over,
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    because these groups they've been
    following since they were boys,
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    and now they are in their 80's.
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    You look back when they are 50 years old,
    which is my age,
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    you can determine whether
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    the conditions that seem to be common,
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    like the ones that are happy,
    the ones that are healthy,
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    the result is only one factor.
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    It is not how much cholesterol
    in the blood,
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    it is not many things you might think,
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    but the one factor that comes out
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    is those people report that they have
    good relationships.
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    Relationships they can trust.
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    And that seems to be
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    an essential requisite for a happy life.
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    So in community,we are blessed with having
    .many deep connections to each other.
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    There is a lot of trust of each other
    in the community,
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    which allows us to be open,
    and allows us to be
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    free to express.
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    And, of course, relationships,
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    when we talk about relationships,
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    what came to my mind when I
    heard about this study is,
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    what about the relationship
    we have to ourselves?
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    Do we trust ourselves?
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    This must also be important.
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    And the relationship we have to society,
    to Mother Earth.
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    This must also count
    as a relationship.
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    And it is also clear
    we know from our experience
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    That to the extend that we are
    in a good relationship with ourselves,
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    our relationship with others goes well.
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    And when our relationship with ourselves
    is not so good,
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    we find, things seem
    to get reflected to us.
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    The sangha is like a hall of mirrors.
    We keep seeing ourselves reflected.
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    So when we have a difficult interaction,
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    it's always helpful to ask
    what is going on in me
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    that is connected with
    that difficult interaction,
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    as well as, you know,
    because there is a tendency maybe
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    to blame or put it on the other person.
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    We may see interesting things
    when we do that.
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    We may see that,
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    'Ah! This reaction I had in the meeting,
    or in this interaction,
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    brought about
    quite a strong emotion in me.
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    It seems a bit more than,
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    kind of disproportionated
    to what actually happened.
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    Why did I get so angry?
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    Why did I feel so anxious?'
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    I myself found myself in a situation
    where some anxiety and fear came,
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    and it started actually that anger.
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    I was,
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    I was feeling somehow slightly let down
    about something, and then
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    this anxiety came.
    And I ask the question to myself,
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    what does this remind me of?
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    I should ask it to my store consciousness.
    What does this remind me of?
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    I just waited for something to come,
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    and I suddenly had an image of myself
    in kindergarten.
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    A memory that I didn't have before.
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    It is not one I could remember,
    but it's suddenly a flash
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    of waiting to be picked up.
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    But my mother was late that day.
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    And there was a fear in me, I guess.
    And it was amazing how that
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    I made the connection just
    by asking that question.
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    So it allowed me to, just having
    that interaction with the other person
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    allowed me to touch something
    that needed healing.
Title:
2018 12 09 LH EN 11th 12th training of the OI br Pháp Lai
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Video Language:
English
Duration:
01:24:23

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