Comedian asks: What's the definition of "terrorism"? - SHD.ca

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Sean Devlin, standup, 4:37

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Have you noticed how they're
talking about terrorism a lot?

Yeah.

I just find it confusing
'cause I don't know what the word means.

And I looked at the news to try to learn.

And one of the journalists asked
one of the Conservative ministers,

this guy Peter MacKay,
who used to be in charge of the army.

They were like "what is
the governments definition of terrorism?"

And he said "Look it up."

Uhhhhh... OK.

So I did, and in the Oxford dictionary

the definition of terrorism is

the un-authorized or un-official use of violence
in pursuit of political aims.

Un-official or un-authorized.

I didn't realize that these terrorists,
their real problem

was that they're not doin' the right paperwork?

But I actually wanted to know,

so I found another document that was online,

and it was released by CSIS, our spy agency,
that they're trying to give more powers to,

and some journalists a couple years ago

made them release this internal document

where they listed all the terror threats in Canada,

all the different kinds of people
who might do terrorism.

And I want to read you the actual excerpt
from the document right now.

The only group that didn't qualify
as a terrorist threat

was the neo-Nazi
and white supremacist groups.

Let's hear them out.

Um, this is from the document,
I didn't change any of this.

"The majority of individuals
involved in this milieu in Canada"

Milieu.

That's a bit generous.

I guess... these are like Nazis...

kinda like Impressionist painters,

and they're hangin' out in a cafe,
just talkin' about their ideas.

"The majority of individuals
involved in this milieu in Canada"

hold strong racist anti-immigration views, BUT!

do not overly propose serious acts of violence."

I don't know what that means.

"For example, they may organize
anti-immigration poster campaigns,

or harass Aboriginals and visible minorities."

Um, just to be clear, when they say harass,

they're not talking about, like, y'know, white
supremacists drinkin' a lot of soda at a sleepover

and then like prank calling some people of colour.

Sayin' like "hey, how's that uh makin' 81 cents
for every dollar that white people make. mahahaa"

That's not what they were doing.

This is a real incident that they considered
when writing this report.

And actually happened just a few blocks from here,

I don't know if anyone remembers this.

A couple years ago there were these two
white supremacists at a house party.

As they left the party, they saw
a Filipino man sleeping on a couch.

And they lit him on fire.

OK there's some heads shaking,
there's no laughter,

that's good, you're passing a test right now.

They lit him on fire.

And as it said here they "do not
overly propose serious acts of violence."

I don't know how you more overly propose
something than actually doing it.