Scenes from a Black trans life
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0:05 - 0:06Hello.
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0:06 - 0:08Hey.
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0:08 - 0:09(Laughter)
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0:09 - 0:11As you just heard,
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0:11 - 0:12my name is D-L Stewart,
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0:12 - 0:17and I'm a faculty member here on campus
at Colorado State University. -
0:17 - 0:20But what's most important
for you to understand about me right now -
0:20 - 0:23is that I identify as both Black
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0:23 - 0:25and as transgender, or trans.
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0:26 - 0:30And yes, I'm going to talk to you today
about how Black trans lives matter. -
0:31 - 0:32As I do so,
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0:32 - 0:35I'm going to share
a few scenes from my own life, -
0:35 - 0:37mixed in with the ways
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0:37 - 0:43that race and gender have historically
and currently intersected -
0:43 - 0:46to shape the lives of Black trans people.
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0:47 - 0:48Ready?
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0:48 - 0:50Audience: Ready.
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0:50 - 0:51DLS: Scene one.
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0:52 - 0:54I am at home with myself.
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0:55 - 0:58My body, a sovereign country.
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0:58 - 1:00Sovereign meaning
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1:00 - 1:02it is superlative in quality.
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1:03 - 1:06Of the most exalted kind.
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1:06 - 1:11Having generalized curative powers
of an unqualified nature, -
1:11 - 1:13unmitigated,
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1:13 - 1:14paramount,
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1:14 - 1:17possessed of supreme power,
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1:17 - 1:20unlimited in extent, absolute.
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1:20 - 1:22Enjoying autonomy,
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1:22 - 1:24independent,
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1:24 - 1:25royal.
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1:26 - 1:28My body defies the restrictions
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1:28 - 1:32of a society consumed
by boxes and binaries -
1:32 - 1:35and "are you a boy or a girl?"
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1:35 - 1:37Independent of such conventions,
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1:37 - 1:40my body clings instead
to the long ago lore -
1:40 - 1:42that understood its magic.
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1:42 - 1:45I contain multitudes.
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1:46 - 1:48From this supreme power to name myself,
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1:48 - 1:51define myself and be myself,
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1:51 - 1:54I stake a claim to myself
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1:54 - 1:56and organize my resistance.
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1:56 - 2:02A resistance that boldly proclaims
that Black trans lives matter. -
2:03 - 2:06My body is a sovereign country
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2:06 - 2:08and my first site of resistance.
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2:09 - 2:10End scene.
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2:12 - 2:17To say that Black trans lives matter
is a claim to sovereignty. -
2:19 - 2:23As much as Black Girl Magic,
and #transisbrilliant, -
2:23 - 2:27Black Trans Lives Matter
is also a chorus of resistance. -
2:28 - 2:32Because Black trans lives begin
by defining our bodies -
2:32 - 2:34as sovereign countries
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2:34 - 2:37from which we first begin
to resist the messages -
2:37 - 2:39that we have no place here.
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2:43 - 2:47We push whole movements forward
on the strength of our vision. -
2:48 - 2:51We set trends and create new worlds.
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2:52 - 2:54We are the vanguard.
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2:55 - 2:58Black trans lives have always mattered.
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2:58 - 3:00And yet,
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3:00 - 3:03caught at the time-traveling intersection
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3:03 - 3:06of Juneteenth emancipation celebration
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3:06 - 3:09and Stonewall's emancipation declaration,
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3:09 - 3:13Black trans lives
are both seen but yet unseen. -
3:14 - 3:19Unseen by the antiblackness
of queer and trans movements. -
3:19 - 3:23Unseen by the transphobia
and trans-antagonism of Black movements. -
3:25 - 3:27Our sovereignty and resistance are blocked
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3:27 - 3:30by layers of systems and structures
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3:30 - 3:32that have always sought
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3:32 - 3:37to contain, define and erase
Black trans bodies. -
3:39 - 3:41Scene two.
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3:42 - 3:44I am with my therapist.
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3:46 - 3:50The one whose testimony I must rely on
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3:50 - 3:54to declare me man enough
to have my documents changed. -
3:54 - 3:57The one who is to be believed.
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3:58 - 4:01Despite my own declarations
that I am not this body, -
4:01 - 4:05that this body is neither hers
nor yours to define, -
4:06 - 4:08I sit with this doctor.
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4:08 - 4:11And she fills out a form for me.
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4:11 - 4:14And when concerning what all I've done
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4:14 - 4:16to affirm my gender,
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4:18 - 4:21"Has the patient's gender presentation
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4:21 - 4:24aligned with their gender identity?"
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4:26 - 4:30She decides that my gender presentation
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4:30 - 4:32is more neutral, really.
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4:34 - 4:36While I sit there, mind you,
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4:36 - 4:39head to toe in clothing
from the section of the store -
4:39 - 4:42where the dress buttons
go down the right side, -
4:42 - 4:45and my pants give away
the number of inches around my waist, -
4:45 - 4:49and my hair is cut
like Denzel's "Man on Fire," -
4:49 - 4:51but I'm still more neutral.
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4:51 - 4:52Really?
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4:53 - 4:56Because she still sees,
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4:56 - 4:57and you see,
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4:57 - 4:59a Black woman.
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4:59 - 5:04And Black women's bodies
are always already made genderless. -
5:07 - 5:08End scene.
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5:10 - 5:12From mammy and Sapphire,
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5:12 - 5:15to Mandingo and Sambo,
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5:15 - 5:20Black bodies and our genders
have been caught in the white imagination. -
5:20 - 5:23And the imagination
of whiteness is fanciful, -
5:23 - 5:28and powerful enough
to turn its fancies into realities. -
5:28 - 5:30Imagined as a thing,
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5:30 - 5:32we were made to become that thing,
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5:32 - 5:36and so we have been bred like horses,
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5:36 - 5:39fed like turtles to alligators,
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5:39 - 5:40branded like cattle,
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5:40 - 5:42milked like sows,
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5:42 - 5:44made into oxen to plow.
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5:46 - 5:48Gender did not matter,
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5:48 - 5:50so long as our body parts,
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5:50 - 5:53our arms and legs and backs,
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5:53 - 5:54our breasts and genitalia
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5:54 - 5:56could be turned into profit.
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5:58 - 6:01The Black body was made not white
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6:01 - 6:03and therefore not worthy of gender.
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6:04 - 6:07And under the weight of the gentile tulle
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6:07 - 6:10and virginal lace that dressed
plantation mistresses, -
6:10 - 6:14Black femininity has always been denied.
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6:14 - 6:19Instead, she is either beast or porn star.
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6:19 - 6:22Neither a proper gender, dehumanized.
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6:24 - 6:28Made a social threat
that endangers civility. -
6:28 - 6:31That puts civilization in danger.
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6:32 - 6:36The angry Black woman cannot be escaped.
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6:36 - 6:39Not even by a first lady
of these United States. -
6:41 - 6:44Likewise, ill-suited for chivalry
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6:44 - 6:48and outmatched as masters
and captains of fate, -
6:48 - 6:50Black manhood lays flaccid
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6:50 - 6:52in the hands of white man's dominance.
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6:54 - 6:56Body measurements taken,
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6:56 - 6:58speed measured,
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6:58 - 7:01draft pick forecasted.
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7:01 - 7:03This is the NFL combine.
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7:05 - 7:07Body measurements taken,
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7:07 - 7:11teeth and body cavities inspected,
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7:11 - 7:13number assigned.
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7:13 - 7:15This is the prison intake room.
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7:17 - 7:19Body measurements taken,
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7:21 - 7:25talents and abilities advertised,
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7:25 - 7:29teeth and body cavities inspected,
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7:29 - 7:32name and value assigned.
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7:33 - 7:35This is a slave's bill of sale.
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7:38 - 7:42Made either stud or farce,
he is not for his own pleasure, -
7:42 - 7:45but rather for profit and jest.
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7:45 - 7:49Athletes and comics
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7:49 - 7:51contained.
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7:51 - 7:53Made not a threat.
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7:55 - 7:58"My gender is Black," said Hari Ziyad,
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7:58 - 8:02because Black bodies
and our genders have been caught -
8:02 - 8:03in the white imagination,
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8:03 - 8:06and we have always been transgressive.
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8:06 - 8:08Transgressive meaning
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8:08 - 8:15a violation of accepted and imposed
boundaries of social acceptability. -
8:15 - 8:18Blackness is transgressive.
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8:18 - 8:21And once set free
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8:21 - 8:23from social acceptability,
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8:23 - 8:28blackness challenges the limitations
of what gender can be. -
8:29 - 8:31We have always been fugitives here.
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8:33 - 8:35Escaping from gender surveillance
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8:35 - 8:37to claim our sovereignty
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8:37 - 8:40and right to exist and to live free,
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8:40 - 8:42to proclaim as beautiful
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8:42 - 8:44that which was made ugly,
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8:44 - 8:46to defy convention,
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8:46 - 8:52Black lives and trans lives
and Black trans lives. -
8:52 - 8:54And yet, in this world, that fact
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8:54 - 8:57that Black trans lives make a difference,
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8:57 - 8:59make differences
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8:59 - 9:03and make a matter of mattering
is doused by the fire hoses -
9:03 - 9:05of past and current denials
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9:05 - 9:08of our rights to exist and resist.
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9:09 - 9:11We must fight to be seen
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9:11 - 9:14as we see through fences
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9:14 - 9:17into the play yards
that we are kept out of. -
9:19 - 9:21Scene three.
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9:21 - 9:23I am at school.
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9:23 - 9:26The bell rings, it's recess.
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9:26 - 9:28We line up to go outside.
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9:28 - 9:31Those made boys on one side,
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9:31 - 9:33those made girls on the other.
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9:34 - 9:36We file out of the doors.
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9:36 - 9:40The boys stopping
to fill in the closed off street. -
9:40 - 9:42The girls and I,
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9:42 - 9:44walking across the street.
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9:44 - 9:47"Keep your eyes
straight ahead," we are told. -
9:48 - 9:51Because there's a park across the street.
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9:51 - 9:55But there is a wrought iron fence
that encloses that park. -
9:55 - 9:58This is where the girls and I play.
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9:59 - 10:02Mostly, I stand at the fence and watch,
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10:02 - 10:06as my fellows play ball in the street
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10:06 - 10:07and be loud
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10:07 - 10:09and be rough
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10:09 - 10:11and be sweaty,
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10:11 - 10:14and I am behind the fence.
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10:19 - 10:22Accused of thinking naughty thoughts.
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10:23 - 10:24They have no idea.
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10:26 - 10:27End scene.
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10:29 - 10:32Sissified and bulldaggered,
we are all made up. -
10:32 - 10:36Just boys in dresses and girls in suits,
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10:36 - 10:37the Black transgressive body
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10:38 - 10:40caught in fantasies of boxes and binaries
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10:40 - 10:44that make our genitalia
representative of our gender, -
10:44 - 10:47and our mannerisms our sexuality.
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10:47 - 10:52Black trans lives are therefore
written off as merely gay effeminate -
10:52 - 10:54or lesbian butch.
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10:54 - 10:58And the overlay of femininity
on bodies marked as male, -
10:58 - 10:59and therefore as man,
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10:59 - 11:01adheres like a "kick me" sign,
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11:01 - 11:04except the consequences
are much more deadly. -
11:05 - 11:10The majority of trans people murdered
in this country are Black trans women. -
11:11 - 11:16Because when manhood
is located between one's legs, -
11:16 - 11:20and defined in opposition to womanhood,
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11:20 - 11:22what's between one's legs
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11:22 - 11:26cannot be seen as having anything
in common with womanhood. -
11:26 - 11:29And this same acidic wash
serves to blanch trans masculinity, -
11:29 - 11:32making it fade into nothingness.
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11:32 - 11:35Black trans men
become illusions of manhood, -
11:35 - 11:40women merely playing at being men
because you can't get a real man. -
11:44 - 11:47Forever put in our place,
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11:47 - 11:50we are indelibly marked as "woman."
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11:51 - 11:55And at best, the looming threat
of Black trans manhood -
11:55 - 11:58is contained, inoculated,
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11:58 - 12:01made more neutral, really.
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12:03 - 12:04Scene four.
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12:04 - 12:06I am with my therapist.
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12:07 - 12:09I tell her what I think about,
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12:09 - 12:13as my body begins to slowly morph
into another version of itself. -
12:17 - 12:21What will happen as I move
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12:21 - 12:25from the social threat
of angry Black womanhood -
12:26 - 12:29to the physical threat
of looming Black manhood? -
12:29 - 12:34When will my neighbors
forget to recognize me and my pit bull? -
12:34 - 12:36They've seen us nearly every day,
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12:36 - 12:38predawn or after twilight,
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12:38 - 12:40for what will have been
over two years by then? -
12:42 - 12:44When and how soon
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12:44 - 12:47after I am no longer misgendered woman
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12:47 - 12:50will the cops be called
to come and contain -
12:50 - 12:52and erase my presence?
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12:53 - 12:56How soon before the purse clutching,
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12:56 - 12:58the sidewalk crossing?
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12:59 - 13:02What does it mean to become a brute?
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13:03 - 13:06To turn my body
into another kind of threat? -
13:09 - 13:12She's stunned that I'm already
recognizing this. -
13:12 - 13:14I can't afford not to.
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13:15 - 13:16End scene.
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13:17 - 13:21Who can see me and my Black trans kin
in the skin we are in? -
13:23 - 13:25Who dares to love us,
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13:25 - 13:26who holds us close?
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13:26 - 13:29To whom do we matter
other than to ourselves? -
13:31 - 13:34We're not looking for saviors.
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13:34 - 13:36We have each other.
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13:36 - 13:38As Lilla Watson said,
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13:38 - 13:42"If you have come here to help me,
you are wasting your time. -
13:42 - 13:44But if you have come because you recognize
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13:44 - 13:46your liberation is bound up in mine,
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13:46 - 13:48then let us work together."
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13:48 - 13:53Let us work together
to make Black trans lives matter. -
13:53 - 13:55The lived experience of Black trans people
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13:55 - 13:56out into the world.
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13:56 - 14:00And if you believe that your liberation
is bound up with mine, -
14:00 - 14:02then I invite you
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14:02 - 14:05to make Black Trans Lives Matter
your personal ethic -
14:05 - 14:07by being transformative,
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14:07 - 14:10loudly and mindfully.
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14:10 - 14:12You can do that in three ways.
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14:12 - 14:15Transform your thinking
about blackness and gender. -
14:16 - 14:19Be loud by taking the risk
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14:19 - 14:24to confront false assumptions
and other's fears and biases. -
14:24 - 14:28Be mindful and pay attention and believe
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14:28 - 14:31what Black trans people say
about our own lives. -
14:32 - 14:34Being transformative loudly and mindfully
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14:34 - 14:36takes practice.
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14:36 - 14:39Just like getting
someone's pronouns right. -
14:39 - 14:42Mine are they, them, their,
and he, him, his, by the way. -
14:44 - 14:45And getting someone's pronouns right
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14:45 - 14:49and being transformative loudly
and mindfully matters. -
14:49 - 14:52Because Black trans lives matter.
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14:52 - 14:54My life matters.
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14:54 - 14:57My body is a sovereign country,
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14:57 - 14:59and my first site of resistance.
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15:01 - 15:05(Applause)
- Title:
- Scenes from a Black trans life
- Speaker:
- D-L Stewart
- Description:
-
At the crossroads of life and livelihood, scholar and activist D-L Stewart invites us into scenes from his own life as he resists and reflects on the dehumanizing narratives that shape the Black trans experience in the US. With each word of his captivating and poetic dissection, Stewart emphasizes the magnitude and urgency of the rallying cry "Black trans lives matter" -- and calls on others to uphold that truth, too.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDTalks
- Duration:
- 15:19
Erin Gregory edited English subtitles for Scenes from a Black trans life | ||
Erin Gregory edited English subtitles for Scenes from a Black trans life | ||
Erin Gregory approved English subtitles for Scenes from a Black trans life | ||
Erin Gregory edited English subtitles for Scenes from a Black trans life | ||
Erin Gregory edited English subtitles for Scenes from a Black trans life | ||
Joanna Pietrulewicz accepted English subtitles for Scenes from a Black trans life | ||
Joanna Pietrulewicz edited English subtitles for Scenes from a Black trans life | ||
Joanna Pietrulewicz edited English subtitles for Scenes from a Black trans life |