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This week's video is a topic that many of you have asked me to cover. That is, what do we do when people we are not that close to us ask us about our eating disorder? Or even worse, they bug us about what we are eating, how we are eating or anything like that. I have always been so surprised by what people will say or ask of someone they don't even really know very well. I honestly find questions about what someone is eating or comments about how someone is eating to be horribly rude! But maybe that is because of what I do.
There are a few things that we can do to help ourselves out when these people pop up and make our life even more uncomfortable. The first thing is to change the subject. Something I always tell my clients to do is to read the paper, watch the news, or watch some TV shows to give you something else to talk about. If someone asks you about your ED, you can just change the subject to what just happened in Texas or the last episode of Glee or Grey's Anatomy. There is nothing wrong with changing the subject. You can even begin another conversation with someone else instead of talking to them. There is nothing wrong with ignoring them or making them uncomfortable. After all, isn't that what they are doing to you?
If changing the subject is not something that you feel will work you can always step away. If you are at a restaurant you can fake a phone call and step outside to take it, or go to the bathroom. I know that the bathroom can be triggering for some people, but if not go in there and try a breathing exercise, or call/text someone for extra support. It is okay to step away when someone is bugging you. There is no need to feel guilty, we have to protect ourselves and our recovery, and that is much more important.
If the other options just don't seem to fit what you feel okay doing, you can also be kind of rude and rough. I know many of us would rather be hurt than hurt someone else's feelings, but sometimes an abrupt, "I can't believe you would ask me that here and I don't want to talk about it at all!" will do the trick.
The last tip is to sit next to someone that you can talk to and who knows you well and is supportive. They can help you out when someone is bugging you, and talk to you so that you don't have to deal with them. They may even be able to be rude when you don't feel like you can. So try to keep that in mind when you are going out to dinner with a group or heading to a party and try to make sure you sit next to your best friend. That's what friends are for after all.
Please leave your own tips and tricks to get through tough dinners and/or parties below and don't forget to check out my website. I have a free workbook available on there, as well as many other posts and support. Let's keep working together on our path to a Healthy Mind and a Healthy Body!