Desillusionierter Deutscher: "Rechte Propaganda" über Flüchtlinge ist leider die Wahrheit!

It is so that I distanced myself from the topic "refugees" for some time.

My first thought was that we must help these people.

I'm a humanist, and of the opinion that when someone is in need, he should be helped.

That's why my first reflex was to be pro-refugees and to say that we must help all and everyone of them.

I didn't reflect much on this, but at some point I had the need to see for myself how things were.

Then, I went to one of the refugee centers and joined a organization, in which I could do voluntary service.

This way, I took care of three refugees during the past 9 months.

I was supposed to help one of them with his school homework.

The second one needed a job.

The third one had just recently arrived from Syria and I was a kind of language coach for him.

But I also helped him with other things, like bringing his things in place, and trying to integrate him.

Like I said before, my position was fundamentally pro-refugees, before I started working with them.

Nowadays, after gaining personal experience with them, I'm very skeptical.

Of course I still believe we should help people in need, but the things I have experienced, unfortunately overlap with that being said by many

- and I'm trying to be apolitical here and objectively narrate the experience I have made without being judgmental or putting myself in either political corner -

also, at first I took care of a refugee that came from Afghanistan

he was still pretty young

and, I didn't work with him for long

he started an apprenticeship here in Germany

and needed help with his homework

I met him

and, offered him my help to do his homework periodically together

but he didn't commit himself to that

and didn't contact me anymore

That can happen. Perhaps he didn't like me, or had better things to do. It doesn't matter.

The second refugee

At this point I was a little bit disillusioned to be honest

He comes from Syria and is married with two kids.

He has been living here for ten years now. Also, he is no current refugee.

Apparently, he studied Mathematics back in Syria

He's a Mathematics Professor, but never really had a job in Germany

always some sort of non-skilled job, when he actually did something

I don't know why it was this way.

Anyways, my task was to help him finding a job.

The first thing to attract my attention was that he doesn't speak any German.

After ten years in the country he still has lots of problems to formulate sentences.

I looked for jobs with him

and I was always confronted with resistance

he couldn't do this, he couldn't do that

he is a mathematics professor

I kind of understood that. He was a highly qualified man, at least on paper, so I can understand when he doesn't want to do a dirty job

I tried to explain to him that he has to learn German, he needs German, he must be able to speak German to get a job according to his qualifications

He must do something about it, attend language classes, private classes or whatever

He refused to all my proposals:

German classes are too expensive, he cannot go to work because his wife is sick, or he can't do the job because he's overqualified.

I was always a struggle against his will

I found some language classes for him at the adult education center

that were very cheap

and with his social ID he would have paid even less

a course would have costed him 10 or 20€

and he could have done different levels

and achieved a good qualification

for a total cost of perhaps 150 or 200€

- complete, all the courses -

- they would have been 8 or 9 courses -

- offered by the adult education center -

I really did all the research for him

and put effort putting the information together

I looked for all the courses, the prices, what he would in fact pay with his social ID

I also looked for jobs for him, made the appointments, explained him when and how to apply for the positions

I told him I could correct the language of his application forms if he sent me them per email

Also, I did everything in my power to help him find a job

or to get a job

I would have attended the job interview with him

But he made every imaginable excuse

and at the end he stop contacting me

This was a experience in which I was a little disillusioned

I tried to rationalize it. It doesn't mean anything.

It was an isolated thing.

I also somewhat understood him.

His wife was sick and he had kids

It's not so easy

I can understand that in such situations people just don't want anything anymore. He was already in his 50s or so

I was disillusioned and perhaps also a little disappointed

But I wasn't a big deal

I granted myself some time off

and then I contacted this organization again

They appointed my to a third refugee

and the experience with this refugee

made me make this video

the range of feeling goes from fear, to rage and perplexity

It was so that this refugee, he comes from Syria

22 years old, I think, but I'm not sure anymore

In any case in his early 20s

The first impression was already a little... I thought to myself, well, perhaps he's traumatized or has been through a lot of shit.

We met a couple of times

He was... very disrespectful all the time

He was continuously on his mobile phone during our meetings, talking to people

or sending messages

and received friends

I felt like the 3rd wheel

He wanted my help, my support

but gave me to understand, that I have to follow him

It's difficult to explain

I wasn't in the center - I didn't ask for that either -

but if we have a meeting, and you spend time together in this context

then you expect the other person not to be continuously on the phone

and that his attentions is with the person that is offering his time to help

Anyways, with talked a lot, went hiking, he had a shot wound on his leg

and I thought, ok, this is exactly the kind of refugees we hear from in the media

one of those who really need help

At some point we started talking about religion

He was a Muslim

but he drank alcohol

and smokes

and, when I told him that I am an atheist and don't believe in a god

then

the mood changed

you could clearly see how he tried to pull himself together

and stay calm

but as the conversation progressed, he got more and more aggresive

I was having a totally normal conversation

and tried to explain to him

that in Germany

and generally in Europe

and all over the world

there are people that don't believe in god

and I tried to explain to him that I just don't believe in a god

and that there are very good reasons, in my opinion, in favor of atheism

He got aggressive and tried to convince me that there is a god

and specially the Muslim god, Allah

and asked how it could be that I'm alive when I don't belive in any god

He meant, that I haven't died in an accident, or because of misfortune, since there is no god to protect me

The situation turned very scary, he got aggressive and mean

I felt threatened

because I could realize he couldn't come to terms with that

I am an atheist, so I quickly ended the conversation

This was the first situation where I thought, ok,

I have to be careful with what I say

My freedom of speech was actually constrained

Nobody prohibited me to say something, but

it was... somehow threatening

I cannot say more about it. This was how I felt.

Then I remember a situation

He had a process going on... it was about his residence permit

I don't know the details, but it was about whether he could stay in Germany or not.

He came through Italy

and he got registered there

and that's why this process was going on

I think it's called Schengen Agreement

As I said, I don't really know the details

In any case it wasn't clear if he could stay in Germany because of his registration in Italy, which is a safe country

Anyway, the legal action went well for him

and he got the approval for staying in Germany

eventually he got a letter stating he owed 600€ in legal fees

this letter was from his lawyer

and he got incredibly upset about it

he turned really mean because he had to pay the 600€

he didn't understand, I tried to explain to him that when he hires a private lawyer he has to pay him

his reasoning was that he had won the legal action and now is here in Germany

I didn't understand what he meant by that

What does it mean that "he's now here"

he said, that if we won the case, than it's because everyone wants to have him here, so he shouldn't have to pay for the lawyer.

That was very confusing for him

Eventually he accepted it and paid the lawyer

This wasn't a problem a for me, I though, ok, he just doesn't understand how things work here. Perhaps it's different in Syria or so.

I didn't think much about it

But when he started talking about his expectations in Germany

He expects, literally... he thought that in Germany nobody has to work

He was irritated about having to work

He said he though that nobody has to work in Germany

That's what people say in Syria and along the refugee routes.

I explained to him that in Germany people have to work and that people in Germany have to gain their sustenance and prosperity

Then I thought again that it was a misunderstanding created by some rumors and I shouldn't overestimate it.

However, his statement was important later on

when he spoke to me about his family after a couple of days

What I understood was that he was a kind of pawn for the family

He's the family's lackey and has to jump whenever his father snaps his fingers

There is a clear hierarchy

The father... better said the family, the father has the last word but the whole family sent this refugee to Germany

Then I asked him why he was sent, because after wall he was the family's servant

he told me it was so that he can earn money

Now it's important to recall that he thought nobody has to work in Germany

He told me his family sent him to Germany so that he can collect this free money

Because everyone was assuming that in Germany nobody has to work

Since he was the idiot in the family, who was willing to travel to Germany, he was the one they sent.

He had to do it.

It wasn't an escape from Syria, but a mission

His mission was to find money for the family

so I asked him if his family was in danger or doing bad, because he was always talking to them on his mobile

I asked him how they were doing and if they are going to come to Germany too

He said "no, no, they aren't coming to Germany". They are doing fine and have no worries.

I started being skeptical.

Because I imagine Syria as a big war zone.

Perhaps there are regions now in which there are no wars going on

at least this family didn't have any problems there

and sent their son to Germany to procure money for them, because they thought there is free money here, without working

then when talked about his qualifications

he told me he studies computer science in Syria

I was really excited and told him he would have a wonderful future here

and the injure in your leg won't be a problem, since you just sit in front of a computer

I told him, nice, we need people like you!

We need skilled workers, that's what we are always getting told

and I told him just that

I was really happy about him

Now, it is so that I also have a degree in computer science

I studied technical computer science and financial computer science

and I thought to myself: "ok, here is something we can have good discussions about"

unfortunately I realized after just 3 minutes that he didn't know anything

I was pretty obvious that he had never attended a computer science class

This means he lied about his qualifications

or the standards in Syria are extremely low

I don't know, but I'd bet it's the former.

He also told me that young girls and boys come to the refugee center on the evenings.

and I asked him what are they doing there

and he says, yeah, they buy drugs

marihuana and things like that

and I asked him, how so? In the refugee center or at the refugee center?

he said, yes, every evening

That irritated me a little bit

and I asked him if he does it too

he replied no no, he doesn't do that

I tried to frighten him a little

I tried to explain to him that the police is protecting the refugee centers and the officers will realize drugs are being sold there

He was irritated about this

he said, "really? In our refugee center nobody has been arrested, ever"

Apparently they have been doing this for months now

I was irritated, I tried to explain that the police is observing this

and taking notes

and waiting for enough delicts to be committed in order to act

it's always difficult in isolated acts, so they collect them for a while

and I showed him were the police car was

it was parked near the refugee center

when I pointed with my finger he got a panic attack

and told "stop pointing at the police!"

"they could arrest us!"

they won't do such a thing, I told him

"they'll ask us to take our pants down, and they'll search us and so"

I don't know from which source he got that

but he had a strong fear to get the attention of the police

I have to be honest, I was very irritated

because they have been selling drugs for months right under the nose of the police

and nothing happens

the problem is that there is a vocational school less than 20 meters away

a big vocational school is there

where about 800 pupils ranging from 14 to 21 years old attend school

and 20 meters away there is a refugee center that is well-known as a place where you can get drugs without any problems.

and the police haven't done anything for months

I was really.... I must say stunned, I was really stunned

I didn't understand how can someone come here as a refugee and the first thing this person does is to sell drugs.

I thought this was just a rumor. I thought it was just right-wing propaganda

But it wasn't. It is the reality. Just the reality.

For the refugees it's a relieve that there is no action by the police

The police don't do anything.

This is obviously a free ticket for them.

And the word gets around that nothing happens if they sell drugs

and if their client attend to school 20 meters away, then it's even better

it's good for the business

Personally, something that really upset me was

when he got the residence permit

and the legal action was over

when it was clear to him that he was allowed to stay in Germany

I asked when what his plans were

if he was going to look for an apartment, or so.

I don't know, I haven't done this very often with refugees

He told me he was going to look for an apartment

but then he got really angry.

I asked him why he was so furious

And he told me he gets an apartment paid for up to 50m².

I asked him if he was being serious. If he was angry because of that.

He gets an apartment for free, up to 50m², paid for in this size.

And he told me, "yes, it's very small".

and that it was an infamy to put him in such a small apartment.

It was hard to swallow. I live still live in 23m², this is my old student apartment, also I live in 23m² with two cats. I don't even have my own kitchen, just a kitchenette

and been living here for 6 years. I paid for the apartment myself.

That was really upsetting. These demands all the time.

Free lawyer, getting money for not working, free apartment and then complain about it being too small with 50m², and then they are selling drugs in the refugee center, and the police don't care

I tried without prejudice - I make this for 9 months now - and each time I had a bad experience I tried to interpret it in the context of each individual and each separate story

I thought, ok, next time it will be better

what is comming from the center, the fear of the so-called "concerned citizens" that are pushed to the right corner, I can understand them now because I have just experience it first hand.

I had to deal with these refugees

I was there. I saw it. I talked to them.

My experiences with the 3rd refugee fulfill the negative picture we have about the refugees. I didn't want to believe it.

But it's just the reality.

I was furious. I was angry. And I drew consequences.

If I have to have fear about my own security and the security of my family and friends.

or I am confronted with these demands

and them I am the one helping them

for example I invited them to the cinema

I invested time in them

I gave to, shared with, invested in a person who didn't need it

at the end I asked myself why I was helping them

the fact is that the demands of these people are completely disproportionate.

The notion of these people about Germany, and the rights in Germany, and the possibilities here were completely disproportionate.

and that reality, my reality, my life, my experience, my money, my apartment, my whole living standard

lie well below their expectations and demands

and that what's already above my living standard, it's for these people too little.

I'm not insinuating bad intentions. Of course they were falsely informed and they got the wrong expectations.

But if you don't inform yourself in advance, or you don't let people explain things to you, and maintain the stubborn attitude that e.g. 50m² is too small and you want more

and these people don't care that a lot of people in Germany live under much worse conditions than themselves

than things turn personal

and eventually I took it personally too

and stopped helping this person and wrote a letter to this organization

in which I clearly stated that I didn't have the impression that this person was in need for help

I wrote about the three bad experiences I've had.

that I was really disillusioned

that I was disappointed

and confronted with an unexpected reality

We are being told something completely different

We see in the media something completely different

And we are gagged every time we try to speak about these things

The argument always goes like "but have you experienced this first-hand or you have this information from people that just want to agitate against refugees?"

Yes, I have experienced this.