FAKE FRIENDS EPISODE TWO: parasocial hell

[Shannon] Grape-kun was a real-life penguin that essentially fell in love

with a cardboard cutout of an anime character.

Grape-kun is the ur-parasocial relationship.

We peak with Grape-kun.

[Bo Burnham] And I was sort of raised in America

when it was a cult of self-expression,

and I was just taught, you know, express myself and have things to say

and everyone will care about them.

And I think everyone was taught that, and most of us found out

no one gives a s*** what we think.

*Audience laughs* -So we flock to performers by the thousands

because we're the few that have found an audience

and then I'm supposed to get up here and say "follow your dreams"

as if this is a meritocracy, it is not, ok?

I had a privileged life and I got lucky and I'm unhappy.

[Audience laughs]

[Wreden] Please, help me. Please give me some of whatever it is

that-that makes you complete, I want- whatever that wholeness is

that you just summoned out of nothing and you put into your work,

you were...complete in some way that I never was!

I want to know how to be a good person, I want to know how not to hate myself.

Please!

[Jacksepticeye] It's a hard life, man.

I-It's not a hard life. It's a-it's a weird life.

When there's so many eyeballs on you all at once, and, like,

everything you say is put under the microscope.

Blah blah blah- It's so f***in' weird.

[Jason Pargin] We were trying to figure out why...

PewDiePie had surpassed, y'know, 30 million subscribers.

And that he had literally THE most-watched show

in all of media.

And I think when we had this conversation,

South Park had just done an episode about how...

...mystifying that was.

[Kyle] "You're watching someone play Call of Duty and talk about it?"

[Ike] *claps* "PewDiePie!"

This is what kids consider entertainment is this guy shouting at video games,

or- or, whatever. Or like, that didn't make sense to me.

so I had made it a point since then to try to-

because it is kind of my job to stay current on things a little bit

even though I'm hopelessly old, and what I had found was

that a huge segment of the entertainment that's out there

among the popular youtubers, it really is just people hanging out

and having someone to hang out with.

And they will just sit together and watch a movie or something

and you're only watching it because you kind of get to, like,

just be friends with them in the room?

Only, you don't have to say anything?

[Jacksepticeye] 'What do you like most about what you do?'

Honestly, as cliché as it is to say... THIS kind of stuff.

It's-it's the community aspect of what I do that's the most fun part of it all,

interacting with the people who watch your content.

[Bo Burnham] I think, like, the poison of-of...now is fan interaction.

[Jack] You can be an actor and you can make a movie,

but there's so much time between when you start that project-

when you get the role in that project- to when it's actually out

and you can interact with people about it,

compared to what YouTube is, whereas I record this video now,

it's probably gonna go up tomorrow, and I get direct feedback from you always,

all the time.

[Alton Brown] Yeah, somebody like started an account

saying that they were...my...spouse,

and I was kind of like "you people are all creeps."

[Jack] It can be a bit overloading sometimes,

and some people from traditional media might think that that's a bad thing

because it's too much- it's too much stimulus all the time.

[Markiplier] Did you know that there's a whole fan base

dedicated to like my arms and my pit hair?

[Jack] I love it!

[Boogie2988] I get to the big concert hall and I roll right through the front doors,

and Mark being the smart person he is and aware of what's going on,

I believe he ends up nopeing out.

I think he tries to go find, uh, backstage, but John and-and Jack follow me on in

and immediately Jack is swarmed.

[Bo] -artists that just, cave to their fans and do all this stuff for their fans-

-celebrity, which was like a byproduct of art, it's gone from it.

Now, it's just celebrities and people.

[Jack] I just want to meet you guys all the time.

It's the best feeling in the world, it's why I love doing Youtube.

If you guys weren't there to meet, then...

i-it just wouldn't be worthwhile to me because you guys means so much to me.

[Boogie] But I didn't even know there was this many people at the concert,

I don't think there was, but he is literally swarmed by ten,

then twenty, then fifty, then a hundred...teenage girls,

it is like Beatlemania, they are clawing all over him to get a hold of him,

and they're like taking pictures with him, they're trying to touch him...

[Bo] I try not to think about...fans.

♫ A part of me loves you ♫

[Jack] I wouldn't do this if you weren't there watching,

and I really love you guys to bits-

♫ Part of me hates you ♫

[Jack] Sincerely-

♫ Part of me needs you ♫

♫ Part of me fears you ♫

[Boogie] We get to the green room and I expect Jack to be livid with me

or at least livid with the situation, and he's not mad at all,

but he is exasperated and I'll never forget he says something to the effect of,

"Boogie, I'd love to meet every girl there, I'd love to meet every girl in the world,

but I can't do it. There's only one me, there's thousands of them.

They all want to meet me and I can't do it, I can't take a picture with every girl here

there's-there's thousands of girls here.

[Mike Stoklasa] The relationship between Follower and Instagrammer and the-

[Jay Bauman] -The psychology of how that can affect you,

like on both sides.

[Jack] I respect your guy's opinions a great deal, and I listen to you

every single day from the stuff I'm doing, and I try my best to do right by you guys,

and I hope I'm doing you guys proud.

[Bo] I feel like the best thing I can give people

is what I believe I should do, regardless of what they think.

[Jack] I love you, I've-I've seen people say

"I don't know if he cares about us anymore", but...

hopefully any of you who are there over the weekend can tell that I really do.

[Bo] ...videos of them opening up gifts from their fans and talking about it,

I'm like "Why are-where the f*** are... what the f*** is happening?"

♫ The truth is, my biggest problem's you ♫

♫ I want to please you ♫

♫ But I want to stay true to myself ♫

♫ I want to give you the night out that you deserve ♫

[Jack] ...I'm having the time of my life doing this stuff, and I never want anything

to change too much.

I want to still do it for fun, I want to still be...

I want to still feel like a friend to all you guys.

♫ But I want to say what I think and not care what you think about it ♫

[Tsundere Chan] You mean how I could never want to be

with a pitiful human like yourself,

wasting away playing games and watching anime,

probably never going to amount to anything in the rest of your sad, pathetic life?

[Jessi] She's supposed to just stay stationary

for this half-hour, while this fake imaginary boyfriend

talks to her and compliments her and makes her feel good about herself,

and then she goes one more day without killing herself.

[Gigguk] Alright? That was-That was mean.

[Shane Dawson] For me, what I do is when I'm gonna eat dinner, alone,

*laughs* um, with my dog, in my creepy house,

I like to turn on a video of somebody eating food and talking,

and it kind of makes you feel like you're eating dinner with somebody.

That is so f***ing sad when I say it out loud, holy s***.

[Kendrick Lamar] I never thought that a female will cry for me, right?

*laughs* I always thought that was the most insane thing

when I look on TVs and they be crying, you know, you know, for...

Justin Bieber, Usher, and stuff like that, right?

That happened.

Six young ladies running to me. Boom, rush me.

All got tears in the eyes at the same time.

So I'm tripping to myself,

"What happened, did one of my- something happened to my peoples?"

It's like, "No, we love Section.80 so much,

we was just talking about it and we all just broke down in tears

and we see you and we thought it was just meant to be to see you,

since we were talking about it."

I was like "Woah. That's crazy."

I couldn't believe it.

[J.T. Sexkik] "-it's about real happiness that you can't get with 3d"...?

[Jay] ...it's the first movie I've seen that really captures the kind of psychology

of like a parasocial relationship, which is that one-sided relationship

where you-you follow someone on Instagram or Twitter or whatever

and you feel like they're your friend

even though they don't know you f***ing exist.

Um...it's a scary scary world when it comes to that stuff.

[Waifubot] If you had the option to truly dive into your fantasy,

a perfect world to escape your reality, would you say no?

Of course, you never really wanted us to be real.

[Bo] They're lying too, that's all.

They're lying.

Entertainers, they are lying and they are manipulating you,

and it's not in the good way. It's like advertising, you deserve better.

I'm not saying I'm it, but I'm the guy that says you deserve better,

you go get better, you say "Thank you weird man. Bye."

*Audience laughs*

Anyone watch, uh, celebrity lip-syncing on The Tonight Show, you know?

*Audience cheers* -It's the end of culture.

Culture's over everybody, we lost.

*Audience claps*

This is entertainment.

How is this entertainment? People we've seen too much of

mouthing along to songs we've heard too much of,

and this is the bread and butter of American television,

and it's always one of two things, on celebrity lip-syncing,

it's either a male celebrity lip-syncing to a woman song,

*laughs* but he's not-

*Audience laughs* -Or, it's...

a rich, young, white actress ironically lip-syncing to a hip-hop song.

Ho hoo.

♫ Fuck the police coming straight from the underground. ♫

♫ Can you believe this song was once an honest articulation of class struggle?

Uh huh ha!

F*** these people, how dare they think

that them f***ing around is worthy of your attention.

Them playing pictionary- your attention's a valuable thing.

I worked for three years to... get it for an hour, and I barely get there.

-See? *Audience laughs*

It's like, you know these people actually do a job, right?

They actually are supposed to give you a tangible service.

You know, beyond just you liking them, like they're actually supposed to give you

something concrete that you can- that can affect you or you can pass along

or will mean something to you or-or will stay with you,

and it has become this like IV drip, this just constant...distraction or, um...

yeah.

[Jack] If I didn't have you here, I'd fall apart.

I wouldn't know what to make, I wouldn't know what I was doing was right.

I need that validation, like the game was saying.

[Michael B. Jordan] Uh, it makes me run the other way.

*exhales* Like a flock of fans, you know I'm saying,

like big groups that swarm on you a little bit so gotta kinda like gauge it

like "Is this dangerous? Can this get out of hand?"

and then once you make that quick decision, I'm-I'm out of there.

-Out of there? -Yeah, yeah.

[Boogie] ...and if I didn't already love Jack, I would love Jack there

because he wasn't worried about himself, he wasn't worried about the mistake I made,

he was worried-he was worried about disappointing his fans,

and that's-I mean, that's a true Youtuber,

you gotta love somebody who feels like that.

[Shannon] An honorific is “a title or word implying

or expressing high status, politeness, or respect”.

You probably know the Japanese honorific “-san”,

which is similar to “Mr. or “Mrs.” in English and communicates respect,

whereas “-kun” is “used by persons of senior status in addressing or referring

to those of junior status, or by anyone when addressing or referring

to male children or male teenagers.”

Grape-kun was a humboldt penguin at the Tobu Zoo in Japan,

named for the purple identification band strapped to his wing.

Grape-kun had a mate named Midori who, after he had to leave the enclosure

for a period of time due to health problems,

left him for a male penguin who was younger than him.

Humboldt penguins typically mate for life and Grape-kun, as you can imagine,

was devastated.

That is, until the anime Kemono Friends ran a promotion at Tobu Zoo

and Hululu entered Grape-kun’s life.

To quote a a SoranNews24 article on Grape-kun:

"While the other animals paid no attention to the cardboard cutouts in their midst,

Grape-kun became so enamoured by his 2-D visitor

that he couldn’t tear his eyes away from her,

and it wasn’t long before photos began surfacing online, showing the penguin

staring up at her for hours at a time and refusing to leave her side."

The Daily Mail is hardly a reputable source,

but they were accurate when describing penguin mating rituals

which Grape-kun displayed when trying to court Hululu.

*Grape-kun caws*

"Grape’s true feelings were all but confirmed when he was observed

standing before the cut-out with his wings outstretched and his beak pointed up.

This stance is a courtship ritual in the penguin world, and an indicator

that Grape could be ready to take his relationship to the next leVEL."

A Metro article stated that:

“…it was so all-consuming that he neglected to eat his meals,

meaning zookeepers had to remove the cut-out.

When the cut-out was taken away, Grape-kun began eating again-

but it was obvious that he was deeply missing his cardboard soul mate.

The zoo has since embraced the penguin’s unusual crush

by broadcasting updates of the couple on social media."

It describes how the Tobu Zoo profited off of the attention Grape-Kun received,

saying:

“In fact, they’re so in love with the idea of their penguin being in love

that they’ve even started selling a ‘Loving Grape’ drink in (the) gift shop

…describing it to customers as the ‘perfect embodiment’

of Grape-kun and his cut-out’s relationship.

Who doesn’t love a good marketing opportunity?

The label states that the ‘white and deep purple mix together beautifully,

yet the ice cream makes you feel cold’, to remind zoo-goers of ‘two penguin souls

that yearn to be together but remain in separate dimensions’."

This is all real.

This is a real thing that actually...happened.

After some time Grape-kun fell ill and was dying.

In a straitstimes article, Tobu Zoo’s penguin caretaker Eri Nemoto said:

“We put the cardboard panel next to him to comfort him to the very end.”

The goodbye tweet from the zoo to Grape-kun when he died,

translated into English, reads:

“The Humboldt penguin Grape-kun passed away yesterday.

Sincere thanks to everyone for supporting him until now.

Thank you also to Hululu, who watched over him until the very end.

And thank you, Grape-kun, for all this time.

Rest peacefully in heaven.“

From the technology Enquirer:

"Even Kemono Friends manga artist, Mine Yoshizaki,

drew up a special illustration of Hululu with Grape-kun.

In the illustration, they wear matching purple bands

as if these were wedding rings."

A “waifu” is “a fictional female character from non-live-action visual media

(typically an anime, manga or video game) to whom one is attracted.”

I don’t want to spend too much time getting into waifu culture-

if you’re interested, in 2012 video essayist JT Sexkik published

a video essay called “Waifuism And You” that you can check out.

Sexkik has a background in chan culture and I don’t agree with some of his language

(including slurs) or some of what he says in his essays,

but I still find value in them and in the research that he does.

[J.T.] 'Waifu as a Lifestyle'? What?

[Shannon] His waifuism essay is an honest examination

of the phenomenon from someone who is very familiar with it,

and the enraged comments he got in response show that he definitely struck a nerve.

[J.T.] 'Mai Waifu' was basically... like a joke,

it was a facetious, tongue-in-cheek way of being like:

"Oh, I like this character or she's really cute or..."

something like that.

What's interesting though is the thing that the word is come to represent now,

which is an obsessive commitment to a fictional character.

This...whole concept... is so baffling to me.

[Shannon] Gigguk also made a couple of short films dealing with waifu culture

called “Your Waifu is Real” and “Your Waifu Doesn’t Love You”

that would be further illuminating to the uninitiated.

[Waifubot] Was I created to research the cure for cancer?

Solve world hunger?

-Oh, no, we just want you to be the imaginary girlfriend to a bunch of guys.

[Waifubot] I think I understand.

This whole waifu culture, it's like...some self-aware meta joke.

-Correct, for the most part. -And nobody who really choose

to have a waifu if they actually existed.

Hello?

[J.T.] Or there's also the whole '3D Pig Disgusting' thing,

which I mean, you know, uh...that is still mostly a joke, but...

uh... there's still this undercurrent of misogyny

among this-this uh... this circle of people.

[Shannon] Anime nerds into waifu culture related strongly to Grape-kun

and responded with an outpouring of support.

The straitstimes piece phrases it as:

“The plight of the romantic penguin went viral,

earning Grape millions of fans worldwide.”

A Soranews24 article on Grape-kun is titled:

“Japan’s anime-loving penguin turned to comfort of a 2-D girl

after being scorned by his 3-D wife”,

subtitled “Lost his real-life penguin wife, gained an anime waifu”.

"Were Grape-kun a human, his situation would have elicited at least a few cries of

“He should stop obsessing over anime characters

and look for a real girl instead!”

But it turns out that Grape-kun did indeed have a 3-D romantic partner,

and it was only after that relationship fell apart

that he found comfort with his 2-D crush.

Having lost his companion, Grape-kun began spending more time apart

from the other members of the penguin colony.

Then, like a lonely, lovesick otaku taking refuge in anime indulgence,

he became enthralled with Hululu once a cardboard standee of the character

was placed near the penguin habitat as part of a cross-promotion with Kemono Friends."

A Vice piece titled 'Love Is Dead,

and So Is the Penguin Who Fell for a Cardboard Cutout', states:

"Fans of Grape seem to be taking his death pretty seriously,

referring to him as a person, imagining his service as a soldier’s funeral,

even starting a Change.org petition begging the zoo

to erect a statue of Grape and Hululu in his honor."

The piece ends with: "So long, Grape-kun.

May we all find someone who looks at us

the way you looked at that cardboard cutout."

From the BBC:

"Sadly, his death comes a month before the zoo’s Grape Festival,

a series of events spanning two weeks based around the celebrity penguin."

Grape-kun didn’t know what an anime is and didn’t understand marketing or branding

or currency, but the Tobu Zoo sure knew how to make money off of him

and off of his story.

Welcome to part two of Fake Friends, my series on parasocial relationships.

Part one is an introduction to the term

and an explanation of the concept and its academic background,

so you should check that video out before you watch this one.

This episode is a broad exploration

of different examples of parasocial relationships.

I also want to give the same disclaimer from the first essay that a discussion

of a media figure or content creator in this essay

because they're a relevant example does not mean

that I endorse them or their work or their beliefs.

Some people I talk about I know are awful and for others I don’t pretend to know

that much about them or their field, so blanket content warning

and viewer discretion advised for anything that I mention in this essay.

I used a lot of fairly obvious examples

of parasocial relationships in the first video-

Mister Rogers, Dora the Explorer,

let’s players like Markiplier, Bob Ross, etcetera.

I did also intentionally focus on what I consider to be the creepy

and exploitative nature of a lot of parasocial relationships,

but not every instance of a parasocial relationship,

even one that's deliberately fostered and profited off of, is inherently evil.

Harp seals, also known as Saddleback seals, are born yellow-white

before their coats turn white, then grey.

They're goofy and adorable, especially as pups

with big black eyes against the white fur and snow,

So, when Takanori Shibata of the Intelligent System Research Institute

of Japan's National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology

was designing a therapeutic robot, he chose harp seals as a basis for his design.

Paro is a robot alternative to animal assisted therapy,

a simulated therapy animal who never needs to be fed or cleaned up after

and who won't ever get sick or die.

I talked about Paro in my uncanny valley essay,

a companion essay to this series that deals with inhuman objects

that try to pass himself off as human and our relationship with them.

Check it out if you want further elaboration.

here's an excerpt from Adam Peoria's popular science piece

titled: 'Will Your Next Best Friend Be A Robot?'

"To make Paro realistic, Shibata flew out to a floating ice field

in north-east Canada to record real baby seals in their natural habitat.

In addition to replicating those sounds in the robot, he designed it

to seek out eye contact, respond to touch, cuddle, remember faces,

and learn actions that generate a favorable reaction.

[Takanori, Subtitles] PARO has a value system

that includes enjoying being stroked and disliking being hit.

In its relationship with its owner, PARO remembers if it's been stroked.

And in similar situations, this robot acts in ways

that make it more likely to be stroked.

In this way, PARO gradually learns to develop

a personality that its owner likes.

[Shannon] "Just like animals used in pet therapy, Shibata argues,

Paro can help relieve depression and anxiety-

but it never needs to be fed and doesn't die."

In 'It's Not a Stuffed Animal, It's a $6,000 Medical Device;

Paro the Robo Seal Aims to Comfort Elderly, but Is It Ethical?'

by Anne Tergesen and Miho Inada, published in the Wall Street Journal,

they quote Sherry Turkle,

a professor in the Science, Technology and Society program

at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology,

saying that she acknowledges Paro’s potential as a “communication aid”,

but warns against regarding it as a companion.

“Why are we so willing to provide our parents, then ourselves,

with faux relationships?” she asks.

To further quote the piece-

"Shibata says he designed Paro to evoke memories of pets and babies.

It weighs about 6 pounds, feels warm and sucks on a pacifier-like charger.

"It doesn't do much other than utter weird sounds like 'heee' or 'huuu,'"

says Tomoko Iimura, whose adult day-care center in Tsukuba City

keeps its Paro in a closet."

Paro's European distributor is the Danish Technological Institute.

Denmark's Paros are mostly purchased with public funds.

The DTI, quote, "requires caregivers to attend Paro seminars,

where they discuss such issues as whether it’s OK to leave an elderly person alone

with a Paro, and whether patients must be told it’s a robot.

Don’t allow someone to “escape into a strange seal robot’s universe,”

cautions Lone Gaedt, senior consultant at DTI."

Vincentian Collaborative, which runs several homes,

"has made Paro one of the many formal “interventions” used

before staff medicate dementia patients who become very agitated or aggressive."

[Takanori, Subtitles] Previously, such patients were sedated,

and even now, that's sometimes done in Europe and America.

In Japan, such patients are sometimes physically restrained.

But if such patients have contact with PARO,

they settle down almost immediately, smile, and feel good.

Sometimes they're able to talk.

As such effects can be actually observed, there's no need to use drugs.

Of course, this method doesn't work in 100% of cases.

But even if it doesn't work, it has no particular side-effects,

so all you need to do is stop using it.

[Shannon] "Aides also take Paro to residents’ rooms

to get them to socialize.

At another Vincentian home, Lois Simmeth, 73,

doesn’t always participate in group activities,

but she ventures into the hall when she hears Paro’s sounds.

"I love animals," explains Ms. Simmeth.

She whispered to the robot in her lap: "I know you're not real,

but somehow, I don't know, I love you.""

The Popular Science piece describes Paro in positive terms-

"Yasuko Komatsu, the head nurse, pulls me aside to tell me a story:

Not long ago, a patient arrived who would frequently wander the hallways,

entering others’ rooms to move and collect interesting objects.

One of her favorite targets was the room of a patient

who compulsively arranged her belongings in a precise order.

The thefts led to bedlam.

“The victim would raise her voice yelling and screaming,” Komatsu says.

“But the other patient didn’t really understand why she was so mad.

The staff tried to intervene. But the problems continued,

and the screaming upset the other patients.”

Paro’s arrival had a calming effect on all the patients, but especially the wanderer.

She largely abandoned her forays when told the baby seal was waiting for her

in the third-floor common room.

During my visit, I see this patient humming to Paro and gently brushing its hair.

She notices me watching and summons me over.

“Paro is saying, ‘Nice to meet you,’ ” she says.

Then she smiles serenely and returns to her robot."

Pepper is a robot developed by SoftBank Robotics.

Softbank Promotional material states: "Pleasant and likeable,

Pepper is much more than a robot,

he is a genuine humanoid companion created to communicate with you

in the most natural and intuitive way, through his body movements and his voice."

[Advertisement] Pepper's not here to replace humans or even vacuum the floor.

Pepper is here to make people happy, help them grow, and enhance their lives.

[Shannon] Pepper has been used both to increase foot traffic in stores

and to manipulate consumers into giving over their contact information.

[Ad] Pepper can be incredibly helpful interacting with customers

and solving problems, or providing information.

That's because Pepper is a friend, an advisor, and a business partner.

[Shannon] In 2017 Thuy Ong published a piece in The Verge called

'Pepper the robot is now a Buddhist priest programmed to chant at funerals'.

"While the intention may be good, the execution is not so.

Judging from footage of the chants,

the robot is quite disconcerting and brazen.

Buddhist temples are places of peace and reflection.

Death, and therefore funerals, are of religious significance

and Buddhist priests play a vital role in the ceremony.

Personally, I can't see this working out, in addition to it being just plain creepy.

When I sent this to my mom, she responded with a cry-face emoji."

In a reuters piece, "Buddhist priest Tetsugi Matsuo said he came to the expo

to see if Pepper could “impart the ‘heart’ aspect to a machine

because he believes that the ‘heart’ is the foundation of religion."

The robot has not yet been hired for a funeral."

From the Popular Science piece-

"Since Pepper has limited computational abilities, engineers designed the robot

to more closely resemble a child than an adult.

“You can find kids who cannot understand everything adults are talking about,”

Hayashi says, “but a kid wants to make the adults around him happy.

And he talks a lot because he knows that’s the best way for him to [do that]

when he doesn’t have the same mental capacity as adults.

It’s the same with Pepper.”

All of these tricks ultimately serve the same goal:

They subtly convey that this little guy wants to hang out with me -

— that he is a friend, an ally.

“The important thing,” Hayashi says, “is the sense of being accepted,

the sense of being understood by Pepper, and the feeling

that he is reacting based on that understanding.”

That illusion of understanding, what some might call artificial empathy,

touches an “evolutionary button” roboticists are attempting to exploit.

Some robots push it without even trying.

Fostering a relationship between man and machine

may require far less sophistication than what even Pepper has to offer.

It’s not clear that robots need to look human at all.

Matthias Scheutz,

who heads the Tufts University Human-Robot Interaction Laboratory,

notes that there is already literature on people developing feelings —

what he calls “unidirectional bonds” — for their Roomba vacuum cleaners.

“People seem to experience gratitude toward their Roomba,” he says.

“They think it works hard and that it should take a break.

They clean for it. They take it on vacation.

It seems totally absurd. The Roomba doesn’t even look like a person,

but it does something nice for us, and since it moves,

it can seem like an autonomous agent.”

Social robotics pioneer Cynthia Breazeal, who directs MIT’s Personal Robots Group,

notes that the company IRobot has encountered a similar reaction

from battle-hardened vets begging for technicians

to fix their bomb-disposal robots.

“They have soldiers coming back in tears saying, ‘Please fix my robot Scooby Doo,

because it saved my life,’ ” she says.

“I mean these are powerful emotional attachments.

And this is a completely teleoperated bomb disposal robot

that wasn’t even trying to be social.

It’s just part of the human experience and how we relate and engage

with one another and the world. We are profoundly social beings.”

Such an attachment is troubling to some.

Sherry Turkle, the director of MIT’s Initiative on Technology and the Self,

argues that what robots provide is the illusion of a relationship.

And she worries that some who find human relationships challenging

may turn to robots for companionship instead.

Tuft’s Scheutz warns that elderly people who feel depressed

could become more so if they misunderstand a robot’s actions,

or if the robot fails to correctly read human signals.

“There are just so many ways these interactions can go wrong,” Scheutz says."

We’re pretty used to subservient female companions-

Cortana, Alexa, Siri-

and the creepy implications of these assistants are self-evident-

but GateBox is the peak of uncomfortable simulated female companionship.

From Newsweek’s 'HOLOGRAPHIC WIFE OFFERS INTIMACY TO JAPAN’S CELIBATE GENERATION'-

"To fill this intimacy void, a Japanese firm has come up

with a holographic companion that allows its owner to

“enjoy a life with someone while still retaining your freedom.”"

To quote from the virtualtrends piece

'A holographic virtual girlfriend lives inside Japan’s answer to the Amazon Echo'-

"Instead of a simple, cylindrical speaker design,

Gatebox has a screen and a projector, which brings Hikari —

her name, appropriately, means “light” — to life inside the gadget.

On the outside are microphones, cameras, and sensors

to detect temperature and motion, so she can interact with you

on a more personal level, rather than being a voice on your phone."

Vinclu apparently is planning multiple possible personalities for Gatebox —

which, as part of the device’s backstory, is a gateway

to the dimension the character lives in.

As a side note, most of Hikari’s personality

seems to involve her wanting to please her “master”.

And also, uh...cooking eggs? Eggs??

Her coming from another dimension reminds me

of how Hululu’s relationship with Grape-Kun was described.

*Grape-kun caws*

I found a 2007 Washington Post piece describing how two English security guards

were so distracted by the game Virtual Woman

that they missed the fact that their bank was being robbed.

But when going back for a closer look, I could not find

a reputable source for the piece.

The Washington Post links to a website called 'Article Codex', which was useless.

When I googled the title and author

I found two postings on ezine articles dot com under the name Jane Trebay.

Trebay’s two article were both about men

being infatuated and obsessed with the Virtual Woman game.

This article about a man supposedly “cheating” on his wife

with a Virtual Woman references individuals and institutions

that do not seem to exist.

I downloaded Virtual Woman and played it and it’s horrific.

You build a woman, and then the game tells you

to try to get her to take her clothes off.

I don’t have any problems with video games having a sexual component to them,

but Virtual Woman melds the uncanny valley

and probably the worst chatbot I’ve ever tried to use.

She just rambles disjointedly, ignoring most of what you have to say

unless you directly hit on or insult her.

It’s a nightmare, especially the way the developers assumed

you were along for the ride with their weird creepy fake woman fantasy.

No wonder the only articles I can find about how great it is

are mysteriously difficult to verify,

along with the bizarre claim on its Wikipedia page that it’s used by

“members of a polar stationed research team”.

The podcast clip from towards the beginning of this video

is from the Cracked podcast and the man speaking is David Wong,

real name Jason Pargin,

and he’s talking about online fame and youtube content.

[Jason] What we're doing, in podcasts...

this doesn't seem that weird to me because this just

seems like a radio show- you could have had this show

in 1935 and it would sounded ABOUT the same only the

subjects would be different, right?

[Shannon] The first video essay I ever started, though I never finished it,

was around 2012 and it was on Pargin’s book 'John Dies at the End',

which is a horror comedy where the two main characters

are based on Pargin and his best friend,

and I’ve been a fan of his writing for many years,

so to hear him speak on the phenomenon is really interesting,

especially because he considers himself such an outsider to it,

despite having been such a big part of internet culture

through Cracked for so long.

He’s a fan of the Milwaukee-based production company Red Letter Media

and even as he insults them he describes their appeal.

[Jason] It's the four of them or the five of them hanging out and just

watching a series of movies and videos and just...

they're drinking the whole time and they just sort of riff on it

and it's very loose, it's not scripted-

there's nothing to it because it's not replacing

what Johnny Carson was to, y'know, my parents.

Or, at least, I don't feel like that.

I-it's not, watching a, y'know, a comedian interview a celebrity

or watching a very talented person perform.

It REALLY is just the hanging out with some guys that are

fun to hang around with.

And I didn't grasp that until the last

year, and started clicking around and realized that almost all

of the most popular channels are really just that- they're very

unpolished...

Like, a hundred years ago, in terms of that being entertainment,

I don't know if anybody could have predicted. But, I also

find myself enjoying them. Like, I find- these are some of these

shows I look forward to WAY more than, y'know, like a network

sitcom that I watch like Brookyln Nine-Nine, which is like a

mildly entertaining sitcom...but, yeah! I would rather hang

out with these guys for half an hour than watch that. And one of

those things took $7,000,000 to film and a hundred people

on the crew and the other was just a webcam and some

guys, y'know- they edit out the dead spots.

[Shannon] ...and their creepy fanbase.

[Jason] If you go look at the subreddit devoted to their group or

to any place where- in the youtube comments, it's all people...

speculating on their personal lives, or one of them has lost a

bunch of weight or talking about, y'know, "WHY DID RICH

SHAVE THE BEARD?!? HE LOOKS MUCH BETTER WITH-" Like, it's

clear that

they're talking about them as if it's part of their social circle.

As opposed to-

if they were- if you had the comments underneath, y'know,

like, a Louis CK stand-up bit. It would all be about his

performance, y'know, "Well, this wasn't as good as the special

last year!" or, "I think he's-" y'know, "He needs to-" it's not

like that. It's all in terms of, "These are friends!"

[Jack O'Brien] That's something I've noticed

in the comments directed at me

and just in the comments section of our articles

is that I think some people, a lot of the appeal is feeling like

"Oh, these are just people like me and I'm one of their friends and-"

speaking in a familiar way.

[Daniel O'Brien] We do get that for After Hours an awful lot.

After Hours is one of our most successful shows

and its pretty much the motto of what Jason's talking about

but it has a little more polish to it 'cuz it's clearly scripted.

But, I mean the comments are always about how Katy cut her hair

or...Michael grew his beard and things like that

and has almost nothing to do with the content of the video itself.

So, I think what it is- it's a conversation-

you find a conversation you would like to be having

and then you just listen to it.

It's like inviting those people into your room

and then you're just not participating, you're not adding to it at all.

[Jason] It breaks every rule of entertainment any of us learned when

we were in entertainment school. All of us have our degrees in

entertainment.

It's four schlubby guys, y'know, at least one of them didn't

shave, y'know, two of them are overweight. They laugh out

loud at each other's jokes. They're getting increasingly drunk

while you watch... y'know the set is just, like, a curtain behind

them... it violates everything- if you tried to pitch this to a

network, no single element of this would work. Like, American

networks are the ones who said the three guys on Top Gear

are not attractive to- host a show in America. Like, no,

everyone's gotta look like a model!

And you would have a much worse, much slicker version

of it. And, every bit of it- none of it could have been

focus tested.

What you feel, when you watch it, is 100% different...

then even watching something like Mystery Science Theater

3000 where you've still got a team full of professional

comedy writers and comedians writing, y'know, riffing

on jokes, making it tight, y'know, making sure there's a beat

every few seconds, where it's polished. Whereas, here, you'll

have long stretches where they'll diverge on some topic or

whatever. And it works because it is, like, just eavesdropping

on a group of friends talking. And I don't think you could

replicate it on purpose.

[Jack] Yeah, I think that's what podcasting is a lot,

and I've noticed that people, y'know, when they've known each other for a while

that really helps my ability to like a podcast,

as opposed to when you have like... a stranger interviewing another stranger.

[Jack] And it's TRULY new and it's something that- It's hard to

explain, like, my wife doesn't watch anything like this, but if

I was, y'know, explaining, like, "Ah, yeah, y'know, I'm just

watchin'- I'm editing an article in the background, these

guys are just talkin' about a video game they played-

y'know, I'm watching them talk about it". It's very hard to

explain why that would hold any entertainment value for

anybody, but,

if had, like, a pie chart, of the minutes of total

entertainment enjoyed by people under age 25 or whatever,

this now has to represent like a quarter of it!

Just, the sheer number of subscribers and the sheer number of

how many BILLIONS of minutes these youtubers get watched-

They have to have blown away network TV cumulatively

a long time ago.

[Shannon] From the description of a more recent episode

of their Wheel of the Worst series-

"Your inbred flyover friends from the Midwest

(that you’ll never meet or be friends with)

spin a wooden wheel with obscure and terrible videos on it.

Watch them watch the tapes! Get drunk! And embarrass themselves!"

The 'Instant Adoring Boyfriend' is a VHS tape Red Letter Media covered

in a very early episode of Wheel of the Worst in 2013.

[Rich Evans] And nang next up

we have the Incredible Instant Boring Boyfriend.

[Jay] Adoring Boyfriend! -Oh! Oh...

I thought it said, uh boring...

[Jay] It's yet to be decided if it's boring or not,

but I think this is some sort of virtual boyfriend

where you put it in and he talks to you.

[Rich] For incredibly lonely women.

[Jay] I-Eh...but not just women,

I'm sure there's some men that would be uh...

he looks like a handsome fella.

[Mike] So: "At last! The man who says all the right things,

who is considerate, charming, gorgeous...

...and madly in love with you! Sounds too good to be true?

Well he's here, and he's all yours!"

[Rich] I mean basically it's just a guy looking at the camera

and he's gonna pretend he's your boyfriend.

[Jay] What it really felt like

is a 50 year old businessman, uh, cynically saying

"What can we release that depressing women with no lives

will purchase to make themselves feel like they have a companion?"

[Jessi] She just wants that companionship, she just wants to feel like someone

is there with her while she's also reading.

[Rich] Thirty minutes at a time?

[Mike] Yeah but that- the woman that's that sad

and that lonely and that delusional, where she puts on a video

of a young guy pretending he's her boyfriend...

that's like a 1% on the market.

[Jay] Oh he's gonna propose! [Rich] Nooo...

[Boyfriend] Will you marry me?

*Romantic music swell*

[Shannon] Comments on that video and elsewhere remark as a...'joke'

that Red Letter Media's videos and the tape serve the same purpose.

Especially in darker places online, like 4chan,

Red Letter Media and the like’s videos

are also referred to as “friend simulators”.

There’s a similar “joke” on lots of Red Letter Media’s videos,

along with videos of edgelord youtubers, about suicide.

Especially when a video is new, it’ll get comments about how the person commenting

is putting off killing themselves for [insert length of video].

It’s repeated over and over and over again.

Over and over...and over.

And inevitably with plenty of likes encouraging it.

It’s as if the joke never gets old. Almost as if it isn’t really a “joke”.

And there’s absolutely no indication, ever, from any of the Red Letter Media crew

that they want or would appreciate comments on their appearance or personal lives,

or people using their content as a self-harm delay method,

but those comments roll in anyway.

In fandom, the word “stan” relates to being

“an overzealous or obsessive fan of a particular celebrity”.

It originates from the Eminem song of the same name

about a frustrated fan of Eminem’s who,

♫ See, I'm just like you in a way ♫

♫ I never knew my father, neither ♫

♫ He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her ♫

♫ I can relate to what you're saying in your songs ♫

♫ So when I have a s****y day, I drift away and put them on ♫

♫ 'Cause I don't really got s*** else ♫

♫ So that s*** helps when I'm depressed ♫

♫ I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest ♫

[Shannon] ...after not hearing back from his hero,

emulates his music and kills himself and his pregnant girlfriend.

♫ And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call- ♫

♫ I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off the wall! ♫

[Eminem] DAMN

Basically, it's just about crazy fanmail that I get from people

and it's about, like, a kid who is really sick,

y'know what I'm sayin'? And

takes everything that I say literally. Like if I say

I'm gonna slit my wrists, he wants to slit his wrists. It's like-

everything that I say, he can relate to. It's like he finally found

somebody that he can relate to. So, at the end of the song,

um... he ends up committing suicide, and driving his girl off a cliff

and it's, like, really crazy.

But, it was a song- it's kind of like a message to the fans to let

them know that... y'know what I'm sayin', like,

everything that I say is not meant to be taken literally.

-Do you get letters like this? -Yeah, I get crazy letters like that.

That's why I was saying-

y'know, I don't underst- like, all this is crazy to me.

Y'know what I'm sayin'? I never knew that I was going to have

any of this. This is all... this is all, y'know,

a little bit much for me.

This is the best part- "I actually have a gold-plated ring that

I wear and I pretend I'm engaged to him."

-...wow... -Isn't that nice?

How old is she? Twelve?

[Shannon] There are ways to talk about or reach out to a celebrity

that are flattering and endearing,

and there are ways that are creepy and invasive.

Molly Lewis wrote a song for Stephen Fry, gay comedian and actor,

about how she wanted to bear his child.

♫ I've got those child-bearing hips ♫

♫ You always hear so much about ♫

♫ I have permission from my boyfriend- ♫

♫ And he'd like to help you out... ♫

[Shannon] The song is obviously tongue-in-cheek and when she performed it

the night he won the Outstanding Lifetime Achievement Award in Cultural Humanism

from the Humanist Chaplaincy at Harvard,

she was much more distraught and embarrassed than he was.

[Molly] Hello, uh Mr. Fry, uh, my name is Molly-

[Fry] I know...

*Audience clapping and cheering*

♫ Oh, Stephen Fry, I hope you'll tell us why ♫

♫ You wouldn't want, someday, maybe, ♫

♫ To let me have your baby! ♫

♫ We adore you, dear! I come before you, here ♫

♫ To be the only woman you will ever need- ♫

♫ And my fertility is nearly guaranteed- ♫

♫ 'cause I have all the tools that you require to breed- ♫

*audience laughs*

♫ -so, send along your seed! ♫

*audience laughs*

[Shannon] Gabriel Gundacker wrote an album about wanting to meet Richard Dreyfuss.

♫ I've tried hard to meet you, Mr. Dreyfuss ♫

♫ I've sang songs and tweeted at Richard Dreyfuss ♫

♫ But so far it's been a lengthy process for nothing ♫

♫ Where you at? Say hello (hello) ♫

♫ I don't wanna go on a date, Richard ♫

♫ I just want to meet you face to face, Richard ♫

♫ And I know you've got some free time on your plate, Richard ♫

♫ 'Cause your friend's directing Raiders sequels ♫

♫ Not Close Encounters prequels ♫

♫ I've treated you better than I've ever treated ladies and ♫

♫ I'm in a darker place than you were in the eighties when ♫

♫ You shot Whose Life Is It Anyway ♫

♫ But you don't remember a single day, well I do ♫

♫ And I can tell you about it ♫

♫ I can tell you about ♫

♫ ALL YOUR MOVIES! ♫

♫ I'VE SEEN INSERTS! AND IT WAS ♫

♫ NOT THAT GREAT ♫

♫ BUT YOU WERE GREAT IN IT ♫

♫ I stayed up late to finish it ♫

I'm familiar with your entire filmography, quiz me!

Okay, let's see, what movie was I in in 1993?

*drumroll*

Lost in Yonkers!

[Shannon] A little weirder and more insistent, but still clearly an experiment

and a harmless joke from a talented comedian

and not the call of a stalker.

[Richard] Are you the guy who's been following

-and asking to meet me? -Yes, that's me.

-I'm so glad to meet you! -Very good to meet you.

*audience claps while piano plays uptempo*

-Hi there, very nice to meet you. -Very nice!

[Richard] It's good to know that you're not a stalker.

*audience laughs*

[Marcus Dibble] I woke up to a knock on the door

and I was 'Oh, might be the postman, might be a bit of mail', not too sure,

got up, all dopey unnnnnhhhhh

open the door...

*puts hand on counter*

to Dibble fans.

How the f*** did you find my house?!

[Pewdiepie] Since I started doing Youtube, I've lived in six different locations

and I've had 'fans'...

coming up to each and every single one of them.

And here's the big surprise:

it's f***ing weird.

It's so weird, it's so... f***ing weird.

It's so weird. It's uhh...uahhh-

[Marcus] There's been a lot of Youtubers that have had to move house

just because they have fans coming to the front door,

like standing outside waiting for them to leave.

[Deji] -thankfully they couldn't, but they were trying to climb over the gate.

Luckily, I've got some of this on footage.

One guy was-were literally sitting by my house, by my gate, for like an hour.

[Matt Shea] I've had a lot of people come to my house,

and they're not all bad experiences per se, but uh...

it's just generally not a good idea to go to a Youtuber's house,

that's what I'm trying to say, please...don't come to my house.

[Pewdiepie] Just stop.

Picture it like this: I don't know who you are,

but I know that you found my address online

and thought "Hey, I'm gonna invite myself over".

[Marcus] You maybe recognized the tree out the front, you know,

you maybe recognized a letterbox or a park or...some type of-a little blade of grass,

you even recognize a little blade of grass- ah!

I know that blade of grass, Dibble lives there,

let's go and knock on his door and visit him.

[Social Repose] ...and if you do decide

to like randomly come to one of your favorite creator's houses,

dont...just don't do it, um...it's- feels really violating.

[Deji] We have to fit f***ing blinds in our windows so you just leave us alone.

[Pewdiepie] This was when I lived in Italy, and some guy that was on holiday in Italy

came by our house. My girlfriend's mom opened the door

and was like "There's a friend out there, you have to go!"

and I was like "Ok."

You know why it says after some waiting?

Because I didn't want to f***ing go out.

I was like "This is crazy, what the f*** are they doing here?"

[Social Repose] You just- You never know the intention of a fan,

um, who kinda breaches that line.

Like, they could just really really enjoy your stuff

or they could be coming to kill you because they love you too much.

[Pewdiepie] He was gonna interview me, but he was really bad at interviewing.

[Matt] I've had so many experiences

with people who just don't seem to understand boundaries.

One night, I was sittin' in my hot tub in my backyard,

havin' a couple of drinks with my wife and my friends,

and out of nowhere, some guy climbs up my fence and he starts talking to us,

and I'm like "Dude, what are you doing? Why are you here?"

He told me his name and then he just-

he gave me a weird look and he said "Hey, are you Matt Shea?"

and I was like "Ok, so obviously you already knew who I was

before you climbed up my fence and peeked into my backyard."

Here I am, sittin' down in my swim wear, in my hot tub,

y'know, kind of a weird-really weird time to have someone talk to you,

especially when they're hoppin' up your fence.

[Deji] And parents who bring their children to my house too-

Think you guys should know better. Respect my privacy!

[Pewdiepie] I've even had parents coming over with their kids.

I've had people yell outside my house, I had school classes come outside.

Just because you found my address doesn't mean you found an invitation

for you to come over.

[Matt] You can never, ever make friends with someone like that.

It's not gonna happen.

If you-if you come to someone's house,

creepily find their address, and then uh-and then expect to be friends,

it's not gonna happen.

[Boogie2988] "Well, like, what are you doing here?

You know, it's not cool to just pop in like this in the middle of a work day."

and he goes "Oh, I know, I know, but here's the thing:

I know we're gonna be friends, we're gonna be REALLY close friends,

we're gonna be BEST friends."

and I'm like "Well buddy, I've got a lot of friends as it is,

and I appreciate that, but why do you think that?"

and he's like "Well because- I will tell you something

I watch your videos all the time and I can really relate

to the stuff that you went through when you were a kid,

and I just feel like we're brothers, y'know,

and I just feel like we're people of the same cloth

and I knew that once you got to know me you and I would be really good friends"-

[Shannon] In 2011 Youtube singer Dodie Clark recorded a song

about another youtuber and how she wanted to be his friend and...

wanted to marry him.

♫ I'm not quite sure ♫

♫ What I should do ♫

♫ I'm ever so ♫

♫ In love with you ♫

♫ But I have to stop, and clear my head ♫

♫ Your eyes don't meet mine, they meet a camera's instead ♫

♫ So I'll never be Mrs. Coollike after all, so it seems ♫

♫ Charlieissocoollike, one day you'll be my friend! ♫

♫ And we'll sing a duet and I will bet that ♫

♫ My happiness will not end! ♫

[Shannon] even including “Yes, I’m slightly in love with Charlie,

as are 18726...other...girls HEHEH" in the description

and calling it “slightly stalkerish”.

It worked out for her and she did end up recording a duet with him.

Maybe she’s a perfectly sweet person, but I know no matter

how cute and sweet it was I would not be super responsive

to a song about being in love with me from a stranger.

Earlier this year a Serbian band recorded a song for Clark

called “I’m just trying to say hi”,

where the singer complains she never responded to his email

and asked people to send her this song about her.

♫ So i... wrote an e-mail, thought it was neat ♫

♫ Thought she'd reply, turns out she didn't. ♫

♫ There's a thousand of 'em writing I just don't have the luck ♫

♫ The situation is stupid well I'll be stupid as ♫

♫ Will you be my wingman and help my message fly? ♫

♫ I gotta try to shoot straight to the sky ♫

♫ Please send her this song. Don't tell her why ♫

♫ I would be so kind-

♫ I'm just trying to say hi. ♫

[Shannon] She snapchatted and commented and tweeted her mixed feelings about it,

[Clark] What's happening?!

There's a f***ing band, wha-??

Like there's different sections, I think he does a monologue at this point,

and then...it goes like back into the band.

It's just so- there's...a stage light.

It's just so much. It's so much.

Who are all these people!? I don't understand!

What's she playing? What??

WHAT THE F-

[Shannon] saying stuff like “yo being well known online is weird”

and “can’t tell if i’m creeped out, impressed, amazed, confused, worried,

astounded, irritated, grateful

i think all of them lol”.

At least six of this dude’s friends enabled him to make

a highly insistant and inappropriate song for his internet crush.

I’ve used a bunch of Bo Burnham song clips, so let’s switch it up

and talk about John Darnielle.

Darnielle is best-known as the founder of the band the Mountain Goats.

On his album The Sunset Tree, Darnielle explored having grown up

with an abusive stepfather.

It’s an intense and moving album and one that has meant a lot to a lot of people-

Up the Wolves and This Year are the kinds of songs

multiple people I know personally have described as life-saving.

♫ I down shifted as I pulled into the driveway ♫

♫ The motor screaming out stuck in second gear ♫

♫ The scene ends badly, as you might imagine ♫

♫ In a cavalcade of anger and fear ♫

♫ There will be feasting ♫

♫ and dancing ♫

♫ In Jerusalem next year ♫

♫ I am going to make it through this year ♫

♫ If it kills me ♫

♫ I'm gonna get myself in fighting trim ♫

♫ Scope out every angle of unfair advantage ♫

♫ I'm gonna bribe the officials ♫

♫ I'm gonna kill all the judges ♫

♫ It's gonna take you people years ♫

♫ To recover from all of the damage ♫

[Shannon] In general, Darnielle’s autobiographical songs

about overcoming abuse, isolation, and drug addiction

have had a tremendous effect on his fans and he has a religiously devoted fanbase.

Beat The Champ is a later Mountain Goats album

that is ostensibly a concept album about wrestling

but is described by Darnielle as, quote,

“really more about death and difficult-to-navigate interior spaces

than wrestling”.

This album is perfect for this discussion

because here we have a man thousands of people have basically deified

and here’s his album about characters in wrestling-

who they are vs who they’re playing, how they get lost in performance,

how this performance influences their lives, both good and bad-

and it’s imbued with plenty of the same autobiographical material

that made The Sunset Tree such a resonant success.

In wrestling there are baby faces, or faces, and there are heels.

[John Darnielle] That is, uh- that's good guys and bad guys, right?

The heel is the bad guy and the face, which is short for

"babyface", is the good guy.

[Shannon] A heel turn is when a face “turns” into a heel-

[John] It happens, from time to time, if you are a good guy,

that you grow weary of being a good guy.

It begins to grate at you.

[Shannon] turning away from adoration and love and doing the right thing

and turning toward relishing in being a villain reviled by the audience.

Wrestling terms, by the way, have plenty of use outside of wrestling-

when feminist youtuber Laci Green got reddddpilllled

*Shannon chuckles*

I saw her sudden shift very aptly described as a heel turn, and “kayfabe”,

a wrestling term that essentially means staying in-character

and maintaining the persona, the illusion, and the fourth wall-

has plenty of application outside of wrestling.

Heel Turn 2 is a Mountain Goats song

that’s about someone at the end of their rope giving up on doing good.

♫ Spent too much of my life now trying to play fair ♫

♫ Throw my better self overboard, ♫

♫ Shoot at him when he comes up for air ♫

♫ Stay good under pressure ♫

♫ For years and years and years and years ♫

♫ President of the fan club up there ♫

♫ Choking on his tears ♫

[Shannon] Werewolf Gimmick is about someone who gets a little too into their persona.

♫ Get told to maybe dial it back ♫

♫ Backstage later on ♫

♫ Everyone still in this building right now: ♫

♫ Dead before the dawn! ♫

[Shannon] Foreign Object is, uh, MOSTLY

about stabbing someone in the eye with a foreign object in the ring,

♫ I'm gonna stab you in the eye with a foreign object. ♫

♫ I PERSONALLY will stab you in the eye ♫

♫ With a foreign object. ♫

[Shannon] but even then it still has great lines about desperation

and doing something for yourself versus for an audience.

♫ March through the red mist, never get my vision clear ♫

♫ Learn to love this kind of atmosphere ♫

♫ Strike funny poses, keep my weapon hand low ♫

♫ Whip my head around a little, get blood on the front row ♫

♫ Sink my teeth into your scalp take a nice big bite ♫

♫ Save nothing for the cameras, play the angles all night ♫

♫ One of these days my legs will both snap like twigs ♫

♫ If you can't beat 'em make 'em bleed like pigs ♫

'The Legend of Chavo Guerrero' is about Darnielle’s favorite wrestler as a child,

Chavo Guerrero.

The song- especially when paired with its music video-

is on its surface an upbeat and sincere ode to Darnielle’s childhood hero,

as well as an ode to wrestling fandom in general.

A thorough look at this song, however, reveals something darker and more personal.

It starts off subtly, with lines like-

♫ Look high, it's my last hope ♫

♫ Chavo Guerrero, ♫

♫ Coming off the top rope! ♫

[Shannon] And-

♫ Before a black-and-white TV in the middle of the night ♫

♫ I'm lying on the floor, I'm bathed in blue light, ♫

♫ And the telecast's in Spanish, I can understand some ♫

♫ And I need justice in my life, ♫

♫ HERE IT COMES! ♫

[Shannon] Then, with greater specificity-

♫ He was my hero back when I was a kid ♫

♫ You let me down but Chavo never once did! ♫

♫ You ran him down to try to get beneath my skin ♫

♫ Now your ashes are scattered on the wind ♫

♫ I heard his son got famous and he went nationwide ♫

♫ Coast to coast, with his dad by his side ♫

♫ I don't know if that's true, but I've been told ♫

♫ It's real sweet to grow old! ♫

[Shannon] Darnielle’s abusive stepfather would cheer for heels

and openly make fun of Darnielle’s heroes.

Guerroro himself is in the video

at the moment Darnielle looks directly into the camera

and says that he is happy his stepfather is dead.

♫ You called him names to try to get beneath my skin ♫

♫ Now your ashes are scattered on the wind ♫

[Shannon] The album was released in 2015 and Guerrero died in 2017

and it’s absolutely wonderful

that Darnielle was able to include his childhood hero

who had helped him endure abuse,

especially on such a fun album and such a complex song.

John Cena has fulfilled over 500 Make-A-Wish requests.

It’s pretty incredible that he’s been able to use his public persona

to give a tremendous gift to five hundred children

with life-threatening medical conditions.

Logan Paul, a tremendous idiot real-life heel,

has done multiple Make-A-Wish fulfillments himself.

Him being an idiot doesn’t take away the meaning that those visits had

for those now-dead children,

even if he exploited the dying children as clickbait for views.

A clickbait thumbnail...cancer...

From an ESPN piece on Cena-

""When he was diagnosed, everybody would tell him you have to be strong

and you can never give up,” Maria Lanzer said.

“He was like, `Wow, mommy, that’s what John Cena says.’

I’m like, `See, if a wrestler tells you to never give up,

then you can’t give up. You have to fight and be strong.”

Many families stay in touch with Cena, sometimes writing

that the time spent helped turn the child’s attitude

and physical condition around.

He also receives heartfelt, thankful letters

for brightening days for children who eventually died.

“Those are always difficult to read,” Cena says.

"But at the same time, the strength of the parents in sending me a message

about how much the time that I spent with their child meant to them,

it’s very special.”"

A WWE piece states that ""John Cena’s slogan, ‘Never Give Up,’

is a constant source of inspiration for wish kids and serves as a reminder

to stay strong and keep pushing through the difficult times,” says David Williams,

Make-A-Wish America president and CEO.

“The fact that he has had the sustained success required to reach 500 wishes

speaks volumes about the type of person John is

and the quality of the wish experience he delivers.”

“There is no more humbling experience than a child who could ask

for anything in the world asking to meet me,” said WWE Superstar John Cena.

“I have faced some of the toughest Superstars in WWE history

and I’ve never encountered more bravery or toughness than I see

in each wish kid that I meet.

It is inspiring to see the impact

that granting wishes can have and I look forward to granting 500 more.”"

It’s bizarre to me to see the life and death struggles of children

and the language of branding so nakedly intertwined.

There are also loads of problematic aspects of wrestling

and the myriad ways the WWE has mistreated its performers,

and that’s all important and relevant and something that should be considered

in any analysis or description of professional wrestling,

as with any spectacle that spectators get something out of

and form parasocial bonds with, without necessarily considering

the toll on performers.

On the Mountain Goats Facebook page someone recently posted

“I am (censored)’s mother. He passed yesterday morning.

Minutes after I played Up the Wolves for him.

He had a hard battle with leukemia.

I can only be grateful for your part in bringing him peace.”

From a creepy thread on the Red Letter Media subreddit-

"I was having a really hard time dealing with my father’s illness.

He was in and out of the ICU, getting multiple procedures,

unable to really take care of himself,

there wasn’t much he could do beyond sit around / sleep.

On a whim, I decided to show him some BOTW stuff,

and he fell in love with the guys.

It was nice to be able to enjoy something with my dad again,

even if it was just some dudes on the internet talking about bad movies.

Despite the difficulties we faced as a family,

we were able to laugh and smile together again.

I owe the RLM guys more than I ever thought I would."

I haven’t verified the claims in those comments

but they’re ubiquitous enough with content creators of a certain level

that it becomes clear that celebrities and media figures have a huge impact

on people who are genuinely struggling.

The delayed suicide jokes on edgy videos and the sweet sincere comments

about ill or dying relatives are all in the same vein.

You could make videos of you watching VHS tapes or goofy vlogs

or let’s play videos, or videos of you eating food,

or a song on your abusive stepfather album and it could,

completely unbeknownst to you, make a substantial difference

in the life of someone who is really suffering.

It isn’t necessarily just one-way, either.

Lisa Williams was a Walking Dead fan who recently died of cancer

and cast members seemed to genuinely mourn her absence as well-

there was a mutually meaningful connection between her and the show she was a fan of.

Youtubers like Markiplier are also very active Make-A-Wish contributers.

I grew up on the internet so I understand Markiplier’s appeal

even if I don’t watch his videos or Jacksepticeye’s

or Pewdiepie’s recreationally,

but I do have to wonder what it’s like to be disconnected from technology

and unfamiliar with it and find out a possibly dying child who gets one wish,

who could wish for anything, wants to use that wish

to meet up with a man who plays video games on the internet for money.

I had initially only planned to talk about Markiplier

in the context of Make-A-Wish contributions,

but I found various clips about him and Jacksepticeye

in the context of RPF, or real person fanfiction.

[Ethan Nestor] What is this? 'Archive Of Our Own'?

Ooo, woooahHh, what is this?

'Works in Ethan Nestor'.

Ok, oo is this- is this like fanfics or something?

'You find...fate to be unaccept...'

What is this...

♫ I don't know...what this is. ♫

♫ I don't know what this is ♫

[Shannon] RPF is fanfiction written about actual people, sometimes with self-inserts

(fiction starring “you” and a character)

and sometimes just writing fiction about real-life people, often sexually explicit.

RPF-style self-insert quiz stories used to be popular in the early 2000s as well.

Some folks you might never expect to have that much of an invasive, obsessive fanbase

have RPF written about them.

Dodie RPF? Yeah.

Hockey player RPF? Yeah.

Charlie Brooker and David Mitchell RPF?

Brooker said “Yes. Someone sent me some. I did read a bit

but not very far because I thought: I don’t want this in my head.”

[David Mitchell] 'Is that what you're really like?'

interviewers wanted to know.

'Lots of women find you attractive, you know - just look at the internet.'

It was absolutely true that, by googling my name,

I could find lots of examples of people saying that they fancied me,

usually (they added) to their surprise.

But then some people will fancy anyone who's on telly.

That just turns them on.

As, sometimes, does being funny.

As does being unattainable.

As does not being there 'in real life',

all wrong/normal/unglamorous/ unhilarious/hairy/human like people are

when you actually know them.

I get it a lot on Twitter- people saying they fancy me

or asking their friends if it's 'wrong' that they fancy me,

which is definitely a backhanded compliment,

or possibly a backhanded insult.

It's all a bit of an ego boost, I suppose.

But I think that moment of saying they fancied me

would always be the high point of the relationship,

so there's no need to take it any further.

It dawned on me gradually that quite a lot of people who I didn't know

were interested in my private life, or my apparent lack of one.

I resented the interest.

I didn't think- I don't think-

that the specifics of my private life were anyone's business.

I was just a purveyor of comedy.

If people liked it, they could keep watching.

If not, they should stop.

I didn't want to encourage people to buy in too much to 'what I was really like'.

They couldn't know me personally and I didn't want to be trapped

into creating the illusion that they could -

an illusion that might subsequently be shattered

if I was caught on film strangling a cat.

[Shannon] I love fandom and fan expression but using actual people with actual lives,

especially micro-celebrities like let's players and British showrunners

and comedians who did not sign up

for the same kind of established megastar social contract

with its invasive, obsessive fan culture the way a George Clooney

or Kim Kardashian did, using them in a public way

and a way that’s sexually explicit- is inappropriate.

-They're not together, they're never gonna- -No! IT WILL BE REAL-

[Shannon] Neil Cicierega, one of the most prolific content creators on the internet,

found out about queer teenagers on tumblr having arguments over mistaking him

for a lesbian and whether or not they should be attracted to him.

Cicierega is barely over 30, but he’s been on the internet making videos and music

for at least seventeen years.

He’s certainly a ubiquitous figure but there’s nothing that he’s done

that would entitle someone to obsess over his appearance in that way

or try to rebuke him when he expresses discomfort

over being treated like some kind of public yardstick of sexuality-

he’s a PERSON, and he’s a person who is ONLINE ALL THE TIME,

and everyone participating knew that there was a high likelihood

of him reading what they said. And he did.

Here’s a clip of Jacksepticeye talking about RPF-

[Jack] 'What are your thoughts about Septiplier?'

Oh god.

I mean, what do you- what are people expecting me to say?

Septiplier's a weird thing, 'cuz it started off

as me and Mark just being good friends, and then...

it was kinda just like a buddy-buddy kind of thing

and we were all happy and everything,

and then people took it way too f***ing far.

Septiplier didn't ruin me and Mark's friendship or anything like that

so don't feel too bad about it, please!

But...I-I hated seeing people do that and then other people

were attacking others saying "You f***ing ruined their friendship

because of Septiplier", which it wasn't the case, like,

don't be d***s to each other, um...

it was just a case of like the whole...

the homosexual side of Septiplier that kinda got a bit out of control,

and then even when me and Mark had said "Please don't do that.

We don't mind Septiplier, but please don't draw us like f***ing each other."

Then people went ahead anyway and were like "Oh, but it's so cute, look!"

And then people started roleplaying,

and writing all these fanfictions about it,

that kinda seemed to go against anything that we had thought about

or had said.

Come on, at some point we have to grow up

and be like "Yeah, this kinda went a bit too far."

I think everyone involved in that kinda knows that at this point,

otherwise you wouldn't be talking about it

and otherwise you wouldn't be asking about these types of questions, but...

as far as like the pictures of just me and Mark like hanging out

and being like good friends and every-

Those were awesome, I loved that!

That was cool, it's just some people had to s*** in the swimming pool.

Some people were just peeing in the swimming pool,

and that's fine 'cuz everyone pees in the swimming pool,

but somebody had to come in and take a big 'ol s***

and then ruin the swimming pool for everybody.

I still love you guys, don't worry, I don't hate anybody

who did that kind of stuff,

and I don't...condemn anybody or anything like that,

it's just one of those things that went too far.

'Do you ship Amyplier (Amy and Mark)?'

I mean, that's the thing, they're a real couple.

You don't have to ship them one way or not, they're still a thing.

With the Septiplier thing, it was like some people actually thought

me and Mark were actually gonna be a couple,

which we said clearly like no, never gonna happen,

like why did anybody think that?

Um...

and then it's a case of like, real couples come along.

It's like me and my girlfriend and everyone's like:

"Oh, I ship Septiishu."

It's like, well...

we're an actual thing.

It's not really a thing you have to... ship yes or no on.

And then it's not a thing that we need people's...

we don't need people's validation on it whether they ship it or not,

we're still gonna be a couple.

It's the weirdest thing, it's one of those things that comes with...

like...like, popularity and...

influence online kinda thing- it just, it boggles my mind.

[Shannon] Also I found what appears to be

Jacksepticeye and Markiplier Make-A-Wish RPF because f*** everything.

After finding the RPF clip I was clicking around

and found a compilation video of Jacksepticeye crying while playing games.

It starts off with footage of him playing That Dragon Cancer,

which is a game I backed on Kickstarter in 2014 but have never played

because I’ve never had a moment where I felt emotionally prepared

to engage with it.

*soft piano music*

[Jack] This is sad, because...

it reminds me of the last few days when my granny was alive,

and...she didn't die of cancer or anything, but...she...

she was locked away in like a hospital for the last few months of her life,

and... she didn't really recognize anybody anymore.

She was-she was super, like, aware of everything-

*Jack drops his mic*

God, sorry, that's gonna sound terrible.

She was super aware of everything, like, her entire life

and right up until she went into hospital, but as soon as she went into hospital...

and she was starting to get treated for uh,

I can't remember what it was she had, she had something in her leg

that spread through her body and affected her blood,

but she was in hospital for a few months before she died,

and...her mind just completely went,

and...I remember going in one time...

with my sister to see her, and we were talkin' to her,

and my granny was like "Is Sean gonna come in to visit us?"

I was sitting right next to her and she didn't know who I was.

Uh, that was really sad.

Again, she didn't die of cancer or anything,

it's just reminded me of it, and I need to move on

or I won't be able to move on.

*soft piano continuing*

And just reading all the notes is really sad.

And I feel sorry for anyone who has lost family or loved ones,

just in general but especially to cancer,

because...it's not a nice thing.

And the last...the last while with someone who has cancer is not nice either.

*exhales* Ok.

I'm sorry about knocking over the mic as well,

I grabbed my sleeve and I hit the mic,

I can see the waveform right now and it's just a giant spike.

*ambient strings play and then recede*

'Thank you for playing'.

'for Joel Evan Green'. JEG.

Oh, he was real.

I was really hoping all that time it wasn't real,

that it was just a story.

[Shannon] I was one of the 250 people

who put a small memento for a lost loved one in the game.

I actually watched a playthrough of the mementos on Youtube just now

(at the time of writing this paragraph, I mean, not of editing the video),

and started crying.

Bizarrely and completely coincidentally at the time of me writing this

it’s the day after the anniversary of this specific person’s passing.

What does it mean that I can watch a man I’ve never met or interacted with cry

while talking about his dead grandmother while playing a game two parents made

to express their feelings about their very young son dying of cancer,

a game a very very very small part of I paid forty dollars

to include a permanent embedded reference to someone that I cared about?

What does it mean that coincidentally this whole weird journey happened

within 24 hours of the anniversary of a nightmarish day in my life

and was kicked off by me researching gay fanfiction

of people who play video games online for a living?

I stopped crying and went back after my whole bizarre

emotional death-game-cancer roller coaster and finished the compilation video.

It ends with a clip from this video-

[Jack] I'm gonna talk to you. *laughs*

'the character you got in the bad end was inspired by what I saw

in a lot of messsages of the fans who are in this game,

and by people I see in the comments of not only your videos,

but on tumblr, twitter, deviantart, facebook...

"I know you will never see this message" "I'm sorry if this message bothers you"

Some people feel like they do not contribute at all to any community,

or they are insignificant to a. the youtuber, and b. the fanbase,

because they never made it into a vlog or never got to talk to you

ther inspirations face to face... they think they don't matter,

and that is one of the saddest things ever, or at least to me.'

I-It also it- Sorry...

It also gets to me in a big way as well, because I get so many messages from people

saying 'You're never gonna read this message'

or... 'You never reply to my messages' or them feeling like they don't matter

to anybody, and that really breaks my heart because you guys really do matter...to me-

not just to me, but to the community as a whole.

Like just being here, being on the channel watching every day, commenting,

liking, sharing with your friends,

just being on Tumblr, Twitter, or anything, interacting with everybody else,

it means so much more then you think it does.

You might feel like it doesn't-

and I'm so sorry if I never reply to your messages

or you've been subscribed since I had ten subscribers

and I've never, like, replyed to anything.

I try my very best to get to as many people as I can,

it's so hard...a lot of the time,

because there's so many of you, and I'm very happy about that

but just please know that I never ignore people,

it's never a case of seeing the messages and purposefully not replying.

I read as many as I can, I read a lot more

then I actually get time to reply to,

so just know that I've likely seen your message, I just can't reply to it, so...

thank you to everybody who's ever done anything for me,

whether- even the people who hate me, who have just come to the channel

and watched for five seconds, just thank you

for at least clicking on the channel or anything at all.

Thank you all for being here, I really...

I really don't know what I'd ever do without any of you any more,

because I'm so used to like waking up every day

and like going on Tumblr, going on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram,

and just seeing messages from people, on Youtube as well.

I've gotten so accustomed to that...that...

I dunno, I don't take it for granted-

I mean I guess I do in a small bit, like, if that ever just disappeared

I'd be so lost.

I wouldn't know what to do, I'd feel so alone,

because...I don't interact with people on a day-to-day basis in real life,

I go out, I go to the shop or whatever, I...like buy food,

but I never actually like... sit down with friends any more,

I don't have any friends that I meet like day-to-day or talk to or anything like that

all my interactions are based online through you guys

or through other Youtube friends, so...

just thank you for being there for me, like...

you guys say that I'm there for you all the time

and I really am very happy about that, but you guys are there for me as well every day

and you say so much nice things to me, even like in this

there were so many nice messages for me-

[Shannon] At the risk of sounding cruel and of sounding dismissive,

that clip is also profoundly sad but it’s uniquely tragic

in that what it depicts is, unlike cancer, preventable.

I’ve had some online friends for over a decade and I don’t mean “tragic”

in a way that devalues online versus face-to-face relationships.

I mean tragic in that Jacksepticeye- real name Sean McLaughlin-

has from my limited viewership of his videos seemed like a perfectly kind

and positive and funny person.

The fact that he feels this horrific weight,

this pull of these pseudo-relationships with millions of people,

that keep him from real-life relationships and, really,

any meaningful relationships outside of his Youtube circle, is horrific.

[Jack] Thank you so much.

You'll never know how grateful I am because I can never put it into words

as long as I live, I'll never be able to put it into words,

how grateful I am for this stuff, and I'm sorry...

if I've kinda got off the rails lately, with, um...

certain types of games and certain types of commentary.

I'll try to bring it back to these kind of things

where it's longer and... just, more in touch with me

where you get to know more about me, you get to listen to me a lot longer,

it's not just all about d*** jokes and like super highly edited stuff all the time.

Um...I know a lot of you really like these longer videos that are uncut and...

I'm sorry if I...like, let some of you down-

*cough* Sorry!

*exhales*

Why does McLaughlin feel the need to cater to millions of people?

Most of the comments on this compilation video

are about cancer and death,

or about the Walking Dead game segment in the middle of it.

It seems like the fact that it ends with McLaughlin crying his heart out

over not being able to please and connect with millions of people,

who are also his primary social interaction and his primary source of affirmation

and of income, without him actually knowing or being close with them,

is largely ignored, it's fine.

The fan made game he’s playing and reacting to so strongly

is called Jacksepticeye’s Paradox.

He published that video in April of 2015.

According to socialblade, he had about four million subs at that time.

That’s around the population of Los Angeles.

It’s eight or nine times the size of Atlanta, the city I live in.

I don’t know if you’ve ever been to Los Angeles, but if you have,

can you imagine being beholden to the whims of the numerical equivalent

of every single resident of that city?

McLaughlin is Irish.

The current population of Ireland is less than five million people.

That’s like him feeling beholden to his ENTIRE COUNTRY

and upset he can’t have a close friendship with every other person in that country.

I openly make fun of insincere, manipulative attempts

to garner audience trust because I find them abhorrent.

Maybe I’m naive, but I don’t think McLaughlin crying

about how much his subscribers mean to him is insincere.

A lot of let’s players overreact to jump scares in horror games, sure,

but them crying while playing video games or talking about how much fans mean to them

always reads as much more sincere because it’s easier to fake yelling at a video game

than it is to fake vulnerability.

You can see the mask going right back up at the end of his video-

the high energy and positivity,

the “smash that like button”-style brand cognizance.

[Jack] Just thank you so much, but also...

THANK YOU GUYS so much for watching this video,

if you liked it, PUNCH THE LIKE BUTTON IN THE FACE

LIKE A BOSS!!!!

and...high fives all 'round.

*Jack makes high-five noises*

but thank you guys AND I WILL SEE ALL YOU DUDES

IN THE NEXT VIDEOOOO!!!

[Shannon] Also, it's worth noting that the compilation video I saw this clip in

is a cynical remix of the same clips used in another compilation video

that was obviously thrown together by someone completely unrelated to him

or to the That Dragon Cancer developers to milk ad revenue.

Jacksepticeye’s emotional response to fans wanting more of him than he can give

reminds me of the Decemberists song 'A Singer Addresses His Audience'.

♫ 'Cause we know, we know, we belong to ya ♫

♫ We know you built your life around us ♫

♫ And would we change, we had to change some ♫

♫ You know, to belong to you ♫

[Shannon] Here’s an excerpt from a Salon interview

with lead vocalist and songwriter Colin Meloy-

"I mean, of course, it is a reflection of my trying to make sense of the relationship

between singers or entertainers and their audience,

but I also wanted to try and write in the voice of what I imagined was, like,

the lead singer of a boy band who was just trying to figure it all out —

who had never known any other life other than being onstage

and being the sort of property of a fan base.

How would they sort of view their lives and live their lives?

But then, you know, of course its populated with my own weird ideas

about what that relationship is.

But in the end, it’s a different character as opposed to myself,

and it’s an exploration of the loneliness of the singer,

and why did they do this in the first place —

sacrifice or give themselves up to the needs and the expectations

of people who don’t know them, complete strangers —

and construct their lives and the decisions they make creatively

around what those expectations might be.

And in the end, they do belong to them — it’s kind of this idea of possessiveness.

They don’t necessarily belong to themselves.

But the reason the singer was even doing it in the first place

was just really like the refrain in the end:

♫ To belong, to belong, to belong ♫

"to belong, to belong.”"

In a Rolling Stone interview, when talking about the same song, he said

"That relationship between bands or singers and their audience,

it’s kind of a funny relationship and abusive in its own right,

going both ways.

I shouldn’t say abusive, but it can be antagonistic.

I think that it’s an odd relationship, and it’s just that particular singer

trying to come to terms with that aspect of it.

Having an audience, you may want to continue doing things on your own terms,

but that becomes more challenging when there are expectations.

And audiences have more of a voice than ever with the advent of the Internet.

While I may not be cowed by it,

I can imagine a singer with thinner skin would be terrified by that.

♫ We're aware that you cut your hair ♫

♫ In a style that our drummer wore ♫

♫ In the video ♫

♫ But with fame came a mounting claim ♫

♫ For the evermore, y'know? ♫

♫ So when your bridal processional ♫

♫ Is a televised confessional ♫

♫ To the benefits of Axe shampoo ♫

♫ Y'know, we did it for you... ♫

♫ ...we did it all for you! ♫

I’ve always been humbled and flattered

that people have attached themselves to certain aspects of the Decemberists."

A less serious portrayal of similar sentiments to Stan

or the Decemberists song would be Kanye West’s I Love Kanye.

♫ I miss the sweet Kanye, chop up the beats Kanye ♫

♫ I gotta say, at that time I'd like to meet Kanye ♫

♫ See, I invented Kanye, there wasn't any Kanyes ♫

♫ And now I look and look around and there's so many Kanyes ♫

♫ I used to love Kanye, I used to love Kanye ♫

♫ I even had the pink polo, I thought I was Kanye ♫

♫ And I love you like Kanye loves Kanye ♫

*Kanye laughs*

[Shannon] Bo Burnham’s song that I use clips of in this video

is called 'Can’t Handle This (Kanye Rant)'

and it’s in part a parody of Kanye West’s self-obsessed theatrical ranting style-

[Bo] He talked about his problems,

race,

power,

his $90 T-shirts weren't selling very well, that was most of it.

I'll be honest my problems are not as high-stakes as Kanye's

but I have problems.

[Shannon] -and in part Burnham using that as template for a painful,

vulnerable exploration of his own issues.

♫ I don't think that I can handle this right ♫

♫ I don't think that I can handle this right- ♫

♫ Look at them, they're just staring at me, like, ♫

♫ "Come and watch the skinny kid with the ♫

♫ Steadily declining mental health ♫

♫ And laugh as he attempts ♫

♫ To give you what he cannot give himself!" ♫

♫ -Think that I can handle this right- ♫

♫ I don't think that I can handle this right- ♫

♫ They don't even know the half of this right- ♫

♫ They don't even know the half of it ♫

♫ But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a p****, I put on a silly show ♫

♫ I should probably just shut up ♫

♫ And do my job ♫

♫ So here I go! ♫

♫ I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit ♫

♫ I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit ♫

♫ I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew it wouldn't fit ♫

♫ I wouldn't have got half- ♫

♫ You can tell them anything if ♫

♫ You just make it funny, make it rhyme ♫

♫ And if they still don't understand you ♫

♫ then you run it one more time ♫

[Shannon] The movie Ingrid Goes West

is a great example of a parasocial relationship gone wrong.

As Red Letter Media describe in their review,

Ingrid is obsessed with the Instagram of a woman named Taylor

and from there with enough time and money

and stalking and manipulation she worms her way into Taylor’s life.

[Jay] Y'know, there's like a pressure to kind of keep posting photos

and keeping up this facade

and then um Audrey Plaza's side of wanting to achieve

-what is essentially fake. -Yeah.

[Shannon] Of note also is Ingrid’s landlord,

who has an obsession and parasocial relationship with...Batman.

[Jay] There's a very odd sex scene with her dressed up as Catwoman. *laughs*

[Shannon] Ingrid Goes West reminded me of World's Greatest Dad, which,

without spoiling either movie, is a darkly funny exploration

of who someone is versus who their fans like to believe they are.

My absolute favorite depiction of an obsessive fan, though,

because of how fun it is and how much it defies convention,

is Bartolomeo from One Piece.

One Piece is huge- it’s been going over 20 years and is a cultural juggernaut-

and I’m sure its author, Eiichiro Oda, is aware of the impact

his comic has had on millions and millions of people around the world.

Super far into the series during a tournament arc,

Bartolomeo the Cannibal is introduced.

He’s disrespectful and frightening and an over-the-top HEEL.

[English Subtitles] He ranked No.1

in the "most annoying pirate who should just go away" competition!

A pirate -

Bartolomeo!

All of you!

Go to hell!

[Shannon] He even throws a fake bomb into the audience.

*suspenseful music plays*

[English Subtitles] A ball...

[Shannon] He’s strong and scary and disrespectful

and doesn’t remotely care about his own reputation.

Fans are often portrayed as obsessive, neurotic, subservient, and effeminate-

either an Ingrid-type stalker character

or a Comic Book Guy-type miserable pedant nerd.

Bart is so fun because he is intense and intimidating

and his own person completely

and also a huge, huge nerd for and fan of the main characters.

*Bart yells*

[English Subtitles] L-L-L-L....

*eye sparkle sfx*

Luffy-senpai!

Awesome! You saved us a lot of trouble!

Please use it, Luffy-senpai!

Why're you looking the other way?

Thank you, Crest Head!

Th......a......n......k......you?!

*angelic music plays*

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank...

Not at all!

I'm the one who has to thank you for being born!

All right!

C-Can I have your autograph?!

--I said it! --My autograph?

If I bring Luffy-senpai here, can I have your autograph?

You can do that for me? I'll be counting on you!

Wait for me there!

I'm gonna bring him at the risk of my life!

*Bart yells and runs off*

He doesn't have to risk his life for it...

[Shannon] What sets this specific example apart

and why I like it so much is that 1) Bart is treated neither with disdain

nor reciprocative obsession, but instead with bemused yet friendly indifference,

which, to me, is much healthier,

[English Subtitles] Is this right, guys?!

It looks like Luffy's on this ship more than ours!

I'm so happy to hear that!

It's not a compliment!

I duplicated its bow as a homage!

It has evil eyes.

I'm sooo moved!

Look how nerdy those details are!

*gong hit*

Boss! He's so dazzling! I can barely see him!

Me, too!

*Luffy laughs*

So they're all like that...

[Shannon] and 2) he has his own stuff going on.

He isn’t trying to control or even really be a part of what he’s a fan of

and he has his own life and his own goals and his own friends

completely separate from what he’s a fan of while still maintaining his enthusiasm.

[English Subtitles] Yes! Yes! Oh, yes!

What are you excited for?! You geek! Shut your mouth!

I got my arm broken by this fool?!

[Shannon] I definitely think that all the Youtube comments here are accurate

and that Bart is an insight into how Oda sees his fans

and how he would like his fans to be.

Game designer Patrick Miller

was talking about a development conference recently and said

"the best networking advice i’ve ever heard

was to spend less time trying to win the approval of the folks you look up to

and more time cultivating relationships with your peers.

networking is a long game and the ppl who f*** with you

when you aint s*** are the ones you keep close"

To which animator and artist Aura Triolo responded-

"This and also I just wanna say ftr that in my experience,

if you exist in a space long enough making cool stuff

the peeps whose approval you want will naturally notice you

in a much healthier and less one-sided way.

Looking up to and worshipping ppl you interact with is :////

Mutual admiration is *ding sound*"

The central tragedy of Ingrid is that if she’d just been kind

and respectful of boundaries then she would have absolutely been able

to be friends with Taylor, no problem.

(I don’t think it’s any shocking spoiler to say

that their friendship has some problems).

Syndrome from The Incredibles is also an example

of a sort of dark inverse of Bartolomeo-

bitterness at rejection by his hero turned him into something much worse

than he would have been otherwise.

[Syndrome] After all...I am your biggest fan.

[Shannon] Grape-kun’s story is similar to the story of Nigel the Gannet,

who garnered headlines like 'Nigel, the world’s loneliest bird,

dies next to the concrete decoy he loved'.

Nicknamed “no mates Nigel”, the ranger who found his corpse

said the experience was “incredibly sad,”.

Nigel’s story is particularly tragic because it happened less than a month

after three real gannets arrived on his island after years of him being alone.

He mostly ignored them.

From the Washington Post-

"In the absence of a living love interest, Nigel became enamored

with one of the 80 faux birds.

He built her… a nest.

He groomed her “chilly, concrete feathers...year after year after year,”

He died next to her in that unrequited love nest,

the vibrant orange-yellow plumage of his head contrasting, as ever,

with the weathered, lemony paint of hers.

“Whether or not he was lonely, he certainly never got anything back,

and that must have been [a] very strange experience,"

conservation ranger Chris Bell, who also lives on the island, told the paper.

“I think we all had a lot of empathy for him,

because he had this fairly hopeless situation.”"

Nigel's story resonated enough

that's there's a puzzle game you can play based on it,

and, like Cicierega, his story became a weird lightning rod for distorted takes,

such as journalist Nicole Serratore using Nigel to talk about r*** culture.

There are plenty of other opportunities for us to use parasocial relationships

as a way to talk about r*** culture that may be more appropriate.

When Aziz Ansari was accused of forcing himself on a woman

ten years younger than him, the babe piece discussing the incident read-

"Speaking to babe, Grace mentioned the glaring gap between Ansari’s comedy persona

and the behavior she experienced in his apartment

as a reason why she didn’t get out earlier.

“I didn’t leave because I think I was stunned and shocked,” she said.

This was not what I expected.

I’d seen some of his shows and read excerpts from his book

and I was not expecting a bad night at all,

much less a violating night and a painful one.""

And one of the angry facebook comments in response

talks about how Ansari is a GOOD PERSON.

As if the commenter knows him or has any idea

what kind of person he actually is.

From Victoria Sands’ '“THE SWIFT LIFE” MONETIZES AND EXPLOITS FANDOM'

in B*tch media, a piece about an exploitative app Taylor Swift released-

"Swift’s actions are deliberate and well-crafted

to develop the parasocial relationship between herself and her devoted followers"

And

"These days, most celebrities speak to fans directly

on various social media platforms.

But Swift, in particular, has developed a specific strategy of friendship

that goes beyond simple connection or contact.

Her presence online is less “here’s special access for you to watch my life”

and more “trust me, see me as a friend, and then become a part of my life.”

When Swift, as fans report after meet and greets,

appears to have remembered their first names

and some measure of their online persona;

buys them personalized gifts; and indulges in their inside jokes,

she is partaking in the realm of online friendship

and emotional investment that explodes through pop culture sites like Tumblr.

With The Swift Life, fans of Taylor who have proven to be unfailingly active

and supportive online can be successfully ushered

into a platform controlled by Swift, through which she profits."

Plus

"With Swift’s public standing in serious question,

it is her quiet, personal, and direct appeals to her loyal fans

that stokes their protectiveness over the “real Taylor.”

And the anger and resentment from fans inside the bubble

is often directed at the “media” who they believe

have been deeply unfair to Swift.

As Tumblr user ---- wrote, Swift’s new music video

“illuminates how the media/society have so tirelessly tried

to absolutely sabotage Taylor Swift’s soul, ravage her kind disposition

and quite overtly vandalize her reputation.”

Swift liked the post."

[Bo] I, uh...

I don't love my fans.

I don't, you don't want that.

You don't want that desperate sort of coying thing from an entertainer.

"My fans, ahh, they stick with me through everything, through thick and thin-".

Do not stick with me, through thick.

If I stop entertaining you, throw me to the curb.

I- You wouldn't stick with your mechanic if he stopped fixing your car,

I'm in a service industry, I'm just overpaid, ok?

*audience laughs*

And a lot of- I feel a lot of artists, pop artists especially,

sort of infringe upon...

responsibilities that just aren't theirs in terms of their audience,

maintaining their audience at an emotional level.

Some of you might be sad and going through things,

I feel for that, life is tough.

I'm not gonna fix that with a song.

[Shannon] I understand the impulse to shy away from romanticizing

“bird loves cold fake bird who will never love him back”

because we do have a culture that prioritizes lovesick men

over the agency of women,

but analyzing celebrities who leverage their power

(and, in the case of Ansari, their nice guy image)

may be a more valuable use of time than getting angry at a dead bird.

Also generally it’s good to keep a safe distance

and a layer of emotional separation with these relationships

so you don’t end up insisting someone who you’ve never met is a “good person”,

or pretend you know the “real” them.

This is especially true of personas who children are a fan of.

I saw plenty of 13-year-olds defending Logan Paul

during the suicide forest fiasco, and I would hate to think

of how I would have handled that, let alone Daniel Kyre’s suicide

or JonTron’s turn toward white supremacist gibberish, at that age.

Not that struggling with mental illness is at all equivalent

to having a lot of opinions on crime statistics and ethnostates-

just that I would hate to be so emotionally tangled up

in the lives of people that I don't know that their pain or controversy

or racist opinions had a significant impact

on my emotional development and my psychological well-being.

There are too many great examples of parasocial relationships

for me to go deep into detail with all of them.

Best Worst Movie is one of my favorite documentaries

because it interrogates how poisonous “ironic” fandom and ironic love are

and how you shouldn’t turn away from real people

who know the real you to bask in them.

Davey Wreden’s game The Beginner’s Guide is another great example

of how poisonous and invasive fans can be.

[Davey Wreden] And I have to be honest with you,

this idea is really seductive to me!

That I could just play someone's game and see the voices in their head

and get to know them better and have to do less

of the messy in-person socializing.

I could just get to know you through your work.

[Jack] That message is sad.

I hated mother! but I do have to admit that there’s a moment in that film that,

as comically over-the-top as it is, lands pretty well

how Aronofsky feels about clawing, entitled fans.

Chapo Trap House is a popular irreverent leftist comedy podcast

and in one episode Matt Christman,

in the context of the 2016 presidential election,

brought up the Harry Harlowe Rhesus monkey experiments.

I have known about the experiments for a long time

but I had never considered them in the context of parasocial relationships

until hearing Matt’s rant.

[Matt] It's only gonna get worse, folks, because I have realized that this campaign

the closest analogue I can think of is that

in the 1930's there was a psychologist named Harry Harlowe

who did a series of experiments to find out what the source of...

a child's appreciation for their parents was.

So he set up a tank with infant rhesus monkeys

and he gave them two mother figures in his tank.

One of them was just a bare wire structure, but it also contained inside of it

the milk that the monkey needed to live.

The other one didn't have any milk, but had-was covered in sort of a carpeting

to give the monkey, like, solice.

The test was to find out which one he preferred,

was he just going where the food was, or was he looking for something more.

And for our purposes let's just say that the Trump campaign is the carpet mother,

and the carpet is, y'know, the hair, obviously,

and the wire mother is Hillary

and the milk bottle is nonrefundable tax credits

and Beyoncé GIFS.

And...now, it doesn't really matter for our purposes

which the monkeys preferred,

but, I think what's important to remember is that in the actual experiment

the monkeys who for our purposes are the American electorate

ALL WENT INSANE.

[Shannon] You might turn from an uncaring and alienating and stratified culture

that's technically real and tangible-

a wire mother that feeds you but offers scorn and rejection

and toward a carpet mother-

a concrete gannet, an anime cutout, a GateBox waifu, a “friend simulator”.

We’re not monkeys trapped in a experiment doomed to die, though.

Nigel finally had company in the last months of his life

and he spurned them for a cold, concrete facsimile.

I got a handful of defensive comments on my first parasocial video

about how fake friends are better than no friends.

Fake friends are good when you have NO OTHER OPTION

but there’s a third option available of putting in the time and the effort

to meet actual people, form actual relationships,

live your own life, rather than obsessing over and living vicariously

through someone intangible.

Parasocial relationships can be healthy, but they should never be your focus.

Not for fans and certainly not for personas.

What kind of shonen protagonists would the straw hat pirates be

if they went on adventures just so they’d get affirmation and attention?

They’re great characters because they reject being seen as heroes.

And I don’t want to watch the Red Letter Media guys

open fanmail or see them do vlogs.

Jay Bauman actually did a whole series of fake vlogs on his own channel,

where clickbait thumbnails led to nothing but strange timelapses with ambient music.

I totally understand the appeal of Critical Role but,

since I have the option, I would honestly rather spend those four or five hours

playing D&D with my friends rather than watching strangers play.

I get that not everyone has that option and that you can have a healthy social life

and still enjoy something like Critical Role,

but I hate the idea of someone giving up time that could have been spent

having their own adventure obsessing over it.

My friend JP, who has worked for a long time as a game designer

and has had plenty of experience dealing with the industry,

tweeted this recently-

"At the center of celebrity culture there is no humanity,

no kindness or insight, no “dragon energy”, but an insatiable void,

a pure and pathologically self-justifying will to power

that feeds on attention and grasps for more.

Have dreams, not heroes."

[Gabriel Gundacker] You know, Richard, I never thought it would end this way.

Shaking your hand at the Eckerd Hall in Clearwater, Florida.

I was the only one there under sixty-five.

I guess that's how it goes.

♫ So, I've met the man ♫

♫ I went onstage and shook his hand ♫

♫ but I feel unfulfilled... ♫

♫ (There is something still wrong) ♫

♫ Was this a good life goal? ♫

♫ I should have probably focused more on school ♫

♫ Or learned a marketable skill ♫

♫ (Instead of writing celebrity songs) ♫

[Shannon] I am tremendously grateful for and humbled by

all the support I’ve gotten and messages I’ve received

about how I changed someone’s perspective

or helped them feel better during a rough time in their life.

All of that has profoundly impacted me. But I also try to keep a strong barrier up.

I think someone like McLaughlin would be happier

if he had better boundaries.

Or any boundaries.

The more I researched his work the more he seemed genuinely kind

and humble and understanding of the impact his videos have on viewers,

including viewers who are isolated or viewers who can’t play games themselves

because of disabilities.

[Jack] Awesome, I love letters

because people... people really open up in text

because a lot of people are very afraid to say stuff to you face-to-face

and I did meet a lot of people who I could tell really wanted to say stuff

and then they couldn't because,

I don't know anxiety or whatever kind of took over

so they couldn't really say anything and then they give you letters, so...

that kind of stuff then really hits home

because they open up a lot more in their letters, so thank you.

These guys were making really cool ways for disabled people to play games.

There was one that, erm, paraplegics could play Mario Kart

and it was controlled with your chin, or your nose or your face

or whatever you wanted to control it with.

It was like a knob that you would like stick your face to

or a little, like, joystick that you stick your face to

and then you'd move around with your face, which was so cool a-

there was other ones for um, like hearing impaired

and visually impaired stuff, so... those guys were doing a really great thing

because everyone should get a chance to play games,

everyone should be able to play video games and I'm very privileged and very lucky

to like live where I am, in the society that I live in

to be able to do this, to even have internet to be able to upload the games,

to be able to afford to buy the games...

Not everyone has those luxuries,

so I'm really fortunate and I'm very very...

um, lucky to be able to do that kind of thing.

So, and not everyone is, so I'm really glad that there's people out there

working towards actually helping gamers of-of all, like, abilities

um, disabilities, ages, genders, anything at all!

Anything you can think of, you guys are doing great work, so thank you.

From everyone in the gaming community.

Like really blown away by...

I'm...I'm so happy with all this, I'm so lucky to have

people who wanna make stuff for me, or just wanna buy stuff and give it to me.

Not everyone gets to say that, not everyone gets to do that, I'm so lucky.

Again, privileged is what I'd say 'cuz not everyone...

is even able to like have the opportunities to be able to do Youtube in general,

or play games, or anything like that,

a lot of people just have the internet on their phones, their really old phones

and they come to you as an outlet to be able to play these games,

to be able to see these games,

to be able to experience these things vicariously.

So...I'm just really glad that I can bring that-

bridge that gap between people.

That some people do Youtube as well and they watch this as like...

wh-what could be your inspiration or anything.

God, that makes me sound pretentious. Sorry. Um...

but then you've other people who can't afford a lot of these things

or can-don't have the luxuries for all these things.

some people don't even have internet, um...

which I guess they wouldn't be able to see this video.

But a lot of people who can't afford to play games or their...

they don't have the ability to play games, like, they might have disabilities.

Again, like that charity- or that organization

who were helpin' people play games, but...

they can all experience it through these videos

and that makes me so happy, it makes me feel like

I'm doing something proper with my time, with my life, with my...

wit-*scoffs* I was gonna say my skills,

I don't know if I have any skills, but thank you guys so much for being here,

thank you for wanting to come out to meet me,

'cuz I want to meet all you guys just as much as you want to meet me,

and...like all these gifts, I don't deserve them.

I really don't.

A lot of you will say "Yes Jack, you do deserve them,

you helped me so much" but really, no, I don't.

[Shannon] I don’t know him personally of course

but judging solely on what’s publicly available he seems great,

especially when compared to other big Youtube personalities

and let's players that kids watch.

I know my intro contrasting him and Burnham can be read as harsh

but it comes from a place of wishing he saw value in himself outside of his audience

and spent time on something else.

Since the Paradox clip I used was from 2015,

I hope his outlook has evolved some since then

and that he’s in a better place.

[Jack] There's a lot of stuff in my life that's kind of getting to me

and weighing me down, and in the last couple of weeks

I just...haven't been happy, in general.

As I said, just so many of my friends are over there,

and I want to hang out with them day-to-day and do stuff with them

outside of Youtube, just in general I want to go out and hang out

and go to a movie with people, go to the beach and hang out

and just chat, go to dinner, go play bowling or somethin'.

Anything like that, I just miss my friends a lot, and a lot of them are over there.

I've for the last two weeks I don't think I've left my house, at all,

to go do anything,

maybe to like go to the movies once or something like that,

but I just don't go outside day-to-day, I'm inside all the time,

and I don't really like doing that, and it gets to you after a while

and doing the same videos over and over again

kind of weighs you down, so my-my mental health

has not been in the best place recently.

[Shannon] I don't talk a whole lot publicly or in my videos about my personal life

or my friendships with other artists and content creators

because that isn’t the world’s business

but I am pretty obviously friends with hbomberguy.

I’ve been on his streams and we make videos together.

I became friends with Hbomb in a roundabout way through my work.

I can’t speak for Harris but I somehow doubt we would be friends now

if I had spent all of my time pouring over the minutiae of his personal life

and obsessing over his appearance when he’s clearly just a person

trying to just make good video essays on games and politics.

Not that you only have value if you make content,

that’s obviously ludicrous-

I just mean that I’ve worked to establish my own identity

on top of being respectful of the boundaries of people I’m a fan of.

And whenever I work with or post photos of Harris and myself,

or of my friend Devon and myself, I get weird comments and messages

asking if we’re dating, because 1) if I work with a dude creatively

we’re OBVIOUSLY dating and 2) that’s definitely a normal,

non-invasive thing to ask someone.

Even at my relatively low level of attention

and with my repeated establishment of boundaries

I get weird invasive questions and I know as my audience grows

it will probably only get worse.

I do attach on some level the worth of my work to the people who tell me

I changed their minds and made them less elitist or less of an edgelord

or inspired a passion for film in them or helped them through a difficult time.

That’s AMAZING. That means a lot to me.

I cannot begin to imagine what it means to Markiplier

when he does a Make-A-Wish fulfillment,

or what that connection means to the parents of a dying child.

I have a very close friend who quit drinking

in part because of an episode of Cracked’s podcast that David Wong did

and it was a huge turning point in his life.

I’ve certainly been helped out by feeling a connection with media figures,

that I’ll talk about in episode four, but OBVIOUSLY,

from the very first video essay I published on this channel over three years ago,

Youtube channels like Every Frame a Painting and Red Letter Media

inspired and encouraged me.

One Piece has meant a lot to me for fifteen years.

But past the self-evident issues when you get sucked into a parasocial fantasy

from an audience point of view,

from the creator point of view I know that I have to be careful

because once the attention leaves the work that I willingly put out there

and starts being about me-

if I let it affect how I look at myself or let people I don’t know

start to try to grasp at more of me than I’m willing to give-

if I let view counts and fan attention determine my self-worth-

that's dark. It’s poison.

So please understand that every harsh moment in this essay

comes from personal experience.

I cannot deny the value that parasocial relationships can hold

but I’ve seen their dark side, both for fans and personas, close up,

and I think that, collectively, we can do better.

"He's living the dream,

and we get to come along and live it with him."

"I like this it makes me feel like I have friends."

"patheticccc"

"A safe space for Fictoromantics, Fictosexuals,

or anyone attracted to any type of fictional characters!"

"You do more for my positive emotions in one video

than most people can do in a month."

"welp time to end it all..... OH..!! ill just delay it 57 mins"

"I've been single for 4 years now and I feel alone.

All my friends have boyfriends and my crush doesn't feel the same.

But your videos are the closest thing I have

to a relationship and I'm so glad that you make them.

Thank you so much."

"You mean more to some of us than we matter to ourselves.

Stay strong. For us."

"Yay! I have friends again! Very briefly!!!

::Collapses in helpless sobbing, clutching the monitor tight::

"HELL YEAH, Sanji's my f***in dude."

*laughs*

"Zoro *clap* is *clap* a *clap* savage"

"I just want one day with Bo.

Maybe I'll get cancer and can have Make-A-Wish ask him so he can say no."

"I wanna drink with Mike and Jay so bad."

"My friends are here!"

"This seriously the only Youtube channel

that makes me immediately click on their new content.

The only thing in my life that excites me, really."

"You guys are my parasocial friends."

67 upvotes.

"it really is like having friends for an hour."

"Each new upload is as if senpai noticed you."

"Adrian Taylor was diagnosed with Adrenal cancer when she was 16 years old.

With her life on the line and not much hope, her sister Sofie;

who had shared a profound love for Markiplier as much as her sister did,

set her up with Make-A-Wish foundation to meet her well known hero.

But will it end up being more than a one time thing?

Will her bigger with of being with him come true?"

"This actually felt like I was personally with Jack!"

"Then mission accomplished."

"Jack, you do this once to twice a month to really connect with us

as we all are feeling we are personally with you.

LIKE TO GET THIS TO JACK"

"a day with jack a day with jack this is more important

that anything else in your life."

Jack? *chuckles*

"Jack is a cuck."

"You know, Septiplier used to make me smile all the time, it was my sunshine,

they were so perfect.

I mean, I know that they would never be together,

but seeing them play around

and being the goofballs they are together made me smile.

AND NOW THEY DON'T EVEN TALK ANYMORE.

You don't feel the bright sunny energy you used to when they are in a room together.

Jack moved on to Felix, people are making a new love story for them

and I'm sitting here at 3 in the morning crying over the red and green beans

that used to make me happy.

Septiplier is gone, we all know that, and I want it back more than anything...

I just want my sunshine back..."

5.6 thousand people liked this POST.

"do you think it would be healthy or unhealthy of me

to develop a parasocial relationship

with the hosts of the Trap and the wider Chapo-verse?"

"It's honestly the healthiest thing you can do."

"but when i was around 11 or possibly 12

the episode where bulma and vegeta begin their relationship

was broadcast in my country.

i immediately sunk in a deep deep depression.

the first time I had been betrayed by a woman.

not just any woman. the woman of my dreams.

dont say a 2D girl cant hurt you. they can. take it from me.

this all really happened and it happened because of anime."

"One Piece has a lot of flashback scenes, but they're there for one reason.

They started when I thought that by acquainting you all

with even the childhoods of these characters,

you'd feel like you've been with them since they were children.

Things like "Oh, Luffy's been terrible at telling lies since he was a kid,"

or "He used to be such a crybaby,"

or "He's grown up so much,"

or "He hasn't changed at all."

I feel like a deep bond has developed between you all and Luffy and his friends."

"RLM is the reason I haven't killed myself

yet."

"Relationship status?"

"Who's that guy in your pics then?"

"Who's Devon?"

"Ah thanks for the clarification, you look...really happy together,

that's tHe mAiN rEaSoN i AsKeD tHe QuEsTiOn TbH."

"Even as Jack makes a general statement about the fact that we matter,

I just feel so grateful, as if he's talking to me in particular.

I have such an awful pain in my chest right now."

[Jack] I've... spent the last five years of my life...

being so bombarded by opinions of other people, good, bad, or indifferent,

that...like you don't realize what that's doing to you

until you're actually away from it.

And it wasn't until I sat down and thought about it that...

when I started off doing my channel, it was...

it was something I loved doing because...

I-I had felt left out in life.

I felt like I was an outcast in a lot of the things I was doing

and...I wanted to start it because I saw other people do it

and I saw...people inviting all these-these people on the internet

to join in and be part of this community and family,

that they were creating cool stuff together

and I thought "You know what, I'm lonely, I'm sad.

Being part of these communities makes me feel happy

so I wanted to go out there and...

do that for other people,

and I wanted to try and help people achieve their best

and just lead them in a good direction.

That version of myself when I started off like that,

energetic, bubbly, loud, sweary kind of person- that was just what I was,

that's who I was, and it was an extension of myself-

obviously that's not the way I am all the time,

nobody can be turned up to 11 all the time,

but playing video games and interacting with them and interacting with you guys

was where I felt most at home

and felt like the best version of myself so that-it brought out that side of me

so much more then anything else.

I hadn't realized that after a while that kind of became...

like a caricature of me.

And then I ended up becoming that version of myself

by just turning on the camera and just *snap* turning it on.

It was dishonest to do it that way because I wasn't being myself,

and freaking out about my schedule and freaking out about letting people down

just built up this well of anxiety and sadness in me

that I didn't know was there,

and it just kept building and building and building.

I-I was worried about admitting that stuff to myself

and I was worried about admitting it to other people

because...I felt like if I did that, then it would become true.

Even though it was already true anyway,

but I was-I was afraid that it would change something about myself

and I was-I was so worried that...

this like positive energy that I was giving off that...

if I admitted that... I'm not happy all the time

that other people... would stop believing in that cause.

So I always tried to... I always tried to lead by example

and be as positive as I could be and to give off a good message

and it's something that I wholeheartedly believe in.

But, at some point I realized that I had built all this stuff onto a pedestal

so high that I could never actually get there

and I could never keep that up for a really long time, so...

instead of it chipping away it all just came crumbling down at one point.

[Bo] They say it's- it's like the 'Me' generation, it's not.

it's not a- the arrogance is taught or it was cultivated,

it's-it's self-conscious.

[Jack] So many people are feeling the burnout of doing this type of Youtube

because Youtube shifted in such a direction that...the grind is stronger than ever.

The-the need to constantly be updating people on what you're doing-

[Bo] Social media, it's just the market's answer

to a generation that demanded to perform-

-To constantly be making content-

-So the market said here, perform everything-

-To constantly be pushing it out into your faces-

-to each other, all the time, for no reason-

-because that's just what the machine likes,

the machine likes quantity.

But a lot of people are starting to realize that that's just...-

-it's prison-

-unsustainable after a while-

-it's horrific, it is performer and audience melded together,

what do we want more then to lie in our bed at the end of the day

and just watch our life as a satisfied audience member?

I-I know very little about anything,

but what I do know is that if you can... live your life without an audience...

you should do it.

[Shannon] Thank you so much to all of the people listed here,

either for voice acting, notes on the script or the edit,

research help, moral support, or some combination of the above.

And additional thanks to Harris, Devon, and Graham

for their tireless support of my creative endeavors

which has always gone above and beyond and which I appreciate immensely.

So, there was part two!

Part three is going to be focused on academic research

surrounding parasocial relationships

and part four will deal with my own experiences with them

and my own personal take on them.

Also I’m definitely not an expert on some of the topics I covered in this video

and I struggled with pronunciation here and there

so I’m 100% open to corrections and suggestions for further research.

I also think everything in this video is up-to-date

but I’ve been working on it for around a year

so I’m open to corrections for anything I missed there as well.

This was sort of an experiment and a challenge to myself

to see if I could pull off a feature-length video essay.

I am very grateful for my Patrons

but I can’t sustain doing this again at my current level-

I can’t rationalize making what is essentially a feature-length documentary

for a few hundred dollars.

So, if you enjoyed this, and you want to see more of this,

please sign up and become a Patron of mine,

because if I get to the level of Patreon backing

where I can be more financially stable and not have to rely on freelance,

I’d love to make more in-depth feature-length videos,

and, in the future, maybe not take a whole year to finish one.

Uh, here's most of the music that I used:

An instrumental version of Kendrick Lamar’s King Kunta,

lots of Lemon Demon music, mostly off of Spirit Phone,

lots of Lyricwulf’s Bo Burnham piano covers

which you can find on Youtube,

and Taylor Davis Binks’ Sake cover.

And thanks, as always, for watching!

♫ Email me, Richard. FaceTime me, Richard. ♫

♫ Call on me, Richard. ♫

♫ Get some...damn lunch with me, Richard. ♫

♫ Ok so, there should be links in the video. ♫

♫ So that's the place to go if you by any chance happen to know any way to meet ♫

♫ Richard Dreyfuss ♫

♫ I would kill you all to meet Richard Dreyfuss ♫

♫ I would kill you all to meet Richard Dreyfuss ♫