-
- Hey everybody.
-
Today we're gonna talk about
depression and anxiety,
-
and why they seem to be so connected.
-
But before we jump into that,
-
did you know I wrote a book?
-
It's called Are u ok?
-
And it's available for pre order now.
-
In the book, I talk about all
things mental health related
-
like what's the difference
-
between mental health and mental illness?
-
How do we diagnose depression and anxiety?
-
What type of treatment should I get
-
if I am struggling,
-
and also how to manage
toxic relationships.
-
So click the link at the
top of the description
-
and pre order now.
-
By pre ordering you get signed book plates
-
and some special giveaways, so hop on it.
-
Now let's jump into today's topic.
-
Now, by simply watching
my diagnoses videos
-
about depression and anxiety,
-
you can easily think that
they are vastly different.
-
On one hand a depressed person
-
doesn't like doing anything they used to.
-
They can feel hopeless and sad.
-
And have changes in their
diet and sleep patterns.
-
A person with anxiety can
feel like they're living
-
in a state of extreme agitation,
-
being on edge most of the day,
-
and worrying about anything
-
and everything happening in their life.
-
These two mental illnesses
-
seem to be on the opposite
ends of the spectrum,
-
not related to one another at all.
-
However, it's important to note
-
that statistically speaking
-
the most common form of depression
-
is actually what we call
agitated depression,
-
meaning that someone
will feel both hopeless,
-
empty, and lack enjoyment,
-
while also feeling on edge, irritable,
-
and worrying about all things
going on in their life.
-
Many of my patients who are struggling
-
with agitated depression
feel like they're caught
-
in a terrible cycle,
because they'll feel bad
-
and lonely and empty, et cetera,
-
then they'll pick a fight with someone
-
who tries to help them or support them
-
'cause they're just
feeling like total shit
-
and then go right back
to feeling terrible again
-
and that cycle just
goes and goes and goes.
-
And many people also share
how they'll be tired all day
-
feeling low, and completely unmotivated,
-
but then at night they can't sleep.
-
I even had a patient back in the day
-
who struggled to stop her
mind from running through
-
each and every conversation
she had had that day,
-
and how she could have been better,
-
more understanding, or less awkward.
-
This can be exhausting,
-
I know many of you told me the same thing,
-
that you feel tired all day
-
and then you can't sleep at night.
-
Ugh, so annoying!
-
Now it's not only the agitated depression
-
that connects anxiety to depression.
-
Research also shows that this link
-
has more to do with how
those with depression
-
and anxiety manage stress.
-
Whenever we're bombarded
with the stress in our life
-
those with anxiety and depression
-
tend to deal with it through avoidance.
-
Meaning when stress comes our way
-
and we're pushed into our fight,
flight or freeze response,
-
we choose flight.
-
I mean think about it,
-
neither depression nor
anxiety is decisive,
-
confident or pushy.
-
And to take it even further,
-
anxiety is characterized by avoidance.
-
I mean if we know something's
gonna make us anxious or upset
-
we're gonna avoid it, obviously.
-
And when depressed, we
don't think very highly
-
of ourselves or our abilities,
-
and therefore we tend to avoid situations
-
or challenges, rather than jump right in.
-
And in the therapy world
we call that withdrawal.
-
So you can see that with anxiety
-
your obsessions about
failure are fear laden.
-
Whereas with depression,
-
your rumination reflects
intense discouragement
-
to the point of hopelessness of despair.
-
But in both cases you're
feeling overwhelmed
-
because of lack of self confidence
-
and that's the real issue
behind feeling overwhelmed.
-
Like, the root of the root.
-
You know how I'm always talking,
-
to get to the root of
the root of the issue.
-
And so if that's the case
behind feeling like this
-
it can in turn lead us to either anxiety,
-
depression, or a veritable combination
-
of these two painful feelings.
-
Furthermore much of the symptoms
-
of depression and anxiety
really do overlap.
-
Here are just some of the symptoms
-
you will see in both diagnoses:
-
sleep disturbance, tearfulness,
-
worry, loss of appetite,
loss of sex drive,
-
lack of motivation, body aches,
difficulty concentrating,
-
and that's just to name a few.
-
So it is easy to see why many of us
-
find ourselves toggling back and forth
-
between depression to anxiety
-
and even experiencing them
both at the same time.
-
Or on the other hand,
-
possibly being diagnosed with one
-
when we really have the other.
-
But like anything I talk about
-
I always wanna end with what we can do
-
to better manage the symptoms.
-
So let's get into that.
-
Oh, and also, I know that we have
-
a lot of new community members.
-
Welcome!
-
So if you have a question or topic
-
that you want me to talk about,
-
please search my name and any keywords
-
associated with your question or issue.
-
I have over a thousand videos
-
so chances are I've
already talked about it.
-
Okay, now into the tips and tools.
-
Number one, since our hypothesis
-
is that lack of self confidence
-
and our flight response
is what's leading us
-
to having our anxious
or depressive symptoms,
-
you knew this tip was coming,
-
notice your self talk!
-
It's so common that we
just believe our thoughts,
-
like I'm lazy, or my feelings are stupid,
-
or I'm not good enough.
-
Start paying attention to how you speak
-
to yourself and maybe start
using bridge statements.
-
Bridge statements are things
that you say to yourself
-
when the positive or
completely opposite things
-
don't feel like real, right or attainable.
-
So for example, if we're
struggling with the thought
-
I'm not good enough, a
bridge statement would be
-
I may not be as bad as I think
I am, I mean, it's possible.
-
We don't have to say
-
I'm amazing and I'm way more than enough
-
I love myself, because
we won't believe that.
-
Let's just be honest, right?
-
And yes, you know, I've
talked about faking it
-
'til I make it, and that
does help some people,
-
but most of us need a
bridge to get us there.
-
And so that's what those statements are.
-
So I encourage you to give it a try.
-
Try to notice the five most common
-
negative thoughts you have, and argue back
-
with some thoughtful bridge statements.
-
And then after some time
-
you'll be able to argue
back with positive ones,
-
or better yet, maybe you won't even have
-
those nasty thoughts at all anymore.
-
Number two, getting into talk therapy.
-
It can really be so helpful, I promise.
-
Having someone we can go to to talk with
-
who doesn't know anything other
than what we share with them
-
can be so life changing.
-
Now, obviously we need to make sure
-
that we like our therapist,
-
that we feel they're a good fit for us,
-
but getting into talk therapy
-
can help us better understand
our anxiety or depression.
-
And make sure that we're
properly diagnosed.
-
Remember I always talk
about how important it is
-
to spend time with a clinician,
-
meaning like therapist,
counselor, psychologist, whomever,
-
we have to spend a lot of time with them
-
before they can truly diagnose us.
-
So allow yourself to make
sure they're a good fit
-
and feel like they really listen to you
-
and then talk about your diagnosis
-
and make sure that you both agree on it.
-
And the therapist can also help us
-
manage those symptoms
that we're talking about.
-
They find CBT to be a really
helpful style of therapy.
-
So feel free to ask your therapist
-
if they utilize that style as well.
-
And if you're wondering what CBT even is,
-
I'll link my video about it
in the description below.
-
Tip number three, while
medication can not make us
-
like ourselves or feel more confident
-
it can help alleviate the other symptoms
-
of anxiety or depression
-
that we may be experiencing.
-
I've talked about this a lot in the past
-
but if we feel like we're
just drowning in the symptoms
-
unable to even implement one of the tips
-
that our therapist or other
mental health professional
-
has given us, medication
can be that life raft,
-
can help you get your head, you know,
-
just above water enough so you
can finally breathe (sighs)
-
and do the work that you're
gonna need to do to get better.
-
And I do not encourage
just if you're wondering
-
I don't encourage people
to only be on medication
-
and not be in therapy,
-
because medication when it
comes to mental health issues
-
doesn't really fix anything.
-
It merely masks the symptoms
that tell us something's wrong.
-
And so working together,
-
medication and therapy, I believe
to be the most beneficial.
-
And research does too, just FYI.
-
And fourth and finally, resourcing.
-
Now I've been talking
about this more and more
-
when it comes to trauma therapy,
-
but I honestly believe that resourcing
-
can be beneficial to anyone
working on themselves.
-
Resourcing's really just a fancy way
-
of saying we need to have
places, people, and things
-
we can reach out to or do
when we start to feel bad.
-
This could be a happy place
that we go to in our mind
-
or petting an animal, if
that always calms us down.
-
It works for me.
-
Or even in your therapy appointments
-
that place could be like a safe haven
-
to go to in your mind or to
show up for your appointment.
-
And the more resources
that we have the better
-
and also making sure that these things
-
we can do regardless of the time of day
-
is really important,
too, because we all know
-
nights can be the toughest.
-
And yes these are similar
to distraction techniques
-
or coping skills, but they're
just a little bit deeper.
-
These need to be things or people
-
that can help pull us out of
those negative thought spirals
-
and keep us feeling
grounded fairly quickly.
-
So take some time,
-
consider what your resources
are and write them down
-
so they're available when you need them.
-
And I hope you found this video helpful.
-
As always, let me know down
in those comments below
-
how you experience the connection
-
between anxiety and depression.
-
Or if you think they're
completely different
-
and not connected at all.
-
How does it feel to you?
-
And most importantly, what has helped you
-
to better manage it?
-
Thank you so much for watching
-
and I will see you next time, bye.