Chasing belonging | Angela Damiani | TEDxFondduLac

Explore how hosting a party for 3,000 friends and community members gave Angela Damiani the tools to solve some of the biggest issues facing the workforce today. This talk was produced in partnership with Sirna Productions.

The leader of the NEWaukee team, Angela has spent over a decade developing engagement strategies that work. She helps communities and companies build meaningful connections and attract top talent. Angela is a serial entrepreneur who has launched four businesses, guest contributor and writer for national publications like Fortune, New Geography and Style Salute, frequent public speaker at economic development symposiums like Future Wisconsin, and was 40 Under 40 Award Winner in 2016. She lives by the mantra “uncompromising momentum forward” – there is no challenge too big that can’t be tackled by simply asking “how.”

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx

Every one of us, unfortunately,
knows at least one person

who is suffering
with an issue with opioids.

And I would contend that each of us
has been personally affected

in some way or another

by the workforce shortages
due to demographic and cultural shifts

since the Great Recession.

What I have come here to establish today

is that both of these issues

are the downstream effects
of the same crisis

and the solution for both

is simple in nature
but profound in impact.

I uncovered this a few years ago,

and it took me a little while

to become articulate
about how to share it with others,

but this is the story of how it all began.

After a few years of hosting
social gatherings for our friends

and our friends of friends,

a group of us decided to take on
our biggest challenge yet:

an island party right off the coast
of the City of Milwaukee.

We were ill-prepared.

Being novices to event planning,

we forgot just about
all the main ingredients -

power, bathrooms, lights,
enough food and drinks.

And despite our poor planning skills,

3,000 people showed up.

They listened to the music,

they danced on the prairie grass,

and we all watched
this bright orange sunset together.

How we managed to get away
without any liability insurance

or even any inkling of a negative incident

is only by the grace of God,

our good fortunes,

or perhaps our extreme naiveté.

After the crowds had disbanded,

a few of us that remained on the park
decided to run into the lake,

swimming under the stars

and reveling in what we had just created.

As I floated along

and listened to the laughter
of my best friends, I thought,

"This is it!

This is what we do now!"

I laugh a little bit when I think
about that moment in time

because all we had actually done
was host a really big party by mistake.

And yet there was something more to it,
and I could feel it that night.

We had somehow managed to create a space

for a few thousand strangers
to gather together

and to feel as though they belonged
to each other and to the park,

even if it was just
for a few moments in time.

Recreating that sense of belonging became
what fueled our every waking moment.

At a merciless pace,

we hosted hundreds of events
that drew thousands of attendees,

over and over,

always chasing that same high:

the reverberation that comes

from the confluence
of people gathering together

and feeling connected to one another.

The impact of those experiences
always had a really profound effect,

not only in our lives,
but on the lives of those who attended -

ones we could see

and ones we would
never be able to imagine.

After hosting a bunch
of different crazy experiences,

we realized what we were doing
was not exactly event planning -

it was something more.

We were studying what made people move,

how to get them to take action,

and how to change
a narrative about a place.

For the collective method we honed,
we coined a new term:

"social architecture" -

the conscious design of an environment

that shifts the social behavior
of a population towards a goal.

This transformative practice requires
sincere thoughtfulness about inclusion

and deep investment in network development

prior to the beginning
of planning the new event.

What it results in,
besides high event attendance,

is meaningful buy-in from key constituents

and some of the most diverse programs
that the City of Milwaukee has to offer.

Social architecture

changes how people interact
with both cities and companies alike.

And while I stumbled
into a makeshift career

through fun and frivolity,

I also discovered that belonging -

the true by-product
of social architecture -

is the solution

for a growing public health crisis
called social isolation.

And now that I know that,

I feel more empowered than ever
to take on this epidemic

by socially architecting
all areas of our lives,

including our workplace,

where everyone goes every single day.

Now, candidly,

it took us about 10 years
to establish this practice,

and as we were working through that,
the world shifted around us.

Technology accelerated

and changed the way our social systems,
communication, and the economy all work.

We live in a time

of infinite possibilities
to connect to one another,

and yet as a society,
we are actually growing lonelier.

There are 212 different
social media platforms

available on the marketplace,

and they're all designed
to bring people together.

And yet it turns out

people who spend two hours
or more on social media

are two times more likely to feel lonely.

People have hundreds, if not thousands,
of social media connections,

and yet in stark contrast,

since 1985,

the number of people
who can claim to have no close friends

has increased from 36 to 54 percent.

Half of Americans claim
to sometimes or always feel alone,

and a quarter of us claim that we have
no one in our lives who understands us.

Generation Z,

the digital natives amongst us,

the kids coming up behind millennials,

are arguably the most technologically
savvy and connected generation,

and they claim to be the loneliest.

What this means

is that likes and comments on social media

do not translate to meaningful,
authentic engagement.

In fact, most of the time,

those connections
are used for self-promotion,

not community building.

And while there are a few
technology solutions, like meetup.com,

that aim to bring people together
and increase the convenience of that,

it turns out millennials
are the first generation

that would rather stay home
than leave to socialize.

We expect more and more from technology

and less and less from one another -

a reality that chips away

at the fundamental human need
for social interaction

and causes all sorts of negative
psychological down spirals.

But let me be clear about something:

this is not a young person problem.

Social isolation does not discriminate

against age, gender, race,
or socioeconomic background.

Today's scientists know

that if we do not have
the opportunity to connect socially,

we are so ravenous for
our neurochemistry to be rebalanced,

we are likely to seek relief
from anywhere.

Social isolation is directly correlated

to things like anxiety, depression,
increased suicide, drug abuse,

and the divisiveness we see
in today's political landscape.

In fact, those who do not have
a regular opportunity to connect socially

are 50 percent more likely
to die prematurely.

That means that loneliness is just
as lethal as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

All of this, as you can imagine,
affects our society.

And while our social systems have shifted,

so have our workplaces.

Since the Great Recession,

remote work is on the rise,

productivity gurus tell us
to take less meetings,

and the technology that's meant
to make our work easier

leads us away from our coworkers.

Whether from working long hours
or due to a lengthy commute,

the amount of time we spend
with one another at work

is vastly diminishing.

And this wasn't always the case.

In the past, your workplace may have been
where you had your friendships

and, sometimes, even met your spouse.

But the reality is the workplace
is rapidly changing

as people switch jobs multiple times
or move to various cities over a career,

and the gig economy makes finding
steady work even more complicated.

Most people live very transactional
and transient lives

in which their ability to connect
to a community of people

who look out for one another

is no longer accessible.

The point is people are isolated

and there's a connection crisis brewing

that affects our society,
communities, and companies alike.

And while this feels
unstoppable and pervasive -

because who among us is really ready

to give up the modern advances
our technology affords? -

the solution is simple.

The antidote is to create
a sense of belonging

by connecting people
to places and experiences

that ensure they get offline
and meet one another in person.

And while a lot has changed

and we no longer have
the social constructs of the past,

the workplace still provides
a very unique potential

to be a source of daily social outlet.

It is therefore incumbent on our employers

to facilitate how we connect
with one another,

and this is the elusive secret
to talent attraction and retention.

It has nothing to do
with a flashy marketing campaign

or a cash incentive to move somewhere.

It is the ability to realize

that everyone everywhere
is chasing that same exact thing.

And the employers that are
setting up systems right now

to create a sense of belonging
for their employees

are the ones that will win
this global war for talent.

Now, I recognize the word "belonging"

feels a little bit inappropriate
for the workplace.

After all, you've been offered
a job, salary benefits -

why is it your new boss's responsibility
to ensure that you have friends too?

(Laughter)

Well, it turns out, though,

only one-third of us claim
to have a best friend at work,

and when we do,

we're seven times more productive.

Disengaged employees cost companies
500 billion dollars a year,

plus there's the added cost bonus
in savings that takes place

when an engaged employee helps
with increased candidate referrals,

longer employee tenure,

and the overall brand mindshare
of the company as a great place to work.

But I am not referring
to forced "funtivities"

for your employees to awkwardly mill about

or roll their eyes at.

What I'm talking about has a formula

and it's based in the theory
of social architecture -

again, the conscious design of,
in this case, a workplace

that shifts the social behaviour
of the workers towards a goal.

The goals are complex:

increased profitability, productivity,
employee tenure, and customer loyalty.

Hence, the solution has to be complex

and, quite frankly,

an innovative approach
to taking on all these challenges.

Social architecture

allows for the shedding
of the one-size-fits-all nature

that's typical in corporate America

and yields unprecedented results
in all of these normal areas of success.

And this is the formula
for how you create belonging.

Belonging begins with empowerment.

Empowerment requires the recognition
that people are individuals,

not cogs in a wheel.

Broad, sweeping generation generalizations
and corporate policies

are diametrically opposed

to how people naturally move
and use the world.

Just because a cohort of employees
is near to one another in age

does not mean that they're
at the same stage of their lives.

Think of it: a 28-year-old
can be single, married,

married with children,
divorced with children.

Each one of those stages

has way more to do
with what will engage that employee

than his proximity
of his age with his peers

because each one of those stages

represents a very clear marker
of transition for that individual -

transition from past priorities,

from the ways in which
what the company culture has to offer

will ensure that they feel connected
and a part of the team.

Creating individualized
engagement plans, then,

is the best way to ensure that employees
feel empowered to take on their roles

and to propel their careers
within the company

rather than seek outlets elsewhere.

The second step
for belonging is connection,

which goes beyond affinity.

Most companies subdivide
their engagement strategy

into demographic categories:

there's the women's group,
the Asian group, the young people's group.

What this does, once the novelty
of the camaraderie wears off,

is actually forge a new epicenter
within the organization

for this minority group to lament
how they're not considered

when the larger policies
affect that group.

Rarely are modes of intersectionality
between those employee resource groups

invested in,

which would allow them to not only
learn and grow from one another

but have a more powerful and dynamic voice

in affecting the broader culture
of that organization.

The third step is having a mechanism
for change to take place.

There is no point in having a comment box
or any modern variation of one

without a system that allows
someone to request a change

and then be a part of creating the change
they seek within that organization.

And this has to be ubiquitous
across the company,

from the lowliest of entry level
all the way up to the C-suite.

Everyone's voice must be heard

and at least considered
for implementation.

And finally, the consistency
of the empowerment connection

and the ability to build anew

is the most important ingredient.

Trust is shared experience over time.

If folks do not see the values

that are not only written in the handbook

and the mission statement
of the organization

but they're in action over and over,

being used by everyone
across the organization,

there will be a mistrust that grows

and becomes impossible for belonging
to be a reality in that workplace.

Given the struggle that companies
currently have in attracting talent,

ensuring a sense of belonging is felt
by the employees they currently have

is imperative for the growth
of that enterprise.

For if the employees who helped
to create that brand don't trust it,

why would anyone else?

And sadly,

I don't believe the angst caused
by the void of belonging

we're facing in our society

is going anywhere,

especially as the mistrust
of our politics, media,

and other major institutions

is at an all-time high.

But companies have the power
and, I would contend, the responsibility

to change this paradigm

as they are the ones who benefit most

from having the people
to make and buy their stuff.

And despite all of the world's changes,

people do still need to work,

even in spite of that insatiable chase
for something more.

Can you imagine a world in which
employees felt connected and whole

every time they headed into work?

Can you see the way that would change
our society's social ills?

All that needs to happen
to bring forth this reality

is for employers to offer
the most mission-critical

but also basic human benefit
they can afford:

belonging.

Thank you.

(Applause)