-
Let's pray together.
-
Father, I pray that the worldview
-
that tries to fit biblical pieces in,
-
but is a worldview shaped by
-
unbiblical assumptions, would be changed.
-
So that, marriage and singleness
-
are seen to be what they are
-
in the radical alteration of things
-
that Jesus has brought.
-
This is something that
I can't make happen.
-
But You, by Your Spirit,
through Your Word can.
-
And so I ask that You would perform it.
-
Not that a few little nuggets would be
-
fit in to a defective paradigm,
-
but rather that the whole system
-
would be blown away
-
and replaced by
-
a biblical understanding of all things.
-
So that the smaller things
-
like marriage and singleness
-
would fit in the way
that you have designed
-
in Christ Jesus in this brief
-
and temporary age in which we live
-
in preparation for eternity.
-
So, come and help me be
faithful to Your Word now,
-
and give ears to hear,
I pray, through Christ.
-
Amen.
-
I'm going to start and end
-
with my main point,
-
and in the middle,
-
I'll saturate you with many texts.
-
So that we have foundation under
-
the beginning by the time
we get to the end
-
and say it again.
-
My main point is that God promises
-
those of you who will remain single
-
blessings that are better than
-
the blessings of marriage and children.
-
And secondly, that He calls you
-
to display by your Christ-exalting devotion
-
in singleness,
-
to display truths about Christ
-
and His Kingdom
-
that shine more clearly through
-
singleness than through marriage.
-
Four of them.
-
Four truths that will shine
-
more clearly through a life
-
of devoted singleness in Christ
-
than through marriage.
-
Number one.
-
That the family of God grows
-
not by propogation through
sexual intercourse
-
but by regeneration through
faith in Christ.
-
Number two.
-
That relationships in Christ are more
-
permanent and more precious
-
than relationships in families.
-
And of course, it is a wonderful thing
-
if relationships in families can be both
-
relationships in families
and relationships in Christ,
-
but we know good and well
-
that is, for many of us,
not the case.
-
Number three.
-
That marriage is temporary,
-
and finally gives way to the
-
relationship to which it was
pointing all along,
-
namely, Christ and the church.
-
Just like a picture is not needed
-
when you are seeing face to face.
-
And fourth.
-
That faithfulness to Christ
defines the value of life,
-
and all other relationships
get their significance from that.
-
Faithfulness to Christ.
-
No family relationship is ultimate.
-
Relationship to Christ is ultimate.
-
That's my message.
-
That's my main point.
-
It has many layers.
-
And we now need to see Bible
-
underneath it,
-
and where all of that comes from.
-
And we'll start in the
middle of the Bible,
-
then we'll go back to
the front of the Bible,
-
then to the end of the Bible.
-
And we'll be all over the Bible
in this message,
-
because this message is a
-
Biblical theology of singleness.
-
Isaiah 56:4-5
-
"For thus says the Lord:
-
To the eunuchs...
-
(that is, those that cannot procreate
-
and thus devote themselves to some
-
unique service...
-
a king or somebody.)
-
Thus says the Lord: To the eunuchs
who keep My Sabbaths,
-
who choose the things that please Me
and hold fast My covenant.
-
I will give in My house
and within My walls
-
a monument and a name,
-
better than sons and daughters.
-
I will give them an everlasting name
-
that shall not be cut off."
-
So God promises to obedient eunuchs...
-
blessings that are better than that
of sons and daughters.
-
In other words,
-
God promises those of you
who remain single in Christ,
-
blessings that are better than
being married and having children.
-
Now, to see that more clearly,
-
we need to go back to the beginning
-
of the Bible and make our way forward.
-
In the created order,
-
before there was any sin in the world,
-
and in the covenental order
-
between Abraham and the coming of Christ,
-
God is primarily building
His covenant people
-
through the mechanism
of procreation.
-
In other words, being married
-
and having offspring was of
paramount importance.
-
Because God was focusing His
Kingdom building efforts
-
on an ethnic people - Israel - primarily.
-
So, to be married and to have children
-
was the preservation of a name
and inheritance
-
and of a covenant.
-
So you get in Genesis 1:28,
-
"Be fruitful and multiply,
and fill the earth."
-
Genesis 2:18
-
This is all before the fall.
-
Genesis 2:18
-
Before woman was made,
God says to Adam,
-
"It is not good that man
should be alone.
-
I will make a helper
fit for him."
-
And then when God chose Abraham
-
as the beginning of that
covenant people of Israel.
-
He says to him,
-
go out and look at those stars.
-
So shall your offspring be.
-
And when Abraham found
that he couldn't have children
-
because Sarah was barren,
-
he went and got himself
a child by Hagar,
-
and said to the Lord,
-
"Oh, that Ishmael might
live before You."
-
And God said, "No."
-
"But Sarah your wife will
have a son."
-
In other words,
-
physical offspring really mattered.
-
And it would come
God's way and God's time.
-
And then He reaffirmed that
-
to Isaac in Genesis 26:3,
-
"I will be with you,
and I will bless you,
-
for to you and your offspring,
I will give all these lands,
-
and I will establish the oath
that I swore to Abraham,
-
your father."
-
And again, physical offspring
is seen to be crucial.
-
The reason these offspring
are so crucial,
-
is because they're the way the covenant
-
is preserved and extended
-
on into the future.
-
And because a name would be lost.
-
A name would be lost.
-
Do you remember how Saul
plead with David
-
not to wipe out his offspring,
-
so that his name would
not be erased is what he said
-
1 Samuel 24:21
-
"Swear to me therefore
by the Lord
-
that you will not cut off
my offspring after me,
-
and that you will not destroy my name
-
out of my father's house."
-
And some of you remember,
-
the whole institution,
-
the very complex,
-
institution of Levirate marriage.
-
Remember that?
-
Where a man is obliged to
marry his deceased brother's widow
-
so that the name of the brother
would not be lost in the tribes.
-
And the ordination was that the
first son born would get the name
-
of the dead brother.
-
Listen to Deuteronomy 25:6.
-
"And the first son whom she bears
-
shall succeed to the name
-
of his dead brother, that his
-
name might not be blotted out
-
of Israel."
-
Now that's an amazing provision,
is it not?
-
For the perpetuation of the name
-
through the physical seed of
-
this man's wife and his brother.
-
The most famous illustration of that is?
-
Boaz and Ruth.
-
Remember?
-
He marries Ruth in order that
-
Elimelech and Mahlon, her husband
-
would not lose their name
and their inheritance.
-
Listen to these words,
-
"Ruth, the Moabite, the widow of Mahlon
-
I have bought to be my wife
-
to perpetuate the name of the dead
in his inheritance,
-
that the name of the dead
may not be cut off
-
from among the brothers,
and from the gate of his native place.
-
You are witnesses to this day."
-
Ruth 4:10
-
So you can see how crucial marriage
-
and offspring were to the preservation
-
of name and inheritance
and covenant.
-
No wonder Jephthah's daughter
-
asked for two months
-
not to bewail her impending death,
-
but to bewail her virginity.
-
An amazing story.
-
"So she said to her father,
-
'let this thing be done for me,
-
let me alone for two months,
-
that I may go up and down
on the mountains,
-
weep for my virginity,
-
I and my companions.'
-
And so he said, 'Go.'"
-
That's the background for
Isaiah 56:5.
-
That's the background.
-
To cause your jaw to drop.
-
And for you to stand amazed at this.
-
Thus says the Lord:
-
The eunuchs who keep My Sabbaths,
-
who choose the things that please Me,
-
hold fast to My covenant.
-
These unmarried, these childless ones.
-
I will give in My house
and within My walls
-
a monument and a name
better than sons and daughters.
-
I will give them an
everlasting name
-
that shall not be cut off.
-
Now where in the world
did that come from?
-
And where is that pointing?
-
It came from chapter 53.
-
Want to go there with me?
-
We read chapter 53, this
glorious prophecy of the Messiah
-
coming to be wounded
for our transgressions,
-
be crushed for our iniquities.
-
But do we ponder verse 10?
-
"It was the will of the Lord to crush Him."
-
This is what God did to
Christ on the cross.
-
Prophesied 700 years earlier.
-
"It was the will of the Lord to crush Him.
-
He has put Him to grief.
-
When His soul makes
an offering for guilt..."
-
There's our salvation.
-
"When His soul makes
an offering for guilt,
-
He shall see His offspring.
-
He shall prolong His days."
-
Indeed forever,
after the resurrection.
-
"The will of the Lord
shall prosper in His hand."
-
What does that mean?
-
He shall see His offspring?
-
Jesus was never married.
-
Don't you believe any
crazy movie that says He was.
-
The whole point is that
He wasn't married.
-
And that He was a dry tree
-
and a eunuch,
-
and a single man,
-
faithfully to the day
of His death.
-
That's the point.
-
This is another kind of offspring.
-
When Christ dies for sinners
like you and me,
-
who by grace put our faith in Him
-
and are united to Him,
-
we become His children.
-
And the children of God.
-
And a whole new way
of bringing offspring into being
-
takes precedence over the old way.
-
Which is why the next chapter,
-
54, begins like this:
-
"Sing, O barren one,
-
who did not bear,
-
break forth into singing
-
and cry aloud,
-
you who have not been in labor,
-
for the children of the desolate one
-
will be more than the children
-
of her who is married."
-
A whole new way of thinking.
-
A whole new way of growing
a family is coming into being
-
prophetically at this point,
-
and literally at the coming of Jesus.
-
So what does Jesus say
when He comes
-
to Nicodemus who cannot
change his worldview.
-
He just doesn't get it.
-
"Truly, truly, I say to you,
-
unless one is born again,
-
he cannot enter the kingdom of God."
-
I'm here to make children.
-
I'm here to build a family.
-
I'm here to give birth,
-
like you never knew.
-
And the Apostle Paul picks up
-
the strain in Galatians 3.
-
"Know then, that it is those who
-
are of faith who are the sons of Abraham."
-
Not the physical descendants.
-
"In Christ Jesus, you are
-
all sons of God through faith."
-
In other words, it's not
physical descent that
-
makes God's family.
-
The covenant people are the
people who are born of God,
-
and have faith in Jesus.
-
Peter picks up the theme.
-
Chapter 1:3
-
"According to His great mercy,
-
He has caused us to be
born again to a living hope
-
through the resurrection of
Jesus from the dead,
-
and to an inheritance..."
-
You want an inheritance?
-
You've got to have the
right Father.
-
God.
-
How do you get God as
your Father?
-
Be born again.
-
"...and to an inheritance, imperishable,
-
undefiled, unfading, kept in heaven
-
for you."
-
Jesus, Paul, Peter,
all of them saying,
-
children are born into God's family
-
and receive the inheritance
-
not by marriage.
-
Not by procreation.
-
But by faith and regeneration,
-
which means,
-
single people in Christ
have zero disadvantage
-
in bearing children for God.
-
And in many ways,
-
significant advantages.
-
Paul was single all his life.
-
Or at least, lest we overstate it,
-
single all of the life we knew him.
-
Because he says he has no wife
-
in 1 Corinthians 9,
-
but whether he is a widower,
we don't know.
-
So he has no wife in all
of the New Testament documents,
-
and he is a father
if there ever was one.
-
He says, 1 Corinthians 4:15,
-
He's talking to his church,
-
"Though you have countless
guides in Christ,
-
you have not many fathers.
-
I became your father in
Christ Jesus through the Gospel."
-
That's a single man talking.
-
Men. Single men.
-
"I became your father.
I'm your father.
-
Single and unmarried as I am."
-
Or let him speak for the women.
-
1 Thessalonians 2:7
-
"But we were gentle among you,
like a nursing mother
-
taking care of her own children."
-
And so it will be said of
many single women in Christ.
-
She was a great mother in the
church and never married.
-
Now, take heed and be careful
-
lest you trivialize what I'm saying.
-
As though you think that
-
Pastor John is
sentimentalizing singleness
-
to make the single folks
-
feel good in this series on marriage.
-
I could care less about
making anybody feel good.
-
I am declaring
-
the temporary and secondary nature
-
of marriage and family,
-
over against the eternal
and primary nature
-
of the church.
-
That's what I'm declaring.
-
I'm declaring the temporary
and secondary nature
-
of marriage and family
-
over against the primary
and eternal nature
-
of the family of God.
-
Hear that.
-
This is not trivial.
-
This is huge.
-
And I fear that we have
settled into our land
-
and our culture.
-
And idolized the family.
-
Idolized marriage.
-
We're here for a vapor's breath
-
and then we're gone.
-
What happens here is
relatively minor compared to
-
what will be after the resurrection.
-
This is no small thing I'm saying.
-
In the resurrection,
Matthew 22:30,
-
Jesus says,
-
"In the resurrection, they neither
marry nor are given in marriage,
-
but are like angels in heaven."
-
I am declaring the radical,
biblical truth
-
that being in a human family
-
is no sign of an eternal blessing.
-
Being in God's family
means being eternally blessed.
-
Relationships based on family
are temporary.
-
Relationships based on
union with Christ are eternal.
-
Marriage is a temporary institution,
-
and stands for something
that lasts forever,
-
namely our relationship to
Jesus Christ:
-
Church and Bridegroom.
-
And when His mother and His brothers
-
came to Him, Jesus,
and asked to see Him,
-
He said,
-
"Who is My mother?
-
Who are My brothers?"
-
And stretching out His hand
towards His disciples,
-
He said, "Here are My
mother and My brothers."
-
There's not a much more
radical statement in the Bible than that.
-
You want to be the mother of Jesus?
-
Follow Him.
-
The mother of God
is an obedient Christian.
-
"Blessed is the womb that bore You,
and the breasts at which You nursed."
-
A woman cried.
-
He turned and said to her,
-
"Blessed, rather, are those who
hear the Word of God and keep it."
-
Does this mean anything to you?
-
Does talking like that
change your worldview?
-
Oh, how blessed were the
breasts that gave You suck.
-
Oh, how blessed was the womb
that bore You.
-
He looks at that woman and says,
-
"You keep the Word of God,
and you'll be My mother."
-
Do not elevate natural processes
-
like procreation and childbearing
-
and marriage to anything
bigger than what they are.
-
Temporal, physical means
of keeping the world going,
-
and illustrations of Christ
and the church,
-
which when He comes,
fade away.
-
"Truly, truly, I say to you
-
there is no one who has left house,
-
or brothers, or sisters, or mother,
-
or father, or children, or lands
-
for My sake and the gospel,
-
who will not receive a hundred fold
now in this time,
-
houses, and brothers, and sisters,
-
and mothers, and children,
-
and lands with persecutions,
-
and in the age to come,
-
eternal life."
-
Single person,
-
married person,
-
do you want many mothers?
-
Do you want many children?
-
Brothers, sisters, lands?
-
A place to stay at night?
-
Be a part of the church.
-
Join the family of God.
-
It's a huge calling upon the church.
-
I'm not saying we do it very well.
-
But hear, church, what we're called to be.
-
Hear this.
-
You leave them, and you
get a hundred to replace
-
in the church - if
we're doing our job.
-
So what shall we say in view
of this amazing biblical vision
-
of the secondary and
temporary nature of marriage
-
and procreation?
-
What shall we say?
-
We should say what Jesus said,
-
and what Paul said,
following Jesus.
-
And here's what Jesus said.
-
Matthew 19:12
-
"There are eunuchs, who have
been so from birth.
-
There are eunuchs who have
been made eunuchs by men.
-
And there are eunuchs who have
made themselves eunuchs
-
for the sake of the
Kingdom of Heaven.
-
Let the one who is able to
receive this, receive it."
-
There is no reason that we should
-
take the phrase,
-
"made themselves eunuchs,"
-
to refer to any form of
physical sterilization.
-
There's no reason to take it that way.
-
Anymore than we take the words,
-
"if your eye causes you
to sin, gouge it out."
-
But we take both of them
very seriously.
-
If you can receive it,
receive it.
-
Some people choose,
by God's calling,
-
a life of devoted singleness
in Christ.
-
And to them He's promised,
-
a name and a memorial
-
better than the name
-
of marriage and children.
-
Paul picked it up
-
and put it most starkly in chapter 7.
-
Most of you single folks have read this
-
and pondered what this means for you.
-
I'll read verses 32, 33, 35
of 1 Corinthians 7.
-
"To the unmarried and the widows,
I say that it is good for them
-
to remain single as I am.
-
I want you to be free from anxieties.
-
The unmarried man is anxious
about the things of the Lord,
-
how to please the Lord.
-
The married man is anxious about
worldly things, how to please his wife.
-
I say this to secure your
-
undivided devotion to the Lord."
-
Paul speaks about each
having his own gift.
-
Verse 7.
-
One of one kind,
one of another kind.
-
In other words,
-
let him who is able to
receive it, receive it.
-
So, here we are at the end
where we began.
-
With all this Scripture underneath us now.
-
And I will give my main point again.
-
My main point of this message is,
-
God promises, those who remain
single in Christ
-
blessings that are better than
-
the blessings of marriage and children.
-
Now, if someone should ask
-
as I did,
-
how about both?
-
Wouldn't it be better
to have both?
-
The blessings of marriage and children,
-
and the eternal blessings?
-
There are two answers
to that question.
-
Number one.
-
You will learn sooner or later,
-
and you may as well learn now,
-
that the blessings of being with
Christ in heaven,
-
are so far superior
-
to the blessings of being married
and raising children,
-
that to ask this question,
-
wouldn't it be better to have both?
-
Is like asking,
-
"If you're going to give me the ocean,
-
can't I have a thimble as well?"
-
It does lose some of its force.
-
You just need to see heaven.
-
You need to see Christ.
-
better than we see Him,
-
to keep things in proper perspective.
-
That's the first answer.
-
Can I have a thimble with
the Pacific Ocean?
-
The second answer
to the question
-
is that both marriage and singleness
-
present us with unique trials
and unique opportunities
-
for sanctification.
-
Unique. Not the same. Different.
-
Both important.
-
And there will be unique
rewards for each.
-
And which is better will
depend not on
-
whether you were married or single,
-
but on how you responded to each.
-
So, I say it again,
-
to all singles in Christ,
-
who will be that way long term,
-
God promises you blessings
in the age to come
-
that are better, far better,
-
than the blessings of
-
marriage and children.
-
And that brings some responsibility
and calling with it.
-
I can imagine, somebody who
-
would rather me not make this emphasis,
-
saying, "what this bunch of singles
really needs to hear,
-
is that they should stop abdicating
-
their responsibility and postponing
-
the end of adolescence for about
thirty years."
-
Well, I've said that,
if you have ears to hear.
-
If you think what I'm saying here
-
is a license to extend adolesence
-
to 25, and 30, and 35,
-
while you play computer games
-
and don't take up
your cause for Christ?
-
And lay your life down for Him?
-
With all this time you have?
-
Then you don't understand
anything I've said.
-
I am summoning singles
to a radical devotion to Jesus Christ
-
which means grow up
and become a dad at 25
-
and single the rest of your life,
if God wills.
-
And a mother at 25,
of a spiritual family that you disciple
-
who are born, not of going to bed
with a girl or a guy.
-
The strongest, most Christlike
single is the one
-
who is virgin till death.
-
And may it be so for many.
-
What a glory!
-
What a reward!
-
And the world will tell you,
"That's a waste."
-
That's a waste.
-
They don't know anything.
-
How's your worldview?
-
Are you buying into it?
-
Then you're gone.
-
Then life.
-
There are four truths
-
that singles can display
in this world
-
better than married people.
-
I've spent nine weeks
-
telling married people
-
how to display Christ
and the church.
-
And I'm taking one week
-
to say to single people
-
what's the counterpart drama
in your life.
-
What are you supposed to display?
-
If me and Noel, if we, are
supposed to display
-
Christ and the church
in our relationship,
-
what's singleness about?
-
It's about these four truths.
-
Number one.
-
Displaying that the family of God
grows not by propogation through
-
sexual intercourse,
-
which you avoid and abstain from
-
because you believe in Christ.
-
But rather it grows by
regeneration and faith in Christ,
-
and you give your life
to begetting such children.
-
Second.
-
The relationships in Christ are more
permanent and more precious
-
than the relationships in families,
-
and therefore we'll give our lives
to cultivating relationships
-
that last forever.
-
Noel and I won't be
married in the Kingdom.
-
That's huge in the way
singles and marrieds think
-
about relationships and friendships
-
and covenant bonding with people.
-
Number three.
-
That marriage is temporary.
-
It finally gives way to the relationship
-
to which it's been pointing all along:
-
Christ and the church.
-
And fourth.
-
Faithfulness to Christ
-
defines the value of life.
-
And all other relationships
-
get their significance from this.
-
Faithfulness to Christ.
-
No family relationship is ultimate.
-
Relationship to Christ is ultimate.
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So, to Him be glory,
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in the Christ-exalting drama of marriage,
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and to Him be glory,
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in the Christ-exalting drama
of the single life.
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Amen.
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Let's pray.
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Father, I am very aware
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that that's an orientation message
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on the way to look at things biblically.
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And many questions for individuals
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now remain to be answered.
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Which I cannot answer for them.
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One has one gift,
one has another.
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Let him who can receive it,
receive it.
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But You can answer, Lord.
You can answer.
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Is it marriage?
Or is it singleness?
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And Your answer doesn't arrive
always when we want to hear it,
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and so I pray that all the singles
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will be patient with You and with life.
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And they will be devoted
utterly to You.
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Now and if they marry.
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Devoted utterly to You in marriage.
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So make Yourself supreme
in the life of singleness.
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And supreme in the life of marriage,
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I pray.
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In Jesus' name,
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Amen.