-
(male narrator)
Please take this opportunity
-
to adjust the volume
on your television set.
-
[man inhales sharply]
-
[coughs twice]
-
(male narrator)
Millions of disease-causing germs
-
[sound of sneeze in background]
-
are launched into the atmosphere
-
every time someone coughs or sneezes.
-
It is customary
-
to cough and sneeze into one's hands,
-
supposedly to prevent
the spread of germs.
-
But germs get onto the cougher's hands,
-
and are spread to telephones
and doorknobs,
-
and from there they are spread
to other people's hands
-
and mouths
-
and who knows where else.
-
The best place to cough is into fabric,
-
such as one's sleeve, [cough, cough]
-
[squeaky sounds]
where germs are trapped
-
while they desiccate and die.
-
But people in polite society
-
do not cough into their sleeves.
-
[woman sneezing]
-
Such behavior is frowned upon.
-
The purpose of this video
[woman sneezing]
-
is to make coughing into one's sleeve fashionable,
-
and even patriotic.
-
It's the right thing, the polite thing to do.
-
You will now see four excellent,
-
slightly different coughing techniques
-
executed first into the right sleeve
and then into the left.
-
[man coughs repeatedly]
-
The technique will vary
-
depending on your dimensions,
-
the flexibility of your joints,
-
whether you are wearing long
or short sleeves,
-
and your ability to cough at an angle.
-
Notice the slight change of position
during a sneeze,
-
[man sneezes]
A-choo!
-
with the nose a little lower.
-
You will now see a series
of coughs and sneezes
-
performed by random subjects.
-
Their coughs will be judged
-
by our panel of three
infectious disease experts:
-
Dr. Graham Stain,
-
Dr. Blood Hagar,
-
and Dr. Polly Morf.
-
First, the coughs.
[woman coughs]
-
(female judge)
That would be a four.
-
(male judge 1)
That's a three.
-
(male judge 2)
3.4
-
(male judge 1)
It was way too close to the hands.
-
(female judge)
The left hand was needlessly contaminated.
-
[man coughs]
-
(male judge 1)
Ten, perfect!
-
(female judge)
Nine, great!
-
(male judge 1)
Hand on opposite shoulder
-
creates a mask at the elbow.
-
(female judge)
And no qualms about messing up his beautiful suit.
-
(male judge 2)
9.9, that's ideal.
-
[man coughs]
-
(male judge 2)
4.7
-
(female judge)
Five.
-
(male judge 1)
Four.
-
(male judge 2)
He should cough into his bicep.
-
(female judge)
The elbow's a bad target
for people with long arms.
-
(male judge 1)
Way too leaky at the elbow.
-
[woman coughs]
-
(female judge)
Eight, easy, practical.
-
(male judge 1)
Eight, I like it.
-
(male judge 2)
7.6, almost as good as the black suit guy.
-
[man coughs]
-
(female judge)
Pathetic, zero!
-
(male judge 1)
Awful, not fit for a health care field.
-
(male judge 2)
Oh, jeez, what planet did he come from?
-
(male narrator)
Now, the sneezers.
-
[man sneezes]
A-choo!
-
(female judge)
Two, he contaminated his hands!
-
(male judge 1)
One.
-
(male judge 2)
3.5
-
(male judge 1)
Aw, yuck, why bother with the Kleenex?
-
(female judge)
Why do they always smile
-
when they're finished?
-
[woman sneezes]
A-choo!
-
(male judge 1)
That's a one.
-
She should go and was her hands now.
-
(female judge)
Two.
-
(male judge 2)
Her right hand's more dangerous than her left.
-
[man sneezes]
Ugh-a-choo.
-
(female judge)
Five, his hands got hit.
-
(male judge 2)
5.2, impractical.
-
(male judge 1)
Four.
-
[girls sneeze in unison]
A-a-ah-choo!
-
(male judge 1)
Nine, wow!
-
Great germ entrapment.
-
(male judge 2)
8.9, nearly perfect.
-
(female judge)
Nine, great.!
-
But they messed up their hair.
-
(male judge 1)
Who let him back in?
-
[man sneezes]
A-choo!
-
(male judge 1)
Get that guy out of here.
-
(female judge)
Disgusting, yuck.
-
(male judge 2)
He doesn't rate the time of day.
-
[woman sneezes]
A-a-choo!
-
(female judge)
A perfect 10!
-
What more can I say?
-
(male judge 2)
9.9.
-
(male judge 1)
Ten, awesome.
-
She's the one to imitate.
-
(male narrator)
We must train ourselves
-
to cough into the nearest appropriate fabric,
-
which is usually a sleeve.
-
[woman coughs]
-
Most health care garments
-
lend themselves well to this technique.
-
Unfortunately,
[woman coughs]
-
many street clothes do not.
-
[sizzling sound]
Sssssssss.
-
[woman coughs]
-
To avoid messes,
-
we should formulate coughing strategies
-
for the clothes and accessories
we are wearing each day.
-
[woman coughs]
-
(female speaker)
Oh, I could have saved my shirt
-
if I did that the first time. [sighs]
-
(male narrator)
Paper tissues are good cough recepticals
-
when they are placed
over the mouth properly.
-
But using them usually
results in hand contamination.
-
[woman coughs]
-
They should not be re-used.
-
Handkerchiefs suffer
-
from the same hand contamination
-
and re-use problems,
-
and they have the additional disadvantage
-
of poor accessibility.
-
[man sneezes]
A-choo!
-
(female customer)
Ew, eeeww!
-
(male narrator)
From an infection control standpoint,
-
[woman coughs]
-
the perfect answer would be an armband
-
that could be changed after each use.
-
However, society is not yet ready
-
for such a radical change.
-
So, in keeping with the recommendations
-
of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention,
-
why don't we just do it in our sleeves?
-
[woman sneezes] A-choo!
-
(male narrator)
It's the right thing,
-
it's the polite thing to do.
-
[rock group performing "Johnny B. Goode"]
-
(male narrator)
And remember:
-
if you make a mistake and cough or sneeze
-
into your hands,
-
[man sneezes;
rest of group articulates disgust]
-
Aw, man, come on!
-
(male narrator)
Please, wash them immediately.
-
[water running]
