Billie Eilish "idontwannabeyouanymore" Official Lyrics & Meaning | Verified

California singer-songwriter Billie Eilish released her debut EP ‘dont smile at me’ in 2017 after going viral with “ocean eyes” a year prior. One of the singles from the release, “idontwannabeyouanymore,” finds the teenage singer addressing her insecurities. Produced by her older brother FINNEAS, the track has been streamed over 26 million times on Spotify and its music video has over 4 million YouTube views.

Read more on Genius: https://genius.com/a/billie-eilish-breaks-down-idontwannabeyouanymore-on-genius-series-verified

Read all the lyrics to Billie Eilish’s “idontwannabeyouanymore” on Genius: https://genius.com/Billie-eilish-idontwannabeyouanymore-lyrics

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#BillieEillish #idontwannabeyouanymore #Verified

I really, really, really,
really hate myself.

You know, you can feel
so unbelievably lost and horrible

and like you're nothing
and you're invisible

and...
for no reason at all.

Which is almost worse
than having a reason.

It's the way that
my brain works.

And it's like, you know,
"Billie, what's wrong?"

"I don't fucking know."

Like, "Me, that's what."

It's like, "Who hurt you?"

I'm like…

I have a song called "COPYCAT."

You all know that already.

"COPYCAT" is basically about someone doing
fucking everything you do.

The idea of "idontwannabeyouanymore"
was sort of exactly the opposite.

So "COPYCAT" is like,
"You wanna be me so bad."

"I'm the shit, but really no, I'm not."

It's like, "You wanna be me,"
I look over at the mirror, over here.

"I don't wanna be you."

It's so annoying to feel like this
all the time, all the time.

And it's like, If someone is like,
"Oh God, you fall apart so much."

"You're so annoying.
You're always fucking sad."

I'm like, "I know."

I have to be in this bitch all the time.

I'm aware of how annoying it is.

You know, as many people
can try to help me

and talk to me and whatever
but it doesn't change anything.

The only person that can change the way that
I feel is me, and that's not gon’ happen.

I don't feel comfortable telling you why I
feel like that.

I just feel like if I say it out loud ... It's
the same with people.

I feel like when I was younger if I liked
a boy or whatever I wouldn't tell anybody

because if I told them then it would make
it true and something would have to go wrong.

That's just how it has been always.

So it's like if I say, "Hey, I really need
help."

"I really need help, I'm not okay."

"I need someone," which is what's going on
in my head, it's not gonna do anything but

make me more aware of it and make me wanna
drown in a pit of lava even more.

I just think models are maybe the saddest
people in the world.

Their job is always being looked at.

That's their job.

My brother actually came up with the idea
for that line.

It was really interesting to me because I
took it in so many different ways.

Models are the people that everyone look up
to.

Models are known to be, “These are your
role models."

This is your standard.

You have to look like this and be like this
and do this and this and this.

That's been known forever and it changes all
the time, but if it keeps changing why does

it have to be there at all?

I've never said anything that I meant more
than that.

You are always you.

Forever.

That's terrifying.

That line is actually my favorite line I've
ever written in my life.

When I was younger we used to have these things
called Homeschool Fridays where every Friday
all my homeschooled friends would come over
and we'd do a craft and we'd play outside.

It was so fun.

Oh my God, it was so fun.

But we used to make candles.

So basically you take whatever you want the
shape to be and you put it inside this thing

and you pour this weird goo in it and then
you freeze it or leave it out or whatever

until it hardens and then you take the mold
out and everything.

Then you'd have this thing with this hole.

It looked like a flashlight, low key.

Oh my God!

Then you'd pour the candle in it, the candle
wax I guess and then you'd let that dry and

then eventually you'd break the mold in half
and you'd have a candle with exactly the shape
that the mold was.

But sometimes the mold would break.

That line is basically like, there's all these
perfect people. Nobody is perfect

but perfect people around me.

It's like, "Well what's wrong with me?”

We've made every mistake together.
Me and my bitch Billie.

She's my ho.

She makes all these mistakes but I help her
out with every single one.

We make them together.

We're a team.

But I hate her.

Ugh!

I will never know what you're thinking right
now, ever.

Even if you tell me I still don't know
because you could be lying.

"Only you know
the way that I break."

No matter how many times
I tell people, "It's this."

"It's that. It's nothing."

It's something and it's up here.