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← Billie Eilish "idontwannabeyouanymore" Official Lyrics & Meaning | Verified

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Showing Revision 6 created 10/23/2019 by Alexandre Clemente.

  1. I really, really, really,
    really hate myself.
  2. You know, you can feel
    so unbelievably lost and horrible
  3. and like you're nothing
    and you're invisible
  4. and...
    for no reason at all.
  5. Which is almost worse
    than having a reason.
  6. It's the way that
    my brain works.
  7. And it's like, you know,
    "Billie, what's wrong?"
  8. "I don't fucking know."
  9. Like, "Me, that's what."
  10. It's like, "Who hurt you?"
  11. I'm like…
  12. I have a song called "COPYCAT."
  13. You all know that already.
  14. "COPYCAT" is basically about someone doing
    fucking everything you do.
  15. The idea of "idontwannabeyouanymore"
    was sort of exactly the opposite.
  16. So "COPYCAT" is like,
    "You wanna be me so bad."
  17. "I'm the shit, but really no, I'm not."
  18. It's like, "You wanna be me,"
    I look over at the mirror, over here.
  19. "I don't wanna be you."
  20. It's so annoying to feel like this
    all the time, all the time.
  21. And it's like, If someone is like,
    "Oh God, you fall apart so much."
  22. "You're so annoying.
    You're always fucking sad."
  23. I'm like, "I know."
  24. I have to be in this bitch all the time.
  25. I'm aware of how annoying it is.
  26. You know, as many people
    can try to help me
  27. and talk to me and whatever
    but it doesn't change anything.
  28. The only person that can change the way that
    I feel is me, and that's not gon’ happen.
  29. I don't feel comfortable telling you why I
    feel like that.
  30. I just feel like if I say it out loud ... It's
    the same with people.
  31. I feel like when I was younger if I liked
    a boy or whatever I wouldn't tell anybody
  32. because if I told them then it would make
    it true and something would have to go wrong.
  33. That's just how it has been always.
  34. So it's like if I say, "Hey, I really need
    help."
  35. "I really need help, I'm not okay."
  36. "I need someone," which is what's going on
    in my head, it's not gonna do anything but
  37. make me more aware of it and make me wanna
    drown in a pit of lava even more.
  38. I just think models are maybe the saddest
    people in the world.
  39. Their job is always being looked at.
  40. That's their job.
  41. My brother actually came up with the idea
    for that line.
  42. It was really interesting to me because I
    took it in so many different ways.
  43. Models are the people that everyone look up
    to.
  44. Models are known to be, “These are your
    role models."
  45. This is your standard.
  46. You have to look like this and be like this
    and do this and this and this.
  47. That's been known forever and it changes all
    the time, but if it keeps changing why does
  48. it have to be there at all?
  49. I've never said anything that I meant more
    than that.
  50. You are always you.
  51. Forever.
  52. That's terrifying.
  53. That line is actually my favorite line I've
    ever written in my life.
  54. When I was younger we used to have these things
    called Homeschool Fridays where every Friday
    all my homeschooled friends would come over
    and we'd do a craft and we'd play outside.
  55. It was so fun.
  56. Oh my God, it was so fun.
  57. But we used to make candles.
  58. So basically you take whatever you want the
    shape to be and you put it inside this thing
  59. and you pour this weird goo in it and then
    you freeze it or leave it out or whatever
  60. until it hardens and then you take the mold
    out and everything.
  61. Then you'd have this thing with this hole.
  62. It looked like a flashlight, low key.
  63. Oh my God!
  64. Then you'd pour the candle in it, the candle
    wax I guess and then you'd let that dry and
  65. then eventually you'd break the mold in half
    and you'd have a candle with exactly the shape
    that the mold was.
  66. But sometimes the mold would break.
  67. That line is basically like, there's all these
    perfect people. Nobody is perfect
  68. but perfect people around me.
  69. It's like, "Well what's wrong with me?”
  70. We've made every mistake together.
    Me and my bitch Billie.
  71. She's my ho.
  72. She makes all these mistakes but I help her
    out with every single one.
  73. We make them together.
  74. We're a team.
  75. But I hate her.
  76. Ugh!
  77. I will never know what you're thinking right
    now, ever.
  78. Even if you tell me I still don't know
    because you could be lying.
  79. "Only you know
    the way that I break."
  80. No matter how many times
    I tell people, "It's this."
  81. "It's that. It's nothing."
  82. It's something and it's up here.