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IF HOLIDAYS WERE REAL

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    -Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg
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    -Shut up!
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    -[sighs] Come on, Ian. Hurry up.
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    -[Ian groans] Saint Patrick's Day is so dumb.
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    Do Irish people even believe in this stupid leprechaun crap?
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    -Okay, I know it sounds little crazy, but all holidays are like that.
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    Can you imagine how stupid it'd be
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    if holidays were actually realistic?
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    -Ahh! What the hell?!
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    I'm f--king stuck! F--king motherf--ker!
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    [yelling]
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    -Oh, this Easter egg hunt is so cool!
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    -I got jellybeans in mine.
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    -Hey, where do you think these come from, anyway?
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    -[grunting sound]
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    Happy Easter! [grunting]
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    -[whimpers]
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    [retches]
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    -[speaking slowly]: I think the both of our peoples
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    working together can benefit everyone.
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    -Why is he talking like that?
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    -I think he might be mentally challenged.
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    -That explains the stupid hat.
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    -Pika! Pika! I got so much candy!
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    -Check every piece of candy before you eat it, young man.
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    You know there might be razor blades in there.
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    -Come on, Mom. When has anyone ever-- Bleeh!!
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    -[slurring]: I wanna make out with someone
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    and blame it on being drunk!
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    -Okay, class.
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    Christopher Columbus definitely intended to find America,
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    he definitely found America first,
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    and he definitely wasn't responsible
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    for the savage murder of all the natives.
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    -Good. Good.
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    -[affectionately]: I love you, my snickernoodle.
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    -(both) You're so cute.
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    -(Anthony) I love you. I love you more. -I wuv you.
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    -So... what'd you get me for Mother's Day, son?
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    -[scoffs] You're not my mom.
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    -Or am I?
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    Yeah, that idiot totally bought it.
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    I'm getting a Father's Day AND a Mother's Day gift this year.
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    Yeah! -Life hack!
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    -Yeah, I guess that would be pretty dumb.
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    -Told you.
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    -Well, I'm gonna go pinch some people for not wearing green.
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    Pinch. [laughs devilishly]
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    [hums]
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    -[Irish accent]: Well, you tell that bitch, Tinkerbell,
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    she'd better have all me money and in gold, too.
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    -[thinking]: Oh, my God, leprechauns are real!
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    -I had 20 bucks on Notre Dame, the lousy--
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    -I caught you, leprechaun! Now take me to your gold!
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    -Oh, dang it.
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    All right, get it there.
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    -Okay. -Go on.
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    I'll give you some gold.
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    -(Ian) So where's the gold?
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    [unzipping sound] Why are you unzipping that?
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    [leprechaun laughing] Oh, my God! No!
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    No, please! No! Oh God, it hurts!
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    Please stop, it hurts!
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    -What's wrong, boy?
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    -The gold coins are hurting my hands.
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    -Well, at least you got some free money.
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    -I certainly did!
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    -Always trust a man in a big white van
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    [ding!]
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    -To see bloopers and a scene for April Fools' Day
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    and birthday-- is that even a holiday?--
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    click the link in the description below!
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    -[cheers]
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    -Thanks for subscribing!
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    Now I'm off to go buy a white van.
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    [creepily]: Anyone want some freee goooold?
  • 4:11 - 4:14
    [chuckles creepily] Captioned by SpongeSebastian
Title:
IF HOLIDAYS WERE REAL
Description:

WATCH APRIL FOOL'S, BIRTHDAY, & BLOOPERS: http://bit.ly/MOREholidays

Anthony and Ian find out what it would be like if holidays were realistic.
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Hey it's our very own website: http://smosh.com
Oh and our Facebook page: http://facebook.com/smosh
Want to know when we're filming and/or pooping? Now you can: http://twitter.com/smosh

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Video Language:
English
Duration:
04:15
Sebastian Andrade-Miles added a translation

English subtitles

Revisions