What is Biblical Forgiveness? - Tim Conway

Okay, you can turn in your Bibles

with me this morning

to Ephesians 4.

I'm not skipping the rest of 3.

This is actually not part

of the Ephesians series.

This is one more topical message.

I think next Sunday, Lord willing,

we will resume Ephesians 3.

Let's pray.

Oh Father,

I feel weak.

These songs have expressed it -

our weakness.

Where else would we go, Lord,

but to You?

We know that it is the very
characteristic of the wicked

that they don't call upon You.

But Lord, we call upon You.

We need You.

Lord, we don't want this
to be an exercise in futility.

We recognize when a man stands up

to open up the Word of God,

what is that?

It's something that You've prescribed.

It's something You've designed.

Something can happen.

It doesn't always happen,

but something can happen.

Something transformative,

something life-changing,

something upbuilding can happen

if You but own it.

Lord, I pray, own this next hour.

Please. I pray in Christ's name.

Amen.

Ephesians 4:32.

I am reading, actually,

the parallel passage; the parallel verse

to the 2nd of the 3 that Craig read

in the first hour.

If you're not already aware,

Ephesians and Colossians

obviously are not identical books.

And there's aspects to them

that are not parallel,

but there is a great parallelism

between the two.

Some of the same thoughts

and same ideas are communicated

in both of them.

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted,

forgiving one another as God in Christ

forgave you."

Now when Craig read it,

we weren't conspiring

about what we were going to preach today.

When he read the three verses that he read

I thought, oh no, Craig,

don't deal with forgiveness.

And he even mentioned Denton I think,

and I thought, oh no,
where's he going with that?

What did you say about Denton?

Oh, Jesse's - yeah, when
you mentioned that

I thought, oh no! He's
going to talk about -

not Jesse's but somebody else's.

Forgiveness.

As many of you are aware,

the topic of forgiveness came up

at this year's Fellowship Conference

in Denton, Texas.

And it not only came up,

but if you were there,

such things happened at the conference

that have not happened in others.

We had a pastoral response immediately

to a sermon that was given.

And I know there was disagreement.

If you weren't there,
it pertained to forgiveness.

There was lots of discussion.

There's been discussion even here.

I almost just went back
to my Ephesians study

and got away from this,

but last time two weeks
ago when I preached,

there were some folks that were saying

we thought you were going
to touch on forgiveness.

And I think James even
said something to me

and I thought, well, okay,
maybe I should do that.

I had some people say they were confused.

I had some people that said,

well, they heard the message
and they weren't confused,

and then they heard the two
pastors that responded afterwards

and they were confused.

And it seemed like there
was a measure of confusion,

and if there's anything that
I don't want to have happen,

I don't want there to be any confusion

on the subject in our church.

So that's I wanted to visit it again.

Maybe you listened to all that

and you said we don't even
know what the big deal was.

Maybe you listened to it

and you heard exactly
what the big deal was

and maybe you came down
on one side or the other.

Look, quite honestly,

I am not the guy who's out
there on the Internet

just looking for a debate,

looking for something I disagree with

that I can just engage in.

I'm not doing this just simply

to throw my opinion in
to an ongoing debate.

That's not it.

And I have no desire

to have anybody ask me
about the opinions of others,

or what brother so-and-so meant,

or why did he say this,

or why did the other
pastor respond this way?

I was down in Monterrey one time

and in a Q&A time, somebody said,

"Could you explain how
Charles Leiter's position

differs from Josef Urban's
position in this?"

And it's like, "No, I can't do that."

I'm not going to speak for other men.

And I don't want to do that.

And I don't want to be in the position

of trying to tell you what different men

mean by what they said.

That's not my objective here.

What I want to do is simply

have us look at Scripture

and my aim is pastoral.

I'm concerned that we as a church

not be confused about the nature

of biblical forgiveness.

So I'll get right to the point.

Here in Ephesians,

the Apostle Paul exhorts Christians -

you see it.

Look at verse 32:

"Forgiving one another..."

And here's the big term: "as."

And all your Bibles have it.

"...As God in Christ forgave you."

Now some take this verse to mean this:

Well, since we are to
forgive as God forgives,

let's think, hm, how does God forgive?

Well, since God never forgives anybody

unless they repent,

therefore that's what it means

by "forgiving as God forgives."

That I will not forgive anybody,

or I should not forgive anybody,

unless they repent.

That's basically how the logic goes.

And if in fact we were to
forgive the unrepentant,

we're not forgiving as God forgives,

because God doesn't forgive
unless there's repentance.

Now, at first glance,

that might sound like
tremendous reasoning.

It might sound reasonable.

It might sound like good logic.

But I would propose this to you.

That is a forcing a meaning here

that is not to be found in the context.

And one of the things that I fear

happened at the conference

is this text was brought
out of its context

and a point that the preacher

was already determined to make,

he found in this text
and he made it with it

because it kind of lent itself to it.

The problem is that taken in context,

I don't believe it bears
that meaning at all.

And so that's what I want to do.

Brethren, this has to do
with proper hermeneutics.

If you are going to interpret a verse,

don't take the verse by itself.

You can come up with a lot of meanings

for certain verses

if you wrench it out of its context.

But if you read the material around it,

if you get a feel, especially if you

read the whole epistle,

and you just get the feeling -

what does Paul have in mind here?

In this case, I don't believe we have to

read the whole epistle at all.

All we have to do is go back up to v. 17

and start to capture the feel

of the argument that Paul is making here.

Now, before we go back up
to v. 17 and begin reading,

I want to suggest another meaning.

Yes, it means what it says.

We are to forgive one another

as God forgives us,

but when Paul says that we're
to forgive one another

as God forgives us,

the meaning is not

that we're only supposed to forgive

those who repent.

Rather, the meaning is

that I am to freely bestow my forgiveness

to those who do not deserve it,

just like God bestows His forgiveness

to those who do not deserve it.

That's the issue.

And I'll prove that to
you from the context.

My point is this:

Paul isn't even dealing with
the terms of forgiveness.

Like: The person I'm forgiving,

do they need to have repented or not?

He's not dealing with the terms.

He's dealing with the heart.

He's dealing with the individual.

He's not even concerned about

whether the other person is repentant

or non-repentant -
that's not the issue here.

And I hope to convince you.

The idea that Paul is teaching here

that God only forgives those who repent,

so we're only to forgive
those who repent -

that seems to miss the
whole point of the passage.

Now, let's look at it.
Ephesians 4:17,

"For this I say and testify in the Lord

that you must no longer
walk as the Gentiles do."

Now, you probably should stop right there

because that's the context.

The context is:

Gentile conduct versus the conduct

of those who have learned of Christ.

Old man conduct versus new man conduct.

Listen, the problem with the Gentiles

is not that they indiscriminately
forgive everybody.

Over against, contrasted
with the Christian

who properly does it just like God does

and only forgives those who repent.

See, that's not the
problem of the Gentile.

The Gentile problem is not

that they forgive everybody;

that they forgive even
people that aren't repentant.

That's not even the thought here.

"We must no longer walk
as the Gentiles do..."

How do they walk?
"...In the futility of their minds,

they're darknened in their understanding,

they're alienated from the life of God."

That's the issue.

You know, the new man is created

in the likeness of God.

The old man, the lost man, the Gentile -

totally disconnected from God

"because of the ignorance that is in them

due to their hardness of heart.

They have become calloused

and have given themselves
up to sensuality,

greedy to practice
every kind of impurity."

But notice this - here's the contrast.

"But that is not the
way you learned Christ."

I love that. I can't
wait till we get to that.

Because that is Paul looking at

what is it that makes a true Christian

who is no longer a Gentile?

He's looked at Christ

and he's learned of Christ.

And you can tell.

Paul means that if you've learned Him,

your conduct, your action, your behavior,

your character is stamped by that image.

Now, he says this:

v. 21, "...assuming that
you have heard about Him."

He doesn't look at everybody
that's listening to him

and think, oh yeah,
they've got to be Christians

because they're sitting in the church

or because they're hearing
this epistle read to them.

He says, of course, assuming

that you did hear about Him

"...and were taught in Him

as the truth is in Jesus."

And what is this truth in Jesus?

"To put off your old man."

I know the ESV says "self."
The word is "man."

The old man.

The old you.

"...Which belongs to your
former manner of life

and is corrupt through deceitful desires."

And to be received, or renewed,

"...in the spirit of your minds."

So you see that, a renewing of the mind.

You put off the old man.

You see this comparsion.

Gentile - you learn Christ.

New man over against old man.

The mind.

V. 24, "to put on the new self

created after the likeness of God

in true righteousness and holiness."

What's Paul's point here?

Look, you cannot possibly continue to live

the old kind of life.

That's what he's saying.

Not if you've learned Christ - you can't.

It's not possible. Not if
you've really learned Christ,

and you really do know
the truth as it is in Jesus.

That's what he's saying.
It's an impossibility.

This is not the way you've learned Christ.

Assuming you have.

That's the issue.

You're no longer what you once were.

You're a new man.
You're not the old man -

carried about by all
those deceitful passions.

This is the comparison here.

This is the back and forth.

So what happens?

Well, you put off the old man.

You put on the new.

You know what happens in v. 25?

In v. 25, Paul begins to touch

specific realities.

He begins to touch on specifics.

Notice this, v. 25,

"Put away falsehood."

You see, he generally says

you put away the old man.

You put it off. You put on the new.

In v. 25, what he does is he breaks out

in some very particulars

about how that manifests
itself in real life.

And you see the contrast here

back and forth.

You have "put away falsehood."

So what do you put on?

Well, "let each of you speak
the truth with his neighbor."

And we could pull stuff out,

but it's very obvious in verses like 25.

V. 28, "Let the thief no longer steal."

That's what you put off.

But what do you put on?

You labor, but not only labor,

you do honest work with your hands.

But not only that,

so that you might have something to give.

You see, the old manner of life -

the new manner of life.

There's these contrasts
going back and forth.

Well, the reality is, v. 31 and 32

are a contrast.

And you need to capture that.

Because if you capture the contrast

of these two verses,

you recognize right away,

Paul is not contrasting Gentiles

who indiscriminately forgive everybody,

and saying, "oh no, we shouldn't do that.

You need to put that off.

And you need to put on forgiving people

the way God forgives,

and He only forgives the repentant."

That's not even here, folks.

Look at the contrast.

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger

and clamor and slander be put away."

You see again: put away, put away.

What is it that we put off?

"...Along with all malice."

And then what do we put on?

Kindness: "Be kind to one another,

tenderhearted, forgiving one another

as God in Christ forgave you."

Do you see it?

The "put away."

You know how contrast works?

You have opposites.

And the opposite of
kind, tender, forgiving,

is not undiscerning
and forgiving everybody.

The opposite is being bitter

and not forgiving at all.

That's the issue.

Angry, wrathful, clamorous, slanderous.

Paul isn't even thinking

about the person who offends me

and whether they've repented or not.

That's not even on his radar.

The conduct of that person -

he isn't thinking that.

Paul is concerned that we put on

an expression of the conduct of those

who are new men - no longer Gentiles.

The expression of those

who have learned of Christ.

What he's concerned with is the new man

that's in the likeness of God.

And what is God like?

God is a forgiving God.

God is rich in mercy.

We read that here in this epistle.

"Rich in mercy because of the great love

with which He loved us."

Mercy, grace.

And the thing is,

we don't deserve any of it.

And yet He freely bestowed -
yes, we repented,

but that's not the issue.

The issue is you didn't
deserve any of it at all.

That's the issue.

Notice, the companions here.

It's not that he's pointing out:

you need to be discerning

as to who's repented or not.

That isn't the companions
of forgiveness here.

The companions are kindness

and tenderheartedness.

Do you see what the issue is?

He's not concerned about the conditions.

He's not concerned about the shape

of the person that has offended us.

He's concerned about
what's coming out of us.

He's concerned about what that looks like.

Kindness, tenderheartedness.

These are the companions of forgiveness.

Just as the companion
of bitterness is what?

It's wrath.

It's anger. It's being hateful.

It's being unforgiving.

Bitterness.

What is bitterness?

You know bitter people -

doesn't the word "sour"?

Just sour people.

They're bitter.

They're unloving. They're unkind.

They never find good in anything.

They just seem to relish holding a grudge.

I mean, sometimes it's amazing,

you sit down with some people,

and they will bring up
something from the past -

it could have happened years ago -

like it happened yesterday.

Just not forgiving, never forgetting.

And then slanderous.
That's a companion there too.

Because they just can't
speak well of people.

That's the idea.

But that's not the way
we've learned Christ.

This is what it is to still walk

as the Gentiles do

in all that bitterness and ugliness.

You see, that's what
it is to be the old man.

When Paul's unwrapping all of this,

he's not even interested in the terms

of repentance.

He's interested in a God-likeness

being reflected by us.

A tenderness, a kindness,

a disposition to forgive.

The renewing of the mind -

we saw that there - verse 23.

"Be renewed in the spirit of your minds."

You see, is this not the issue

behind forgiveness?

It's that there's a change in the mind.

And we might go over there -

we're not going to take
the time right now -

but we might go to that extended parable

there in Matthew 18

because it just gives such the mindset.

What happens?

I'm saved! I freely forgive!

Why?

Well, yes, I'm changed.

Yes, I'm a new man.

Yes, I'm no longer a Gentile.

But I'm renewed in the spirit of my mind.

In my mind!

Something has happened in my thinking.

Look, it's not that I don't realize

that there are people who have

sinned against me or offended me.

But you know what you begin to realize?

I've offended other people

and I've sinned against other people,

but more than that,
I have sinned against God

and I have done such things

to despise His glory.

I realize how kind He's been to me

when I did not deserve it,

and to be gripped by the fact

of what God has done for
you if you're a Christian!

I mean, that's the thing.

How can you hold a grudge?

How can you be bitter

when all you have to do

is look at yourself in the mirror

and recognize...

you know, just start to list your crimes

and imagine people that have done

half your crimes

and they've been in hell...

You've sinned against light

that people back killed in the flood,

they never had.

And if it's going to be more tolerable

for people in Sodom and Gomorrah

than for people in this
age who've heard that,

you know what it tells me?

It tells me that there are people

who died in that flood

that are far less guilty because
they had far less light than you.

They've been in hell for millennia

suffering, weeping, wailing - and justly,

because their crimes demanded it.

You look at God.

Remember back to chapter 2.

"While you were still dead

in your trespasses," what happened?

God had mercy because of His great love

with which He loved you.

He made you alive in Christ

even when you were
dead in your trespasses.

Remember what God did for you
when you were unrepentant.

What happened?

When you were yet sinners,
Christ died for you.

Unrepentant - before your repentance.

Remember, God grants repentance

to the Gentiles.

Have you ever read that?

Just think about how God is moving,

what God is doing.

We love Him because He first loved us.

You just have to stop sometimes and think.

Be blown away by what God has done for you

because if you have that change of mind;

if that goes on;

if that's the renewing of mind

where you're grateful and you're thankful,

how can you look at somebody else

who's committed so much less?

Isn't that the parable
there in Matthew 18?

My debt was huge!

It makes it really difficult.

That's the issue in all of this.

All the undeserved love and sacrifice -

He spared not His only Son!

When you get gripped by this reality

you're suddenly freed from
the power of bitterness.

You show me a bitter Christian,

a bitter and unforgiving Christian,

and I'm going to show you somebody

that is deceived.

They're not a Christian.

I can say that on biblical grounds.

They're not a Christian.

You see, it's in this way

that God just sets us free

to be kind to those who don't deserve.

Do you recognize this?

When somebody sins against you,

that sin is a capital offense before God.

They don't deserve to be pardoned.

They deserve to be damned.

But when you forgive them,

you're being God-like.

That's the issue. That's the issue.

It's not terms of forgiveness.

It's the fact that you're forgiving those

who don't deserve your forgiveness.

You're pardoning those

who don't in any way deserve it.

Just like you didn't deserve it.

See, that's the issue.

That's what we really need to focus on.

You get people - I know there are people

who have been horribly wounded by others.

But we're able to forgive those things.

They don't deserve to be forgiven.

Why? Because God has forgiven you.

He's forgiven me.

Paul doesn't even remotely have in mind

terms of forgiveness.

That's not it.

This is all about your attitude,

about your disposition as a new man

forgiving out of love, kindness,

tenderness towards others.

So, okay, you might say,

okay, brother, we see that.

That is the contrast.

Contrasts are opposites.

The opposite to forgiving as God forgives

is bitterness.

It's wrath, it's anger,

it's obviously unforgiveness.

That's the issue.

The opposite Paul was bringing out

is not: you're not of a discerning spirit

and you need to figure out
who's repentant and who's not

and only forgive the repentant.

That's not the issue.

But you say, okay, even if Ephesians 4:32

isn't specifically saying that,

you haven't really proven that

that nevertheless is the case

because maybe it's taught somewhere else.

And I would say, that's right.

That's right, but because this

is a foundational text to
holding that position,

I wanted to show you that

that's not what it's teaching.

But here's what I want to show you next.

If you possess this heart of the new man,

this God-likeness,

true righteousness and holiness,

if this characterizes you,

you're one who's learned of Christ.

That is going to manifest itself

in at least three ways

that I want to show you from Scripture,

that I think just destroys
this whole mindset.

The first one, brethren, is 1 Peter 4:8.

And you need to turn there,

and you need to see this.

"Love covers a multitude of sin."

You know, if you look
at the text in Scripture

like Craig looked at this morning,

that give like this "above all,"

or, you've got that word here.

Love.

There's lots of Scriptures
in the New Testament -

this is the pinnacle; this is the sum

of what it means to reflect Christ.

"Above all, keep loving
one another earnestly

since love covers a multitude of sins."

Now, if you take that text -

before I say what I'm going to say -

let me just point something out.

The word "cover" - that
is a synonym for forgive.

If you say, hey, I'm not buying it.

The word forgive isn't here.

I don't think "cover"
means the same thing.

What does "cover" mean?

Cover basically means to hide or to bury.

And Scripture definitely uses

these two terms side by side

to express the forgiveness of sins.

And we can look at different places,

but the classic text would be this one.

You don't need to turn
there, but listen to it.

Psalm 32:1,

"Blessed is the one

whose transgression is forgiven,

whose sin is covered."

That is a Hebrew parallelism

where you basically have the same thing

stated back-to-back in different terms.

Covering sin is the same
thing as forgiving sin.

Covering sin is at the
heart of what it means.

It's the essence of what forgiveness is.

It's to cover it over.

It's to bury it. It's to hide it.

That's the idea.

What I want to show you is this,

"Above all, keep loving
one another earnestly."

And you see, here's the thing.

Here's what Peter sees.

As the love increases,

that church's ability
to cover sin increases.

Earnestly. Be earnest. Why?

Because where there's much love,

there's much covering.

Where there's lovelessness,

people become suspicious,

they become critical,

there's criticism.

They put the worst spin on things.

That's what happens.

And it's like, if for no other reason,

Peter goes right to this point that love

is going to produce that kind of fruit.

It's going to produce that kind of

looking past small offenses

and maybe even some larger ones.

Lovelessness. Lovelessness.

What happens then?
People are easily provoked.

You know, we talk about
being thin-skinned.

Thin-skinned churches

where people - it takes very little

to provoke somebody.

They're always easily offended.

Always magnifying the wrongs

committed against us.

But love...

Where love abounds,

love is going to look past.

Love is going to cover over.

Love covers a multitude of sins.

Many of the small and even
some of the larger ones,

they're readily overlooked.

They're readily forgotten.

The New American Standard -

Craig quoted this earlier -

but 1 Corinthians 13:5 (don't turn there),

but the New American
Standard says it this way:

"Love does not take into account

a wrong suffered."

The ESV says "resentful."

The old King James says,
"thinketh no evil."

But it's the idea of imputing evil.

You see, where there's no love,

people read things as evil.

They put that spin on it.

"Oh, you know why they did that."

"I'm offended."

There's always this suspicion,

looking at people through those lenses.

But where love is there,

it's like I love that brother.

And it's like John MacArthur says.

He just views people based on

what they're going to become

and what they'll be in Heaven.

That helps him.

Now look, I know that there's

two classic exceptions to this.

There's two places in Scripture

that clearly indicate

that it's impossible to
give a full expression

of forgiveness unless there is a full,

two-way transaction

in the forgiveness process.

And it's those cases spelled out

in Luke 17 and Matthew 18.

Now again, don't turn there please.

But it's those texts that basically,

and here's the thing,

if you look at Luke 17.

Let me read it to you. Don't turn there.

Luke 17 says this,
"Pay attention to yourselves.

If your brother sins, rebuke him.

If he repents..." there's repentance.

"If he repents..." that's conditional.

"...forgive him.

If he sins against you
seven times in the day,

turns to you seven
times saying, 'I repent,'

you must forgive him."

Now, the interesting thing is if you

look at the context of that,

that is basically Luke's account

of what you find in Matthew 18

where you get the fuller expression.

"If your brother sins against you,

go and tell him his fault

between you and him alone.

If he listens to you..."

Now, the word repentance isn't used there,

but if he listens to you -
it's the same idea.

"...You've gained your brother,

but if he does not listen..."
and it goes on.

So obviously there repentance is mandatory

or you actually put the
person out of the church.

But here's the thing,

that approach is clearly

from what Peter is teaching us

not the way to deal with everything.

There are times when forgiveness

should be the unconditional
response of love.

That is what Peter is teaching us.

Are there times when something
is aggravated enough

or are there times when somebody's
sin is hurting other people

and we need, out of love for them,

out of love for the whole church,

out of the love for the church

and not allowing leaven to
leaven the whole lump,

are there times when love demands

that we do pursue the sin? Absolutely.

Are there times that love demands

that we do pursue repentance? Absolutely.

But what Peter is teaching us

is that love will often

manifest itself exactly like this

where forgiveness is rendered to people

as an unconditional response of love.

Which is much to say that there are

many times where we are
going to deal with sin

simply by covering it over

and sweeping it under the rug.

That's what he's teaching.

You say, "(Gasp!) We can't do that!"

That's not the way God does it.

Well see, if you put that
meaning on forgiveness

then you come to that conclusion.

But again, I want to emphasize,

the heart of this is kindness

and it's tenderness.

And when you have a church

full of those kinds of people...

let me just ask you.

How do you want to be treated?

Do you want to be in a church

where every single offense,

somebody's right there?

That's grounds for confrontation!

Matthew 18! Did you see him?

He didn't say hi! Confront him!

He wasn't loving!

That wasn't loving!

He wasn't smiling!

Have you ever been around people

that want to attack you for everything?

You don't want to be
in a church like that.

(incomplete thought)

You know what it is to be around people

that are kind and tenderhearted

and how they deal with your rough edges

and inconsiderateness and impoliteness

and immaturities and the too often,

frequent, petty infractions... right?

We're not a perfect people.

And we come in here with
all of our rough edges.

Do you want somebody right there?

"Matthew 18! Matthew 18! I saw it!"

No, you don't want to be in that.

But you do want to be in a church

where if sin has a grip on you in a way

that's harming the church or harming you,

you want somebody to deal with it.

If it's the kind of leaven

that's really destructive to the church,

then out of love for all the church,

we definitely want to deal with it.

You know, there's just a feel.

Like Paul said to the Corinthians.

I think it has somewhat
of the feel of this.

You had Christians that
were suing each other.

And he said it's better to be wronged.

In other words, you would do better

to drop the court case
against your brother.

Just accept being wronged. Let it go.

Forgive and go on your way.

Better to be defrauded
than do what you're doing.

I think that has something
of the spirit of that.

So that's the first thing.

Brethren, you can't get away from it.

You cannot get away from it

that Peter is teaching

that there are many sins

that love covers without any condition

on the part of the offender.

That is the reality.

He sees the church, in fact,

the higher the love is,

the more we are going to

unilaterally, unconditionally,

without requiring
repentance of the individual

going to sweep it under the rug.

That's what he sees and that's why

he wants that kind of fervent love here.

He's not looking for a holy church.

That's not the issue.

The issue is kindness,

tenderness, forgiving.

That is entirely the opposite of unholy.

But here's the next thing.

Here's the next thing

that the spirit that Paul
is wanting us to reflect

of the new man,

here's another way
that it manifests itself.

It manifests itself in our prayer life.

Every place where Jesus talks

about forgiving when we pray -

unconditional.

And I want you to see it.

First one, Sermon on the Mount.

Go to Matthew 6.

I do want you to turn to these.

Here is another
manifestation of the new man

who's robed with kindness

and tenderness and forgiveness.

His prayer life is a constant witness

to his forgiving spirit.

If you don't know about this,

I want to challenge you.

Obviously, Jesus is not giving us

in any of these accounts

an exact formula for how we should pray.

When He says, "pray like this:

Our Father Who art in Heaven,

hallowed be Thy name..."

He certainly isn't saying that you

need to articulate that verbatim.

When He says pray like this,

He's meaning capture the essence

of His prayer.

Those should be areas of emphasis

in your own prayer life.

Matthew 6:9,

"Pray then like this,

'Our Father in Heaven,
hallowed be Your name.

Your kingdom come,
Your will be done

on earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread...'"

Now notice this.

It doesn't speak of transgressions.

It doesn't speak of sins specifically,

but the idea here is our debts.

"Forgive us our debts

as we also have forgiven our debtors."

Now if you define a debtor,

what is a debtor?

Somebody who owes you something.

They owe.

That's the idea behind a debtor.

The idea here is you have debtors,

which means what?

When somebody sins against you,

they owe you something.

That's the issue of hell.

You see, this is the problem with sin.

We incur a debt with God

that we just simply can't pay.

And Jesus paid it. All of it.

But here's the idea,

this says "our debtors."

There's no distinguishing

or delineating between

the debtor who repents

and the debtor who doesn't repent.

None of that.

"Lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil."

V. 14, "For if you forgive
others their trespasses,

your heavenly Father
will also forgive you.

But if you do not forgive
others their trespasses,

neither will your Father
forgive your trespasses."

Nothing to do with whether
they've repented or not.

I want you to see this
again in Mark's Gospel.

Mark 11:25.

Because Mark and Luke bring this out

in especially helpful terms.

Mark and Luke.

Mark 11:25,

"Whenever you stand praying, forgive

if you have anything against anyone."

What are you going to say about that?

That is entirely inclusive.

There's no exceptions there.

"So that your Father
also who is in Heaven

may forgive you your trespasses."

Now go over to Luke 11.

Because we see it again.

And again we have this superlative.

I mean, just a word
that's all-encompassing.

It's big. It's vast.

Luke 11:2, "He said to them,

when you pray, say,

'Father, hallowed be Your name,

Your kindgom come.

Give us each day our daily bread

and forgive us our sins,

for we ourselves forgive

everyone who is indebted to us,

and lead us not into temptation...'"

Here's the thing.

Here's the thing about the new man

who's put on Christ;

who's being transformed more and more

into the likeness of God.

True righteousness. True holiness.

He is able to go before God in prayer,

and you can see, Jesus wants us

talking to God about forgiveness.

Now isn't that interesting?

Let's just stop right there.

Why?

This is how a Christian is to pray.

Why should I be asking
God for forgiveness?

Let me ask you this.

Do you believe in the doctrine
of justification by faith?

Do you believe that the day
that you first genuinely believed

that all your sins were washed away?

Then why are you still
praying for forgiveness?

However you answer that question,

let me ask you something.

Has God already forgiven
you before you repent?

I'm hoping so!

You see, the argument even

concerning God and how He forgives sin

doesn't really stand

because there's a myriad of examples

of God forgiving sinners of their sin

before that sin was even committed.

I mean, if we really believe

in the doctrine of justification by faith,

and we really believe that all
of our sins are pardoned,

at a previous time we're
declared righteous

in the courtroom of God -

and yet, Jesus is teaching us

as Christians we should still be

confessing our sins.

That's part of being a Christian.

Why? Well, if we do sin,

we have an Advocate with the Father,

Jesus Christ the Righteous.

If we confess our sins, He's
faithful and just to forgive them.

There is no question that in
our relationship with God

in an ongoing fashion,

there's a place for bearing our souls

and confessing our sins to God.

What Jesus is teaching us

is when you do,

you should specifically refer

to how you forgive other people.

Isn't that clear from all of these texts?

He wants us mindful of that.

The reality is that the new man

who's convinced that God has saved him

of all these sins that he didn't
deserve to be forgiven of,

he can go before God in his prayer life

and he can look up

and he can lookinto the very face of God,

and he can say, "Father, forgive me,

because I know I haven't been perfect.

I know I haven't,

but forgive me as I forgive others."

And not just a put on like
Craig was talking about.

This isn't just something you say.

This isn't just lip service.

This isn't some hypocritical statement

that you lift up to God
and there's no reality in it.

You don't say it unless you mean it.

Which means, you ought
to be able to do inventory

every time you pray.

And ask yourself is there anybody -

do you do that?

I find that absolutely necessary.

I want a clear way to the Lord.

And it's like I can't go to the Lord

if there's something on my conscience.

I consider that to be a prayer-stopper.

It's more serious than that.

You can tell from these texts.

But I consider that to be a prayer-stopper

if there's any kind of bitterness,

any kind of separation.

If I feel like I know
somebody in the church

has this thing against me

and I have not yet tried to resolve that -

it's one thing if you try to resolve it

and as much as possible,

you're seeking to be
at peace with all men

and you've done what's
possible in your power.

There's some things that
no matter how hard you try...

but we ought to be able to say that.

Even people who have never repented.

It's like, Lord, I have forgiven them.

I'm not holding anything.

I don't know of any grudge
that I have against anybody.

There's no bitterness.

You want that!

That's clearly what Jesus is saying.

Your prayer life.

And you can see,

there's not a word here

in any of these verses about repentance.

It's not the issue.

Forgiveness here - it doesn't come in.

The man who knows that he's forgiven

only in and through the
shed blood of Jesus Christ,

he's a man who's constrained
to forgive others.

It really should be easy.

I mean, I'm telling you,

if I had some four billion
dollar debt with the bank,

and they forgave it,

and then somebody that owes me $40

comes and says they can't pay,

it's like seriously? Am I going
to have the guy strung up?

It's like God has forgiven me for so much!

Don't worry about it, brother!

But it's debt. And we feel it different.

We feel it more than just
financial because it's personal,

and it's insult, and it's offensive

because we're talking about sins;

we're talking about people wrong us.

Just having a debt against us

isn't necessarily wrong.

Maybe not being able to pay it,

there's some wrongness in that,

so we can take it personally.

But we don't have to take it personally

because God hasn't taken it so personally

that He's cast us into hell.

He so loved the world

that He put His own Son on that cross

and He allowed Him to
suffer what He suffered.

He crushed Him under His wrath.

He put that cup to His lips.

He poured His soul out like water.

And what are we going to do?

Look at this Son of God -

(incomplete thought)

among the sons of men -

here you've got John the Baptist,

and Jesus says the things
He says about him,

and he says I'm not worthy to touch

the latchet on his sandal.

We have One worth that much

and God did not spare Him,
but gave Him up for us,

who were what? Useless, worthless,

weak, wretched, hell-deserving.

We were children of wrath
like the rest of mankind.

And we're going to look at that

and after everything that
God has done for us?

In our prayer, there ought to be

such gratitude and thankfulness

and a realization - this is
the renewing of the mind.

Not always going before God

where you feel insulted,

like I haven't gotten
out of life what I deserve.

God, give me, give me, give me!

(Incomplete thought)

When you go before the Lord

and there's gratitude, like,

"Lord, I cannot believe You saved me."

It's really hard to look at somebody else

and say, "I'm not forgiving you."

I'm going to harbor this grudge,

so just deal with it.

So our prayer life,

clearly this prayer life,

there's no aspect here

of whether they've repented or not.

The prayer life is it should be one

where it's all covered; it's all released.

I'm not harboring it.

Yes, I know that some individuals

may need to repent in order

for there to be reconciliation

and for relationships to be restored

the way that would be best.

But that isn't the issue.

And the last one that I
want to bring up here is this:

Paul specifically mentions

learning Jesus.

Assuming that you have heard of Him

and have been taught the truth

as it is in Jesus.

But he assumes that
we've learned of Christ.

Brethren, we do not want to minimize

or dismiss or explain away

our Lord Jesus Christ on that cross

saying "Father, forgive them,

for they know not what they do."

If you look at that,

and you tear that apart

to where He was praying
for their forgiveness,

but it doesn't say Jesus forgave them -

if you want to try to
make that distinction,

I think you are trying to separate

what God never meant to be separated.

Let's look at that. Luke 23:33.

Have you learned Christ?

Here's the classroom.

Let us come and sit at His feet and learn.

The new man is a man who's learned Christ.

Let us learn.

Luke 23:33.

"When they came to the
place that is called the Skull,

there they crucified Him
and the criminals,

one on His right hand
and one on His left.

And Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them,

for they know not what they do.'"

Now, here's one thing we know for a fact.

They're crucifying Him -

no evidence that they've repented.

No evidence of that at all.

There's no reason to assume it.

Who is He speaking about?

Probably both Jews and Romans.

They're both killing Him.

(Incomplete thought)

Jesus specifically said to Pilate,

(the Jews) crime, their sin is greater,

but He wasn't saying therefore

you have no crime in this.

He's praying for them.

"Father, forgive them,

for they know not what they do."

I say this again.

We dare not try to explain this away

by saying that there's
no actual forgiveness

taking place in this text.

Or, that Jesus is only praying
for their forgiveness,

but since no repentance has taken place,

there's no forgiveness of any sort here.

Now look, I recognize they need to repent

if His Father is going to forgive them.

But I'm not talking about what God does,

I'm talking about the
heart of Christ in this.

That's the issue.

Answer me this.

What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness means -

you can look it up in your lexicons -

it means to let go.

That's good right?

Even if we're talking about a debt.

You let go.

We could use "cover."

That's good imagery as well.

It means to let go.

Jesus - notice - has He let go?

Is He bitter? Wrathful?

Angry? Clamorous? Slanderous?

All those things that Paul was describing?

Or has He let go?

Jesus unconditionally is showing them

kindness and tenderness here.

He's let go.

If this isn't forgiveness,

how else would you define it?

I mean, the attitude -

because that's what
Paul's concerned about.

It's the attitude.

It's the kind attitude.

It's the tender attitude.

It's the God-like attitude

of not holding our crimes against us

and forgiving us when we don't deserve it.

Is that not what's
flowing from Christ here?

Kindness and tenderness.

What did they deserve?

They're killing the Son of God!

One of the greatest crimes ever committed.

He's not holding on to it.

There's no grudge. There's no bitterness.

He's let go.

You can call that, you can define that

by whatever terminology you want,

but you need to learn of Christ.

Put the term on it you want,

but that's the spirit of the new man.

And you see it.

You see it projected right onto Stephen.

Acts 7:58 - just one last place

I want you to turn.

Acts 7:58.

Because here comes a disciple of Christ.

The martyr Stephen.

And we know -

we know that the Spirit
that was so pervasive

in the life of Christ

is shining forth from Stephen as well.

In Acts 7:58, "then they cast him

out of the city and stoned him."

You should probably think about stoning

before you just read over it too quickly.

In fact, probably if you
looked on YouTube,

I imagine with everything out there today

you can probably find pictures,

because there's enough women usually

who have been stoned in the Middle East.

"The witnesses laid down their garments

at the feet of a young man named Saul,

and as they were stoning Stephen,

he called out..."

You imagine - a rock hits you.

I mean, bang - concussion.
Bang - your teeth are out.

Bang - your rib is broken.

And what's happening?

He's not just covering up

and thinking about defending himself.

"'Lord Jesus, receive my spirit,'

falling to his knees, he cried out

with a loud voice,

'Lord, do not hold this
sin against them.'"

There's the spirit of it.

Stephen's prayers for
those who stoned him.

Another example. Example of what?

They're not repenting -
they're killing him.

Obviously there's no repentance.

But the issue is this,

unilateral - you know what that means?

That's the opposite of bilateral -

well, not the opposite,

because you could have trilateral.

But it's the idea of: all by yourself.

Unconditional.

You're not requiring anything of them.

You just unilaterally,
unconditionally let it go.

You're forgiving them.

The fact that Stephen
prayed for God's mercy

on his murderers shows

that he has already forgiven them.

Now it's true, God's forgiveness

is not going to be granted to them

apart from their repentance.

That is absolutely true.

But Stephen himself - what has he done?

He's already made a deliberate,

conscious choice to relinquish

his right to vengeance,

to retribution.

He's let it go.

He's forgiven them from his heart.

Again, if you don't
like the term forgiveness,

what in the world is forgiveness

if it's not that?

That's what we want in the church.

That's the kind of reaction
to people that we want.

If somebody had suffered such things

as Christ and Stephen have suffered

and they came into this church

and yet they were manifesting

tenderness and kindness

and a willingness to
let go like these men,

we wouldn't be scrambling for terms.

We would say, wow,
that's a forgiving person.

Why? Because that's the
way we use the term,

and that's what it means.

It means to let go of things like that.

Call this what you will.

You may argue that it doesn't say

Jesus forgave them.

It doesn't say Stephen forgave them

in either of these passages.

But I would just appeal to this,

what does it mean to forgive?

Because if it doesn't mean
what these guys are doing,

I have no clue what it means.

To me, that's... well, you say, to you?

That's your opinion.

This is what the term means.

It means to let go.

What's the point in all of this?

My point is this:

there's not a time -

whether people have repented or not -

there's not a time to hold
grudges or bitterness.

There's not a time that
we shouldn't let go.

Now, I recognize,

I recognize there's times

when to have reconciliation

and have the relationship restored,

we need repentance from the other person.

And I recognize there's times

to say to people in the church,

unless you repent, we're putting you out.

But you know what, even
when we have to do that,

we can let go.

Even when we have to do that,

love can be dictating - not selfishness;

not this self-bitterness.

This is the attitude.

Even when we have to discipline people,

we can manifest a disposition

like Stephen, like Christ.

"Father, forgive them."

I mean, we fear for them.

You know when we discipline
people out of the church,

I think where their path is going to lead

if they don't repent.

I say, Lord, please -

especially after coming under the truth

and experiencing the light -

their hell is going to be greater.

I fear for people.

You tremble for them.

But this is the heart.

This is the heart.

Kindness, tenderness, forgiving

as God in Christ forgave you.

The issue isn't the terms of repentance.

The issue is: you didn't deserve it,

and God forgave you

beyond your wildest dreams!

Hasn't He done things for you that are

so out there you can't hardly believe it?

Then, in the light of that

and that mindset,

let go.

Father, I pray, give us this spirit.

May it be pervasive here.

I ask this in the name of
our Lord Jesus Christ,

Amen.