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← Important to Walk in Purity Before Marriage? - Ask Pastor Tim

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Showing Revision 1 created 05/16/2018 by Carrie Spradlin.

  1. (from the room)

  2. I have a question.
  3. So, let's say you're single
  4. and that's been a struggle for you
  5. and suddenly the Lord's
    brought you out of it.
  6. Then, the Lord brings you a spouse.
  7. Before you get married,
  8. is that something you
    should be up front with
  9. and say that had been a struggle with you
  10. before going into the marriage
  11. so your wife can maybe
    be more understanding?
  12. Tim: Well, I think in the church,

  13. I would say this.
  14. I would say that if you're a father,
  15. you should be putting the question
  16. to any young man that wants
    to marry your daughter.
  17. If you are a young lady,
  18. if you're not going to
    put the question to them,
  19. you should have your pastors
    put the question to them
  20. or your dad put the question to them.
  21. Yes. Why?
  22. Because you have characteristics
  23. like the Proverbs 31 woman.
  24. You have characteristics of a godly woman.
  25. Guys, that's there on purpose.
  26. So that you can look at it
  27. and try to find a woman that's like that.
  28. Same thing.
  29. You have qualities of godly young men
  30. displayed to you ladies in Scripture.
  31. What kind of husband do you want?
  32. Do you want one that bears resemblance?
  33. Then you need to be getting
    to know one another.
  34. I recently heard Paul Washer do a message.
  35. He did a message based
    on 1 Thessalonians 4 -
  36. sanctification, specifically
    concerning sexual purity.
  37. And he made the statement that
  38. if you are failing with sexual purity,
  39. you're not even at the first rung
  40. of spiritual maturity.
  41. And so here's the thing,
  42. what I would want to see is
  43. is God doing something
  44. in the life of that young man
  45. where there is a marked victory?
  46. I'm not looking for perfection.
  47. Look, when God saves a young man -
  48. young women too -
  49. the battle for sexual purity,
  50. it can be savage.
  51. It can be incredibly intense battle
  52. with the desires of
    the flesh in that area.
  53. But what I'd be looking for is this:
  54. is there evidence that the Spirit of God
  55. is real in that guy's life
  56. and that there is some kind of progress,
  57. there is some kind of victory
  58. that they are getting to the place
  59. where they're going weeks and months
  60. and years without failure.
  61. Because if there are
    constant regular falls,
  62. I am absolutely convinced
  63. you cannot live that way -
  64. you can't live that way for too long
  65. and be a genuine Christian.
  66. But you cannot live that way
  67. and think that the Spirit is
    not going to be grieved.
  68. And it says something about
  69. where a man's character is at,
  70. and so I think those
    questions need to be asked.
  71. And what's happening more and more
  72. is I am asking young men very pointedly -
  73. like I want to know space between falls.
  74. I want to know the details
  75. because I want to see what God does
  76. in men's lives.
  77. And I think in this very area
  78. it's a tell-tale sign.
  79. And if somebody's just living
  80. in fairly perpetual failure,
  81. no way are they going to
    marry one of my daughters.
  82. And as a pastor in the church,
  83. I would tell a woman,
  84. if there is not some
    indication of victory here,
  85. stay away from him.
  86. You do not want to go there.
  87. (incomplete thought)
  88. Yes, I think there needs
    to be transparency
  89. at this point.
  90. Now look, I think too, if we're faithful
  91. (incomplete thought).
  92. I mean, just today,
  93. I was reading 1 Corinthians,
  94. and I got all the way to like chapter 10.
  95. So I read 1 Corinthians 7 today.
  96. And you know, there is a place -
  97. obviously, there is a place
  98. for somebody to get married
  99. for the sake of sexual temptation.
  100. I mean, I would say this,
  101. as a young man,
  102. you need to strive for purity.
  103. If the battle is intense, get married.
  104. But look, if you're a Christian,
  105. by the Spirit, strive to put to death
  106. the deeds of the body
  107. and get married.
  108. That seems to be very biblical.
  109. Rather, it's better to marry than to burn.
  110. And I think finding a
    wife is a good thing,
  111. but you need to be
    the caliber of young man
  112. that a godly young lady is
    going to want to marry,
  113. because if your life is sloppy
    and full of failure and defeat,
  114. you shouldn't expect that you're ready
  115. to get married.
  116. You shouldn't.
  117. That is not putting too high a standard
  118. to expect that you're striving
  119. to walk before the Lord
  120. and that there is evidence of victory
  121. in the life.