A Young Man's War Against God in a Perverted World

My name is Daniel.

I'm 18 years old.

And almost a year ago, God saved me.

I stand here.

I want to proclaim the Gospel

in my own testimony

and just how God did that work in me

that you too may come to faith in Him.

Most of all I want to tell you

that there's no level of sin

and there's no amount of wickedness

that keeps a man from God,

but it's his own pride not to come.

And for a long time,

I was prideful enough to
keep my sin in the dark.

My dark deeds were
not exposed to the light

because they would expose
them for what they are.

And if that was true,

God would have judged me.

They were true

and He would have judged me.

But you need to know that now

I serve a living Savior.

He's alive in me.

And He's done a work.

Please hear this testimony
I have to tell you

that you may come to saving faith.

God shows His love for us

in that while we were still sinners,

Christ died for us.

On April 23rd, 1991,

I began my war with God.

That's the day I was born.

At age 5 or 6,

though God created me to mature

and to be holy and pure before Him,

at age 5 or 6, Satan said

your sexuality begins.

And I said, yeah, you're right.

And through elementary

and throughout middle school,

Satan said this perversion continues,

and I agreed with him.

And high school came and I stopped.

I stopped living my secret sexual lusts -

these actions that no one knew about

except God.

And the only reason it ended

was the fear of man

because I didn't want to stop doing it.

I loved it.

I loved what killed my conscience.

And if it could have been seen,

it would have been a scarred,

brutally beaten body - almost to death.

That's what my conscience was like then.

And the only reason I stopped

was because I was growing up

and I knew what people would think

if I continued this way
and they found out

how I felt about people of my own gender

and even my own flesh and blood

and the things I did in the dark.

The things that God's
law says are perverse.

He absolutely hates.

No, I truly didn't stop doing it

because it was an abomination to God.

I truly stopped because...

I cared more about what people thought

than anything in the world -

even more than my lusts.

That's how much I cared

what people thought about me.

Not because I hated sin.

I loved sin.

But in the midst of this -

me growing up this way -

I began to isolate myself.

Fear and shame became my outer shell.

And I began to collect
in the midst of all of it

all types of materialistic idolatries,

but never truly worshiping

or considering the God who created me.

And for that I am ashamed.

I am so ashamed.

With everyone applauding my good grades,

I began the greatest abomination of all.

In the midst of what I knew I was

and had done and was
still doing in my mind,

though I physically stopped it,

I actually thought I was better

than most everyone else.

And I looked to people's approval

of my behavior externally

and my own conduct in school.

I began to think of myself as good.

But if I had faced God in those days,

He would have ended my life.

And if He would have brought
me right before Him,

the angels would have been
the ones applauding.

They would have been applauding

my damnation.

Then my teenage "churchianity"

only multiplied what I can imagine

God felt toward me - fierce wrath

and wanting to pour out vengeance.

Because I treated myself then

at that point in my life as redeemed.

And it was under a false Gospel.

But God being the merciful
Savior that He was

and He still is

just showed me

the consuming fire that He is,

and in that blinding light

He brought me face-to-face with Christ

almost a year ago from today.

And I felt like I could not escape then.

And I felt outside of Him

enough to proclaim to those

giving me the Gospel

that I had been hearing a false Gospel.

I was able to admit it.

Only in God's mercy was He allowing me

to see that and believe that.

The living Christ in these
pages of His Word -

they came alive to me that night.

And realizing God, I fled
to the living Christ.

I fled to Him - that Savior.

That Mighty One.

He gave up His life

and bled on that tree.

I was able to live and see

the way Christ lived

and the way He saw God.

I was able to live like Him.

I was able to live like Christ.

I was able to see the Father

the way God the Son saw God the Father.

And now, to some of you,

I will see in that final day

doing the very things,

having done those very
same things that I did,

hearing this truth -

even doing worse things than I did,

being poured into the lake of fire.

That was what I deserve.

But God responded to my hate

with His own love and His Son

in that while I was a sinner,

He died for me.

And many of you it is my prayer

will stand with me as brethren on that day

having done what I did,

having lived what I lived,

and rejoicing as He pours out His love -

His undeserved love -

and it is of light.

And it is a consuming fire.

A burning love and bright love

that fills those heavens

so that there is no sun,

there is no moon.

There's just Him.

And all that thirst will come to Him

because He has given them life.

And all my false relationships

and all my lusts

and all my perverted sexuality

and all of my pride and self-righteousness

in the midst of those lies -

He abundantly pardons

and gives me a true relationship

and a true love

and a true romance

that is Christ with His bride

for all eternity.

And amen.

You alone are my heart's desire

and I long to worship You.

You alone are the true joy giver

and Lord, I want to yearn for You.

You alone are my strength, my shield.

To You alone does my spirit yield.

You alone are my heart's desire

and I long to worship You.

Amen.

Everything that I would have owed God

and never would have finished paying for,

God justified me.

God is love.

But for some,

they will be as metals cast into a furnace

melting under the pressing
heat of His anger.

Come to Him.

He will justify you.

Believe in Him

that you may be saved.

Romans 1:21-32

For although they knew God,
they did not honor him as God

or give thanks to him, but they
became futile in their thinking,

and their foolish hearts were darkened.

Claiming to be wise, they became fools,

and exchanged the glory
of the immortal God for images

resembling mortal man and birds
and animals and creeping things.

Therefore God gave them up in the
lusts of their hearts to impurity,

to the dishonoring of their
bodies among themselves,

because they exchanged
the truth about God for a lie

and worshiped and served the
creature rather than the Creator

who is blessed forever! Amen.

For this reason God gave them
up to dishonorable passions.

For their women exchanged
natural relations

for those that are contrary to nature;

and the men likewise gave
up natural relations with women

and were consumed with
passion for one another,

men committing shameless acts with men

and receiving in themselves
the due penalty for their error.

And since they did not
see fit to acknowledge God,

God gave them up to a debased mind
to do what ought not to be done.

They were filled with all manner of
unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice.

They are full of envy, murder,
strife, deceit, maliciousness.

They are gossips, slanderers, haters
of God, insolent, haughty, boastful,

inventors of evil, disobedient to parents,
foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless.

Though they know God's righteous decree

that those who practice
such things deserve to die,

they not only do them but give
approval to those who practice them.

1 Corinthians 6:9
Or do you not know that the unrighteous

will not inherit the kingdom of God?

Do not be deceived: neither the
sexually immoral, nor idolaters,

nor adulterers, nor men
who practice homosexuality...

2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone
is in Christ, he is a new creation.

The old has passed away;
behold, the new has come."