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← How To Meet Your Unmet Needs - Teal Swan -

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Showing Revision 13 created 03/31/2019 by Tanya Duarte.

  1. I've said it before and
    I'm gonna say it again,
  2. Everyone on this earth has needs.
  3. It doesn't matter whether you
    want to have needs or not,
  4. you have them.
  5. A need is something that
    is required in order to live,
  6. succeed or be happy.
  7. And here's the thing about needs:
  8. you can't unneed them.
  9. You can't decide that something
    you need is not required.
  10. You can't talk yourself out of it.
  11. Your one option, when it
    comes to having a need,
  12. is to meet it.
  13. How to Meet an Unmet Need
  14. But this is easier said than done.
  15. Why is it easier said than done?
  16. Because we so often
    have aspects of us
  17. that are standing in a way
    of having the need met.
  18. This is not natural.
  19. You are born understanding
    that your need will be met
  20. and that it will be easy.
  21. A baby is not born panicking
    that it will not get milk,
  22. or worrying about having
    its diaper change.
  23. To a baby, being cuddled is
    not an impossible dream.
  24. We learn through our trauma
    in our life experience,
  25. that our need will not be met,
  26. and worse than that,
    that our needs are not OK.
  27. A common pattern that we have
  28. is we go to the places where
    our needs can't be met,
  29. in order to get our needs met.
  30. It's a little bit like going
    to an auto-repair shop
  31. when you wanna shop for food.
  32. Or it's the person who wants desperately
  33. to have a loving connective partnership
  34. and yet directly opts for partners
  35. who are unavailable,
    who are avoidant in nature.
  36. The primary need in all beings
  37. is the need for love.
  38. But what's standing in the way
  39. of us being able to get this need met?
  40. Oftentimes, it's thoughts like:
  41. "Love is not actually ever
    going to come to me."
  42. It's thoughts like:
  43. "Love is dangerous."
  44. If, in our life experience,
  45. we experience love in a
    context of ulterior motives,
  46. we develop a belief,
  47. that's embedded in our bodies,
  48. that says, that love cannot
    ever happen without a catch.
  49. Because of these types of barriers to love,
  50. we do not allow in the very thing
    we need and want so desperately.
  51. From this state, so often,
  52. we are the person who's
    starving for food,
  53. in a grocery store, convinced
    there's nothing to eat.
  54. The people in our
    life can see that
  55. they are giving us the very
    thing we need and want,
  56. but we can't take it in.
  57. We have to become
    aware of what we need.
  58. To do this, we have to
    be able to recognize,
  59. the feeling of dissatisfaction,
  60. craving, wanting, emptiness, desperation.
  61. For this very reason,
  62. if you're having a difficult time feeling,
  63. you obviously won't be able to feel
  64. when you feel those feelings.
  65. So the first step is to watch
    my video on YouTube titled:
  66. How to Feel
  67. Once you watch that video,
  68. and you start practicing how to feel,
  69. and you start to notice those sensations
  70. of craving, of wanting,
    of emptiness, of lack,
  71. you look to the opposite side of that
  72. for what it is that you're lacking,
  73. what it is that you're craving,
  74. what it is that you're wanting.
  75. Some of our needs are
    quite simple to meet.
  76. For most of us in the Western world,
  77. we don't fly into a frenzy
    when we feel hunger.
  78. Why? Because we know
    it's just as simple
  79. as going to a grocery store,
    or going to our own fridge.
  80. However, if you're raised
    in a Third World country,
  81. where it was difficult to find food,
  82. you can bet, that when you feel
    that feeling of craving for food,
  83. it comes with a lot of resistance.
  84. Resistance because you don't believe
  85. that need will actually be met.
  86. Now, this is in the Western World,
  87. much different, when it
    comes to emotional needs.
  88. We live in a day and age
  89. where most of our emotional
    needs simply are not met.
  90. And so, when we feel
    an emotional need,
  91. we have the same reaction
  92. as somebody who would
    be starving for food.
  93. We are completely convinced
  94. that there's no way to
    get that need met.
  95. So we start to panic,
  96. we start to go into lack,
  97. we start to feel as if there is no way
  98. that we're going to be able to satisfy
  99. those negative feelings within us.
  100. We are not going to be able to go
    in the direction of what we need.
  101. We don't even know how.
  102. I want you to understand that trauma,
  103. at its fundamental level,
  104. is the experience of
    lacking something
  105. that we need and want.
  106. Particularly when it applies
    to emotional needs.
  107. So, once you have identified
    what your unmet need is,
  108. that need you feel
    is difficult to fulfill,
  109. I want you to ask yourself
    the following question:
  110. "What would I have to
    give up in order to have ...?"
  111. fill in the blank with what you need.
  112. For example, for me
    to be able to feel love
  113. when I'm sitting in the
    room with someone,
  114. I would have to give up my
    belief that love is dangerous.
  115. I would have to give up
    my constant thinking,
  116. because my mind brings
    me out of my body,
  117. so I can't feel connection to people
    as real people in the room.
  118. I would have to give up the story
    that I always lose what I love.
  119. I would have to give up
    sending text messages
  120. to that person who
    never sends any back.
  121. Keep in mind that, anywhere
    we have an identification,
  122. anywhere our identity is
    wrapped up in a state
  123. of being, or behaviour, or thought
  124. that causes one of our
    needs to not be met,
  125. we will have to come up against
  126. and let go of, our
    own sense of identity,
  127. which feels like a life
    and death choice,
  128. in order to meet that need.
  129. For example,
  130. let's say that you are
    the family scapegoat.
  131. If you are a family scapegoat,
  132. you grew up developing an identity
  133. that you are bad and wrong.
  134. You didn't want to be that way,
  135. but the ego (the ID),
  136. became attached to the concept
    of being bad and wrong.
  137. So let's say that you want love,
  138. love is a direct contradiction to shame,
  139. which is feeling like something
    about you is bad and wrong.
  140. So, when you go to get love,
  141. instantly your very ego is going
    to fight against that love,
  142. because it will perceive that
    love as a death of itself.
  143. The mental understanding of
    what you have to give up
  144. in order to get needs met
    and actions you can take,
  145. is absolutely no comparison,
  146. to the actual physical experience,
  147. of being able to feel
    that need being met.
  148. And you can actually do this.
  149. I'm gonna teach you how.
  150. For example,
  151. let's say that you want connection.
  152. Obviously, my best bet of
    getting this need met,
  153. is to find someone who
    also wants connection.
  154. So let's say I find that person,
  155. I sit down across them in a room.
  156. What I do is I focus all of my attention
  157. on them and only them.
  158. I feel myself open up to them
    on an energetic level.
  159. I may open up even verbally
    by talking to them,
  160. (If talking doesn't take
    me out of connection).
  161. And what I do is I watch the
    resistance that I have to that.
  162. I watch how my mind
    wants to take me away.
  163. I watch the thoughts
    that come in like:
  164. "This is not OK,
  165. the only reason that this
    person is here right now,
  166. is because of...
    some ulterior motive."
  167. You want to watch the
    ways that your own being
  168. resists the very thing you want.
  169. Stay with that resistance long enough
  170. that the resistance
    itself begins to settle,
  171. and you start to feel yourself go
    into more of a vulnerable state.
  172. Once you notice where in your
    body you can't feel connection,
  173. switch your focus to where in
    your body you can feel connection.
  174. Pay attention to your heart.
  175. Can you feel it there?
  176. If not, can you feel in your skin?
  177. If not, is there a part of your
    body like even your knee,
  178. where you can actually
    feel that connection?
  179. From there,
  180. you wanna bring that
    sensation of the connection,
  181. as far and deep into your body
    and through your whole body,
  182. as you possibly can.
  183. Or let's say that what
    you want is abundance.
  184. Go to a place that's super fancy,
  185. something that symbolizes
    wealth, for you.
  186. Sit there and try to feel like a king,
  187. try to feel like you own it,
  188. try to feel that sensation that
    you have so much money
  189. that you literally can't find
    enough stuff to spend it on.
  190. When you do this, I want you to watch
  191. the resistance that comes
    up in your body.
  192. What kind of thoughts
    are trying to tell you:
  193. "That this is not the case."
  194. "This is not what you deserve."
    "This is not the reality."
  195. Anything that is getting in the way
    of you actually having access
  196. to that feeling within your body.
  197. Stay with that as long as you can,
  198. until those thoughts and that
    resistance starts to settle.
  199. And you feel yourself sort of opening
    towards that feeling of abundance.
  200. Once you notice where in your body
  201. you can't feel abundance,
  202. switch your focus to where
    you can feel abundance.
  203. So maybe you can't
    feel it in your chest,
  204. maybe it's closed off to
    that sensation of having
  205. lots and lots and lots of money.
  206. But maybe in your arms,
    you do actually feel
  207. that feeling of expansion,
    that feeling of abundance,
  208. that feeling of wealth.
  209. Put all your focus there,
  210. and spread that through
    your entire body if you can.
  211. I did a video a while back
    called: "Feeling Signatures".
  212. If you haven't watched that video,
    I highly suggest you watch it.
  213. Or even if you have,
    go watch it again.
  214. Because I explained how people
    can use feeling signatures
  215. to make themselves feel better.
  216. But as it applies to meeting
    the unmet needs,
  217. it is so valuable.
  218. So for example, let's say that
    what I want is belonging.
  219. But I haven't really had a
    direct access with belonging.
  220. And so how do I know
    what that feels like?
  221. What I do, is I look for some
    experience I've had in the past,
  222. that was the closest
  223. to what I think belonging
    might have felt like.
  224. So let's say, for me,
  225. the closest I got to belonging
  226. was this memory I have of
    roasting marshmallows
  227. over a campfire.
  228. What I do is I take my
    attention and I place it
  229. fully and totally
    (like in a meditation),
  230. on that memory,
    on that experience,
  231. on the feeling of marshmallows.
  232. When I feel that in my body,
  233. I spread that sensation
  234. through every cell,
    into my bone marrow
  235. around every single organ.
  236. I use that sensation as a
    resource for belonging.
  237. The reality of this universe
  238. is that it's governed by
    the Law of Attraction.
  239. Things of like frequency
    match and coalesce.
  240. This is the real reason that
    people who are born wealthy
  241. have no problem creating wealth.
  242. They do not often have
    many thoughts or actions,
  243. or life experiences that contradict
    the frequency of wealth.
  244. In the absence of the contradiction
  245. nothing is preventing them
    from manifesting that need
  246. immediately.
  247. When you release resistance
  248. to the things that are preventing
    you from having what you need,
  249. when you give up what you have to
    give up, in order to get a need met,
  250. you can allow yourself to feel the
    opposite vibration of that lack.
  251. When you feel the opposite
    thing, the thing you need,
  252. and even more than that,
  253. when you recognize that
    you are feeling it,
  254. so it becomes real to your embodiment,
  255. the need is being met.
  256. Now, in a Law of
    Attraction-based universe,
  257. when that need starts getting
    met on that very deep,
  258. visceral, emotional and embodied level,
  259. the Law of Attraction must respond to it.
  260. It responds by bringing
    this need to you
  261. in ever increasing ways.
  262. It lines you up with the people
  263. who can meet those needs.
  264. It lines you up with ways
  265. that you can meet
    your own needs.
  266. It makes you coalesce
  267. with the circumstances,
    to bring about the goals,
  268. that you want to achieve.
  269. It's almost like the Universe
    lays the path out
  270. for you to get those needs met.
  271. And it's no longer a question,
  272. because the "how" is done for you.
  273. Once you start this practise
  274. of meeting your unmet needs,
  275. especially those that you
    feel are out of your reach,
  276. there will no longer be
    a lack within your being.
  277. You will be restored to
    a state of wholeness.
  278. Have a good week.
  279. Subtitles by: Krzysztof Piotrowski
    & Tanya Duarte