Think It Through First Before Responding - Kevin Williams

If you open your Bibles with me

to Romans 12:17.

Romans 12:17

If you've ever responded in haste;

maybe said something

or sent an email or a text;

or perhaps posted
something on social media

that you later regretted,

this sermon has application.

These verses come in a section of Romans

that deals with Christian living

on how we are to react

towards people.

And here when people
treat us in a certain way,

how we are to react towards them.

So, do you remain seated? Stand?

Okay, I'll read Romans 12:17-18

and then we'll pray.

"Repay no one evil for evil,

but give thought to do what is honorable

in the sight of all.

If possible, so far as it depends on you,

live peaceably with all."

I'll read that again.

"Repay no one evil for evil,

but give thought to do what is honorable

in the sight of all.

If possible, so far as it depends on you,

live peaceably with all."

Let's pray.

Our Father, as we look together

at Your Word now,

we pray that You would teach us

by Your Spirit how to live lives holy,

lives set apart for You;

to live for Your glory,

for Your name's sake.

Help us, we ask, in Jesus' name,

Amen.

Okay, so if someone
mistreats you as a Christian,

or even goes out of their way

to harm you,

what is your reaction supposed to be?

How are we as Christians

called to react when someone

does something evil towards you?

And that is what these
verses deal with now.

The first principle the apostle lays out

in regards to this here
in v. 17 of our text,

is repay no one evil for evil.

In other words, don't just retaliate

and strike back in whatever way.

You see, the reason Paul, no doubt,

begins with this what
is a guiding principle,

is because the natural instinct

when someone treats you

in what you perceive to be an evil way;

the natural instinct is
to want to strike back

and get even.

How dare they treat me in such a way!

Now, I want to show you how this is linked

to the previous verse there.

At the end of the previous verse (v. 16),

we are told, "Never be
wise in your own sight."

Or never be wise in your
own estimation of yourself.

That is basically another way of saying,

"Do not think more highly of yourself

than you ought to."

Think about this.

When someone has an overinflated opinion

of themselves,

they are always going
to be easily offended

at the slightest thing

and ready to lash out.

The instinctive reaction
is always going to be,

"How dare they treat me that way!"

And instinctively lash out with vengeance.

James 3 from verse 13 puts it this way:

"Who is wise and understanding among you?

By his good conduct,
let him show his works

in meekness and wisdom.

But if you have bitter jealousy

and selfish ambition in your hearts,

do not boast and be false to the truth.

This is not the wisdom that
comes down from above,

but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.

For where jealousy and
selfish ambition exist,

there will be disorder
and every vile practice.

But the wisdom from above is first pure,

then peaceable, gentle, open to reason,

full of mercy and good fruits,

impartial, and sincere.

And a harvest of righteousness

is sown in peace by those who make peace."

You see, in order to react right,

we've got to get our thinking right.

If our wisdom, if our thinking

is clouded by bitterness and jealousy

or selfish ambition -

there's nothing wrong, by the way,

with ambition in and of itself.

Someone can be ambitious

for the glory of God.

But selfish ambition is the problem.

But when you are ambitious

in whatever way for the glory of self,

well, when all these things

are clouding your mind,

you're not going to
react in the right way.

So, one of the guiding principles

that the apostle began
with, of course, in chapter 12

is do not be conformed to the mindset

of this fallen world.

So we really have it again here.

You see, if our thinking is wrong,

we're going to react wrong.

If one has an overinflated
opinion of oneself,

then that person is going
to be easily offended

and see everything as a personal attack.

And if someone treats you

in what you perceive to be an evil way,

your instinct is going to be instinctively

to lash out in whatever
way to get revenge.

Well, the Christian is
not to be in that way

Paul states there.

Think of this in another way.

Imagine if the Lord treated us that way.

Imagine if His response

after we treated Him evil
was just to lash out.

None of us would be here.

We'd all be in hell.

So, that's the negative part here.

What not to do.

But then, in the next part of the verse,

Paul tells us what to do instead.

He says, "But give thought

to what is honorable

in the sight of all men."

You see, this is what we are to do.

"Give thought to what is honorable

in the sight of all men."

The ESV translates this quite beatifully.

In case anyone is reading from

the old King James,

I must point out that that translation

renders this verse:

"Provide things honest
in the sight of all men."

Which is okay if you're
living in the 17th century,

and you're one of the people

that translation was intended for,

but it makes absolutely no sense

in the way we would use
the word "provide" today.

You see, back in the 17th century,

the word "provide" actually meant

to take thought beforehand.

To think ahead.

Hence, why the ESV translates this,

"But give thought to do..."

You see, the idea here

is when someone treats you

in what you perceive to
be in a bad or evil way,

don't respond by instantly lashing out

in revenge, but take thought.

Think it through is the idea.

And when it says in the next part

that you are to give thought to do

what is honorable in the sight of all,

again, the ESV really
gets the idea, I think.

The idea is to respond in a way

that is good that can be seen by all.

That others can see it is good.

It's the same words used
in 2 Corinthians 8:21.

Paul says, "For we aim (in our conduct)

at what is honorable,

not only in the Lord's sight,

but also in the sight of men."

That is, we aim to be blameless if we can;

to act in a just and right manner.

Not just before the Lord,

although that is the primary,

but hopefully we can also

react and conduct ourselves in a way

that is right in the sight of men.

Of course, our first duty is to the Lord.

And that must not be
compromised for the other.

But notice it says here

"in the sight of all men."

That is believers and unbelievers alike.

You see, in our actions,

in the way we respond,

we are to be concerned
about what others think.

In the sight of all men it says.

Do good in the sight of all men.

We are to be conscious in how we react

that the lost world is looking on at us.

You see, the teaching of this verse is

when someone does what you perceive to be

an evil towards you,

you are not to respond without
thinking it through properly,

by instantly lashing out.

But you are to take thought.

How is the lost world going to perceive

how I respond to this?

You ought to pause. Think.

If I respond in this or that certain way,

what will they think of Christ

and Christianity.

Remember this verse is in the context here

of thinking of the church as a body.

And so, we must ask
ourselves as Christians,

if I react in a certain way,

what will people think of the church

I am part of?

You see, it's the Lord's name

we are to be concerned with.

If I respond in this way or that way,

what effect is it going to have on others?

You see, this really is another section

about living the gospel.

The unbelievers - the
lost world around you

will judge the gospel and Christianity

by what they see in us.

So we must think it through.

How is my response going to affect

the perception of Christ and Christianity?

You see, you're a Christian now,

and so no man lives unto himself.

You've got to realize that what you do

doesn't just affect you alone.

No man lives unto himself.

But what you do and say

is going to affect what
others think of Christ

and Christianity.

In how you behave and your conduct,

in how you react to a
perceived evil against you.

And never think in terms of yourself only.

But you must think first

of what effect will my response

have on others.

You see, this is what must dictate

or govern our response.

Think it though.

What response would
give God the most glory?

Think about all the times, brethren,

you know, you've been hasty.

How many times have you and I

perceived an evil by someone against us?

And so you've said something

without properly thinking it through

and then regretted it.

How many times have people sent a text,

an email, or replied to a post

on social media?

Something on Facebook or whatever.

And later thought,

"If only I had just waited..."

We live in a minefield today

with all the technology.

You know, there have
been times in the past

when someone has sent me a rather angry

or provocative message on WhatsApp.

And of course, WhatsApp,

when you send someone a message,

it gives you the two blue tics to say

they've read the message.

But then, you find there are people

who want to bring back public hanging.

And of course, the death
penalty's still here,

but they want it to apply for that

because I've not responded in 30 seconds.

When in actual fact, what I'm doing

is I'm doing what this verse tells me.

I'm thinking about what is the best way

to respond to their anger.

Or, I might be doing something else

and it's come up, so I've got to give

my attention to that.

You know the world doesn't
revolve around people.

You see, I use that by way of example

because many times,

you will feel under pressure

to respond rashly.

But you don't want to do that.

Make sure you pause.

Think it through.

Time out.

You see, rather than very quickly respond

in a way without properly
thinking it through,

you must think,

what is likely to be the final effect

if I respond like this?

Is it better to sit on your fingers

and save the text or the email

or the call for another day?

In which time you might have

a completely different
perspective on things.

By then, you might see,

well, I've overreacted.

Or, more things have come to light.

Or, you might be thinking later,

what good is this going to do anyway?

I remember once, I had a school teacher.

He used to say,

"Engage brain before mouth."

And that's good advice.

Properly thinking it through.

You know, sometimes you meet people

that say, "I always speak my mind."

And they're proud of the fact

that they say the first thing

that comes into their head,

no matter how rude

without thinking it through.

Without thinking about what effect

it will have on others.

But according to this verse,

a Christian should never
have that attitude;

should never be one of those people

who says, "I just always speak my mind,"

and say the first thing that comes out.

Never try and excuse things like that

by saying I'm of a certain nationality

or a certain family or whatever;

a certain background.

Never try to excuse sin

by some sort of cultural context.

When Paul said to the Cretans,

those of Crete are always liars,

he wasn't saying it's okay for you to lie

because you're from Crete.

Just like if someone is from -

this is the way it is where we live -

if someone is from Africa or Spain

or Latin America, it doesn't mean

it's okay for them to be late.

Or if someone comes from the Middle East,

it's not okay to have a bad temper.

Believe it or not, there
are professing Christians there

who just lash out in anger

and then they try and excuse it by saying,

"Oh, it's just a cultural thing."

You see, cultural sin is sin.

That is the way Paul is speaking

to those in Crete.

He says, "Or is the saying true?"

You're different. You're Christians now.

And so, you're not to be that stereotype.

A Christian should never be those people

who say, "I just speak
my mind all the time

without thinking it through."

And so, verse 18 continues with this.

"If possible, so far as it depends on you,

live peaceably with all."

Live at peace with all.

That is, believers and unbelievers alike.

As far as it depends on you.

Notice, as far is it depends on you,

you are to take the initiative.

The Christian is not to
be the troublemaker.

There's much in Proverbs about that.

The contentious, argumentative,

always picking a fight type of person

is not a characteristic of a Christian.

There's a lot of Christian
bloggers out there

and so-called discernment ministries

that act in a way where
they're always ready

figuratively to punch someone in the face.

But again, that's not
characteristically Christian.

But I want you to think about this.

In reacting in a way
that is not going to be

a bad witness,

and as far as it depends upon you,

thinking about it in terms of

you taking the initiative to be at peace.

First of all, remember,

you're not trying to win the argument,

but the person.

Well, you are trying to win the argument,

but it's the person first and foremost.

You see, if you just get someone's back up

unnecessarily, then you've lost them.

You may have won an argument,

but they may go home thinking

they won the argument too anyway.

But secondly, think of this in terms of

online disagreements with others.

Much of the world lives
in that sphere today.

I remember one time another Christian

was arguing with me over

some secondary issue that was evidently

a first issue to him.

But we eventually agreed to disagree.

Now, he was doing this via Facebook,

so at the end of it, I thanked him

for doing it on the private messenger.

So only I and he could see.

Because if it had been plastered all over

my Facebook wall in public -

in view of others -

then all the unbelievers,
the non-Christians looking on

would not have understood it.

It would have been a really bad witness.

So even though I disagreed with him,

and I thought his manner was a bit harsh,

I thanked him for
still doing it in private.

Whereas I remember another person

just plastering my Facebook wall,

and every time I would delete his dribble

because I'm thinking
this doesn't look good

in front of all the unbelievers
I'm trying to reach here.

He'd just post some more.

So, in the end, I had to defriend him

and take him off.

You see, he obviously thought

that all the world had to agree with him

over some secondary issue.

Because he wasn't thinking

how is this going to be perceived

by unbelievers?

What sort of testimony
is this going to give?

He wasn't thinking of the glory of God

and those people's souls.

All that was before him

was personal pride in winning an argument.

And he didn't want to be seen to lose.

Because he didn't want my friends

or my wife's friends who
he didn't even know -

it's ridiculous.

If you ever have a
disagreement with someone

in a church meeting,

perhaps over some
theological issue or whatever,

don't lash out.

Think it through.

What are onlookers going to think of this?

You know you've always got weaker

and newer, less mature Christians.

Some people who are

walking through the door the first time

and see some odd discussion

that could be a bad testimony.

It's very serious stuff.

Supposing you have a disagreement

with someone else, and so you have

this big squabble, whether it's online

or in a church setting,

or in a house setting or at work

or wherever, but it's in a public setting,

and people know you're a Christian.

And so the result of it,

people are turned off to the gospel

and Christianity.

And so part of the reason
they end up in hell

is because of your conduct.

Not to mention then going around

blaspheming the Lord's name.

Saying those Christians
are just like that.

You see, as Christians, we don't want

to bring shame upon the name of Christ.

That should be our concern.

But we've got to realize,

you cannot do things in isolation

as a Christian.

You are to, as our Lord said,

let your light so shine before men

that they may see your good works

and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

Think of this in every
aspect of your life.

That people are watching you.

People are looking on.

Now, of course, let me make clear here,

you may still do everything right,

and you're still going to
get some false accusations.

The Apostle Paul did. Our Lord Jesus did.

You think of Joseph in the Old Testament.

He was a classic example

of someone living out this verse.

And yet, he was still thrown in prison

for something he didn't do.

But he's also an example
of how to respond.

Now, the next thing I want
to point out here though

is Paul does not say

be at peace with people at any cost.

He doesn't say be at peace
with people at any cost,

but as far as it depends upon you.

Remember, the wisdom from above

is first pure, then peaceable.

It's pure, meaning truth first.

You see, you're not to
be the trouble maker.

You're not to be the one
who initiates the fight.

You are to try and be the
peacemaker if you like

in your actions,

but there are some people who

will go out of their way

to be difficult.

And there are some people
you cannot make peace with.

With those people you can sleep at night

knowing that as far as
it depended upon you,

they could have had peace.

But again, this peace is not at any cost.

We are told in Scripture for instance

that if anyone comes to you

preaching another gospel,

let him be accursed.

It doesn't say just agree with them

for the sake of peace.

In 2 John, we're told if anyone comes

bringing another doctrine
of the person of Jesus,

saying something like He's not fully God

or He's not fully man,

then don't even give him a greeting.

He's not talking about your neighbor

that you're trying to witness to,

but someone teaching.

There is such a thing

as church discipline in Scripture

for those who profess to be Christians,

but continue in unrepentant sin.

We are told to avoid the divisive person

after one or two warnings.

And we are to earnestly
contend for the faith.

Not put it aside for the sake of peace.

You know, in regards to a pastor

teaching from the pulpit,

and other Christians in a general sense,

of course, we should be sensitive,

but there should never be a case,

for instance, where a pastor thinks

I can't preach this certain truth

because so-and-so will be offended

and leave the church.

You know, I once had someone come to me

very disgruntled over
the doctrine of Calvinism

and the sovereignty of God,

and was showing their
anger and disgust over it.

The next time they came into our meeting,

and it came up in that sermon -

it was just in the text -

but he actually got up and walked out

in the middle of the sermon.

But you see, we're not to skip over

parts of the Bible in order to pacify

those types of people.

We're not to think I can't preach this

because so-and-so might leave the church.

I'm just the messenger.

It's not my message to tamper with.

In fact, it's a very
serious thing to do so.

You see, what I'm saying in these examples

is in making peace,

we should never do it in a way

which would deny Christ

and our Christian faith.

Our Lord Jesus said,

"If you deny Me before men,

then I will deny you before My Father

who is in heaven."

So this verse is not saying

in order to have peace and an easy life,

deny your faith in Christ.

Pretend you're not a Christian at times.

You know, many people
have gone to their deaths

because they were not willing to deny

they were Christians.

You see, there are some people

who will not have peace with you

because you are a Christian.

Like in the previous verses here,

he's not teaching if people persecute you,

then pretend you're not a Christian.

You are to be faithful
in your Christian faith.

But as far as it depends upon you,

be at peace with all people.

A Christian wife married to an unbeliever,

can and should go out of her way,

as far as it depends upon her

to be at peace with her husband.

But she cannot deny Christ in that.

And the same goes in the workplace.

Or anywhere else in life.

When you're around unbelievers,

you are to go out of
your way to live at peace,

but you don't deny Christ.

But as far as it depends upon you,

live at peace.

And we are not to sin

in order to have peace with people.

We are to have no fellowship

with the unfruitful works of darkness.

Lloyd-Jones pointed out something

regarding this which was excellent.

And that is there are some people

who have a tendency

to always want to retaliate

and strike back, and of course,

I've just given application for that.

But then of course, there are people

at the other end of the spectrum;

there are other people
who will do anything

for a peaceful life

and just give in to bullies

and let people walk all over them.

Well, that's not Christian either,

he points out.

And that is not what
this is talking about.

That sort of thing is just being lethargic

and cowardly,

or trying to avoid confrontations.

You see, this is not being scared

and so being willing to do anything

for a peaceful life.

Let me point out here,

in all this, there are sometimes

where you have to respond quickly.

It may be in defending someone.

He's not saying stop,
pause, think about it,

and the person's dead on
the floor or whatever.

Obviously, they're both in the context

of the examples I've given

when you can respond rationally

and there was time to think it through.

But you see, not acting in haste

and doing something
you regret is the idea.

But thinking it through.

What is the best response

that's going to glorify God?

What is going to be the best testimony?

What's going to be the best

to win these people to Christ?

And you see, ultimately,

these verses were the related theme

that keeps coming up in Romans 12

or a repeated word,
I should say, is "love."

You see this again and again.

Love is to dictate how we respond.

Love to God first and love to fellow man.

As Charles Leiter rightly points out,

with instruction like this

in the Sermon on the Mount also,

these instructions are not to be taken

as a to-the-letter law.

(Incomplete thought)

What I mean is you're not meant to

take these words like "rule #15."

This is how I should respond exactly

and tic that box

when it could be the wrong response.

But we're given principles here.

And the overriding principle is love.

How can I best show love to God

and love to fellow man

in how we respond?

You see, these verses,

they don't forbid going to

a civil magistrate when
you've been wronged.

Paul deals with that in the next chapter.

Even the Old Testament law

gave principles for civil magistrates.

So there's nothing wrong

with calling the police
or whatever authority.

But don't lash out.

First, pause and think.

What is the best way I can respond

that can give glory to God?

What is going to be the best witness?

Think first. Pray about it.

Don't take things personally.

It may be letting things go

is the best response that time.

It may be doing some charitable deed

is the best response.

It may be calling the police

and getting them arrested.

I remember last time I
was in the U.S. up north.

Well, it was in the middle.

Kind of everything's north of Texas.

But there was a member of the church there

who prior to making a profession in Christ

had been in prison for dealing drugs.

But after making a profession,

he'd gone back to it.

Well, the church was now
praying for his conversion.

You know, they were loving him

and praying for him.

But at the same time,

they were also praising God

in the same prayers

for taking him off the street

so he's not harming others

with his drug dealing.

You see, that is a right balance there.

Love and glory to God

dictates our response.

So we have to pause. Think it through.

What is going to bring glory to God?

And of course, you can apply this

to other areas of life

when you're not treated evil.

You know when you're choosing what to do.

You have many choices.

Think it through.

What is going to bring more glory to God?

When you're volunteering
to help for things,

it's very easy to volunteer, isn't it,

to do everything,

but sometimes you can take
things too much on

and that can be a bad testimony

because you can't follow it through.

You think can I properly do this

and so forth?

So, let's pray.

Our Father, we thank You for Your Word

and we pray You would help us

to apply these principles

to our lives;

that we would be governed by Scripture,

that we would not be

unnecessarily a bad testimony.

Help us to be about our Father's business,

concerned for the name of the Lord

in what we say, what we do.

In Jesus' name, Amen.