Late Night Casserole: Game of Scones, Who Ate It Better?

Seth takes some of the Late Night writers' discarded ideas and cooks them into a hilarious casserole of jokes.
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Late Night Casserole: Game of Scones, Who Ate It Better?- Late Night with Seth Meyers
https://youtu.be/rEXL_AF25To

Late Night with Seth Meyers
http://www.youtube.com/user/latenightseth

So, are you guys familiar

with the -
the dish known as a casserole?

If you're not, a casserole
is one of those meals

where you throw a bunch of
different kind of food

into a dish
and you sort of cook it up,

and what you get
is just what you get.

And the reason I bring it up
is we here at "Late Night" --
we come up with tons
of different ideas all the time

for the show,

and many of them aren't quite
enough to be full sketches --
full meals, if you will.

But instead of just discarding
all those ideas,

we thought we'd throw
them together casserole-style

in a segment we call
"Late Night Casserole."

[ Cheers and applause ]

All right, so, here we go.

Whenever
there's a red-carpet event

and two celebrities
wear the same outfit,

there inevitably
is a "Who Wore It Better?"

In magazines and TV shows.

Well, celebrities do more
than just wear clothes --

they also eat.

And sometimes,
celebrities eat the same foods,

which brings us
to our first casserole segment

called
"Who Ate It Better?"

[ Cheers and applause ]

So, here, we have a photo
of Christoph Waltz.

He's eating a hamburger.
[ Laughter ]

Next, we have
a photo of Gene Simmons,

also eating a hamburger.
[ Laughter and applause ]

And who ate it better?

Christoph Waltz.
There you go.

[ Laughter and applause ]

And that was
"Who Ate It Better?"

[ Cheers and applause continue ]

And that's it -- that's the kind
of idea we're dealing with.

[ Laughter ]

Just think --
if this wasn't "Casserole,"

we would do that
nine more times.
[ Laughter ]

You know, this year,
Robert Frost's seminal 1923 poem

"Stopping by Woods
on a Snowy Evening"
entered the public domain.

So that means it no longer has

an intellectual property
copyright --

we can use it.

We can do whatever
we want with it,

legally.
[ Laughter ]

So we decided, for
the first time on television,

to let a high-school scream-o
band from 2003 cover the poem.
Please welcome
from Piscataway, New Jersey,

Mary's Morning Deathbed.

-Well, I mean...

This next piece is very dumb.

It's not a smart one
like that last piece.

This one is called
"Roomba Rumors,"

and what it is,
is rumors told by a Roomba.

"Roomba Rumors."
You get it.
[ Laughter ]

Now let's see it.

[ Whirring ]

[ Laughter ]

-Psst!

Hey, come here.

[ Light laughter ]
I heard Lisa Gilbert's parents
got her a boob job

for her 16th birthday.

[ Laughter ]
-Whoo!

[ Laughter ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Laughter ]

[ Laughter continues ]

-Get out of here!

[ Laughter and applause ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

"Game of Thrones,"
a wonderful show,

had its series finale on Sunday,

and we're all sad --
we're all sad it's over.

So we start wondering, what if,
to make us feel better,

the Food Network
did a shot-for-shot remake

and called their show
"Game of Scones"?

[ Laughter ]

-So long as I am your King,

treason shall never
go unpunished.

Ser Ilyn, bring me his head!
[ Indistinct shouting ]

-[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Squelches ]

[ Laughter ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Applause continues ]

[ Laughter ]

[ Applause fades ]

-Let's hear another
"Roomba Rumor."

[ Laughter ]

[ Laughter and applause ]

[ Whirring ]

[ Laughter ]

-Psst, hey!

Come here.

Mary Perkins said her son,
Scott, got into Yale,

but he's actually
going to rehab.

[ Laughter ]

[ Laughter continues ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Laughter ]

[ Laughter continues ]

-Come on, you can do it, buddy.

You can do it.

Aw, you bailed again?!

[ Laughter and applause ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

We rehearsed for that
more than a Broadway show.
[ Laughter ]

There are videos --
there are these videos online

of people quietly making noise
and speaking softly
that some individuals
find pleasurable.

These videos are what is called
"ASMR," or autonomous
sensory meridian response.

Here's an example
of Jennifer Garner doing one.
-[ Whispering ]
I'm Jennifer...Garner.

And I am doing
an ASMR interview.

-So we decided to record
an ASMR video

with comedian Gilbert Gottfried.

[ Laughter and applause ]

-Hi! I'm Gilbert Gottfried!

Anvil, paper cut!

Sealy Posturepedic.
Now I'm gonna open
a can of corn.

Oh!

Look at that corn --
it's so soupy.

Is this creamed corn?
Well, either way,
the corn's all over the place.

Do you like this?

Is my voice making you tingle?
[ Laughter ]

Do you feel tingly?!

You're getting
a little turned on, aren't you?

[ Laughter ]
I could tell!

That's fine.

Relax your head
and float downstream!

[ Laughter ]

[ Cheers and applause ]
-And, hey --

Yeah, give it up for
Gilbert Gottfried, everybody.

[ Cheers and applause continue ]

I personally am
in the mood for a rumor,
but since he's shown us
that he's so good at steering...

[ Light laughter ]

[ Clinking ]

[ Light laughter ]

[ Laughter continues ]

Come on out, Roomba rumor.

[ Light laughter ]

[ Laughter continues ]

What -- What are you doing?
-Psst!
-What?!

[ Laughter ]

Are you kidding me?
-We're -- We're hav--

We're having a bit of
technical difficulty back here.

[ Laughter ]
People are freaking out.

Nobody can see it
in the audience.

[ Laughter ]
But here's another
"Roomba Rumor."

Patty Dawkins said her husband
is away on business,

but he's actually dead
under the porch.
[ Laughter ]

Anyway,
it's been a real pleasure.
-Yeah.
-Have a good one.

-Uh.
[ Laughter ]

Hey, you guys...

For --
[ Cheers and applause ]

Yeah, give it up
for "Roomba Rumor."

[ Cheers and applause continue ]

[ Applause continues ]

For "Late Night Casserole,"
no idea is too strange.

And that will become
abundantly clear

when you see our final piece.

Here is one of our favorites,
Conner O'Malley,

with an interpretive dance

to the theme music
from "The Sopranos."

[ Cheers and applause ]

Got yourself a gun

Your mama always said
you'd be the chosen one
She said
you're one in a million

You've got to burn to shine
[ Cheers and applause ]

But you were born
under a bad sign

With a blue moon
in your eyes
[ Laughter ]
And you woke up this morning

All that love had gone

Your papa never told you
about right and wrong

But you're looking good,
baby

I believe
that you're feeling fine
Shame about it

Born under a bad sign

With a blue moon
in your eyes

Just sing along
[ Cheers and applause ]

Woke up this morning

You got a blue moon

Got a blue moon in your eyes,
oh, yeah

I'm singing,
you woke up this morning

The world turned upside down
[ Cheers and applause ]

Lord above,
things ain't been the same

Since the blues
walked into town

But you're --
you're one in a million

'Cause you've got
that shotgun shine

Shame about it

Born under a bad sign

With a blue moon
in your eyes, yeah

- Yeah

- You woke up this morning

You got yourself a gun

[ Cheers and applause ]

Got yourself a gun

Got yourself a gun

[ Music ends ]
-[ Laughs ]

[ Cheers and applause ]
That's Conner O'Malley!

This has been
"Late Night Casserole"!