The Purpose Of Nonviolent Communication

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"At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled." - Marshall Rosenberg

Nonviolent communication is a tool that we can use to resolve conflicts at both the individual and collective levels. By focusing on identifying the needs of individuals and groups instead of the assigning blame for circumstances, nonviolent communication has the potential to heal the wounds most of us feel deep inside us. When we succeed in nonviolent communication, we are able to meet both our own needs and the needs of those we love. We begin to live from a place of “natural giving” which is where true joy and happiness emerges. A sustainable human society will emerge naturally if we focus on identifying and meeting not just the material needs of people but also the emotional needs as well.

Marshall Rosenberg pioneered the way for the nonviolent communication movement which now has a presence in over 60 countries around the world.

Learn more about Marshall Rosenberg:
https://www.cnvc.org/about/marshall-rosenberg.html

Learn more about nonviolent communication:
https://www.cnvc.org/

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The purpose of nonviolent communication

is to help you to do what you already know how to do -

to connect in a way that makes natural giving possible.

You all know that giving.

You know how to do it

by remembering to stay with that quality of giving

moment by moment in any connection.

But we also know how easy it is to lose it.

It is easy to lose that connection.

So that instead of enjoying that quality of giving,

which is possible every moment in every contact we have,

in spite of how precious that is,

we forget.

And instead of playing the game "Making Life Wonderful"

Much of the time we play another game called...

"Who's Right?" Have you ever played that game?

It's a game where everybody loses.

So isn't this amazing?

We all know about this quality of living.

It's possible every moment.

We find that the richest thing to do.

and much of our life we end up playing "Who's Right?"

Now the game of who's right involves

two of the most devious things human beings have ever come upon.

One - punishment.

Because if you're wrong in the game of "Who's Right?"

then you deserve to suffer.

No more punishment.

You won't do it in your families.

We'll get rid of it with criminals. It just makes things more violent.

We'll find other ways to deal with other nations besides punishment.

No more punishment.

No more reward.

It's the same game.

It's part of the game of "Who's Right?"

If you are right, you get rewarded.

If you wrong, you get punished.

No more. No more.

It's created enough violence on the planet.

We've been educated for quite a while to make violence enjoyable.

Educated in a way we can even be violent to our children.

Watch a parent try to bring about change in the child.

"Say you're sorry!"

"I'm sorry."

"You're not really sorry! I can see it! You're not REALLY sorry!"

*crying*

"I'm sorrrry!!"

"OK, I forgive you."

Can you imagine a game like that?

Can you imagine a parent responding to a child that way?

And if the parent is going to respond like that to a child in their own family,

what are they going to do to people from other cultures

who behave in a way they don't appreciate?

So of course you are going to have violence wherever you have this kind of thinking

Learning how to go up to our head and think

basically in terms of of right and wrong

good and bad, normal, abnormal.

You see, natural giving.

Anything we do in life that isn't coming out of that energy

We pay for it and everyone else pays for it.

Anything we do out of fear of punishment if we don't

everybody pays for it.

Anything we do for a reward

everybody pays for it.

Everything we do to make people like us

everybody pays for it.

Everything we do out of guilt, shame, duty, obligation,

everybody pays for it.

That isn't what we were designed for.

We were designed to enjoy giving -

to give from the heart.