Arrival at Kraghammer - Critical Role RPG Show: Episode 1

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Our story begins as Vox Machina, the heroes of Emon, arrive at the cavernous underground city of Kraghammer. After wiping out a grave threat to Emon’s emperor, Sovereign Uriel Tal'Dorei III, the band of adventurers has been sent on a journey by Arcanist, Allura Vysoren to find Lady Kima of Vord, a Halfling Paladin of Bahamut, who was drawn to Kraghammer upon learning of a great evil resting beneath it. The party get their bearings in the sprawling, dwarven city, meet a few of its more colorful denizens, and learn that the dwarves have been dealing with unnatural creatures spilling out of the mines in recent months. The mine’s overseer, Nostoc Greyspine, barely finishes explaining their troubles, when a pack of goblins and ogres come spilling out of the mine’s entrance, pursued by something far worse.

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Art by Kit Buss (http://www.anemonetea.com/)

MATT: Hello everyone. My name is Matthew Mercer,
voice actor and Dungeon Master for Critical Role

on Geek & Sundry, where I take a bunch of other
voice actors and run them through a fantastical

fantasy adventure through the world of Dungeons &
Dragons. We play every Thursday at 7:00pm Pacific

Standard Time on Geek & Sundry's Twitch stream.
Please come watch us live if you have the

opportunity. Back episodes and future episodes
will be uploaded on the Geek & Sundry website. You

can also check them out there. In the meantime,
enjoy!

MATT: Welcome to first episode of Critical Role,
and what this basically is is a continuation of

our weekly D&D game. Me and a bunch of other
likely nerdy and enjoyable voice actors gathering

around, rolling some dice, killing some creatures,
having some adventure. Now we have the pleasure of

bringing it on the stream for you to watch,
enjoy, and occasionally interact with. Before we

get to that, to give you a little backstory on the
characters you'll be seeing this evening, we're

going to play some videos for you in a second. Do
note for all you hardcore gamers out there, a lot

of this is house-ruled, loosey-goosey having a
good time. So all you number crunchers, stop

paying attention there, just have fun with it.
Nevertheless, we have some background story on

many of the characters you'll be seeing this
evening to help you jump into the story. Let's go

ahead and enjoy those in a minute, then we'll
introduce the players. So have fun!

TRAVIS: Right, listen up! If you have ale, then
you have a friend in Grog Strongjaw! A goliath of

towering height and size, this barbarian has an
appetite for the two great loves in his life:

combat, women, and ale!

[record scratch]

TRAVIS: Wait. Easily the brains of the group, Grog
is often consulted for his vast knowledge of

shapes, colors, and shiny things! Also ale. In his
early years, armed with his two-handed greataxe,

Grog often enjoyed proving his might amongst the
ranks of his family's wandering herd. But after

coming upon an unsuspecting elderly gnome in the
woods, he objected to the killing of such an innocent

life. A creature of impulse, Grog felt only pity
for this-- well, this terrified little thing. And

his disobedience cost him dearly. Beaten bloody,
and banished by the herd leader, his Uncle Kevdak,

Grog was abandoned and left to die. Exiled from
his herd, it was then that the relative of the

very gnome he fought to save, saved him. It was
the kindness of a gnome cleric named Pike that

healed Grog, bringing him back from death's edge.
And they have remained close friends ever since.

Most nights, Grog can be found challenging entire
taverns to wrestling matches! Or accompanying

Scanlan to the nearest house where you pay for
lady favors. Also ale!

MARISHA: A first impression of Keyleth would leave
you with little information on the half-elven

druid. You might even think that her social
awkwardness due to her sheltered upbringing is

kind of sweet. Of course, it would be unwise
underestimate her based on first impressions.

[thunder crack]

MARISHA: Under that un-intimidating petite frame
is a vicious beast waiting to be unleashed, whose

natural powers have made even the fiercest of
champions pee their pants, literally! Born to the

Air Tribe of the Ashari people, Keyleth was raised
with a deep love of nature and the elemental

magics. It is her people's inherent duty to
protect the delicate areas in Tal'Dorei where the

four elemental planes begin to bleed with this
realm. Since she was a little girl, she had quite

a knack for air manipulation and beast shaping
abilities. Well, if you consider kittens and

flying squirrels to be little beasts. Which, I do.
Anyways, it wasn't long before the headmaster of

the tribe, her father, Korren, realized her true
prodigious abilities and she was inveterated to

succeed him as the next headmaster. Just like
that, her jovial childhood was stripped and

replaced with endless spell memorization,
teachings from ancient traditions, and exceedingly

high expectations. Every druid leader-to-be must
embark on a journey to seek out the sister tribes in

order to introduce and establish respect amongst
the fellow headmasters. They call this the

Aramente, or Noble Odyssey. When her father felt
she was ready, he set her on the path to truly

discovering herself, not knowing when, or if, she
will ever return. As she hiked down the mountain

towards Stilben, she meditated on the task ahead.
Part of the Aramente is proving yourself a strong

warrior, a valiant protector, and a wise and
compassionate leader. With this knowledge, one

thought plays in repeat in her mind: Is she even
worthy?

TALIESIN: Percy was the third child of seven
children, born to a noble family who lived far to

the north in the ancient castle of Whitestone.
With so many siblings to share the burdens of

lordship, Percy turned his attention to the
sciences, engineering, and naturalism. One day, a

mysterious couple, named Lord and Lady Briarwood,
came to court. During a feast held in their honor,

the Briarwoods violently took control of the
castle, killing or imprisoning everyone who would

stand in their way. Percy awoke chained in the
dungeon, only to be freed by his younger sister.

Together they fled, chased by the Briarwoods' men.
As they ran, Percy's sister took several arrows to

the chest and fell. Percy kept running, eventually
jumping into a freezing river and floating

unconscious to freedom. He did not remember waking
up on a fishing boat. He barely remembered the

next two years, as he slowly made his way as far
south as possible. Then one night, Percy had a

dream. A roaring cloud of smoke offered him
vengeance against those who destroyed his family.

When he awoke, Percy began to design his first
gun.

SAM: Oh, you haven't heard of Scanlan Shorthalt?
Well, gird your loins, ladies, because he has his

eye on you. A talented musician, master of
disguise, and dashingly handsome in his own mind,

Scanlan sings songs almost as much as he sings his
own praises. Born a poor gnome, Scanlan used his

endless charm and soaring tenor voice to croon for
coin and support his single mother. One day, he

was discovered by a half-orc promoter, and joined
Dr. Dranzel's Spectacular Traveling Troupe where

he learned the ways of the world, and honed his
skills as a bard extraordinaire. A loner much of

his life, Scanlan has never quite come to terms
with the violent death of his mother at the hands

of a goblin invasion. While his years on the road
provided many, shall we say, educational

experiences with the opposite sex, deep down
Scanlan yearns for the one thing he's never known:

the true love of a fellow gnome. Still, Scanlan
considers himself a lover first, performer second,

and fighter distant third. On the battlefield,
he'll support his allies, but rarely draws blood,

unless it's to protect fellow gnome, Pike. Count
on Scanlan for a hearty laugh, a rollicking song,

and a twinkle in his eye that melts hearts and
makes the females swoon.

ORION: Greetings and salutations, I am Tiberius
Stormwind. I hail from a town called Ty'rex,

located in the heart of Draconia, born from a
politically respected family. At the age of 15, I

succeeded in passing the Sorcerer's Rite, showing
prodigy-like control of my magic. The judges and

the Draconian high council were amazed at how
powerful my spells were for how long I had been

training. At 20 years old, I was the youngest
appointed member of the magic guild in Draconian

history. For the next few years, I almost went mad
from the malaise of being a guild member, as it's

rather boring. However, one day I happened upon a
chamber, unused for quite some time. In the room

were stacks of books and maps of the surrounding
cities and areas around the known world. For

months, I would frequent the chamber, and learned
of artifacts from legend. After a long period of

research, I made a list of artifacts that caught
my eye. I brought these findings to the high

council and was told that all of the information
in the chamber I had stumbled upon was either

believed to be fiction, or unsolvable mysteries,
and hence were lost forever. I found those answers

to be unacceptable. A year later, I devised a ruse
and managed to convince the city council to lend

support in me leaving Draconia on a mission of
peace and diplomacy for the surrounding kingdoms.

Going from town to town and making friends and
allies in and for the name of Draconia. Being a

red dragonborn, I had quite the task on my hands
in that respect, but it was exactly what I needed

so I could explore the world and find these
artifacts, as I felt the truth was out there. Some

may describe me as buffoonish, but I say poppycock
to all that. I am much sharper than most give me

credit for. I just don't pay attention to things
sometimes. I've also been known to be rather

cunning, loyal, happy-go-lucky, and well,
dangerous. I can't help but show my true scales

every now and then. But overall, I think I'm quite
friendly for a dragonborn.

LIAM: Never entirely welcome in the company of
elves or men, Vax'ildan learned at a young age to

skip past formality, preferring instead to invite
himself in your door. Along with twin sister

Vex'ahlia, Vax was born by a chance encounter
between elven royalty and human peasantry. Raised

by their mother in their early years, the twins
were eventually sent off to their father in the

elven capital of Syngorn. But their cool reception
among the elves there never warmed, and their time

in the capital didn't last. The siblings stole
away one autumn night and set out on the open

road. After a few years of wandering, they
eventually decided to return to their mother, and

journeyed back to the lands of their youth. But
instead of finding their childhood home, they

returned to a pile of rubble. Their mother was
gone, their home burned to ash. Pressing the

townspeople for answers, they learned of the day
the dragon came. With their ties all severed,

Vax'ildan and his sister set out to find their
fortune together in Tal'Dorei. An outsider since

birth, Vax quickly learned to solve life's
challenges in his own particular way, often by

sidestepping them entirely. And when his knack for
circumventing adversity isn't enough, the way of

blades the elves schooled him in more than makes
up the difference.

LAURA: Like so many half-elves, Vex'ahlia has
spent most of her life suffering the cool

reception of a people who don't fully accept her.
Born of a human mother, and an elven father who

only later in life took an interest in their
existence, Vex'ahlia and her twin brother,

Vax'ildan, quickly realized the only people they
could truly rely on in this world were each other.

It was at the age of ten when the two were taken
from their mother, and brought to live in Syngorn,

the isolated elven city for which their father was
an ambassador. He quietly took them in, but always

kept an icy distance, and after too many years of
disdainful looks, the pair decided to leave his

indifference behind, and set out on their own. Vax
took to the cities, stealing small trinkets and

learning the ways of the thief, while Vex kept to
the woods. She preferred the isolation. Always the

keen observer, she learned to hunt and to track,
to spy and to shoot. Through a series of fateful

events, earned herself a companion in the form of
a bear-- her own stolen Trinket-- to fight

alongside her and protect her fiercely. Also, he
is adorable, and gives expert massages. Like so

many half-elves--

MATT: Hey guys, welcome back. To give you a little
heads up, we are playing the 5th edition of

Dungeons & Dragons. We recently converted over
from Pathfinder, for those who play Pathfinder.

One of our players was a gunslinger, for which
there are no rules for in 5th edition. So I had to

create and customize those for the game, so bear
with us on that. That will be an interesting ride,

regardless. We do have an eight-player game we've
been playing for two years, which is a little

crazy, which is why we go a little loose with the
rules. It's a great group, it's a lot of fun. Not

everyone can make every game, so we have enough
players to definitely pull a party each time.

ZAC: Just so you know, we're having an audio
bottleneck. It'll take about 30 seconds to work

itself out.

MATT: Okay, audio bottleneck.

ZAC: Tech problems that make me want to murder
someone.

MATT: That's okay. Just a second. You let us know
when it's okay to talk.

TRAVIS: I don't know what that means, a
bottleneck.

MATT: Are we all right? And how are we?
Exterminate. Exterminate.

SAM: Nice. Audio isn't working they're going to
watch something else. Thanks, douche.

(laughter)

MATT: Is the mic adjusted? Is it any better?

ZAC: Better now. We're good.

MATT: Well, great. Thank you guys. A couple of
things transitioned from Pathfinder to 5th edition

may be a little strange and fun. We have a lot of
players, but they're great folks and most of that

just means I have to work really hard to make sure
the game keeps going, so that's on me. Ashley

Johnson, unfortunately, cannot join us. She's our
gnome cleric, Pike. She'll be here next week.

Unfortunately, she's in London accepting a BAFTA,
so I think we're okay. For the Last of Us. That's

harsh. Also no donations this week, but going
forward we will have donations available for those

that will help partially run the show from our
wonderful cameraman and crew. Also, half of our

donations will go to the 826 charity. Marisha, if
you want to talk a little about that.

MARISHA: Yes! 826LA is a charity that focuses on
tutoring children in an after-school program and

helping specifically with creativity,
storytelling, art and general things that relate

to Dungeons & Dragons. You should definitely check
out the Time Travel Mart. There is one in Echo

Park and one in Mar Vista. They have this amazing
storefront where you can buy these awesome

tchotchkes and things that go immediately to
support the charity and the stream. It's awesome.

It's 826LA, you should look it up. There's a few
all over the country.

MATT: Yes. Also, as a heads up because I saw some
of you guys ask me in the chatroom: These videos

will be available on the Geek & Sundry YouTube
Channel soon enough, as well as a more extensive

backstory of the party. We'll have all that
content ready for you so you don't have to

memorize it. Maybe a bio page, I don't know. We'll
figure something out. It'll be fine. Anyway, let's

open that up. You know who I am. Matthew Mercer,
voice actor and I've been running this game for

two years. I'm a hardcore nerd. Let's go around
the table and introduce our players so you can

attach the faces to the intros you just saw. Let's
start on this side with Travis.

TRAVIS: Oh! Hi. I'm Travis Willingham, voice
actor, gamer. I play Grog the goliath barbarian.

LAURA: Hi. I'm Laura Bailey. I'm also, you know, a
voice actor like everyone here.

TRAVIS: Yeah. I think we all are.

LAURA: I'm playing Vex'ahlia. The coolest chick
ever.

MATT: The ranger with the bear.

LAURA: The ranger with the bear named Trinket, in
case you didn't catch that. His name is Trinket

and he's amazing.

LIAM: Hi, I'm Liam O'Brien. I'm playing Vax'ildan.
This one's twin. We're half-elven twins. I started

playing D&D when I was 13 and I can't believe this
is happening. So cheers. Cheers to this.

TALIESIN: My name is Taliesin Jaffe. I'm a voice
actor, director, and I've been playing some form

of Dungeons & Dragons, and if you can't tell by my
black clothing, a lot of Vampire the Masquerade

when I was a teenager.

There was a problem. I'm playing Percy, the
Gunslinger. I'm the reason all the rules are all

messed up.

MARISHA: I am Keyleth, the druid from the tribe of
the Air Ashari. I am a half-elven person.

MATT: No, you're elven.

MARISHA: No, half-elf.

MATT: Half-elf. Okay.

MARISHA: Yeah, Come on, man. I've been half-elf
since day one. Half-elven. Yes! You can see me

shooting lightning and turning into awesome
animals.

MATT: Orion.

ORION and MATT: Hi.

ORION: Hey, everybody. I'm Orion Acaba and I'm
also a voice actor. I do things.

MARISHA: Oh, I'm Marisha Ray, by the way.

ORION: Yeah!

MARISHA: Did I say that?

ORION: Keyleth is Marisha Ray.

MATT: Let Orion have his moment. Don't try and
break--

ORION: No, it's our moment.

MATT: There you go. All right.

ORION: I'm Tiberius the awesome sorcerer.

MATT: Dragonborn sorcerer.

ORION: Dragonborn, yeah! That's right.

SAM: I'm Sam Riegel: a voice actor, and stuff. My
character is Scanlan Shorthalt. The gnome bard who

sings a lot. Let's start playing, yeah?

(cheering)

MATT: All right! Let's jump on in. Thank you. Last
we left off, to give you a little backstory. The

party had completed a large venture in saving the
nearby city of Emon. One of the central capitals

of this human civilization of Tal'Dorei. They
managed to halt a demonic insurrection within the

throne and as such were greeted to a hero's
celebration and had a keep built in their honor.

Over the six month period of the keep being
constructed, they went their own ways and then

returned to see its final creation. However, they
did not have a chance to really enjoy it

immediately as one of their good friends and
allies, Arcanist Allura Vysoren of the Tal'Dorei

council came to them requesting their aid saying
that a long time friend of hers, Lady Kima of

Vord, who is a very well known and very well
respected halfling paladin of Bahamut, the

Platinum Dragon, had been gone on a pilgrimage for
a while, essentially a vision quest that is part

of her own development as a paladin. As part of
this, she let the information go to Allura that a

dark vision had come to her saying that some sort
of evil root is beginning to breed beneath

Kraghammer and the mountains within Kraghammer,
which is the nearby dwarven civilization that you

guys have previously not been allowed entry to
because the dwarves weren't fans of nobody without

any political means of entry. However, she managed
to acquire the necessary documentation and offered

you a very substantial reward should you find the
whereabouts of Lady Kima of Vord and hopefully

bring her back safely. You left on the pathway to
the dwarven citadel of Kraghammer. You were

ambushed by a group of roaming barbarian goliaths.
Part way through the battle, Grog managed to

recognize one of them as a previous ally and no
longer an ally at this time.

TRAVIS: Son of a bitch.

MATT: Yep, the barbarian for his first and only
time so far managed to avert battle through a

social encounter and rolled pretty damn well on a
persuasion check. So you got one. You get one. You

got your one. Never again.

TRAVIS: Next time he dies.

MATT: Yeah. Essentially. Which managed to not turn
it into complete bloodshed. You continued on your

way to Kraghammer, presented your paperwork, were
given entry into the city and that is where we

begin this adventure.

LAURA: Oh no.

SAM: In the city of Kraghammer?

MATT: In the city of Kraghammer.

SAM: Wow! This is fantastic.

TRAVIS: We're in, right?

MARISHA: Yes. We were at the door. We were talking
to someone right?

MATT: Yeah, you were talking to the front guards
at the gate of Kraghammer. They have begrudgingly

let you inside. Giving you a couple of pointers
little prods and sent you into the city proper.

You made your way through the darkened alleyways
and stone carved tunnel that leads into the main,

central portion of the city proper. An enormous
underground metropolis sprawls out before you. The

dark earth and shadows creating beautiful stone
work, marble columns, archways, and labyrinthine

bridges climbing across the vertical cityscape.
All warmed with the red glow of some strange,

crimson rock peppered throughout the town as a
light source. A large metal forge envelops the

center of this cylindrical city. The entire is a
three-tiered cylindrical city that is built into

the ground of the mountain itself. Welcome to
Kraghammer!

LIAM: Remind us. Did we bullshit our way in here,
or did--

LAURA: No, we had a way in.

MATT: No, Allura got your paperwork so you were
actually able to get in this time.

LAURA: But, Ashley speaks Dwarvish. Pike speaks--

MATT: Pike speaks Dwarvish and she's not here.

ORION: I speak Dwarvish as well!

LAURA: Oh good!

ORION: I do.

SAM: That's fantastic.

MATT: The only other bit of information you have
about the whereabouts of her is that she came here

to go into the mine Apparently, a mithral mine
where this evil is supposedly brewing. You heard

that the one person who owns the biggest part of
the mithral market here cornering, his name was the

dwarven Lord Nostoc Greyspine. That was the only
name you had in regards to this deep earth quarry.

SAM: Greyspine?

MATT: Greyspine, correct.

SAM: We have to go find him, don't we?

TALIESIN: I think before we do anything we should
find a place to sleep.

ORION: That's true!

TRAVIS: Oh! We're all jacked up from before,
right?

TALIESIN: Wouldn't it be nice to put everything
down for a little while.

SAM: Of course. I've got a lot of booty that I
need to stow.

ORION: Good way to phrase that, Scanlan. Also, I
would like to check out any places where they

might have enchanted libraries or what not.

SAM: Can you stick with us? You're the only one
that speaks Dwarvish.

LIAM: Yes, you're getting ahead of yourself.

ORION: I'm just saying put it on the list.

LIAM: Let's look around. Are there any dwarves in
the vicinity?

MATT: Oh, there are many! As you finish this
conversation you look about there are two guards

posted nearby wearing dark crimson and brass chest
plates that have a uniform scar carved across the

front. It's actually built into the armor itself
as a design. They're both staring awkwardly at all

of you arguing in the middle of this entry
thoroughfare of Kraghammer.

LIAM: Tiberius, make with the dwarf-talk, please.

ORION: Hello, friends. My associates and I were
looking for a place of lodging for the night and a

place of reputable reputation.

MATT: One dwarf shouts over to another one, "You
hear that, Jepson?! They're looking for a place to

"stay." "Aye, I heard that right. It's about time
we had some new folk in town. Well, if you're

"looking for a place to stay I'd say your best bet
would be the Pig Pits."

SAM: Is that the name of a place?

MATT: "Yes! Certainly! The Pig Pits."

SAM: All right.

MATT: "Ask for the Pig Pits--"

LAURA: Those are actually pig pits, isn't it?

MARISHA: I feel like we're being hazed.

MATT: "What?! No! Not at all."

TRAVIS: That sounds fine with me.

LIAM: This is Common?

MATT: This is all in Common, yeah.

SAM: Which way to the Pig Pits, sir?

MATT: "Pig Pits are that way." He points over the
edge and you see down past the central forge

structure in the city to the very bottom nearby a
large temple that envelops the bottom floor of

Kraghammer proper there is indeed a distant slop
of mud where internal livestock are being kept.

LAURA: I bring out a piece of gold. Please, sir,
we're looking for a place to stay that isn't

covered in mud.

MATT: "It's good to see that at least one of you
speaks Dwarvish." Takes the coin, kinks it in his

teeth and goes, "All right, now if you're looking
for a proper place to stay you're going to look

"for the Iron Hearth Tavern. That is to your left
up that way no more than a half mile. Keep an eye

"out. Listen for the laughter and the people who
are very drunk. That's your best bet."

LAURA: Thank you, sir.

MATT: "No worries."

LAURA: I like your armor by the way.

MATT: "Well, thank you kindly."

TRAVIS: Was that a wink?

LAURA: It was.

LIAM: That's all she does.

LAURA: That's all I do is wink at people.

LIAM: It's a nervous tic, really.

MATT: It's a feat she took. You progress to the
western side of the Kraghammer rotation as you

curl around the central platform. Making your way
eventually to the outside of this rather large,

central tavern inn. As you walk in, you can hear
music playing, you can hear laughter and boastful

cheer, you can hear some arguments in the
distance. You can hear it from a good two or three

buildings away. This is definitely a central
social environment here in Kraghammer. As you walk

inside, you-- Let me get some proper tavern music
here for you.

SAM: Smells in here.

TRAVIS: Drinking territory.

MATT: You hear some loud boisterous (hearty
dwarven laughter), some drinks being clinked

together. As you walk in, the first thing that
catches you is the scent of stale alcohol and

smoked wood of some kind.

TRAVIS: Yes!

MATT: There are tables, most of them in decent
condition, some of them half-broken and repaired,

probably from some previous encounter in the bar.
In the center of the room, there looks to be a not

currently in use, specifically built brawling
circle. It's about 30 feet by 20 feet. It's more

of an oval. It's not in use, currently.

SAM: An octagon?

MATT: Essentially.

LIAM: How high is the ceiling here? Can Grog fit
in here?

TRAVIS: Oh right, am I like--?

MATT: The ceiling actually is considered vaulted
ceiling for dwarves so it runs at about seven

feet. For Grog, it's uncomfortable, almost
scratching your head across the top. As you enter,

about seven or eight of the nearby dwarves at the
front door go, (hearty laughter). They look

immediately at the ragtag non-dwarven group that
just stumbled into the center of the tavern.

TRAVIS: What're you looking at?

MATT: "It's not very often we get someone with
that kind of a mug on you. Let me buy you a drink, come

"sit down!"

TRAVIS: My kind of people, see you later! I go
grab the drink with the lovely dwarves.

LAURA: We grab a table next to the dwarves with
Grog.

MATT: Both tables next to the table they're at are
completely filled with dwarves.

LIAM: I take a sack of gold out of my own pocket,
slam it down on the table--

LAURA: A sack of gold, are you crazy?!

LIAM: Gentlemens and ladies. Ladies and gentlemen,
we are traveling from far away. We just arrived

from Emon. We are fascinated to see your
underground city and to celebrate the occasion I

would like to buy every dwarf in here a round.
Bartender!

MATT: The music stops. The conversation stops. All
dwarven eyes turn to the table and they all turn

to a single dwarven woman in the back who's behind
one of the bars, who has a towel over one arm.

She's looking around, she's staring confused at
you and all eyes are on her, and she goes, "Well,

"it's about time someone around here had some
generosity! Certainly, pay upfront. Drinks all

"around on this half-elven gentleman."

LIAM: Let it rain!

(cheering)

MARISHA: Make it rain.

TRAVIS: I would like a cask of ale.

LIAM: I'll need your largest bowl of ale for this
one here.

TRAVIS: Cask. Cask of ale. Cask.

MATT: "No worries, Adra's got your back, be right
back." She wanders off to the back room, comes

back and starts pouring stein after stein after
stein of ale.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Keep going. Looks good.

MATT: You do notice she is definitely the head of
this tavern and all of her barkeeps are male and

seem to be worked rather ragged.

LAURA: What was her name?

SAM: Excuse me, miss. You.

MATT: "Adra. Yeah?"

SAM: I'm sorry?

MATT: "Adra."

SAM: Adra! You run a fantastic establishment.

MATT: "That's right I do!"

SAM: Thank you for welcoming us and allowing us to
buy this round.

MATT: "Of course. Patrons that come and drop coin
like that are welcome any time."

SAM: Well, thank you for your hospitality. Might
we inquire about staying here the night? Do you

have an inn with the establishment?

MATT: She reaches below and pulls out a big tome
and starts thumbing through it. "You know,

"actually we have openings right now on the second
floor."

SAM: Several rooms, or just one?

MATT: "Do you need them side by side?"

SAM: That would be nice.

MATT: "We could pull him there and push him into
room seven."

SAM: Something with a little bed for me.

MATT: "Giles!" One of the dwarf barmaiders comes
over. "Aye?" "Get Stepheson out of his room, move

"him to the third floor. We have to open a block
for our new guests." "Ugh, fine." The older dwarf

stumbles his way up the stairs begrudgingly.
"Right, so I can get a room for each of you. We're

"looking at eight rooms separately, that will run
you per evening about 25 gold pieces. Does that

sound about right?"

TRAVIS: Total?

MATT: "25 total pieces."

SAM: Oh, okay.

LAURA: You want to share a room?

MARISHA: Yeah! We'll bunk up.

SAM: Grog, you and me. I can sleep on your feet.

LAURA: Probably like 15 gold then for just that
amount.

MATT: She visibly deflates a little bit and is
like, "All right, fair enough. Five rooms it is.

15 gold per room."

SAM: We're penny pinchers.

MATT: "How long do you expect to stay?"

ORION: At least a few days.

SAM: I'd say a week.

TALIESIN: With an indefinite hold, we have
business in the city.

MATT: "Right! Well how bout we pay the week in
advance and I'll give you a discount?"

LAURA: What's the discount?

MARISHA: Wait. I thought we were going to be
heading south?

MATT: "Let's say, 100 gold for the week, all five
rooms."

LIAM: We're pretty flush, I think we can handle
it.

LAURA: Yes. That works.

TALIESIN: This doesn't terrify me.

LAURA: I think I did the math wrong.

TRAVIS: I was told there would be no math.

SAM: Sounds good!

LAURA: Gah! I hate not having a calculator! Fine!

MATT: "Ah! Great!" She pulls back and pulls some
keys out and hands them to the rest of you. Hands

you some paperwork, shows you which rooms are
yours and says, "You're welcome to stay all you

"like, ask questions, hang about. Just make sure
you don't do anything stupid near the Carvers."

ORION: Ooh! Like what? I do things like that all
the time!

LIAM: Sorry. Our Dwarvish is a little thick. Near
the--?

MATT: "The Carvers, the Carvers!"

LAURA: The carvas. Of course.

MATT: "The Carvers!"

ORION: The Converse! Of course!

SAM: The Car Verse?

MATT: "Is this your first time in Kraghammer?"

ALL: Yes!

MATT: "The Carvers are the guard that run this
city. They're the ones that keep the law."

LAURA: The scar!

MATT: "Yes, the armor, the Carvers!"

TRAVIS: Yeah, what is with the scar? I've got one
myself.

MATT: She leans back and as you reveal the rather
gnarled scar on your chest. She reels back a bit

and two of the nearby dwarves go, "Yeah!" They
chug down their drinks.

TRAVIS: Yeah! More drinking!

MATT: They start showing their scars and are like,
"Oh no! I got this one from an iron bolt!" They

start talking about different creatures they
fought. "All right. Well, the Carvers are a bit of

"a-- how do I put it? A military class in this
city. They run a very tight ship on the streets,

"so be careful."

TALIESIN: That shouldn't be a problem. Mostly we
are looking for Lord Greyspine, if I recall. We

have business with him.

LAURA: We might have business with you, if you've
seen a halfling come through.

MATT: She thinks to herself and goes, "There was a
halfling woman, but she was staying at the

"Firebrook Inn."

LAURA: The Firebrook.

MATT: "The bottom floor, for a couple of weeks.
There was talk about her. She got in a few fights

"herself. The one with the silver armor? That one?
Yeah, she was a firebrand if ever I saw one. Right

up my alley, I like that one."

TALIESIN: How long ago would you say this was?

MATT: "Oh, she went through a few weeks. I haven't
seen her recently."

TALIESIN: Thank you. Perfect.

TRAVIS: Is there a champion of the circle of
fighting in the tavern? Is there a reigning--

SAM: Already, Grog?!

TRAVIS: Well, I have to know these things!

TALIESIN: He has to do something.

MATT: She turns the barrel that she has on the
table towards you a little bit and you can see the

actual symbol,

this burned image on the side that says, "Balgus
Brewery." She goes, "That'll be Balgus. The one

"that supplies us with what you're drinking. He's
the undefeated champion. But I don't think he's

"quite right to fight at the moment." She points
towards the very edge of the bar and you see one

older grizzled dwarf, long gray hair pulled into
straight braids in the back, big bushy beard

that's all shoved up into his face because he's
asleep, drunk as a skunk, on the edge of the bar.

TRAVIS: My type of dwarf. Maybe we'll can use him
as a merc later or something. All right, another

time then.

SAM: Another time.

LIAM: Save it for a rainy day.

TRAVIS: Does it rain down here?

TALIESIN: I don't think they have rainy days.

MATT: "You said Greyspine?"

LAURA: Yes, Greyspine.

TALIESIN: We are looking to set up a meeting.

MATT: "Which Greyspine?"

SAM: Nostoc?

MATT: "Nostoc Greyspine. He's definitely a
business type one."

ORION: Well who's the friendlier Greypsine?

MATT: "The friendlier of the types would probably
be the head of House Greyspine."

MARISHA: Wait, how many Greypsines are there?

MATT: "Oh, well there's probably several at this
point, I've lost track. The family line's been

"going for a while. However, of House Greyspine
currently, Ironkeeper Gradim Greyspine is the head

"of this entire city. Voted in ten years ago,
actually. He's head of the council."

MARISHA: Ironkeeper what?

MATT: "Ironkeeper Gradim Greypsine. Gradim!
You're-- (sigh) These commoners. Learn to speak

"the language!"

ORION: I understood!

LIAM: Adra, may I ask, obviously we have no
dwarves in our little party.

MATT: "Unfortunately."

LAURA: Unfortunately for us.

LIAM: Sorry, about that. You're very welcoming. We
appreciate that. How welcoming would you say the

city is to outsiders? Would we stick out like a
sore thumb?

MATT: "Probably. As long as you don't do anything
stupid. As long as you keep the coin flowing, and

"as long as you stay to the upper levels. The lower
levels you get to more of the business: the

"miners, the forges, the foundries. When you get to
the business areas, that's where the guard gets

"heavier and that's where folks don't
like you poking near their money."

SAM: So the lower levels would have the mithral
mines?

MATT: "The mithral mine, aye."

SAM: There's one?

MATT: "There is one now. It's all been, and has
been for quite some time, completely helmed up and

"run by House Greypsine. The Keystone Quarry is
what you're looking for."

LIAM: We're not really interested in that. We just
want to see the city. Our business is elsewhere.

MATT: "Yeah, I would not recommend it. Not without
proper business credentials on that. You'll end up

"being questioned very heavily."

LIAM: Sounds like a dirty business, anyway.

LAURA: Right.

TRAVIS: Yeah, you want to stay away from those
miners Scanlan, that's a dirty business.

MATT: She gives you a look almost like it was a
slightly racist statement, but then passes it off

because you paid her a lot of coin today.

MARISHA: So racist.

LAURA: So No-stock. Nostoc?

LIAM: Nostoc.

LAURA: Nostoc Greyspine.

MATT: "Yes."

LAURA: You said that he's kind of a--?

MATT: "Oh, there's a reason he's the one put in
charge of the mines and the businesses and the foundries."

LAURA: Oh. Where is he located, exactly?

MATT: "Well, if he's not home at the actual
Greyspine Manor-- which is a sprawling house. It

contains all the ones who live there."

TRAVIS: We're going there!

MATT: "He's probably down at the actual--" What is
it? Pardon. Bear with me. Consult my notes! "He's

"probably down by the Greyspine quarry itself,
keeping an eye on the business there." There's a

nearby dwarf having a few drinks, goes, "Ah,
Greyspine, there's been troubles round there!

"Apparently, a friend of mine works there. Got a
big, nasty scar last week. Wouldn't even pay him

"for his time off to heal. It's bullshit!" He slams
his drink down on the table.

SAM: Down at the quarry?

MATT: "Aye."

MARISHA: How did your friend get this nasty cut?

MATT: "He works there! Said there was things
pouring out of the caves. Goblins and the like!"

LAURA and SAM: Goblins?

MATT: "Ah, goblins are nothing."

LAURA: Of course not.

MATT: "Seems there's something other than goblins
poking out through this hole. Just saying, that

"business is in for a serious problem if it doesn't
change."

LAURA: Does your friend ever have drinks here?
"No. He's been sober for two years. We're not

"friends anymore." Tugs on his beard a little bit.

MARISHA: Oh. I'm sorry. I think.

SAM: A lot to process.

MATT: He pours another drink. At which point, Adra
slaps his hand and says, "Pay that. He bought one round!"

He finishes his drink and walks away.

ORION: Excuse me, one thing, Adra, are there any
mystics in this particular town that study any

arcane arts?

MATT: "Of course! What, you think dwarves are just
the baseline folks who brawl each other?"

MARISHA: So many racist comments. Jeez!

MATT: "What you're looking for is House
Thunderbrand. They are the ones who, by blood,

"have the arcane arts in their family line."

ORION: Interesting.

MATT: "They run most of the enchantment process in
the city, they also train-- they call it train,

"some of us call it more 'indoctrination.' But,
they're definitely the focus of all arcane arts

"here in Kraghammer."

ORION: Thank you.

SAM: Thank you for your time, Adra. Carry on with
your evening. We'll seek you out if we have any

more questions.

MATT: "Certainly. Now if you don't mind," She
scoots you aside, and you see a line, a queue of

dwarves behind her, with their empty cups, waiting
to get to her to fill up the drinks that you bought.

MARISHA: Oh, that's-- we did promise that.

LIAM: Enjoy, gentlemen! And lady.

LAURA: What time of day is it?

MATT: Best that you can tell, inside-- you can't.
You just arrived, probably around 3:00 or 4:00 in

the afternoon, so you're probably pushing sunset
right about now.

LAURA: Do dwarves carry the same schedule?

MARISHA: I don't know.

LAURA: Does anyone know?

TALIESIN: There's only one way to find out.

MATT: Make an intelligence check!

TRAVIS: Oh! Roll it! You're the first one.

LIAM: First die rolling. Nice!

LAURA: 18, plus, what is that? Investigation? Or
insight?

MATT: This would be a straight intelligence roll
on this one, so your general knowledge of dwarves.

LAURA: Oh. 20, then.

MATT: 20. That's not too bad! In your experience,
you know dwarves, depending on their lifestyle and

what they do for a living, their clocks can run
differently, but for the most part, they run in

tandem with most other races just because it makes
it easier for dealing with outside forces. But,

like I said, it's very variable. There is no set,
locked time of: this is morning, this is evening,

they just sleep when they need to and wake up when
they need to.

LAURA: All right. Good to know.

MARISHA: It's like living in Alaska.

LAURA: Right!

MATT and MARISHA: Dwarven Alaska.

SAM: Yes, fellows, what should we do?

LAURA: Check out the Firebrook Inn, yes. That was
where Lady Kima was staying. Also, I think

somebody should run reconnaissance on Greyspine
Manor.

TRAVIS: Like stealth, you mean?

LIAM: Yes. I don't think we should try to go
directly to the mines and find Nostoc.

LAURA: No.

SAM: Agreed.

LIAM: No, I think maybe we should enlist the help
of a dwarf here in the city to introduce us to

Nostoc. I mean, we're not trying to raise hell, or
bring down a thousand dwarves upon us.

TALIESIN: There's no sense attempting to be
subtle.

SAM: Although, that does sound fun.

TALIESIN: Everyone's going to know that we're
here, and what we're looking for by morning.

TRAVIS: Why don't we get old Drunky Greybeard
that's got his face down on the bar to do it?

LAURA: Yeah, but he's very-- Well, let's ask him.
Maybe he's drunk enough to help us. Saddle up, Grog!

TRAVIS: Me?

LAURA: People seem to like you here.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but I'm really-- oh, that's true.

LIAM: You're the connoisseur.

TRAVIS: Maybe I'll part my armor, so he can see
the scar. Post up on the bar.

MARISHA: Take him a drink!

TRAVIS: All right.

LAURA: Yes, take him a drink. A very large drink.

TRAVIS: I would like to get the largest goblet you
have of ale, and I would like to go over to, what

was his name? Bulbous?

MATT: Balgus.

ALL: Balgus.

TRAVIS: I had it right.

MATT: Close.

TRAVIS: Balgus. I would like to--

SAM: I'm coming with Grog.

TRAVIS: Yes. I would like to go up and put my
scar, and post up on the bar and (throat clearing)

MATT: (snores)

TRAVIS: (louder throat clearing)

SAM: I take out my flute and I play a little
Healing Words spell and try to heal him of his drunkenness.

LAURA: Just a little of his drunkenness, not all
of his drunkenness.

TRAVIS: He likes him drunk, so maybe like, half.

MATT: You play your tune, a beautiful little tune
that saunters through the air.The magical energies

emanate from the notes you make, drift into his
torso; you can see a slight glow and he,

"(grumbling) Where's that blasted music coming
from?" His hand goes out and paws towards the flute.

SAM: Huh, I don't know where that was coming
from.

TRAVIS: I'm sorry to disturb you, your name is of
great repute around these parts.

MATT: He wipes a globule of drool that's crusted
into his beard. "Aye, you've bothered me nap. What

"do you want from Balgus?"

TRAVIS: We were wondering if we might, perchance,
acquire your knowledge about town, for a bit of a search.

LAURA: (whispered) Talk to him about fighting
first.

TRAVIS: Right, I hear you're a good fighter. You
look strong.

MATT: "I've heard the same."

TRAVIS: Right. How often do you get challengers in
this tavern?

MATT: "Not as often as I get woken up from my
sleep. Which is never. Because only stupid people

"do that."

LAURA: Lost cause. Abandon ship!

TRAVIS: Right. I have an intelligence of six, I
know what I'm doing.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: There is a very pretty lady over there,
with slightly pointy ears. (whispering) I'm

talking about you or you. (normal volume) There's
two of them! They were actually wanting to ask you

a question if you wouldn't mind.

MATT: Make a persuasion roll.

TRAVIS: Me?!

SAM: Why is he doing this?

LAURA: Why would you throw this to us?

MARISHA: I know!

TRAVIS: Because I was either going to fight him or
I was going to throw boobs at him, and I went with boobs.

MARISHA: He realized he was sinking.

MATT: That's level ten you get that, by the way.
Throw Boobs.

LAURA: Persuasion. Oh! Good roll.

TRAVIS: Look at that: one. 19!

LAURA: Woo!

MATT: 19? He takes a moment, and grabs the drink
that you prepared from his hand and goes (gulps).

TRAVIS: Nice form.

MATT: "You've got five minutes." Then he stretches
his back a bit. This gnarled hunch that he holds

in his physical posture, flexes it a bit, and now
you can see the rippling muscles that show beneath

his tunic. This is a built dwarf. You don't know
what past he's had, moving boulders or forging

crazy iron shit, but there's a reason this guy has
a reputation. He stands up off of his stool, which

you can now hear crack with the weight of a dwarf,
which are made for normal dwarves. This guy is

solid muscle. He saunters over, looks about for a
second, almost like he's looking for his next

target. Sees the pointy ears, sees the pointy
ears, and goes (sighs) and saunters up to the

table, slams his hand down.

MARISHA: Why is he coming towards us?

TRAVIS: Because I told him to. Because you're
supposed to ask him--

SAM: Boobs!

LIAM: Steady as she goes, ladies.

MATT: He sits down.

MARISHA: (whispered to Laura) You're better at
this than I am.

MATT: "You called for Balgus, why?"

LAURA: Oh! Hello, Balgus.

MARISHA: Hi, Balgus.

LAURA: We just heard you're so impressive and
masculine.

MARISHA: Yes!

LAURA: We really wanted to talk to you.

ORION: I use my Earring of Whisper to Vex. Cool it
down.

LAURA: Oh sh-- okay.

ORION: Calm down. Not so sexy.

MARISHA: I reach out and I stroke his bicep
because I can't hear that.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

ORION: Keyleth, stop doing that.

LIAM: I disagree, heat it up.

LAURA: Roll so good.

MARISHA: I'm really low in charisma. I'm really
awkward. Persuasion.

MATT: Roll your persuasion.

TALIESIN: (groans)

LAURA: Oh no, what was it?

MARISHA: I rolled a two?

MATT: Plus?

MARISHA: Plus my persuasion of zero, because I
have a shitty charisma.

MATT: As your arm reaches for his bicep--

MARISHA: I didn't say anything. I just touched
him!

MATT: As your arm reaches for his bicep, his hand,
belying his grumpy, half-asleep haze-- with

unnatural speed reaches out and slaps your hand to
the side. Not painfully, but just, "No touching

"the drunk dwarf."

LAURA: Sorry about my friend, Balgus. She's just
so impressed with your muscles. We've heard

amazing things about you here.

MATT: "Have you?"

LAURA: We have.

MATT "Tell me, what have you heard?"

LAURA: We've heard that no fighter can match your
skill.

MATT: "You've heard correct."

LAURA: We've heard that you know more about this
town than anyone else.

MATT: "I've been around a bit, yeah."

LAURA: Yeah. I bet nobody knows more about the
Greyspines than you do and they've been around a

long time.

MATT: "Political ass minds is what they are."

SAM: Assmanes?

MATT: "Not keen to them-- ass minds."

MARISHA: Ass mines?

MATT: "They've got minds of an ass."

MARISHA: Oh, I thought you meant like, mines that
ex-- Sorry. Go ahead. No, ass minds. Yes, they

have ass minds.

MATT: "The Greyspines are no friend of mine. "

LAURA: No, I've heard they're terrible. What do
you do, Balgus?

MATT: "What do I do? I own the brewery in town!"

LAURA: (gasp) You do?

MATT: "The only one."

LAURA: The best brewery?

MATT: "The only! Of course it's the best!" I've
put everyone out of business. We export to most of Tal'Dorei."

LAURA: This ale is amazing, that I'm drinking
right now.

MATT: "Damn right it is!" You set it down and he
takes it from your hand a little bit and takes a

sip himself and sets it down again. (inhales
deeply) (spits)

MARISHA: It seems that you aren't challenged often
in business and in fighting.

ORION: I saunter over. Hello! My name is Tiberius
Stormwind!

TRAVIS: We're all going to die.

MATT: He glances over and says, "Dragonborn. I
haven't fought one of your kind in a long time."

ORION: Oh! Who's the last dragonborn you fought?
Do you remember his name?

MATT: "I recall his name was 'Broken and
Bloody.'"

SAM: I think that's a friend of yours.

ORION: No, I know him! I know the Bloody family,
they're terrible people. Anyway, my associates and

I were wondering if you might come-- Is that what
we're doing? Trying to get him to come with us?

LAURA: Anyway!

SAM: We're trying to find out more about
Greyspine. Where he might be or who his associates

might be.

MARISHA: Gee, I'm so glad you came over.

ORION: Would you like to accompany us on this
journey that we're taking? We're trying to find

the Greyspines and you seem like you would want to
come in on this.

TALIESIN: We think there might be something rotten
in the mines.

MATT: Make a persuasion roll. You can assist if
you like.

TALIESIN: I'm assisting in this persuasion roll,
good god.

MATT: That just means he has advantage.

ORION: Oh, I get advantage?

TALIESIN: 21.

MATT: Yeah, so you get advantage on this roll.

SAM: So you roll twice.

MARISHA: What was the first thing you rolled?

ORION: Three. I'll take the 18.

MARISHA: Definitely take that 18.

ORION: Oh and plus my--

MARISHA: Persuasion.

MATT: He looks at you keenly, which--

ORION: Which is a nine.

LAURA: Whoa, you have a nine persuasion?!

ORION: That's why I talk.

MARISHA: He's pretty charismatic.

MATT: He goes, "Well no, I don't really want to go
anywhere with you. But if you're looking to go

"ahead and talk to the Greyspines, you don't want
to go empty-handed. It's customary to come with a

"gift of some kind."

LAURA: Oh really?

SAM: What might they like?

MATT: "Well, let's just say, I have the finest
brewery in the city."

LAURA: Oh!

MATT: "I have some fine, very rare, very exotic
drinks that I could, perchance, sell to you."

LIAM: Pay the dwarf.

LAURA: How much for this exotic ale?

MATT: "How exotic you wanting?"

LAURA: We want to get in the door. We want him to
like us.

MATT: "I can give you the finest of thistle
branch, dark blood wine. This was crafted by

"myself, from a rare bloodthistle branch that I had
brought over from the far-off city of Kamordah.

"This, I personally oversaw. It took me four years
to fill this barrel full. It'll cost you 500 gold

"pieces. But it is a king's red wine!"

MARISHA: Can I do a persuasion check-- a
perception check to see if he's lying?

MATT: This would be insight. Go ahead and roll
insight.

TALIESIN: I'm going to go walk over to Grog really
quickly.

MARISHA: 27.

MATT: He seems too drunk to lie.

SAM: Let's just do it.

LAURA: Tell you what, Balgus. We have some very
rare items with us that I think you might be

interested in.

MATT: "Make it quick! You've got one minute."

LAURA: We've got one minute? Well, we've got--

MATT: "My time is far worth the 500 gold you've
already been talking about."

LAURA: We've got this with us right now.

TRAVIS: We've got a bunch of dragon pieces.

ORION: Do you like dragon pieces?

TRAVIS: We've got 37 dragon teeth, one dragon eye,
four cups of dragon blood--

LAURA: We've got this cup of dragon blood! Which I
know can be added to ale or wine and makes it

quite sensational.

MATT: He takes the sealed cup and sloshes it
around in his hand. The actual liquid is

coagulated to such a point that it's less of a
blood and more of a gelatin. (sloshing sounds)

TRAVIS: It gets better with age.

LAURA: Exactly, a spoon of it!

MATT: He peeks it open and (sniffs). "Yes!"

LAURA: I think that's really expensive, actually.

MATT: "I can have this appraised, but if you want
to do a straight trade for the barrel for this,

"I'll take you up on that."

LAURA: Shit, no.

SAM: Just go for it.

LAURA: All right, fine! One cup of it.

MATT: "All right." He takes the cup, puts it in a
small satchel on his side. "Adra!" "Aye, what do

"you want, you drunken bastard?" "They've bought me
thistle blood wine. Take it out back. Here's the

"key." He tosses her the key. She grabs it and
goes, "Really? Ooh, just walked in, they're buying

"fancy." She comes back with two of her barmaiders
who are begrudgingly carrying it with her. It's a

nice barrel. It has a gold trim. The actual bands
that hold the wood together is gold. The branding

on the side is gold leafed into the wood. It's
fine, exquisite, we're talking top shelf

BevMo-style, awesome dwarven wine.

MARISHA: Top shelf at BevMo!

MATT: He pats it and he goes, "All yours. If this
doesn't get you in the door, I'll eat my shoe."

TRAVIS: Have you ever done that?

MATT: "Maybe, I forget a lot of nights."

SAM: Where might that door be?

MATT: "Minute's up, you'll have to ask around, but
it was great doing business with you." He walks

away from the table.

TRAVIS: I put it in the bag of holding.

MATT: It does not fit in the bag of holding.

LAURA and TRAVIS: What?!

MATT: The barrel is too big, you barely got Dork
the ox in there. Which, for the record, they did

fit a small ox in the bag of holding and then
realized later on that there was no airflow.

TRAVIS: He came out!

TALIESIN: I feel like we weren't going to discuss
that. I felt that that was in the past.

MATT: I felt that was a necessary story.

SAM: Maybe if we drank some of it it would fit.

LAURA: The troll dick. Is that still in there or
no?

TRAVIS: No, we actually got rid of the troll
dick.

LAURA: Oh, okay.

TALIESIN: Did we trade the troll dick for
something?

MARISHA: I thought we like used it as a weapon.

TRAVIS: I offered it up, but by that time it had
turned into a slimy--

LAURA: Ew.

MARISHA: I thought we threw it at somebody.

LAURA: Can I stop Adra then and ask her where
Greyspine Manor is? Keep, manor, whatever.

MATT: "Ah, well I can have him do it." She pokes
one of the barmaiders who turns around. This one's

younger, he looks like he's frazzled and maybe new
here or at least trying to make his way. He goes,

"Okay, I can show you around, just follow me
outside, come follow me." He walks out. He's got a

little apron on. He leads you guys outside. He
brings you to the edge of the outer walkway of the

central ring you're on. He points across the way
and what you can see is a series of marble pillars

that outline a residential district that opens and
consumes the other side of the central ring of

Kraghammer. He says, "If you go past far in that
way, you'll look for the house of Greyspine. It's

"the one that has dark black marble with gold
tinting inside the spiralling vein of the marble,

"it's gold. The gate outside is wrought iron, black
iron, that's topped with a series of pikes and--"

Pike awkwardly looks sickened, not
understanding. "The real key point is, if you look

"on the front yard, you'll see a dwarven statue of
the current ironkeeper himself. That's where

"you'll want to go."

SAM: Yes, very helpful, young man.

LAURA: Thank you so much.

MATT: "Of course. If you get the chance, you could
fill out a little form saying how helpful I've been--"

SAM: Are there suggestion cards here?

MARISHA: Oh, absolutely.

MATT: "Here." He pulls out a small parchment and
hands it to you. It's handwritten with a couple of checkboxes.

ORION: You should give us all a copy so you will
have multiple.

MATT: "I only have one."

ORION: Oh, okay, that's fine.

MATT: "Sorry!"

SAM: Confidence needs improvement.

LAURA: Oh, it's okay, we have a wonderful writer.

TALIESIN: I'll rustle up a few. That's fine, why
not. It's what I do, apparently.

MATT: He runs back into the tavern.

SAM: All right, shall we go to the manor?

LAURA: Do we want to do the manor right now? What
time is it?

SAM: 5:00 or 6:00.

TRAVIS: We got to sleep.

LAURA: We might not want to bug him when he's, you
know, having dinner.

TRAVIS: Let's be honest, that gate's going to jack
us up. It's going to be full of trouble.

SAM: All right, yes, let's go sleep.

TRAVIS: Let's sleep.

LAURA: Well, it's only 6:00.

SAM: Well, then we have time to do other things.

ORION: How long is a short rest?

MATT: Short rest is around ten minutes or so.

ORION: I want to take short rest.

MATT: You've technically been short resting in the
tavern. It's more of like a post battle-- like,

take a breather,

bandage your wounds, settle yourself after a
harrowing experience. That's what a short rest is.

ORION: What was the arcane magic, the manor?

MATT: Oh, what you're looking for is the House
Thunderbrand.

ORION: I want to head in that direction.

MATT: Okay, so you're dividing from the party?
Okay.

ORION: Oh, I'm going to House Thunderbrand, if
anybody wants to come with me.

LAURA: What are you doing? I can't understand you
with that popcorn in your mouth.

ORION: Sorry! I'm going to House Thunderbrand
before turning in this evening. I've had a nice

little short rest and I would like to ask them a
few questions.

LAURA: All right.

TRAVIS: Yeah, go ahead, okay.

SAM: Is there any recon that's going to happen
tonight?

LAURA: I think that you and I are going to go to
Greyspine?

LIAM: We'll check out the house.

SAM: Do you need any help?

LIAM: Sure, you can come with us.

SAM: No, I don't want you to say yes.

LAURA: Then no, we'll stealth our way.

LIAM: Just a moment. Pike, you seem very distant.
It's very strange, are you all right?

LAURA: Pike's not listening, she's looking at the
chat room.

SAM: She's feeling ill. Does she need to lie
down?

MATT: Pike is feeling, and for those of you who
are curious in the chat room, once again, elements

of this are house ruled, so don't complain.

LAURA: Oh, players.

MATT: We keep short rest to ten minutes because it
makes it move faster. Pike is going along, she

seems to be a little distracted, she can't quite
understand. She says, "I don't know, I feel like

"I've been here before. It's hard to explain."

TRAVIS: What?

MATT: "Anyway, I'm probably going to go rest for
the evening." She heads back to the tavern.

TRAVIS: The fuck does that mean?

SAM: We'll find out next week.

TRAVIS: But first, whores in the bedroom!

LAURA: Lovely.

SAM: Grog and I go in search of a, shall we say
politely, whorehouse.

MATT: The polite term.

LIAM: Well, the cleric's away, the bard shall
play.

TRAVIS: We need a massage. On my crotch.

LAURA: You and I stealth.

MATT: You guys make your way to the Greyspine
Manor, you guys head for that, you head to Thunderbrand.

SAM: Is Grog going to find someone his size?

MARISHA: Percy and I spend some time making some
really nice comment cards for--

TALIESIN: We're going to make some beautiful
comment cards.

MARISHA: For what's his name?

MATT: His name is Balan.

ALL: Balan.

MARISHA: We're going to make some wonderful
comment cards for Balan.

LIAM: Oh, Percy is wonderful with calligraphy;
you've shown me.

TALIESIN: Yes, thank you.

MATT: Okay, so you'll get to that. You guys do
manage to find what's called The Stone's Pillow.

TRAVIS: The Stone's Pillow?

MATT: The Stone's Pillow.

TRAVIS: I love it.

MATT: It's an establishment of comfort and ease,
and will run you both for the evening, as you are

not Kraghammer locals, 30 gold for the night
each.

TRAVIS: A bargain.

SAM: We'll take it.

LAURA: 30 gold?!

SAM: What sort of ladies will we find there?

LAURA: Bearded ladies.

SAM: What species?

MATT: The madam of the house introduces you to a
spectrum of ladies, mostly dwarven, and very

attractive, you know. This is a nice
establishment. There is one gnome. One female

gnome. There are a number of male dwarves as well,
that are standing at the ready. There is one elf,

looks a little shy and embarrassed that a goliath
walked in.

SAM: And that's our choice.

MATT: Those are your choices.

TRAVIS: I'll take the tallest one.

SAM: I'll take a dwarf.

MATT: Okay. You choose your lady, you take the
tallest one which would probably be the elf. As

you walk in, the shy elf turns around entirely.
She is aggressive and throws you around. You got

your money's worth. You get manhandled in a way
that you haven't-- You're going to be sore in the morning.

TRAVIS: Thank you!

MATT: Welcome to Kraghammer, gentlemen.

TRAVIS: I like it already.

MATT: All right, you guys.

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: Are you just walking up to the manor?

LAURA: No, we're going to try to check out what it
looks like. See what the guards are like.

LIAM: Yeah, we'll pretend to take a stroll.

LAURA: Yes.

LIAM: Pose as a married couple.

LAURA: Ew, no.

LIAM: Just for the purposes of sneaking around the
house.

LAURA: (retching)

LIAM: I want to see what the area's like.

LAURA: How about we pose as brother and sister,
creepy?

(laughter)

LIAM: You come on to every human, orc, and
half-elf in the entire kingdom, but pretending to

be my wife for 30 minutes is too much.

LAURA: Yes. It's disgusting, so no.

LIAM: You're probably right.

MATT: She's got standards.

LIAM: Okay. So we'll take a stroll. Shop, see what
the area's like.

MATT: You enter the residential district. It is
dark and you see the red stone that permeates the

area for a low gentle glow of the entire city is
now clustered into these street lamps that are

throughout the entire location. You begin to press
into the residential district proper. There's some

nice homes that are carved into the side of the
rock, there's some stand-alone homes that are

built out of fine stone. You eventually make your
way towards the nicer part of it, where you start

seeing some of the more marble buildings, some of
the more exotic stonework being used in the

construction of the homes. You also notice three
of the guards that are part of the city

establishment there are following you from behind,
curiously. The Carvers.

LAURA: Oh shit, the Carvers. Shit.

MATT: No weapons drawn, but definitely hands at
the ready.

LAURA and LIAM: Okay.

LIAM: Well, we could just keep walking.

LAURA: We could, but that could be bad.

LIAM: Yes. No, we just want to look at the house.

SAM: Louder!

LIAM: I mean we're not going to go sneaking in in
the day.

LAURA: Let's say which ones are very obvious about
being pretty, so we look like we're just sightseeing.

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: (chuckles darkly) As you continue to walk,
eventually some of the dwarves approach.

LAURA: I point and say: Oh! Look at that one, with
the carving, it's amazing!

LIAM: The architecture is divine.

LAURA: Divine!

SAM: (snorts) They're posing as the Howells?

LIAM: Lovey, would you look at this dwarven home?

MATT: (snobby voice) The marble texture on this is gorgeous.
You get about 20 more feet before you get, "Hail! Hail!"

LAURA: Oh my! Yes? (giggles)

MATT: "You foreigners are wandering too far in
districts you don't belong to. What's your business?"

LAURA: Oh I'm so sorry, I was just so amazed by
the architecture here. I wanted to see the

beautiful sculpture.

LIAM: We definitely are visitors here, sir, no one
has explained the rules to your city. We were just

taking in the fantastic architecture and history
of Kraghammer.

LAURA: We were told there was a beautiful
sculpture down the street of the ruler of Kraghammer?

MATT: Make a persuasion roll.

SAM: Oh jesus.

TRAVIS: Oh god.

MATT: Either of you, whichever you prefer.

SAM: If only I was there.

LAURA: 21.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Wow! Pretty decent, good for you.

MATT: The guards look at each other. The one that
was talking to you, you can see now, as he comes a

little closer into the light, a frazzled black
beard that's pulled into a very tight braid that

goes down to his bellybutton. All wearing the same
basic chest plate; long, black velvet cloak

behind; each carrying some sort of heavy warhammer
around the side of their belt. Steps up and says,

"Well, just to tell you the rules here, if you're
going to wander at night in a very expensive

"district, you don't want to do it by yourself
because you either have chances of being mugged or

"arrested. We might have arrested you."

LAURA: Oh no! I'm so sorry! Well, do we need
protection?

MATT: One of them looks over and sees the bear
that is off in the shadows nearby.

LAURA: I thought Trinket stayed behind. Cool,
cool!

MATT: Trinket's quietly trying to keep up with his
wonderful master.

LIAM: Come along Trinket, there there's nothing to
be scared of.

MATT: "What's a bear doing in Kraghammer?!" They
all grab out their warhammers.

LAURA: Oh no, please, he's quite harmless. In
fact, he's very scared of most people.

LIAM: He's completely trained. He does tricks.
Doesn't he do tricks?

LAURA: He does. Trinket show them your wonderful
shake trick.

MATT: At which point Trinket, (subdued growling)
just shakes his whole body. He looks at you, confused.

LAURA: That's good.

MATT: Then raises a paw up, and-- (bear noises)

LAURA: If you put your hand out, he'll shake your
hand.

MATT: (growling)

LAURA: Yeah, see!

MATT: The dwarves take a step back as the claw
goes through the, "That's all right. I would say

"if that's your animal--"

LAURA: Yes?

MATT: "--don't bring it here."

LAURA: Oh, good to know. Trinket, head back to
that tavern, would you? People are getting nervous.

MATT: (growling)

LAURA: I love you.

MATT: Trinket begins to walk back. A couple of
other dwarves that are wandering carrying some

packages to the side make a very wide berth around
this armored bear that's slowly moping its way

through the streets of Kraghammer. What could
possibly go wrong?

LAURA: He's so cute.

LIAM: He's a sweetheart, he's fine.

MATT: (growls) You hear in the distance. The one
goes like, "Look, I'll show you to the statue and

"that's it, then you got to go."

LAURA: All right. Thank you.

MATT: "I don't see many half-elves here and
honestly I'm excited to meet you, so let's do this

"quickly. Come with me." He leads you further into
the cityscape. Down the road, you end up going

through a few buildings. You find one large
wrought iron fence with a series of carved spikes

towards the top, and you see the beautiful dark
marble building with the gold trim.

LAURA: Oh, this one's amazing.

MATT: "This is what you were talking about,
Greyspine Manor. Lot of rich sons of bitches."

LAURA: Wow, so you said the Greyspines own this
one?

MATT: "Aye."

LIAM: It's stunning. We only heard about the
building itself; what can you tell us about the

people who live here?

MATT: "Bunch of rich sons of bitches."

LAURA: Well, we can tell that can't we?

MATT: "Actually, Ironkeeper's all right, he's been
doing a great job. The rest of the family can suck off."

LAURA: Oh, really?

LIAM: Not liked by the rest of the city, then?

MATT: "Oh, they have friends everywhere, but I
personally don't like them. They run business

"pretty dark. They work most of their employees to
the ground. To the bone."

LAURA: Oh no!

MATT: "I don't think that's how you run a
business. Well, that's how you run a business for

"profit, but not for--"

LAURA: Wow. It sounds like they would run the
mithral mine which we've heard is so hard on its employees.

MATT: "Aye, that's the one."

LAURA: Oh, really?

MATT: "Yeah. I don't know, I don't go that far
south, doesn't interest me.

LIAM: Nor us.

MATT: "Smells like brimstone."

LAURA: I don't blame you.

LIAM: We prefer the company of good hard working
people, like yourself. We're very impressed with

the work the Carvers do in this city, from what
little we've seen so far, so hats off to you.

MATT: "I appreciate that. You know it's not easy.
You're born into it. We spend most of our time

"training, which can get very boring." You see that
two of the dwarves that are now about two steps

behind go, "(clears throat) All right, Thompson!
We got to get back to our post!" "Oh, sorry. Look,

"we've dillied about too much. Just follow us back,
go about your business, don't wander here at

"night, and good luck."

LAURA: Thank you so much.

LIAM: Thank you. We follow for a couple of blocks,
behind them for a bit.

LAURA: Make sure that they're paying attention to
us.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: All right. They bring you back towards the
entrance of the residential district.

LAURA: Then we stealth and--

LIAM: -- split off, yes, we can split off.

MATT: All right, roll stealth, both of you guys.

SAM: Am I currently being beaten by a whore dwarf
or anything?

MATT: Make a constitution check!

SAM: Constitution check?

TRAVIS: Hang strong, buddy!

ORION: That's a mouthful. 'Whore dwarf.'

SAM: 18!

MATT: Plus your constitution modifier. Actually,
athletics! Go athletics!

SAM: Plus two! 20.

MATT: All right, that's a fine constitution check.
You have impressed your female dwarf.

LIAM: Are you making a sex check?

SAM: Yes! I'm sex checking.

TALIESIN: Whore dwarf!

MATT: That happened. That's the first time.

SAM: (grunting)

LAURA: This is so uncomfortable.

MATT: So that happened. What'd you guys roll for
stealth?

LIAM: 20.

LAURA: He rolled a 20, I rolled a 15.

TRAVIS: That's okay!

MATT: As you guys begin to wander off--

LAURA: No! They're professional Carvers.

MATT: -- Vax, you vanish. Vex, you take a couple
steps. You hear, "Hey, hey, hey! I told you, it's

"dangerous down there in the dark! Don't do that!"

LAURA: Of course!

MATT: "Where's your friend?"

LAURA: Oh, he already went back to the tavern that
we're staying at. I was wondering if maybe you

could show me around the rest of the town?

MATT: He looks to the other guards and they're
obviously fed up with his flirting, and they're

not too keen on you guys. "Well, you guys hold up
post, I'll give her a quick walk around."

LAURA: Thank you so much.

MATT: "All right, but I'm going to tell the boss!"
"Fine! I don't get this chance very often!"

LIAM: I wave off from the alley that I snuck in
to.

LAURA: Yeah, go do your shit.

LIAM: You do your shit, that you do! Then I head
back through the shadows.

LAURA: Whoosh! Damn it!

MATT: You ask around, and it takes a while,
especially since as a dragonborn some folks are

like, "Oh, I'm not talking to you!" Some others
are like, "Oh, yeah, right over that way!" It's a

completely wrong direction, so it takes you a good
two hours to eventually find your way to House

Thunderbrand. When you get there, it's a beautiful
alabaster building: large, white dome, with small

spires built in to one of the more elevated
ceilings of Kraghammer proper. On the outside,

there is no gate, just an open lawn. You see
grass, you see normally outside flora and fauna

currently adorning the scape around this
structure.

ORION: Whoa. Well, this is a lovely sight! I'm
going to saunter on up to the door!

MATT: Nice! Go ahead and make a perception check.

ORION: Where is my perception--? Oh. Five.

MATT: Five? You saunter right up to the edge of
the grass line, and get one step on what suddenly

becomes visible to you: a rather subtly carved
dwarven rune in the ground. In fact, there's a

bunch of them, outlining the entirety of the
grass. As your foot hits the rune, you're like,

"Oh, that's a dwarven rune!" (stomping)

SAM: That's a good voice!

MATT: (as Tiberius) I've been practicing my
Tiberius.

ORION: It's close.

MATT: Go ahead and roll a dexterity saving throw.

TRAVIS: Uh-oh. Saving throw?

LAURA: You got it, Tiberius!

ORION: What is this?

MARISHA: Dexterity.

ORION: Oh! That's a 15.

MATT: 15?

ORION: Mm-hmm.

MATT: You manage to pull back to lessen the
impact, but a bolt of bluish energy bursts out

from the rune in front of you, throwing you about
three or four feet behind the rune. You catch

yourself. You do suffer eight points of thunder
damage.

ORION: Okay.

MARISHA: Damn gated communities.

SAM: This is why we go to brothels instead of
sneaking around at night!

TRAVIS: Yep! No lightning attacks!

MATT: It's a whole different kind of damage you
can suffer!

ORION: Okay. Well, I dust myself off. Apparently,
there's some security. Hello?! Anything happen?

MATT: You wait about two or three minutes, no
response.

ORION: Two to three minutes? That's a long time.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: I have a feeling they're not going to
respond to the crazy guy.

ORION: Very well.

TRAVIS: What're you two doing?

TALIESIN and MARISHA: We're making comment cards!
Yes!

TALIESIN: You're all going to have comment cards
that you are expected to fill out when you return

back to the bar!

SAM: Hugely important!

MARISHA: Yes, because-- what was it? Baldus,
Beldus?

SAM: Balgus?

MARISHA: Balan! Balan was so nice!

MATT: There we go. Balgus and Balan.

ORION: What do I see around the place? Do I see
any large rocks, or any large pillars that I can--?

MATT: Best from what you can tell at this
distance, because it's fairly dark down here: the

building itself has four corner spires around the
large central dome structure. Each one of these

spires is a very thin, tall, alabaster spire that
at the very top is crested with some sort of

bluish crystal that comes to a point. They're
probably a good 35, 40 feet tall. About as tall as

the rest of the structure is. You can't really
tell how far back the structure goes because it

meets with the back of the cave wall.

ORION: I'm going to-- okay. I'm going to shoot a
Fireball. Right in front of me, roll it like a

bowling ball. Just right to the door.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: There's a baby right there.

MATT: You are four feet from the door.

ORION: Oh! I'm four feet from the door? I don't do
that.

MATT: You can step back and do it.

ORION: I'm only four feet from the door? Oh.

MATT: It pushed you back four feet from the rune
you stepped on. You're not at the door.

LAURA: Can I use that magical earring that we
have?

LIAM: You don't know what's going on there!

SAM: Episode one. Tiberius kills himself.

MARISHA: Don't die! I should have come with you!
Then I could--

TRAVIS: Bowl that Fireball, dude!

MATT: Tiberius Stormwind is a dragonborn sorcerer.
Everyone is level nine currently in the game.

ORION: I use Mage Hand. I knock on the door.

MATT: From that far away? Okay, the arcane energy
swirls up and forms this loosely hand-like

appendage that drifts forward. As soon as it
crosses over the rune where you stepped on, there

is a spark of energy and the hand is dispelled.

ORION: Damn these runes. Okay, fine. I will do
Glacial Blast right up to the door.

MATT: Okay.

ORION: But not to the door.

MARISHA: What?

SAM: You're alone.

MATT: Okay. You cast the Glacial Blast forward.
The ice begins to congeal across the bottom of the floor.

As it reaches the front of the rune, there is
another spark of energy and the ice forms up

against an invisible barrier that's there and then
the ice that's up against the barrier melts

extremely quickly, drifting into a puddle of
water.

ORION: Shit. I turn back and head to the group.

MATT: Okay. As you turn around there are four
Carvers that are hurrying towards you now, with

their hammers out going, "You!"

ORION: What?!

MATT: They all surround you on all sides, you have
a dwarf on each corner. "You have attacked one of

"the great dwarven families of Kraghammer! Name
yourself and your business before you are under arrest."

ORION: Don't speak to me in that manner, I am
Tiberius Stormwind!

SAM: I am snoring after having sex.

MATT: Make intimidation check.

ORION: 18.

MATT: All four Carvers take a step back, look at
each other. "Look, we're just doing our job.

"What's your business?"

ORION: I understand that, and I am sorry for
losing my temper. I was just looking to ask

questions of particular artifacts I have been
looking for and this house is the only known

arcane house I know that I was pointed to. I tried
to reach them and communicate, but I was stopped

by the stupid rune I can't figure out! I was
turning back to get my tavern to get some rest and

come back and try to contact the family the next
day! Then I was stopped by you!

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

ORION: 24.

LIAM: I've just arrived to New York City, I'm
going to smash the doors open.

MATT: The dwarf guards look at each other and one
of them steps forward and this guy you can see now

he has more carvings in his armor, he looks to
have a little more rank than the other ones. He

steps forward, ruddy brown beard, his eyes itself
are pitch black. There is almost no color to the

irises. He goes, "Look. I'm letting you off this
once, but if you so much as spit in the direction

"of any other dwarf in the city, we're going to
bury you so far underneath the dungeon you won't

"see the light of day 'til the day you rot, you
hear me, dragonborn?"

ORION: I mean yes, my hearing is perfectly fine.

MATT: "Get on with you." He puts his hammer back
at his side. They all separate, stare you down as

you walk past.

ORION: Good day. Back to the tavern.

MATT: Okay. You!

LIAM: Yes?

MATT: You make your way through the alleyways,
eventually back towards the building proper. What

would you like to do?

LIAM: Just going to watch, that's all. Do I see
any security details? See who's guarding the place.

MATT: There are Carvers doing rounds around the
city. On the streets wandering through in pairs,

keeping watch. You don't see any particular guard
outside, but you do see individuals moving past

windows. There's a little bit of light from the
inside of the buildings.

LIAM: No Carvers or any sort of guard detail
outside the house? Anything like that?

MATT: Not between the gates. The yard area and to
the front door.

LIAM: Okay. Heavily heavily guarded by the looks
of what's inside and what's outside the gate?

MATT: What's outside the gate? You're hard pressed
to find a moment where the street isn't visible to

some Carver. This area is pretty well guarded. You
figure largely because the person who is currently

the Ironkeeper of the entire city of Kraghammer
lives within that building as well as one of the

more powerful dwarven families,
so it's pretty well watched.

LIAM: Okay, I'm going to head back to the inn,
then. I'm not going to poke the bear.

MATT: You all eventually gather back at the
tavern.

SAM: (exhausted sigh) How was your night?

TRAVIS: That was wonderful, I don't know about
you!

SAM: (singsong) I have hickies.

(laughter)

LIAM: Hickies? Is that a Gnomish STD?

SAM: Yes.

LAURA: Crazy! I have some hickies too, actually.
What?

SAM: What?

TALIESIN: We have comment cards, so this will all
work out well.

MARISHA: Yes! here! Here you go, here you go--

SAM: Success all around! Did you learn anything,
Vex and Vax?

LIAM: I definitely think we should take the
diplomacy route. The place is heavily guarded.

There seem to be lots of Carvers.

MATT: There's a knock at the room that you guys
are currently talking in.

LAURA: Yes?

MATT: Unless, are you in the tavern proper or have
you gone back to-- ?

LAURA: No, we're in a room.

SAM: I'll get it! (clears throat) Hello?

MATT: Adra's standing there looking a little
nervous and she goes, "Hi, sorry to bother you. Is

"that bear one of yours?"

SAM: Oh!

LAURA: Yes! Trinket! Isn't he adorable?

MATT: "You might want to go," You hear in the
tavern: (aggravated growls)

LAURA: I'll be right back. I head downstairs.

MATT: You head downstairs and you can see all the
dwarves are now gathered around the fighting ring

in the center of the tavern.

LAURA: Oh no!

MATT: Trinket's now inside the ring with a couple
other dwarves around, prodding and pushing it into

the ring.

LAURA: No, no! No! No.

MATT: There's raucous cheering. They're not even
listening to you at this point.

LAURA: Grog!

LIAM: I followed my sister downstairs.

TRAVIS: I come down too. It's party time!

MARISHA: I run down to with Grog.

MATT: Okay, as you guys head down, you can see now
Balgus is now up and rubbing his chin. "Oh, never

"fought a bear before! (laughs)"

LAURA: No, Balgus! Fuck! Trinket, come here! Are
we allowed to cuss? Trinket, come here!

MATT: You are very much allowed to cuss.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Isn't that right, guys? Fuck yeah!

LAURA: No, no, and I run into the ring with him.

MATT: Okay, as you run into the ring a couple of
the dwarves pat you on the back, you get a shove

into the ring. It's now Trinket and you--

LAURA: Oh! I'll take on this bear!

(laughter)

SAM: What?!

TALIESIN: Well, all right!

MATT: Make a general charisma check.

TRAVIS: Do it! Fuck that bear up!

LIAM: I'm pushing my way through the crowd.

LAURA: Oh no!

MATT: What did you roll?

LIAM: A one.

MARISHA: Oh no!

MATT: Yes!

LIAM: First one of the series, everybody! First
one!

MATT: As you rush and you guys are coming to the
front, Balgus sees this and now you can see

both eyes are open which means he's sobered up a
bit, and he goes, "Oh no! This bear's mine. You

"want to fight two of us? Oh, it'll wake you right
up!"

LAURA: Let's do it!

MATT: "Nothing as invigorating as as a brawl!"

SAM: Are you going to fucking fight him?

MARISHA: I cast a fog. Over the ring.

MATT: Okay. As everyone is cheering up and getting
ready, this very thick fog begins to fill the

center of the bar area. You can now see a bunch of
people are, "Wait, what the?!" Some are coughing.

Some are like, "What the hell's going on? Fucking
hell. Why is there--"

MARISHA: Okay, I run up in the fog, and I tap
Trinket and I whisper in Trinket's ear and I say:

Trinket, I'm tapping you out. And I turn into a
bear like Trinket!

SAM: What?!

TRAVIS: Good!

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Wait. First, I Polymorph Trinket into a
squirrel.

LAURA: (gasp) You can do that?

MARISHA: I can. No, a mouse, like a rat.

LAURA: Little tiny.

MATT: Okay. You see the shadows nearby the fog you
hear, "Come at me, I'm going to--" You can see

Balgus's shadow swinging wildly at the air,
angrily.

SAM: Are you going to fight him?

LAURA: I don't know!

MATT: You grab Trinket. Trinket shrinks down into
a tiny little mouse.

MARISHA: I say: Scanlan! Catch Trinket!

SAM: Jesus, I don't like rats, but I'll keep it.
Okay.

MATT: Trinket, the little mouse face, the moment
you see it, looks very confused, very scared.

SAM: It's okay. I'll protect it. Don't worry.

MARISHA: Then I bear form up.

MATT: You (whoosh) into a bear form. Now Keyleth
is now this giant bear where Trinket once was.

TRAVIS: I got my money on Ballsack!

SAM: Don't bet against the enemy!

LIAM: In the fog I somersault over some random
dwarf and pull out my dagger, but turn it around

in my hand and whack Balgus in the back of the
head as hard as I can, just to try and knock him out.

LAURA: Can you see in fog?

SAM: He's a really good fighter.

LIAM: Low light.

MATT: Go ahead and make a stealth check.

LAURA: What?!

MATT: You have advantage because you are in fog.

ORION: I'm at the balcony by the way. Watching all
this.

LAURA: You have advantage, roll twice.

LIAM: Oh, thank you.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we're watching what they're doing.

SAM: Remember, he's our friend. We don't want to
kill him.

ORION: I'm taking a short rest, you all can do
this.

LIAM: 21.

MATT: Okay. Balgus's drunken, mist covered state
does not seem to notice your approach. He is

swinging wildly, though. He has disadvantaged
attack on you as you approach. One of his fists

swings past you. That is going to be a 12, I don't
think that hits.

LIAM: No.

MATT: You just narrowly dodge out of the way. You
can feel the fist just whoosh past one of your

ears. As you come back up, clutching the base of
your dagger, go for your strike.

LAURA: Oh my gosh!

TRAVIS: Come on taint butter, you got it.

LIAM: Oh, that's no good. Oh, I have advantage on
the attack roll for this?

MATT: Because he does not see you, yes. You are
currently stealthed.

LIAM: That's much better. 26!

TRAVIS: That'll work.

MATT: That'll hit. Go ahead and roll sneak attack
damage on this, of course.

LIAM: Plus regular?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Don't kill him!

MATT: Well, we're considering it nonlethal damage
because it's with the base of the dagger.

ORION: I'm having an ale while watching all this.

MATT: You're watching a lot of fog, with some
shapes moving in it.

ORION: Yeah, and I'm like: This is fog! Probably
Keyleth's spell.

LAURA: I'm blindly looking for Trinket.

SAM: Trinket's in my hands.

MATT: You're like, "Where's Trinket?" You see a
giant bear there and you're like, "There's

"Trinket! That's not Trinket. There's no armor."

MARISHA: Oh, that's right.

MATT: You're very confused. Trinket now has no
armor, is a slightly different shade--

MARISHA: No, he's close enough! Man, come on, I've
been around Trinket enough.

ORION and MARISHA: Come on, man!

LIAM: 27, right in the base of his skull.

SAM: Jesus.

MATT: Crack! A resounding impact hits and there
now dwarves that are like, "Yeah! Ooh!" All the

cheering stops and there's this lull. Quiet hits.
Balgus hasn't moved, by the way. You impact and

it's like hitting a wall. There's this taut,
thick stump of muscle where the dwarf neck is.

LIAM: Fuck!

MATT: As you pull back the dagger, his hand
reaches up and grabs your wrist. His head slowly

turns towards you and he goes, (laughs)

LIAM: Bonus action to disengage. Disengage as a
rogue.

MATT: Well he's going to attempt to grapple you.

LAURA and LIAM: Oh no.

MATT: Go ahead and make an acrobatics check; it's
probably your best score anyway.

LIAM: All right. Oh, that's fine! That's a 30.

MATT: That's a 30?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: You manage to just slip out of his grip.
Barely. He was about to clamp on. As you step

away, he turns towards you and goes, "Oh, well I
feel alive tonight! Bring it, all of you! I want

"to smash a face in." He's got a little bit of ale
froth at the corner of his mouth. It's beginning

to drip into his beard. It's quite an awful sight
for those that are close enough to see it. The

rest of you just see this, shapes and movement.
There's still this, "Okay, what's going on?" kind

of a feel. You hear Adra in the back going, "Stop
this! This is-- I can't even see! What are you

doing?! Don't destroy another table!" She's
frantically trying to stop this chaos. There's now

a bear-- what are you doing, Keyleth?

MARISHA: I'm a bear and--

MATT: You're a bear.

ORION: (like Marisha) I'm a bear.

MARISHA: What happened?

MATT: You're a bear, you want to do anything?

LAURA: What are you doing?

MATT: You see the shape of Balgus like-- in the
middle of this fight ring.

LAURA: Do some tricks! Do some tricks! Start
clapping and, like, dancing around.

MARISHA: Okay, that's a good idea.

MATT: This is what she tells you.

MARISHA: I see her as my trainer.

LAURA: Dance!

MARISHA: I'm like (growling). I'm circus
bear-ing.

LAURA: Everyone! Gather round and watch the
amazing Trinket do his tricks!

SAM: I start playing music from my shawm
instrument. Which exists.

MATT: Yeah, it does.

SAM: A rousing jaunty bear-like tune.

LAURA: Yes!

ORION: I'm going to cast Prestidigitation and do
fireworks on top of that.

MARISHA: You should give me a fez! Can you
Prestidigitation me a fez?

ORION: Can I do little hats?

MATT: You haven't done a fez yet. You need to work
on that. A couple more levels.

ORION: No. I'll try. Paper hat!

MATT: Have you ever seen fireworks go off in a
cloud? You get that little boof, boof. There's a

bunch of that above you. Cloud, lights flashing.
You begin singing your tune. Do you give an

inspiration dice to her?

SAM: Sure, I would love to give her an inspiration
dice.

MATT: A d8 inspiration dice from the bard as you
hear the enchanting, jaunty, bear dancing theme.

SAM: (singing) Oh, look over there! It's a bear!
Yeah!

MATT: Bard getting his bard on.
Go ahead and make a performance check.

SAM: Who, me?

MATT: No, she does. You're performing as a bear!

MARISHA: Natural 20!

(cheering)

MATT: Do you want to add performance dice?

LIAM: Look at that, a fucking bear dance.

MATT: I'm sorry, the inspiration dice that he gave
you.

SAM: No! It's a natural 20!

MARISHA: It's a natural 20!

MATT: I know. Okay!

MARISHA: No, I want to save it! I'm inspired, for
later. I will think back to that moment.

MATT: You were so inspired, you weren't even
inspired to be inspired for this.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: This array of strange puffy fireworks in the
fog; you doing this little rotation. You actually

manage to do a bear cartwheel, and slam into the
ring, but it looks pretty cool. You get back up.

You're on your hind legs, you dance on one foot
for a second. Balgus is like, (raucous laughter).

He starts laughing, doubles over, clutching his
stomach, laughing his ass off. Other dwarves start

laughing too. The music gets louder and the band
in the back of the tavern begins playing again.

There's now this general jovial air restored to
the tavern.

LAURA: I grab an empty cup off of the table and
say: Tips for the bear, right here!

SAM: We're going to get money for this?

TRAVIS: Of course.

LIAM: I beeline to the bar and say: A large mug of
ale, please. As soon as it's ready, bring it right

over to Balgus.

MATT: You guys are pulling through a crowd,
covered in mist still. You're having a hard time

finding your way through the bar. The people are
at least now cheering, in the mood. There's still

some people trying to find their way to the front
to see what's going because they hear the music

and they hear the cheering. "Well, what's going on
over there?" They're pushing their way through.

You make your way to the bar. You see Adra's
really nervous, like, (panicked sounds)

LIAM: I can fix this!

MATT: "How? Do! Go!"

LIAM: Quickly?

MATT: "Here, go!" She hands you one, doesn't even
charge you for it.

MARISHA: I'm still dancing!

LIAM: Looking for Balgus in the crowd.

MATT: He's still in the center of the ring. No
one's still getting near Balgus. They're cheering

off to the side. Balgus is laughing. "Ooh, growl
for me! Do a happy growl!"

MARISHA: (growls)

MATT: "Yeah, there's a happy growl! Oh, it's been
so long since I've been outside!" A little tear on

the edge of his face. As you approach up his
side--

LIAM: Arm around his shoulder.

MATT: Immediately, instinctively, he slaps it off
his arm and turns around.

LIAM: Take this! You are an impressive specimen,
my good man. I have never had a fight that amazing

in at least a week. That was something to see.
Here, take this, and after this one there's three more.

MATT: He's drunk, you're offering him ale, and
he's been laughing at a bear for two minutes. Make

a persuasion roll with advantage.

LIAM: Yeah! Persuasion, you say? 15.

MATT: Two rolls, yeah, you have advantage.

LIAM: Oh! 15.

MATT: 15! He looks at you with this big grin, and
you can now see his gnarled, yellow dwarven teeth,

this railroad of terror that his mouth is. This
big smile. He reaches out, his beard poofing over

the side, grabs it and goes, "See, now this is
dwarven hospitality!" He lifts his drink up and it

spills a little bit on his arm. He's like, "Hey!"
Everyone lifts up and cheers again.

(cheering)

MATT: Everyone still keeps drinking through the
fog. It's like a bad sauna in here right now.

Everyone's fighting their way through. At which
point now, Balgus slaps you on the shoulder, takes

a drink, and wanders out of the fight ring, goes
and finds a table to sit down and begin chugging

what you gave him.

SAM: Why don't we adjourn for the evening? Retire
to our rooms?

TRAVIS: Why don't you go change out of bear form?

MARISHA: Yeah, and I guess I can let Trinket
change out of mouse form.

SAM: Why don't you wait until we're upstairs?

LAURA: Can I take the mouse? Can I take Trinket?

SAM: Here, rat-mouse-thing.

LAURA: Okay, hi, Trinket! Oh, is his armor teeny
tiny too?

MARISHA: Oh, does he have a tiny armor mouse?
Mouse armor!

MATT: If you choose, while polymorphing him, you
could make it as a visual aesthetic. Because it

was a quick impact, I would say it looks like a
normal mouse right now. Sorry. Next time!

LAURA: Well you're still adorable little-- don't
poke him.

MATT: (squeaks)

LAURA: I stick him in my little pocket.

LIAM: I grab a half a mug of ale off the table and
say, "Dwarven compatriots, we could not have

"expected a better welcome here in Kraghammer!
We'll see you tomorrow night for round two. Thank

"you, one and all."

ALL: Huzzah!

MATT: (cheering) Balgus goes, "Three more! You
said three more!" You see his empty cup on the table.

TRAVIS: We did say three more.

LAURA: I laugh and hustle her over and say: One,
two, three, put them in a row for this gentleman

right here.

MATT: "Aye! (whispers) Thanks." She gives you like
a really earnest like, "Thank you." You now have a

very good idea of how a good third of the tables
in this tavern are repaired.

TRAVIS: He's tough.

MATT: You guys head back up to the rooms.

TRAVIS: You put some stank on him.

MATT: Yeah, that was like a (vibrating) when you
got the impact on him.

LAURA: Don't fight him, you guys.

SAM: Oh, Grog's going to fight him at some point.

MATT: I get the feeling that's probably going to
go down at some point.

TRAVIS: He's going to be playmates with me.

LIAM: It's just a misunderstanding. I'm sure he's
a lovely gentleman.

MATT: You guys are heading back up to the room.
Which, it's not a hallway built for a bear. Your

shoulders are squeezing through.

LAURA: How big is the room?

MATT: Well, each one of your rooms comfortably
fits two people, maybe. Like, one and a half?

LAURA: Oh no. What will I do with Trinket?

MATT: If you help push Trinket through the door.
Thankfully, dwarves are fairly wide folk, so the

doors are built for stouter folk, they're just not
very tall. You, actually, have to bend through,

Grog, to get into your room. On the bed that you
lie on, your legs dangle a good two feet off the

bottom, at maximum. You can push Trinket through
with a one, two, three! Or you can carry her

through as a mouse, and then have her stuck in
there.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: That's all right. Neither of us need a
blanket now.

LAURA: Well.

MARISHA: How long can I keep her a mouse?

LAURA: Him! Trinket's a boy, all of you, please.

MARISHA: Up to an hour?

MATT: I believe it is, yeah, concentration.

TRAVIS: I mean, are there like stables?

LAURA: You know, yeah. Can I go downstairs and ask
about stables? Maybe he can stay in the stables.

MATT: You have to talk to Adra. She's like,
"There's no stables in this establishment, but we

do have a downstairs storage area your bear can
probably stay in."

TRAVIS: Yeah, he's a bear, he's fine.

LAURA: Trinket, is that okay?

TRAVIS: (as Trinket) Yeah, I'm fine.

LAURA: All right, yeah, he's seems to think it's
all right. Let's go with the storage room. If

there's anything that looks edible, you can eat
it. It's fine.

MATT: "That's not true."

LAURA: Just kidding!

MATT: "I'll charge you later."

MATT: You bring Trinket back down. Do you release
your polymorph?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Trinket becomes a bear again. I'd say the
room's probably a good 40 feet by 30 feet.

LAURA: Oh, so he's fine.

MATT: Half of it's filled with barrels and crates,
and storage of dried foods. Trinket comes in and

(sniffing) and starts rummaging into one of the
half open sacks of dried meat. That's going to be

put on your bill.

LAURA: Shit.

MATT: You head back to your rooms for the evening
to rest.

MARISHA: Take a nap.

MATT: Anything you guys want to do in preparation
for the next day?

SAM: No, let's get it on.

MARISHA: Oh, we should give our comment cards to
Balgus.

TALIESIN: I think we should all turn in our
comment cards.

LAURA: Oh, our comments cards, that's right.

MATT: You turn in your comment cards for Balan.

MARISHA: Balan.

TALIESIN: I can't stress how important this is.

LIAM: Maybe we should-- go ahead, I'm sorry.

TALIESIN: No, no, really, no it's fine, speak over
me, I don't care.

MARISHA: Here, take him the extras.

TALIESIN: We're going to give him a few extras so
he can have more comments.

MARISHA: Yes.

SAM: You guys are so kind with these comment
cards.

LIAM: Perhaps we should all go to bed, and the
humans back in North Hollywood should take a pee

break. At some point.

SAM: The humans?

LIAM: You. You, and you and you and you and me.

MATT: Yes, indeed. Do you want to take a quick
restroom break for the folks here?

SAM: You okay?

MATT: Zac?

ZAC: What's that?

MATT: Folks here might want to use the restroom
real fast.

ZAC: You want me to play the intro videos again?

MATT: You know what, go ahead and play some of the
intro videos and we'll come back here in a minute

to continue the game, while everyone rests, and
empties their bladders. We'll be right back guys.

Hang tight.

SAM: Commercial break.

TRAVIS: Right, listen up! If you have ale, then
you have a friend in Grog Strongjaw! A goliath of

towering height and size, this barbarian has an
appetite for the two great loves in his life:

combat, women, and ale!

[record scratch]

TRAVIS: Wait. Easily the brains of the group, Grog
is often consulted for his vast knowledge of

shapes, colors, and shiny things! Also ale. In his
early years, armed with his two-handed greataxe,

Grog often enjoyed proving his might amongst the
ranks of his family's wandering herd. But after

coming upon an unsuspecting elderly gnome in the
woods, he objected to the killing such an innocent

life. A creature of impulse, Grog felt only pity
for this-- well, this terrified little thing. And

his disobedience cost him dearly. Beaten bloody,
and banished by the herd leader, his Uncle Kevdak,

Grog was abandoned and left to die. Exiled from
his herd, it was then that the relative of the

very gnome he fought to save, saved him. It was
the kindness of a gnome cleric named Pike that

healed Grog, bringing him back from death's edge.
And they have remained close friends ever since.

Most nights, Grog can be found challenging entire
taverns to wrestling matches! Or accompanying

Scanlan to the nearest house where you pay for
lady favors. Also ale!

MARISHA: A first impression of Keyleth would leave
you with little information on the half-elven

druid. You might even think that her social
awkwardness due to her sheltered upbringing is

kind of sweet. Of course, it would be unwise
underestimate her based on first impressions.

[thunder crack]

MARISHA: Under that un-intimidating petite frame
is a vicious beast waiting to be unleashed, whose

natural powers have made even the fiercest of
champions pee their pants, literally! Born to the

Air Tribe of the Ashari people, Keyleth was raised
with a deep love of nature and the elemental

magics. It is her people's inherent duty to
protect the delicate areas in Tal'Dorei where the

four elemental planes begin to bleed with this
realm. Since she was a little girl, she had quite

a knack for air manipulation and beast shaping
abilities. Well, if you consider kittens and

flying squirrels to be little beasts. Which, I do.
Anyways, it wasn't long before the headmaster of

the tribe, her father, Korren, realized her true
prodigious abilities and she was inveterated to

succeed him as the next headmaster. Just like
that, her jovial childhood was stripped and

replaced with endless spell memorization,
teachings from ancient traditions, and exceedingly

high expectations. Every druid leader-to-be must
embark on journey to seek out the sister tribes in

order to introduce and establish respect amongst
the fellow headmasters. They call this the

Aramente, or Noble Odyssey. When her father felt
she was ready, he set her on the path to truly

discovering herself, not knowing when, or if, she
will ever return. As she hiked down the mountain

towards Stilben, she meditated on the task ahead.
Part of the Aramente is proving yourself a strong

warrior, a valiant protector, and a wise and
compassionate leader. With this knowledge, one

thought plays in repeat in her mind: Is she even
worthy?

TALIESIN: Percy was the third child of seven
children, born to a noble family who lived far to

the north in the ancient castle of Whitestone.
With so many siblings to share the burdens of

lordship, Percy turned his attention to the
sciences, engineering, and naturalism. One day, a

mysterious couple, named Lord and Lady Briarwood,
came to court. During a feast held in their honor,

the Briarwoods violently took control of the
castle, killing or imprisoning everyone who would

stand in their way. Percy awoke chained in the
dungeon, only to be freed by his younger sister.

Together they fled, chased by the Briarwoods' men.
As they ran, Percy's sister took several arrows to

the chest and fell. Percy kept running, eventually
jumping into a freezing river and floating

unconscious to freedom. He did not remember waking
up on a fishing boat. He barely remembered the

next two years, as he slowly made his way as far
south as possible. Then one night, Percy had a

dream. A roaring cloud of smoke offered him
vengeance against those who destroyed his family.

When he awoke, Percy began to design his first
gun.

SAM: Oh, you haven't heard of Scanlan Shorthalt?
Well, gird your loins, ladies, because he has his

eye on you. A talented musician, master of
disguise, and dashingly handsome in his own mind,

Scanlan sings songs almost as much as he sings his
own praises. Born a poor gnome, Scanlan used his

endless charm and soaring tenor voice to croon for
coin and support his single mother. One day, he

was discovered by a half-orc promoter, and joined
Dr. Dranzel's Spectacular Traveling Troupe where

he learned the ways of the world, and honed his
skills as a bard extraordinaire. A loner much of

his life, Scanlan has never quite come to terms
with the violent death of his mother at the hands

of a goblin invasion. While his years on the road
provided many, shall we say, educational

experiences with the opposite sex, deep down
Scanlan yearns for the one thing he's never known:

the true love of a fellow gnome. Still, Scanlan
considers himself a lover first, performer second,

and fighter distant third. On the battlefield,
he'll support his allies, but rarely draws blood,

unless it's to protect fellow gnome, Pike. Count
on Scanlan for a hearty laugh, a rollicking song,

and a twinkle in his eye that melts hearts and
makes the females swoon.

ORION: Greetings and salutations, I am Tiberius
Stormwind. I hail from a town called Ty'rex,

located in the heart of Draconia, born from a
politically respected family. At the age of 15, I

succeeded in passing the Sorcerer's Rite, showing
prodigy-like control of my magic. The judges and

the Draconian high council were amazed at how
powerful my spells were for how long I had been

training. At 20 years old, I was the youngest
appointed member of the magic guild in Draconian

history. For the next few years, I almost went mad
from the malaise of being a guild member, as it's

rather boring. However, one day I happened upon a
chamber, unused for quite some time. In the room

were stacks of books and maps of the surrounding
cities and areas around the known world. For

months, I would frequent the chamber, and learned
of artifacts from legend. After a long period of

research, I made a list of artifacts that caught
my eye. I brought these findings to the high

council and was told that all of the information
in the chamber I had stumbled upon was either

believed to be fiction, or unsolvable mysteries,
and hence were lost forever. I found those answers

to be unacceptable. A year later, I devised a ruse
and managed to convince the city council to lend

support in me leaving Draconia on a mission of
peace and diplomacy for the surrounding kingdoms.

Going from town to town and making friends and
allies in and for the name of Draconia. Being a

red dragonborn, I had quite the task on my hands
in that respect, but it was exactly what I needed

so I could explore the world and find these
artifacts, as I felt the truth was out there. Some

may describe me as buffoonish, but I say poppycock
to all that. I am much sharper than most give me

credit for. I just don't pay attention to things
sometimes. I've also been known to be rather

cunning, loyal, happy-go-lucky, and well,
dangerous. I can't help but show my true scales

every now and then. But overall, I think I'm quite
friendly for a dragonborn.

LIAM: Never entirely welcome in the company of
elves or men, Vax'ildan learned at a young age to

skip past formality, preferring instead to invite
himself in your door. Along with twin sister

Vex'ahlia, Vax was born by a chance encounter
between elven royalty and human peasantry. Raised

by their mother in their early years, the twins
were eventually sent off to their father in the

elven capital of Syngorn. But their cool reception
among the elves there never warmed, and their time

in the capital didn't last. The siblings stole
away one autumn night and set out on the open

road. After a few years of wandering, they
eventually decided to return to their mother, and

journeyed back to the lands of their youth. But
instead of finding their childhood home, they

returned to a pile of rubble. Their mother was
gone, their home burned to ash. Pressing the

townspeople for answers, they learned of the day
the dragon came. With their ties all severed,

Vax'ildan and his sister set out to find their
fortune together in Tal'Dorei. An outsider since

birth, Vax quickly learned to solve life's
challenges in his own particular way, often by

sidestepping them entirely. And when his knack for
circumventing adversity isn't enough, the way of

blades the elves schooled him in more than makes
up the difference.

LAURA: Like so many half-elves, Vex'ahlia has
spent most of her life suffering the cool

reception of a people who don't fully accept her.
Born of a human mother, and an elven father who

only later in life took an interest in their
existence, Vex'ahlia and her twin brother,

Vax'ildan, quickly realized the only people they
could truly rely on in this world were each other.

It was at the age of ten when the two were taken
from their mother, and brought to live in Syngorn,

the isolated elven city for which their father was
an ambassador. He quietly took them in, but always

kept an icy distance, and after too many years of
disdainful looks, the pair decided to leave his

indifference behind, and set out on their own. Vax
took to the cities, stealing small trinkets and

learning the ways of the thief, while Vex kept to
the woods. She preferred the isolation. Always the

keen observer, she learned to hunt and to track,
to spy and to shoot. Through a series of fateful

events, earned herself a companion in the form of
a bear-- her own stolen Trinket-- to fight

alongside her and protect her fiercely. Also, he
is adorable, and gives expert massages.

MATT: Hello, everyone. Welcome back. We've had our
pee breaks. We've had our refills of our drinks.

We've got Fireball, so I think we're good for the
next venture. Anyway, the party has taken their

rest for the evening. Once again, this is one of
those weird experiences where you wake up, not

because of the sun rising, because you can't see
it in the dwarven city of Kraghammer, but

eventually you all come to consciousness
naturally. What is your plan of action?

SAM: Oh, Jesus, we should have all talked about
this while we were all peeing.

TRAVIS: We're going to beat up everybody, right?

SAM: Are we going to the manor?

TALIESIN: I say we have brunch, and we go to the
manor--

LAURA and TRAVIS: Brunch?

SAM: Eggs benedict.

TALIESIN: I want dwarven brunch.

LIAM: I want a traditional dwarven breakfast.

MARISHA: Dwarven eggs are very good.

TALIESIN: They're small.

MATT: Okay, so Tiberius fills you all in about his
experience, trying to get into the House Thunderbrand.

TRAVIS: How you almost got killed?

ORION: I didn't, certainly not. I just couldn't
get in the door. Rather rude!

MARISHA: Why did you think that after the magic
hand failed that the big thunder ice wave would work?

ORION: What I thought is that I could cover the
rune with ice and merely step over it. I didn't

think it would dissolve my ice.

TRAVIS: Did you sleep?

ORION: Yes.

TRAVIS: Oh. I had to make sure, you know.

ORION: A good sorcerer always all his tricks
before turning around, which is what I did. I

think we should go back there because I feel that
it's significant that I couldn't get in so easily.

TALIESIN: We will go back there. I don't think
it's the next order of business but I think that

we're not leaving the city without dealing with
that.

LAURA: Definitely.

TRAVIS: Do we need to do something with the
comment cards?

LAURA: Oh.

TALIESIN: Did you not fill out your comment card?

TRAVIS: No, I did! I know, like, three letters, so
like A, F, and A.

MARISHA: That's okay.

TALIESIN: That sounds very positive.

MARISHA: It's the thought that counts, Grog. It's
the thought that counts.

LAURA: Did you put a smiley face next to the
A-F-A?

TRAVIS: I covered my hand in ink.

LAURA: That works.

TALIESIN: Very good. I think that went well.

SAM: Shall we try to make our way to the manor,
then?

LAURA: The Greyspine Manor, with our cask of fancy
ale/wine.

TRAVIS: Does the light ever change being
underground?

MATT: No, it is a perpetual low red glow from all
the stones that are embedded around the streets.

LAURA:I feel really sleepy and also very awake at
the same time.

MARISHA: Yeah, I know.

MATT: Oh, dwarves.

LAURA: So what do you think?

TALIESIN: Now I'm curious if there's dwarven
coffee.

MATT: You guys make your way after your brunch,
your delicious dwarven brunch--

TALIESIN: Thank you!

MATT: -- which is very alcoholic.

TRAVIS: Yes!

TALIESIN: It's like being in New Orleans for the
weekend, every meal is going to come with

something alcoholic.

LAURA: You're turning yourself into a dwarf?

SAM: Did you catch that? He just turned himself
into a dwarf.

TRAVIS: You did?

MATT: Tiberius went (whoosh) into a dwarven form.

LAURA: What kind of dwarf? What do you look like?

SAM: He's very handsome for a dwarf.

LAURA: Are you a girl dwarf?

MARISHA: Yes! You should be a lady dwarf.

SAM: Oh yeah, what kind of dwarf? A lady dwarf?

ORION: I would not do that again.

TRAVIS: Oh, you did do that, you did take it as a
troll.

ORION: Almost! She shot off the penis.

LIAM: What is going on?

TRAVIS: That's where the troll dick came from.

ORION: Don't you remember, Vax? I was almost raped
by trolls.

MATT: There was a cavern interaction with two male
trolls that they had stealthed up behind as a

party. I love explaining this to the audience.
Tiberius then polymorphed into a female troll to

try and Bugs Bunny them, not realizing that
dwarves who are underground and--

LAURA: Trolls.

MATT: --trolls don't encounter female trolls
often enough to have a one track mind. He nearly

got himself in a very bad situation. That was
remedied by the party attacking and Vex over

here shooting off the troll's dick. Which then
went in the bag of holding, which is disgusting.

MARISHA: That's also where the hashtag not all
trolls came from.

MATT: Yup, hashtag not all trolls came from that
game. That is horrible.

TALIESIN: Oh god. Bring it back.

MARISHA: Bringing it back.

MATT: You guys make your way to the residential
district. The same guards are there who were there

the previous night that encountered you guys so,
as you roll up with an entourage-

SAM: How many are there?

MATT: Currently, there are four.

TRAVIS: We can take them.

LAURA: Hi. I wave at Thompson.

MATT: He's actually not there. It's the two others
that were with you. He is noticeably absent.

LAURA: Oh. Where's Thompson?

MATT: They look at each other and they're like,
"He's been given the day off."

LAURA: Oh, really?

LIAM: As you can see, we brought one of your
citizens with us to show us a tour of the city.

SAM: That's you.

MATT: "Citizen? I haven't see you about. What's
your name?"

ORION: Oh, my name is Tiberius Kraghammer.

(laughter)

SAM: Like Johnny New York.

ORION: Shoot, we're in Kraghammer, right?

SAM: We're in Kraghammer.

ORION: Oh, Stronghammer.

SAM: Johnny New York.

MATT: "What is it, Kraghammer, or what was it?"

(laughter)

ORION: I meant--I meant Stronghammer. Kraghammer
is my father's cousin's side.

MATT: "How drunk are you?"

ORION: I've been drinking since I've woken.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

SAM: See, he is one of you!

TRAVIS: I had a lot of breakfast.

ORION: Oh yay, 19.

MATT: 19.

TRAVIS: Tiberius Kraghammer.

MATT: "All right, I haven't seen you around, but
obviously it's a bit early to be that fucked up."

ORION: I've been very depressed, you know.

MATT: Well, what's your business, if I might ask
again? You already seen the statue.

LAURA: Yeah, we saw the statue, but we wanted to
get a better look at it. We brought this gift for

the Greyspines and we wanted to present it to
them.

MATT: The two new Carvers step forward and look at
it. "Ooh!"

LAURA: It's really nice.

MATT: One of them's like, "I'll tell you what. If
you let us taste a bit of that, we'll let you go."

ORION: Oh, I mean, I've been drinking a lot of it,
sure!

LAURA: A thimble of it because if any of it goes
missing-- Is it sealed? Can we tell if it's sealed?

MATT: You look at it. It does not have any sort of
port or exit on it. It is just a solid barrel.

ORION: Maybe, we can save some for them.

LAURA:. If we open it, it'll ruin the barrel,
right?

MATT: "Ah, that's right."

LAURA: Maybe we can save you a bottle of it when
we open it inside. We'll give it to you later.

MATT: Make a persuasion check for that. It's a
very persuasion based encounter.

LAURA: Should I roll that one that failed me
earlier or my little dice?

MATT: The little dice! They haven't come out yet!

LAURA: (high-pitched) My little, tiny dice.

MATT: Itty bitty dice.

LAURA: Teeny tiny dice. Okay that's better, I
rolled a 23.

MATT: Okay. They all look at each other. "If you
can save enough for all four of us, please do.

Bring it back, we'll be looking forward to it."

ORION: Do you have any flasks that we could use to
fill them up?

LAURA: We've got some bottles, don't worry.

MATT: "We'll be waiting. If you don't show with
the drink, we'll go right to our supervisor." They

all nod.

LAURA: Yeah, keep nodding. Here's the thing. I
don't know if I can save four bottles worth, but

I'll save as much as I can.

SAM and TALIESIN: Just say yes.

LAURA: Hey, I've got it covered.

LIAM: On our father's good name, we will bring you
some of this. That is a promise.

TRAVIS: It's a good name.

MATT: They all look about each other. "Fine.
Remember, we're waiting." They all lick their lips

a little. They part and let you guys into the
residential district. You make your way to the

very back. You can see House Greyspine. Once
again, guys, for those who haven't been there

before, it's a beautiful arrangement. The iron
gate around it with spikes on the top. You can see

the entire front yard, it's about a good 80 yard
walk to the front of the building itself. It's a

quite a distance from the front gate and that
entire area is filled with like a stone garden

with various small sculptures and interesting
knick knacks they collected and put on display

like as a small museum as you approach the front
of House Greyspine. You get to the front door as a

large double oak door about ten feet tall, four
feet wide, currently closed. There is no handle on

the door.

TRAVIS: No handle?

MATT: No.

ORION: Hold on, wait. Don't knock on anything.
Things shock you here.

SAM: Let's go knock on the door.

TALIESIN: I want to double check, see if there's a
bell to ring or there seems to be some sort of

calling--

MATT: Easily enough, you see next to the door
there is a small chain that protrudes from the

stone wall. It has a small bulbous ball at the
end.

TALIESIN: Ding ding. Ding-a-ding.

MATT: You pull it. Not a ding, but a large
(clanging). It is a heavier chain than you

expected. As you pull on it, you feel a large
hammer-like object is slamming into a brass-type

material as it echoes and resounds in the
building. Definitely announcing your presence.

MARISHA: Percy, can I try?

TALIESIN: If you must, yes.

MARISHA: Okay!

MATT: Boosh! It echoes into the house.

MARISHA: I just wanted to do that once! I'm
sorry.

SAM: Should we ding-dong-ditch?

(laughter)

LIAM: Scanlan perhaps a little ditty on strings
will ease our introduction.

SAM: I'll start singing a little jaunty welcoming
song. (singing) Hello, hello, we're here to pay

you calling. Hello, hello I don't know what rhymes
with calling.

TALIESIN: "Calling," at the very least. I thought
you would go right there.

SAM: Yes, it's true.

MATT: All right, are you going to play the music
for the sake of playing music?

SAM: Yes, for now.

MATT: All right. About ten seconds pass
before the door-- you hear a large (thudding) and

one of the doors opens up. You see a dwarf, with
long gray hair that's slicked back and pulled into

a ponytail. A very small trimmed beard, very
proper, steps out in long black robes and goes,

"Can I help you?"

TRAVIS: Percy?

TALIESIN: Yes, Percival Fredrickstein von Musel
Klossowski de Rolo III.

ORION: You can call him Percy.

TALIESIN: You can simply call me Percy, thank you.
We're here to discuss some business with Lord

Greyspine and we have, of course, brought gifts and our
charming company.

LIAM: As well as our dwarven compatriot to
introduce us.

ORION: Yes, who? I am quite drunk right now.

MATT: He gives you an awkward look. It's like a
look of trying to place your face. "Which lord are

you looking for?"

LAURA: Actually Nostoc.

ORION: Is he the nice one? I would like the nice
one.

MATT: "Nostoc, I'm afraid, is currently working at
the quarry, if he's who you're looking for."

LAURA: Oh, of course he is.

SAM: If Gradon is here, is that his name? Gradon?

MATT: He gives you this look. "Gradem is not
taking visitors."

LAURA: Of course not.

TALIESIN: That's a shame, we brought this
half-barrel of ale right here and some--

SAM: And some very, very attractive mining
contracts, but if there's no one here to talk

about them--

MATT: He gives you this look. "If you're talking
mining contracts you want to head to the quarry

and talk to, Lord--" Looking him up again in my
notes. "You want to talk to Nostoc Greyspine. He's

the one who runs the quarry. As far as the
Ironkeeper himself-- I mean no offense, but only

official political business."

TALIESIN: Well, this is definitely official
political business. I will also say, could you

direct us to the quarry?

We are new in town.

MATT: "Obviously. Have you not shown them
where the quarry is, friend?"

ORION: I have no idea what's going even going on.

SAM: Jesus.

TALIESIN: He's been drinking since very early this
morning.

MARISHA: He's on vacation. You'll have to excuse
him.

ORION: I must say, I am having a wonderful time.

MARISHA: You know, friends are in town, he's
showing us around.

TALIESIN: What was your name, again?

MATT: The dwarf gives you a subtle look, goes, "My
name is Magrim. I am the servant of the Ironkeeper himself."

TALIESIN: Magrim, of course you're the servant.
You are filled with poise and sophistication, and

of course, above all, protocol. I would not wish
you to break protocol which is why some simple

directions, for those of us who are wishing to do
some official business. You'll be right on your way

and your house will return to order.

MATT: "Right. The Ironkeeper is not open to
business outside of pre-approved political understanding."

LAURA: Of course.

MATT: "If you don't have a pre-approved meeting
put within our ledger, you won't be seen."

LAURA: Of course not, but for the mining
contracts, however, wouldn't we need to speak to

Nostoc? Is there any way-- I hear it's very hard
to get down into the mines. It's very

well-guarded, right? That's why we came to speak
to him here.

MATT: He leans over and looks at the cask of ale
and says, "Down to the mines, you have to go to

one of the chain platform posts at the edge of
town that will bring you to the base area. Find

your way to the mines there. That should be enough
to get Nostoc's attention. The rest is up to you."

LAURA: Lovely. Thank you so much.

SAM: One moment, before we adjourn-- (whispers) Do
we want to try to get into this place, or are we

just going to go to the mines?

LAURA: (whispers) Maybe we should talk to Nostoc
first.

SAM: And ditch this place?

TALIESIN: Every time we break into someone's house
it turns out poorly.

LAURA: We're trying to get to the mines,
essentially.

LIAM: I think he's still listening.

TALIESIN: Good man, good day. We'll
be on our way, thank you.

LAURA: Magrim, you've been wonderful. Thank you so
much. We plan on keeping some of this ale and

bringing it back to the household. Would you like
some when we open the cask?

MATT: He looks down at the cask, looks up at you
and says, "I would not turn down a sip or two."

LAURA: Lovely. We'll be sure to save you a small
bottle.

SAM: I'm going to turn invisible.

MATT: As he's looking over there, you vanish. All
right.

LAURA: You can do that?!

SAM: And I'm sneaking into the house.

LIAM: To what end?!

TRAVIS: That's awesome! Who cares? Light it up!

SAM: I don't know why!

TRAVIS: He's gone nuts!

TALIESIN: We are off the reservation.

MATT: "Is that all your business?"

LAURA: I believe it is all of our business.

MATT: "Well, good day." He steps back into the
doorway and closes the large oak doors. You are

now standing in the foyer of Palace Greyspine. A
luxurious foyer, the floor itself is a fine dark

velvet red carpet. There are tapestries across the
walls and small wooden end tables set at the edges

of the hallway, this foyer area that contains
sculptures and vases and plants that exist

underground specifically. There's a large stairway
that leads up into the upper portion of the house

and two doors at each side that lead to rooms you
no longer can see.

ORION: I use the earpiece and whisper: What are
you doing, Scanlan?! What are you doing?!

SAM: I don't know! Give me 20 minutes!

LAURA: 20 minutes, that's okay! Let's all step
away from the house.

MARISHA: Ask if he needs assistance or
divergent--

TALIESIN: Divergent?

MARISHA: Divergent.

MATT: Magrim wipes his hands and walks away going,
"(sigh) Fucking foreigners."

SAM: I follow him where he's going.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: My nervousness, I let out a little bit of a
fart as we--

MATT: Make a stealth check.

ORION: Why are you making it harder on yourself?

SAM: 14 plus I'm invisible, plus two. 16.

MATT: Because you're invisible, I'll give you
advantage on that. Go ahead and roll.

SAM: Oh, well. 14. Plus two. 16.

MATT: As you scamper by, behind Magrim, following
him towards the kitchen area of the abode, Magrim

stops and turns, rubs his stomach, goes (groaning)
and continues walking forward, seemingly

unperturbed by the sound.

SAM: I'm snooping around, trying to see if there's
any lords or higher ranking individuals in the area.

MATT: Okay, I'll say within the time that you have
within the house, you wander through quite a few rooms.

There's a wonderful music room, which contains a
number of dwarven instruments that you've read of

and many instruments that you know as well. You
actually find another, what do you call it again?

A shawm?

SAM: Shawm.

MATT: A shawm. You find another shawm within, more
finely crafted than the one that you have.

SAM: Oh fuck.

MATT: A gift of lords, if you will.

SAM: I'm so tempted, but no.

LAURA: Does he have an earring on? Does he have
one of our earrings?

LIAM: We all do.

MATT: Not everyone, you only made a few.

SAM: Just me and him.

LAURA: Who all has an earring?

SAM: He can talk to me, apparently.

LAURA: Tiberius, tell him to look for paperwork of
something. For the mines!

ORION: Scanlan, look for paperwork of something
else, and by the way, all of you should be hearing

me right now, you all have the ear--

LAURA: Not everyone. You only made like five or
something.

MATT: You could only afford five.

ORION: That's right. (clears throat) Do all those
things, Scanlan.

SAM: Great.

TRAVIS: Who's talking right now?

MATT: As you look about the household, you also
come across a couple of bed chambers that are

locked, pretty hefty lock.

SAM: Not going to try.

MATT: Okay. You make your way up the stairway, and
there's a long hall that leads to, essentially, a

throne room that is still partially under
construction, mostly finished. It actually was an

intentional build onto this house. House
Greyspine, when the current Ironkeeper went into

office, it seems, began to have this room built.
It's nearly finished, but it's an extravagant room

with a large stone and dark metal throne, steps
lead up to it, and its raised dais-like pedestal

in the center of the room. A series of great
magically glowing and flickering lanterns across

them. There are two dwarves inside that are
currently finishing up the stone work. They're

doing various sorts of masonry and plastering in
areas and carving out and chiselling out pieces of

stone, and making them intricately carved in this
flavor. Other than that the room is currently

empty.

SAM: Shit. There's nothing to steal!

TRAVIS: Drop a deuce in the bedroom!

MATT: Hashtag "gnomishdeuce."

ORION: Damn it, Scanlan! Just get out of there!
What are you doing?

LAURA: You totally should!

TRAVIS and LAURA: An invisible poo!

SAM: I might as well try one of the doors that's
locked, and see if I can pick it, but I'm not good

at that, so I'll try.

MATT: Okay. Do you have on your person any sort of
thieves' tools?

SAM: I have a forgery kit, a poisoner's kit--

MARISHA: Forge some thieves' tools real quick.

SAM: Climbing gear? And a whip.

LIAM: Matt, I have one of the earrings, and I say:
Scanlan, what exactly is the purpose for this

little escapade, and will it be ending shortly?

SAM: Can I reply?

MATT: You can, through the message-based ear
enchantment.

SAM: Just trust me that I have no idea what I'm
doing.

MATT: Do you wish to pick one of the doors?

TRAVIS: Do it.

SAM: Yeah, I'm going to try one!

MATT: Okay, you have disadvantage on this.

SAM: Of course I do.

MATT: So roll twice, and we'll consider this a
straight dexterity check.

SAM: 11, plus zero?

MATT: You futz with the door for a good minute,
trying to bend a piece of wire you had, thinking

to forge some tumblers, and eventually get to a
point where you hear, (tink).

And it broke.

SAM: I can't do two spells at once, so I will give
it up and I'll make my way to the door.

MATT: Okay. The door is currently closed.

SAM: I become un-invisible and I cast Dimension
Door.

MATT: All right. You blink through this small,
purplish arcane doorway. It brings you directly

outside. You guys are waiting, Scanlan just pops
into view.

SAM: It was crazy in there! People were farting
everywhere! It was not me. They're building a

throne room, there were some locked doors. Man, I
wish you could have been there! It was exciting,

but ultimately pointless. Let's go down to the
mines!

LIAM: I would like to stress again that none of
these dwarves are our enemies, at all. We just

want to go have some words with Greyspine.

TRAVIS: That we do not have our healer, at
present.

LIAM: Well, we do, but she's very distracted, and
is not feeling herself.

SAM: She wanted to stay at the inn this morning.

LIAM: She's feeling awfully BAFTA today, so.

SAM: Let's make our way to the mines, shall we?

ORION: Metal poisoning, yes.

TRAVIS: To the mines, then, yeah.

LIAM: Let's go get this drunk dwarf!

MATT: Yes, the bard was doing a lockpick with no
lockpicks. He was fashioning it from wire.

Exciting but pointless! You make your way to the
edge of the center ring. You find that there are

long spiral staircases that move to the bottom,
where there are elevators that bring you to the

bottom floor. The elevators are chain based, like
a ratchet-type system with two Carvers there, of

course. You approach one, eventually you talk with
them, they lead you down there, but once again

they give you a look of, "Watch your back!"

LAURA: We point at the ale and give him a thumbs
up!

MATT: They nod, and let you pass. As you continue
downward into the lower area, you can see the red

stone that lets a lot of the atmospheric glow of
Kraghammer is used less and less and a lot more

central torches are now in place; sconces. The
stone itself is either rarer the further down you

go or has less of an illuminating power the deeper
into the earth. You eventually reach into the

center part of town. You now see from where you're
standing a number of large structures in the very

center of the bottom part of the city of
Kraghammer. You can see--

There is a giant domed temple that is

made of gold and bronze in the center. It looks
almost like a gargantuan gazebo that has doorways

on each side that is currently closed off. No
guards at it, though. You do see a number of other

buildings. There is a large, heavy foundry far off
to the left of you that has a little bit of smoke

that's coming off of it, but most of it looks to
be filtered into a giant, metallic funnel that is

then placed into the rock. Almost like all the
smoke based exhaust is being funneled outside of

the mountain. That is the closest; that's the
foundry. Then to the right of you, you wander a

bit and you can begin to see that part of the
mountainside to the far right has that look of a

strip mine, or like a large portion of the
minerals has been pulled away and is currently

being mined further. That looks like probably one
of the better places to look in looking for the

Greyspine Quarry. You eventually make your way to
the outside of the quarry. You now look down into

three large pits that descend deeply into the side
of the mountain. This mine has been going for

quite some time and a large chunk of this looks
like it may be being prepped; almost like the mine

is what's growing Kraghammer. The more they mine
into the mountain, the more they fill the mined

area with further city construction. It's this
self perpetuating cycle of expanding the city

downward. Currently in the quarry, there are a
number of large stone dwarven buildings in the

edge of it, one of which is the largest of them
all, looks like it's made more of a black and red,

iron aesthetic; some of it's been oxidized a
little bit and has that rough and tumble, iron

feel. That one has the most guards around the base
of it. The Carvers are gathered entirely around

it. Looking down into the center of the quarry,
towards the bottom there are a number of tunnels

that lead into the hillside of Cliffkeep Mountains
proper, surrounding Kraghammer.

TRAVIS: Let's go where the guards are.

LAURA: Let's walk towards the guards.

LIAM: Let's just do this directly, I think.

SAM: Just swords out.

MARISHA: Wait. Before we go up, I take the cask of
ale and I grow some pretty flowers on it, and I

make a nice pretty bow and I shine it up a
little.

TALIESIN: You're making a fruit basket?

MARISHA: No, I'm just-- it looks attractive now.

TALIESIN: It looks like a fruit basket.

MARISHA: It does not look like a fruit basket.
It's not that ostentatious.

TALIESIN: It's the "Ale of the Month" Club.

LIAM: In her defense, they probably don't see
flowers too often. It's a nice touch.

TALIESIN: That is very fair.

ORION: I'm going to take this opportunity to cast
Stoneskin on myself.

MATT: Okay. Stoneskin is placed on you.

SAM: Are you a dwarf still?

TALIESIN: Are you a dwarf made of stone?

MATT: You have not turned Alter Self off. You are
still a dwarf.

ORION: Yeah, that's fine.

MATT: Oh, Stoneskin is a concentration spell, so
yes, that would eliminate the Alter Self spell.

Okay, so you revert back to your dragon form,
robed self, but Stoneskin is in effect. You using

your, what's it called again?

MARISHA: Druidcraft.

MATT: Druidcraft! Thank you. The Prestidigitation
for hippies. Portions of the wood begin to sprout

from the outside of this dark wood barrel and form
these entangled ivy vines that eventually embrace

the entirety of this cask with little buds of
dark, ruddy flowers. Something that would

definitely appeal to a dwarven aesthetic.

MARISHA: That's hot.

MATT: You approach the guards, of which there are
eight currently at the front.

LAURA: Can I use my perception to see which one of
them looks maybe the most interested or weakest?

MATT: Would be more of an insight.

LAURA: Insight! Which one of them looks most
interested in our party.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh, good. I thought that was a one, but
it's not. It was a 13.

MATT: 13? Okay. Strangely enough, they are fairly
distracted and after a rather long, uneventful

morning, most of them are used to being in armor
and waiting for business to go down. There are a

few along the edges that look a little more alert,
and one of them is looking occasionally down into

the quarry. Just keeping an eye on the established
area.

LAURA: Which one looks like the newest?

MATT: The newest of the bunch would be the one
that's on the far left that is looking down into

the quarry as well. He has a shaved head, has a
small brownish beard that looks like he's starting

to grow out into a nice, long tuft. Either it got
shaved in some, I don't know, terrible college

dwarf accident. You know part of his entry into
some fraternity.

TRAVIS: Dwarf Sigma Sigma.

MATT: It's a fairly thick tuft of unkempt brown
beard that goes about that far out. It's starting

to be pulled in like tiny little scruffy braids.
It's not quite there and he probably gets a lot of

shit for it from the other dwarves. He seems to
generally be looking at you guys.

LIAM: Okay, work your magic.

TRAVIS: Yeah, do your thing-- fuck these dwarves
up.

SAM: What are we trying to do?

LAURA: We brought this gift. Hello! We address all
of them, maybe, right now, yes?

TALIESIN: She is better at this. I'm going to let
her do this.

LAURA and SAM: Hello, hi!

ORION: Greetings and salutations!

MATT: The other guards reach back and grab their
weapons. One of them looking to you.

ORION: Oh, you don't need that.

LAURA: I look over at the shaved-head one and I
hold his gaze for a little bit.

LIAM: I give Vex a little push forward.

LAURA: Pardon me. Not yet!

MATT: "All right, what's your business?"

LAURA: Oh, yes, well-- we are here to speak with
Nostoc. We brought a gift for him that's quite

remarkable, actually.

MATT: They curl up around the apparent barrel that
Grog's holding. They look wary of Grog, but once

they make note of the barrel they all, "Ooh!"

TRAVIS: Right? It's the shit.

MATT: "I've heard of that, but I've not seen
anyone actually drink it. There were long standing

rumors that this even existed."

LAURA: It exists.

SAM: And it's for Nostoc.

MATT: "This is a Balgus original?"

LAURA: Yes.

MATT "Signed by himself I see on the burned,
emblazoned wood. I'll go talk to him!" He heads

inside of the building, the doors close behind
him. The other guards encroach, keeping a very

keen eye, each one having a bead on the rest of
your group. About two minutes pass before he comes

back, opens the door and the dwarf goes, "Nostoc
will see you briefly, but you best bring the gift.

I think that's what's holding his interest."

ORION: Wonderful!

MATT: "Inside, please." Him and one other guard
flank you guys as you enter, making sure that you

are not left without that appearance. You are led
into the center of this portion of the mine's main

structure, a series of long hallways. There's this
general smell of soot and ash and broken stone

dust in the air. A hint of brimstone-ish smell.
It's not very pleasant, it's very well worn and

pungent for those of you who spend most of their
time on the surface. As you enter, there is a

general dust in the air, a little light seems to
peek through from the torches that are placed up

along the wall. You can see this general haze
amongst the interior here. It's definitely a work

environment at the base of an underground dwarven
establishment used to mine. You are led further

down the hallway. It curves to the left and you're
brought into a large dwarven study. There are

books on the walls, a series of ledgers and paper
stacks on a large desk and at the center there

sits a dwarf with fiery red hair cut very short,
almost like a buzz-cut on the top, with a long

beard that is not braided, but kept very smooth
and very-- not curly, not bunched, it's a very

straight beard. He's very clean cut, he already
has this intimidating dark glare. As you walk into

the room he goes, "Okay, you brought me a drink.
You have my attention. What brings you to the mines?"

SAM: We should have talked this through before.

TALIESIN: Well, several things actually. Several
things bring us to the mine. My name, of course,

is Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de
Rolo III.

ALL: You can call him Percy!

MATT: He raises his finger and goes, "You have not
paid for your pleasantries yet."

LAURA: Oh, of course. Grog, if you would.

LIAM: Tap that motherfucker!

TRAVIS: I am assuming he had a goblet on the
table.

MATT: As you pull it up he pulls under his desk
and pulls up a goblet. As you fill it, "Top it

off! Thank you!

Now put on the side of the desk!"

SAM: Wait! Mister Greyspine.

Oh, okay, all right.

MATT: Puts it down. (satisfied sigh)

LAURA: Is it as amazing as we've heard?

MATT: "It's pretty fucking good." He takes another
long drag, while making sure you all watch him do

this. This goes on probably a little longer, the
pageantry of him drinking this in front of you is

definitely a power play, and he's establishing
some sort of unspoken dominance in the room.

Eventually he finishes his tankard, sets it down
under the desk again. "Right, so where were we?"

TALIESIN: We were here to call upon your
expertise. We imagine that we are not the first

strangers to Kraghammer to come through--

LAURA: -- in the last few weeks.

TALIESIN: In the last few weeks. We believe one
of our compatriots had some dealings with you,

perhaps not as pleasant as the dealings we are
hoping to have.

SAM: A lady, in fact.

LAURA: A halfling.

MATT: At which point, as you say that, he gets
this grin to his face and goes, "Aye, I know of

the one you speak."

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: "She is a strong-headed one, that one."

TALIESIN: Yes.

MATT: "She stepped on a few toes around this
place."

ORION: Oh, was she clumsy?

MATT: "One could say that, aye. You say you are
compatriots of hers?"

TALIESIN: We're here to mend any broken bridges,
so to speak.

MARISHA: Or broken toes, if you will.

MATT: "She certainly left a mess in her wake.
There's this strange vision quest she kept talking

about. It brought her into atmospheres-- portions
of this city, portions of my business that she has

no right trespassing on. She went against Carver
rules, she broke away from partial arrest and she

went screaming down into the caverns of our mines
without my permission, blade drawn on some crazed

suicide mission."

LAURA: You know what? We'll go after her. We'll
bring her out. We'll get her out of your mines.

MATT: "Great. I'd like that actually."

LAURA: Good!

TALIESIN: We'd be happy to clear out anything
unpleasant that we happen to find in there in the meantime."

ORION: How did she look?

TRAVIS: What?

MATT: "She looked small and angry. She seemed to
have some weight to her. She was a strong lass."

ORION: So not a looker is what you are saying.

MATT: He gives you this strange look and goes, "I
will not discuss the physical aesthetics of a halfling."

SAM: The dwarf is a feminist.

LAURA: How much would this task be worth to you?
Obviously we are doing you quite a favor and we

brought you quite a gift!

SAM: This cost us a thousand gold.

MATT: "Obviously this lass means a lot to you,
doesn't she?"

LAURA: No, but I know she is probably wreaking
havoc on your mines.

LIAM: We've come to correct the wrongs that she's
done and come to bring her home.

MARISHA: It also sounds like there are some other
terrible things wreaking havoc on your mines.

MATT: "There is nothing going on, we're fine. We
have everything under control, we don't need your

help for that. If you want to find your friend, go
find her! If she is still alive. If not, take her

corpse back and leave."

TALIESIN: It's not help, sir. We are simply
respecting you as a businessman. As a businessman

I'm sure that you would disagree with unceremonious charity
whether it would be to give it or receive it. We

are making sure that our dealings with you are
fair and balanced.

MATT: "I appreciate your offering. You have bought
your time. Now, if you are here to go find your

friend, I'll let you pass. You may pass into the
mine, but if at any moment you cross over to any

sort of thieving bullshite--"

Looks over at you. "I recommend--"

(laughter)

"I recommend-- that you fall down
the same path your friend likely did and get

killed real quick. I don't take kindly to those
who cross on my business."

TALIESIN: I doubt that we could find anything of
more value that what we have already brought you.

LIAM: We are here to right wrongs and I promise
you, our business is finding her and returning home."

MATT: "Then go."

LAURA: Is that our business?

TRAVIS: Yeah, we are here to right wrongs and
right lefts.

TALIESIN: And write comment cards.

MARISHA: Wait, before we dive into this mountain--
we know that there's ghouls and god knows what

else down there. Shouldn't we find out?

ORION: Yes, we should. Maybe some arcane house
could tell us how to deal with these things.

LAURA: Yes. Do we have permission to enter within
the next few days? Obviously we might need to be prepared.

ORION: Yes, do we have badges that we wear over so
that they know--?

MATT: "I'll speak with the men. They'll let you
down. If you come back, good on you. I think our

business here is done."

TALIESIN: Yes.

MATT: At which point, you hear muffled in the
distance a loud ringing of a very loud bell.

(dinging)

At which point, he perks up a bit. "Our business here is done.
Please, shove off."

SAM: Which way do we go?

MATT: He looks over to the two other guards who
are up front. The two Carvers say, "This way."

LIAM: While he is talking I take a flask out of my
cloak and approach the barrel and surreptitiously

pour a little bit of it into the flask.

MATT: Sleight of hand check.

SAM: You're stealing beer?!

ORION: No, because we have to give it to those
guards.

SAM: Fuck those guards, I can kill them all.

LAURA: Can I talk to good old Nostoc while he's
doing that?

MATT: He currently does not seem like the
talkative type at the moment, you can certainly try.

TALIESIN: I am going to make a fumble. I am going
to attempt to assist a sleight of hand with a bit

of a fumble.

MATT: He has already rolled it.

LAURA: Damn it. I am going to fall down. In front
of Nostoc.

SAM: Oh!

LIAM: 13.

LAURA: I am going to fall down in front of
Nostoc.

MARISHA: Come on!

TALIESIN: He is distracted by a bell.

MATT: As you fill your flask--

TRAVIS: Shit. Balls. Ass.

MATT: You hear this loud-- (clears throat).

LAURA: Ow, oh my ankle! It hurts so very much.

MATT: This is the first time you have witnessed
the pristine, delicate yet well trained palm of a

dwarven hand go straight to its forehead.

LIAM: I carry the flask up to his cup and refill
it and say: In my kingdom when a deal is set we

drink together. I would like, not much, but to
pour us all a drink and agree, surely this cask is

weeks' worth of drink--

MATT: "Get out of my office."

MARISHA: Take the flask, take the flask.

LIAM: I can see it is a cultural difference, my
apologies.

ORION: Stop it. Just go! What are you doing?

LIAM: You're one to talk!

ORION: I'm on the earring.

MATT: A second and a third bell starts going off
and the guards that are waiting for you guys.

They're like--

They start leading you outside and as you make your way
outside the main building, you can now hear voices

shouting, down in the quarry below.

LAURA: I lean down to one of the guards and say:
What is that bell for?

MATT: "Something is flushing out of the quarry."

LAURA: Flushing, what does that mean?

MATT: "We don't know." Some of the guards are
motioning each other to follow and some of them

start going down to one of the tracks that leads
down to one of the nearest quarry below.

TALIESIN: Just try and like practically usher our
guards in that direction, since they seem to want

to go in that direction. Let's see if we can push
them in that direction.

MATT: Okay, you guys follow down towards the
quarry, you ask the guard that question and he

goes, "I don't know, we've had quite a few
interesting things come through."

LAURA: Like what? Oh, like what?

MATT: He swallows and says, "Things I can't
describe."

TALIESIN: Well, we can certainly help, lead on.

MARISHA: Is there anybody running out?

MATT: Not yet. As you head halfway down the quarry
walkway, you begin seeing dwarves start running

out of one of the large quarry tunnels.

MARISHA: I grab one of them.

MATT: Well, they're quite a distance from you.
You're still walking down the side. They're a good

100 feet from you. They start running at you, you
see blood streaking down one of their faces.

TRAVIS: Yes!

MATT: They're charging out, one of them has a
weapon and is limping, and you start seeing small

green scampering things rushing through. One, two,
three, four, six, ten goblins come rushing out of

the tunnel.

SAM: Ah, I don't like these guys.

LAURA: We should attack them! I string my bow.

MARISHA: Don't you have family history with them?

MATT: The three dwarves that are running out, one
of them gets hacked down by one of the goblins and

jumps on them and is tearing his neck.

TALIESIN: I take a shot. Right now.

LAURA: I take a shot. I shoot it!

MATT: Okay, both you guys roll--

LIAM: I throw a dagger.

MATT: You throw a dagger?

Three of you, roll for attack.

TALIESIN: 19.

LAURA: 15.

ORION: Is there a clear area where there's a bunch
of goblins running?

MATT: There is an open funnel towards the tunnel.

ORION: I'm going to throw a little Fireball, right
there where those guys are.

MATT: Okay, you guys you all hit from this
distance because goblins are puny little things.

They're still a little small to see, but you're
all pretty well trained and pretty honed with your

aim. You fire simultaneously, gunshot echo through
the hallway, arrows, flying dagger, you see three

goblins fall off a nearby dwarf who goes,
"Thank--" At which point a large fireball

explodes, killing off about ten or so of the
goblins and probably two of the dwarves.

ORION: Sorry about that!

MATT: The guards stopped.

SAM: Did you do that?

ORION: Yeah.

SAM: Fuck.

MATT: They they start looking around and they see
you pull out your weapons and they all take a step

back and realize they don't want to die either.
"Well go, if you're going to help, go!"

TALIESIN: We run straight in.

MATT: With you guys charging in, you can now see a
handful more goblins are rushing out. They are

like running really fast, sprinting.

MARISHA: I throw Entangle up, in the distance
wherever they're coming from.

MATT: Okay, what's the radius on that?

MARISHA: Like a hundred feet.

MATT: That's the range. What is the radius?

MARISHA: Oh, 20-foot radius.

MATT: Okay. You find a portion of the central
point where the things exit from the tunnel and

these strange reddish vines begin to protrude and
to begin to grab nearby goblins and pull them up

in this massive, weird vine creature. You hear
(stomping) and you now see two larger ogre-like

creatures come storming out.

MARISHA: Oh, shit!

ORION: Wonderful!

MATT: Everyone roll initiative.

(cheering)

MARISHA: Oh, fuck. Goddamn it.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah!

TRAVIS: Take it!

MATT: All right, do we have initiatives 25 to 20?

TALIESIN: 27.

ORION: 21.

LAURA: Wait! I didn't roll yet.

MARISHA: You rolled a 20?

TALIESIN: I rolled a 20 plus seven.

MATT: 21, you said?

ORION: I have 21.

MATT: 21 for Tiberius. What did you get? One? Aw.

MARISHA: Oh, I rolled a two.

LIAM: It's six with the plus.

SAM: Fellows. I don't like goblins.

LAURA: 18.

MATT: You now see Scanlan, who's usually a jovial
individual, his eyes begin to tense with fury.

SAM: I don't like goblins.

MARISHA: Is there anything that you know?

SAM: No, they will all die. Don't spare any of
them.

TRAVIS: Copy that.

LAURA: 18.

MATT: All right, so we have--

TRAVIS: 18, too.

TALIESIN: 27!

LAURA: What?!

TRAVIS: Yeah, buddy.

TALIESIN: I have 27 initiative.

MATT: 15 to ten? Ten to five? Six.

TALIESIN: Wow, oh my god.

SAM: I got a three.

MATT: Okay. All right.

MARISHA: Four.

LIAM: It was a sudden attack, man.

SAM: We weren't ready.

MATT: You got a three.

MARISHA: To be fair I just cast Entangle. It
works. I'm distracted holding Entangle.

MATT: Yeah, it's fine. Then we have Scanlan. I'll
get you guys in placement here, as your bear is

currently back at the inn.

LAURA: He is still?

MATT: Unless you wanted to bring him along.

LAURA: Well, I thought I brought him. I should
have mentioned that.

MATT: All right, we'll say you brought him along.
That's fine.

LAURA: I'm sorry, I should have emphasized that
more.

MATT: That's all right. Those of you going first,
we're going to keep you on the field here.

LAURA: Oh god.

MATT: A number of goblins that are currently held
over here.

LAURA: They're easy. Goblins are easy. Orcs are not.

TRAVIS: Yeah, those are mine.

LAURA: Ogres?!

MATT: Top of the round, Percy you're up.

TALIESIN: I'm sitting down and I'm busting out Bad
News.

MARISHA: Bust out Bad News!

MATT: Percy stops just as he gets to the quarry, a
little bit elevated, and he pulls out from a small

sack on his back this large elongated contraption,
this weird construction that looks similar to the

pepperbox he usually carries, but much larger and
cumbersome. He sets it up on the ground with a

small stand at the front

and preps itself with a visual point.

TALIESIN: Ogre.

MATT: Ogre back here?

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: All right, roll for your attack with Bad
News.

MARISHA: Have you used it before?

TALIESIN: Nope, first time.

MATT: His own tinkered construction, Bad News.

TALIESIN: That's a 30 attack.

MATT: Yep, that'll do it. Go ahead and roll
damage.

MARISHA: Does that critical for you?

TALIESIN: 19 actually might.

MATT: Natural 19?

TALIESIN: Natural 19.

MATT: Yeah, that should critical for you.

TALIESIN: That does critical for me. I've never
criticaled with this either. What does that mean?

MATT: That means the damage dice you double. Roll
for damage, double that, and add your modifier

after that.

MARISHA: Come on! Big money, no whammies. Yeah!
Hell yeah!

TALIESIN: (counting) 27 points of damage.

TRAVIS: Get after it, big man!

MARISHA: Is that doubled?

TALIESIN: That's doubled.

MATT: You guys hear this cacophonous, large
blasting sound, a flash of blue energy and sparks

shoot out the back of the weapon. It actually
lifts Percy off the ground for a second and he

shifts himself from the sheer blast. This
streaking, heated bullet, reddish, white hot, goes

cascading through the air, plunges into the side
of the ogre's shoulder with a smattering of blood

splattering against the cave behind it. It's
actually moved back a step and has to catch

itself. Slams its club into the ground. That ends
your turn?

TALIESIN: I can't do anything after that. That's
just reload.

MATT: Tiberius, you're up.

ORION: I move within 60 feet of those big
fellows.

TALIESIN: Bad news travels far and fast.

MARISHA: Nothing travels faster.

MATT: This is the entanglement, by the way.

LAURA: Oh, okay.

ORION: Right before there.

MATT: Everything there is fighting from the
entanglement.

Most of these goblins are currently inside of it.

ORION: I'm going to shoot a Scorching Ray at the
big guy.

MATT: Both of them?

SAM: He said he moved within 60 feet of them.

MATT: You moved up to here? All righty.

MARISHA: They're all entangled, yeah?

ORION: That's good right there.

MARISHA: Still have Entagle up.

MATT: These guys here are entangled. These front
goblins are not. Scorching Ray you said at which ones?

ORION: Actually, oh there's a bunch of those
dudes, aren't there? I'm going to do a Fireball

instead, right in the center of the juiciness
where I can get a couple little guys and both the

big guys.

MATT: All right, so I'd probably about there would
be where you'd want it.

ORION: I'm going to do that, and I'm going to
spend two sorcerer points immediately to do

quickening spell and do another spell right after
that.

MATT: Okay. As you rush up, you pull back your
hand and you see the arcane red energy begin to

flow in your palm. You then throw the beam out,
and it arcs, slams into the center, and explodes

hitting each of these five goblins and the two
ogres. What's your DC on your spell?

ORION: My DC on my spell is--

MATT: Top of your spell page on the right.

ORION: Oh! Wait. Oh! 17, sorry.

MATT: 17, okay. Wow! The two ogres actually make
their saving throws.

LAURA: Ugh!

MARISHA: Boo!

MATT: They got 18 and a 19.

TRAVIS: Roll crappier, ogres!

MATT: The goblins, however, all disintegrate.

LAURA: All of them?

MATT: There's no way they're going to survive the
damage you-- they (poofing). You see this hint of

a red ash mist go, (squeaking) where they once
were, and they are all turned to black

nothingness. However, roll damage for the ogres.
They get half damage because they made their

reflex save. So 8d6 damage.

SAM: 8d6.

SAM: (counting) 27!

TRAVIS: What?!

MATT: 27, so half that. As the blast of fire
dissipates, you can see one of the ogres is now

burnt on half of its chest. Looking a little
rough. There's blood streaking down from the side

of his face where the shrapnel got thrown at him.
The other ogre's looking okay.

ORION: He's a large creature isn't he?

MATT: Yes.

ORION: I'm going to use my second spell and do
Telekinesis and pick one up and try to hurl him

into the other one.

MATT: Okay. Which one? The one left here?

ORION: The one that's beaten up already.

SAM: I'm hard right now!

MATT: He does fail his saving throw. You lift him
up in the air and throw him into that. That ogre

is knocked prone by the impact.

ALL: Yeah!

MATT: The other one is also knocked prone. Before
(splatting) into the wall, both of them slam to

the ground.

MARISHA: With my vines, I make sure my vines
really grapple him.

ORION: I turn to Grog: They're all yours, buddy!

MATT: Go ahead and roll 2d6 impact damage for the
force of the throw.

ORION: Sweet! Impact damage?

Ten.

MATT: Ten damage to each of them?

ORION: Yeah.

MATT: All right. Both of the ogres are now on the
ground reeling from the impact. That brings us to

Grog and Vex going simultaneously.

TRAVIS: Ladies first.

LAURA: Oh! Well, all right. I'm going to cast
Hunter's Mark on the most damaged one.

MATT: Okay, that'd be this one here.

LAURA: All right. Then I'm going to shoot
Lightning Arrow.

MATT: All right. Do you want to move a little
closer?

LAURA: Yes, I do.

MATT: All right. That would put you right there.

LAURA: All right, cool. I'm going to shoot
Lightning Arrow at them.

MATT: Okay. You pull out your arrow and as you
pull it back, a little bit of energy courses

through your fingers, strikes through your arrow.
You can now see this crackling energy as you're

pulling it taut in your bow. You let it loose,
roll for attack.

LAURA: Okay!

21!

MATT: 21 hits.

LAURA: All right. Then I do something else. 1d8.
Right?

MATT: Yep. You do the damage of the arrow plus the
damage of the spell.

LAURA: Holy moly! So that's this. 13 for the arrow
and then 4d8 for the spell.

(counting) 17!

MATT: 17. Okay. The ogre that's been beaten,
blasted by the fireball, it's getting up--

(grunt). It grabs its club, and it begins to get
up on one leg as the Lightning Arrow slams into

its chest. You can see it hits. Looks down for a
second, and then the charge pulses through its

entire torso. As it does, it screams out, "Ugh!"
into the cavern, its whole muscle system locks

tight and it falls forward again, onto its chest,
smoke rising off of its whole upper area,

unmoving, on the ground. He is gone.

TRAVIS: Dang! Come on now!

LAURA: Yes! Then the other one takes 2d8 if he
fails his saving throw.

MATT: Which, with a one, he does.

LAURA: Yes! Oh, he fails it so good.

MATT: Go ahead a roll damage for other ogre.

LAURA: Two. ten.

MATT: Ten damage. Nice. As he falls to the ground,
the arc arcs over to the other one who drops his

club for a second. Picks it up angrily.

LAURA: I can reassign my Hunter's Mark to him
now?

MATT: You can.

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: Yes, all right. That brings us to--

LAURA: Oh, my Hunter's Mark! I didn't do my
Hunter's Mark damage. But it doesn't matter. He's dead.

MATT: It doesn't matter. You killed him.

LAURA: All right, cool.

MATT: You just ultra killed him! (valley girl
voice) He is so dead. Oh my god. This ogre is

done. (normal voice) All right. The other ogre's
angry. It's now the goblins' turn. These goblins

rush up. They are dashing forward.

MARISHA: (valley girl voice) They are so dead.

TALIESIN: (valley girl voice) They're just, like, dead.

This one moves around, and this one runs
around to there. No attacks.

Everyone make an insight check.

SAM: Insight check? Oh shit.

MARISHA: What happened? Why are we doing this?

TALIESIN: I literally get a one.

TRAVIS: (sings) Natural 20! On an insight check.

MARISHA: 20 total. 20.

LAURA: 22.

ORION: Four.

TALIESIN: Natural one. I'm really not paying
attention.

MATT: You're dealing with the fact that you just
fired your gun for the first time and it burned

your hands a little. You're like "Ugh!"

SAM and MATT: Grog.

TRAVIS: Recites poetry.

MATT: Grog is familiar with one thing, fear in the
eyes of his enemies. Looking at these goblins,

they're not charging to attack. The attacks seem
to be instinctual. They are running.

MARISHA: Oh, no!

MATT: They are scared.

LAURA: Yes!

MATT: They are fleeing from something.

SAM: From the ogres?

TRAVIS: Something behind the ogres.

LAURA: Oh, no.

SAM: May I make a request that you kill them
anyway?

TRAVIS: It's like playing croquet at this point,
so yes.

(laughter)

MATT: Grog, it's your turn.

TRAVIS: I would like to rage! And I would like to move
to the right of all those stinking goblins!

MATT: Right over here?

TRAVIS: Yeah, a little more to the right. Yeah, a
little more. Yeah, keep going. All the way

flanking it there. Yeah. Yeah, and then I would
like to give them the cleanest shave possible with

my greataxe.

MATT: All right. Go ahead and roll for attack on
the first one.

TRAVIS: 18 plus eight. That's 26?

MATT: That definitively hits. Go ahead and roll
damage.

TRAVIS: Oh, damage, crap.

LIAM: (sings) Decapitation!

TRAVIS: Two plus the four. 13!

MATT: 13? Okay. As you rush up, you bring your axe
into the first goblin to your right (whoosh) clean.

You don't even feel resistance. You hear this
little (wheeze) sound as this being is bisected.

TRAVIS: Oh, that was cute.

MATT: Its head and upper torso rolling off to the
side before rolling to a stop. However, the

inertia of your axe still keeps through to the one
on the other side of you. Go ahead and roll for

your second attack on that.

TRAVIS: 21!

MATT: Also hits, go ahead and roll damage.

TRAVIS: Oh, that was eight plus seven is 15!

MATT: As you cleave through the first goblin, you
swing around, another goblin looks up at you,

scared, and pulls a dagger out with its gnarled
tongue, (hisses), at which point the axe embeds

itself straight into its face. Its angry face
goes, "Ugh!" and falls slack against your blade.

You lift backward, and it's stuck to the edge of
your axe. Just limply dangling against-- you shake

it off a little bit.

TRAVIS: Double prizes! Yeah!

MATT: Great. That ends your turn. The thing about
rage is that you can use your bonus action for a

third attack. If you wanted to do a frenzy action,
but you don't need to. That brings us to the

ogre's turn. The ogre gets up, let's see if it
makes its saving throw for an attempt to get out.

It does with an 18. However, the ogre gets about
that far. It's going to make a double move.

LAURA: Double move?!

TALIESIN: He's running.

MARISHA: I still have Entangle up.

MATT: I know. He managed to resist it.

LAURA: He saved against it.

MATT: It's a big ogre.

MARISHA: Poop.

MATT: The ogre takes his full turn to get up in
melee with you guys. It does not have its attack

since it used its full movement there. Once again, you
see as it's lumbering forward, it also has this

look in its eye of desperation.

SAM: Oh crap.

ORION: We should just let it pass.

MATT: Now it is Vax's go.

LIAM: My sister's right in the face of the ogre,
correct?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: Excellent. I'm going to take a run towards
my sister, since she's right close to him, he's distracted

so I'm going to turn just as I get to her, so my
back presses against hers and swing around and

sneak attack two daggers up in his belly.

LAURA: We've practiced this, I turn.

MATT: All right. As you dodge to the side, this
blur of shadow and speed, you coast up to the side

of your sister, dagger both plunge towards the
side of the ogre. Go ahead and roll for an

attack.

LIAM: All right. One. Then the other one I do a
poison dagger, gets a (singing) 20!

TRAVIS: Oh, put it on him brother!

MATT: All right.

LIAM: That is dagger of venom, 1d4. Three, plus
two is five, and then is the sneak attack damage

go with--?

MATT: Yeah it does because you have another ally
adjacent to it. You don't get advantage on the

attack roll, but you can still do the sneak
attack.

LIAM: Critical hit, too, as well, wouldn't it?

MATT: Yeah! You can multiply the sneak attack
damage.

LIAM: Five, plus- and the double goes to the sneak
attack damage?

MATT: It does. Modifiers don't double, but any
dice you roll double.

LIAM: Nine, 15--

MATT: In my game. (clicks tongue)

LIAM: So 30 plus five, 35.

MATT: 35 damage.

LIAM: Plus poison.

MATT: The poison's not going to factor in. You
swing past her, both blades jam right into the

side of its rib cage. You hear it howl out in
pain. As it does, you twist the daggers in a way

where both blades are now going in two different
directions, and you carve out a section of its

entire abdomen. As you do, the flesh, like whale
blubber, sloughs off the sides of it. Organs spill

out, intestines, and it looks down and tries to
pull them back in. You see the color draining from

its face, and you lean up and kick it down. The
ogre and falls to the ground lifeless, destroyed.

TALIESIN: You gave him just enough time to regret
everything that had ever happened.

MATT: Yes.

TALIESIN: Well done. Bad life choices.

MATT: That brings us to Keyleth.

MARISHA: I didn't call my mom enough.

LAURA: There are two goblins left?

MATT: There are two goblins left.

MARISHA: Okay. I do a quick sprint jog up up
towards Grog and go (boof) and bring up a big

stone wall. Right where that entrance is.

MATT: Right here?

MARISHA: No. Like, right where things are pouring
out.

MATT: Right, here?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: All right, Wall of Stone.

MARISHA: Wall of Stone-- boom.

MATT: All right. A giant wall of stone now
completely seals off that part of the mine.

MARISHA: We don't know what's in there, we should
talk about this for a second, and I bought us some

time. I'm sure it's going to try to beat through
that door in a second.

MATT: I'm going to say that you moved up to there
with your movement. All right, I'd say probably over here,

not right next to the goblins and that will give
you enough range. Okay, so the wall of stone--

(boom)

MARISHA: Are there any guards around still? Any
dwarven guards?

MATT: They are all watching you do this now. They
don't want to put their lives at risk, and you

guys seem intent on getting into the middle of
this battle, so they are going to sit back and let

you do it.

MARISHA: I throw up my wall and turn around and I
say: What's coming?! Tell us! You know what's coming.

What's coming?!

MATT: Make an intimidation check.

LAURA: Keyleth, you are so hardcore.

MARISHA: I'm not good at this.

SAM: You speak goblin?

MARISHA: Oh, four.

(laughter and groaning)

MARISHA: (tearfully) What's coming?

TALIESIN: Make a pity roll.

MATT: A very gentle attempt at intimidation,
however, the message gets across. The guards look

at you, taken off guard.

MARISHA: We are about to die. It is in your best
interest to tell us.

MATT: "We don't know! It's been different things.
Strange abominations. It's hard to describe.

They're put together. Something's making things
down there."

MARISHA: What kind of things? From where?

MATT: As they're talking, you hear a (boom)
against the stone.

TALIESIN: (clicking) Sitting down.

TRAVIS: I bring out my blade.

MATT: The stone cracks, and you can see a
noticeable crack and an audible (cracking).

LIAM: I'm running right now diagonally towards the
wall and I press against the wall.

LAURA: Oh, good call. I do the same thing on the
other side.

MATT: Okay, so you come over here. Do you want to
bring Trinket with you?

LAURA: Yeah!

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: You're all so fancy.

MARISHA: I cast Stoneskin on myself.

LAURA: We're stealthing, I'm stealthing.

MATT: Roll stealth both of you.

ORION: How tall are the walls? I mean the
ceiling.

MATT: Oh, the ceiling right now is the rest of
Kraghammer for the most part.

TRAVIS: Hundreds.

MATT: Yeah, it is a huge ceiling.

TRAVIS: What's in the middle? Are those fires?

MATT: These are braziers here. By the way,
Stoneskin goes, this disappears.

TRAVIS: The entanglement?

MATT: Yeah, the entanglement is gone. There are
minecarts, some rocks, there is a smashed cart

over here from when the ogre barreled through.
This is a piece of stone that rises about 15 feet,

and these are both braziers for light in the
center of the area. Yeah, it's hundreds and

hundreds of feet up. You can look up to the very
top of Kraghammer from here.

ORION: Okay, that's fine.

MATT: Whatcha got? Well, let's see. Keyleth,
that's your turn, Stoneskin and moving up.

Anywhere else you want to go? Right now, we're
technically not in combat.

SAM: Right. We're out of combat.

MATT: Briefly.

TALIESIN: I'm breathing deep, taking aim at the
wall, resetting everything.

MARISHA: Can I move up behind that pillar?

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I'm staying far back at the moment.

MATT: Back here. Both of these goblins-- I'll just
say that you guys end up taking them down. It's

not even a question. You step on them and crush
them.

TRAVIS: Are there any dwarves that we can say to
go get Ballsack and bring him down?

MATT: You can.

LAURA: Oh yeah, Balgoos! Balgus.

MATT: Balgus? You tell them, "Get Balgus!" and
they're like, "Who?" Some of them have set

crossbows up by the way. They're barreling down to
get ready to fire at whatever comes through.

(impact) Another crack in the wall. You can see
the dust settle as the stone cracks again and a

large piece at the top tumbles off. The stone
wall's probably not going to hold another impact.

Anybody else want to move anywhere?

TALIESIN: Just taking aim.

SAM: I'll move up to the right near where Grog is.
No one's has taken any damage yet, right?

MATT: Not currently, no. You guys have had a
pretty clean sweep into this battle, so far.

SAM: I can't inspire anybody here? Now?

MATT: You can inspire anybody. Just give them a
dice.

SAM: Can I inspire everyone?

MATT: You can spend all your uses to inspire as
many people as you have the uses of it.

MARISHA: I still have mine that I haven't used
yet.

SAM: I'll inspire Vex and Vax and Grog.

SAM: (singing) I think you're really handsome and
nice! You're going to have inspiration dice!

TRAVIS: Thought you were going to have a little--

LAURA: I know, some beautiful song for us! Wait,
what for all of us? We all get a d8?

MATT: Each of you has to have a single d8 dice,
inspiration dice. The bardic inspiration is

flowing through you, that you can use to add
to an attack roll, not damage.

You can add it to an attack roll, a saving throw.

SAM: (plays tune on electric piano app)

MATT: There you go. That's what a shawm sounds
like, apparently. You can use it on attack roll,

a saving throw, or an ability check. Any skill.
Tiberius, are you going to stay where you are, are

you moving anywhere?

Last chance.

ORION: Is that cover right there next to me?

MATT: Right over here? Yeah.

ORION: I'll get behind the cover. I'm going to
peek out and I'm going to cast Blur.

MATT: Okay, Stoneskin goes away.

ORION: I can't do both?

MATT: Nope. They're both concentration spells.

ORION: Okay, I leave Stoneskin.

MATT: Okay, Stoneskin stays on. At which point
(boom) the stone breaks through scattering across

the ground. Immediately bursting through--

TRAVIS: What the fuck is that?

LAURA: What is it?

MATT: A bulbous, oversized, naga-like creature.
You've encountered a naga before, which is a large

serpentine creature with a humanoid head. However,
this one is swollen, it is bulbous. The way it

moves looks unnatural and it has affixed to it not
one, not three, but five other different colored

naga heads stitched to its body. It is a seriously
terrible abomination. As it breaks through the

stone, (hisses and growls) all the heads rear
back.

MARISHA: Do naga heads do something if you look at
them?

MATT: We're beginning back at the top of the
initiative order.

TRAVIS: Oh shit!

LAURA: Wait! I got a question! My Hunter's Mark,
can I transfer it to that thing or do I have to--

MATT: Correct, you can, yes.
Because this still part of the encounter.

LAURA: Sweet!

MATT: That is now marked with the Hunter's Mark.
Percy, you're up first.

TALIESIN: Do I have to take new aim or can I have
myself already trained on--

MATT: You've had a moment to train. You haven't
seen the creature until it just burst out, so it

would take you a round to aim.

TALIESIN: I'm taking my round to aim.

MATT: Okay, so you're aiming. That brings us to
Tiberius.

ORION: What did you just do?

TALIESIN: I just took aim. Took aim. Just a gun.

LAURA: Did we roll initiative again?

MATT: I'm keeping the same initiative order.

TALIESIN: This gun doesn't do anything fancy. Just
shoots really far, really hard.

ORION: Okay! I'll do a Scorching Ray.

MATT: Scorching Ray, all right. It makes a saving
throw. It does not! Rolled a two, so full damage on it.

ORION: Two-- four. Let's shoot two of them right
now, right, three of them?

MATT: It's an aimed ray attack?

ORION: Yeah.

MATT: Then you have to roll for the attack. Roll a
d20 and add your--

TRAVIS: Roll high, roll high.

MATT: Top of your spell page.

ORION: Oh! That's 23.

MATT: 23? 23 hits.

ORION: Yes, okay. Then that's 2d6. That's 12.

MATT: 12 points of damage to the naga. That brings
us to--

ORION: Wait. I roll for the second shot, right?

MATT: Yeah.

ORION: Okay, and that's a natural 20.

(cheering)

MATT: Okay, so you fire one beam off and it slams
into the side of one of the naga heads. The second

you bring back and as you do there's a flicker of
arcane instability. His arm shakes as he releases

the surge of scorching energy as it blasts into
the side of the naga. Also, does not make a saving

throw again! Roll full damage.

TRAVIS: Holy shit, Tiberius.

TALIESIN: Oh my god.

ORION: 12.

MATT: 12?

ORION: Yeah.

MATT: Multiplied? Or did you roll a 12?

ORION: I rolled a 12.

MATT: 12. Times two. 24 points of damage.

ORION: Oh! I'm terrible at math! Stay in school,
kids!

MARISHA: This is a good time to note our charity,
826LA.

SAM: Not yet. Don't donate yet. Donate next week.

MATT: Next week, you can donate to then. All
right, so that brings us to the end of Tiberius'

turn. You want to move at all, are you staying
where you are?

ORION: I'll stay right here.

MATT: Grog and Vex, you're up.

TRAVIS: Ladies first.

LAURA: Oh! Me! Okay, I'm going to shoot-- oh god,
I didn't realize I was going so fast.

MATT: What did you roll for stealth, by the way?

LAURA: What?

MATT: What did you roll for stealth, by the way?

LAURA: I rolled a 20 for stealth!

MATT: Then yeah, he has no idea you're there.

LAURA: Sweet!

MATT: He sees the bear going (growling).

LAURA: Okay. Trinket's going to hang out because I
don't want to-- you know. I'm going to shoot

Conjure Barrage. No, I'm just going to shoot him
twice.

MATT: All right, go for it!

LAURA: All right.

MATT: Arrow once, arrow twice, Legolas style.

LAURA: I am going to do the fire arrow thingy at
it.

MATT: Okay, so using your bowstring.

LAURA: The blazing bowstring. Thank you,
Tiberius!

MATT: That he created and crafted! All right so as
you pull the second arrow out you nock it. As you

let it, go it bursts into flames arcing halfway
through the air.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: What was your to hit roll on that?

LAURA: 21?

MATT: 21 hits!

LAURA: Oh wait, that's four plus seven is 11.

SAM: Don't forget your inspiration!

MATT: Well inspiration dice is to hit.

SAM: Oh, okay.

LAURA: 11.

MATT: 11 points of damage.

LAURA: For the first one, plus for the blazing
bowstring I can turn any arrow into a flaming

arrow, doing additional ten fire damage. I'll roll
that right now, which is this. Which is a seven!

MATT: An additional seven, so 18 total damage and
that arrow (impact) in the side of its body. One

of the serpent heads reels back from the pain. It
begins snatching at where the arrow's now

protruding from it, trying to break it off.

LAURA: Then I'm going to roll again!

That's a 24!

MATT: That hits, go ahead and roll damage.

LAURA: Awesome. That's an eight.

MATT: Grog, you're on deck.

LAURA: Seven plus seven is 14!

MATT: 14 damage, all right. Both arrows sink into
it. Definitely piercing through the scales a

little bit, but not sticking too deeply into its
body; it's definitely a hearty creature. Grog,

you're up!

TRAVIS: Right, I would like to run around the
other side of the rock, raging, spit flying out my

of my mouth! I would like to use the chain of
returning, also crafted by Tiberius, attach it to

the end of the greataxe, and throw it from where I
am at the snake.

ORION: Yeah!

MATT: He comes running around, rears back, and
takes his double-handed great axe and lobs it overhand.

The chain, that's wrapped around your wrist,
keeping it attached to you, in some degree. Go

ahead and roll for the attack.

TRAVIS: Eight, nine, 17!

MATT: 17? It just hits!

TRAVIS: All right, nice. That is 15.

MATT: 15 points of damage. The axe embeds itself
pretty deeply into the torso.

LAURA: Oh! I didn't do my Hunter's Mark.

MATT: Roll Hunter's Mark damage right now.

LAURA: Thank you, chatroom!

Six!

MATT: Six? Awesome. Six damage. All right.

TRAVIS: This says, "An athletics-strength check is
required to pull the weapon free, the DC 12?"

MATT: Go ahead and roll an athletics check.

TRAVIS: 12.

MATT: Roll a d20.

TRAVIS: Oh, a d20.

MATT: It's a DC 12.

TRAVIS: Shit. Balls. Taint. Five.

MATT: Plus--

TRAVIS: Plus what?

MATT: Plus your athletics!

TRAVIS: Oh! That's bound to be good. Seven! It's
12!

MATT: 12 is the DC! So yeah!

TRAVIS: (elated laughter)

MATT: You pull back the chain and as you do, the
blade is resisting, it's stuck in the torso and it

actually (whoosh) and flies back, and you barely
catch it.

TRAVIS: (nervous laughter)

MARISHA: I love your joy sounds!

TRAVIS: Meant to do that! Meant to do that of
course.

MATT: Now it's its turn.

LAURA: Oh no!

MATT: (bursts of wind)

TRAVIS: Yeah, come on!

SAM: What? Why me? No, that's not me.

MATT: For its size, when it moves, it moves in a
burst of lightning energy. It's too fast for its

corpulent form.

As it goes behind to Keyleth and Tiberius, it
makes an attack with each of its five heads. Two

on Tiberius, three on Keyleth. Remember, you guys
have Stoneskin, so I believe you have resistance

against damage, right?

ORION: Oh yes, I do.

MATT: All right. So. Against Keyleth, it's a
natural 20.

ALL: Oh no!

MATT: That's a 12 plus seven, that's going to be a
19 to hit?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Natural 20 again.

MARISHA: What the fuck!

MATT: Two critical hits, and a hit on you.

TRAVIS: What is this bullshit?

MATT: On Tiberius, that's a 22 to hit and a 13 to
hit.

ORION: One does, one does not.

MATT: Okay, cool. Against Keyleth, you take--

MARISHA: I'm glad I cast Stoneskin.

MATT: I know. So you take half damage for these.
Which is fine.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: That's two plus four, that's six, damage
halved, you take three damage. Oh, sorry. Three

multiplied by two because it's a critical. So you
take six damage from the first strike.

LAURA: That's nothing! Six damage.

MATT: Not too bad. You take seven damage from the
second strike, and another six damage from the 3rd

strike. Actually, it would have been six, four and
six. Because you have resistance on the damage

because of Stoneskin.

MARISHA: Six, four and six?

MATT: Yes. However, make a constitution saving
throw. As venom from the fangs of the naga begin

to pulse into your bloodstream.

MARISHA: I should have taken the poison
resistance. He talked me out of it.

What am I--constitution.

MATT: Yeah, constitution saving throw.

MARISHA: Fuck!

MATT: Natural one? Natural one on the constitution
saving throw.

LAURA: Oh no!

MARISHA: It's a bad day.

MATT: You feel this burning pain pulse into your
bloodstream, as your whole body doubles over from

the pain.

SAM: Keyleth dies in episode one.

MATT: You suffer 31 points of poison damage.

MARISHA: 31, on top of the six, four and six?

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: Are you okay?

MATT: The poison damage is not halved because it
is not a physical attack on your body.

LAURA: Is Keyleth unconscious?

SAM: No, she's okay.

MATT: Tiberius you take 13 points of damage halved
by Stoneskin so you take a total of seven. Also

make a constitution saving throw.

Whatcha got?

ORION: It's a 16.

MATT: 16, you manage to physically resist the
poison in your system. You feel that slight tinge,

the muscles tense, but then your dragonborn form
begins to shrug off the effect of the venom.

ORION: Can I turn to him and blow fire out of my
nostrils?

MATT: Sure.

ORION: That's what I do.

MATT: True dragonborn challenge. That brings us to
Vax.

LIAM: Okay, I start jogging backwards.

MARISHA: Took me down to 16 hit points.

LIAM: Can I sneak attack while prone?

MATT: You're stealthed currently, so you would
technically get a sneak attack, but you have to be

in melee for you to get the other bonus. It would
be sneak attack for this damage if you were to

roll or if you were to throw a dagger at it, you
would get the sneak attack.

LIAM: Okay, so that means one throw instead of
two?

MATT: You can throw both daggers at it.

LIAM: All right. I feel so inspired by Scanlan's
bardic tunes--

SAM: (singing) Yeah!

MATT: You can add it after you make the roll by
the way.

LAURA: If you do a really good roll then you don't
need it.

LIAM: Okay, 19 plus 11 is 30.

MATT: Because you're a rogue, isn't that critical
for you?

LIAM: Yeah. Oh, yeah.

MATT: Two criticals!

LIAM: The other one, the other one is a 16 plus,
plus-- is a 26.

MATT: That also hits. You chuck both daggers out,
they both arc around.

You're used to throwing around--

LIAM: I meant to say I was aiming at its eye, the
main head's eye.

LAURA: No, you should've said that first.

MATT: For flavor it's fine. Just go ahead, it's
fine.

LIAM: All right, four.

LAURA: Four!

LIAM: (counting)

20. 20 times--is 40 plus four.
44, that's the first dagger?

MATT: Yeah, 44 damage.

LIAM: 44.

TRAVIS: Damn!

MATT: Rogues, man.

MARISHA: Help me. Help!

LAURA: That's just one dagger?

LIAM: That's just one. Four plus two is six. Is
that sneak attack? No.

MATT: No, only one sneak attack per turn.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: 40 and then six on the other one.

MATT: One actually hit one of the heads, one of
the various naga heads directly into its face. As

it does it goes through both eyes and you can see
it begin reeling from the attack. It's looking

pretty rough, actually. The stitches beginning to
come apart at some of the seams and you can see a

black ichorous liquid spill out from some of the
suture marks.

LIAM: Just a reminder the daggers, folks, blink
back to the belt on my waist.

MATT: Because magic. Magic rogue shit. Keyleth,
you're up.

LAURA: Kill him!

MARISHA: Okay, so I'm really upset, really
hurting. Out of anger I take my staff and I go

(bam) and I crack and do Thunderwave pushing him
back 15 feet.

MATT: All right. Makes the saving throw. He gets
pushed back, so he takes damage, just half damage.

MARISHA: Okay, 2d8.

MATT: As you're setting up your gun it gets
slammed right point blank to you.

MARISHA: Oh sorry. It takes four damage.

MATT: Four damage, all righty.

MARISHA: Then I'm going to turn into an eagle.

SAM: (laughs) As one does.

MATT: We'll say for that, because I forgot to
bring an eagle, you're now a-- (eagle sounds)

MARISHA: And I fly away.

TRAVIS: Away.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Far, far, away.

ORION: Where are you going?!

SAM: Tell our story, Keyleth.

MATT: That's pretty great.

MARISHA: Then I cry in the corner and rock back
and forth a little bit. That's my turn.

MATT: I forgot to mention you actually take half
damage for the saving throw for the venom so you

still would've taken 14 points of poison damage,
so mark that.

ORION: Okay.

MATT: It is half damage on a save. That brings us
to Scanlan.

SAM: Can I bonus inspire myself?

MATT: Because you're Scanlan I'll say, yes. You
have such a high opinion of yourself that even you

could inspire yourself. So yes, why not.

SAM: (singing) It would help me to acquire some
dice to inspire. (speaking) I inspire myself first

and move five feet back so I'm on the same row as
him.

MATT: There?

SAM: Not that far.

MATT: There.

SAM: Yes. Them I'm going to cast Lightning Bolt at
him.

MATT: Okay! Straight line that way?

SAM: Straight line, that way.

MATT: You don't have to roll to hit. You just roll
damage on that. I make a saving throw.

SAM: Oh! I didn't even need to inspire.

MATT: What's your DC on the spell? Top of your
spell list.

ORION: 17.

SAM: Thank you.

MATT: 17? That's a failure on its saving throw. Go
ahead and roll 8d6.

LAURA: 8d6?! Kill him!

MATT: Bards. Gets spells from other classes.

TRAVIS: If you kill, I will take a shit on this
table.

SAM: (counting)

LIAM: It's gone.

SAM: 24!

MATT: 24 points of lightning damage.

SAM: Yes. (sings a high-pitched note)

MATT: How do you want to do this?

(yelling)

MARISHA: Wait! Is this the first time you've--

SAM: I've never killed anything before!

TRAVIS: Never killed anything in two years!

LIAM: For the people at home, we live to hear Matt
say:

ALL: "How do you want to do this?"

MATT: I let the player describe their victory. As
you sing to yourself to bolster your arcane

energy, you release a shear bolt of energy. How do
you want to do this?

SAM: The bolt of lightning begins in its tail and
works its way up through its spine, slowly but

painfully torturing it as it slowly, slowly feels
the effect coursing through its evil body.

MATT: Because of your bardic ability to actually
shape sound from an arcane standpoint, a lightning

bolt should be an instant flash of arcane energy,
you actually cause it to crawl. You control it as

it begins to cascade up the torso of this horrible
abomination. As it does you can see the bolts

splinter and destroy each suture wound as each of
its heads begins to slough off the rest of the

torso until nothing is left but the single head
screaming into the air. As the bolt makes its way

up the neck, its eyes burst out in a blast of
energy. The body falls limp to the ground.

SAM: Can it have a lightning bolt shaped in an
"S?"

MATT: A Scanlan-shaped lightning bolt is burned
into the torso of the strange naga beast.

TRAVIS: Well done, Scanlan, well done!

MATT: The dust settles, the adrenaline still
pumping in your system, Scanlan. All the rest of

the dwarves begin stepping down, putting their
crossbows down, looking down at the little gnome

that created a storm from its hands. One of them
pats him on the shoulder and goes, "Well done."

SAM: Thank you. Just promise me you'll that tell
Pike about this.

MATT: "Okay?"

SAM: Because it was really cool, right?

MATT: "That was pretty cool."

SAM: Okay, good.

MATT: All the dwarves look into the tunnel that it
came from and the one that you spoke to earlier

goes, "So that's the kind of thing that's been
coming out of there."

LAURA: Lovely.

MARISHA: Thanks for the heads up.

TALIESIN: That was really helpful.

MATT: We'll go ahead and leave the game there for
the night.

(cheering)

MATT: Folks, well done. Hope you guys had fun
watching our first ever Critical Role. That was a

good time so we'll be here next week on Thursday.
7:00, though. Today was a special early edition

because all of Geek & Sundry's going to South by
Southwest.

ZAC: Good job, dude!

MATT: Dude, thank you, Zac!

ZAC: This is so much fun. This is the most fun
I've had all week now until I die of stress behind

the camera.

MATT: Good! That's good.

ZAC: Guys, I hate to end it so abruptly but we're
actually packing up the cameras that are filming

me now, our unit, everything, lights, and getting
on a plane and heading to South by Southwest. We

may stream tomorrow, we may not, we're flying
blind, we'll see what stuff looks like when we get

there. Thank you guys so much and we'll be back
next week, 7:00pm. Next week guys, it's going to

be great.

MATT: Thank you all for coming!