The secret to giving great feedback
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0:00 - 0:03If you look at a carpenter,
they have a toolbox; -
0:03 - 0:04a dentist, they have their drills.
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0:05 - 0:07In our era and the type of work
most of us are doing, -
0:07 - 0:10the tool we most need is actually centered
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0:10 - 0:13around being able to give
and receive feedback well. -
0:13 - 0:16[The Way We Work]
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0:18 - 0:20Humans have been talking
about feedback for centuries. -
0:20 - 0:23In fact, Confucius, way back in 500 BC,
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0:23 - 0:27talked about how important it is
to be able to say difficult messages well. -
0:27 - 0:30But to be honest,
we're still pretty bad at it. -
0:30 - 0:32In fact, a recent Gallup survey found
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0:32 - 0:36that only 26 percent of employees
strongly agree -
0:36 - 0:40that the feedback they get
actually improves their work. -
0:40 - 0:41Those numbers are pretty dismal.
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0:41 - 0:43So what's going on?
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0:43 - 0:45The way that most people
give their feedback -
0:45 - 0:46actually isn't brain-friendly.
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0:46 - 0:48People fall into one of two camps.
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0:49 - 0:52Either they're of the camp
that is very indirect and soft -
0:52 - 0:55and the brain doesn't even recognize
that feedback is being given -
0:55 - 0:57or it's just simply confused,
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0:57 - 1:00or they fall into the other
camp of being too direct, -
1:00 - 1:04and with that, it tips the other person
into the land of being defensive. -
1:04 - 1:07There's this part of the brain
called the amygdala, -
1:07 - 1:09and it's scanning
at all times to figure out -
1:09 - 1:12whether the message
has a social threat attached to it. -
1:12 - 1:14With that, we'll move forward
to defensiveness, -
1:14 - 1:16we'll move backwards in retreat,
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1:16 - 1:21and what happens is the feedback giver
then starts to disregulate as well. -
1:21 - 1:23They add more ums and ahs
and justifications, -
1:23 - 1:26and the whole thing
gets wonky really fast. -
1:26 - 1:28It doesn't have to be this way.
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1:28 - 1:31I and my team have spent many years
going into different companies -
1:31 - 1:35and asking who here
is a great feedback giver. -
1:35 - 1:37Anybody who's named again and again,
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1:37 - 1:40we actually bring into our labs
to see what they're doing differently. -
1:41 - 1:44And what we find
is that there's a four-part formula -
1:44 - 1:47that you can use to say
any difficult message well. -
1:47 - 1:49OK, are you ready for it? Here we go.
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1:49 - 1:52The first part of the formula
is what we call the micro-yes. -
1:52 - 1:54Great feedback givers begin their feedback
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1:54 - 1:58by asking a question
that is short but important. -
1:58 - 2:02It lets the brain know
that feedback is actually coming. -
2:02 - 2:04It would be something, for example, like,
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2:04 - 2:07"Do you have five minutes to talk
about how that last conversation went" -
2:07 - 2:10or "I have some ideas
for how we can improve things. -
2:10 - 2:11Can I share them with you?"
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2:11 - 2:13This micro-yes question
does two things for you. -
2:13 - 2:16First of all, it's going to be
a pacing tool. -
2:16 - 2:19It lets the other person know
that feedback is about to be given. -
2:19 - 2:22And the second thing it does
is it creates a moment of buy-in. -
2:22 - 2:25I can say yes or no
to that yes or no question. -
2:25 - 2:27And with that,
I get a feeling of autonomy. -
2:27 - 2:31The second part of the feedback formula
is going to be giving your data point. -
2:31 - 2:34Here, you should name specifically
what you saw or heard, -
2:34 - 2:37and cut out any words
that aren't objective. -
2:37 - 2:40There's a concept we call blur words.
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2:40 - 2:43A blur word is something that can mean
different things to different people. -
2:43 - 2:45Blur words are not specific.
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2:45 - 2:48So for example, if I say
"You shouldn't be so defensive" -
2:48 - 2:50or "You could be more proactive."
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2:50 - 2:53What we see great feedback
givers doing differently -
2:53 - 2:56is they'll convert their blur words
into actual data points. -
2:56 - 2:59So for example, instead of saying,
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2:59 - 3:00"You aren't reliable,"
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3:00 - 3:04we would say, "You said you'd get
that email to me by 11, -
3:04 - 3:05and I still don't have it yet."
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3:05 - 3:09Specificity is also important
when it comes to positive feedback, -
3:09 - 3:12and the reason for that is that we want
to be able to specify exactly -
3:12 - 3:16what we want the other person
to increase or diminish. -
3:16 - 3:18And if we stick with blur words,
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3:18 - 3:20they actually won't have
any clue particularly -
3:20 - 3:23what to do going forward
to keep repeating that behavior. -
3:23 - 3:26The third part of the feedback
formula is the impact statement. -
3:26 - 3:28Here, you name exactly
how that data point impacted you. -
3:29 - 3:32So, for example, I might say,
"Because I didn't get the message, -
3:32 - 3:34I was blocked on my work
and couldn't move forward" -
3:34 - 3:36or "I really liked
how you added those stories, -
3:36 - 3:39because it helped me
grasp the concepts faster." -
3:39 - 3:40It gives you a sense of purpose
-
3:40 - 3:43and meaning and logic between the points,
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3:43 - 3:46which is something
the brain really craves. -
3:46 - 3:49The fourth part of the feedback
formula is a question. -
3:49 - 3:53Great feedback givers wrap
their feedback message with a question. -
3:53 - 3:55They'll ask something like,
-
3:55 - 3:56"Well, how do you see it?"
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3:56 - 3:59Or "This is what I'm thinking
we should do, -
3:59 - 4:01but what are your thoughts on it?"
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4:01 - 4:04What it does is it creates commitment
rather than just compliance. -
4:04 - 4:07It makes the conversation
no longer be a monologue, -
4:07 - 4:10but rather becomes a joint
problem-solving situation. -
4:10 - 4:12But there's one last thing.
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4:12 - 4:15Great feedback givers
not only can say messages well, -
4:15 - 4:17but also, they ask for feedback regularly.
-
4:17 - 4:20In fact, our research
on perceived leadership -
4:20 - 4:23shows that you shouldn't
wait for feedback to be given to you -- -
4:23 - 4:25what we call push feedback --
-
4:25 - 4:28but rather, you should
actively ask for feedback, -
4:28 - 4:30what we call pulling feedback.
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4:30 - 4:33Pulling feedback establishes you
as a continual learner -
4:33 - 4:35and puts the power in your hands.
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4:35 - 4:37The most challenging situations
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4:37 - 4:40are actually the ones
that call for the most skillful feedback. -
4:40 - 4:42But it doesn't have to be hard.
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4:42 - 4:44Now that you know this four-part formula,
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4:44 - 4:48you can mix and match it to make it work
for any difficult conversation.
- Title:
- The secret to giving great feedback
- Speaker:
- LeeAnn Renninger
- Description:
-
Humans have been coming up with ways to give constructive criticism for centuries, but somehow we're still pretty terrible at it. Cognitive psychologist LeeAnn Renninger shares a scientifically proven method for giving effective feedback.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TED Series
- Duration:
- 05:01
Erin Gregory edited English subtitles for The secret to giving great feedback | ||
Erin Gregory edited English subtitles for The secret to giving great feedback | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for The secret to giving great feedback | ||
Erin Gregory approved English subtitles for The secret to giving great feedback | ||
Erin Gregory edited English subtitles for The secret to giving great feedback | ||
Krystian Aparta accepted English subtitles for The secret to giving great feedback | ||
Krystian Aparta edited English subtitles for The secret to giving great feedback | ||
Krystian Aparta edited English subtitles for The secret to giving great feedback |