The beautiful balance between courage and fear
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0:01 - 0:04When we're young, we're innocently brave,
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0:04 - 0:08and we fearlessly dream
about what our lives might be like. -
0:08 - 0:11Maybe you wanted to be an astronaut
or a rocket scientist. -
0:11 - 0:15Maybe you dreamed
of traveling to every continent. -
0:15 - 0:17Since I was very young,
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0:17 - 0:19I dreamed of working
for the United Nations -
0:19 - 0:22in some of the most difficult
countries in the world. -
0:22 - 0:24And thanks to a lot of courage
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0:24 - 0:27that dream came true.
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0:27 - 0:29But here's the thing about courage:
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0:29 - 0:31it doesn't just appear
whenever we need it. -
0:31 - 0:35It's the result of tough
reflection and real work, -
0:35 - 0:39involving the balance
between fear and bravery. -
0:39 - 0:42Without fear, we'll do foolish things.
-
0:42 - 0:46And without courage,
we'll never step into the unknown. -
0:46 - 0:49The balance of the two
is where the magic lies, -
0:49 - 0:52and it's a balance
we all deal with every day. -
0:53 - 0:55First, a word about my fancy wheels.
-
0:55 - 0:57I haven't always used a wheelchair.
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0:58 - 0:59I grew up like many of you,
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0:59 - 1:01running, jumping and dancing.
-
1:01 - 1:04I love to dance.
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1:04 - 1:06However, in my mid-twenties,
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1:06 - 1:10I began to experience
a series of inexplicable falls. -
1:10 - 1:12And a few years later,
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1:12 - 1:15I was diagnosed with a recessive
genetic condition -
1:15 - 1:19called hereditary inclusion body myopathy,
-
1:19 - 1:21or HIBM.
-
1:21 - 1:24It's a progressive muscle wasting disease
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1:24 - 1:28that affects all of my muscles
from head to toe. -
1:28 - 1:30HIBM is very rare.
-
1:30 - 1:35In the United States there are
less than 200 people diagnosed. -
1:36 - 1:40To date, there is
no proved treatment or cure, -
1:40 - 1:43and within 10 to 15 years of its onset,
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1:43 - 1:46HIBM typically leads to quadriplegia,
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1:46 - 1:49which is why I now use a wheelchair.
-
1:49 - 1:52When I was first diagnosed,
everything changed. -
1:52 - 1:54It was frightening news
-
1:54 - 1:59because I had no experience
with chronic illness or disabilities. -
1:59 - 2:03And I had no idea
how the disease might progress. -
2:03 - 2:05But what was most disheartening
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2:05 - 2:08was to listen to other people advise me
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2:08 - 2:11to limit my ambitions and dreams,
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2:11 - 2:14and to change my expectations
of what to expect from life. -
2:15 - 2:18"You should quit
your international career." -
2:18 - 2:21"No one will marry you this way."
-
2:21 - 2:23"You would be selfish to have children."
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2:25 - 2:27The fact that someone who wasn't me
-
2:27 - 2:30was putting limitations
on my dreams and ambitions -
2:30 - 2:32was preposterous.
-
2:32 - 2:33And unacceptable.
-
2:35 - 2:36So I ignored them.
-
2:36 - 2:43(Cheers and applause)
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2:43 - 2:44I did get married.
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2:44 - 2:48And I decided for myself
not to have children. -
2:48 - 2:52And I continued my career
with the United Nations -
2:52 - 2:53after my diagnosis,
-
2:53 - 2:55going to work for two years in Angola,
-
2:55 - 2:59a country recovering
from 27 years of brutal civil war. -
3:00 - 3:02However, it would be another five years
-
3:02 - 3:06until I officially declared
my diagnosis to my employer. -
3:06 - 3:07Because I was afraid
-
3:07 - 3:12that they would question my capacity
to manage and I'd lose my job. -
3:12 - 3:15I was working in countries
where polio had been common, -
3:15 - 3:17so when I overheard someone say
-
3:17 - 3:19that they thought
I might have survived polio, -
3:19 - 3:22I thought my secret was safe.
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3:22 - 3:24No one asked why I was limping.
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3:24 - 3:27So I didn't say anything.
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3:27 - 3:28It took me over a decade
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3:28 - 3:31to internalize the severity of HIBM,
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3:31 - 3:36even as basic tasks and functions
became increasingly difficult. -
3:36 - 3:40Yet, I continued to pursue my dream
of working all over the world, -
3:40 - 3:42and was even appointed
as a disability focal point -
3:42 - 3:44for UNICEF in Haiti,
-
3:44 - 3:48where I served for two years
after the devastating 2010 earthquake. -
3:49 - 3:52And then my work brought me
to the United States. -
3:52 - 3:55And even as the disease
progressed significantly -
3:55 - 3:58and I needed leg braces
and a walker to get around, -
3:58 - 4:01I still longed for adventure.
-
4:01 - 4:02And this time,
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4:02 - 4:05I started dreaming
of a grand outdoor adventure. -
4:05 - 4:09And what's more grand
than the Grand Canyon? -
4:10 - 4:14Did you know that for every
five million people who visit the Rim -
4:14 - 4:18only one percent go down
to the canyon's base? -
4:18 - 4:21I wanted to be a part of that one percent.
-
4:21 - 4:23The only thing is --
-
4:23 - 4:27(Applause)
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4:27 - 4:32The only thing is that the Grand Canyon
isn't exactly accessible. -
4:32 - 4:33I was going to need some assistance
-
4:34 - 4:38to get down the 5,000-foot descent
of vertical loose terrain. -
4:38 - 4:40Now, when I face obstacles,
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4:40 - 4:44fear doesn't necessarily
immediately set in -
4:44 - 4:47because I assume that one way or another,
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4:47 - 4:48I'll figure it out.
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4:48 - 4:50And in this case, my thought was,
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4:50 - 4:53well, if I can't walk down,
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4:53 - 4:55I could learn to ride a horse.
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4:55 - 4:57So that's what I did.
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4:57 - 4:59And with that fateful decision
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4:59 - 5:01began a four-year commitment,
-
5:01 - 5:04tossing back and forth
between fear and courage -
5:04 - 5:06to undertake a 12-day expedition.
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5:06 - 5:10Four days on horseback
to cross Grand Canyon rim to rim, -
5:10 - 5:14and eight days rafting
150 miles of the Colorado River, -
5:14 - 5:16all with a film crew in tow.
-
5:16 - 5:18Spoiler alert -- we made it.
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5:18 - 5:21But not without showing me
how my deepest fear -
5:21 - 5:26can somehow manifest
a mirror response of equal courage. -
5:26 - 5:29On April 13, 2018,
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5:29 - 5:31sitting eight feet above the ground,
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5:31 - 5:33riding a mustang horse named Sheriff,
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5:33 - 5:35my first impression of Grand Canyon
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5:35 - 5:38was one of shock and terror.
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5:38 - 5:41Who knew I had a fear of heights.
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5:41 - 5:42(Laughter)
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5:42 - 5:45But there was no giving up now.
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5:45 - 5:49I mustered up every ounce
of courage inside me -
5:49 - 5:52to not let my fear get the best of me.
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5:52 - 5:54Embarking on the South Rim,
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5:54 - 5:57all I could do to keep myself composed
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5:57 - 6:00was to breathe deeply,
stare up into the clouds -
6:00 - 6:04and focus on my team's voices.
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6:04 - 6:08But then, in the first hour,
disaster struck. -
6:08 - 6:11Unable to hold myself
upright in the saddle, -
6:11 - 6:13going down an oversized step,
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6:13 - 6:17I flung forward and smacked my face
on the back of the horse's head. -
6:17 - 6:19There was panic,
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6:19 - 6:20my head hurt fiercely,
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6:20 - 6:24but the path was too narrow
for us to dismount. -
6:24 - 6:27Only at the halfway point at 2,300 feet,
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6:27 - 6:29at least another two hours down,
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6:29 - 6:31could we stop and remove my helmet
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6:31 - 6:35and see the egg-sized bump
protruding from my forehead. -
6:35 - 6:37For all of that planning and gear,
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6:37 - 6:40how is it that we didn't
even have an ice pack? -
6:40 - 6:41(Laughter)
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6:41 - 6:44Luckily for all of us,
the swelling came outwards, -
6:44 - 6:48and would drain into my face
as two fantastic black eyes -
6:48 - 6:51which is an amazing way to look
in a documentary film. -
6:51 - 6:53(Laughter)
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6:53 - 6:58(Applause and cheers)
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6:58 - 7:00This was not an easy, peaceful journey,
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7:00 - 7:03and yet, that was exactly the point.
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7:03 - 7:05Even though I was afraid
to get back into the saddle, -
7:05 - 7:07I got back in.
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7:07 - 7:09The descent alone to the canyon floor
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7:09 - 7:11took a total of 10 hours
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7:11 - 7:14and that was just day one of four riding.
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7:14 - 7:16Next came the mighty rapids.
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7:16 - 7:18The Colorado River in the Grand Canyon
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7:18 - 7:21has some of the highest
white water in the country. -
7:21 - 7:24And just to be prepared
in case we should capsize, -
7:24 - 7:26we'd practice having me swim
through a smaller rapid. -
7:26 - 7:29And it's safe to say it wasn't glamorous.
-
7:29 - 7:30(Laughter)
-
7:30 - 7:33I took my breath
in the wrong part of the wave, -
7:33 - 7:34choked on river water
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7:34 - 7:37and was unable to steer myself.
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7:37 - 7:38Yes, it was scary,
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7:38 - 7:41but it was also fantastic.
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7:41 - 7:43Waterfalls, slick canyons
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7:43 - 7:45and a couple billion years of bedrock
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7:45 - 7:47that seemed to change color
throughout the day. -
7:47 - 7:50The Grand Canyon is true wilderness
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7:50 - 7:53and worthy of all of its accolades.
-
7:53 - 7:57(Applause)
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8:01 - 8:02The expedition,
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8:02 - 8:05all that planning and the trip itself,
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8:05 - 8:10showed me a level of fear
I had never experienced before. -
8:10 - 8:12But more importantly,
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8:12 - 8:16it showed me how boldly
courageous I can be. -
8:16 - 8:18My Grand Canyon journey was not easy.
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8:18 - 8:21This was not a vision
of an Amazonian woman -
8:21 - 8:25effortlessly making her way
through epic scenery. -
8:25 - 8:26This was me crying,
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8:26 - 8:30exhausted and beat up with two black eyes.
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8:30 - 8:32It was scary,
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8:32 - 8:34it was stressful,
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8:34 - 8:36it was exhilarating.
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8:37 - 8:38Now that the trip is over,
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8:38 - 8:42it's easy to be blasé
about what we achieved. -
8:42 - 8:44I know I want to raft the river again.
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8:44 - 8:48This time, all 277 miles of it.
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8:48 - 8:51(Applause)
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8:51 - 8:55But I also know that I would never do
the horseback-riding part again. -
8:55 - 8:56(Laughter)
-
8:56 - 8:59It's just too dangerous.
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8:59 - 9:01And that's my real point.
-
9:01 - 9:03I'm not just here
to show you my film footage. -
9:03 - 9:05I'm here to remind us all
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9:06 - 9:08that life is really just a lesson
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9:08 - 9:11in finding the balance
between fear and courage. -
9:11 - 9:16And understanding what is
and what isn't a good idea. -
9:16 - 9:17(Laughter)
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9:17 - 9:19Life is already scary,
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9:19 - 9:22so for our dreams to come true,
we need to be brave. -
9:22 - 9:24In facing my fears
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9:24 - 9:26and finding the courage
to push through them, -
9:26 - 9:30I swear my life has been extraordinary.
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9:30 - 9:32So live big
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9:32 - 9:35and try to let your courage
outweigh your fear. -
9:35 - 9:37You never know where it might take you.
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9:38 - 9:39Thank you.
-
9:39 - 9:42(Applause and cheers)
- Title:
- The beautiful balance between courage and fear
- Speaker:
- Cara E. Yar Khan
- Description:
-
After being diagnosed with a rare genetic condition that deteriorates muscle, Cara E. Yar Khan was told she'd have to limit her career ambitions and dial down her dreams. She ignored that advice and instead continued to pursue her biggest ambitions. In this powerful, moving talk, she shares her philosophy for working on the projects that matter to her most -- while letting courage and fear coexist. Watch for heart-stopping, vertigo-inducing footage of a trip that shows her living her theory to the full.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDTalks
- Duration:
- 09:55
Oliver Friedman edited English subtitles for The beautiful balance between courage and fear | ||
Oliver Friedman approved English subtitles for The beautiful balance between courage and fear | ||
Oliver Friedman edited English subtitles for The beautiful balance between courage and fear | ||
Joanna Pietrulewicz accepted English subtitles for The beautiful balance between courage and fear | ||
Joanna Pietrulewicz edited English subtitles for The beautiful balance between courage and fear | ||
Joanna Pietrulewicz edited English subtitles for The beautiful balance between courage and fear | ||
Ivana Korom edited English subtitles for The beautiful balance between courage and fear | ||
Ivana Korom edited English subtitles for The beautiful balance between courage and fear |