The future of religion | Philipp Möller | TEDxKoenigsallee

NOTE FROM TED: This talk represents the speaker's personal views on religion and atheism. He uses aggressive language to criticize religion that may offend some viewers. TEDx events are independently organized by volunteers. The guidelines we give TEDx organizers are described in more detail here: http://storage.ted.com/tedx/manuals/tedx_content_guidelines.pdf

The German bestselling author Phillipp Möller (“Isch geh Schulhof”, 2012) shares his critical views on religion to educate and spread the word on topics of humanism and reconnaissance. He is best known for his “without religion the world would be a better place”-speech at the first “Disput\Berlin!“ event.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx

Hi! Hello, hello.

And welcome to the future of religion,

the biggest mistake
in the history of mankind.

But before we start,

I did research yesterday -

The TEDx guys from Koenigsallee
have invited me,

and I did research yesterday

to find an answer to one
of the most important questions

in the history of mankind:

which is better, "Altbier" or "Kölsch"?

And it is Altbier, definitely!

It is much better than Kölsch.

Okay.

(Applause) (Cheering)

The title of my second book, by the way,
is "Isch hab Geisterblitz".

"Wallah, Wallah! Isch hab geisterblitz!"
You have to say it like this.

Okay, my name's Philipp Möller,

but since there is no "ö"
in the English language,

just call me Phil.

As you may have already noticed,
I am an atheist,

and there are three main reasons for that.

The first reason is,
as everybody in this world,

I was born without the belief in a god.

And since no one taught me to [believe],
I am still a natural-born atheist.

It's really that simple.

The second reason is I am a teacher's son,

and as a teacher's son,
I am a natural-born smart-ass.

I love to correct people, really,

and I love asking uncomfortable questions,

like, "What the heck
are you talking about?"

which is a very common question
to priests and religion teachers.

And the third reason is I am a Berliner,

and we, Berliners, traditionally
don't give a fuck about clerical bullshit.

So fuck you, clerics!

We know you made god up to control people,
but you're not going to control us,

all the other 82% of young Europeans
who say, "I don't need a god."

Okay, during my studies, at one time,

I had to finally decide what to do
with my life and how to earn money,

and I remember clearly that day
where I thought,

"Well, maybe I could be
a professional atheist."

And this is what I am now.

Here I am, right,

working for the Giordano Bruno Foundation,

which is a think tank
for enlightenment and humanism.

I write books, as you know.

And when I was thinking about
the question of the future of religion,

I was remembering
a quote from Terry Pratchett -

you know him.

He said, "If you don't know
where you come from,

then you don't know where you are,

and if you don't know where you are,
you don't know where you're going,

and if you don't know where you're going,
you're probably going wrong."

And since going wrong in terms of religion

means to probably blow up the whole planet
or slaughter half of mankind,

I think we should take a close look
at the history of religion,

then the present of religion

and then the future of religion.

I am not a history teacher.

So, let me get straight to the point:

the history of religion

is a history of stupidity,
cruelty and of terror.

I mean, it sounds hard, really,

but you may say now, "Hey, Phil, come on,

there are many religions,
and they are very different."

You're absolutely right,
there are many religions,

but they all have one thing in common:

they are all terribly wrong!

And by "all," I mean every one of them,

and by "terribly,"
I mean that it's almost tragic

how religion seems
to prevent people from thinking,

and this is very, very bad.

But you know, I admit there are
different forms of religion.

For example, the ancient Viking gods
are a bunch of cruel, invisible freaks.

The ancient Egypt gods
are a bunch of mummified invisible freaks,

with crazy cats and dogs and stuff.

The ancient Greek freaks
are drunk and horny as hell.

So I actually quite like them.

(Laughter)

Hinduism is a bunch
of colorful invisible freaks

with many arms to hold you

in exactly that social position
you were born in.

It's called the caste system,
and it's based on Hinduism.

Judaism is a set of silly rules
that even 90% of Jews don't follow,

but at least they have a very good humor,
so I want to tell you a rabbi joke.

There's a person coming to a rabbi saying,

"Rabbi, please, I have
this urgent wish to live forever.

What can I do?"

The rabbi says,

"Get married."

"Really? I'll live forever then?"

"No, but the wish will disappear."

(Laughter)

It's a pretty good joke.

(Applause)

I like it.

(Applause)

The clock is ticking, guys.

So, speaking of love,

Christianity, the religion of love -

uh-hu -

sounds awesome, guys, really,

if we had just known
that you meant the love for little kids.

And Islam, finally -
the religion of peace?

Are you kidding me?

Only Buddhism is a very
sophisticated way of life

for young and beautiful yoga girls.

So I have nothing to complain about that.

(Laughter)

Except that it's an esoteric
postcard philosophy

which justifies the genocide
of non-Buddhists.

Okay -

But stupidity is no excuse
for what happened about 2,000 years ago,

because when the people sat together
to create one super mighty god,

they actually weren't cruel
or silly at all.

You know, the architects of monotheism,

when they wrote those weird lyrics
of the Old Testament,

they were sitting together
to create one god,

one god to rule them all.

And the Old Testament, by the way,

is still considered
by politicians and by priests

and other criminals

as the "book of books."

I don't know, but the people
back then were not silly at all

because they could look back
on 1,500 years of Greek high culture,

and the Greeks had it all:
they had science, philosophy and arts,

the three pillars
for a happy life without religion.

The Greeks had democracy -

okay, that was kind
of weird, to be honest.

The Greeks had women's rights -

okay, they were kind of
different from today,

but they were probably better
than the women's rights today

in Saudi Arabia

or in an African village

or in a Bavarian village.

(Laughter)

They had public schools,
they had swimming halts,

they had healthcare, clean water -

They had sex, drugs and probably
some kind of rock 'n' roll.

And then, in the young
and aspiring Rome Empire,

some freaks gathered together
to create one super mighty god,

and in a short period of time,

they had turned the flourishing garden
of Europe into a dirty shithole

called the Middle Ages,

which lasted for 1,000 years.

And by the way,

I haven't talked about the "Kreuzzüge,"
about the "Hexenverbrennungen,"

the invention of hell -
what a sick and pervert idea.

I haven't talked about Luther

and his unrivaled
and raging anti-Semitism.

I haven't talked about Hitler
and his birthday party for Luther

called the "Reichskristallnacht."

I haven't talked about
the "Reichskonkordat,"

or the sexual abuse.

Because all that
is the history of religion,

and by now, I shall proceed
to the present of religion,

which is completely different
from cruelty and stupidity and terror,

and completely different
in terms of exactly the same, actually.

I know there are millions
and millions of religious people

living in peace and harmony ...

with their brothers and sisters in faith.

And I'm going to read
a list of names to you,

and let's find out
what they all have in common, okay?

That is: Vladimir Putin,

Recep Tayyip Erdoğan,

Donald Trump,

Viktor Orban,

Jarosław Kaczyński,

Alexander Gauland,

Marine Le Pen,

Horst Seehofer -

This international gang
of nationalists are all religious!

I'm not saying that every
religious politician is right-winged,

but every right-winged politician
seems to be religious.

They are using religion to create hate
against other religious people.

And let's take the
Middle East conflict, okay?

When I was born 28 years ago ...

(Laughter)

there was the Middle East conflict,

and in these 28 years,
it hasn't become any better.

No, it has become worse!

And I am pretty sure that as long
as people consider themselves

to be Jew first or Muslim first
or Christian first -

not human first -

there is no chance
for peace in this world.

Religion -

(Applause)

Religion, as it sadly appears,
is an eternal source of hate and war.

And do you think it's exagerated? No!

Take a look at Western Europe
in the 21st century.

We have the least relevance of religion,

and at the same time,
the highest rate of peace,

of personal freedom and of prosperity

in the whole history of mankind.

You want to bet?

Get on a plane, fly to any Islamic state,

and you will see that you will land
right in the Middle Ages,

only with Wi-Fi and ABC weapons.

And even in the heart of Europe,

there is one country

where the separation between the state
and religion is not finished at all,

and that, of course,
is the "Church Republic of Germany,"

where the Church takes us
withdrawn by the government,

where employment laws do not apply
to religious social institutions,

and they are also paid 98% by the state.

So, thank you, God, for 2%

and that the so-called
"inventors of charity"

are allowed to fire Jews, Muslims,
atheists and homosexuals for no reason.

We have laws for circumcision,

we have laws for euthanasia -

We have actually so many laws
that are based on religious things

that you could say
that from the craddle to the grave,

we are escorted by religion.

And that's in a country
where 80%, for example,

in terms of euthanasia,

say, "Hey, there's only one person
that decides about my death,

and that is myself -

no politician, no doctor and no priest."

And still, the German Court
has ratified a law

that criminalizes euthanasia.

But there's another enemy right now
of the open and modern society,

and also, if that sentence
could make me false friends,

I'll still say it:

some of the cultural
and religious elements of Islam

are just not compatible
with a modern society.

It is like that!

I'm very sorry for that,
but it is just like that.

Religious self-determination,
women's rights,

secular legal system -
just to name three things -

those are not compatible with Islam.

It's just like that.

And the rise of Islam, again,
empowers the original haters of freedom,

which are the Christian right wing.

So, living in Europe today,

you could think that you are surrounded
by conservative assholes

and religious maniacs.

But it's not like that;
they are just louder -

but we are more.

By the time of World War II,

99% of the people in Germany
were Christians,

and today, 26.5% are Prostestants
and 28.5% are Catholic,

while a whopping 36%
are not in organized faith at all.

Twelve percent are
active believers in Germany,

and 82% say, "I am happy
without God," in Europe.

So, it's not true that you are surrounded;
we, actually, surround them.

We just have to get better politics.

And this is where we start
to talk about the future of religion.

Actually, this presentation
could have been

like sex with a Catholic priest:

quick and dirty.

I would have shown you a white screen

and say, "This is how I imagine
the future of religion."

It just doesn't exist anymore.

I mean, it sounds hard, but imagine:

above us, only sky; no Heaven.

Imagine that there would be
no terror and no silly prayers

against the terror that was evoked
by prayers in the first place.

No more Middle East conflict,

no more amateur choirs
with guitars out of tune -

No more smug-faced priests
nourished by society,

contributing nothing else
but incomprehensible nonsense

and ethical ideas from the past.

Doesn't that sound like paradise to you?

Well, to me, it does, honestly.

And I find it quite ironic

that the absense of the ideology
that they told us would bring us paradise

is bringing us paradise.

I was reading a story about a guy.

He was brought up
as a Jehovah's Witness, you know:

no birthday, no blood transfusion,

and they really believe that one day,

Jesus will come and save them
and kill everyone else.

And do you know how he got healed
from this form of mental illness?

By information.

He read a Wikipedia article
about his own religion!

(Laughter)

And that's so simple!

And later, he wrote a book
and he found out

that the more Internet we have,
the less religious we get.

Information seems to be
the best remedy againt religion.

And so, I know it sounds super religious,

but that guy called the moment
when he read that article his "awakening."

And this is actually what I wish
for religious people: to wake up.

I'm not saying you're foolish,
but you obviously have been fooled

by a system which doesn't serve you,
but only the leaders.

My idea would be that you should read
something about religion,

and maybe about a very
different religion from yours,

and one day, there will be
this moment when you think,

"Wow, this is a super weird religion,"

and this is exactly
how I feel about your religion.

(Laughter)

That's empathy.

To be honest, I hope for religion
to slowly disappear

and be replaced by a rational system

that enables 8 billion people
to live together in peace in this world.

I am really hoping for that.

But who am I?

Who are we, the professional atheists,
the secular humanists,

to have a naive wish like this?

But before we continue
making the same religious mistakes

we have done in 2,000 and more years,

I have an idea -

or maybe I should call it
"an urgent suggestion":

why don't we make religion
just a private matter?

This is my suggestion.

Why don't we see religion
even as a thing of intimacy?

Imagine religion,
as an Internet meme says,

like a penis:

it's okay to have one,
it's okay not to have one,

it's even okay to be proud of it,

but please don't
swing it around in public,

don't write any laws with it,

and leave my kids alone, [away from] it!

It's very simple!

(Applause)

I think we can agree on that, can't we?
Because this way, everybody wins!

The religious people can keep their god
or gods or holy camoly,

and we just don't have
to take care about it, really.

It's that simple.

I mean, we don't want to hear
your church bells ring on Sunday morning

or your imams sing five times a day!

Get a bloody Bluetooth speaker!

It's that simple!

(Laughter)

I know,

religion as private matter is the opposite
of what religious leaders want

because that way,
they would lose their job,

but this is exactly what I aim for.

They're still trying to tell us

that religion is the remedy
for all of humanity's problems.

Guys, it hasn't worked in 2,000 years,

and it won't work in the future.

I'm pretty sure.

Thank you.

(Applause)

Or as my friend
Michael Schmidt-Salomon says,

whose birthday is today -
so happy birthday, Michael -

"We should kill bad ideas
before bad ideas kill people."

And to the politicians,

you have probably bet
on the lame horse for much too long,

because being religious is no longer
a guarantee for good votes.

I really think we live in wild times.

There is climate change -

There is populism, nationalism -

There is protectionism,
there is digitalization -

Do you think prayers will help?

No, I think if we want
a future of humanity,

the future of religion
must be a private matter.

Thank you.

(Applause) (Cheering)

Thanks.

Thank you.