English subtitles

← Slimmers haven't a clue about the slim | Marina Maggi | TEDxKirovka

Get Embed Code
3 Languages

Showing Revision 22 created 07/01/2018 by Robert Tucker.

  1. Good evening, Chelyabinsk.
  2. My name is Marina Maggi.
  3. Today my topic is:
  4. Slimmers haven't a clue about the slim.
  5. I have dedicated
    the greater part of my life
  6. to recovery from acute food addiction.
  7. In February 2013,
    my weight was already 92 kg.
  8. Three years ago,
    I looked something like this.
  9. Not the easiest time in my life.
  10. I began each day promising myself
  11. that today would be
    the day I changed my life.
  12. But by lunchtime, the person who'd made
    that promise that morning had vanished.
  13. By supper no trace
    of determination remained.
  14. I sank into failure,
  15. punished myself with a sense of guilt,
  16. conclusions about myself ...
  17. This went on for
    about 10 years of my life ...
  18. every day.
  19. Can you imagine?
  20. I thought, "What's wrong with me?
    Why isn't it working?"
  21. There really was
    something wrong with me.
  22. The fact was that all this time
    I was a "slimmer",
  23. an absolutely typical slimmer
  24. with an absolutely typical slimmer's type
    of thinking and level of consciousness.
  25. Even when I succeeded
    in losing weight through my efforts,
  26. I always just remained a "slimmer".
  27. Today my topic is called:
  28. "Slimmers haven't a clue about the slim."
  29. And I would like to add:
  30. "... that's why you didn't lose weight."
  31. So, let's get started.
  32. With a career of more than
    16 years as a coach,
  33. the last four years
    working closely with slimmers,
  34. I find a very strong similarity
    among them.
  35. And, where there's similarity,
    systemacity is to be found.
  36. I divide slimmers into three categories,
    depending on the level of excess weight.
  37. The first: the indulgent.
    They're 3-5 kg overweight.
  38. The second: the suffering.
    They're 10-15 kg and above overweight.
  39. The third: sectarians.
    They are not overweight at all.
  40. Before I continue, I want to say,
  41. that all coincidences with actual people
    are pure coincidence.
  42. To be clear, I do not mean it about you
    if you don't think it applies to you.
  43. So, "the indulgent".
  44. The indulgent, these are girls
    with excess weight of 3-5 kg.
  45. Let's just say they have
    no serious weight problem,
  46. but they already sense
    uncomfortable changes at the microlevel.
  47. Jeans don't sit properly in places,
    the swimsuit doesn't do up.
  48. At the microlevel, they're already uneasy,
    but are not yet doing anything about it.
  49. They are not ready to take real action.
  50. The indulgent like to talk a lot
    about losing weight,
  51. love to put it into heads all around
    that they need to lose weight.
  52. Sounds familiar?
  53. I think men will understand me now,
  54. if they have "indulgent" women.
  55. Some are frankly given to hysterics,
  56. others behave more delicately,
  57. tearfully grimacing,
    portraying painful emotion.
  58. In a word, those who whine a lot,
    and, ultimately, do nothing.
  59. I'll tell you about the games they play
  60. by which they manipulate us
    and deceive themselves.
  61. The indulgent do not feel pain
    from the excess weight itself.
  62. They feel guilty
    because they see the problem
  63. and do not do anything about it.
  64. In order to somehow justify themselves,
  65. they, at first, go on about it a lot,
    because it gives them a sense of action,
  66. or an illusion of action
    towards a solution.
  67. We often do this regardless of whether
    there's a weight problem or not.
  68. And the second: those who indulge
    and take on the role of a martyr,
  69. they seem to suffer.
  70. Why do they suffer?
  71. Because martyrs in our society
    are always justified, always good.
  72. With us, this is even found
    on a legislative level.
  73. Repentance as a mitigating circumstance
    in determining guilt.
  74. I just happen to have a legal education,
    at least it came in handy somewhere.
  75. So, the indulgent.
  76. On the one hand,
    they submittingly admit they do,
  77. on the other, they're OK.
  78. They assuage themselves
    with: "It's no problem,
  79. one can continue to indulge
    and not lose weight."
  80. This is a visceral,
    manipulative game they play.
  81. With this, they really irritate us,
    because we all have to listen to it.
  82. The suffering are the second category.
  83. The suffering are of the indulgent.
  84. The principal difference from the first
  85. is that it is a full blown problem
    with inescapable extra kilos.
  86. The suffering are girls
    who will no longer be whining.
  87. They will not say that they have
    put on weight and need to lose weight,
  88. because they know
    that it will result in the response
  89. "Yes, you need to lose weight,"
    or silence confirming their own view.
  90. They already, most likely, have problems
    with self-esteem and confidence,
  91. they do not like to go shopping.
  92. Most likely, one of them has already
    lost a guy citing outright the problem.
  93. They do not like to be photographed.
  94. The suffering experience pain
    directly from the excess weight.
  95. If the pain of the indulgent
    is a sense of guilt from inaction,
  96. then the pain of the suffering
    is in the excess weight itself.
  97. The suffering also fall
    into this category of slimmers.
  98. The third category.
  99. The indulgent or the suffering
    may well become familiar with effort,
  100. and with the help of effort
    they manage to lose those extra kilos.
  101. They become slimmer,
  102. but go on to the next category:
    sectarian slimmers.
  103. Sectarian slimmers are slim people.
  104. Physiologically they have
    no weight problem.
  105. The problem is that they still
    continue with their efforts.
  106. They continue their efforts,
    they're fixed on them.
  107. They're fixed on food, what they eat:
    when, at what time and how much?
  108. They're fixed on diet, nutrient values,
    diet compatibility, exercise:
  109. when, at what time,
    before or after exercise?
  110. They are not well balanced,
    they are pendulums.
  111. They tend to periodically put on weight
  112. in order to feel alive
    and then start to lose weight again.
  113. Sectarians: why do I call them sectarians?
  114. Because sectarians tend to create
    a religion around their body.
  115. They are people who believe in effort,
  116. who believe that the body
    is to be subjected to just such hard work.
  117. This work is superhuman expenditure
    yielding a result.
  118. Faith unites them in their effort.
  119. I study physiology,
  120. the theory of functional systems
    of Pyotr Kuzmich Anokhin.
  121. And I want to talk about
    effort and willpower.
  122. There are two concepts:
    willpower and effort.
  123. Two different concepts, though
    many put an equals sign between them.
  124. [Willpower ≠ effort]
  125. Effort is not physiological, and today
    I'll tell you what it's fraught with.
  126. Exercising on the energy of willpower
    is not dangerous in itself.
  127. First, you know
    that you have the willpower
  128. as well as strength in your biceps.
  129. You know that without any outward display.
  130. You can apply willpower
    towards a possibility
  131. since one might say
  132. that given the availability,
    there is some potential.
  133. When movement is willpower driven,
  134. you do not need recovery, deep rest.
  135. Willpower does not create
    a fear of future steps,
  136. of future accomplishments.
  137. Effort is the opposite.
  138. Effort: the etymology of the word
    implies a doubling of force, put simply.
  139. You apply twice the force,
    you overstrain yourself.
  140. Half of that force is spent
    suppressing internal resistance
  141. which is all out of line
    with your natural physiology.
  142. Only with the other half
  143. do you seem to be progressing
    towards a possibility.
  144. All physiology is based on
    the principles of balance.
  145. If your system deviates from the norm,
    your system wants to restabilize itself:
  146. to stabilize itself by balancing out
    deviations to the degree necessary.
  147. In other words, for the deviations
    resulting from your effort -
  148. and you deviate
  149. because there is a discharge
    of energy and a recoil from it -
  150. your system provides a balance,
    to wit a positive feeling.
  151. So when you put effort into your body,
  152. you expect a reward.
  153. You add to what you demand of your body,
  154. but the body is physiological
    and can give you nothing but the norm,
  155. because the body or organism
    is like the Sun or the weather,
  156. it is impossible to meet this demand,
  157. it does not play with us
    in these demand games.
  158. But we know how to get round this.
  159. We need recompensation
    in some way for our efforts.
  160. And what recompensation
    provides a positive feeling for us?
  161. It's hearing flattery
    and compliments about our bodies.
  162. Vanity was not simply acknowledged
    as one of the most basic mortal sins:
  163. its test is passed by few.
  164. Sectarians are people
    who believe in effort,
  165. and in order to balance
    deviation with positive feeling
  166. they need to hear the voice of believers.
  167. Their bodies are a totem,
  168. a temple of worship, an altar of worship.
  169. The indulgent and the suffering,
    their believers come every day
  170. to the temple of Instagram
  171. and put candles in the form of "likes".
  172. The sectarians themselves are deeply
    rooted in faith in their own bodies,
  173. consider themselves to be special.
  174. Believe me, I know trainers,
  175. who see that they are really worshipped.
  176. That's not religion?
  177. But all would be nothing,
    but for another law of physiology
  178. about adaptation
    to an already existing deviation,
  179. about adaptation to external stimulus,
  180. according to which any deviation
    later becomes normal.
  181. The system adapts and ceases
    to respond to the stimulus.
  182. What does this mean for us:
  183. it means that, in order for the system
    to react again to the next stimulus,
  184. be aroused by the following stimulus,
  185. the dose must be constantly raised,
    or sectarians cease to feel worship.
  186. This means that they need
    the voices of new believers.
  187. And the indulgent and the suffering,
  188. they also restabilize with respect to
    the perception of the external stimulus,
  189. and they will put a new candle
    in the form of a "like" just in case,
  190. if a new sectarian action
  191. demonstrates a skill
    beyond the previous one.
  192. We drive ourselves into a system in which
    we constantly amplify deviations,
  193. deviating even more from the norm.
  194. So, we have three categories:
  195. the indulgent,
  196. the suffering
  197. and the sectarians.
  198. So, I've now told you about
    all three categories of slimmers.
  199. Why are sectarians treated as slimmers?
  200. Because despite the fact
    that it seems that physiologically
  201. they do not have a weight problem,
  202. they nevertheless,
    in their mindset, remain slimmers.
  203. They eat much the same way ...
  204. In the picture, coaches who do not know
    how to impress their believing followers.
  205. Here there is already overamplification.
  206. Sectarians use ideas in the same way.
  207. They preach effort,
  208. monitor, forbid,
    place great expectations on bodies,
  209. manipulate the rate of weight loss.
  210. They often have breakdowns in their lives,
  211. after which they have a sense of reversal,
    guilt, punish themselves,
  212. draw conclusions about themselves.
  213. The picture is identical:
    in terms of their mentality,
  214. they are no different from
    the indulgent and the suffering.
  215. Only, the sectarians
    have two further problems:
  216. fear of loss of results
  217. and fear of loss of surrogate pleasure
    from derived gains of vanity.
  218. Observing the practice of slimmers
    for very many years,
  219. being myself of the category,
  220. I noticed,
  221. slimmers forget how to be slim.
  222. And they begin to act out
    the image of the slender,
  223. follow their models,
    create models, the image of the slim.
  224. Whom do they see before them?
  225. An image of the sectarian slimmer
  226. with overplayed ideas
    on healthy living and nutrition.
  227. Right, after all, someone who creates
    a religion around her body
  228. is always going to be rather imperious.
  229. They need new followers, new believers,
    new candles in the form of "likes".
  230. They take banners, go outside,
  231. and try to convert
    everyone to their faith.
  232. And they are good at it.
  233. Slimmers do react to these signals.
  234. But, I remind you, I consider all three
    categories to be those of slimmers.
  235. And who are such
    "healthy, slender people"?
  236. The fundamental difference between
    a healthy, slender person and a slimmer
  237. is that healthy, slender people
    do not lose weight.
  238. First, they don't lose weight
    in their minds,
  239. don't lose weight in their thoughts.
  240. So they succeed.
  241. And if you get close to
    a healthy, slim person,
  242. do you know what you find?
  243. Nothing.
  244. You will discover nothing.
  245. They do not think about food,
  246. do not think more about eating
    than about using the toilet,
  247. don't make a religion of their bodies,
  248. photos of figures stripped for gym
    from all angles are also unlikely.
  249. Addressed with hot compliments,
  250. such people will most likely
    react with embarrassment,
  251. genuinely not understanding why there's
    such excitement about their body.
  252. And it's all just so.
  253. The excitement forms in the minds of those
    for whom to have such a body
  254. means work, effort,
    unearthly power of abstinence.
  255. Slimmers, becoming thinner through effort,
  256. crave for compensation
    for the lost calorie input.
  257. These people write books about
    the difficult path of the Samurai
  258. and film documentaries about themselves
    craving reward for their effort.
  259. For a healthy, slim person, such a body
  260. is completely natural,
    something given at birth.
  261. They do not do anything special
    to maintain their bodies.
  262. Healthy, slender people
    will not impose aggressive motivation
  263. with posters about slimming,
  264. because there is no gain from vanity.
  265. They don't get carried away with effort.
  266. Healthy, slender people
    won't call you a fat-ass
  267. because they are not
    angry about fat people.
  268. Fat people don't annoy them.
  269. They've no cause for anger with them.
  270. Anger dwells in those
    whose lives centre on effort.
  271. It is their own so special game.
  272. The more they hate fat
    and the fuller body,
  273. the easier it is for them not to give in
    and go that way themselves.
  274. Healthy, slender people are,
    for the most part, calm,
  275. at least not irritated by fat people.
  276. There is one problem
    with healthy, slender people.
  277. They do not pay
    any attention to themselves.
  278. They, for the most part,
    have no special characteristics.
  279. And I am here today,
    my talk devoted to this fact,
  280. to shift your focus of attention
    from those who go with banners
  281. to those who most often remain unnoticed.
  282. Because you should orientate
    yourselves towards them,
  283. no matter how strange it may sound.
  284. Do not expect healthy, slender people
    to sound off about their inconspicuity.
  285. It would be very strange.
    Nothing you'll hear.
  286. Healthy, slender people are inconspicuous.
  287. And your task, your job,
  288. is to pay attention to such people
    if you are worried about excess weight.
  289. Pay attention to them
    and start watching them.
  290. Who are they? How do they live?
  291. What do they think about?
    How do they relate to food?
  292. My sister became such a teacher for me.
  293. I lived together with her for 30 years,
    and I didn't notice that she was healthy.
  294. I looked to obsessed coaches
  295. who do not let go of motivational slogans,
  296. but I realized
    who was really my motivation,
  297. when I realized what result I wanted.
  298. I wanted to be just as crazy,
  299. or I wanted to be healthy, calm and slim?
  300. When I realized this,
    I did not tell my sister about it.
  301. I just started to watch her.
  302. And you know, it changed everything.
  303. I understood why I had not
    lost weight all that time.
  304. I had generally gone
    the entirely wrong way about it.
  305. You see, slim sectarians,
    after losing weight,
  306. became even more fixed
    on the topic of food.
  307. In their heads, there was
    ever more confusion about food.
  308. With my sister this was not the case.
  309. Not at all.
  310. She did not think about food.
  311. And it really shifted my thinking,
  312. because I realized
    the direction I had to go in.
  313. My direction had to be
  314. to rid my head of nonsense
    in my approach to slimming.
  315. Above all, no more nonsense.
  316. This was the path I took,
  317. but, on the other hand,
    it also became for me a strong test,
  318. one of the strongest tests,
  319. because I began to not understand
    how not to think about the white bear.
  320. How not to think about food,
    when you already think about it?
  321. It really was a very
    difficult task, believe me.
  322. But it was she who changed my idea,
  323. that's why I'm currently
    working with slimmers
  324. and helping them to renormalize
    away from food addiction.
  325. Slimmers cannot imagine
    how a healthy, slender person thinks.
  326. And your task is really to start watching
  327. those who for the most part remain
    unnoticed, balanced and calm.
  328. Start to observe the inconspicuous,
  329. start watching those
    who are even-keeled towards food,
  330. unworried.
  331. I'm now starting to conclude,
  332. and in closing I would like to address
    each of those categories
  333. about which I spoke today.
  334. Indulgent: stop spoiling yourself.
  335. Playing with being overweight
    is a very dangerous game,
  336. and recovery is
    a very time-consuming, long process.
  337. Believe me, I speak as a person
    who is still recovering.
  338. Noticing changes at the microlevel?
  339. Take action.
  340. Sign up at the gym, cut down portions.
  341. Act, don't whine, or you'll inevitably
    end up in the sufferer category.
  342. Sufferers, you can become subject
    to the hullabaloo of the sectarians,
  343. and if you fall in with effort,
    then for sure you will end up among them.
  344. You'll develop ever more
    fixed ideas on food,
  345. and you will become
    ever more confused about what to eat.
  346. You will realize
    that this was a false way,
  347. that you didn't find there
    what you sought.
  348. You are still not
    well balanced, not healthy.
  349. You've not recovered, you've just moved
    into another category of illness.
  350. Think about whether you need
    to make this detour?
  351. After all, at its height, it's the same,
    just removed from its normal location.
  352. Sectarians, forgive me
    for such a comparison,
  353. I know that among you
    there are many of my friends.
  354. I hope they'll not expose
    my critical remarks.
  355. I'm a fitness coach and understand
  356. that, in a sense, I spit into the well
    from which I myself drink.
  357. But I just want this well to be cleaner.
  358. I just want it to be less turbid.
  359. Sectarians, you already
    have the main thing -
  360. a slender body that is beautiful,
    that motivates and inspires.
  361. You are already chosen as a benchmark
    for those who indulge and suffer.
  362. You have power and influence.
  363. So become a true example of the health
    and integrity of a living cell.
  364. Healthy and slender people,
    my last appeal goes to you.
  365. Most likely, you do not even know
    that you are healthy.
  366. I personally know many healthy people
    who caught the weight loss bug
  367. because those around them began to slim
  368. and they decided that it was not normal
    to not think about eating so much.
  369. I have good news for you.
  370. You are perfectly fine.
  371. You are healthy.
  372. Remain an example to us all,
  373. well balanced, calm.
  374. We will quietly watch you and learn.
  375. Thank you.
  376. (Applause)