How America fails new parents -- and their babies | Jessica Shortall | TEDxSMU
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0:00 - 0:03What does a working mother look like?
-
0:03 - 0:06If you ask the Internet,
this is what you'll be told. -
0:07 - 0:11Never mind that this is
what you'll actually produce -
0:11 - 0:14if you attempt to work at a computer
with a baby on your lap. -
0:14 - 0:15(Laughter)
-
0:15 - 0:18But no, this is a working mother.
-
0:18 - 0:22You'll notice a theme in these photos.
We'll look at a lot of them. -
0:22 - 0:24That theme is amazing natural lighting,
-
0:24 - 0:27which, as we all know,
-
0:27 - 0:31is the hallmark
of every American workplace. -
0:31 - 0:35There are thousands of images like these.
-
0:35 - 0:38Just put the term "working mother"
into any Google image search engine, -
0:38 - 0:40stock photo site.
-
0:40 - 0:41They're all over the Internet,
-
0:41 - 0:43they're topping
blog posts and news pieces, -
0:43 - 0:48and I've become kind of obsessed with them
and the lie that they tell us -
0:48 - 0:50and the comfort that they give us,
-
0:50 - 0:53that when it comes
to new working motherhood in America, -
0:53 - 0:55everything's fine.
-
0:55 - 0:57But it's not fine.
-
0:57 - 1:00As a country, we are sending
millions of women back to work -
1:00 - 1:04every year, incredibly
and kind of horrifically soon -
1:04 - 1:06after they give birth.
-
1:06 - 1:07That's a moral problem
-
1:07 - 1:11but today I'm also going to tell you
why it's an economic problem. -
1:11 - 1:15I got so annoyed and obsessed
with the unreality of these images, -
1:15 - 1:17which look nothing like my life,
-
1:17 - 1:22that I recently decided to shoot and star
in a parody series of stock photos -
1:22 - 1:24that I hoped the world would start to use
-
1:24 - 1:29just showing the really awkward reality
of going back to work -
1:29 - 1:32when your baby's food source
is attached to your body. -
1:33 - 1:36I'm just going to show you two of them.
-
1:36 - 1:38(Laughter)
-
1:38 - 1:41Nothing says "Give that girl a promotion"
like leaking breast milk -
1:41 - 1:43through your dress during a presentation.
-
1:43 - 1:45You'll notice that there's
no baby in this photo, -
1:46 - 1:48because that's not how this works,
-
1:48 - 1:50not for most working mothers.
-
1:51 - 1:53Did you know, and this will ruin your day,
-
1:53 - 1:56that every time a toilet is flushed,
its contents are aerosolized -
1:56 - 1:58and they'll stay airborne for hours?
-
1:58 - 2:01And yet, for many new working mothers,
-
2:01 - 2:04this is the only place during the day
that they can find to make food -
2:04 - 2:06for their newborn babies.
-
2:07 - 2:10I put these things,
a whole dozen of them, into the world. -
2:10 - 2:12I wanted to make a point.
-
2:12 - 2:15I didn't know what I was also doing
was opening a door, -
2:15 - 2:19because now, total strangers
from all walks of life -
2:19 - 2:21write to me all the time
-
2:21 - 2:25just to tell me what it's like
for them to go back to work -
2:25 - 2:28within days or weeks of having a baby.
-
2:28 - 2:30I'm going to share
10 of their stories with you today. -
2:30 - 2:34They are totally real,
some of them are very raw, -
2:34 - 2:37and not one of them
looks anything like this. -
2:38 - 2:40Here's the first.
-
2:40 - 2:44"I was an active duty
service member at a federal prison. -
2:44 - 2:48I returned to work after the maximum
allowed eight weeks for my C-section. -
2:48 - 2:52A male coworker was annoyed
that I had been out on 'vacation,' -
2:52 - 2:56so he intentionally opened the door on me
while I was pumping breast milk -
2:56 - 3:00and stood in the doorway
with inmates in the hallway." -
3:00 - 3:03Most of the stories that these women,
total strangers, send to me now, -
3:03 - 3:05are not actually even about breastfeeding.
-
3:05 - 3:07A woman wrote to me to say,
-
3:07 - 3:12"I gave birth to twins and went back
to work after seven unpaid weeks. -
3:12 - 3:14Emotionally, I was a wreck.
-
3:14 - 3:18Physically, I had a severe hemorrhage
during labor, and major tearing, -
3:18 - 3:21so I could barely get up, sit or walk.
-
3:21 - 3:25My employer told me I wasn't allowed
to use my available vacation days -
3:25 - 3:27because it was budget season."
-
3:28 - 3:32I've come to believe that we can't look
situations like these in the eye -
3:32 - 3:34because then we'd be horrified,
-
3:34 - 3:37and if we get horrified
then we have to do something about it. -
3:37 - 3:41So we choose to look at,
and believe, this image. -
3:41 - 3:44I don't really know
what's going on in this picture, -
3:44 - 3:46because I find it weird
and slightly creepy. -
3:46 - 3:48(Laughter)
-
3:48 - 3:49Like, what is she doing?
-
3:49 - 3:53But I know what it tells us.
-
3:53 - 3:56It tells us that everything's fine.
-
3:56 - 3:59This working mother, all working mothers
and all of their babies, are fine. -
3:59 - 4:01There's nothing to see here.
-
4:01 - 4:05And anyway, women have made a choice,
-
4:05 - 4:07so none of it's even our problem.
-
4:07 - 4:10I want to break this choice thing
down into two parts. -
4:10 - 4:14The first choice says
that women have chosen to work. -
4:14 - 4:16So, that's not true.
-
4:16 - 4:21Today in America, women make up
47 percent of the workforce, -
4:21 - 4:23and in 40 percent of American households
-
4:23 - 4:27a woman is the sole
or primary breadwinner. -
4:27 - 4:31Our paid work is a part, a huge part,
of the engine of this economy, -
4:31 - 4:34and it is essential
for the engines of our families. -
4:34 - 4:38On a national level,
our paid work is not optional. -
4:38 - 4:41Choice number two says that women
are choosing to have babies, -
4:41 - 4:44so women alone should bear
the consequences of those choices. -
4:46 - 4:48You know, that's one of those things
-
4:48 - 4:50that when you hear it in passing,
can sound correct. -
4:50 - 4:52I didn't make you have a baby.
-
4:52 - 4:54I certainly wasn't there
when that happened. -
4:54 - 5:00But that stance
ignores a fundamental truth, -
5:00 - 5:05which is that our procreation
on a national scale is not optional. -
5:05 - 5:09The babies that women, many of them
working women, are having today, -
5:10 - 5:13will one day fill our workforce,
protect our shores, -
5:13 - 5:15make up our tax base.
-
5:15 - 5:19Our procreation
on a national scale is not optional. -
5:19 - 5:20These aren't choices.
-
5:20 - 5:24We need women to work.
We need working women to have babies. -
5:24 - 5:27So we should make
doing those things at the same time -
5:27 - 5:28at least palatable, right?
-
5:29 - 5:32OK, this is pop quiz time:
-
5:32 - 5:35what percentage of working
women in America do you think -
5:35 - 5:38have no access to paid maternity leave?
-
5:39 - 5:4188 percent.
-
5:42 - 5:4588 percent of working mothers
will not get one minute of paid leave -
5:45 - 5:47after they have a baby.
-
5:47 - 5:50So now you're thinking about unpaid leave.
-
5:50 - 5:54It exists in America.
It's called FMLA. It does not work. -
5:54 - 5:57Because of the way it's structured,
all kinds of exceptions, -
5:57 - 6:01half of new mothers are ineligible for it.
-
6:01 - 6:02Here's what that looks like.
-
6:04 - 6:06"We adopted our son.
-
6:06 - 6:10When I got the call, the day he was born,
I had to take off work. -
6:10 - 6:14I had not been there long enough
to qualify for FMLA, -
6:14 - 6:16so I wasn't eligible for unpaid leave.
-
6:16 - 6:19When I took time off
to meet my newborn son, -
6:19 - 6:20I lost my job."
-
6:22 - 6:27These corporate stock photos
hide another reality, another layer. -
6:27 - 6:30Of those who do have access
to just that unpaid leave, -
6:30 - 6:34most women can't afford
to take much of it at all. -
6:34 - 6:37A nurse told me, "I didn't qualify
for short-term disability -
6:37 - 6:41because my pregnancy
was considered a preexisting condition. -
6:41 - 6:44We used up all of our tax returns
and half of our savings -
6:44 - 6:46during my six unpaid weeks.
-
6:46 - 6:47We just couldn't manage any longer.
-
6:48 - 6:50Physically it was hard,
but emotionally it was worse. -
6:50 - 6:53I struggled for months
being away from my son." -
6:53 - 6:56So this decision
to go back to work so early, -
6:56 - 7:00it's a rational economic decision
driven by family finances, -
7:00 - 7:02but it's often physically horrific
-
7:02 - 7:06because putting a human
into the world is messy. -
7:06 - 7:07A waitress told me,
-
7:07 - 7:11"With my first baby, I was back
at work five weeks postpartum. -
7:11 - 7:14With my second, I had to have
major surgery after giving birth, -
7:14 - 7:17so I waited until six weeks to go back.
-
7:17 - 7:19I had third degree tears."
-
7:21 - 7:2423 percent of new
working mothers in America -
7:24 - 7:29will be back on the job
within two weeks of giving birth. -
7:30 - 7:35"I worked as a bartender and cook,
average of 75 hours a week while pregnant. -
7:35 - 7:38I had to return to work
before my baby was a month old, -
7:38 - 7:40working 60 hours a week.
-
7:40 - 7:45One of my coworkers was only able
to afford 10 days off with her baby." -
7:45 - 7:49Of course, this isn't just a scenario
with economic and physical implications. -
7:49 - 7:54Childbirth is, and always will be,
an enormous psychological event. -
7:54 - 7:56A teacher told me,
-
7:56 - 7:59"I returned to work
eight weeks after my son was born. -
7:59 - 8:01I already suffer from anxiety,
-
8:01 - 8:06but the panic attacks I had prior
to returning to work were unbearable." -
8:06 - 8:08Statistically speaking,
-
8:08 - 8:11the shorter a woman's leave
after having a baby, -
8:11 - 8:14the more likely she will be to suffer
from postpartum mood disorders -
8:14 - 8:16like depression and anxiety,
-
8:17 - 8:21and among many potential
consequences of those disorders, -
8:21 - 8:24suicide is the second
most common cause of death -
8:24 - 8:26in a woman's first year postpartum.
-
8:27 - 8:29Heads up that this next story --
-
8:29 - 8:33I've never met this woman,
but I find it hard to get through. -
8:33 - 8:38"I feel tremendous grief and rage
that I lost an essential, -
8:38 - 8:41irreplaceable and formative
time with my son. -
8:42 - 8:45Labor and delivery
left me feeling absolutely broken. -
8:45 - 8:50For months, all I remember
is the screaming: colic, they said. -
8:50 - 8:52On the inside, I was drowning.
-
8:52 - 8:55Every morning, I asked myself
how much longer I could do it. -
8:56 - 8:59I was allowed to bring my baby to work.
-
8:59 - 9:02I closed my office door
while I rocked and shushed -
9:02 - 9:05and begged him to stop screaming
so I wouldn't get in trouble. -
9:05 - 9:07I hid behind that office door
every damn day -
9:07 - 9:09and cried while he screamed.
-
9:09 - 9:13I cried in the bathroom
while I washed out the pump equipment. -
9:13 - 9:16Every day, I cried all the way to work
and all the way home again. -
9:16 - 9:19I promised my boss that the work
I didn't get done during the day, -
9:19 - 9:21I'd make up at night from home.
-
9:21 - 9:25I thought, there's just something
wrong with me that I can't swing this." -
9:27 - 9:29So those are the mothers.
-
9:29 - 9:31What of the babies?
-
9:31 - 9:33As a country, do we care
about the millions of babies -
9:33 - 9:35born every year to working mothers?
-
9:35 - 9:37I say we don't,
-
9:37 - 9:40not until they're of working
and tax-paying and military-serving age. -
9:40 - 9:42We tell them we'll see them in 18 years,
-
9:42 - 9:44and getting there is kind of on them.
-
9:46 - 9:49One of the reasons I know this
is that babies whose mothers -
9:49 - 9:51have 12 or more weeks at home with them
-
9:51 - 9:55are more likely to get their vaccinations
and their well checks in their first year, -
9:55 - 10:00so those babies are more protected
from deadly and disabling diseases. -
10:00 - 10:03But those things are hidden
behind images like this. -
10:06 - 10:12America has a message for new mothers
who work and for their babies. -
10:12 - 10:16Whatever time you get together,
you should be grateful for it, -
10:16 - 10:18and you're an inconvenience
-
10:18 - 10:21to the economy and to your employers.
-
10:21 - 10:26That narrative of gratitude
runs through a lot of the stories I hear. -
10:26 - 10:28A woman told me,
-
10:28 - 10:30"I went back at eight weeks
after my C-section -
10:30 - 10:32because my husband was out of work.
-
10:32 - 10:34Without me, my daughter
had failure to thrive. -
10:34 - 10:36She wouldn't take a bottle.
-
10:36 - 10:37She started losing weight.
-
10:37 - 10:40Thankfully, my manager
was very understanding. -
10:40 - 10:42He let my mom bring my baby,
-
10:42 - 10:44who was on oxygen and a monitor,
-
10:44 - 10:46four times a shift so I could nurse her."
-
10:48 - 10:51There's a little club
of countries in the world -
10:51 - 10:55that offer no national
paid leave to new mothers. -
10:55 - 10:58Care to guess who they are?
-
10:58 - 11:02The first eight make up eight million
in total population. -
11:02 - 11:05They are Papua New Guinea,
Suriname and the tiny island nations -
11:05 - 11:11of Micronesia, Marshall Islands,
Nauru, Niue, Palau and Tonga. -
11:11 - 11:14Number nine is the United
States of America, -
11:14 - 11:16with 320 million people.
-
11:17 - 11:20Oh, that's it.
-
11:20 - 11:22That's the end of the list.
-
11:22 - 11:24Every other economy on the planet
-
11:24 - 11:28has found a way to make some level
of national paid leave work -
11:28 - 11:31for the people doing the work
of the future of those countries, -
11:31 - 11:35but we say,
"We couldn't possibly do that." -
11:35 - 11:37We say that the market
will solve this problem, -
11:37 - 11:42and then we cheer when corporations
offer even more paid leave to the women -
11:42 - 11:45who are already the highest-educated
and highest-paid among us. -
11:45 - 11:47Remember that 88 percent?
-
11:47 - 11:51Those middle- and low-income women
are not going to participate in that. -
11:52 - 11:57We know that there are staggering
economic, financial, physical -
11:57 - 12:00and emotional costs to this approach.
-
12:00 - 12:04We have decided --
decided, not an accident, -
12:04 - 12:08to pass these costs directly
on to working mothers and their babies. -
12:08 - 12:11We know the price tag is higher
for low-income women, -
12:11 - 12:13therefore disproportionately
for women of color. -
12:13 - 12:16We pass them on anyway.
-
12:16 - 12:18All of this is to America's shame.
-
12:19 - 12:22But it's also to America's risk.
-
12:22 - 12:24Because what would happen
-
12:24 - 12:28if all of these individual
so-called choices to have babies -
12:28 - 12:32started to turn into individual choices
not to have babies. -
12:33 - 12:35One woman told me,
-
12:35 - 12:38"New motherhood is hard.
It shouldn't be traumatic. -
12:38 - 12:41When we talk about expanding
our family now, -
12:41 - 12:45we focus on how much time I would have
to care for myself and a new baby. -
12:45 - 12:48If we were to have to do it again
the same way as with our first, -
12:48 - 12:50we might stick with one kid."
-
12:52 - 12:55The birthrate needed in America
to keep the population stable -
12:55 - 12:57is 2.1 live births per woman.
-
12:57 - 13:01In America today, we are at 1.86.
-
13:01 - 13:03We need women to have babies,
-
13:03 - 13:08and we are actively disincentivizing
working women from doing that. -
13:08 - 13:11What would happen to work force,
to innovation, to GDP, -
13:11 - 13:15if one by one, the working mothers
of this country were to decide -
13:15 - 13:19that they can't bear
to do this thing more than once? -
13:20 - 13:23I'm here today with only
one idea worth spreading, -
13:23 - 13:25and you've guessed what it is.
-
13:25 - 13:29It is long since time
for the most powerful country on Earth -
13:29 - 13:31to offer national paid leave
-
13:31 - 13:34to the people doing the work
of the future of this country -
13:34 - 13:37and to the babies
who represent that future. -
13:37 - 13:39Childbirth is a public good.
-
13:39 - 13:41This leave should be state-subsidized.
-
13:42 - 13:44It should have no exceptions
for small businesses, -
13:44 - 13:46length of employment or entrepreneurs.
-
13:47 - 13:49It should be able
to be shared between partners. -
13:49 - 13:51I've talked today a lot about mothers,
-
13:51 - 13:54but co-parents matter on so many levels.
-
13:56 - 13:59Not one more woman
should have to go back to work -
13:59 - 14:02while she is hobbling and bleeding.
-
14:02 - 14:05Not one more family should have
to drain their savings account -
14:06 - 14:09to buy a few days
of rest and recovery and bonding. -
14:09 - 14:11Not one more fragile infant
-
14:12 - 14:14should have to go directly
from the incubator to day care -
14:14 - 14:17because his parents have used up
all of their meager time -
14:17 - 14:19sitting in the NICU.
-
14:19 - 14:22Not one more working family
should be told that the collision -
14:22 - 14:26of their work, their needed work
and their needed parenthood, -
14:26 - 14:28is their problem alone.
-
14:29 - 14:33The catch is that when this is happening
to a new family, it is consuming, -
14:33 - 14:36and a family with a new baby
is more financially vulnerable -
14:36 - 14:38than they've ever been before,
-
14:38 - 14:42so that new mother cannot afford
to speak up on her own behalf. -
14:42 - 14:44But all of us have voices.
-
14:44 - 14:47I am done, done having babies,
-
14:48 - 14:49and you might be pre-baby,
-
14:49 - 14:51you might be post-baby,
-
14:51 - 14:52you might be no baby.
-
14:52 - 14:54It should not matter.
-
14:54 - 14:57We have to stop framing this
as a mother's issue, -
14:57 - 14:58or even a women's issue.
-
14:58 - 15:00This is an American issue.
-
15:02 - 15:06We need to stop buying the lie
that these images tell us. -
15:06 - 15:08We need to stop being comforted by them.
-
15:08 - 15:11We need to question
why we're told that this can't work -
15:11 - 15:14when we see it work
everywhere all over the world. -
15:14 - 15:18We need to recognize
that this American reality -
15:18 - 15:21is to our dishonor and to our peril.
-
15:21 - 15:24Because this is not,
-
15:24 - 15:25this is not,
-
15:25 - 15:29and this is not
what a working mother looks like. -
15:30 - 15:32(Applause)
- Title:
- How America fails new parents -- and their babies | Jessica Shortall | TEDxSMU
- Description:
-
Driven by surprising data and punctuated with the raw stories of real working mothers, Jessica Shortall makes the impassioned case that the reality of new working motherhood in America is both hidden and horrible: millions of women, every year, are forced back to work within just weeks of giving birth. The United States is one of only nine countries with no national, paid maternity leave; the next-largest is Papua New Guniea. Shortall argues that the time has come for the U.S. to recognize the economic, physical, and psychological costs of this approach for working mothers and their babies, and to secure its own economic future by providing paid leave to all working parents.
Jessica Shortall is a social entrepreneur with a career as diverse as her curiosities. She has been a Peace Corps Volunteer, a non-profit co-founder (The Campus Kitchens Project), a consultant to social enterprises, an early TOMS Shoes-er, and an advocate for LGBT rights (Texas Competes). She is the author of Work. Pump. Repeat: The New Mom’s Survival Guide to Breastfeeding and Going Back to Work (Abrams, 2015). She holds a BA from Wake Forest University and an MBA from Oxford University, where she was a Skoll Scholar in Social Entrepreneurship. She is a working mother of two who is currently hanging on for dear life.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 15:48
Helene Batt edited English subtitles for How America fails new parents -- and their babies | Jessica Shortall | TEDxSMU | ||
TED Translators admin edited English subtitles for How America fails new parents -- and their babies | Jessica Shortall | TEDxSMU | ||
TED Translators admin edited English subtitles for How America fails new parents -- and their babies | Jessica Shortall | TEDxSMU | ||
TED Translators admin edited English subtitles for How America fails new parents -- and their babies | Jessica Shortall | TEDxSMU | ||
TED Translators admin edited English subtitles for How America fails new parents -- and their babies | Jessica Shortall | TEDxSMU | ||
TED Translators admin edited English subtitles for How America fails new parents -- and their babies | Jessica Shortall | TEDxSMU |