Biblical Counsel to Walk in Sexual Purity - Jesse Barrington

To walk in purity, the believer must not just focus on guarding themselves from the sin; but they must be actively pursuing Christ and being satisfied in Him.

Question: As you counsel people on the topic of sexual purity, what advice do you find yourself giving time and time again to help believers walk in purity?

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Jesse is a pastor at http://gracelifedallas.org

As you counsel people on
the topic of sexual purity,

what advice do you find yourself giving

time and time again to help believers

walk in purity?

Jesse: One of the areas I begin with

in talking about sexual purity

is in the area of understanding

the depth of the gospel

and the blood of Christ to forgive

even in the area of sexual impurity.

So often, I see so many people

who struggle in this area

and are convinced -

I cannot come back to God;

I can't come back to Christ

because I've done this this many times.

And often, I'll bring them to
David's psalm of confession.

In verse 1, David says,

"Have mercy on me, O God,

according to Your steadfast love."

And I'll just sit there
with people sometimes

and go over that again and again.

You have to believe that
God is able to forgive,

but you have to believe
that He's willing to forgive.

And we have to remember the basis

of His forgiveness.

It is not our performance.

So when a brother or a sister struggle

in the area of sexual purity,

so often I see them
trying to earn their way

back into a right standing with God.

Whether it's: I've got to be
more committed next time.

Or, my repentance needs
to be more perfect.

And I remind them you have to understand

the basis of God's mercy is His love.

And the basis of God's
love is not performance.

And I'm not saying God's indifferent

to our repentance

or continuing in sin
that grace may abound.

But I see men and women

that have genuine marks of conversion

struggle in this area.

And when they do sin,

we'll spend sometimes days or weeks

laying around, if you will,
in the guilt of the sin.

There needs to be an urgency

of coming back to God

believing that in Christ,
if they confess their sins,

He's faithful and just to forgive them

and cleanse them from all unrighteousness.

In regards to proactively here -

I think there's a proactive
and a reactive sense

of how we guard against sexual impurity.

I think of the verse "Flee youthful lust."

So, I'll say to the men sometimes,

"Hey, flee youthful lusts.

There's one way you can
guard against sexual impurity.

And they'll say,
"Amen. Flee youthful lust."

But I'll say, "What's
the rest of the verse?"

In fact, we were in a men's meeting once

on the topic of sexual purity,

and I stood up and I said,
"Flee youthful lusts."

And they all said, "Amen!"

And I say, "Men, what's the
second half of the verse?"

Pursue.

In other words, there is a putting off.

There is a guarding of the heart

where we do flee.

We obey Proverbs 7.

We don't go on the corner.

We don't tempt ourselves to be tempted.

We guard those things.

We run from those things.

But there's the other side of the battle

against sexual impurity,

which is the pursuing.

It is looking. It is the
putting on of Christ.

Inevitably, James, what I find

in these areas when people have given in

to sexual temptation,

is that they've stopped nurturing

and nourishing their soul;

the guarding of their heart;

the reading of the Word;
the meditation of the Word.

As the old saying goes,

the Word keeps you from sin,
and sin keeps you from the Word.

And the majority of time I find is

they're trying to practice

the guarding of things,

but they're not fulfilling the pursuing

of righteousness, love, and Christ.

And if your heart is not satisfied

in treasuring and savoring Jesus Christ,

it will look somewhere else to worship.

So it's not just
putting off; it's putting on.

Question: When someone comes to you,

how do you discern,

is this a true Christian who's struggling

or is this someone who is lost?

Or how necessary is it
to even discern that?

Jesse: I look where their struggle is

regarding their sin.

In other words, is it a godly sorrow?

Remember Paul in Corinthians speaks about

a worldly sorrow versus a godly sorrow.

The worldly sorrow -

you can take an atheist who's caught

with pornography.

There's embarrassment. There's shame.

There's guilt.

What is my wife going to say?
What are my kids going to say?

What are my co-workers going to think?

Well, that's not godly sorrow.

Now the genuine Christian

will think those same thoughts,

but they will have a Godward sorrow

regarding their sin.

And so I'm looking at where is

the sorrow for sin?

Is it merely for the embarrassment

of what they've just done?

Or is it a Godward -

"Against You and You only
have I sinned, O God,

and done what is evil in Your sight."

And so I think regeneration produces

a love for God, a reverence for God,

an affection for God and His glory.

And so when we sin, we are sorrowful

not only for what we have done

and how we'll look before others,

but we're sorrowful for
what we've done to God;

the robbing of His glory,

and against Him have we sinned.

So that's an indicator.

Where the trajectory of
their sin and their sorrow?

To view more resources
on overcoming sexual sin

visit illbehonest.com,

go to Topics and select "sexual sin."