How to know your life purpose in 5 minutes | Adam Leipzig | TEDxMalibu
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0:36 - 0:41On the last evening
of my 25th college reunion, -
0:42 - 0:44there was a party in a tent
-
0:45 - 0:48with dancing, and music, and noise.
-
0:48 - 0:52So much noise that a lot of us
started to drift out of the tent -
0:52 - 0:55so we could hear each other talk
and catch up with classmates -
0:55 - 0:58that we had not seen
in more than 2 decades. -
1:00 - 1:03As I talked with my friends
I made an astounding discovery: -
1:04 - 1:0880% of them were unhappy with their lives.
-
1:10 - 1:15"I feel as though I've wasted my life,
and I'm half way through it," they said. -
1:15 - 1:18"I don't know what my life is all about."
-
1:19 - 1:22I was privileged to go to Yale,
-
1:22 - 1:26and we were standing on a summer evening
in the middle of Yale's old campus, -
1:26 - 1:32and the people that I was speaking with
were privileged, and highly educated, -
1:32 - 1:36and financially well off,
and in positions of power. -
1:36 - 1:39And they had the first house,
and the second house, -
1:39 - 1:43and they had the first spouse,
and the second spouse. -
1:43 - 1:45(Laughter)
-
1:45 - 1:48And 80% of them
were unhappy with their lives. -
1:49 - 1:52Who was happy, the 20%?
-
1:52 - 1:57Well, we had studied literature
and Renaissance rhetoric, -
1:57 - 2:01and we were the theater people,
and the history geeks. -
2:02 - 2:05We had studied classes
for the joy of learning, -
2:05 - 2:10not because we thought they were going
to put direct us to a specific job. -
2:10 - 2:11We still got jobs,
-
2:11 - 2:15we were living our lives expansively,
-
2:15 - 2:17with life's ups and downs,
-
2:17 - 2:22and we did not feel
that we had wasted a single minute. -
2:22 - 2:26And as I spoke
with the 20%, the happier 20%, -
2:27 - 2:29I discovered that each of them knew
-
2:29 - 2:32something about their life purpose
-
2:32 - 2:34because they knew five things:
-
2:34 - 2:38who they were, what they did,
-
2:38 - 2:40who they did it for,
-
2:40 - 2:42what those people wanted or needed,
-
2:42 - 2:47and what they got out of it,
how they changed as a result. -
2:48 - 2:49Does that sound hard?
-
2:49 - 2:51It's not, it's actually really simple.
-
2:51 - 2:57In fact it's so simple, that you can learn
your life purpose now. -
2:57 - 3:00You're going to know your life
purpose now, in the next five minutes. -
3:00 - 3:03Would you like to know your life purpose
in the next five minutes? -
3:03 - 3:04(Audience) Yes.
-
3:04 - 3:06Can you be a little bit louder?
-
3:06 - 3:08Because they are making
a lot of noise in the tent, -
3:08 - 3:12and there is just a silly little microphone
next to my cheek to hear you. -
3:12 - 3:15Would you like to know your life purpose
in the next five minutes? -
3:15 - 3:16(Audience) Yes!
-
3:16 - 3:19Thank you. Actually, it's not
even going to take five minutes. -
3:19 - 3:22So, can I share something else with you?
-
3:22 - 3:23If you're like a lot of us,
-
3:23 - 3:27you have wondered and worried
about your life purpose for a long time, -
3:27 - 3:31and there are books, and magazines,
and workshops, and seminars about it. -
3:31 - 3:38In fact, Amazon lists 151,928 books
-
3:38 - 3:42that refer to how you can learn
your life purpose. -
3:42 - 3:43(Laughter)
-
3:43 - 3:46Well, I know some people
who have spent their entire lives -
3:46 - 3:49trying to learn their life purpose.
-
3:49 - 3:53Look, we can all agree that
the unexamined life is not worth living, -
3:53 - 3:57but if all you're doing
is examining, you're not living. -
3:57 - 3:59(Laughter)
-
3:59 - 4:03So, let's figure out
the life purpose right now together: -
4:03 - 4:06who you are, what you do,
who you do it for, -
4:06 - 4:11what those people want and need,
and how they change as a result. -
4:11 - 4:12Shall we do it?
(Audience) Yes. -
4:12 - 4:13All right.
-
4:13 - 4:16Everybody, on the count of five,
shout out your first name. -
4:16 - 4:18One, two, three, four, five:
-
4:18 - 4:19(Audience shouts)
-
4:19 - 4:20Fabulous.
-
4:20 - 4:22That was the first one, only four to go.
-
4:22 - 4:24That's who you are. (Laughter)
-
4:24 - 4:26Now, what do you do?
-
4:26 - 4:28What do you love to do?
-
4:28 - 4:32Do you love to write, cook, design,
-
4:32 - 4:38create iOS apps, write code,
crunch numbers, talk, teach? -
4:38 - 4:40What do you love to do?
-
4:40 - 4:42And if there is a lot of things
that come up for you -
4:42 - 4:45focus it down by asking
yourselves this one question: -
4:45 - 4:47what is the one thing that right now
-
4:47 - 4:52you feel supremely qualified
to teach other people? -
4:52 - 4:54Think about that in one word.
-
4:54 - 4:57Hold it. Don't release it yet.
On the count of five. -
4:57 - 4:58What do you do?
-
4:58 - 5:01One, two, three, four, five:
-
5:01 - 5:02(Audience shouts)
-
5:02 - 5:04Great. That's what you do.
-
5:04 - 5:08Now, think about who you do it for,
picture them in your mind, -
5:08 - 5:10be ready to say it on the count of five.
-
5:10 - 5:11Hold it, don't release it yet.
-
5:11 - 5:14One, two, three, four, five:
-
5:14 - 5:15(Audience murmurs)
-
5:15 - 5:18OK, who do you do it for,
let's see it one more time. -
5:18 - 5:20A little bit louder, please,
over the people in the tent. -
5:20 - 5:22Who do you do it for? Together:
-
5:22 - 5:23(Audience shouts)
-
5:24 - 5:26Thank you. That is the spirit
that we need. OK, now. -
5:26 - 5:28What do all those people want or need?
-
5:28 - 5:30What do they want or need that you have,
-
5:30 - 5:33that they've come to you
so you can give them this thing. -
5:33 - 5:35What do they want or need?
In just one or two words. -
5:35 - 5:37Hold it, don't release it yet.
-
5:37 - 5:40And on the count of five:
one, two, three, four, five... -
5:40 - 5:42(Audience shouts)
-
5:42 - 5:44Fantastic. Now, this is the best one.
-
5:44 - 5:45How do they change?
-
5:45 - 5:50How do they change or transform
as a result of what you give them? -
5:50 - 5:51On the count of five,
-
5:51 - 5:54how do they change or transform
as a result of what you give them? -
5:54 - 5:57One, two, three, four, five:
-
5:57 - 5:59(Audience shouts)
-
5:59 - 6:03Terrific. Now we're going to put this
all together kind of in a sentence, OK? -
6:03 - 6:06Everyone together,
louder than the people in the tent: -
6:06 - 6:07who are you?
-
6:07 - 6:09(Audience responds)
-
6:09 - 6:10What do you do?
-
6:10 - 6:11(Audience responds)
-
6:11 - 6:13Who do you do it for?
-
6:13 - 6:15(Audience responds)
-
6:15 - 6:16What do they want or need?
-
6:16 - 6:17(Audience responds)
-
6:17 - 6:19How do they change as a result?
-
6:19 - 6:20(Audience responds)
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6:20 - 6:21Fantastic.
-
6:21 - 6:23You have all just done something
-
6:23 - 6:26that people who went to Yale
could not figure out for 25 years. -
6:26 - 6:30Congratulations. Give yourselves
a hand. (Applause) -
6:30 - 6:33Now, why is that formulation so powerful?
-
6:33 - 6:36Because of all of those five things
that you need to know -
6:36 - 6:38to know what your life purpose is,
-
6:38 - 6:40only two are about yourself.
-
6:40 - 6:44The other three of them
are about other people: -
6:44 - 6:47who they are, what they want or need,
-
6:47 - 6:50and how they change as a result.
-
6:50 - 6:53That formulation forces you
to be outward facing. -
6:53 - 6:57And all the happier people
that I met outside the tent -
6:57 - 6:58on that warm New Haven night
-
6:58 - 7:01they were outward facing,
they were not inward facing. -
7:01 - 7:06They knew very clearly whom they served,
what those people needed, -
7:06 - 7:08and how those people changed as a result.
-
7:08 - 7:10And you may have intuited this already
-
7:10 - 7:16that the most successful people
in any field always focus most -
7:16 - 7:21on the people that they serve
than on how they are served themselves. -
7:21 - 7:26Happier people make it a point
to make other people happy, -
7:26 - 7:31and do things that make them
feel well taken care of and secure. -
7:31 - 7:33If you make other people happy,
life teaches us, -
7:33 - 7:36we will be taken care of, too.
-
7:36 - 7:40So since you all did so well, we have time
for just a little bit of extra credit. -
7:40 - 7:41(Laughter)
-
7:41 - 7:43One of the most difficult things
-
7:43 - 7:45that happens when you meet
people for the first time is -
7:45 - 7:48they ask you this question,
-
7:48 - 7:50"So, what do you do?"
-
7:50 - 7:52And, if you're like some of us,
-
7:52 - 7:54that's a really
challenging question sometimes. -
7:54 - 7:58Particularly, if you're in these moments
where you're between things, -
7:58 - 8:01or you're feeling vulnerable,
or it isn't defined. -
8:01 - 8:05Or, what you seem to do
isn't what you really do, -
8:05 - 8:08or what you paid to do
isn't how you define yourself. -
8:08 - 8:11So, when people ask you
this question, "So, what do you do?" -
8:11 - 8:13and also, you've got
this mental monologue going on, -
8:13 - 8:16"Why is he asking me?
So, what do I do? Is it because..." -
8:16 - 8:20It's that transactional thing
where it's like: "He wants to know -
8:20 - 8:22if he should really
spend time talking to me?" -
8:22 - 8:23(Laughter)
-
8:23 - 8:26Or, it's that other thing,
so he can tell me what he does -
8:26 - 8:29because he's sure it's, "Oh, really,
so much better than what I do?" -
8:29 - 8:30(Laughter)
-
8:30 - 8:31Right?
-
8:31 - 8:34So, when somebody asks you
that question, here's what you do: -
8:34 - 8:38you just say the very last thing
you called out, -
8:38 - 8:41how what you do changes
the people you do it for. -
8:41 - 8:48So, for example, you might say,
"I give kids awesome dreams." -
8:49 - 8:53If your life purpose is:
"I write books for children, -
8:53 - 8:58so they can fall asleep at night,
so they can have awesome dreams." -
8:58 - 9:02Or you might say: "I help people
look and feel their best," -
9:02 - 9:04if your life purpose is:
-
9:04 - 9:09"I design apparel for men and women
who need affordable choices, -
9:09 - 9:12so they can look and feel their best."
-
9:12 - 9:17Or you might say: "I help people
get great work into the world," -
9:17 - 9:20if your life purpose is:
-
9:20 - 9:24"I train entrepreneurs and creative people
to take decisive actions, -
9:24 - 9:27so they can get
their greatest work into the world." -
9:29 - 9:30And then,
-
9:30 - 9:33that little snippet that you just said
-
9:33 - 9:36becomes your personal elevator pitch.
-
9:36 - 9:38And it will always start a conversation
-
9:38 - 9:40because the person
that you were just talking to -
9:40 - 9:42has to ask you a question,
-
9:42 - 9:44"How do you give kids great dreams?"
-
9:44 - 9:47"How do you help people
look and feel their best?" -
9:47 - 9:51"Can people really get
their greatest work into the world?" -
9:51 - 9:54And then you get to tell them,
-
9:54 - 9:58and you get to share your life purpose.
-
9:58 - 10:02And you get to share
how they may come to learn theirs, too. -
10:04 - 10:05(Applause)
- Title:
- How to know your life purpose in 5 minutes | Adam Leipzig | TEDxMalibu
- Description:
-
This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences.
Adam Leipzig has overseen more than 25 movies as a producer, executive and distributor. He has produced more than 300 stage plays and live events, and is one of the founders of the Los Angeles Theatre Center. - Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 10:34
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