Relationships and Truth

Spontaneous Talks with Mooji at Monte Sahaja, 3 December 2012
"Often, your best relationships are not the ones you run after;
they are the ones that just reveal themselves." - Mooji

Music from Monte Sahaja Sat Songs Cd: "Into the Deep Blue"

Spontaneous talks with Mooji
(with subtitles)

Monte Sahaja
3 December 2012

Relationships and Truth

[Mooji] I remember when one girl,
many will probably remember,

but I'm not gonna put light on her.

But she came into a tremendous place of seeing.

And she just cracked open on the stage
in front of everyone.

And after two or three days,
I didn't see her anymore.

Something just went, Where is that girl?
I want to see her.

I haven't seen her around for a while.

It's been like three or four days,
nobody saw her.

I said, Does anybody know where she lives?

'I know where she lives, I'll call her.'

Then she came.
I said, What happened to you? I don't see you.

She came, 'Yes, yes', after satsang, outside.

'Yes, yes, yes. Well you know, Mooji,
an amazing thing happened!

Because then, I went up to Arunachala.

I was up there, and I met this man,
this being'.

She says, 'I met this being,

and he seems completely awake.

And it just happened. Like we just met.

And then, we kind of just been spending
a lot of time together.

It's kind of like,
I just fell in love with this being.

Then I was saying,

"How can I just have two gurus in my head?"

How is that possible?'

Then I said to her,

Do you think consciousness actually,

intentionally wished this for you,

having brought you to a place of seeing,

then bring in this duality
and this heavy confusion for you,

was it conscious that did it or not?

Because, somehow, secretly,
something inside you,

maybe a vasana, some deep tendency

is that you need someone,
you always need somebody.

And so this is the the ace up the sleeve
of the mind.

[Questioner 1] It feels like this.
[Mooji] It's 'Aaah!

[Mooji] Now I met a living being
who has fallen in love with me

just at the time when I'm coming into freedom!'
Wonderful!

[laughter]

And I know who this character is, also.

He's always on the prowl. You understand?

And then, somehow, I said,

You've thrown it away.

You've thrown it away,
because something inside you needed,

feel it needs to be with somebody

and it became your powerful distraction.

[Mooji] As the ego itself is dissolving,

pulled into that inner space,

some trauma is coming up for it.

And the greatest rescue for the ego
is a relationship.

You say, 'Oh my God, I thought it was finished!

Somebody actually loves me'.
And boom, boom, there you go,

into the sunset, on your white horse.

And we will not see you,
not around here, not for a while.

And so many times this has happened

So many times.

[Q.1] I feel for me,
it was the biggest challenge I ever had,

this relationship thing.
Always, because there is ...

Well, maybe it's also conditioning
that you have this belief

that if you find the right partner,

the rest of your life will be just in love,

and everything is great,
and fantastic and beautiful,

and flowers and everything.

And many times, I fell into this.

Yeah, I follow this idea,
I know this notion that ...

Or even hypnotised myself
that when I fell in love,

this was the right person, finally,
for the rest of my life.

[Mooji] What is it that needs that?

You should look into it.

Because it's not to do really with love.

It really is some fake fantasy

that really pulls you again into the bush.

And when you're sufficiently confused,

it will release you again to wander about,

bumping into trees,
because you missed your chance.

It's what happened for many people.

And we needn't limit it
to romantic relationships.

That's just one of the great rivers.

But in many things, it comes.

Whatever it will take,

whatever is your weakest link,
if you want to say this,

it will come through this door,
through this way.

Something to entice your mind to go again,

to look for this way out, this way out.

This is why, great is the one who transcends
all these things.

No one needs to boast about it,
because it can come,

and when it's present,
it is flowing in your veins,

and it's such remarkable intimacy

that you don't even question it.

You enter that drunken state.

In the end, you're always on your own.

Wake up to that Truth.

Your mind will say,
'It's so difficult to live with all these people,

and sometimes this ... '
and have a good grumble.

But wherever life places your form,

there is nothing like
an automatic failure anywhere,

except if you give in to that type of mentality

to go back to that old way of thinking.

And it always seems that

life is always on the verge of this kind of chaos.

None of your excuses are true.

None of our excuses are true.
We make it up.

Something inside decides,
'I don't want to do it'.

And it will find a way out from this. It's life.

Consciousness does not suffer.

But you, the one who imagines yourself

to be the one who goes or comes,
that will suffer.

What to say about these things now.

[Q.1] I loved what you said the other day,

there was this Japanese girl,

you said, 'Man is made for God,
and a woman is made for God'.

For me, this was really such a profound truth.

And also when you speak about this aloneness,

I had this very deep experience
and this deep, deep knowing,

one day when I looked inside,

and I saw that I'm completely alone,

and at the beginning, I felt so scared,

and it really terrified me to see this aloneness.

But at the end,
when you get comfortable with that,

it's so beautiful
when you just let yourself fall in that

and you really realise it is the biggest truth.

[Mooji] Yes, the mind is afraid of this aloneness,

because it paints the picture of a person

who is a very limited thing, vulnerable thing,

alone as a person.

But the true aloneness is that
you are alone as everything,

as the totality, somehow.

[Questioner 2] Sri Mooji, in this sharing
and support in a relationship

[Q.2] it's very beautiful also.
[M.] Yes. I'm coming to that.

[Q.2] Even though I am alone.
[M.] I'm coming to that.

[Mooji] There are beautiful examples.

[Q.1] For me, it doesn't feel like it's ...

It feels like something old

that's somehow in the very DNA
of this body-mind,

because actually I enjoy being alone.

When I'm in a relationship,

I'm always wanting to be given my space,
like this.

So I can see this. But it feels like,
when you speak about vasanas,

it's something that's just there, it's old,
and it needs to be burned,

and I don't know how that learning happens.

[Mooji] It seems to get in the way
of real love, really.

I mean, this is not an anti-relationship talk
or something,

because it is possible.

Of course, we see the evidence of that.

And often your best relationships
are not the ones you run after.

It's just the ones that just reveal themselves.

Like I say, the beloved is not chosen,

it is just recognised.

And so it's not that,

Oh, you should go looking
to find your life partner,

or whatever it is.
I think that comes from another place.

And we should not be pursuing these things.

When you don't,
then you find a life which is yours.

That in some beautiful way

you may encounter someone, meet someone,

in whose presence you feel
deeply comfortable and at peace,

and fall in love in the most natural way.

And your connection doesn't become
a distraction from the truth,

but enhances your journey and your possibilities,

heighten the possibilities of discovering the truth.

You resonate with each other.

You become almost each other's guru,
if you're true in heart.

But much, for instance, in Tiruvannamalai,

it was rampant with monkey business for me,

because they were just popping around,

'ping, ping, ping, ping', like this!

Because there was so much insecurity
coming up for people

to do with, kind of like, 'I am disappearing'.

And the 'I' that is disappearing,
even the disappearing of that 'I'

and the seeming terror
of the one who is afraid of disappearing,

there is a powerful joy at the same time,
that is there,

because the one who is disappearing, thank God,

is the one who needs to disappear

to find that which cannot disappear,

one's own true Self.

So much resistance is there.

This is why it seems so rare for a human being

to really come out of that mischief,
and distortion.

Because the minute you hold on to the
sense of ego,

there's a vulnerability and a neediness
to be secure,

or made to feel secure,

or to bind to some promise, or some projection.

So the culprit is not relationship, but ego.

Romantic relationships are just an
exquisite way of exposing some things

which other relationships are not able to do,

because they really heighten and expose
the deeper

strategies of the ego
to try and satisfy its projections.

There's going to come a time

when these things mean nothing for you.

You won't know what ego means. What is ego?

What is a person? What is that?

You may not even ask this question,
'What is it?'

It won't it won't have any taste for you.

I was going to say like unsalted food.

but many people here, they like unsalted food.

But let's not go and fall into the relationship trap,

it's not just about relationship

unless you're talking about relationship
in the wider sense,

which is our interactions with this universe,

inside this universe.

And everything boils down to 'Romeo and Juliet'.

It's just things to do with little tricks

that goes on inside the head,

when you become obsessed with an identity
which is not real,

and how it pulls your attention away.

Away from that unique and auspicious discovery,

the most powerful destruction comes into play.

Often, your best relationships
are not the ones you run after,

they are the ones that just reveal themselves.

The Beloved is not chosen,
it is just recognised.

[music]

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