My immigration story | Tan Le | TEDxWomen
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0:13 - 0:16How can I speak in 10 minutes
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0:16 - 0:19about the bonds of women
over three generations, -
0:19 - 0:22about how the astonishing
strength of those bonds -
0:22 - 0:25took hold in the life
of a four-year-old girl -
0:26 - 0:31huddled with her young sister,
her mother and her grandmother -
0:31 - 0:35for five days and nights
in a small boat in the China Sea -
0:35 - 0:36more than 30 years ago.
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0:37 - 0:40Bonds that took hold
in the life of that small girl -
0:40 - 0:41and never let go --
-
0:42 - 0:45that small girl now
living in San Francisco -
0:45 - 0:46and speaking to you today.
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0:48 - 0:50This is not a finished story.
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0:50 - 0:53It is a jigsaw puzzle
still being put together. -
0:54 - 0:56Let me tell you about some of the pieces.
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0:58 - 1:02Imagine the first piece:
a man burning his life's work. -
1:02 - 1:06He is a poet, a playwright,
-
1:06 - 1:07a man whose whole life
-
1:07 - 1:11had been balanced on the single hope
of his country's unity and freedom. -
1:13 - 1:16Imagine him as the communists
enter Saigon -- -
1:16 - 1:19confronting the fact
that his life had been a complete waste. -
1:20 - 1:23Words, for so long his friends,
now mocked him. -
1:24 - 1:25He retreated into silence.
-
1:26 - 1:28He died broken by history.
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1:30 - 1:31He is my grandfather.
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1:33 - 1:35I never knew him in real life.
-
1:37 - 1:40But our lives are much more
than our memories. -
1:41 - 1:43My grandmother never
let me forget his life. -
1:44 - 1:47My duty was not to allow
it to have been in vain, -
1:47 - 1:52and my lesson was to learn
that, yes, history tried to crush us, -
1:52 - 1:53but we endured.
-
1:54 - 1:58The next piece of the jigsaw
is of a boat in the early dawn -
1:58 - 2:00slipping silently out to sea.
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2:01 - 2:04My mother, Mai, was 18
when her father died -- -
2:05 - 2:07already in an arranged marriage,
-
2:07 - 2:09already with two small girls.
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2:10 - 2:13For her, life had distilled
itself into one task: -
2:14 - 2:17the escape of her family
and a new life in Australia. -
2:18 - 2:21It was inconceivable to her
that she would not succeed. -
2:22 - 2:25So after a four-year saga
that defies fiction, -
2:25 - 2:28a boat slipped out to sea
disguised as a fishing vessel. -
2:30 - 2:32All the adults knew the risks.
-
2:33 - 2:36The greatest fear
was of pirates, rape and death. -
2:37 - 2:39Like most adults on the boat,
-
2:39 - 2:42my mother carried
a small bottle of poison. -
2:43 - 2:46If we were captured,
first my sister and I, -
2:46 - 2:48then she and my grandmother would drink.
-
2:51 - 2:53My first memories are from the boat --
-
2:54 - 2:55the steady beat of the engine,
-
2:55 - 2:58the bow dipping into each wave,
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2:58 - 3:00the vast and empty horizon.
-
3:01 - 3:04I don't remember the pirates
who came many times, -
3:04 - 3:07but were bluffed by the bravado
of the men on our boat, -
3:08 - 3:11or the engine dying
and failing to start for six hours. -
3:13 - 3:16But I do remember the lights
on the oil rig off the Malaysian coast -
3:17 - 3:20and the young man who collapsed and died,
-
3:20 - 3:22the journey's end too much for him,
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3:23 - 3:27and the first apple I tasted,
given to me by the men on the rig. -
3:28 - 3:30No apple has ever tasted the same.
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3:33 - 3:37After three months in a refugee camp,
we landed in Melbourne. -
3:38 - 3:40And the next piece of the jigsaw
is about four women -
3:40 - 3:44across three generations
shaping a new life together. -
3:45 - 3:47We settled in Footscray,
-
3:47 - 3:51a working-class suburb
whose demographic is layers of immigrants. -
3:52 - 3:56Unlike the settled middle-class suburbs,
whose existence I was oblivious of, -
3:56 - 3:59there was no sense
of entitlement in Footscray. -
3:59 - 4:02The smells from shop doors
were from the rest of the world. -
4:02 - 4:04And the snippets of halting English
-
4:04 - 4:07were exchanged between people
who had one thing in common: -
4:08 - 4:09They were starting again.
-
4:11 - 4:13My mother worked on farms,
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4:13 - 4:15then on a car assembly line,
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4:15 - 4:17working six days, double shifts.
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4:18 - 4:20Somehow, she found time to study English
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4:20 - 4:22and gain IT qualifications.
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4:23 - 4:24We were poor.
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4:25 - 4:27All the dollars were allocated
-
4:27 - 4:30and extra tuition in English
and mathematics was budgeted for -
4:30 - 4:32regardless of what missed out,
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4:34 - 4:35which was usually new clothes;
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4:36 - 4:38they were always secondhand.
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4:38 - 4:40Two pairs of stockings for school,
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4:40 - 4:42each to hide the holes in the other.
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4:43 - 4:47A school uniform down to the ankles,
because it had to last for six years. -
4:49 - 4:53And there were rare
but searing chants of "slit-eye" -
4:53 - 4:54and the occasional graffiti:
-
4:54 - 4:56"Asian, go home."
-
4:57 - 4:58Go home to where?
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4:59 - 5:01Something stiffened inside me.
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5:01 - 5:04There was a gathering of resolve
and a quiet voice saying, -
5:05 - 5:06"I will bypass you."
-
5:08 - 5:11My mother, my sister and I
slept in the same bed. -
5:13 - 5:15My mother was exhausted each night,
-
5:15 - 5:17but we told one another about our day
-
5:17 - 5:20and listened to the movements
of my grandmother around the house. -
5:21 - 5:24My mother suffered from nightmares,
all about the boat. -
5:25 - 5:28And my job was to stay awake
until her nightmares came -
5:28 - 5:30so I could wake her.
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5:32 - 5:34She opened a computer store,
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5:34 - 5:37then studied to be a beautician
and opened another business. -
5:37 - 5:39And the women came with their stories
-
5:39 - 5:42about men who could not
make the transition, -
5:42 - 5:44angry and inflexible,
-
5:44 - 5:46and troubled children
caught between two worlds. -
5:47 - 5:49Grants and sponsors were sought.
-
5:49 - 5:51Centers were established.
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5:52 - 5:54I lived in parallel worlds.
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5:54 - 5:57In one, I was the classic Asian student,
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5:57 - 6:00relentless in the demands
that I made on myself. -
6:01 - 6:04In the other, I was enmeshed
in lives that were precarious, -
6:04 - 6:08tragically scarred by violence,
drug abuse and isolation. -
6:09 - 6:11But so many over the years were helped.
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6:11 - 6:14And for that work,
when I was a final-year law student, -
6:14 - 6:16I was chosen as the Young
Australian of the Year. -
6:17 - 6:20And I was catapulted from
one piece of the jigsaw to another, -
6:20 - 6:22and their edges didn't fit.
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6:23 - 6:25Tan Le, anonymous Footscray resident,
-
6:25 - 6:29was now Tan Le,
refugee and social activist, -
6:29 - 6:32invited to speak in venues
she had never heard of -
6:32 - 6:36and into homes whose existence
she could never have imagined. -
6:37 - 6:38I didn't know the protocols.
-
6:39 - 6:40I didn't know how to use the cutlery.
-
6:41 - 6:44I didn't know how to talk about wine.
-
6:44 - 6:46I didn't know how to talk about anything.
-
6:48 - 6:51I wanted to retreat
to the routines and comfort -
6:51 - 6:53of life in an unsung suburb --
-
6:54 - 6:57a grandmother, a mother and two daughters
-
6:57 - 7:00ending each day as they had
for almost 20 years, -
7:00 - 7:03telling one another the story of their day
-
7:03 - 7:06and falling asleep,
the three of us still in the same bed. -
7:09 - 7:11I told my mother I couldn't do it.
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7:12 - 7:16She reminded me that I was now
the same age she had been -
7:16 - 7:17when we boarded the boat.
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7:18 - 7:20"No" had never been an option.
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7:21 - 7:23"Just do it," she said,
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7:23 - 7:25"and don't be what you're not."
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7:26 - 7:29So I spoke out on youth
unemployment and education -
7:29 - 7:32and the neglect of the marginalized
and disenfranchised. -
7:32 - 7:36And the more candidly I spoke,
the more I was asked to speak. -
7:38 - 7:40I met people from all walks of life,
-
7:40 - 7:43so many of them doing
the thing they loved, -
7:43 - 7:45living on the frontiers of possibility.
-
7:45 - 7:48And even though I finished my degree,
-
7:48 - 7:51I realized I could not settle
into a career in law. -
7:51 - 7:54There had to be another piece
of the jigsaw. -
7:55 - 7:57And I realized, at the same time,
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7:57 - 8:00that it is OK to be an outsider,
-
8:00 - 8:01a recent arrival,
-
8:01 - 8:03new on the scene --
-
8:03 - 8:05and not just OK,
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8:05 - 8:07but something to be thankful for,
-
8:07 - 8:09perhaps a gift from the boat.
-
8:10 - 8:14Because being an insider can so easily
mean collapsing the horizons, -
8:14 - 8:18can so easily mean accepting
the presumptions of your province. -
8:20 - 8:22I have stepped outside
my comfort zone enough now -
8:22 - 8:25to know that, yes,
the world does fall apart, -
8:25 - 8:27but not in the way that you fear.
-
8:27 - 8:30Possibilities that would not
have been allowed -
8:30 - 8:32were outrageously encouraged.
-
8:32 - 8:33There was an energy there,
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8:33 - 8:35an implacable optimism,
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8:36 - 8:38a strange mixture of humility and daring.
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8:39 - 8:41So I followed my hunches.
-
8:41 - 8:43I gathered around me
a small team of people -
8:43 - 8:47for whom the label "It can't be done"
was an irresistible challenge. -
8:48 - 8:50For a year, we were penniless.
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8:50 - 8:53At the end of each day,
I made a huge pot of soup -
8:53 - 8:54which we all shared.
-
8:55 - 8:57We worked well into each night.
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8:58 - 9:00Most of our ideas were crazy,
-
9:01 - 9:02but a few were brilliant,
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9:02 - 9:04and we broke through.
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9:05 - 9:09I made the decision to move
to the US after only one trip. -
9:10 - 9:11My hunches again.
-
9:12 - 9:15Three months later, I had relocated,
and the adventure has continued. -
9:18 - 9:21Before I close, though,
let me tell you about my grandmother. -
9:22 - 9:26She grew up at a time when Confucianism
was the social norm -
9:26 - 9:28and the local mandarin
was the person who mattered. -
9:29 - 9:31Life hadn't changed for centuries.
-
9:32 - 9:35Her father died soon after she was born.
-
9:36 - 9:37Her mother raised her alone.
-
9:39 - 9:43At 17, she became the second wife
of a mandarin whose mother beat her. -
9:45 - 9:47With no support from her husband,
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9:47 - 9:49she caused a sensation
by taking him to court -
9:49 - 9:52and prosecuting her own case,
-
9:52 - 9:54and a far greater sensation when she won.
-
9:54 - 9:56(Laughter)
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9:56 - 10:00(Applause)
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10:00 - 10:03"It can't be done" was shown to be wrong.
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10:06 - 10:09I was taking a shower
in a hotel room in Sydney -
10:09 - 10:10the moment she died,
-
10:10 - 10:13600 miles away, in Melbourne.
-
10:14 - 10:18I looked through the shower screen
and saw her standing on the other side. -
10:18 - 10:20I knew she had come to say goodbye.
-
10:21 - 10:23My mother phoned minutes later.
-
10:24 - 10:26A few days later,
-
10:26 - 10:29we went to a Buddhist temple in Footscray
and sat around her casket. -
10:30 - 10:33We told her stories and assured her
that we were still with her. -
10:35 - 10:40At midnight, the monk came
and told us he had to close the casket. -
10:40 - 10:43My mother asked us to feel her hand.
-
10:44 - 10:45She asked the monk,
-
10:45 - 10:50"Why is it that her hand is so warm
and the rest of her is so cold?" -
10:51 - 10:54"Because you have been holding it
since this morning," he said. -
10:55 - 10:56"You have not let it go."
-
10:59 - 11:03If there is a sinew in our family,
it runs through the women. -
11:04 - 11:07Given who we were
and how life had shaped us, -
11:07 - 11:11we can now see that the men
that might have come into our lives -
11:11 - 11:12would have thwarted us.
-
11:12 - 11:14Defeat would have come too easily.
-
11:16 - 11:20Now I would like to have my own children,
and I wonder about the boat. -
11:21 - 11:23Who could ever wish it on their own?
-
11:24 - 11:26Yet I am afraid of privilege,
-
11:26 - 11:27of ease,
-
11:27 - 11:29of entitlement.
-
11:30 - 11:34Can I give them a bow in their lives,
dipping bravely into each wave, -
11:35 - 11:37the unperturbed and steady
beat of the engine, -
11:38 - 11:41the vast horizon that guarantees nothing?
-
11:43 - 11:44I don't know.
-
11:44 - 11:46But if I could give it
-
11:46 - 11:48and still see them safely through,
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11:48 - 11:49I would.
-
11:50 - 11:57(Applause)
-
12:03 - 12:06Trevor Neilson: And also,
Tan's mother is here today, -
12:06 - 12:08in the fourth or fifth row.
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12:08 - 12:13(Applause)
- Title:
- My immigration story | Tan Le | TEDxWomen
- Description:
-
In 2010, technologist Tan Le took the TEDGlobal stage to demo a powerful new interface. But now, at TEDxWomen, she tells a very personal story: the story of her family -- mother, grandmother and sister -- fleeing Vietnam and building a new life.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 11:57
TED Translators admin edited English subtitles for TEDxWomen -- Tan Le | ||
Ivana Korom edited English subtitles for TEDxWomen -- Tan Le | ||
Ivana Korom edited English subtitles for TEDxWomen -- Tan Le |