My immigration story | Tan Le | TEDxWomen
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0:01 - 0:03How can I speak in 10 minutes
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0:03 - 0:06about the bonds of women
over three generations, -
0:07 - 0:10about how the astonishing
strength of those bonds -
0:10 - 0:12took hold in the life
of a four-year-old girl -
0:13 - 0:18huddled with her young sister,
her mother and her grandmother -
0:18 - 0:22for five days and nights
in a small boat in the China Sea -
0:22 - 0:23more than 30 years ago.
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0:24 - 0:27Bonds that took hold
in the life of that small girl -
0:27 - 0:28and never let go --
-
0:30 - 0:32that small girl now
living in San Francisco -
0:32 - 0:34and speaking to you today.
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0:35 - 0:37This is not a finished story.
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0:38 - 0:40It is a jigsaw puzzle
still being put together. -
0:41 - 0:43Let me tell you about some of the pieces.
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0:45 - 0:49Imagine the first piece:
a man burning his life's work. -
0:50 - 0:53He is a poet, a playwright,
-
0:53 - 0:54a man whose whole life
-
0:54 - 0:58had been balanced on the single hope
of his country's unity and freedom. -
0:59 - 1:03Imagine him as the communists
enter Saigon -- -
1:03 - 1:06confronting the fact
that his life had been a complete waste. -
1:06 - 1:09Words, for so long his friends,
now mocked him. -
1:10 - 1:12He retreated into silence.
-
1:13 - 1:15He died broken by history.
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1:16 - 1:18He is my grandfather.
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1:19 - 1:21I never knew him in real life.
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1:23 - 1:26But our lives are much more
than our memories. -
1:26 - 1:29My grandmother never
let me forget his life. -
1:30 - 1:33My duty was not to allow
it to have been in vain, -
1:33 - 1:37and my lesson was to learn
that, yes, history tried to crush us, -
1:37 - 1:38but we endured.
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1:40 - 1:44The next piece of the jigsaw
is of a boat in the early dawn -
1:44 - 1:46slipping silently out to sea.
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1:47 - 1:50My mother, Mai, was 18
when her father died -- -
1:50 - 1:53already in an arranged marriage,
-
1:53 - 1:54already with two small girls.
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1:56 - 1:59For her, life had distilled
itself into one task: -
1:59 - 2:02the escape of her family
and a new life in Australia. -
2:03 - 2:07It was inconceivable to her
that she would not succeed. -
2:08 - 2:11So after a four-year saga
that defies fiction, -
2:11 - 2:14a boat slipped out to sea
disguised as a fishing vessel. -
2:15 - 2:17All the adults knew the risks.
-
2:18 - 2:22The greatest fear
was of pirates, rape and death. -
2:23 - 2:25Like most adults on the boat,
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2:25 - 2:27my mother carried
a small bottle of poison. -
2:28 - 2:32If we were captured,
first my sister and I, -
2:32 - 2:34then she and my grandmother would drink.
-
2:35 - 2:38My first memories are from the boat --
-
2:38 - 2:40the steady beat of the engine,
-
2:40 - 2:42the bow dipping into each wave,
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2:43 - 2:45the vast and empty horizon.
-
2:46 - 2:49I don't remember the pirates
who came many times, -
2:49 - 2:52but were bluffed by the bravado
of the men on our boat, -
2:53 - 2:56or the engine dying
and failing to start for six hours. -
2:57 - 3:01But I do remember the lights
on the oil rig off the Malaysian coast -
3:02 - 3:05and the young man who collapsed and died,
-
3:05 - 3:07the journey's end too much for him,
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3:08 - 3:12and the first apple I tasted,
given to me by the men on the rig. -
3:13 - 3:15No apple has ever tasted the same.
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3:18 - 3:22After three months in a refugee camp,
we landed in Melbourne. -
3:22 - 3:25And the next piece of the jigsaw
is about four women -
3:25 - 3:28across three generations
shaping a new life together. -
3:30 - 3:32We settled in Footscray,
-
3:32 - 3:36a working-class suburb
whose demographic is layers of immigrants. -
3:37 - 3:41Unlike the settled middle-class suburbs,
whose existence I was oblivious of, -
3:41 - 3:43there was no sense
of entitlement in Footscray. -
3:44 - 3:47The smells from shop doors
were from the rest of the world. -
3:47 - 3:49And the snippets of halting English
-
3:49 - 3:52were exchanged between people
who had one thing in common: -
3:52 - 3:54They were starting again.
-
3:55 - 3:57My mother worked on farms,
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3:57 - 3:59then on a car assembly line,
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3:59 - 4:01working six days, double shifts.
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4:02 - 4:04Somehow, she found time to study English
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4:04 - 4:06and gain IT qualifications.
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4:07 - 4:08We were poor.
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4:09 - 4:11All the dollars were allocated
-
4:11 - 4:15and extra tuition in English
and mathematics was budgeted for -
4:15 - 4:16regardless of what missed out,
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4:18 - 4:20which was usually new clothes;
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4:20 - 4:22they were always secondhand.
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4:22 - 4:24Two pairs of stockings for school,
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4:24 - 4:26each to hide the holes in the other.
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4:27 - 4:31A school uniform down to the ankles,
because it had to last for six years. -
4:33 - 4:37And there were rare
but searing chants of "slit-eye" -
4:37 - 4:38and the occasional graffiti:
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4:38 - 4:40"Asian, go home."
-
4:41 - 4:42Go home to where?
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4:43 - 4:45Something stiffened inside me.
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4:45 - 4:48There was a gathering of resolve
and a quiet voice saying, -
4:49 - 4:50"I will bypass you."
-
4:52 - 4:55My mother, my sister and I
slept in the same bed. -
4:57 - 4:59My mother was exhausted each night,
-
4:59 - 5:01but we told one another about our day
-
5:01 - 5:05and listened to the movements
of my grandmother around the house. -
5:05 - 5:08My mother suffered from nightmares,
all about the boat. -
5:09 - 5:13And my job was to stay awake
until her nightmares came -
5:13 - 5:14so I could wake her.
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5:16 - 5:18She opened a computer store,
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5:18 - 5:21then studied to be a beautician
and opened another business. -
5:21 - 5:23And the women came with their stories
-
5:23 - 5:26about men who could not
make the transition, -
5:26 - 5:28angry and inflexible,
-
5:28 - 5:31and troubled children
caught between two worlds. -
5:31 - 5:33Grants and sponsors were sought.
-
5:33 - 5:35Centers were established.
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5:36 - 5:38I lived in parallel worlds.
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5:38 - 5:41In one, I was the classic Asian student,
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5:41 - 5:44relentless in the demands
that I made on myself. -
5:45 - 5:48In the other, I was enmeshed
in lives that were precarious, -
5:48 - 5:51tragically scarred by violence,
drug abuse and isolation. -
5:53 - 5:55But so many over the years were helped.
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5:55 - 5:58And for that work,
when I was a final-year law student, -
5:58 - 6:00I was chosen as the Young
Australian of the Year. -
6:00 - 6:04And I was catapulted from
one piece of the jigsaw to another, -
6:04 - 6:06and their edges didn't fit.
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6:07 - 6:09Tan Le, anonymous Footscray resident,
-
6:09 - 6:12was now Tan Le,
refugee and social activist, -
6:12 - 6:16invited to speak in venues
she had never heard of -
6:16 - 6:19and into homes whose existence
she could never have imagined. -
6:20 - 6:22I didn't know the protocols.
-
6:22 - 6:24I didn't know how to use the cutlery.
-
6:25 - 6:27I didn't know how to talk about wine.
-
6:28 - 6:30I didn't know how to talk about anything.
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6:31 - 6:34I wanted to retreat
to the routines and comfort -
6:34 - 6:37of life in an unsung suburb --
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6:37 - 6:40a grandmother, a mother and two daughters
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6:40 - 6:44ending each day as they had
for almost 20 years, -
6:44 - 6:46telling one another the story of their day
-
6:46 - 6:50and falling asleep,
the three of us still in the same bed. -
6:52 - 6:54I told my mother I couldn't do it.
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6:56 - 6:59She reminded me that I was now
the same age she had been -
6:59 - 7:01when we boarded the boat.
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7:02 - 7:03"No" had never been an option.
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7:05 - 7:06"Just do it," she said,
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7:06 - 7:08"and don't be what you're not."
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7:09 - 7:12So I spoke out on youth
unemployment and education -
7:12 - 7:15and the neglect of the marginalized
and disenfranchised. -
7:16 - 7:19And the more candidly I spoke,
the more I was asked to speak. -
7:21 - 7:23I met people from all walks of life,
-
7:23 - 7:26so many of them doing
the thing they loved, -
7:26 - 7:28living on the frontiers of possibility.
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7:29 - 7:31And even though I finished my degree,
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7:31 - 7:34I realized I could not settle
into a career in law. -
7:35 - 7:37There had to be another piece
of the jigsaw. -
7:38 - 7:40And I realized, at the same time,
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7:40 - 7:43that it is OK to be an outsider,
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7:43 - 7:45a recent arrival,
-
7:45 - 7:46new on the scene --
-
7:47 - 7:48and not just OK,
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7:48 - 7:51but something to be thankful for,
-
7:51 - 7:52perhaps a gift from the boat.
-
7:53 - 7:58Because being an insider can so easily
mean collapsing the horizons, -
7:58 - 8:01can so easily mean accepting
the presumptions of your province. -
8:03 - 8:05I have stepped outside
my comfort zone enough now -
8:05 - 8:08to know that, yes,
the world does fall apart, -
8:08 - 8:10but not in the way that you fear.
-
8:11 - 8:13Possibilities that would not
have been allowed -
8:13 - 8:15were outrageously encouraged.
-
8:15 - 8:17There was an energy there,
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8:17 - 8:18an implacable optimism,
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8:19 - 8:21a strange mixture of humility and daring.
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8:22 - 8:24So I followed my hunches.
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8:24 - 8:27I gathered around me
a small team of people -
8:27 - 8:30for whom the label "It can't be done"
was an irresistible challenge. -
8:31 - 8:33For a year, we were penniless.
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8:33 - 8:36At the end of each day,
I made a huge pot of soup -
8:36 - 8:37which we all shared.
-
8:38 - 8:40We worked well into each night.
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8:40 - 8:42Most of our ideas were crazy,
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8:43 - 8:44but a few were brilliant,
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8:44 - 8:46and we broke through.
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8:48 - 8:51I made the decision to move
to the US after only one trip. -
8:52 - 8:53My hunches again.
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8:54 - 8:58Three months later, I had relocated,
and the adventure has continued. -
9:00 - 9:03Before I close, though,
let me tell you about my grandmother. -
9:04 - 9:08She grew up at a time when Confucianism
was the social norm -
9:08 - 9:10and the local mandarin
was the person who mattered. -
9:11 - 9:13Life hadn't changed for centuries.
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9:14 - 9:17Her father died soon after she was born.
-
9:18 - 9:19Her mother raised her alone.
-
9:21 - 9:25At 17, she became the second wife
of a mandarin whose mother beat her. -
9:27 - 9:29With no support from her husband,
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9:29 - 9:31she caused a sensation
by taking him to court -
9:31 - 9:34and prosecuting her own case,
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9:34 - 9:36and a far greater sensation when she won.
-
9:36 - 9:38(Laughter)
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9:38 - 9:43(Applause)
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9:43 - 9:45"It can't be done" was shown to be wrong.
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9:49 - 9:52I was taking a shower
in a hotel room in Sydney -
9:52 - 9:53the moment she died,
-
9:53 - 9:56600 miles away, in Melbourne.
-
9:57 - 10:01I looked through the shower screen
and saw her standing on the other side. -
10:01 - 10:03I knew she had come to say goodbye.
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10:04 - 10:06My mother phoned minutes later.
-
10:07 - 10:09A few days later,
-
10:09 - 10:12we went to a Buddhist temple in Footscray
and sat around her casket. -
10:13 - 10:16We told her stories and assured her
that we were still with her. -
10:18 - 10:22At midnight, the monk came
and told us he had to close the casket. -
10:23 - 10:26My mother asked us to feel her hand.
-
10:27 - 10:28She asked the monk,
-
10:28 - 10:32"Why is it that her hand is so warm
and the rest of her is so cold?" -
10:34 - 10:37"Because you have been holding it
since this morning," he said. -
10:38 - 10:39"You have not let it go."
-
10:42 - 10:46If there is a sinew in our family,
it runs through the women. -
10:47 - 10:50Given who we were
and how life had shaped us, -
10:50 - 10:53we can now see that the men
that might have come into our lives -
10:53 - 10:55would have thwarted us.
-
10:55 - 10:57Defeat would have come too easily.
-
10:59 - 11:03Now I would like to have my own children,
and I wonder about the boat. -
11:04 - 11:06Who could ever wish it on their own?
-
11:07 - 11:09Yet I am afraid of privilege,
-
11:09 - 11:10of ease,
-
11:10 - 11:12of entitlement.
-
11:12 - 11:16Can I give them a bow in their lives,
dipping bravely into each wave, -
11:18 - 11:20the unperturbed and steady
beat of the engine, -
11:21 - 11:24the vast horizon that guarantees nothing?
-
11:25 - 11:27I don't know.
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11:27 - 11:29But if I could give it
-
11:29 - 11:31and still see them safely through,
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11:31 - 11:32I would.
-
11:33 - 11:40(Applause)
-
11:46 - 11:49Trevor Neilson: And also,
Tan's mother is here today, -
11:49 - 11:51in the fourth or fifth row.
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11:51 - 11:56(Applause)
- Title:
- My immigration story | Tan Le | TEDxWomen
- Description:
-
In 2010, technologist Tan Le took the TEDGlobal stage to demo a powerful new interface. But now, at TEDxWomen, she tells a very personal story: the story of her family -- mother, grandmother and sister -- fleeing Vietnam and building a new life.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 11:57
TED Translators admin edited English subtitles for TEDxWomen -- Tan Le | ||
Ivana Korom edited English subtitles for TEDxWomen -- Tan Le | ||
Ivana Korom edited English subtitles for TEDxWomen -- Tan Le |