Finding your voice in an extroverted society | Abigail Smith | TEDxStLawrenceU
-
0:12 - 0:16Rosa Parks, pioneer
of the civil rights movement. -
0:17 - 0:22Steve Wozniak, inventor
of the most popular computer model. -
0:23 - 0:26Bill Gates, technological genius.
-
0:27 - 0:30Sir Isaac Newton,
world-renowned physicist. -
0:31 - 0:35J. K. Rowling, author
of the best-selling book series. -
0:36 - 0:40Dr. Seuss, one of the most famous
children's authors. -
0:40 - 0:45Our world would not be the same
without these introverted leaders. -
0:45 - 0:48Raise your hand if you're
afraid of public speaking. -
0:49 - 0:52Thank God. I thought
I was the only one here. -
0:52 - 0:54During my speech,
-
0:54 - 0:57I am going to be talking to you about
how I gained enough confidence in myself -
0:57 - 1:01to have the courage to stand
in front of all of you today. -
1:01 - 1:04In second grade, I was often described
-
1:04 - 1:07as a shy, quiet girl who had yet
to come out of her shell. -
1:07 - 1:10I favored coloring
and reading books by myself -
1:10 - 1:13over socializing with my classmates.
-
1:13 - 1:17One day, my teacher, Ms. Spaniard,
who was very aware of my shyness, -
1:17 - 1:18contacted my parents
-
1:18 - 1:21so that she could coordinate
our outfits for class the next day. -
1:21 - 1:24Here's a picture of Ms. Spaniard
and I on that very day, -
1:24 - 1:26wearing our same blue sweaters.
-
1:27 - 1:31Despite my shyness, I've always had
a somewhat goofy side to me as well. -
1:33 - 1:37As a child, I always had
high aspirations for myself, -
1:37 - 1:40and I was constantly thinking
about my future. -
1:40 - 1:44I wanted to follow my dad's footsteps
ever since I was a little girl. -
1:44 - 1:47I used to ask him,
"Dad, what do you do for a living?" -
1:47 - 1:50And he would simplify
what he actually does, -
1:50 - 1:51which is work in private equity,
-
1:51 - 1:56into little-kid terms,
by saying he sold things to people. -
1:56 - 1:58So, for the longest time,
-
1:58 - 2:00I thought my dad
sold furniture for a living. -
2:00 - 2:01(Laughter)
-
2:01 - 2:05And, of course, I wanted
to sell furniture for a living too. -
2:05 - 2:09This goal of mine quickly changed
as my interest in rocks progressed. -
2:09 - 2:12I wanted to be an archaeologist
up until high school. -
2:12 - 2:15My obsession for archaeology
grew to the point -
2:15 - 2:18where I asked my grandmother
for a rock polisher -
2:18 - 2:21and a metal detector
for Christmas one year. -
2:21 - 2:25I was convinced that I would find
some sort of gold or valuable item -
2:25 - 2:28buried in my backyard
using this very metal detector. -
2:29 - 2:31Despite my constant need
to think about the future, -
2:31 - 2:34which frankly has not changed one bit,
-
2:34 - 2:38I've always been very apprehensive
to pursue these goals. -
2:38 - 2:42How would I, a shy, quiet girl,
be able to get her voice heard -
2:42 - 2:46and pursue her dreams
in such a loud society? -
2:48 - 2:52Introverts prefer solitude
and gain their energy from being alone, -
2:52 - 2:54while extroverts prefer socialization
-
2:54 - 2:57and gain their energy
from the presence of others. -
2:57 - 3:00I credit my shyness
and fear of social disapproval -
3:00 - 3:02to being completely introverted.
-
3:02 - 3:07However, I never thought that I fit
the definition of an introvert perfectly. -
3:07 - 3:09So, as I grew up, I thought to myself,
-
3:09 - 3:12"How does my personality
really fit into the binary -
3:12 - 3:16of being completely introverted
or completely extroverted?" -
3:17 - 3:20I felt uneasy about how
my personality fit into this binary, -
3:20 - 3:23until stumbling upon a quote by Carl Jung,
-
3:23 - 3:28an influential psychiatrist
and founder of analytical psychology. -
3:28 - 3:33He proposed that there's no such thing
as a pure extrovert or pure introvert. -
3:33 - 3:35"Such a man would be
in the lunatic asylum." -
3:37 - 3:40I was under the impression that I was
an introvert in an extroverted world -
3:40 - 3:41until high school.
-
3:41 - 3:44So, I acted accordingly.
-
3:44 - 3:48In middle school, I was very comfortable
with being myself around my best friends, -
3:48 - 3:52but the minute I had to interact
with people I was less comfortable with, -
3:52 - 3:55I would tense up
and felt like was acting awkward. -
3:55 - 3:59As much as I loved my school
and as much as I loved my friends, -
3:59 - 4:02my absolute favorite part of the day
-
4:02 - 4:04was waiting in the
carpool line for my car, -
4:04 - 4:07next to my pink polka-dotted backpack,
-
4:07 - 4:10so that I could go home
and spend some time alone. -
4:11 - 4:16The perspective that I had
on how my personality fit into society -
4:16 - 4:18changed when I went to boarding school.
-
4:18 - 4:21Now that my school was also my home,
-
4:21 - 4:25I noticed my introversion a lot more so
than I ever did in middle school. -
4:25 - 4:30After a long day of socializing,
going to classes and doing work, -
4:30 - 4:35my very first instinct was to go upstairs
to my room and spend some time alone. -
4:35 - 4:36But when I was doing this,
-
4:36 - 4:39I felt like I was missing
on everyone else was socializing -
4:39 - 4:41and getting to know each other,
-
4:41 - 4:45but I was never satisfied
with spending all of my time alone, -
4:45 - 4:48nor was I satisfied
with socializing all the time. -
4:48 - 4:51So, I didn't quite
understand how I fit in. -
4:52 - 4:54Ever since Ancient Greece,
-
4:54 - 4:58when public speaking was an expectation
in our democratic society, -
4:58 - 5:01extroversion has been the ideal.
-
5:01 - 5:06Our culture is built on individualism
and the principle of speaking up. -
5:06 - 5:09We pay very little attention
to the power of creativity, -
5:09 - 5:14which is more often than not
bolstered by solitude and thinking, -
5:14 - 5:16characteristics that introverts embody.
-
5:17 - 5:23This ideal undermines a quiet resilience
that many individuals hold in our society. -
5:23 - 5:25Introversion should not
be seen as a burden -
5:25 - 5:29when it can be an opportunity
to be successful. -
5:29 - 5:32Because we live in this extrovert ideal,
-
5:32 - 5:34I felt the pressure to go out
of my comfort zone -
5:34 - 5:36and be extroverted myself.
-
5:37 - 5:39At the end of my sophomore year,
-
5:39 - 5:43I attended a social justice conference
in Seattle, Washington. -
5:43 - 5:45As a member of the youth group
of this conference, -
5:45 - 5:47we were required to gather onstage,
-
5:47 - 5:51but speaking about
our experiences was optional. -
5:51 - 5:55As an introvert at the time,
I was terrified of public speaking. -
5:55 - 5:59Nothing has changed, even though
I'm standing in front of all of you today. -
5:59 - 6:00And with no intention to speak
-
6:00 - 6:04in front of the 1,000 or so
participants of this conference, -
6:04 - 6:07my body acted before
my mind could stop it. -
6:08 - 6:11I took a step forward
and I grabbed the microphone. -
6:13 - 6:15In a world that prizes extroverts,
-
6:15 - 6:17my faithful step toward this microphone
-
6:17 - 6:21was the first step in my self-imposed
introvert's challenge. -
6:22 - 6:25I've continued to follow
my introvert's challenge -
6:25 - 6:27in an effort to become
a functional ambivert, -
6:27 - 6:32someone who embodies the qualities
of both introverts and extroverts. -
6:33 - 6:37In order to develop a more harmonic
personality in our extroverted society, -
6:37 - 6:41I opted to become a peer-discussion
leader in high school. -
6:42 - 6:45Initially, as a peer-discussion leader,
I was very uncomfortable -
6:45 - 6:49leading weighty discussions
about drug and alcohol abuse, -
6:49 - 6:51healthy versus unhealthy
relationships, and bullying, -
6:51 - 6:54with people that I barely knew.
-
6:54 - 6:57But as the year progressed,
my nervousness abated. -
6:58 - 7:03For the first time, I didn't feel confused
about how I fit into this society. -
7:03 - 7:06I was confident
that my personality mattered -
7:06 - 7:09and I was proud
to call myself an ambivert. -
7:11 - 7:16In my experience, being an ambivert
is like being a balloon. -
7:16 - 7:19Balloons are meant to expand
to reach their fullest capacity, -
7:19 - 7:22but they can only expand so far.
-
7:22 - 7:25Eventually, as time passes by,
-
7:25 - 7:29they begin to deflate
and they return to their original state. -
7:29 - 7:32As an ambivert who does
prefer introversion, -
7:32 - 7:36I strive to stretch my balloon
in extroverted ways. -
7:36 - 7:39In order to grow
and find balance in my life, -
7:39 - 7:43I've stretched myself
as far as I am capable of going. -
7:43 - 7:45However, after having done so,
-
7:45 - 7:50I know that it is important to return
to my comfortable state. -
7:50 - 7:52That's why, after this speech is done,
-
7:52 - 7:55I can guarantee that I will be
crawled up in my bed, -
7:55 - 7:57watching a TV show.
-
7:58 - 8:01I stretched my balloon farther
than I ever thought possible -
8:01 - 8:05during the summer
after my junior year of high school. -
8:05 - 8:07I continued to pursue
my introvert's challenge -
8:07 - 8:10when attending an entrepreneurial
summer study program -
8:10 - 8:13in Boston, Massachusetts.
-
8:13 - 8:16I gained an understanding of myself
that I never had before, -
8:16 - 8:22and I began sharing my voice
more frequently and more confidently. -
8:22 - 8:26I had to create two business plans
during this program, -
8:26 - 8:29and I presented them
in front of venture capitalists. -
8:29 - 8:32I acted as a CEO for both of my companies
-
8:32 - 8:36and I never felt intimidated
or scared to share my ideas. -
8:37 - 8:40I felt passionate
about what I had created, -
8:40 - 8:43and I became more extroverted
through the experience. -
8:44 - 8:47Sometimes, all it takes
is finding your passion in life -
8:47 - 8:50to feel comfortable
in an extroverted world. -
8:51 - 8:54In a loud world
where I used to keep quiet, -
8:54 - 8:59my voice finally mattered
and was finally being heard. -
9:01 - 9:05My introvert's challenge
has proven to be a successful journey, -
9:05 - 9:08and now I consider myself
a highly functioning ambivert -
9:08 - 9:12in situations that do not
come easily to introverts. -
9:12 - 9:15The balance that I found in my life
was being ambiverted, -
9:15 - 9:18and I was able to interact
in an extroverted world -
9:18 - 9:21while still being me.
-
9:25 - 9:29Rosa Parks, pioneer
of the civil rights movement. -
9:30 - 9:34Steve Wozniak, inventor
of the most popular computer model. -
9:35 - 9:38Bill Gates, technological genius.
-
9:39 - 9:43Sir Isaac Newton,
world-renowned physicist. -
9:44 - 9:48J. K. Rowling, author
of the best-selling book series. -
9:48 - 9:53Dr. Seuss, one of the most famous
children's authors. -
9:53 - 9:55These introverts show us
-
9:55 - 10:00that leaders do not have to be gregarious,
extroverted or talkative to lead. -
10:01 - 10:05People can lead by introducing things
in unconventional ways. -
10:06 - 10:08As Gandhi famously says,
-
10:08 - 10:11"In a gentle way,
you can shake the world." -
10:11 - 10:12Thank you.
-
10:12 - 10:14(Applause) (Cheers)
- Title:
- Finding your voice in an extroverted society | Abigail Smith | TEDxStLawrenceU
- Description:
-
Do you consider yourself an extrovert, introvert, or ambivert? Abigail Smith, a sophomore at St. Lawrence University, is afraid of public speaking. But you’d never know it by her performance in this talk about what it is like for shy and introverted people to adapt in gregarious social situations.
Abi is a sophomore at St. Lawrence University planning on double majoring in Business in the Liberal Arts and Communications with a minor in Spanish. She is one of three Vilas Scholars in her grade. Most recently, she has become a Campus Correspondent for the St Lawrence Chapter of Her Campus, the #1 global community and website for college women. Abi is also a member of the Women's Varsity Squash Team.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 10:20
Leonardo Silva approved English subtitles for Finding your voice in an extroverted society | Abigail Smith | TEDxStLawrenceU | ||
Claudia Sander accepted English subtitles for Finding your voice in an extroverted society | Abigail Smith | TEDxStLawrenceU | ||
Claudia Sander edited English subtitles for Finding your voice in an extroverted society | Abigail Smith | TEDxStLawrenceU | ||
Leonardo Silva edited English subtitles for Finding your voice in an extroverted society | Abigail Smith | TEDxStLawrenceU | ||
Leonardo Silva edited English subtitles for Finding your voice in an extroverted society | Abigail Smith | TEDxStLawrenceU | ||
Leonardo Silva edited English subtitles for Finding your voice in an extroverted society | Abigail Smith | TEDxStLawrenceU | ||
Leonardo Silva edited English subtitles for Finding your voice in an extroverted society | Abigail Smith | TEDxStLawrenceU | ||
Leonardo Silva edited English subtitles for Finding your voice in an extroverted society | Abigail Smith | TEDxStLawrenceU |