Got a YouTube account?

New: enable viewer-created translations and captions on your YouTube channel!

English subtitles

← 5 Money Questions to Ask Your Partner!

Get Embed Code
1 Language

Showing Revision 53 created 05/31/2019 by Alexandre Clemente.

  1. You've been dating for a while now,
    and things seem to be going well.

  2. You have the same hobbies,
    you both love dogs and kids,
  3. and neither of you
    listens to dubstep.
  4. It might be time for someone
    to pop the big question...
  5. "What's your credit score?"
  6. Nothing kills the mood like prying
    into your partner's financial history,
  7. so it's not surprising
    that many young couples
  8. will spend hundreds of hours
    planning their weddings
  9. but almost none preparing
    their financial merger.
  10. And that's kind of a big deal.
  11. Nearly one-in-three couples say finances
    cause the most stress in their relationship,
  12. followed distantly by intimacy,
    children and in-laws.
  13. More than a third of
    millennials in relationships
  14. fight about money
    at least once a week!
  15. Which is troubling, because couples
    who disagree about money
  16. once a week or more were over 30%
    more likely to get divorced
  17. than those who disagree
    a couple times a month.
  18. A lot of this marital strife
    can be avoided
  19. just by having a few honest
    conversations before tying the knot.
  20. It can be hard
    to broach the subject,
  21. so to make it easier for all
    those young lovers out there,
  22. here are five financial topics you should
    discuss with your future partner.
  23. Number 1
  24. What do you earn, what do you own,
    and what do you owe?
  25. It can be difficult to reveal
    this information,
  26. but it's best to just
    rip the band-aid off.
  27. After all, lack of money is not
    as bad as lack of communication.
  28. According to one study,
    4 in 10 couples
  29. don't agree on what
    their partner's income was.
  30. And 10% of them got the number
    wrong by $25,000 or more.
  31. Good planning is impossible if each
    of you only has half the information,
  32. and getting everything out on
    the table will only strengthen trust.
  33. Philip and I suggest having
    this talk in two parts.
  34. Send each other an email with
    a simple breakdown of your finances
  35. and then a few days later come together
    in a non-judgmental frame of mind
  36. to discuss the human story
    behind those numbers.
  37. Number 2
  38. How was money dealt with
    in your household growing up?
  39. As much as we don't
    like to admit it,
  40. we are heavily influenced by
    the environment we were raised in,
  41. so learning about your
    partner's family traditions
  42. can offer a lot of insight and
    understanding into their financial habits.
  43. Did they grow up
    on a tight budget?
  44. Did one parent run the show
    or did they share responsibility?
  45. Were they ever taught
    to balance a checkbook?
  46. The second part of this conversation
    is figuring out what traditions
  47. you each grew up with
    that you don't want to replicate.
  48. Maybe your partner's parents
    struggled with debt
  49. so it's very important to them
    to not get into that same quagmire.
  50. Number 3
  51. What will be yours, mine and ours?
  52. It's becoming more common for couples to
    keep separate accounts even after marriage.
  53. Maybe they're afraid of
    losing independence,
  54. maybe they just haven't
    gotten around to it yet,
  55. but they might be missing out
    on some benefits of a joint account
  56. like easier organization
    and transparency.
  57. If you and your partner decide
    to keep separate accounts,
  58. make sure that you're not creating
    places where secrets can hide.
  59. About one third of spouses admit
    to committing financial infidelity,
  60. which means intentionally
    deceiving your partner
  61. about how you're
    spending or managing money.
  62. Of those, 16% ended up in divorce
    expressly because of it.
  63. And remember, you don't need
    to have separate accounts
  64. to enjoy
    financial independence.
  65. Julia and I have agreed on a set amount
    of personal splurge money per month.
  66. It's always equal and we can do
    whatever we want with zero discussion.
  67. It gives us space to be ourselves without
    fear of lectures or petty squabbles.
  68. Number 4
  69. How much do you want
    to spend on kids?
  70. While most couples will talk about
    whether they want kids,
  71. far fewer will discuss
    the massive financial impact
  72. - which can start
    before they're even born!
  73. About 15% of couples
    struggle with infertility,
  74. and the cost of a common
    fertility treatment in the U.S.
  75. ranges from about
    $12,000 - $15,000.
  76. The average private adoption
    costs almost $40,000!
  77. Once you've got the kid,
    you have to decide about daycare,
  78. public school versus private,
    and of course, college.
  79. Right now, the average cost
    of sending a child
  80. to a 4-year public university
    is around $100K.
  81. It's projected to be double that
    18 years from now!
  82. Of course, this is an ongoing conversation
    that you'll be having for many years,
  83. but it's important to weigh the financial
    impact of these choices as early as possible.
  84. Number 5
  85. What are your financial goals
    in order of priority?
  86. Sharing your financial goals with
    each other can actually be kinda fun!
  87. But in our experience, taking on
    too many goals at once
  88. can make it less likely
    you'll achieve any of them.
  89. If one of you is focused
    on buying a house,
  90. and the other on starting a business,
    neither of you may get very far.
  91. But if you join forces and agree
    on what to tackle first,
  92. both of you will get where
    you want to be faster.
  93. A 2015 study asked couples for their best
    piece of financial advice for newlyweds.
  94. The top two suggestions were to save
    as early as possible for retirement
  95. and to make all
    financial decisions together.
  96. Not all of these conversations will result
    in firm agreements, but when they do,
  97. make sure to write them down in a sort of
    Financial Constitution and then sign it!
  98. It might sound
  99. but it's all too easy
    for two people
  100. to remember the same
    conversation differently!
  101. And you can always jointly
    decide to amend your constitution!
  102. It's not set in stone.
  103. Of course,
    if you're already married,
  104. you may have skipped over a few
    of these questions - but take heart!
  105. It's never too late to bring them up
    and turn a fresh page.
  106. And that's our two cents!