Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: Notes on Grief (Presented with WBEZ)

(upbeat music)

- Well, first, I just wanna
give my condolences to you

and say, I'm sorry for your losses

and thank you for your work.

And I wanna know how are you right now?

- Thank you, that's very kind.

I think I'm okay, no
actually, that's not true.

I think 'cause one of the
things I'm learning from grief

is to be, how important I think it is

to be honest about grief.

I am not okay,

but I also don't think I should be okay

because something just too catastrophic

things happen in my life too
soon, one after the other.

But I'm also, I have good days

and I have days that are not good at all.

And I'm just learning that
grief is such a complicated,

multifaceted, difficult thing.

I was very close to my parents

and when my father died last June,

it's interesting 'cause
I just wouldn't, nothing,

I would never have imagined
that my mother would die

a few months later on his birthday.

It just, and so I think
it's sort of that idea

of having two types of grief to deal with

making peace with one to an
extent and not with the other.

- Right, you wrote that.

"How does your heart break twice?"

Yeah, how are you, through the grief,

how are you keeping their memories alive

for not just you but for your daughter?

- Yeah, so I feel so
grateful that she knew them

and that they knew her,
and so she's almost six,

and so she has very clear memories

and I talk about them
with her all the time.

And I just often will say to her,

what does grandma call you?

What does grandpa call me?

And we had names for her.

My mother called her Asama,
which means beautiful child

and my father called her
Isboma, which is good child.

And so we do that a lot.

And so what I want to do is to just try

and make it sort of organic and ordinary,

that they're always there as
part of the story of her life.

And she still has clues that, she says,

"Well, grandma got me this."

And she said the other day,

"Mama, my underwear is too small now,

"that's the one that grandma got me."

And so even that I really just treasure

and I keep wanting these conversations

to continue to happen.

- I wanna talk about
the title of your book.

Why did you name it "Notes on Grief?"

Is there any, what did you mean by notes?

- I think I kind of
wanted to have a sense of,

well, first of all, something incomplete

and something, I guess
maybe kind of ongoing,

but because when I started writing it,

it's not as though I had
a particular structure

or that I knew what the
hell I was doing really,

I was just trying to find language,

trying to make sense
of what I was feeling,

and I think calling it "Notes on Grief"

was sort of, I think
it was my way of trying

to just, I guess, capture the feeling

of something unfinished,

in some ways even unformed.

So in the way that I have
a habit of taking notes

about everything, about the world.

So I used to do that in a little notebook,

but since the advent of the iPhone,

I now do it on my notes app

and it's quite random,
I mean, just whatever,

observations, thoughts, ideas.

And I think maybe that's kind of the sense

I wanted to get with this book as well,

but it's not at all a finished thing.

As in flat, I don't think
grief is ever finished.

- Do you think that you will
write more about your mother?

- That's an interesting
question, I've wanted too

and I haven't been able to, yeah,

But I think because
writing is what I always,

writing is what I used to try
and make sense of my life.

So I'm sure that I will at some point.

- One of the things about the book

is you just really did not
care what people thought

of how you were grieving.

You were angry, sometimes
you were biting when people

and understandably, so,
that's not a judgy statement,

but, oh, he's in a better place.

Oh, you have these...

All the platitudes that
people say or think

that you wanna hear

and you weren't always
polite in those situations.

And I wonder how friends and
family have received the book

that now maybe they have a better window

into how you grieve.

- It's interesting about
just thinking of politeness

in the face of grief.

I don't think that one, I don't think,

I think and I say this of course,

only just learning it
now because I'm in it,

because the thing is that I'm as guilty

as really everyone else

in kind of the result into platitudes

in the face of somebody's pain.

And so I kind of understand how
people then say things like,

oh, he's in a better place

or well, he's an angel watching over you.

But in the midst of my pain,
I found it just bearable.

And I also, in some ways
found it too simple,

too easy, too deep.

And so I've just get so angry,

except I think, in a better
and how would you know that?

Now, I'm kind of learning that.

I mean, and even at the time,

even in the middle of my anger,

I knew that people meant well,

people, I think death is such a...

It's such an unknowable,
such an unknown thing,

and it's so final,

that I think we don't know how
to deal with it in general.

I think it's just really difficult

because in some ways to be alive
is to be in denial of death

in some ways.

And so I think there's
something about us human beings

that we just, it's difficult to deal with.

And I think that's why
we result to platitudes

and we result to euphemisms
and talking about death,

which increasingly I
also don't like at all.

So, I find myself feeling
better when I just say died,

they didn't pass on to
a different existence,

I don't, they died.

And I think it's also my way
of trying to force myself

to acknowledge this
thing that has happened.

That's still difficult
for me to acknowledge.

The people close to
me, I think understand.

I think, you also learn while grieving.

You learn about love you.

You learn about the people who love you.

And sometimes you're surprised

that the people who you
think love you, maybe not,

and the people who you
don't know care about you

actually really do.

It's also been a very
clarifying period for me.

And so the people close
to me kind of gets it,

and I think reading the book,

I had a few friends who
sent me messages to say,

"oh, I'm so sorry,

"I know I'm guilty of saying this thing

"that you called out."

And that made me feel bad,

because it wasn't about calling out,

because I just want it to be true

about what I was feeling.

And so I will then write back and say,

no, I know you meant well.

It annoyed me, it absent me,

but it's not really a personal,

it's not like an indictment of the person.

If anything, it's an
indictment of this larger way

that we deal with grief and death

and mourning in our culture.

- It didn't feel like a call-out,

it felt like you were being
honest and maybe articulating

what other people feel,

I had found on my own that
it's just good to say,

I'm sorry for your loss.

And also give room for silence

and not telling people
it's going to be okay.

- Yeah.

- And I think that it's uncomfortable

for the other person
to watch someone grieve

because the instinct is to fix,

instead of letting the person cry, vent,

sitting there in silence.

- I really love that about the silence,

giving room for silence.

I think it's so true, but it's also,

in some ways, like you said,

it's, I think silence can
be very uncomfortable.

So I get that people want
to fill up that silence.

But sometimes, I just
want to hear I'm sorry,

and I just, and that's fine,

that's because nothing can fix this.

- Did you find that you started writing,

so you wouldn't forget
memories of your father?

And I'm curious about
the timing of the book

because it was published pretty quickly.

- I started writing it really,

I think maybe days, I'm not
even sure how accurate I am

because the whole period
is just a blur now.

I mean, I kind of remember very clearly

hearing that my father had died.

My brother saying that he's gone.

And I really don't remember much else.

I think maybe days after, I
really just, it's all a blur,

but I think I started in maybe like,

I don't know a week maybe, two
weeks, after my father died.

And it was really, I wrote,

I started writing
because that's what I do.

Because I always turn to
writing to make sense of things.

And so I think it just
seemed really natural

that I would start writing.

But I think sort of
the decision to publish

was something I made a
bit later in the process,

because I think when I started writing it,

I was thinking, maybe I'll send it

to my brothers and my sisters,

because obviously it's
something that's shared.

But at some point I thought,

I actually want this to be published.

And I think that's where
this idea of wanting to,

it's like memorializing my father,

just refusing to let go.

And also just wanting to tell the world,

I wanted to tell the world
that I had been so blessed

to have been raised by this
just lovely, decent man.

- How is death treated in Nigeria?

And I also wonder if people
have that same uncomfortability

that we're talking about,

are there any cultural differences

between the U.S and Nigeria?

- Yeah, I mean, certainly,
I think in the U.S,

I think there's more
discomfort about death, right?

I think, and in some ways
it's that interesting thing

about American culture
that I sometimes wonder

if it's also linked to
that kind of youth worship.

In the American culture is so geared

towards the youthfulness
and youth and the young,

and I'm sure you can tell from my tone,

it's not something I necessarily admire.

And in like, well, I should
talk about Igbo culture

because obviously Nigeria.

So Igbo culture, which is mine,

age is revered, age is still,

even though obviously
everyone's become westernized

and everyone, but I think
age is still revered.

And so because of that,

I don't think there's
as much for discomfort

with just acknowledging death

as the reason the U.S.

And I think both can be,

I mean, I had trouble with both well,

especially in the early
months after my father died,

because I sometimes feel that
Nigerian friends or relatives

or even acquaintances could be a bit too,

maybe a bit too much of a fact.

I had a huge fight with
a friend of families

who no, actually, no, it
wasn't my dad, it was my mom,

who a few days after my mother died

and I was just completely broken,

I just would not see anyone,

just, and he sends me a message to say,

important people are coming to your house,

you must come out and see them.

And I remember thinking,
my mother just died,

I do not have to do anything,

but that to me is a very
Nigerian and this guy meant well,

so his point was, you have the important,

government dignitaries
coming, you must come out,

because that's a proper thing to do.

And it's that kind of in Nigeria

when your mother is gone,

it's happened, so you might as
well come out and be a host,

which I just did not get
from American friends

who were sending good wishes,

I think, but also I felt
that American friends

were often more tentative.

And so even that sometimes made me think,

just say my mother died,

don't say, I mean, this kind
of resulting to euphemism

and not saying it directly, yeah.

- What's the response you've
gotten from other readers,

people who aren't in your
family or acquaintance circle?

- I should be very moved

because honestly, one of the things I hope

that this book would do

would be to help other people grieving.

Because I found it very comforting to read

other people's honest accounts of grief.

And I took a lot of, I don't
know, strains from them.

I went through a period

of just wanting to read
everything about grief

and then went through a
period of not wanting to read

one word about death or grief.

And when I was reading about
grief, I found that the more,

just really honest stark
accounts, just really comforted me

I just, I felt I'm not alone.

And I think that's the
most comfort one can get.

So I've actually been really happy to hear

from people who've said
that it helped them

and actually a friend of a friend,

so someone I don't knows, sent
a message through my friend

to say that she lost
her parents years ago,

but reading this book
suddenly gave her language

to articulate how she had felt,

and she hadn't been able to do that.

And I was very moved by that.

- It probably gave people,
a lot of people permission

that maybe they didn't
think that they had,

I have a five-year-old daughter also.

And do you feel like the industry

or other outsiders have
changed their view of you

now that you're a mother,

changed their view of you as a writer?

In terms of expectations,

or I'm almost reluctant
to ask this question

because it gets so gendered with mothers

in talking about motherhood
and their careers and writing,

but if there's been any shift

in how you have been perceived or treated.

- I think that's a really
interesting question.

I feel like these are things
we should talk about, Moore,

because mother who does
affect women's lives

and I don't see where we should protect.

And obviously I also understand

what the potential drawbacks are

because it's kind of it's,

this is the thing that often
is used to hold women back

when they want to work outside the home.

And then, so sometimes one
wants to just ignore it

so that it doesn't become a
bigger problem than it is.

But my view is that,

motherhood just profoundly
changes you forever.

And how can you not
change everything else?

I think when I got, I
remember when I got pregnant

and actually before I got pregnant,

I wasn't sure that, I've
always loved children,

I've always loved other people's children.

So, I'm very much, I'm such an auntie,

like I'm completing the business

of all my nephews and nieces.

But I remember thinking that

my writing was so important
to me that I wasn't sure

that I could be the kind of
mother that I wanted to be.

And so that maybe I really had
no business having children.

That's what I used to think.

Obviously now with my daughter,

I cannot imagine life without her.

But I also realized that
things have changed,

it's not just about the
expectations and needs,

it's also about my own,

things have changed for me internally.

I feel as like I lost two
years of brain ability

from pregnancy and I was just woozy

the whole time I was pregnant.

I felt like I couldn't think straight.

I have the baby and breastfeeding,

everything was just very woozy and just,

I just couldn't create, right?

And it was such a hard time for me

because I think I had convinced myself

that, of course, yes, you can do it all,

you have the baby,

and the next minute you're
finishing the next novel,

and it just wasn't happening.

And I realized as well that
the physicality of pregnancy

had affected my creative
output, it really had.

So, it's the pregnancy,
it's the early months

when everything is new and strange,

like my gosh, it's not latching on,

and then I'm reading all of
these books about pregnant,

about mother who had been like,

if you don't breastfeed,
you'll be a terrible mother.

And so it was such a
difficult time for me.

And it's also one of the reasons

that I want to talk more about what,

the ways in which women's bodies
and what women's bodies do

affect women's lives.

And I also remember a man
who is a writer saying to me,

"Don't you feel bad that, how,"

and it was sort of like,

"Oh, how terrible your pregnancy is,

"sort of stealing writing time

"and creative time away from you."

And it's not as if what he said was false,

but somehow I just did not take it well.

And I said, maybe it has,
because one has to be honest,

but at the same time,
pregnancy and childbirth

has opened me up to so many emotions.

So many, there's a new ability
to understand human gains

that actually, I feel really
lucky and blessed to have.

And that in fact, in the end,

I think we end with creativity.

So, it was sort of my way of saying,

well, yeah, so I lost two years,
so you can't get pregnant,

but guess what?

My pregnancy gave me
material, thank you very much.

(Chimamanda laughs)

But I also think, I
mean, I don't know about,

I mean, I think my
publishers are still sort of,

I don't know that much change with that,

I think, I'm just, I've
become a very slow writer.

I find it frustrating.

I'm not sure how much of that

I can still attribute to my child.

I think I'm just slower now, I just am,

but I can say sure that the
physicality of having a child,

it's not even about other
people's expectations,

it's about what it did for me internally

and make creative space,
and that was significant.

- During the pandemic,

my husband would create these
little Ted Talk sessions

with our teenage daughters.

And one of them was on you.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I'm not a part of it, that's their thing,

which I think is great in
talking about feminism.

And where do you, there's
a certain commodification

that I think is happening
with feminism right now,

although it's also being
more widely embraced,

what do you make of where
feminism as an ideology

and its popularity stands right now?

- I feel it's, and I hear you about both.

I think it's not quite,

I mean, there is of course a kind of,

I guess the cool elements to an extent

so that if you're a famous celebrity,

it's kind of cool I think,

to maybe wear T-shirt that says feminist.

But I sometimes, I do
think that we may be,

that we over emphasis,

I think we give it more
power than it deserves.

I guess my point is that
there's still in the real world,

an incredible amount of resistance

and backlash to the idea of feminism,

just fundamentally the idea

that women are equal human
beings, there's still a lot.

I know, for example, how,

when I put on quote came-out as feminist,

my perception, particularly
in Nigeria changed.

So I had been this writer
who, we love her books

and she's, and then the minute

I start talking about feminism,

I become what they call controversial.

And really when you sit
back and think about it,

I'm thinking the only thing that changed

is that I gave a Ted Talk saying

that we should all be feminists.

And suddenly everything,

in some ways I'm now covered
as this controversial figure.

And so I like to joke and say
that if I take a sip of water,

somebody in the Nigerian press will say,

"She'd sip water like a feminist."

And then lots of people will be like,

feminists are terrible,
they want to kill men,

they, and I've been accused of things

like destroying marriages,

because they say young
girls listen to her,

and then they don't want to get married.

And I've been at the airport
where parents come to me

and say, "My daughter loves you

"and I'm very worried about that,

"'cause I'm worried that
she'll never get married."

I mean, it's--

- Well, like, what do you say
when someone comes up to you

and says something like that?

- Oh, I actually, usually,
if I'm in a good mood,

I'm already happy to engage.

Because there's a part of me

that just, I want to convince people.

So I'll say, no, I think
you've misunderstood.

And I'll say, well, why do you
think she can't get married?

And then I'll say things like,

let me tell you what feminism means.

Do you want your daughter
to have access to education?

Do you want your daughter's clutches

to be cut off forceful and disgustingly

in the name of FGM?

Do you want her to have a choice

to leave a marriage that's bad?

Do you want her to have access to a job

that she deserves and she's qualified for?

Do you want her boss to grab her breast

when she walks into his office?

I mean, I sort of list things.

Do you want her to be greeted

when she walks into a
restaurant with a man?

Do you want her to be allowed

to walk into a restaurant alone?

Because actually in
this country, in Legos,

which is so cosmopolitan,
there're parts of Legos,

where you still cannot walk into a bar,

if you don't have a man with you.

And so, I say things like that,

and suddenly they're like,
well, yes, but it's just that,

and often they create a boogeyman,

they say, but you know that
all these other feminists

that say that we should,
that men should be killed.

And I'm thinking, no,
nobody actually says that.

And even if somebody did,

feminism seems to be the only
sort of justice movement,

which is what I like to call it,

where we pick up a few extremes

and we then try to pretend
that they represent the whole.

So that happened actually quit a bit.

And then, I meet young
women who say things to me

like, oh, I went out on a date

and then I have an opinion that's stronger

and then the guy says to me,

you must be follow of Chimamanda.

And that was the end
of the date, it's so...

(Chimamanda laughs)

Oh, it's actually,

and then I meet people
and people are like,

oh, I'm surprised, I'm so
surprised that you are nice.

I'm like why wouldn't?

And they're like, because
you're a feminist.

So there's just so much.

And I find that, and
sometimes it's exhausting.

But then on the other hand,
I keep thinking to myself,

if it's making a difference

for one young woman in this country,

I'm going to keep talking about it.

And I feel as though they're
young women now in this country

who have language and
who have more confidence

and who most of all know
that they're not alone.

I was actually talking
to a woman in Germany,

she's Nigerian, and she said to me,

she grew up in a very
traditional household.

She said her father had dinner.

They would have conversations,

her father would ask her first brother,

do you have anything to say?

Second brother, do you
have anything to say?

Conversation is over.

And they're three sisters,
they just did not matter.

And she says that at the time,
she knew something was wrong,

but she did not know the name for it.

And she says, "So I
listened to your Ted Talk,

"and I was like, oh, so that's what it is.

"That's your name for all of
the issues I have with my dad."

And just hearing that,

which she just told me about a week ago,

just, I felt so, I don't know,

it's that thing where you
think, my life's work, right?

I'm like, this young woman
suddenly doesn't feel as alone

because suddenly she's like,

oh, this thing actually has validity

in this feelings that I have,

these objections that I
have to my being reduced

because I'm a girl.

So yeah, I mean, yeah, I
think I've rambled for a bit--

- Yeah, so this is another
example of giving permission.

- Yes, and that makes me so happy.

She really, I mean, just
hearing her say that,

just made me so happy.

- This year, you also
published a lengthy essay

on your website about the riff between you

and two other Nigerian writers

and accusations that you're anti-trans,

oppressing queer people.

What has been the fallout
since that essay was published?

And where do things stand?

- Oh, the fallout, I guess the fallout,

I guess the fallout, I mean,

I should say that one of
the things that's good,

but I think for me at least,
is that I don't criticize,

I'm not on social media,
I'm not on Twitter,

and it's a decision I made years ago

because I just don't think
it would work for me,

because I'm not a person who...

Because yeah, I mean, it
just wouldn't work for me.

So I think because of
that, I don't, I cannot,

I mean, I know obviously that

it was widely read, widely discussed,

there're people for,
there're people against,

and you know honestly, I
have absolutely no regrets.

I would completely write that again today.

And it's because, and I should also say

that I think it's a
consequence of grieving.

That I suddenly just
that I do not have time

for rubbish anymore,

just my patience for nonsense is gone.

And I just feel like that
the things that are wrong,

that one should be able
to call-out as wrong.

And there's something, there's
a larger problem, I think,

that I feel very strongly about,

which is, I think that there's a thing

that's happening on the left in the U.S,

and I think it's being
transferred, it's being,

kind of in the way that America
sort of exports everything

and the rest of the world, just
greedily imports everything

that even this discourse
is not being exported

to Europe, to Africa,

where this is also toxic of language,

you have to say something in particular

when you cannot question,

and particularly if you're a woman.

And so I'm a person who
I've always asked questions,

that's the person that I am.

And if I don't get answers
that make sense to me,

I will not accept it.

And so the problem really is,

and in some ways it was hurtful

because in Nigeria, I'm
actually often accused

of, as the parent and other
parents of a young person said,

"You're responsible for
encouraging gay people,

"that is why so many young people

"are coming out as gay in this country

"cause you're encouraging them."

To which I said,

that's something that
I will wear with pride.

The point being, I'm known,

and I, and it's something
that I'm very proud of,

to speak out for gay Nigerian citizens.

This is a country where it's
actually illegal to be gay.

And so somehow to,

because I have rejected a second language

about transgender ideology

and I continue to reject that language.

I just feel like, one
cannot then say to me

that I am anti-LGBTQI people?

Because I'm not.

but I'm just not going to use language

that doesn't make sense
to me, and I feel--

- And what language are you rejecting?

- I'm rejecting the language,

so if I see that I think
that there's a difference

between trans-women and
women that are born female,

and I'm told that you cannot see that,

I just find it absurd.

Why do we have to deny difference

in the name of inclusiveness?

Actually the whole point of
inclusiveness is difference.

And part of the reason that I reject that,

is it just makes me think, it's
like saying I'm color blind.

I just feel like it makes no sense.

And it makes it difficult to
talk about the particular needs

of each group.

The health needs of trans-women

are fairly different from
the health needs of women

who are born female.

So if we're going to pretend
that there's no difference,

how do we talk about that?

I mean, just, okay, I think
it was sort of new to me too.

So anyway, the question
was what's the fallout.

I don't, I mean, the fallout
is that there are people who,

there's a woman who was
supposed to interview me

and then she says,

"Oh no, the magazine council,

"because they see you're anti-trans."

And I was just like, that's fine.

The fallout is that I'm
giving a talk in South Africa,

and then I hear that the people

are being very insulting online

and saying they'll boycott
it, and that's also fine.

I mean, I really think that,

I don't need to be listened
to by everyone, right?

I don't, and we don't have to agree.

And I just feel like that
there's something lucky

and it's not even compassion.

There's a kind of good faith lacking.

I just find it so, I mean,

to be told that I am killing trans-women.

I mean, I just find, it's just ridiculous.

And I kind of think that,

I sometimes think that
there are a lot of people

who could speak out who
are not speaking out.

And so there's a culture of fear,

and I think it's so
unhealthy for everything.

And it's often people
who are on the same side,

so this is actually my tribe,

but then it's the people who
are supposed to be with you,

who are your tribe, that turn around

and just make very easy targets of you.

I mean, the end, actually leave the people

who I in fact, the actual
trans-phobic people,

nobody talks about that.

But instead it's women who are feminists,

who actually are all for
inclusivity and difference

and who then turned
out to be the monsters,

and I just think,

I think there's a lot of
misogyny there as well.

- You're pretty critical
of celebrity culture.

And no, okay.
- I don't.

I don't think, I mean,

I guess it depends on
what that means though.

- Well maybe the way
social media plays with it?

I could be wrong, so I can take--

- I actually think a lot about celebs.

I mean, it's really not
a thing that I spent.

I mean, I think it's being,

I think celebrity culture is part of,

is not something I really
pay a lot of attention.

That's it, to be honest.

- You said you made a
decision not to be on Twitter

because it's not for you.

- Yeah.

- What's your relationship with other,

do you have relationship with
other social media platforms?

- I have Instagram,

which I like because I
think it appeals to vanity

and I have a very healthy day inside.

Actually the reason I
started doing Instagram

and also Facebook, but I
don't really do it myself,

it's not all the time.

But it's also because I realized

that if you do not tell,

to a certain extent social
media is here to stay,

it's, this is it, right?

This is our reality.

And there's a sense

in which if you completely
remove yourself from it,

what you're doing is
you're opening the door

for other people to tell your story.

So kind of participating
in Facebook and Instagram,

putting up things that I'm doing,

I just kind of, I think it's a way of,

yeah, telling my own story.

So, yes, that I do,

but I think Twitter is
a different platform.

- So do you feel like
you have more control

over messaging in Instagram,

or maybe it's just not
the same kind of feedback

that you might get it on Twitter?

- Yeah, I think Twitter has,

there's a lot more performativity,

there's a lot more,

you're supposed to be having conversations

in this very short snippets of words

and it's invariably
going to be about people

kind of trying to one-up one another.

And it just, I don't see how necessarily

one can tell one story
through that medium,

in a way that sort of really,

it's not about, so Facebook and Instagram,

and putting up things
that I'm doing, right?

So you kind of see what I'm
doing from my own point of view.

So in a way, it's just really

the ability to tell one's own story.

I don't want to be on Twitter
because I don't want to tweet.

(Chimamanda laughs)

- What are you doing for joy?

- Family and friends,

and also really learning to let
myself feel what I'm feeling

and in a strange way,

it might not often
actually results in tears,

but I think ultimately
it's a joyful thing.

And it's still hard for me because, yeah.

So yeah, so family, friends,

learning to just let myself
feel what I'm feeling.

- What stories or writers
are you reading right now

or who is exciting you?

- What am I reading now?

I'm reading lots of things.

I'm re-reading a lot of Holy Shrinker

because I'm writing a piece
about him, his recent book.

Trying to, see every time

I'm asked what I'm reading I forget.

Well, here we have "Collected
Poems of Audre Lorde"

- Audre Lorde.

- Yes, and, this I just started reading,

it's a history book about Nigeria,

then I'm reading showing
translators book again.

But really what you think about,

I'm reading because I'm
trying to write fiction,

I'm reading a lot of poetry.

I read a lot of poetry
when I'm writing fiction,

because I don't like to read fiction

when I'm writing fiction,

because I'm terrified that I will start

to sound like whoever
I'm write, or reading,

especially if I like who I'm reading.

So I'm just reading a lot of poetry,

just actually reading this
book by me like Alexander

called "Birthplace with Various Stones."

Also reading this essay collection,

that's edited the Tracy
K. Smith and John Freeman.

That's called as a
"Revolution outside my Love."

It's just a bunch of essays
that are actually quite good.

So I just, I think in general, I just,

I read too many things at the same time

and this period

that's being just
emotionally difficult for me

there're times when it's hard
for me to escape in the book,

because, so then I just
find myself reading.

I read a bit of this,
I read a bit of that.

I'm just switching things off
like him, so that's happened,

that's actually been happening
much more since last June,

and it's not necessarily a good thing.

- Can you tell us anything about the novel

you're working on?

- No.

- Okay, when will it possibly be out?

And I think there's no writer,

so you may not have a date.

(Chimamanda laughs)

- No, I cannot, I mean,
I'm so superstitious,

and was talking about being a slow writer,

I really am, it frustrates me to no end

and so even talking about process

can sometimes make me very panicky

because I'm thinking,

all right, you're talking about
the process, are you okay?

That means you're not
going to be able to write

for the next week.

Nothing will work, so then
I get very superstitious

and then I missed when I was younger

when I was just so, I
mean, it was just sort of,

I just couldn't wait to have free times

so that I could write.

And now, now I have all this
freedom, I'm sitting here,

my bloody study and just
nothing has happened,

and it's just the most...

- What is your writing process?

Is it silence, solitude, music?

- No, no, it's certainly silence.

Not music, when I'm writing
music is noise to me.

I need silence, I need
solitude also space.

So it's being alone in the house.

Just feed something in me.

And even if everyone is quiet,
I still know I'm not alone

and that gets in the way.

So not only do I need the
solitude I also just need,

and I just need to know that
there're empty rooms around me

and that nobody is in them.

But I don't really have like
a, I don't have a set time,

I wake up by eight and I'm at my desk

and I wish I did, but I don't.

So I'm just kind of walking
when I can, when it happens.

And then when it's not happening

I'm reading hoping that
wards will come to me.

- I teach creative
non-fiction to MFA students

at Northwestern and
class starts next week.

And like I did last year,

the first day of class,

I also share a Ted Talk from
you about the singular story.

Do you think there've been improvements

since you released that Ted Talk?

- I think so, a little
bit, yeah, I think so.

I'm also generally, I
guess I'd like to be,

yeah, I think there's a greater awareness

that this idea of that
you cannot judge a person

by one story that we all, most people,

and a place as well.

And also, I think there's
a bit more of an awareness

in media about power

and how power really affects storytelling,

especially of places,

that if you're a journalist from New York

and you swoop into Legos

and write a piece about Nigeria,

Nigerian cannot swoop into New York

and it's just that the
part is a part difference.

I think there's a bit more
of an awareness of that,

but obviously there's so
much more that can be done.

I think, and I think even in television,

which can be very guilty of
a single story of coverage.

I feel as though there's just
a bit more of an awareness,

I think so.

I feel like I'm certain, so?

- No, what were you gonna say?

- No, I was going to be
kind of silly and say that,

I think maybe there's this a
little bit of an improvement

with me and my single
stories of people and places.

- Well, it's been
wonderful to talk to you,

thank you so much for your
time and sharing your stories

and your journey with us.

- Thank you, it was really lovely.