The Ethics of Looking And The "Harmless" Peeping Tom

It’s often said that cinema,

by it's very nature, is voyeuristic,

because film offers the audience a window

into the hidden lives of others.

Watching people’s stories on the big

and small screen can indeed be

fascinating and exhilarating.

But the act of looking can also feel

uncomfortable, invasive, even violating.

Underpinning these uncomfortable moments

we can find some alarming messages

about the role of consent.

To explain, let’s start here

in the normal bedroom of a normal boy

doing normal boy stuff.

Normal stuff

like spying on the girl next door.

Popular culture is filled

with scenes like this one

Scenes in which one character,

usually a man

spies on another character,

usually a woman

without that person’s knowledge or consent

To be clear, we're talking about secret

surveillance of a person

while they're alone

in various states of undress

or engaged in sexual activity.

This is invasive looking

that violates a person's

reasonable expectation of privacy.

In a staggering number of movies

and tv shows, this type of spying

isn't done by the villain.

It is instead perpetrated

by "nice guy" characters.

"Slow down, baby"

These are straight men, who are otherwise

presented as decent.

Or, at the very least,

mostly harmless.

"Hey! Hey!"

This media patern is so prevasive,

I thought it needed a name.

"He's a peeping Tom!"

So I call it "The harmless peeping Tom".

"You know, it occurs to me,

that you can see right into Donna's house

from my driveway."

"You don't say"

(off-screen laughter)

All of the boys on "That 70s Show"

for instance, casually participate

in spying behavior.

"No, Anette! Not the robe!"

(off-screen laughter)

"Quick, somebody yell

'pillow fight' in a girl voice"

But the character of Fez

is the quintessential example

of a harmless peeping Tom.

(off-screen laughter)
- "Oh my god, Fez!"

"Nice honkers!"

(off-screen laughter)

"Get out of here!"

"Fez?"

There's a years long running gag

about how he's always spying on women.

Often hiding in their bedroom closets.

"Oh my god, did you see anything?"

"Not much, you should really think

about a nightlight."

And yet this pattern of intrusive behavior

is just considered a minor

nuisance on the show.

"Ouch"

"You okay?"

(camera click)

"Fez!"

(off-screen laughter)

"With this, you can see

through a lady's clothes"

(off-screen laughter)

"Okay, Jackie, prepare to be ogled"

Fez even ends up

in a romantic relationship

with one of the women

he's spied on.

Over 8 seasons of prime time television.

Scenes in which boys secretly spy on girls

were a staple of so called

"teen sex comedies".

In the late 1970s and early 80s.

But the media pattern didn't begin or end

with Animal House, Porky's

or Revenge of the Nerds.

"Oh! Yeah!"

Alfred Hitchcock was famously obsessed

with voyeurism.

And included peeping scenes

in several of his most notable films.

Since then, we've seen

Harmless Peeping Toms pop up

in practically every genre.

From action movies to horror films.

From romantic dramas

to science fiction adventures.

And it's not uncommon for video games

to present players with interactive

peeping opportunities.

"Look at this, come here"

"There's a naked woman across the street"

"Where?"

"Second floor from the top

see the window on the left"

"Wow"

The trope has also been a mainstay

on TV sitcoms.

"Oh my God, that's Rachel naked!"

Usually as a one-off gag

in a handful of episodes.

"Would you have opened the door

if you knew it was me?"

"Not since I found out

the teddy bear you gave me

had a webcam in it!"

While we may typically think

of peeping Toms as a stranger

hiding in the bushes,

spying can take many different forms.

"Did I miss anything?"

"Oh my God"

"Oh!"

"Oh, thank you, God, for this wonderful,

wonderful day"

Occasionally, spying is presented

as a part of man's job.

Like a cop on a stakeout.

"Oh, wow, oh yeah"

But in many of those scenarios,

the Harmless Peeping Tom trope

still applies.

"To protect and to serve"

"Ooh, ooh, ohh, I love my job so much, oh"

In espionage themed media,

the guy might have access

to high-tech spying gadgets.

"Nine different enhanced visions modes

every little boy's dream:

the penetrating mode"

"And would you look at that"

In superhero stories

or supernatural plot lines

the guy's powers may be used

as a way to gain access

to a woman's body.

(woman screams)

"And He saw, that it was good"

Superman, for example

is often upheld as a paragon of good

decent manhood

and yet even he steals a quick peek

from time to time.

Harmless Peeping Toms

aren't always the hero.

But, they're not the villain either.

"I wind up seeing a lot more of Ava

than I bargained for"

Even if the protagonist has, let's say

questionable morals

or is involved

in other criminal activities

the spying itself isn't framed as a strike

against his character.

And critically

the audience is still meant

to indentify with HIM as he's peeping.

"What?"

It's not unusual

for invasions of privacy

to be framed as endearing.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh!"

"I think you're in my bath..."

"Close your eyes!"

or just the innocuous behavior

of a guy with a crush.

Even when peeping is called out

as pathetic, annoying or a little creepy

"It was an accident."

"You're an asshole!"

his actions are, more often than not,

quickly forgiven and forgotten.

A good way to illustrate the deeper

problem here can be found in the

"no peeking" plot cliché.

"How did you see it?

You said you wouldn't look!"

"Sorry, as I told you the hero

always peeks."

The set up is a familar one: a woman

needs to change clothes for some reason.

But her guy friend is standing right there

"You're not bothering me."

So naturally she asks him to turn around

or close his eyes while she undresses.

"Would you please turn around?"

"Why?"

"Just turn around."

"Just look,

look over there for a second."

"Yeah."

"Just turn around and look at the

waterfalls Skippy all right, please?"

"Fine."

"Stay in guard, no peeking."

Does our protagonist respects her wishes?

Of course not.

"Don't look!"

"I said your eyes have to go over there!"

Most of the time, he peeks anyway

"Turn around!"

"Now!"

"Turn around."

and there are rarely any consequences

for violating her trust.

In fact his trangression

is likely to be rewarded.

Now sometimes the women character will

explicitely ask not to be looked at,

while in other examples it's just implied

that the guy shouldn't be staring.

It's incredibly rare to see a man who,

given the opportunity, doesn't peek.

"Don't look."

"Okay."

If it’s a romantic story, the transgression is
often presented as a sign that he’s attracted to her.

In reality though,

if a man demonstrates a deliberate disregard for consent or women’s boundaries

that should be a major major red flag.

"Drop dead, dirtbag."

Even though Invasive spying is often considered
just a nuisance crime by law enforcement,

being spied-on isn’t a minor inconvenience for the victims

"Hello"

it can cause real lasting emotional harm.

"Someone there?"

"That's it, I can almost see it."

Sometimes peeping scenes are
filmed in a family-friendly way

"There she is."

while in other media it can be much more explicit.

In fact throughout this video essay

I’ve had to use a lot of creative editing techniques
and strategic blurring

just to make the footage appropriate for YouTube.

"Oh, you imp. You've got nudity in there!"

Despite what some conservative groups
would have you believe,

the problem here is not the depiction
of sex or nudity on-screen.

Depending on how it’s framed, sex and nudity can be represented in all kinds of ways.

"Should be fine."

The real issues with the
“Harmless” Peeping Tom trope

stems from the lack of consent

between the characters in the story

and how those violations
are framed as “no big deal.”

"Did you see me change
out of my clothes by the Jacuzzi?"

"I thought that you were catatonic."

There’s a common misconception that voyeurism is,
by definition, looking without permission.

But that is not true.

Voyeurism can, and I’d argue should, be a consensual act.

It is, of course, possible to film scenes,
even voyeuristic ones,

where characters look at each other
in consensual ways.

"Steve..."

But cinematic depictions of consensual gazing

are not anywhere near as prevalent as scenes
where permission has not been granted.

Up until this point, we’ve been discussing
the perspective of characters on-scene

but there’s another critical perspective
we haven’t yet considered.

And that is the perspective of the camera.

Let’s return for a moment to that
“normal” boys bedroom from earlier.

Although, it’s not a “normal” bedroom, is it?

It’s really a movie set.

And that’s not really a “normal” boy either,

that’s an actor working from a script.

In fact, everything we see here is
a deliberate choice by the filmmakers.

The woman is being put on display by the director

who is careful to position her body
so the protagonist can get a good look.

But the shots are also designed so
the audience gets to peek along with him.

"Mr. Bishop, do you mind if I take a look?"

"Carl..."

This then makes the viewer complicit.

We are made to vicariously participate
in the act of non-consensual looking.

"Really, 007?"

This is true, incidentally,
even when the character doing the peeping

is clearly meant to be a creep.

There’s another important conversation to be had
about what film theorist Laura Mulvey called

“the male gaze”

especially as it relates to how the camera moves
and frames women’s bodies in a sexualized way

independent of the protagonist’s point of view.

But for our purposes here,
we’re mostly focusing on the characters in the story.

The audience for movies is, of course,
made up of people of all genders,

but the male character’s perspective
is the one we are sharing

and therefore it’s his lurid excitement
we are meant to identify with.

Just to reiterate, narratively speaking,
these women don’t know they’re being watched

and therefore haven’t given consent.

Not to put too fine a point on it,

but the reason these scenes are
supposed to be titillating to the viewer

is precisely because the looking
is being done without permission.

"It's like we're seeing something
we're not supposed to be seeing

which is kind of why it makes it so f***ing hot."

All the actors involved in these productions have,
presumably,

agreed to be represented in the ways we see on-screen,

but fictional representations can still help
normalize non-consensual behavior.

"Good afternoon!"

It’s worth quickly noting
the particular type of actress

that filmmakers like to cast as the object of
men’s voyeuristic attention.

Usually she’s young, thin, white,
and conventionally attractive.

It’s such a well established pattern in Hollywood

that whenever the victim differs from
that very specific expectation,

"Gotcha!"

the scene is used as a gross-out punchline

"A man!"

or a transphobic joke.

"That dude looks like a lady."

"Hey, wow! Look in that window!"

Scenes where boys surreptitiously
spy on girls or women

are especially common in coming-of-age stories.

In these type of narratives spying is
often presented as a rite-of-passage,

"Holy Christ!"

as just an inevitable part of
young men’s sexual awakening.

The boys may be initially presented

as shy, awkward, or cowardly
where women are concerned.

And it’s through their peeping behavior
that they’re able to gain self-confidence.

According to the visual language of cinema,

spying on girls is a formative experience for boys,

so much so that it takes on an almost
spiritual significance.

In this way the transition
from boyhood into manhood

is built on a violation of women’s bodies.

"She was really deep in thought because
she left herself unguarded a few times,

and I got to see halfway up her thighs that
led up to the golden palace of the Himalayas."

Sometimes the boys are presented
as melancholy loners,

but in other scenarios peeping is
framed as a social activity.

" Her hands are moving down."
"I gotta see this!"

The act of objectifying women

then becomes a bonding experience for young men.

An experience that also reinforces their shared
sense of male dominance.

"Bag it and spank it, boys."

"Shit, get down!"

Now, don’t get me wrong,
sexual curiosity is completely normal,

however non-consensual behavior

should never be confused
for healthy sexual exploration.

The default should always be
an expectation of privacy.

"Dude, I'm changing."

"Ah, sorry!"

In John Berger’s 1972 TV series “Ways of Seeing”

he observes that the act of looking isn’t passive.

It’s active.

Men dream of women,

women dream of themselves being dreamt of.

Men look at women,

women watch themselves being looked at

I don’t want to deny the crucial part
that seeing plays in sexuality,

but there’s a great difference in being seen,

as oneself naked,
or being seen by another in that way,

and a body being put on display.

Berger was talking about society
as reflected in European oil paintings,

but the observation could just as
easily be applied to cinema.

The male characters are active and fully dressed,

while the women are passive and exposed,

unprepared to be seen,
and therefore framed as vulnerable.

This sets up an automatic power dynamic
wherein the man has the upper-hand.

The message these scenarios
send to women and girls

is that being spied on should be taken
as a compliment,

"So you were watching me."

"But for how long? Just tonight?"

"A week, two weeks since I moved in?"

because men’s sexual attention is
always supposed to be flattering,

regardless of whether or not
those feelings are reciprocated.

"That's either the creepiest

or the sweetest thing I have ever heard."

In her essay “Intrusions”
author Melissa Febos explains that

"Just as these productions encourage men to believe
that stalking and peeping are acceptable forms of courtship,

likely to resolve in a love match,

so do they prescribe to women
a desire to be the object of such behavior.”

"Think maybe I ought to pull this curtain.

There seems to someone staring
at you from across the court."

"Oh, no. Don't do that.

My girlfriend and I,
we never pull the curtain."

"We just have a ball with him."

In the movies and tv shows
we’ve been discussing

it’s not uncommon for the woman
who is being sped on

to indicate to the audience
that she secretly enjoys this violation.

The underlying implication is clear,

to be desired by men

is what gives women value.

"Well, I think you should call the police!"

"Oh, no! That would spoil everything."

"After all, he's been so patient,

it only seems fair.

That dangerous message is

compounded by another idea
baked into these scenes:

that when it comes to sexual desire, men and boys
“just can’t control themselves.”

As if men are compelled by
some invisible force of nature

to infringe upon women’s bodies.

The myth is not true, of course.

Men and boys can in fact control their urges.

"Hold up!"

Still, media reinforces the myth that

“men aren’t responsible for their own actions,”

occasionally by transforming the peeping tom

into a hapless victim
of the woman’s seductive trap.

Here’s Melissa Febos again
from her essay “Intrusions”

“It is also a narrative that exonerates men.

The more plausible it seems
that women are always performing,

the less indictable the watching.”

"Next thing you know,
she starts deliberately undressing

in front of the window, with the lights on."

"It's like she knew I was watching her."

It should be ludicrous on its face

to blame women for men’s illicit spying

but movies consistently leave us
with the impression

that it’s the woman’s fault
for allowing herself to be seen,

even when undressing
in the privacy of her own home.

"Oh, god. You saw me?"

"You weren't trying to entice me with your nakedness?"

"No, no!

And you actually thought I wanted
to have sex with you?"

Everything we’ve been discussing in this video

is part of a larger culture of male entitlement.

Too many men in our society have been taught

that women’s bodies should
always be available to them.

Available to be evaluated,
to be judged, to be compared,

and to be used as fuel in their personal fantasies.

"I believe I'm going to think about her
before I go to sleep tonight."

"Anybody thinks about her,
it's gonna be me."

By this twisted logic,

any woman who chooses not to put herself on display

is then taking away men’s “right to look.”

"Oh, come on.
Don't go in the other room!

Oh, man."

At the end of the day,

the “Harmless” Peeping Tom trope
is anything but harmless,

because it works to reinforce
that sense of entitlement

by telling us again and again that

“nice guys” deserve access to women’s bodies.

"Did you sneak a peek
at my goods?"

"I wouldn't be much of a hero if I did."

"Yeah, but it's okay if you peeked a little."

"You deserve a peek for
all the good stuff you do."

And that therefore
permission isn’t strictly necessary.

"Better view of my room that I thought."

"I've never seen you naked."

"It's too bad."

"I've got a great body."

"Turn around. Turn!"

"You're just a man,
like all the others."

In recent years we have seen a rise in
gender-flipped variations of the trope.

While these spying moments do invert
the expected subject/object dynamics,

simply switching-up the genders where
non-consensual behavior is concerned,

does not magically fix the problem.

Because it still reinforces that worldview

where respecting someone’s wishes in regards to
their own body isn’t important.

As the old saying goes,

two wrongs do not make a right.

Learning about consent as it relates to looking,
and not just touching, is essential,

"Oh, my god."

"What?"

especially given the reality of social media

and the growing problem of intimate images
shared without persimmon.

"I can have this?"

"Yes. It's for you."

"Because you're the only man
I ever want to gaze upon my body."

In today’s digital world,
the private photos or videos of women

can be a social currency among boys and men.

"A picture's worth a thousand words."

A currency that can grant a guy status
among his peers

"That's hot!"

by providing evidence of a woman’s submission
to his sexual desire.

"It's not looking good, Tom."

"I just sent it to one other guy, because

he didn't believe that I'd had sex with Ruby."

Again we see how the act of exposing women’s bodies,
without permission,

becomes a way for men to bond with each other

over their shared sense of male entertainment.

TV shows like Euphoria,
Sex Education, and Stargirl

have all attempted to address the issue
of unauthorized image sharing.

Unfortunately some TV writers
just can’t resist adding a big plot twist

wherein it turns out the culprit is a “mean girl”

rather than the far more common situation in real-life

where the culprit is a current or ex-romantic partner.

"Joseph Lyman showed us
the picture you gave him."

"What?"

"Oh, your nude self portrait.

He showed it to everyone."

"The whole town's seen it."

"The freaking mayor saw it."

The series Normal People

includes a scene of a guy showing off
a naked picture of his girlfriend.

Rather than being impressed,
the protagonist responds by saying it’s not okay.

"You do not think it's a bit f***ed up,

showing pictures of your girfriend like that?"

The moment is brief
but it is notable for two reasons:

first it’s a rare example of

a man calling out another guy
for non-consensual behavior,

and second because the producers chose
not to show that image to the audience.

Even in media about how it’s wrong to share private images

media makers will often ensure that the audience
gets a clear view of the photos or video in question.

The inclusion of these shots are unnecessary

and again make the viewers complicit
in non-consensual looking.

Just as peeping is never the fault of
the person who’s being spied on,

it’s also never the fault of the people whose
intimate images are distributed without their permission.

The blame should rest entirely

with those sharing or looking without consent.

"You never should've sent him those."

"He never should've shared them."

It’s still very rare to see male characters in media
who honor women’s privacy.

It’s even more rare to see men or boys intervening

to prevent their peers from non-consensual looking

but those are the types of representations
that we need.

"All right, closing."

If we are to build a culture of
affirmative and enthusiastic consent

it’s critical to understanding the ethics of looking.

I hope you enjoyed that video.

As you might imagine,
these long-form video essays

take an enormous amount of time
to write, edit, and produce.

So if you like this kind of media analysis

please consider going over to Patreon
and helping to support this project there.

I've also left a link to Paypal
in the description below.

There are no ads on any of this stuff

and there's no sponsorships either.

Everything is 100% funded
by viewers like you.

Now, we've also got some other
exciting news.

We have recently started a podcast

called Pop Culture
Detective: Audio Files

which is very similar
to the video essays

only with more voices
contributing to the analysis

in a slightly more casual format.

You can listen and subscribe
wherever you get your podcasts from

and I'll make to sure to leave some links
to that below as well, if you're interested.

Now of course, we have some other
video essays in the works.

So stay tuned for those.

And sincerely, thank you all so much
for continuing to support this channel.

It means the world to me, and none of it
would be possible without your support.