How I Met Your Mother - Desperation Day

[audience laughter] Loneliness. The looming specter

of Valentine's Day fast approaching.

The two key ingredients to my favorite day of the year,

February 13th: Desperation Day.

That's not a thing.

It's a thing. [audience laughter]

Much like Valentine's Day itself,

Desperation Day dates back thousands of years.

Weddings were forbidden under ancient Roman law,

so Saint Valentine performed them in secret

under threat of death.

That's actually true.

Wait! There's more.

This won't be. [audience laughter]

And right by Saint Valentine's side was his best bro,

Saint Desperatius, [audience laughter] there to pick off insecure bridesmaids.

Whoa! Check out that one.

Her body is a perfect X. [audience laughter]

Player, play on. High V. [audience laughter]

Oh Jupiter, what are your plans for me?

Fifteen and still unmarried! [audience laughter]

And I thought Pompeii was smokin'. [audience laughter]

Every woman wants a date on Valentine's Day!

That neediness reaches its climax- whaddup-

[audience laughter] on February 13th.

A magical night when a 10 has the self esteem of a 4

and the depraved enthusiasm of a 2.