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← Therapist Seeing A Therapist? | Kati Morton

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Showing Revision 1 created 07/09/2019 by Amara Bot.

  1. - Hey everybody, happy Thursday.
  2. Now, today's question is all about
  3. therapists seeing their own therapists.
  4. But before we jump into that,
    are you new to my channel?
  5. Welcome, I'm a licensed therapist
  6. creating educational mental health videos,
  7. and I release those videos
    on Mondays and on Thursdays.
  8. So make sure you're subscribed
  9. and have your notifications turned on,
  10. so that you don't miss out.
  11. Now, let's jump into
    today's question, and it is,
  12. "Kati, would you mind doing
    a video about how and why
  13. "a therapist may need to see
    their own therapist as well?
  14. "I think that it would be interesting.
  15. "'Cause I think most
    people think therapists
  16. "don't need to see someone
    else since they should be able
  17. "to fix their own issues."
  18. And I had, to be honest, I
    really had to spend some time
  19. thinking about this question.
  20. Because as you know, I've
    been in therapy off and on
  21. since I was like, 15 years old.
  22. And if I'm being honest,
    I just always thought
  23. everyone should be in therapy,
  24. but once I got this question
    I started asking around,
  25. and much to my surprise,
    people didn't think that
  26. their therapists should need
    to see another therapist.
  27. Many stating that if they were
    actually good at their jobs,
  28. they shouldn't need to
    see someone about it.
  29. Needless to say, I was completely shocked.
  30. But if I really think about it,
    I can understand why people,
  31. you know, could think like that.
  32. If I do know all about
    people and relationships
  33. and the power of our own thoughts,
  34. and ways that we can work to change them,
  35. then why can't I just,
    you know, fix any issue
  36. that comes up for me?
  37. Well, the truth is, that I am more aware
  38. of how I think and act,
  39. but that doesn't make me
    immune from being a human.
  40. Like, I can still be a complete jerk,
  41. I can take things personally,
  42. or let my mind take me down a dark path.
  43. And I also have my own upbringing,
    that for better or worse,
  44. does shape my automatic
    responses to things.
  45. And yes, I have worked
    on that stuff in therapy
  46. to better understand my own
    responses, where they come from,
  47. you know, why they happen and
    what I can do to be better.
  48. But as I am sure we all know,
  49. knowing and doing can be
    completely different things.
  50. And also consider that
    I work with my husband,
  51. you know, I work with my
    husband, Sean on the channel.
  52. And while we get along very well,
  53. and working together is
    actually wonderful in many ways.
  54. We do struggle to separate
    our life from work sometimes.
  55. So I talk about that a lot in therapy,
  56. and turn to my own therapist
  57. for her insight into this issue.
  58. Because I'm just so in it, you know.
  59. Sometimes it can help to
    get an outside perspective,
  60. because I'm almost
    blinded by the fact that,
  61. that's my day to day life.
  62. And there's also the self-care
    that needs to come along with
  63. just being a therapist,
    because we can take on
  64. so much of what other
    people are going through.
  65. I mean, just consider, like, for example,
  66. I'll give you one of my regular days
  67. where I go to my office.
  68. And this isn't to make you
    feel bad for me at all,
  69. I just really want you
    to understand what I mean
  70. when I say that therapist
    need therapy for self-care.
  71. So I get up, and I hop online,
  72. I try to answer some of your questions,
  73. I respond to many of you in
    the comments below a new video,
  74. on Twitter, on Tumblr sometimes
  75. and I post in the Community
    Tab, and Facebook Group,
  76. you know, the list goes on and on and on.
  77. Then I hop over to my office
    and listen to my patients
  78. and what they're going through,
  79. you know, trying to focus and be with them
  80. present in the moment,
    asking the right questions,
  81. offering tips and tools
    where they may be needed.
  82. And then I could go home,
    or even stay in my office
  83. and do more research or order workbooks,
  84. or look into different
    tools and techniques
  85. that I should find to
    better assist my patients.
  86. Then I go home, I go to bed
  87. and I wake up and I do it all over again.
  88. And that's a lot of me giving
    of my energy out to others.
  89. So, it is a necessity that
    I make time to re-energize
  90. and to give it back to myself, you know.
  91. Not to mention that if I don't
    give myself enough me time
  92. and self-care to recharge,
  93. I could bring all of my own
    bullshit into my sessions
  94. that could lead me to talking
    about myself all the time,
  95. when it's someone else's session,
  96. or even countertransference.
  97. Which if you're not aware
    of what that term means,
  98. it's really when a patient
  99. transfers another relationship on to me.
  100. But instead of noticing
    that and talking it through,
  101. figuring out where it came from,
  102. I react back to them from
    my own past experience.
  103. And then could like, and then
    I transfer on my own feelings
  104. and pass on to them in return.
  105. Countertransference is
    really bad stuff, okay.
  106. And so if I'm not in therapy,
    not taking care of myself,
  107. that could happen more.
  108. Not to mention that
    just an overall struggle
  109. to uphold safe and healthy boundaries
  110. with my patients can be hard.
  111. There's so much that goes
    into being a therapist.
  112. Correction, there's so
    much that goes into being
  113. a good therapist.
  114. So, I truly believe that every therapist
  115. or mental health professional
    should see their own therapist
  116. so that they have time to process it all.
  117. And I was just talking with
    my good friend Malik Ducard,
  118. he'll be in a video very
    soon, so stay tuned.
  119. Anyways, he was telling
    me that he is really good
  120. at compartmentalizing things,
  121. but he's not really sure if
    that's a good or bad thing.
  122. And it really made me think
  123. because I'm also very good
    at compartmentalizing,
  124. but sometimes compartmentalization
    can turn into repression.
  125. By telling myself, oh yeah,
    that bad thing happened,
  126. you know, but I don't,
    I don't really have time
  127. to deal with that right now.
  128. I can get so used to doing
    that, pushing things back,
  129. that I never actually take the time
  130. to look back at that issue
    and allow myself to feel it,
  131. and process it, you know.
  132. There even times when
    something really exciting
  133. will happen for me like
    getting to ride with my book,
  134. or go on a wonderful trip and
    get to meet so many of you.
  135. And I find myself struggling
    to really feel it,
  136. to let myself just soak it in.
  137. And to be honest, I hate that I do that.
  138. And I'm trying to work on it in therapy.
  139. And my hypothesis is really
    that it's because I'm so busy,
  140. that I get distracted by the
    next thing that I need to do,
  141. so I don't really make the time and space
  142. to just be in the moment.
  143. And Malik described this so beautifully.
  144. He said that when he's compartmentalizing,
  145. he feels like he's building these cities,
  146. like placing issues in houses or parks
  147. where he can leave them.
  148. And then I added when he
    was saying that I was like,
  149. well then, that means that
    therapy is kind of like making
  150. a point to take a trip
    to that certain city
  151. to see what issues have been left there.
  152. And anyways, compartmentalizing
    is imperative
  153. when you're a therapist,
  154. so that you don't bring your own stuff
  155. to therapy with your patients
  156. or another patient's stuff
    into another session,
  157. or worse, taking all
    of that home with you.
  158. However, we still need to take the time
  159. to drive back into those
    cities that we've created
  160. and clean it up, you know.
  161. Does that even make any sense?
  162. I just really like that,
    like visualization,
  163. it worked for me, so
    hopefully it works for you.
  164. Also, I really think it's
    important for a therapist
  165. to know what it's like to be
    on the other side, you know?
  166. Like, I know what it's like
    to call around to see someone,
  167. to be nervous about my
    first therapy appointment.
  168. To fill out all that annoying paperwork,
  169. try to figure out how
    I'm gonna pay for it.
  170. You know, flip the light switch on
  171. to let them know that I'm
    there and actually do the work.
  172. And I know therapy can be
    really hard, exhausting,
  173. and so incredibly life changing.
  174. And I know all of that because
    I've been there myself.
  175. And I think that that makes me a better,
  176. not worse therapist.
  177. And I guess my final thought is that,
  178. you know, a surgeon can't
    do surgery on themselves.
  179. A hairdresser cannot always
    successfully cut their own hair.
  180. And a therapist cannot do
    therapy on themselves either.
  181. Some tasks just require some outside help
  182. and perspective to get the job done.
  183. And I personally I'm so thankful
    for all of the therapists
  184. that I've had over the years,
    and how much they've pushed me
  185. to become a better version of myself
  186. because I really wouldn't be
    who I am today without them.
  187. But that's just my opinion.
  188. And honestly, I would
    love to to hear yours.
  189. Would you prefer that your therapist
  190. not see someone themselves?
  191. Do you even care?
  192. Maybe you don't, but
    you wouldn't want them
  193. to tell you about it.
  194. I'm just curious what your
    thoughts are about this.
  195. So let me know on those
    comments down below,
  196. and I will see you next time.
  197. Bye.
  198. (laughing)
  199. Okay.
  200. What month is up?
  201. Shit, (mumbles) they always notice.
  202. Okay, okay, I'm sorry (mumbles).
  203. Okay, ready?
  204. Sorry.
  205. (mumbles).
  206. Okay.