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If you're still struggling with consent,
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just imagine instead of initiating sex,
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you're making them a cup of tea.
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You say: "Hey, would you like a cup of tea?"
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and they go: "Oh my god, yes!
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I would fucking love a cup of tea!"
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Then you know they want a cup of tea.
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If you say: "Would you like a cup of tea?"
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And they're like: "I'm not really sure."
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Then you could make them a cup of tea,
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or not, but be aware:
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They might not drink it.
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And if they don't drink it, then -
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- and this is the important part -
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- don't make them drink it.
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Just because you made it doesn't mean
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you're entitled to watch them drink it.
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And if they say "no, thank you."
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then don't make them tea, at all.
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Just don't make them tea.
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Don't make them drink tea,
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don't get annoyed at them
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for not wanting tea,
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they just don't want tea, ok?
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They might say: "Yes please,
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That's kind of you"
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And then when the tea arrives,
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they actually don't want the tea at all.
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Sure that's kind of annyoing as you've
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gone all the effort of making the tea,
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but they remain under no obligation to drink the tea.
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They did want tea, now they don't.
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Some people change their mind in the time
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it takes to boil the kettle, brew the tea
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and add the milk.
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And it's ok for people to change their mind
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and you are still not entitled to watch
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them drink it.
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And if they're unconscious, don't make them tea.
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Unconscious people don't want tea and they
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can't answer the question "do you want tea?"
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because they're unconscious.
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Ok, maybe they were conscious when you
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asked them if they wanted tea and they
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said yes, but in the time it took you to
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boil the kettle, brew the tea and
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add the milk, they are now unconscious.
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You should just put the tea down,
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make sure the unconscious person is safe.
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And this is the important part again:
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Don't make them drink the tea!
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They said yes then, but unconscious people
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don't want tea.
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If someone said yes to tea, started
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drinking it and then passed out
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before they finished it, don't keep on
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pouring it down their throat.
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Take the tea away, make sure they're safe.
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Because unconscious people don't want tea, trust me.
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If someone said yes to tea around your
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house last saturday, that doesn't mean they want
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you to make them tea all the time.
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They don't want you to come around at their
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place unexpectedly and make them tea,
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force them to drink it, going:
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"But you wanted tea last week"
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Or to wake up to find you pouring
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tea down their throat, going:
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"But you wanted tea last night"
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If you can understand how completely
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ludicrous it is to force people to have
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tea when they don't want tea, and
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you're able to understand when people
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don't want tea, then how hard is it to
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understand when it comes to sex?
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Wether it's tea or sex,
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consent is everything.
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And on that note, I'm going to go
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make myself a cup of tea.