Return to Video

КОРОНАВИРУС АПОКАЛИПСИС СЕГОДНЯ УЖЕ ТУАЛЕТНАЯ БУМАГА СРОЧНО

  • 0:00 - 0:01
    CORONAVIRUS
  • 0:01 - 0:03
    APOCALYPSE
  • 0:03 - 0:04
    NOW
  • 0:04 - 0:05
    ALREADY
  • 0:05 - 0:06
    TOILET
  • 0:06 - 0:07
    PAPER
  • 0:07 - 0:08
    URGENT
  • 0:15 - 0:17
    Hey, how is it in isolation?
  • 0:19 - 0:20
    Sanitizer, yeah
  • 0:22 - 0:25
    So, I'm in Indonesia right now
  • 0:25 - 0:29
    I'm tired a little bit of all of this...
  • 0:29 - 0:30
    Don't even know what's worse
  • 0:30 - 0:36
    like coronavirus itself
    or panic around it
  • 0:36 - 0:39
    I'm a person with a good sense of humour...
  • 0:42 - 0:44
    Bismillah!
  • 0:46 - 0:47
    M-m-m
  • 0:49 - 0:50
    M-m-m
  • 0:51 - 0:54
    They say we need to work on immune system
  • 0:54 - 0:56
    This is starfruit, you know?
  • 1:00 - 1:03
    Well, here are my thoughts on all of this
  • 1:03 - 1:05
    you are free to share yours
  • 1:06 - 1:08
    You obviously have some thoughts
  • 1:11 - 1:14
    What irritates me the most,
    Chinese are always to blame.
  • 1:16 - 1:19
    Rising discrimination
    against Asian people.
  • 1:20 - 1:21
    Not nice, yeah
  • 1:21 - 1:22
    Next thing to talk about.
  • 1:23 - 1:25
    There were 20 Ukrainians coming from Wuhan.
  • 1:29 - 1:33
    20 Ukrainians,huh
    straight from the epicentre.
  • 1:34 - 1:36
    Fuck, guys, right from the epicentre!
  • 1:37 - 1:38
    All negative.
  • 1:40 - 1:43
    But only one fantastic tourist
    coming back from Italy
  • 1:46 - 1:48
    and first case for Ukraine
  • 1:48 - 1:49
    How come?
  • 1:53 - 1:55
    Immune system, folks!
  • 1:56 - 1:57
    Coronavirus treatment.
  • 1:58 - 1:59
    No jokes!
  • 2:08 - 2:13
    Watching CNN these days
    sometimes feels disgusting
  • 2:15 - 2:17
    Like, come on.
  • 2:20 - 2:23
    Well friends
    I also have this kind of bun.
  • 2:23 - 2:25
    It's Indonesian pastry
  • 2:27 - 2:28
    Manado cake
  • 2:30 - 2:31
    Spread around...
  • 2:32 - 2:34
    Just a sec.
    Where is Manado?
  • 2:35 - 2:36
    Sulawesi
  • 2:36 - 2:37
    Oh yes
  • 2:38 - 2:38
    So
  • 2:39 - 2:40
    Sulawesi
  • 2:40 - 2:41
    Sulawesi island
  • 2:42 - 2:43
    and there is Manado city?
  • 2:44 - 2:45
    This is the food of Manado
  • 2:45 - 2:47
    Called Panado
  • 2:47 - 2:48
    Panada.
  • 2:48 - 2:49
    Panada!
  • 2:50 - 2:54
    So, Sulawesi island bun
  • 2:56 - 2:59
    Crazy thing with fish filling.
  • 2:59 - 3:01
    Eating fish and zinc now
  • 3:01 - 3:04
    for all the good things,
    you know
  • 3:05 - 3:07
    Friends, I'm from, Odessa
  • 3:07 - 3:11
    and frankly speaking
    need to use humorous approach
  • 3:11 - 3:13
    it's my duty,
    it's a must for me
  • 3:13 - 3:15
    That's who I am, born this way
  • 3:16 - 3:18
    What's that bullshit: stay home?
  • 3:18 - 3:20
    I was shocked subway shut down
  • 3:21 - 3:23
    Thankful I'm not in Kyiv now
  • 3:25 - 3:26
    How is it?
  • 3:27 - 3:28
    What do we have?
  • 3:28 - 3:30
    Ukraine confirms 7 cases
  • 3:31 - 3:36
    but the panic is like,
    all Ukraine is done
  • 3:36 - 3:37
    First of all
  • 3:38 - 3:39
    Second is
  • 3:39 - 3:41
    Don't even think of CNN. Seriously
  • 3:43 - 3:46
    I've got nothing to watch here,
    so I go with CNN.
  • 3:46 - 3:47
    I'm forced to
  • 3:47 - 3:49
    You know? Forced participant
  • 3:50 - 3:52
    Haven't seen anything like that
  • 3:53 - 3:55
    Trump is constantly exaggerating
  • 3:55 - 3:58
    "We've lost 50 people",
    "We've lost 60 people".
  • 3:58 - 4:02
    Man, how many do you lose due to gun politics
    which is crazy in USA
  • 4:02 - 4:05
    Your teenagers are free
    to use shotguns
  • 4:05 - 4:06
    Hallo!
  • 4:07 - 4:09
    Since when is he
    so devoted democrat?
  • 4:10 - 4:12
    taking care of American population
  • 4:12 - 4:14
    Well. okay, no problems
  • 4:14 - 4:18
    Even USA doesn't close
    all aviation borders
  • 4:18 - 4:19
    Like whoever
  • 4:20 - 4:20
    Oh!
  • 4:21 - 4:22
    The thing is...
  • 4:23 - 4:25
    Lord, I'm so full again
  • 4:25 - 4:27
    but the bun, m-m-m, trust me
  • 4:28 - 4:31
    well, to make it clear,
    I have another bun
  • 4:31 - 4:32
    you know yeah...
  • 4:38 - 4:40
    Seriously,
  • 4:42 - 4:44
    I'm not ruling out virus exists, okay?
  • 4:46 - 4:48
    Moreover I think it does
  • 4:50 - 4:53
    Is this kind of response to virus suitable?
  • 4:53 - 4:54
    that is the question
  • 4:56 - 4:59
    Lockdown the whole world,
    stay quarantined.
  • 5:00 - 5:03
    Exactly in the times of,
    the fall of a stock market
  • 5:04 - 5:07
    I think except virus there are something
  • 5:08 - 5:11
    authorities only know
  • 5:14 - 5:16
    Panic is huge
  • 5:17 - 5:21
    Another think I love-
    speculation on country development
  • 5:24 - 5:30
    Kind of African continent,
    South-East Asia or elsewhere
  • 5:30 - 5:32
    have low degree of cases,
  • 5:32 - 5:34
    cause not being tested properly
  • 5:34 - 5:35
    No doubts, but
  • 5:36 - 5:40
    Wait a sec, then why Canada has
    only 600 cases,
  • 5:40 - 5:45
    and America, sorry USA -
    6.5 k?
  • 5:46 - 5:49
    10 times difference
  • 5:49 - 5:51
    neighbouring countries!
  • 5:53 - 5:55
    They are neighbouring countries
  • 6:04 - 6:09
    This coronavirus
    makes me unstable and eat more
  • 6:09 - 6:10
    What the hell?
  • 6:11 - 6:14
    Ukrainians are stuck in Dubai,
  • 6:14 - 6:16
    we are stuck here.
  • 6:17 - 6:18
    not that stuck
  • 6:18 - 6:21
    Our embassies are trying,
    their best.
  • 6:21 - 6:24
    trying to prolong...
  • 6:24 - 6:28
    permit,
    opportunity to prolong...
  • 6:28 - 6:32
    You know:
    "Just be back in 3 days".
  • 6:33 - 6:36
    Dude, you know how much
    money I need to give?
  • 6:36 - 6:38
    My ticket to Indonesia
    is 1 grand
  • 6:39 - 6:43
    Imagine me
    running home in 2 days to get into quarantine.
  • 6:44 - 6:50
    Mr. Zelenskiy, you are funny for sure,
    but what the hell?
  • 6:50 - 6:52
    All USA citizens
    are free to be back home,
  • 6:52 - 6:53
    no problems
  • 6:54 - 6:59
    I think Ukraine condition
    is not at that point
  • 6:59 - 7:00
    to take so strict precautions
  • 7:01 - 7:02
    It is needed no doubts
  • 7:02 - 7:06
    Quarantine is quarantine,
    stay home, jerk off home, no doubts.
  • 7:08 - 7:11
    but damn there must be some limit
    or how?
  • 7:11 - 7:14
    My favourite myth about coronavirus,
    the most favourite
  • 7:15 - 7:17
    summer is coming virus is dying
  • 7:17 - 7:21
    Guys, I'm dying here,
    it's 35 Celsius, hallo!
  • 7:21 - 7:24
    Indonesia gains everyday
    30 new cases.
  • 7:24 - 7:25
    Imagine that
  • 7:26 - 7:27
    Malaysia lockdown
  • 7:27 - 7:30
    Guys, 35 degrees.
    Do you realize what it is?
  • 7:30 - 7:33
    Isn't it summer?
    Is it fucking spring?
  • 7:38 - 7:40
    I'm dying here day by day
  • 7:40 - 7:42
    Heat kills me
  • 7:42 - 7:45
    Summer time?
    Summer starts Virus ends?
  • 7:45 - 7:47
    Don't count on that
  • 7:49 - 7:50
    If it exists, of course
  • 7:51 - 7:53
    If coronavirus exists, of course
  • 7:55 - 7:57
    Ohhh boy!
  • 7:59 - 8:02
    I'm done.
    Just done here
  • 8:02 - 8:07
    Hey, here are some statistics
    needed for a starter
  • 8:08 - 8:11
    There is a good website,
    Worldometer,
  • 8:12 - 8:14
    Worldometers info coronavirus
  • 8:14 - 8:21
    So here we go
    Coronavirus cases are 202'259
  • 8:22 - 8:27
    Death cases count,
    8 k and some.
  • 8:28 - 8:29
    8 thousand
  • 8:29 - 8:31
    Fuck, losing my breath.
    About to die now
  • 8:32 - 8:34
    Will count as coronavirus,
    cause using mask!
  • 8:34 - 8:36
    That's it, understand?
  • 8:36 - 8:37
    Panic, anxiety
  • 8:39 - 8:40
    I'm bitten by mosquitos
  • 8:41 - 8:42
    all over..
  • 8:42 - 8:43
    you see, nature
    real shit
  • 8:44 - 8:46
    beauty surrounds me tho
    no words to describe
  • 8:46 - 8:50
    Death rate of Seasonal flu
    according to Health line site
  • 8:51 - 8:52
    and also according to WHO
  • 8:52 - 8:58
    ranges between 250 thousand people to 600 thousand.
  • 8:58 - 9:03
    If we divide the average
    400 thousand within 12 months
  • 9:03 - 9:06
    we have 33 thousand people per month
  • 9:07 - 9:09
    dies every month of seasonal flu
  • 9:11 - 9:13
    Not bad, yeah?
  • 9:13 - 9:16
    Not bad at all
  • 9:16 - 9:19
    But why is this forgotten?
  • 9:19 - 9:23
    why death of a seasonal flu doesn’t lead,
    to lockdowns
  • 9:24 - 9:29
    Nobody speculates on,
    face masks or sanitizers?
  • 9:29 - 9:30
    or other bullshit
  • 9:30 - 9:31
    for sure
  • 9:31 - 9:33
    What is about Easter?
    Easter coming
  • 9:34 - 9:37
    Easter vigil: are we in?
  • 9:37 - 9:39
    How is it?
  • 9:42 - 9:43
    It's time to think about it
  • 9:43 - 9:44
    Ramadan is coming
  • 9:44 - 9:46
    Are we about to do smth?
  • 9:46 - 9:49
    Stay at home and wait for instructions.
  • 9:49 - 9:52
    Need to think what to do.
    Whats popping?
  • 9:52 - 9:54
    Subway is closed, flights suspended.
  • 9:55 - 9:58
    Staying home.
    Masks are out of stock, sanitizers also.
  • 9:58 - 10:01
    Hope everyone did buy toilet paper?
  • 10:01 - 10:03
    Guys, that's important!
  • 10:03 - 10:07
    The most important thing to fight virus
    is toilet paper!
  • 10:09 - 10:11
    How? Suits me well?
  • 10:12 - 10:14
    I call it Corona Fashion Week.
  • 10:17 - 10:19
    My last message:
  • 10:19 - 10:23
    Wash hands, really keep distancing
    especially next to those who cough
  • 10:24 - 10:26
    Follow all the precautions.
  • 10:27 - 10:31
    Eat healthy:
    ginger, curcuma, all these things
  • 10:31 - 10:33
    But don't lose your mind, please
  • 10:33 - 10:34
    Don't do that!
  • 10:35 - 10:40
    Ohh getting used to it,
    living on the edge half robot half human
  • 10:40 - 10:44
    I go to bed with sanitizer,
    I wake up also with it
  • 10:48 - 10:49
    The end!
  • 10:50 - 10:51
    Bye!
Title:
КОРОНАВИРУС АПОКАЛИПСИС СЕГОДНЯ УЖЕ ТУАЛЕТНАЯ БУМАГА СРОЧНО
Video Language:
Russian
Duration:
10:52

English subtitles

Revisions