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What an intriguing
group of individuals you are ...
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to a psychologist.
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(Laughter)
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I've had the opportunity
over the last couple of days
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of listening in on some
of your conversations,
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and watching you interact with each other.
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And I think it's fair to say,
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already,
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that there are 47 people in this audience,
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at this moment,
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displaying psychological symptoms
I would like to discuss today.
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(Laughter)
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And I thought you might like
to know who you are.
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(Laughter)
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But instead of pointing at you --
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which would be gratuitous and intrusive --
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I thought I would tell you
a few facts and stories
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in which you may
catch a glimpse of yourself.
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I'm in the field of research
known as personality psychology,
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which is part of a larger
personality science
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which spans the full spectrum
from neurons to narratives.
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And what we try to do,
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in our own way,
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is to make sense of how each of us --
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each of you --
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is in certain respects
like all other people,
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like some other people,
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and like no other person.
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Now already you may be saying of yourself,
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"I'm not intriguing ...
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I am the 46th most boring person
in the Western hemisphere."
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Or you may say of yourself,
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"I am intriguing ...
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even if I am regarded by most people
as a great, thundering twit."
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(Laughter)
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But it is your self-diagnosed boringness
and your inherent "twitiness"
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that makes me as a psychologist
really fascinated by you.
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So let me explain why this is so.
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One of the most influential
approaches in personality science
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is known as trait psychology,
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and it aligns you along five dimensions
which are normally distributed
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and that describe universally held aspects
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of difference between people.
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They spell out the acronym OCEAN.
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So, O stands for open to experience
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versus those who are more closed.
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C stands for conscientiousness
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in contrast to those with a more
lackadaisical approach to life.
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E, extroversion in contrast
to more introverted people.
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A, agreeable individuals in contrast
to those decidedly not agreeable.
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And N --
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neurotic individuals in contrast
to those who are more stable.
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All of these dimensions have
implications for our well-being,
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for how our life goes.
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And so we know that for example,
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openness and conscientiousness
are very good predictors of life success,
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but the open people achieve that success
through being audacious,
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and occasionally odd.
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The conscientious people
achieve it through sticking to deadlines,
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to persevering as well as
having some passion.
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Extroversion and agreeableness are both
conducive to working well with people.
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Extroverts for example,
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I find intriguing with my classes,
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I sometimes give them a basic fact
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that might be revealing
with respect to their personality.
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I tell them that it is
virtually impossible
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for adults to lick the outside
of their own elbow.
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Did you know that?
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Already, some of you have tried to lick
the outside of your own elbow,
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but extroverts amongst you
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are probably those who've not only tried,
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but they have successfully licked
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the elbow of the person
sitting next to them.
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(Laughter)
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Those are the extroverts.
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Let me deal in a bit more detail
with extroversion,
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because it's consequential
and it's intriguing,
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and it helps us understand
what I call our three natures.
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First, our biogenic nature,
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our neurophysiology.
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Second, our sociogenic or second nature,
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which has to do with the cultural
and social aspects of our lives.
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And third,
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what makes you individually you --
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idiosyncratic --
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what I call your "idiogenic" nature.
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Let me explain.
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One of the things that characterizes
extroverts is they need stimulation.
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And that stimulation can be achieved
by finding things that are exciting:
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loud noises,
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parties
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and social events here at TED.
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You see the extroverts
forming a magnetic core,
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and they all gather together,
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and I've seen you.
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The introverts are more likely
to spend time in the quiet spaces,
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up on the second floor,
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where they are able
to reduce stimulation --
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and may be misconstrued
as being antisocial,
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but you're not necessarily antisocial.
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It may be that you simply realize
that you do better
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when you have a chance
to lower that level of stimulation.
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Sometimes it's an internal stimulant,
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from your body --
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caffeine for example works much better
with extroverts than it does introverts.
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When extroverts come into the office
at nine o'clock in the morning
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and say, "I really need a cup of coffee,"
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they're not kidding,
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they really do.
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Introverts do not do as well,
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particularly if the tasks
they're engaged in --
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and they've had some coffee --
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if those tasks are speeded,
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and if they're quantitative,
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introverts may give the appearance
of not being particularly quantitative.
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But it's a misconstrual.
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So here are the consequences
that are really quite intriguing.
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We're not always what seem to be,
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and that takes me to my next point.
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I should say,
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before getting to this,
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something about sexual intercourse.
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Although I may not have time.
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And so if you would like me to --
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yes, you would?
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OK.
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(Laughter)
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There are studies done
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on the frequency with which
individuals engage in the conjugal act.
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It's broken down by male, female;
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introvert, extrovert.
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So I ask you,
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how many times per minute ...
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Oh, I'm sorry, that was a rat study --
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(Laughter)
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How many times per month ...
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do introverted men engage in the act?
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3.0.
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Extroverted men?
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More or less?
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Yes, more.
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5.5 --
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almost twice as much.
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Introverted women: 3.1.
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Extroverted women --
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frankly speaking as an introverted male,
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which I will explain later --
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they are heroic.
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7.5.
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They not only handle
all the male extroverts,
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they pick up a few introverts as well.
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(Laughter)
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(Applause)
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We communicate differently,
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extroverts and introverts.
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Extroverts when they interact,
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want to have lots of social encounter
punctuated by closeness.
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They'd like to stand close
for comfortable communication.
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They like to have a lot of eye contact,
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your mutual gaze.
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We found in some research
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that they use more diminutive
terms when they meet somebody.
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So when an extrovert meets a Charles,
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it rapidly becomes Charlie and then Chuck,
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and then Chuckles Baby.
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(Laughter)
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Whereas for introverts,
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it remains Charles until he's given
a pass to be more intimate
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by the person he's talking to.
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We speak differently.
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Extroverts prefer black and white,
concrete, simple language.
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Introverts prefer --
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and I must again tell you
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that I am as extreme an introvert
as you could possibly imagine.
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We speak differently,
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we prefer contextually complex,
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contingent,
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weasel word sentences.
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(Laughter)
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More or less.
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(Laughter)
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As it were --
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(Laughter)
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Not to put too fine a point upon it ...
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like that.
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When we talk,
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we sometimes talk past each other.
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I had a consulting contract
I shared with a colleague
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who's as different from me as two
people can possibly be.
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First, his name is Tom.
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Mine isn't.
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(Laughter)
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Secondly, he's six foot five,
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I have a tendency not to be.
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(Laughter)
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And thirdly,
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he's as extroverted
a person as you could find;
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I am seriously introverted.
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I overload so much
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I can't even have a cup of coffee
after three in the afternoon
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and expect to sleep in the evening.
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We had [seconded] to this project
a fellow called Michael.
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And Michael almost brought
the project to a crashing halt.
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So the person who [seconded] him
asked Tom and me,
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"What do you make of Michael?"
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Well, I'll tell you
what Tom said in a minute.
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He spoke in classic "extrovert-ese."
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And here is how extroverted ears
heard what I said,
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which is actually pretty accurate.
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I said, "Well Michael does have
a tendency at times
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of behaving in a way
that some of us might see
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as perhaps more assertive
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than is normally called for."
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(Laughter)
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Tom rolled his eyes and he said,
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"Brian, that's what I said ...
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he's an asshole!"
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(Laughter)
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(Applause)
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Now as an introvert,
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I might gently allude to certain
"assholic" qualities
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in this man's behavior,
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but I'm not going to lunge for the a-word.
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(Laughter)
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But the extrovert says,
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"if he walks like one,
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if he talks like one,
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I call him one."
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And we go past each other.
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Now is this something
that we should be heedful of?
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Of course.
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It's important that we know this.
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Is that all we are?
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Are we just a bunch of traits?
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No we're not.
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Remember you're like some other people ...
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and like no other person.
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How about that idiosyncratic you?
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As Elizabeth or as George,
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you may share you extroversion
or your neuroticism.
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But are there some distinctively
Elizabethan features of your behavior,
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or Georgian of yours,
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that make us understand you
better than just a bunch of traits ...
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that make us love you?
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Not just because you're
a certain type of person.
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I'm uncomfortable putting
people in pigeon holes.
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I don't even think pigeons
belong in pigeon holes.
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So what is it that makes us different?
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It's the doings that we have in our life.
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The personal projects.
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You have a personal project right now,
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but nobody may know it here.
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It relates to your kid --
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you've been back three
times to the hospital
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and they still don't know what's wrong.
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Or it could be your mom.
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And you'd been acting out of character.
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These are free traits.
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You're very agreeable,
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but you act disagreeably in order
to break down those barriers
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of administrative torpor in the hospital,
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to get something for your mom ...
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or your child.
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What are these free traits?
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They're where were enact a script
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in order to advance a core
project in our lives.
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And they are what matters.
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Don't ask people what type you are,
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ask them:
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what are your core projects in your life?
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And we enact those free traits.
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I'm an introvert,
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but I have a core project,
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which is to profess.
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I'm a professor.
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And I adore my students,
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and I adore my field.
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And I can't wait to tell them
about what's new,
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what's exciting,
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what I can't wait to tell them about.
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And so I act in an extroverted way,
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because at eight in the morning,
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the students need a little bit of humor,
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a little bit of engagement
to keep them going
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in arduous days of study.
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But we need to be very careful
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when we act protractedly out of character.
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Sometimes we may find
that we don't take care of ourselves.
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I find,
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for example after a period
of pseudo-extroverted behavior,
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I need to repair somewhere on my own.
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As Susan Cain said in her Quiet book,
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in a chapter that featured
the strange Canadian professor
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who was teaching
at the time at Harvard ...
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I sometimes go to the men's room
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to escape the slings and arrows
of outrageous extroverts.
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(Laughter)
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I remember one particular day
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when I was retired to a cubicle,
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trying to avoid overstimulation.
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And a real extrovert came in beside me --
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not right in my cubicle,
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but in the next cubicle over --
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and I could hear various
"evacuatory" noises,
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which we hate --
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even our own,
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that's why we flush during
as well as after.
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(Laughter)
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And then I heard
this gravelly voice saying,
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"Hey is that Dr. Little?"
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(Laughter)
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If anything is guaranteed
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to constipate an introvert for six months,
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it's talking on the john.
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(Laughter)
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That's where I'm going now.
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Don't follow me.
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Thank you.
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(Applause)