-
Scott, it's Ross. Your father is dead. I am deeply sorry for your loss.
-
Crap!
-
James!
-
Master Scott, would now be a good time to talk, sir?
-
I guess
-
Erica here from the company would like to talk to you about your father's wishes.
-
Let me guess: he wants me to run his pig-dog of a company, and she's here to talk me into it?
-
Actually, no. Your father was well aware of your dislike for his company and, believe it or not, had no succession plan for you.
-
His considerable shares in the company will be yours -- provided that certain criteria are met of course.
-
What kind of criteria?
-
Well, for one. Your father requires that you go to Newtown College.
-
In Boston?!
-
No way! I have no interest in rich kids and their petulant bullshit.
-
If I may sir...
-
Zoo-Lu is planning to make a very large donation to the college
-
and I think your time there would be much better than you plan or expect it to be.
-
So you're telling me I have to go to college and
-
I have to be the one kid who's father bought a building in order to force my hand?
-
You don't have to go.
-
Zoo-Lu would employ you with a senior level management position,
-
and you can continue to stay here in Seattle and work.
-
Work for Zoo-Lu?
-
Never.
-
What you guys do is barbaric.
-
Jesus! Zoo-Lu really is a bunch of assholes huh?!
-
If you don't go to college,
-
and you don't work for Zoo-Lu,
-
you'll be forced to sell your father's shares,
-
you'll have to move out of this house,
-
give up everything you've been accustomed to
-
your electronics equipment, your video games, your computers...
-
even James would return to Zoo-Lu.
-
You can't take James! He's part of the family.
-
Mr. Peterson -- you have until the end of the week to decide.
-
I'll just see myself out.
-
Yeah. Right. Yeah. "Decide."
-
frustrated groan with foghorn noise playing over it
-
Well, Les...
-
It appears I have no choice
-
Pack my shit! I'm going to Boston!
-
Right away sir.
-
Oh!
-
Right and Les, one more thing.
-
James is coming with me!
-
Absolutely
-
You know, I'm still not sure that taking an orangutan to college is allowed.
-
Maybe not, but I'd like to see you keep your job.
-
It's also the only way that we can keep the lawyers off my back
-
and is also the best way that you and I can maintain the lifestyle that we've become so accustomed to.
-
I understand.
-
You should come see us when we're settled in Boston.
-
Maybe, but I am not so sure I'm a big fan of that faux-intellectualism there.
-
Oh no, don't worry. that's a Cambridge thing.
-
Cambridge, not Boston.
-
Two cities divided by a river, and their mutual distaste for each other.
-
Oh?
-
Yes, Cambridge is indeed shit. We will not be going there.
-
I hate it.
-
Well that makes sense.
-
It sounds like a hellhole.
-
Yeah
-
I apologize for conflating Cambridge with Boston.
-
No worries Les.
-
Just tell everyone you know that Cambridge is filled with a bunch of jerks who went to MIT
-
in like, the late 70s and now they walk around like they invented the fucking jet engine.
-
That's oddly specific.
-
I understand.
-
Ugh!
-
I really don't want to go to college.
-
But I have to show I attended so...
-
What do I do, James?
-
If I don't go to college you go back to Zoo-Lu.
-
If only I could send you to do my classes while, you know, I pursued my passion.
-
Like electronics.
-
That could work.
-
Right?
-
Let me make a call.
-
...I mean, the whole idea is preposterous!
-
It's ludicrous. It's totally ridiculous.
-
You knew my father, Dean Gaffney. You're aware of just how much money he threw into this place.
-
I don't think it should be a problem.
-
But...
-
What would he study?
-
So, what are your plans for the next four years?
-
Uh...
-
I don't really know
-
I guess I should get a job.
-
I've never really done anything with my life... so I don't really know what I'd want to do.
-
Ok
-
Thanks
-
laughs
-
Well Scott, I can't make any guarantees .
-
I don’t even know if this place will be here in a month.
-
How come?
-
It seems like a decent place--just needs some customers.
-
There's some law offices upstairs
-
Macmillan & Associates
-
They want to shut down the bar and make this all into office space.
-
Why not just tell them no?
-
It doesn't matter.
-
If I can't come up with the rent, my landlord is gonna throw me out anyway.
-
How much do you owe?
-
$60,000
-
Wouldn't happen to know any rich kids with that kind of money would you?
-
nervous laughter
-
Hey, Professor!
-
You're serving animals in here now?
-
That's low.
-
Even for you.
-
Trash
-
Uh...
-
Hey man...
-
that animal happens to be a clever ape.
-
Oh really?
-
If he's so clever then why doesn't he ask the professor here to enroll him in law school.
-
After all. Law school is for the real elite.
-
The chosen few.
-
So if this ape graduates with a law degree, I'll buy your stupid bar back.
-
Challenge excepted
-
Well, James.
-
You better make it an early night.
-
Classes start at 8:30 am.
-
This is a nightmare.
-
James!
-
You're supposed to be studying.
-
The professor's counting on you!
-
So am I.
-
Hit the books!
-
Or you can kiss that mini-golfing trip goodbye.
-
We are live at Newtown College in Boston, Massachusetts
-
at the site of the animal rights protest over the controversial decision
-
to build a new research wing paid for by the Seattle animal-export company, Zoo-Lu.
-
Zoo-Lu, founded by Jefferson Peterson in 1964...
-
founded in um...
-
in uh...1960...ballsack!
-
Founded in 1964 by Jeffereson Peterson has bases all along the Ivory Coast,
-
where they capture animals and ship them in crates to Seattle, where they are often sold into captivity.
-
Word on the street is that Peterson's heir apparent, Scott Peterson, is attending Newtown,
-
although an anonymous source from the college indicates that he has been seen partying in the Back Bay until 3am.
-
Just what Zoo-Lu is really doing here in Boston remains to be seen.
-
Is the new Peterson hoping to set up an East Coast office?
-
This is June: O'Connor, for Channel 5 News.
-
Founded in 1964 by Jeffereson Peterson has bases all along the Ivory Coast,
-
has bases all along the Ivory Coast
-
And in another shocking revelation in this whole Zoo-Lu situation
-
it appears that Scott Peterson has sent his pet Orangutan to the protest, as a mockery.
-
Scott Peterson, if you're watching this...
-
please call Channel 5 immediately and explain yourself!
-
This is June O'Connor
-
(Scott through the phone) Hi. June?
-
Yeah this is Scott Peterson.
-
I have to put an end to this right now. This is getting out of hand.
-
Scott.
-
Let's do this face to face -- I'll bring a camera down and we can get this on the public record.
-
Alright. I'll meet you at JJ Foley’s
-
I'll see you at 9am..
-
and Scott:...
-
don't miss it.
-
Ok, uh...
-
I want to set the record straight here.
-
I am not my father. I know what he did, and I want you to know that I am not like that.
-
Further, I think Zoo-Lu are crooks, and I only moved here because they blackmailed me, threatened my family butler, and implied they'd put our family pet in captivity.
-
I don't really even want to attend Newtown -- Zoo-Lu is forcing my hand on that as well.
-
In fact, I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be!
-
Well, you know, I don't want to be like my father either.
-
He works for Macmillan and Associates, and they're hellbent on taking over your bar, and converting it into a steakhouse for greedy executives.
-
That's disgusting.
-
I'm a vegan, and I' want to turn this bar into a force for good!
-
Dad, I need to let you know that Scott Peterson has an orangutan working at his bar.
-
Ugh, I can't stand the jerk. For a man who claims to be about animal rights, he's all about animal wrongs.
-
Isn't there anything that we can do? Legally, or less-so. I don't even think he's attending Newtown.
-
You think he's sending the monkey instead?
-
I would not put it past that creep.
-
He's just trying to appease his father's last wishes.
-
Probably just going to use the money and the power to do some other disgusting things.
-
Don't worry, sweetie. I'll take care of this.
-
They don't call me the Exterminator for nothing.
-
Dad, they don't call you that.
-
They don't call me Jim Savage for nothing.
-
Dad, please do not say that.
-
Okay.
-
Okay.
-
Hi Mac Jr.?
-
Yeah.
-
The rat king is going out on the town.
-
We discussed this.
-
You're the rat king.
-
You're the rat king...
-
Yeah.
-
You're the rat king!
-
I know there were a lot of Jello shots,
-
but I still expect you to remember sinister plans.
-
Right.
-
Thank you!
-
Now, deploy the hawk!
-
meow
-
thud
-
...we need to keep up the pressure on Newtown to adopt a completely vegan campus. We can't have this happen...
-
Can I say something?
-
I actually gotta say something.
-
Sorry
-
Uh
-
Okay, so...
-
I know my words may seem shallow,
-
I know you have no reason to believe me.
-
Crowd: "Eat shit Lord Snooty!"
-
I am not my father,
-
I am not responsible for the crimes of Zoo-Lu, but I take them on my shoulders nonetheless because to me, like the innocent slaughtered, Zoo-Lu is already dead.
-
Crowd: "Eat shit owl fucker!"
-
My interests include electronics, animal rights and the spirit world.
-
Which is why I am publicly encouraging all of you to dump your stocks,
-
whoever has stocks in this fucking company,
-
and help me drive this goddamn company into the ground.
-
In case you don't know where I'll be working, I will be working at JJ Foley’s as bar scientist,
-
where we are only serving vegan food,
-
and we'll be helping anyone in the struggle against Newtown.
-
Vegan do it!
-
Foley’s
-
Ah Master Scott, so good to hear your voice, sir.
-
Les!
-
Um, yeah! How are you? How did you know to call here?
-
Well I’m splendid, sir, thank you. I've been speaking to Dean Gaffney.
-
You spoke to the dean?
-
Indeed. She says you're doing quite well. I was so pleased I thought I'd come pay you a visit.
-
Lunch Master Scott? My treat?
-
Yes! That would be...that would be awesome.
-
Uh when are you coming?
-
Tomorrow
-
Tomorrrow!
-
Awesome. So just let me juggle my schedule around okay?
-
Now Master Scott, it was intended for you to spend your time in classes at Newtown and focus on your studies.
-
I hope my visit isn't a primer for a long term vacation.
-
Hey Les, you heard it straight from the dean herself.
-
Right? There are no worries here. No worries at all!
-
Quite.
-
I'll see you tomorrow then, sir?
-
Bright and early, say 1:00?
-
Peterson Cafe in the family wing?
-
Great. Cheers.
-
Mr. O'Connor
-
Scott!
-
There you are
-
Here to grill me for more questions?
-
I can only pledge my case so many times.
-
No, I wanted to tell you that I saw an admirable man speak today.
-
And I'm watching him follow through on his convictions. I'm just really scared of becoming my father,
-
so when I see someone with a silver spoon taking their own path, well, it's kinda hard to believe. Until you see it.
-
Well this jackass following through on his convictions might have just cocked things up for the people around him.
-
What are you talking about?
-
My butler, Les, is coming to Boston tomorrow.
-
He's gonna find out the truth. I'm gonna be cut off financially,
-
Les is going to be out of a job... And James
-
They're going to take James. He's going to be the property of Zoo-Lu.
-
If Les is coming to Boston I don't think he's going to fire himself. You know I think you're getting worked up over nothing.
-
No, he's not like that. The guy is proper and everything I wished my father would be.
-
He'd get himself fired because there's less shame in that.
-
I've just like...UGH!
-
I've messed things up trying to be some rogue vegan maverick hotshot.
-
If he is like a father, it's clear you two are close and you can work something out.
-
Plus I think a rogue vegan maverick hotshot is kinda sexy.
-
That's fucking disgusting. You're a fucking cunt.
-
You're gross.
-
Fuck you
-
It's natural. It's a human thing.
-
That's not fucking natural.
-
It's a condition. You're making fun of my condition I'm sorry.
-
I wanna die.
-
You know birds do this to their babies all the time.
-
The babies don't complain.
-
They lap that shit up.
-
Are you my mama bird?
-
I'll be your papa bird.
-
Really?
-
Yeah
-
Really?
-
Yeah
-
Wow
-
laughs
-
screechy noise
-
What was that?
-
Oh it's just my pager.
-
What time is it?
-
7:15 Why?
-
I need James.
-
Hey Mr. Romance. Do you have a fax machine I could use? It's my dad.
-
Yeah it's in the pantry. Fresh toner.
-
Listen, If you're free later, maybe we can have full penetrative sex instead of just fist clenching and eating cream.
-
I'd love it.
-
Hey buddy.
-
Are you feeling sick today?
-
in a hinting tone No no. Are you feeling sick today?
-
Hey Scott...
-
Hi James.
-
I've gotta run. It's my dad. He wants me to meet him at the office for some reason.
-
See you later for that full penetrative sex?
-
Definitely
-
Dad, you wanted to see me?
-
Hi, Sweetie. I just wanted to let you know that I took care of that brat Scott Peterson.
-
I'm not going to sit idly by while he screws my little girl.
-
Wait, what did you do?
-
I made it a family matter. That Zoo-Lu butler is coming in from Seattle
-
and he's going to take the ape away and send Scott Peterson back home penniless
-
with his cocky little tail between his legs.
-
No dad listen I was wrong about Scott, we need to fix this.
-
What now he's "Scott:?"
-
Look at me, you harlot!
-
Hey Mac Jr. Round up the usual goon squad.
-
We've got a chance at some assets here.
-
With Zoo-Lu lower than ever and with Peterson out of the way, that fucking lap dog of a butler is next in line.
-
What do I propose?
-
I propose you dismember the fucker! Make it look like the ape did it.
-
No. There's no rat king. No not this time. Not this time!
-
Bye, Mac Jr.!
-
Les!
-
Ah!
-
Sorry I'm late, I ran over here right after class!
-
Master Scott, so good to see you!
-
Yeah
-
Forgive me if I'm mistaken but,
-
don't classes adjourn at 2:15?
-
They do.
-
Rowing!
-
I'm on the Newtown rowing team.
-
That's why I'm so moist.
-
Ah! Iove that sea brine.
-
What are you uh...
-
What are you doing?
-
I'm collecting power
-
So you said you were in class?
-
Yeah I'm on the new rowing team. They get out earlier than the academic classes so...
-
well we get to shower time.
-
And I skipped that by wearing this.
-
Feel it.
-
Wool!
-
Quite right.
-
Master Scott.
-
We both know you weren't in rowing class.
-
For that matter, we both know that you have not been attending Newtown at all!
-
I can't believe that after all these years...
-
you don't have a little more respect for me than that.
-
Alright. You're right.
-
But you know how much I care for James.
-
Neither of us had a choice in this.
-
I didn't even want to do this!
-
You're absolutley right.
-
You didn't have a choice!
-
But we had a duty to follow your father's wishes!
-
And after 30 years with the family,
-
I'm not going to abandon that now
-
You know what?
-
Les if you have to prove something to a family,
-
Please prove it to the future and not the past.
-
Master Scott, I need to be honest with you.
-
I've made a deal...
-
Scott!
-
What the hell is this?!
-
I have no idea what you're talking about.
-
Les!
-
Seriously Les?!
-
Jesus Christ!
-
Les.
-
Listen.
-
Scott.
-
No more "listens", no more excuses, no more "buts".
-
James is coming with me.
-
Yeah, Trelawney.
-
Yeah I'm around the corner from you.
-
I'm at the bar on Kingston street. A dump of a place,
-
Ha!
-
No no. Not Cheers.
-
JJ Foley's
-
Come on, James.
-
Come on, James!
-
Come on, James.
-
Let's get out of here.
-
Scott, I'm sorry.
-
Some loyalty, Les.
-
I thought you owed me better than that.
-
You don't deserve that ace up your sleeve, Scott.
-
Goodbye.
-
Put those in there please.
-
Get yourself situated, Master James.
-
I know you don't like this now, but it's for your own good.
-
Thank you very much.
-
James I'm gonna order some food for us.
-
Yes I would like some room service please. I would like a root beer
-
Oh that's very dissapointing.
-
Then I will have an orange crush instead.
-
And, also I'd like two banana splits,
-
a banana daiquiri,
-
a banana supreme,
-
a gridle of hot dogs
-
Um
-
a bunch of...
-
Keep the change you filthy animal.
-
James let's get out of here.
-
No offence
-
mysterious whispers
-
sniffs
-
Oh hey, Peterson
-
I'm going to have to ask you to leave MY bar.
-
Your see the Professor signed the papers over to me in her brain-addled stupor.
-
So if you wouldn't mind vacating the premises...
-
Hey Mac Jr.
-
I'm going to have to decline your offer.
-
Les!
-
mysterious whispers
-
Hey June.
-
Oh!
-
La-di-da!
-
The bar is still mine.
-
And so is your woman!
-
Yeah
-
right
-
uh...
-
Hey June! Let's ditch this creep huh?
-
June?
-
maniacal laughter
-
mysterious whispers
-
Evil screech
-
Master Scott!
-
Pained screams
-
Noooooo
-
more screaming
-
he goes silent
-
Ready for that full penetrative sex?
-
Oh you bet!
-
Alright, Mac Jr.,
-
no more goons.
-
No more kids to do a proper man's job.
-
Burning the midnight oil?
-
I like that, O'Connor.
-
Goodnight, Bruce.
-
Goodnight.
-
Why are the lights flickering?
-
We're on the backup generator.
-
We had quite the power surge.
-
You think it was a blown fuse?
-
It might be a short circuit too.
-
Well...
-
it's kind of a nice mood-setter.
-
Very sultry.
-
Kind of.
-
So Les,
-
what made you come back?
-
I didn't think I was going to see you again.
-
Well, master Scott,
-
I've always considered myself an honorable man.
-
I was disgusted that I even thought of turning tail and going to Macmillan.
-
It was also terrible to follow a corrupt dying man's wishes,
-
rather than an idealistic man's dreams.
-
Well that,
-
and O'Connor tried to off me by that demon Mac Jr. at the hotel.
-
Wait what?
-
Yeah that troglodyte
-
with furry brows.
-
I'm glad he's done with.
-
Yeah you can thank my pep-pep for that.
-
He and uh...
-
Mac Jr.
-
had like a...
-
weird creepy bromance
-
code thing
-
My apologies.
-
Eh
-
No love lost.
-
Well
-
That enough of the drink for me I think.
-
I'm gonna have an orange crush.
-
An orang-crush!
-
laughter
-
But seriously two men?
-
Wow. I mean, I guess I killed a demon, so that's like five guys or something.
-
Come on Scott, with a guitar; hardly a proper mauling the way I did to Mac Jr....
-
No but I also released an amber hex
-
Okay!
-
Ok "Hurricane" Spencer, this isn't an arm-wrestling competition.
-
Les, I'm very impressed.
-
Thank you.
-
And you, my hero, were very romantic.
-
To the brightest of futures!
-
To the darkest of pasts.
-
Master Scott,
-
I am so glad you found a respectable woman like June
-
rather than torturing yourself alone all the time.
-
Wanking off to JPEGs of cats.
-
Uh it wasn't uh..
-
JPEGs
-
so...
-
wow...
-
My apologies, I meant JPEG 2000
-
Well listen, next off we need to find James a respectable female of the appropriate species?
-
laughter
-
I know this is an emotional time for you.
-
Do you feel ready?
-
It's fine. I'm fine.
-
Let's do this.
-
Perforia Ozark
-
applause
-
Dan Parker
-
applause
-
and, it is my distinct honor
-
to christen the legacy of Newtown
-
with the our first interspecial graduate.
-
Graduating with magna cum laude,
-
and sometimes a bit too loudly.
-
James Peterson!
-
Loud applause, whoops, and cheers
-
June, get away from that filth!
-
Peterson, grab your fucking monkey!
-
Dad you need to stop!
-
Grab your monkey, Peterson! I'm taking you both down now!
-
Professor! You alright?
-
You made it!
-
Scott, my boy!
-
I wouldn't miss this for anything
-
I'm so sorry.
-
It's not a big deal. We didn't get along anyway.
-
Are you sure you're not mad?
-
No of course not!
-
Hey let's go get some Italian ice!
-
Okay?
-
Yeah!
-
Alright.
-
I think the Professor's got some catching up to do.
-
It feels like the end of the world.
-
Sometimes I feel like it might be.
-
You know, 'cause I just think about it
-
and it seems so crazy,
-
so flashed with brilliance
-
I'm just worried that things are never going to be same again.
-
What scares you?
-
Yeah
-
Well...
-
My dad made his billions out of being the world's biggest asshole.
-
I just don't really want to end up like him.
-
You don't have to.
-
You can change things, you've already changed so much.
-
I've been thinking I just,
-
need to get out of Boston for a while.
-
Get some perspective, you know?
-
Oh yeah?
-
You think you wanna come?
-
Well where're you thinking of going?
-
Well, I need to go Seattle first and get some stuff taken care of,
-
but then who knows. We can keep traveling until the money runs out.
-
What about Zoo-Lu?
-
Giving it away.
-
Tired of this monkey business.
-
Oh my god no...
-
You're not giving it to James!
-
I actually looked into it, there's nothing preventing me from doing it.
-
Some loophole in the system I can just bypass it and give it to him!
-
Look that sounds really cool, and like it's really amazing
-
but I'm kinda worried you're rushing into things.
-
What about six months from now?
-
A year from now?
-
What are you gonna do?
-
Well
-
I've actually been working on this side project.
-
And James aggreed to fund it so...
-
Yeah, what is it?
-
Uh...
-
Ok so
-
zoos,
-
they're only problematic because
-
they keep the animals captive.
-
What if I came up with an idea
-
that allowed animals to live in their natural habitat,
-
but be ever present
-
for all the children of the world?
-
Like a live feed?
-
No here.
-
Let me show you.
-
So with this I can create a virtual 3D image, of any animal.
-
Any animal!
-
Even like, the dead ones.
-
So
-
with this I can show all the children in the world
-
and all the people who are interested,
-
any animal.
-
Alright?
-
And the live, actual living animals
-
can be in their habitat
-
and not be confined.
-
But with this
-
we can see any animal, a 3-D image and then we don't need it anymore, it goes away,
-
and you know the dead animals can stay around a lot longer than humans.
-
So how does it work?
-
Show me.
-
Ok so
-
OH!
-
Um, Mr. Peterson?
-
The dignitaries from the ivory coast have just arrived, sir.
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♪ ♫ Funny ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ You think I'm funny ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ That's funny ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ Clever, talented, sweet ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ You think I'm those too ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ It's cool ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ Attractive enough to sleep with every once in a while ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ But you don't find me beautiful do you? ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ You're smart ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ I think you're smart ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ So what? ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ Organized, artsy, fun ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ I think you're those also ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ Well so ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ Attractive enough to want you to call me yours ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ But you halted that♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ So it goes ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ I sat by your heating lamp reading Steinbeck after we made love ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ You call me strange ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ We fit each other like two dryer shrunken gloves ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ I'm a romantic you only think you are ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ But shallowness is your hubris ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ Let's stop all this pretending and address this ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ Friends ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ Just friends ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ To what end? ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ Do you love me, ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ For anything I am? ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ It's not a commitment ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ Just being a good friend ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ We're different, I accept it♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ Not compatible ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ But you made my heart glow so so bright♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ We're still friends♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ Am I right?♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ I sat naked in your cold apartment after we made love there ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ I found my way to a story like I knew and crouched between the pages ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ The smell of love stitched itself up and clothed me where I hid ♫ ♪
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♪ ♫ Don't you dare look at my character and undress it ♫ ♪