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How to Tell if You’re Being Manipulated [CC English & Español] | Kati Morton

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To manipulate is to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage. I also like to consider what it means when we use the term manipulation when it comes to objects, not people. Now let’s get into how we can tell if we are being manipulated.
1. You question yourself a lot. So if you find yourself having to defend your own memory of things or questioning yourself more than usual, you could be being manipulated.
2. You feel guilty or bad all the time. No matter what you do it never seems to please them.
3. They somehow get you to do things you wouldn’t normally do. People who manipulate others will often start by asking you to do a small favor for them, and work up to asking you for bigger and bigger things.
4. They put you down as often as they can. It could be how you dress, or what restaurant you picked anything they can criticize they will.
5. Emotional blackmail. Emotional blackmail is when someone states that they will kill themselves if you leave or would die if you broke up with them or left them. They use this threat as a way to control you and get you to do what they want.
Let’s get into what you can do: 1. Get into therapy. If someone has been putting us down, making us feel responsible for their well being, or getting us to do things we really didn’t want to, it’s going to take some healing. And we need to do that healing in a safe place where no one else will hear about it, and there isn’t any judgement. 2. Boundaries. There are things that we will be okay with and other things we won’t be comfortable or okay with. Learning how to recognize what’s okay and not can take time. 3. Giving yourself time to make decisions. Manipulative people will often try to get us to sign contracts, purchase things now or make plans that can’t be changed at that very moment.
First and foremost, it’s a feeling that we can get. Have you ever just felt like something was off with someone, or the way they interacted with you? Maybe you feel pressured by them to do things you don’t want to, or you find yourself questioning your memory or perception more than usual? Those are all red flags that could indicate you are being manipulated.
1. Which rolls into our first warning sign. That you question yourself a lot.
2. You feel guilty or bad all the time. No matter what you do it never seems to please them. They are always upset, disappointed, or blaming you for something.
3. They somehow get you to do things you wouldn’t normally do.
4. They put you down as often as they can.
5. Emotional blackmail. Emotional blackmail is when someone states that they will kill themselves if you leave or would die if you broke up with them or left them.
Now let’s get into what you can do: First if you are ever feeling manipulated or hurt by someone you are in a relationship with, know that you don’t have to continue that relationship, and if it’s not safe you don’t even have to tell them why. Just know that you deserve to have relationships that are filled with joy, love and mutual respect not manipulation.
1. Get into therapy. If someone has been putting us down, making us feel responsible for their well being, or getting us to do things we really didn’t want to, it’s going to take some healing. 2. Boundaries. There are things that we will be okay with and other things we won’t be comfortable or okay with. Learning how to recognize what’s okay and not can take time, so start being more mindful of how you feel, when you feel uncomfortable or pushed to do something you don’t want, and know it’s okay to say no. 3. Giving yourself time to make decisions. Manipulative people will often try to get us to sign contracts, purchase things now or make plans that can’t be changed at that very moment. Gaslighting Video: https://youtu.be/3O3ZQPezglQTry​ ​BetterHelp:​ http://tryonlinetherapy.com/katimorton
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