You have one life. Live it | Sherry McConkey | TEDxUniversityofNevada
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0:18 - 0:19Hi.
-
0:20 - 0:23My role was that he called me
after every jump. -
0:24 - 0:27I'd spoken to him the day before,
-
0:27 - 0:29and he was so excited
about the way his trip was going. -
0:30 - 0:34The next day when the phone rang,
it was J.T. calling. -
0:35 - 0:36He said two words:
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0:37 - 0:39"Shane's dead."
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0:40 - 0:45I went silent, I screamed,
I hung up the phone. -
0:46 - 0:48I had no idea what to do,
-
0:48 - 0:52my brain was screaming,
I couldn't breathe, -
0:52 - 0:55and my daughter was staring at me,
scared and confused. -
0:56 - 1:00I left South Africa when I was 21
to go travel the world -
1:00 - 1:03and find my Persian birth father.
-
1:04 - 1:08I never met him,
and it's really pissed me off. -
1:08 - 1:09(Laughter)
-
1:09 - 1:10But now that I look back,
-
1:10 - 1:16it's thanks to him that I met
the love of my life and my soulmate. -
1:17 - 1:18Shane McConkey
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1:18 - 1:21was named one of the most
influential skiers in the world. -
1:21 - 1:25He completely disrupted the ski industry
by changing everything -
1:25 - 1:28from the shape of skis
to the way we ski in powder. -
1:29 - 1:33Shane won extreme ski competitions;
he was a ski movie star. -
1:33 - 1:34And he did insane skiing feats
-
1:34 - 1:38like combining skiing
with BASE jumping and wingsuiting. -
1:39 - 1:41People loved Shane.
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1:41 - 1:43They loved him because he was real.
-
1:44 - 1:48He made them laugh with his wacky
sense of humor and practical jokes, -
1:48 - 1:52and he invited them into his world
and made them feel special. -
1:52 - 1:58He loved oddballs and outcasts,
and he shattered the idea of cool cliques. -
1:58 - 2:01When he had an idea, he made it happen.
-
2:01 - 2:03Like going to K2 and asking them
-
2:03 - 2:06to spend millions of dollars
and change their skis. -
2:06 - 2:08They looked at him sideways,
-
2:08 - 2:12but through dedication and determination
he blew the roof off the ski industry -
2:12 - 2:16both as an athlete and an innovator.
-
2:16 - 2:19He was kind and he had empathy.
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2:19 - 2:23When "Make a Wish" approached him
to grant a kid's wish -
2:23 - 2:26he was honored and went above and beyond
-
2:26 - 2:29to make this kid
have the time of his life. -
2:30 - 2:31He loved animals and our world
-
2:31 - 2:34and was not afraid to preach
in what he believed in. -
2:35 - 2:38He was a horrible cook
and a terrible cleaner - -
2:38 - 2:40(Laughter)
-
2:40 - 2:44but when he did do this,
it was awesome and entertaining. -
2:47 - 2:49We married in 2004,
-
2:49 - 2:52and in 2005 he gave me the best gift ever:
-
2:52 - 2:54our daughter Ayla.
-
2:54 - 2:57We went through the world
with a wow and delight -
2:57 - 3:00and his infectious personality
poured into Ayla. -
3:00 - 3:04He was smitten
and he was an amazing father. -
3:04 - 3:08On March 26, 2009,
-
3:08 - 3:10in the Dolomite Alps of Italy,
-
3:10 - 3:14Shane and one of his
best friends, J.T. Holmes, -
3:14 - 3:16performing a wingsuit ski BASE jump -
-
3:16 - 3:21this is where you ski off a huge cliff,
release your skis -
3:21 - 3:25and fly away and then eventually land.
-
3:26 - 3:31Shane skied off this cliff,
did two huge backflips, -
3:31 - 3:35reached down to pull off his skis,
but only one came off. -
3:35 - 3:39You have to get both skis off
in order to pull your chute; -
3:39 - 3:42otherwise, they could get tangled
in your parachute lines. -
3:42 - 3:46By the time Shane got his skis off,
-
3:46 - 3:48turned around to pull his chute,
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3:48 - 3:50it was too late.
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3:50 - 3:52My life changed forever.
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3:53 - 3:56There's no way
to explain that kind of pain, -
3:56 - 3:57it's a constant circle of emotions:
-
3:57 - 4:02fear, guilt, loss, anger,
-
4:02 - 4:04and those words don't do justice.
-
4:05 - 4:08It's like somebody's squeezing your throat
and stepping on your chest; -
4:08 - 4:10you can't breathe.
-
4:11 - 4:16In the last few years in Tahoe,
our community's seen a lot of death. -
4:16 - 4:19Not all of it has been BASE
or parachute related, -
4:19 - 4:20but a lot of it has.
-
4:22 - 4:27Soon after I was asked to do this talk,
one of those deaths hit close to home. -
4:27 - 4:30This particular death was
a result of a sky diving accident -
4:30 - 4:33of yet another amazing friend.
-
4:33 - 4:37I'm not an angry person,
but for the first time in my life -
4:38 - 4:43I was overcome with anger,
real raw gut-wringing anger. -
4:43 - 4:46I felt the pain of a grieving wife
-
4:46 - 4:48and the kids that
wouldn't know their father. -
4:48 - 4:52And I saw herself in me, and it killed me.
-
4:52 - 4:56I was re-living Shane's passing,
and I was emotionally exhausted -
4:56 - 4:58by so many of our friends
dying way too young. -
4:59 - 5:01All I wanted to do is run.
-
5:02 - 5:06I wanted to leave Tahoe,
I wanted to go find a normal life, -
5:06 - 5:09I wanted to escape
the trauma and the pain. -
5:11 - 5:14I've always coped with pain
by riding my bike. -
5:14 - 5:18In fact, I actually call my bike
"my boyfriend," and his name's Bronson. -
5:18 - 5:21(Laughter)
-
5:21 - 5:22Riding opens my mind;
-
5:22 - 5:26it makes me a better mother,
and it lets me cry without being judged. -
5:27 - 5:31So, on that particular day
I cried, I screamed, -
5:31 - 5:32and then I had an epiphany.
-
5:32 - 5:37I thought to myself, "What am I thinking?
I have no right being angry. -
5:37 - 5:40I get to live on this beautiful world,
-
5:40 - 5:43I have an incredible community
of people that I love, -
5:43 - 5:46and I have a daughter
who's expecting me to be strong." -
5:47 - 5:51I also reminded myself
that I chose this lifestyle. -
5:51 - 5:55After all, I married a guy
who does unusual things for a living, -
5:55 - 5:59not a guy who works at Microsoft -
no offence, Microsoft guys. -
5:59 - 6:01(Laughter)
-
6:01 - 6:03And this life is my normal.
-
6:03 - 6:07Through my epiphany, I also came
to realize how much I learned from Shane -
6:07 - 6:10and made the decision to try my hardest
-
6:10 - 6:14at things that I love
and that I have passion for. -
6:14 - 6:18There were times when I was so frustrated;
it was so hard for me. -
6:19 - 6:22Growing up, I always thought
of myself as the dumb kid. -
6:22 - 6:26My siblings had an easy time
at school, and I struggled. -
6:26 - 6:28I never went to college,
-
6:28 - 6:31and I've carried out
this insecurity throughout life. -
6:31 - 6:35School didn't agree with Shane either,
but he didn't care. -
6:35 - 6:40He knew what he wanted to do,
and he was going to do it no matter what. -
6:40 - 6:44Shane taught me, if I had
the courage to be authentic, -
6:44 - 6:47hold myself into things that I love,
-
6:47 - 6:49anything is possible.
-
6:51 - 6:54After Shane's death, I came to realize
-
6:54 - 6:58that the people who admired Shane
were grieving for him too. -
6:58 - 7:01So I got together with a group
of wonderful friends, -
7:01 - 7:04and we started the
Shane McConkey Foundation. -
7:04 - 7:09Over the last six years,
we've donated over 250.000 dollars -
7:09 - 7:11to causes that both
Shane and I care about. -
7:12 - 7:14We also started the
Shane McConkey Eco-Challenge, -
7:14 - 7:17a competition for kids,
for schools nationwide, -
7:17 - 7:21to learn about and implement
environmental change. -
7:21 - 7:23The response has been amazing.
-
7:23 - 7:27And it's been an incredible process
of healing, self-discovery, -
7:27 - 7:31and figuring out that my passion
is to make a difference in the world. -
7:32 - 7:36I was also part of making
a documentary about my husband. -
7:36 - 7:40Although this movie has been
one of the hardest things I've ever done, -
7:41 - 7:46this movie has won awards,
it's made people laugh and cry, -
7:46 - 7:50and it's inspired thousands of people
all over the world; -
7:50 - 7:53and I've received
hundreds of amazing e-mails -
7:53 - 7:58about how Shane has influenced
somebody's life in a positive way. -
7:58 - 8:01And I cannot explain
how amazing that feels. -
8:02 - 8:06It is through Shane that I learned
the most about myself. -
8:06 - 8:11And it's through his death
that I learned how to endure heartache, -
8:11 - 8:15overcome obstacles,
and become a bigger version of me. -
8:17 - 8:19I persevere through his death,
-
8:19 - 8:22and although I can't
and never will be able to explain -
8:22 - 8:25loosing the love of my life,
-
8:25 - 8:27I can say
-
8:27 - 8:31that through incredible tragedy,
I discovered a new me -
8:32 - 8:34and my story is far from over.
-
8:35 - 8:38Being happy is not dependent
on my circumstance. -
8:39 - 8:42Pursuing passion and living life,
-
8:42 - 8:44really living life,
-
8:44 - 8:48is the greatest choice
I can make every day. -
8:48 - 8:49Thank you.
-
8:49 - 8:52(Applause)
- Title:
- You have one life. Live it | Sherry McConkey | TEDxUniversityofNevada
- Description:
-
After the tragic death of her husband Shane in 2009, Sherry McConkey had to change in order to continue to thrive. Shane McConkey, regarded as the most influential skier in the world, believed that if you have the courage to be authentic, anything is possible. In this very authentic talk, Sherry discusses how the legacy of Shane empowers her daily to discover a new and better version of herself.
An avid world traveler, Sherry McConkey was born in Ireland, raised in South Africa, and began her global journey in 1989. After traveling through Europe and Canada, she landed in Lake Tahoe, CA, which she still calls home.
A passion for the outdoors connected Sherry to legendary free ski pioneer Shane McConkey. The two were married in Thailand in 2004 and their greatest creation, Ayla, came along in 2005. Shane passed away in 2009.
Through both her life with Shane, and his death, Sherry has come to believe that with desire, passion, and a goal, anything is possible. Despite the grief after losing him, Sherry knew she wanted to carry on Shane’s legacy. She turned moments of sadness into inspiration and used the power of positivity to build The Shane McConkey Foundation, and Executive Produce the movie, McConkey.This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Duration:
- 08:55
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