Why Agree To Disagree Doesn't Work

Many people within society believe that #agreeing to #disagree is a mature, conscious and amicable thing to do. But the reality is quite the opposite.

To the article: https://tealswan.com/resources/articles/dont-agree-to-disagree-r420/

How to overcome the fear of conflict: 6:38
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSzjnJ8_1W8

How to Resolve a Conflict: 6:42
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sPIZbDrAPc

The Zero Sum Game in Relationships: 9:06
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2NxMr9Kf7w&t=12s

Bulldozing the way to ruin the relationship with yourself: 13:18
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKO5t6d0kMk&t=156s

Objective Truth (Do we create our own reality?) 15:36
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoLe4Dudg7g&t=25s

Disidentification; The Practice of non Attachment: 16:27
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRfkTg8-I7I

Full Article here ⟶ https://tealswan.vip/WhatResonates

How to overcome the fear of conflict: 6:38
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSzjnJ8_1W8

How to Resolve a Conflict: 6:42
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sPIZbDrAPc

The Zero Sum Game in Relationships: 9:06
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2NxMr9Kf7w&t=12s

Bulldozing the way to ruin the relationship with yourself: 13:18
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKO5t6d0kMk&t=156s

Objective Truth (Do we create our own reality?) 15:36
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoLe4Dudg7g&t=25s

Disidentification; The Practice of non Attachment: 16:27
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRfkTg8-I7I

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Teal Swan is a personal transformation revolutionary. She was born with a range of extrasensory abilities and is a survivor of severe childhood abuse. Today she uses her gifts as well as her own harrowing life experience to inspire millions of people towards authenticity, freedom and joy and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.

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Don't Agree to Disagree!

Agree to disagree
is a common english phrase,

though some variation of the concept
that it is designed to convey

exists in nearly
every culture on the planet.

It essentially means that no resolution

to a disagreement, debate
or quarrel will occur,

and so continuing it is unnecessary,
ineffective and pointless.

Therefore, it must come to an end,

by each party tolerating,
but not accepting

the other's opposing opinion.

Essentially, the only way to find alignment

is to agree upon dropping the debate

and simply consent to disagreeing.

Having different opinions on a subject.

Many people within society

believe that agreeing to disagree

is a mature, amicable
and conscious thing to do.

But the truth couldn't be further from it.

The first problem with agree to disagree

is that it thwarts both personal
and universal expansion.

Let's take an objective look at this

from the universe's perspective, shall we?

This universe is hoping

that bringing people together
with opposing opinions

will cause an expansion

relative to thought itself.

In other words,

this universe would hope

that people would continue
to expand and reinvent

their own thoughts,

their own opinions and their own beliefs.

If two people are committed to truth,

but they come to the table
holding two different perspectives,

what takes place in that moment

is an opportunity.

It's an opportunity for expansion

through arriving at a higher truth.

Either one person sees
the other person's perspective

and realizes that that is
actually closer to the truth,

and based off of that

they change their perspective

in ways that often benefit them

and also the people around them.

Or, because of their mutual commitment

to finding the truth,

their perspectives become more
accommodative of each other

and they arrive at a higher truth,

than either of them held to begin with.

A philosopher is the person within society

that understands this the very most.

And perhaps second to that

a scientist must also
understand this concept

in order to do good work.

To agree to disagree is to
consciously declare a stalemate.

It is to agree to stuckness
and lack of resolve

both of which directly
defy progress and growth

and movement and expansion.

It is just as stuck to say:
"agree to disagree",

as it is to act as if
you agree with somebody

or say that you do,
when in fact you don't actually.

Saying agree to disagree
is not just a limitation for you,

It's an invitation for the universe

to turn the heat up
on that particular issue

or point of stuckness.

Did you notice this universe
has no patience for stuckness?

It escalates things.

Because it wants alignment,
it wants expansion.

This means that if you
declare or commit to a stalemate,

it's very short term.

The universe is going to
turn the heat up on you.

There will come a point

where in the short term

this agreed to disagree might work,

but in the long term,
there will be a crisis situation.

A situation that arises

that brings that point of contention
to the surface again

in such an extreme way,

that there's no possible way
to declare that stalemate.

Basically, it's going to cause a situation

to come to head where
the situation at hand

does not allow for the toleration
of each other's opposed perspectives.

The second problem
with agreed to disagree

is just how impossible
it actually is in many scenarios.

It's impossible once
there's a conflict of interests.

It is not possible when it comes
to topics that result in conflict,

which really matter.

Now some differences
do not cause conflict,

these are little things.

Others do cause conflict.

These are big things.

They occur when two people's
thoughts opinions beliefs or perspectives

are incompatible.

On top of this, like we said before...

While agree to disagree may be
something you can do in the short term,

it's definitely not something you're
going to be able to do in the long term,

because the universe is going to
turn the heat up on it.

It will bring you to a scenario
where you can't agree to disagree.

For example:

Let's say that somebody said:

"You know what?
I think the best thing to do

would be to plow a road
through your property."

And your opinion was:

"There is no way that
that's the best thing to do.

That's the worst thing to do".

If you say agree to disagree,

you're going to wake up in the morning

to a road plowed straight
through your property.

Opinions lead to choices

and they lead to actions.

People who believe that
agree to disagree is possible,

seem to somehow think

that perspectives and beliefs and thoughts

don't lead to subsequent
choices and actions.

Or that if they do...

those choices and actions
are somehow not going to

negatively impact them.

That's just not the case.

The reality is that if opinions
or perspectives are opposed,

then choices and actions
will also be opposed.

And yes, that often affects other people.

This is why agree to disagree

really depends upon
the variable of safety.

For example:

Let's say that one set of parents

believes 100% in vaccines

and the other set of parents

believes that they're the worst thing
that could ever happen to someone.

These two sets of parents
can only agree to disagree,

until there is a mandate or a law

that is up for passing

to make them required,

without exceptions.

The reason is that

if the parents who believe that
all children must be vaccinated

believe that unvaccinated
children are a health risk,

they may vote to take away
body sovereignty as a human right.

There's no longer a way

for either set of parents to avoid
or maintain the amicability

of this agreed upon stalemate

because they have now found
themselves in a zero-sum game

with their safety on the line.

Another example...

When it comes to the universe
bringing things to a head is:

In some families

it's pretty easy to say agree to disagree

relative to religion.

But what happens when somebody
in that family passes away,

and suddenly it's a giant family fight

about what kind of a funeral service
is going to be held.

Agree to disagree is conflict avoidance.

Plain and simple.

And avoidance does not
make a conflict go away,

it simply delays it.

The third problem with agree to disagree

is that contrary to popular belief,

it is extremely damaging to relationships.

Agree to disagree is often
how we try to avoid conflict

or prevent the loss
of closeness with someone.

It's our way to remain on amicable terms

while continuing to disagree
about unresolved issues.

To understand more about this,
watch my videos titled:

How to Overcome The Fear of Conflict

&... How to Resolve A Conflict

People can in fact
only say agree to disagree

when they believe that doing so,

will not negatively affect them.

This means that in order
to say agree to disagree,

you have to perceive
yourself to be separate

and living in a world where somehow

people's choices don't
affect you or impact you.

Essentially you have to
perceive yourself to be separate

and separate in a way
that someone's opinion

will not lead to choices or actions

That go against your best interests,
affect you or harm you in any way.

The motto is:

"As long as it doesn't
affect me and mine."

It's a "you do you and I do me"
philosophy of existence,

which is distancing by nature.

But all of this is hidden
under the guise of tolerance.

It is in fact a rigid narcissistic
and separate way of being.

All of which are
a huge detriment to relationships.

It also must be said

that people who say "agree to disagree"

believe they are 100% right.

So, it's not tolerance.

What it is actually
is somebody who's saying:

"You know...

I'm, just gonna basically
back up on this one

and i'm gonna just be passive about it

and sit here and wait for you to wise up

and get your head out of your asshole,

because I know i'm right,

and pretty soon
you're gonna figure that out".

"Oh and until then,

i'm just gonna put this whole thing
under the floorboards."

Which in case you didn't notice,

is active suppression.

When people use this phrase:

"agree to disagree"

they are waiting for the
"I told you so" moment.

Agreeing to disagree
is about thinking you are right.

And so never ever fall into the lie

that agreeing to disagree

makes the acceptance of differences

or the acceptance of diversity
of perspectives possible.

Another reason that agree
to disagree damages relationships

is that it is a state of resistance

to finding alignment.

Or potentially a resistance
to alignment in general.

Think of what is happening

as a person energetically deciding
to forgo the experience of alignment

and think about what damage
that could do to a relationship.

This is also a very out of reality
type of perspective to hold

about a consensus reality.

Contrary to what you may believe,

this time space reality that you live in

it's a consensus reality.

That means you're not
the only one creating this reality

no matter what you've been told.

Because of this,

it opens the door wide
for zero-sum games in relationships.

To understand more about this,
watch my video titled:

The Zero Sum Game in Relationships

(What is a Zero Sum Game and How to End One)

on top of this, seeing as how
no actual resolution has come,

the unresolved conflict or opposition

exists as an elephant in the room.

It is an active state of dissonance

which adds considerably
to the emotional tension

and pressure in a relationship.

It is also a giving up on alignment.

People who say agree to disagree,

do so because they feel
powerless to finding alignment

or to get there to be any pliability

in their perspective or the
other person's perspective or both.

Agree to disagree is therefore
often a forfeit in a relationship,

relative to finding
alignment or higher truth.

The fourth problem with agreed to disagree,

is that it allows people
with a very poor sense of self,

to find their sense of self

through opposition.

It is more than possible for people
to have a healthy sense of self

and to find alignment with
other people at the same time.

But people who believe
in agree to disagree

don't understand this.

And agree to disagree becomes
their really out of alignment way

to try to accomplish

"I can have me and have you too".

Some people are so identified

with their thoughts, with their beliefs,

with their perceptions...

That they perceive
any change in those things

to be a loss of self.

Also, whenever they achieve alignment

not only do they feel like
they have lost themselves,

but that they've been consumed
by the other person in some way.

With people like this,

who love to argue for agree to disagree,

you may hear things like:

"I'm entitled to my opinion".

By the way, this is a logical fallacy.

Let me explain why;

Whether someone has the right
or is entitled to an opinion,

has nothing to do with whether
their opinion is right or wrong

or is reflective of truth.

Therefore it's a way
of discrediting opposition

and creating a diversion
from the disagreement at hand.

It is to subconsciously fight for freedom.

The freedom or right not to be right,

not to be reasonable
and to stick to their perspective

no matter what contradictory
thoughts or evidence they are met with.

When that has nothing to do

with the actual validity of one's stance.

All this being said,

people use agree to disagree
as a way of maintaining their identity

and feeling the awesome self-esteem kick

of being directly opposed
to someone else's ideas.

This is especially the case

for people who have experienced
enmeshment trauma in childhood.

They never feel more
of a sense of core or freedom,

than when they're directly
opposed to something.

This is quite literally

a version of:

"If i'm not fighting something, I die".

There are people who struggle with this.

Who feel as if reaching
some form of agreement or alignment,

is a giving up of themselves
or their personal truth in some way

and this couldn't be
any further from the truth.

If you meet with evidence

or other thoughts that cause you
to change the way you're thinking

you didn't lose a part of yourself

and you didn't even lose your own thought,

you amended your thought.

It's still yours.

It's a new one.

Agreed to disagree is also
a way that people can maintain,

we're talking about self-concept,

an idea of themselves
as enlightened or woke,

when this is not actually the case.

There are a great many things in the world

which people are convinced

make them good,

which in fact make them the opposite.

Things like meditating to escape reality,

or using positive focus
as a tool of resistance,

or being politically correct to stay safe
and performatively woke.

Agree to disagree is one of these things.

People love to think
it makes them conscious,

amicable,

woke.

In fact, it makes them the opposite.

Instead of agreed to disagree,

we need to commit to finding alignment.

To be completely authentic
and honest with you in this episode

given the situations at hand

and the situations that are
on the horizon for the human race,

it is no longer a luxury
for us to say agree to disagree.

In fact, if we keep standing
on this laurel of agree to disagree,

what we're actually consenting to
without knowing it, is bulldozing.

To understand more about this,
watch my video titled:

Bulldozing

What I mean by this is that

I don't know if you've noticed,

but the universe is turning up
the heat on the human race.

So if we stay in agree to disagree,

that doesn't mean that
the people we disagree with

aren't going to take actions.

And those actions will be

directly opposed to our best interests.

No matter which side we're on.

You also need to consider
that it isn't exactly a virtue

to only care about bulldozing

when we're the one on
the underside of that bulldozer.

We need to be honest with ourselves

if our goal is something
other than alignment and truth.

So I want you to ask yourself:

What is more important for you,

than alignment with others and why?

What is more important for you
than truth and why?

I want you to notice

if you feel immediately
like you must conform

when this topic is raised.

You need to address
the fear of loss of self,

loss of freedom and loss
of personal truth inherent in this.

Know that conformity
is not true alignment.

And for those of you that
might be panicking at this point,

I need you to know that conformity
is not the same thing as alignment.

Far from it, in fact.

So conformity...

The letting go of your personal truth,

is not

what is being asked of you.

That is simply your trauma from childhood.

The only way to maintain
close relationships with people

and to be safe,

is to let go of myself completely.

Again, not what is being asked.

We must seek to understand

instead of to agree.

That's the first step.

We must seek more,

more,

more,

to see more,

to feel more, to hear more,

to understand and comprehend more.

To take in more of all of the different
perspectives involved in any subject

we are examining.

We have to accept
and own up to the reality

that our own personal experiences

have made us bias.

It has limited our perspective
in many ways.

Making it so that that perspective
is not accommodative

of all subjective perspectives

and therefore is not potentially
reflective of objective truth.

Therefore, try to practice

seeking objective truth.

To understand more about this,
watch my video titled:

Objective Truth

I want you to imagine
that you have this core essence

that core essence is a bit like a

metal pole,

in this analogy.

And all of the things
which make up your personality,

these things you are identified with,

the things you say "I, me and mine" to

are like sticking magnets to that pole.

The more identified
you are with those things,

the more you will struggle
with trying to find alignment.

You will struggle
with objective perspective.

To reach objective perspective,

you need to develop
the capacity to disidentify.

That is to be able to take that magnet off

and look at it as separate
from that which you are.

But also, a part of that which you are.

The better you are at disidentifying

from your thoughts
and beliefs and perspectives

the easier it will be
to question and change them.

To understand more about this,
watch my video titled:

Disidentification
(The Practice of Non-Attachment)

I'm going to end
this episode with a question;

Agree to disagree is really an assertion

that certain conflicts are unresolvable.

So I need to ask you:

Are certain conflicts completely unresolvable?

If so, should we accept

that certain conflicts
are impossible to resolve?

What are the benefits of doing so?

What are the detriments of doing so?

Have a good week.

If you liked this video,

be sure to share it, like it
and also subscribe to my channel

so you can see more content like this.

But I want to personally thank you
for taking the initiative

and having the bravery
to step into the space of awareness

not only for yourself,

but for the benefit of those around you.

Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte