24/26 HOW TO GROW UP - They Need Family Not Meetings

The Call of Jesus

Welcome to this lesson 24:
How To Grow Up.

Last time we talked about the different
spiritual levels we see in the Bible.

We talked about being babies,
newborn,

how to grow up and become
children in the faith,

and then become parents in the faith.

We need to go out and find
a person of peace, as Jesus is talking about,

something we've looked at
in this series "The Call of Jesus".

But when we find that person of peace

we need to know
how to share the gospel with them,

so they can be truly born again.

But, we also need to help them
to grow up.

We need to help them to become
mature in Christ.

Like in a family, what we see in a family
is that...

In a family there should be babies.

In the natural family.

But they should not remain
as babies.

They should grow up.

And by time, they should, actually,
grow up so much

that they leave the home
and go out and get their own family.

And now we are not parents
but grandparents.

As it is in the natural,
God wanted to be in the spiritual.

When I take a look at the church
today, I just want to say:

It is sad to see how far away
we have come from

what God wants us to be,

how few that are really growing up
and seeing good fruit

in their everyday life.

There are so many people today
in churches who just,

sad to say, continue being
spiritual babies the rest of their life.

Why? Why is it like that?

Could it be that we lack
discipleship?

I believe that is one of it.

But the truth is also that...

many people in the church
are not born again yet.

I want to read a quote here from my book
"The Call of Jesus" in this chapter.

"When a person is truly born again,
you will see it in their life.

There will be fruit in their life
that will show they are a new creation.

When there is fruit in a person's life,

they need milk so they can grow up
and mature;

however, if the fruit in not there,
that means they are not born again,

and they need something much
stronger then milk."

When a person is born again,

we looked at last time,
that person needs milk.

But if a person is not truly
born again,

they need something
much stronger then milk.

What is that?
Blood.

The blood of Jesus.
They need to be born again.

Because when they are born again,

the life is being transformed,

not from outside in,
but from inside out.

1 John 3:6-10 is saying this:

"No one who lives in Him
keeps on sinning.

No one who continues to sin
has either seen Him or known Him.

Dear children, do not let anyone
lead you astray.

The one who does what is right
is righteous, just as He is righteous.

The one who does what is sinful
is of the devil,

because the devil has been sinning
from the beginning.

The reason the Son of God appeared
was to destroy the works of the devil.

No one who is born of God will
continue in sin,

because God's seed remains in them;

they cannot go on sinning,
because they have been born of God.

This is how we know who's the children
of God and who's the children of the devil;

anyone who does not do what is right
is not God's children,

nor is anyone who does not love
their brothers or sisters."

What we see here is...
the Bible is very, very clear

that everyone who is truly born again
do not go on sinning.

The seed of God is inside of them
and they cannot go on sinning.

We also read that they love their brothers,
those who are born again.

If those things are missing
in a person's life,

if people are living in sin,

if people don't have the love
to be with other believers...

Why? Why is it missing?

Could it be because they are not
truly born again?

You know we can know a tree
by its fruit.

And if this is not there,

if the longing to live a holy life,
if the desire to love their brothers

and being with other people
is missing in a person's life,

you cannot disciple a person like that
into maturity. Why?

Because they are not born again yet.

And therefore, when we talk about
how to grow children up,

what we need to always start with
is the gospel.

We need to always go back to the gospel
and keep it simple.

Preach the gospel, even to those
who come to churches,

even to those who come
into your fellowships.

Because if you have a person
and you see something is missing,

what is missing is just revealing
a deeper problem.

And what is that?

That is the root.

You know we can know a tree
by its fruit.

If a tree, for example, produces
oranges,

and you want the tree to produce
apples instead,

the solution is not to take down
all the oranges

and tell the tree:
You have to stop producing oranges!

You need to start producing
apples! What is wrong with you, tree?

No, the tree just produces
what it is.

Orange tree produces oranges.

Apple tree produces apples.

A tree produces what it is.

The same is with a person.

If you have a person
who is living in sin,

if you have a person
who is not longing for the fellowship,

then I want to encourage you...

before you go deep, deep, deep in
and try to disciple them,

and draw them out, and:
Come on, you need to stop sinning.

Come on, you need to come
to the fellowship.

Come on, you need to...

because you'll get exhausted in that,

than rather take the time to sit down
with them and share the gospel.

Because when people truly
get that life... Hallelujah!

They don't need anyone
around them to:

Come on! You have to live holy!
Come on! You have to have the fellowship!

And I remember that.

I was 19 years old
when I gave my life to God.

I was the first one in my family
who gave his life to God.

I had no, like families, and many friends.

I had one friend who was a Christian.
I had no one else.

Right away, without even really
being in church ever,

when I got born again,
the first thing happened...

What was that?

It was what we read.

One of the first things that
happened was I could not go on sinning.

I could not. Like, when I did things
I was used to do,

that were sin, I just felt it inside of me.

The seed of God was inside of me.

I could not go on sinning.

And I know for my sake,
I did not need a lifted finger and say:

Hey, you are not allowed to do this.
You have to do this. You have to do this.

No. I did not need it. Why?
Because the seed was inside of me.

God was there.

As we read before.

Another thing was: I was longing
for fellowship with my new families.

I was longing for fellowship.

A guy like me, who was born again,
when I was longing for fellowship,

I needed more than just one day a week...

to go in and just meet,
Sunday was not enough.

I needed more.

And I wanted to live holy,
but in the beginning I fell

and I did wrong things,
and I felt condemned,

and there I also needed somebody
around me,

more than one day a week.

And in my life God gave me
somebody.

He gave me my father-in-law

who became my spiritual father,
who was there for me.

And my father-in-law helped me
to grow up.

He never sat down with me
and said:

Torben, now we will have a teaching.
This week we are talking about this,

next week we are talking about this,
third week we are talking about this...

No, my teaching,
the teaching he gave me, milk he gave me,

was on the couch, with him,
sitting beside me.

I was sitting there with my Bible,
and I was hungry.

And I asked a lot of questions:
What about this? What about this?

What about this? What about this?

And when I was fighting
he was always there.

When I was doubting and
asking questions - he was there.

This is what a newborn believer needs.

They don't need to just come to a meeting.

They need family.

They need 24/7...

somebody who is there,
who is ready to share life with them.

And this is how we really see
children grow up and become strong.

In 1 Corinthians 4:14-16
Paul is saying this:

"I am writing this not to shame you
but to warn you as my dear children.

Even if you had ten thousand
guardians in Christ,

you do not have many fathers,

for in Jesus Christ I became
your father through the gospel.

Therefore I urge you to imitate me."

There was many guardians, or many leaders,
let's say like that, in the church today.

But there are not many fathers.

Paul was really a father for
some of those people,

and I encourage you out there, when it comes
to how to grow people up in Christ,

when a person is a newborn and
experience Christ,

they need more than to just be invited
to a meeting.

They long for fellowship.
They want to live holy.

They need somebody who can just
be there for them,

somebody who can share life
with them,

somebody who can love them.

They need more then just to be
invited to a church.

They need to be invited
to a cup of coffee, or for a dinner.

And this is what I encourage you
to do.

When you start to work with people...

and you start to see people come to Christ,

open up your home.

Invite them for a dinner.

Sit down with them in the sofa.
Talk about life.

And there answer some of those questions
people often don't get answered in the church.

I know when I was a newborn believer
and sat in my father-in-law's to be house,

he did not put up a teaching,
as I said,

but he answered those questions
I had in that moment.

Hey, I'm fighting with this.
What about this?

What about this?
What about this?

And he gave me so much more,
to have somebody

to answer those questions
I had in that moment,

than going to hear a sermon 45 minutes,

with something that was not
working in my life.

But I want to say, it is not always easy
to find those right people,

people who are mature,
who want to help people.

It is not easy outside the church
or inside the church.

I remember some years ago, I was
in a city and I led some people to Christ.

There was no church in that city,
but there was a small group

of Christians gathering.
There were six Christians gathering.

And I tried to take some of those
new believers into that group,

but it was not easy, because in that
small group there was six people,

and when I looked at them, there were
two who were amazing,

who loved Jesus, amazing, on fire,
it just came out of them always.

Another two were more neutral,
and like: who are they?

They are good and not bad,
but they love Jesus, so it's fine.

But then there were two that were
worse poison ever.

Two very religious people who just
take out every life out of a new believer.

It was very difficult for me, because how
do I bring people to that small group,

and I wanted them to connect
with those two,

or maybe those two,
but not with those two.

And it's not easy.

Since I had those experiences,
I stopped just...

taking people to church,

because I did never know who
they will meet in church.

So, instead of just saying:
come to church

and let them connect with everyone,

because one of the first one
I really led to church,

she connected with wrong people
in church,

people who were living lukewarm,

and they ended up going to city,
and that girl fell away again,

because they were out drinking.

We see so many things today.

It's better, instead of just
leading people to church,

to just lead them to one or two
people who are on fire.

And I hope that is you,
that you are on fire.

That you will take the time
to meet with people.

Or, if you cannot, than find somebody
else who live the life, who's on fire,

and try to introduce those new believers
to them.

Somebody who can help,
somebody who can take care of them,

somebody who can help them grow up.

And I believe this is how it should be
for all of us.

I know it's not always easy,
because who to connect with,

but I've also seen it again and again
that God is in control.

So, if you don't have anyone,

then start to pray that God will send
the right one to those people.

And this is what He did with me.
When I look at my own life,

I did not have anyone who could help me,
who could take care of me,

but then God gave me my father-in-law.

It was not just accident.
It was God who ordained it.

It was God who took care of it.

I remember one night we were
in a meeting, a prophetic meeting.

A prophet called him up and said:
you have one son.

He said: No, I have three daughters.
You have a son.

No, I have three daughters.
You have a son.

No, I have three daughters.
You have a son.

He's like a son for you and your
job is to be there for your son.

And he knew who he was
talking about.

Me.

So, God has called my father-in-law
to be there for me.

My father-in-law is not a big minister.

He's not somebody who's
speaking in churches and who's all over.

This is not also what you need
and what other people out there need.

We do not need a big minister who
doesn't have time to take care of people.

We need people who have time.

We need people who can just give
what God has given them.

And I share much more about that
in my book "The Call of Jesus",

where I talk about how
we can be there for other people.

And if we don't have anyone ourselves,
what we can do,

and how we can pray and ask God
to lead us to somebody.

So I want to say this:
when we start to work with discipleship,

the best discipleship is to become
family and friends with people,

to walk with people,
to share life with people.

To be there especially for those
new people who come to faith.

The best teaching how do you get
people to grow up

is just to sit down with them
in a sofa, over the coffee table,

listen to their life,
listen to their story,

listen to what they are fighting with
right now,

what are they struggling with,

what questions do they have,

what did they read in the Bible
during the week, they don't understand,

and then be for them and
answer their questions.

And then pray for them.
And then help them.

This is how we get people to grow up.

Not to just invite them to a meeting
and give them 45 minutes of teaching.

No. Invite them to your home.
Go to their home.

Be there for them.

And I encourage you,
if you start to do that,

if everyone start to do that,
when we reach people,

and we take the time, and again,
we don't need a big minister.

You don't have to be a pastor
who's doing all of it.

It's something you and me can do,
each of us.

We can help people.
We can take care of them.

So this is how it is.

Be there. Love people.
Invest in them. Spend time with them.

And this is how we get people to grow up.

And then you will see fruit in their life.

Next time I'm going to do a video here
called "Dear Pastors and Leaders",

because next time I want to talk to all of you
who are pastors and leaders out there.

I'm not against the church.

But I want to challenge you.

I want to challenge you to really
take the call of Jesus

and give it to the people in the church,

and see a movement from God,
there where you are.

So, I look forward to see you next time.

Bye-bye!

The Call of Jesus