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I’m JEALOUS of my Therapist's other Clients? [CC English & Español] | Kati Morton


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Why am I jealous of my therapist having other clients? Now this can happen for many specific reasons, but there is really only one root reason to explain why we could feel this way. That is: attachment in childhood. Could be due to trauma or emotionally unavailable parents. This can be triggered by therapy because it could be the first place you have felt safe talking, sharing your real feelings, and most of all, being heard and understood by another person. That’s why transference is so common in therapy. Just think about it, if you were never listened to, cared for or validated, when we find a person who does even one of those things we can never want them to go away. It may feel like we have found something extra special and that can only be ours. We don’t want to share for fear that they will leave us, and that’s what causes that feeling of jealousy.
While I truly believe that transference is the root most often that causes this, I also think confidence plays a role. If we don’t think we are good enough, or even worthy of care and support, we may worry that our therapist is going to feel the same. Or we can worry that another patient may take away from their time with us.
Whatever the reason it’s important that we talk about this with our therapist. Let him or her know what you are feeling and what’s coming up for you. You could even let them know why you think it’s happening, and help them guide you and support you through it. Because in all honesty, the jealousy isn’t the real problem, it’s just a symptom of the real issue.
Video on transference:​ ​BetterHelp:​
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